#fic: the (self-appointed) archivist

[local-salt-raiders-fan]

I WAS ONE WORD OFF

ONE WORD OFF

[shukakumoodboard]

Choose violence: multiples of 6

oh hell yeah /is multipled

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ok so im fairly sure this is intended to be a "name the ship with annoying fans" ask but i'm actually going to interpret this as "name the type of shipping fans who are the most annoying" just to keep it funky fresh. and to that i say: shippers who actually do this shit and mean it

these are obviously fake generated but i digress. yes the icon is lee drawn as a cucumber. no i will not explain it

i see this in a lot of ships a lot of the time, and it's just like. why must you make this a ranked hierarchy of shippers with other people who enjoy the same ship? all that does is alienate other ship enjoyers who create fanwork. sure i'll crack a joke that i own the Rock Lee Fucks tag on ao3 because i am the person who created that specific tag, but i don't own gaalee or any other ship i've ever shipped or written or drawn for. like bruh. i've written 350k+ for that pair and i'd never be so far up my own ass as to declare myself supreme leader of gaalee or whatever.

i will however self-appoint myself glug server archivist. if it's findable i will find it. i'm standing in your yard because you mentioned how much snow fell in your region on a specific day. yes i know what hotel and floor you're on. i brought bagels. why are you screaming

12. answered!

18. it's absolutely criminal that the [gaalee] fandom has been sleeping on...

@urieskooki 's works in general. every single one of them deserves 420 kudos and 69 comments minimum. no one else has the power to make cake sitting, only fans, and bdsm all make sense together for a fandom of gay ninjas. im in hysterics. every single fic is a fucking banger. so fuckign help me i WILL bookbind some of them when i learn how. every single one of you who likes my sing a song of sleeptide is obligated to read the sunlight stopped coming through because it inspired a huge chunk of revelation

dear amber. im turning this ask into a lov letter. i wish for a fraction of ur talent with words. im going to reread lean beef patty rn. u can top me anytime

24. answered!

i WILL talk shit and probably SHOULD get hit

[disturbedgerblin]

Inspired by @anonymousalchemist's amazing Fic, a crack in the heart where the fear shines out. If you love the concept of Jon stumbling into Nightvale, definitely give it a read!

Comic Transcript Beneath the Cut:

[ID: Eight Page comic between Cecil, a radio host, and Jon, an archivist. Cecil is a white man with undercut, white hair, a slight build, wearing purple and white clothes. Jon is a brown man with shoulderlength, greying black hair, slight build,wearing green and black clothes. They hold their conversation in the recording studio of the Night Vale radio station.

CECIL: You look like you have questions. Listeners, my guest is standing over me right now. He mostly looks confused, and tired, and like has spent a long time with too little sleep and too much worry. And he looks angry. But not a hot anger, more like an anger like banked coals, or the anger of simmering water, formless and directed only by the vessel it is in.

JON: It’s—no. I don’t have a question. Well, I have a lot of questions, but, nevermind. Go on.

CECIL: No, go ahead! Ask.

JON: Alright, fine! I just don’t understand how you, well, how you have a boyfriend!

[Silence, but this time with a different energy]

CECIL: Well, there comes a time in every man’s life, when he sees a handsome scientist—

JON: Not like that! I mean like… I don’t understand how you are what you are and still...still have love? Still be capable of love? You’re the same as whatever I am, you’re more powerful than what I am, I’m pretty sure you’re also of the Eye, and you seem happy with it, which, great! Great for you! Great that you're having a great time! But how on earth does that square with having a boyfriend?

[Silence, with a third, entirely distinct energy]

CECIL: In the immortal words of one of the quintessential dance tunes from the 1990s performed by Haddaway, “What is love? Baby don’t hurt me.”

CECIL: What is love, listeners? What is it about the nature of love that makes the threat of harm so integral to its existence? If we were to pry open the human heart from its delicate cage and carefully carve into it with a scalpel, we would find no evidence of love. If I were to open my skull and scoop out the throbbing electric fat-and-protein jello that we call a brain, there would be no evidence of the feeling I have when Carlos smiles at me.

CECIL: And it was because of that love that when Carlos lay in Lane Five of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex,  when Carlos dove into the featureless black cubes that made up the condos, when Carlos was stranded in the desert otherworld, only reachable by call, text, or tumblr message, that I was afraid. That Carlos, perfectly imperfect Carlos, would be gone, only to exist in my memory, and that no amount of watching could save him. Love is not the antithesis of fear, listeners. It is the preamble to it.

CECIL: I broadcast these words to you at their pre-appointed times because I love Night Vale, just as many of you, sweet citizens, love Night Vale. And I broadcast because I fear for Night Vale. I fear, in the non-immortal words of my past self, for anyone caught between what they know and what they don’t yet know that they don’t know.

CECIL: The tragedy of our lives is that we are alive, and that our lives are so fleeting , the soap bubble of existence on top of a cruel and uncaring dimension full of untold horrors that invade our dreams and waking nightmares. But like a soap bubble, our lives are iridescent , and it is because of that fragility that they are.

CECIL: Do you have someone to hold at night? Pull them close, and fear for when they are gone. Be thankful you have someone to fear for.

[fiction-and-reality-are-complex]

Since you wanted fic recs, here's all the jmart fics I have bookmarked on AO3 (or, well, the ones that are actually focused on their relationship as opposed to their relationship being in the background of the fic). All the warnings are found in the beginning author's note/tags, or have been highlighted as spoilers and then made to be small text so that they can be avoided if you would rather avoid spoilers for potentially triggering content. Also if the summary isn't really a summary I've included a vague summary to go along.

~

Refusing to Give up Tomorrow by TorScrawls

They are finally free. Far away from London and with a small victory at their back they feel indestructible. Safe for the first time in years.

Or as free as they could be with Jon still shaking when he hasn’t read a statement in a while and with Martin doing his best to keep himself together. But they had time to sort all of that out.

...Right?

Scottish safehouse fix-it, contains implied/referenced self-harm. Rated T, 9,055 words.

Eyespot Books by SupposedToBeWriting

To Martin Blackwood's surprise, he wakes up in the ruins of the Magnus Institute. He thought he would be dead. The world is back to normal, the Entities are gone, and everyone realizes that it's finally over. The only sticking point is that Jon isn't exactly the Jon that went into the apocalypse. Never one to give up, Martin is determined to make a life for himself and his boyfriend. Even if he is a giant moth.

Described as having a deceptively light-hearted summary, contains spoiler body horror in the latter half end spoiler. Rated M, 37,032 words with two sequels of similar lengths.

through the clouds like a moonbeam by digitalWaterfall

After passing through the Vast’s domain, Jon is left with an unexpected surprise-- a pair of wings.

Unsurprisingly, Martin finds them beautiful. Also unsurprisingly, Jon does not.

Contains canon-typical Jon's self-loathing, as well as claustrophobia-inducing content. Rated G, 6,165 words.

i’ll bear the waiting now by CirrusGrey

When Jonathan Sims is promoted to Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, he does his best to live up to the demands of the job. He appoints his two closest friends, Timothy Stoker and Sasha James, to be his assistants. He works long hours to catch up on the backlog of clutter left behind by the previous Archivist. He tries to ignore the strange, disembodied voice that only he seems able to hear.

Contains hallucinations that turn out to be real and references to suicide. Also contains major character not-really death and "ghost"!Martin. Rated T, 43,084 words.

Déjà Vu by CirrusGrey

Sasha remembers being unmade. Tim remembers being Unknown. Jon and Martin remember being unwound. All of them think they're the only one. -------- The S1 crew wakes up in the past with memories up till the moment they died.

Contains a barely-aborted suicide attempt and references to canon-typical death. Rated T, 37,652 words.

true kinda love by Did

So. Martin isn't expecting anything to happen. But then, one day, something...does happen. It happens when Martin is passing Jon in the hall, and stops to ask how he’s doing, because Jon always looks a little bit like hell these days, and it makes Martin feel like he has to do something, and useless small talk is pretty much all he can do, so that’s what he does. And instead of grunting or shrugging or mumbling something dismissive, Jon replies, with perfect, involuntary clarity, "Every part of me aches, and I would just about kill to have someone rub my shoulders right now."

There's a positively deafening silence as they both come to grips with this unprecedented turn of events. Then they both start talking at once.

"Ah." says Jon.

"Wow." says Martin, at the same time.

In which Martin starts getting beholding avatar powers in season 3. Rated G, 5,054 words.

hiding by skuls

Jon exhales frustratedly. "It's just that… I have an idea of how we could hide, and i-it's a little unusual, and stupid, a-and so I wanted your… to make sure you are all right with it first."

--

kiss prompt 17: Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys

Jon and Martin kiss to hide from the Circus. This one is really good and I spent way too much time trying to find it a few months after I read it on tumblr. Rated T, 2,059 words.

terror management theory by prismatical

“It’s a preexisting condition,” Jon explains, sipping more bitter tea. “I sort of got—hm. You know Spiderman?”

Tim raises an eyebrow.

“Heard of him, yeah.”

Jon nods, studying his tea.

“It’s sort of like that,” he says. “A spider killed and ate me when I was a child, and now I can’t stay dead.”

-

Resurrection isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Jon can't die permanently, and so he keeps on dying throughout the events of s1-4. It contains a lot of suicidal ideation. Rated T, 36,587 words.

When No One Looks by CyberSearcher

Martin assumes Jon's late hours are a result of a poor sense of self care. He's half right. It's makes sense once he spends more time in the Archives after hours.

A Dark Avatar Jon AU

Contains very sweet hurt/comfort featuring a very physically monstrous Jon. Rated T, 2,512 words.

If The Archivist Had Been Meant To Fly.... by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)

“You still have hope! I can see it there in your eyes!” Simon sounds delighted. “Oh, you are much more resilient than Peter gave you credit for. You think your Archivist will come for you?” Simon gestures towards the perfect, endless sky. “Even if he does find a way in, there’s only one way he can go. The same way you’re going.” Simon chuckles smugly, eyes shining. “After all, if the Archivist had been meant to fly, he would have been given wings!”

Wingfic in which Jon saves Martin from Simon Fairchild. Contains scopophobia descriptions, body horror, and angst w/a happy ending. Rated T, 5,662 words.

Molt by Dribbledscribbles

It had been baffling, really. Such loyalty to someone who’d treated him so badly.

At the start, anyway. Time had passed. Events had transpired and threads of fate had drawn tighter. Heartstrings, strong as steel, fine as silk, weaving around the initial office crush until it became something new.

Jonathan Sims loved Martin Blackwood. He was wound snug as a ring on his heavy little finger. Especially here, now, in the Changed world. The Archivist, bound to his hip. Never straying. Good and close and loyal.

Just as Mother wanted.

This is actually my favorite take on web!Martin, but do be warned that the first chapter is horribly angsty, so much so that it was originally supposed to be a oneshot but it made Dribbledscribbles so sad that they wrote the second chapter as a fix-it. It contains a lot of spiders, body horror, and spoiler mind control and threats of corrective rape towards Jon end spoiler. Rated T, 14,743 words.

Something's Different About You Lately by thesnadger

Jonathan Sims has been head archivist for just a few months, but he has memories of holding the position for years. He remembers monsters, and darkness, and the end of the world. Somehow, he'll have to keep everyone safe from what's coming. Meanwhile, his assistants can't understand why their prickly jerk of a boss has gone sappy all of a sudden.

Canon-divergent post-season 4, though it did accidentally predict MAG 193. Contains anxiety attacks, spiders, suicidal ideation, unreality, and in the third chapter spoiler brain/skull gore end spoiler. Rated T, 65,518 words with a 8,203 word side-story.

Other Kingdoms by cuttooth

"Is it like this In death's other kingdom Waking alone At the hour when we are Trembling with tenderness" T. S. Eliot - The Hollow Men

Martin has an idea.

Canon-divergent after MAG 120, an alternate take on waking Jon up from his coma. Spoiler contains canon-typical worms and non-explicit sex end spoiler. Rated T, 12,868 words.

The Future's Calling, and It's not Pretty by StormStuff

"Oh, shut up," the doppelganger said, crying and laughing. He looked like Martin, but that couldn't be right because Martin was watching this all unfold. "Now, I'm sorry to just pop in, but I have no clue how long I was in the halls - yes, I know you know - so I'm probably about to pass out. Sorry."

True to his word, he slumped down against the wall. Somewhere, a tape recorder clicked off.

"Alright," Tim said when the silence got uncomfortable, "We're not going to try and pretend that wasn't supernatural, right?"

(or, a time travel au, but this time with monster!Jon)

This was the first time I ever liked a time-travel fix-it. Canon-divergent post MAG 160. Contains canon-typical worms and paranoia. Rated T, 97,567 words.

Patchwork by MiraEyeteeth

“Martin, you’re not… Er... You didn't die here, did you?”

“What? No. No, I died in my flat, actually.”

Web!Martin, contains accidental mind control and temporary character death, as well as spoiler a bittersweet ending, imo end spoiler. Rated T, 127,979 words with an 18,627 side-oneshot collection ft. alternate POV's and universes of various scenes in the story.

~

Anyways, I hope you enjoy these fics and also that tumblr doesn't break bc of the long ask!

Hopefully this did not break! I'm posting it in case other people would like to see the list you sent. I marked all the ones for later that I plan to read and just... -quietly holes up to read them-

There are warnings and small spoilers be warned guys, thank you tons for all the tags and warnings anon!

[gffa]

I have often given Qui-Gon Jinn a hard time because he’s so often used in STAR WARS fandom as a weapon to beat on other characters I love and it makes it difficult to like him, as well as it overshadows who the character himself is. So, to help balance that out some, I wanted to do a set of recs to remind myself–and just share some happiness in!–that I actually do very much like Qui-Gon! He’s a good person who really loved the people around him, he cared very deeply, he had an amazing friendship with Yoda (seriously, that Yoda’s the one he reaches out to when he becomes a Force Ghost, that even after death, Qui-Gon loves his Jedi family, it gives me feelings in my feelings place every single time), and one of my favorite things about Master & Apprentice is that I often got the impression that he knew he was kind of obnoxious sometimes, but he was at peace with it, he was fine with that. That was a straight shot to my heart, I love that dude! So, here have some fics that celebrate that Qui-Gon is actually a really great character. He may not always be the central character, but I remember him being well portrayed in these and they gave me good Qui-Gon feelings! STAR WARS - QUI-GON JINN FIC RECS: ✦ Reprise by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & dooku & mace & cast, time travel, 491.1k wip    Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Major AU. ✦ The Way Back Home by Anakinstopyourpanakin, happygiraffe, obi-wan & qui-gon & bant & tahl, 39.5k wip    He had been missing for nearly four years. How could Obi-Wan be alive? It was too good to be true, and simultaneously too horrifying. What had been done to the innocent child who was currently falling asleep against his shoulder, and did his wounds run too deep for Qui-Gon to mend? ✦ When the world gets too heavy put it on my back by nematoda, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 29.8k    Obi-Wan is different when it comes to relationships. Not in a bad way, just… different. Studies of platonic love in the life of Obi-Wan Kenobi, exploring the master/padawan relationship with Qui-Gon and eventually with Anakin. ✦ Shadows of the Future by stormqueen873, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 129.3k    ObiWan lost the duel on Mustafar, but instead of dying, he finds himself on a ship leaving Tatooine, with his old Master and a familiar young boy. As events begin to unfold, can he stop the future he knows from occuring? ✦ No Galaxy for Good Jedi by Annie_Walker, obi-wan & anakin & padme & qui-gon & dooku & yoda & cast, some obi-wan/satine, sith!qui-gon, 124.8k wip    Obi-Wan Kenobi was only a young padawan when he ran away with three-year old Anakin. He had no choice after his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, fell to the Dark Side by Master Dooku’s manipulations. ✦ Masters and Padawans: Three Generations by GirlwithCurls98, qui-gon & obi-wan + obi-wan & anakin + anakin & ahsoka, 24.6k    Three generations of incredible bonds. ✦ What Is My Heritage? by Marnie, qui-gon & yoda, 7.7k    Qui-Gon, age 13, tries to find a place to belong. ✦ Coming Home by Marnie, qui-gon & yoda & dooku, 18.1k    A story telling how Qui-Gon comes to be Dooku’s apprentice. ✦ Trust Me by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 2k    A certain Jedi Master is less than pleased about being laid up with the flu. ✦ Triviality and QuiGon by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 4.1k    The Council’s infinite cruelty gives Dooku the most brutal of punishments: quality time with the Padawan and his plantlife! ✦ Rainy by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 26.8k wip    A seemingly easy mission goes horribly wrong for Padawan Qui and Master Dooku as they struggle to battle an insane adversary, poisons and curses, and an awful lot of rain. ✦ The Luckiest Man Alive + Letting Go by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & yoda, 7.9k    Yoda, Dooku, and a twenty four year old QuiGon go to the small planet of Omartia to pick up a forcesensitive infant. + Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to pick up a Force-sensitive child. On the way back, Qui-Gon is faced with the fact that someday very soon, he will have to let Obi-Wan go. ✦ Lineage by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & xanatos & cast, 35.9k    AU!Jedi Apprentice. Book I: In which master and apprentice meet for the first time, enjoy a disastrous adventure courtesy of Xanatos DuCrion, and reap the fruits of patience and fortitude. A fanciful retelling of the original. ✦ Lineage II by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 40.9k    A year or so has elapsed since the last time we saw our heroes. BOOK 2: In which master and apprentice investigate an evil brainwashing plot, attend a boisterous wedding, and battle the enemy within. ✦ Lineage III by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & xanatos & bant & cast, 49.4k    AU!Jedi Apprentice. Book III: Master and apprentice face an important rite of passage, grapple with a traitorous plot within the Temple’s walls, and discover the limits of obedience and intuition. Appearances by Bant Eerin, Xanatos DuCrion, Yan Dooku, and others. ✦ Lineage IV by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & siri & adi gallia, 39.3k    Master and apprentice endure a stint with the Agri-Corps, and find that trouble has a way of coming home to haunt them. Featuring a pile of bantha poodoo, a tentacled carnivorous plant, a desperate escaped convict, and a highly provocative young woman. ✦ Lineage V by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & tahl (& some qui-gon/tahl) & dooku & cast, 50.7k    An evil scientist wreaks havoc when she captures Jedi Knight Tahl Uvain for purposes of obscure research; Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan rush to the rescue, only to be embroiled in further trouble; and Master Dooku joins in the hunt with characteristic aplomb. ✦ Lineage VI by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 66.2k    Master and apprentice undertake a risky undercover mission to expose conspiracy in a far-flung sector; a comedy of manners abruptly transforms into a nightmare when their cover is blown; and a desperate escape gambit strikes deep at the foundations of trust. ✦ Lineage VII by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & siri & adi gallia & some obi-wan/siri, 74.5k    Sent to the aid of their fellow Jedi on a disastrous mission to New Apsolon, master and apprentice contend with brainwashing, genocide, conspiracy, and the perilous realm of the heart. ✦ Lineage VIII by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 83.4k    Hard on the heels of the mission to Apsolon, master and apprentice find new troubles - in their own backyard. Jenna Zan Arbor faces prosecution for her crimes; the Jedi grapple with the disastrous realities of corruption and personal loss; Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon undertake perilous and disparate quests. ✦ Lineage IX by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & cast, 61k    A year after parting ways, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon struggle to complete their self-appointed quests for enlightenment and justice. ✦ Lineage X by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku, 49.2k    The war-ravaged world Melida-Daan is backdrop to a manhunt, an occult conspiracy, a bitter guerilla conflict, and a test of ultimate loyalties. ✦ Lineage XI by ruth baulding, obi-qan & qui-gon & cast, 56k    The disastrous situation on Melida-Daan takes a turn for the worse; the Jedi dispatch a team to capture a dangerous murderer; and Qui-Gon Jinn and his former apprentice face the consequences of their rebellion. Series finale. ✦ Snakefic by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & yoda & cast, 6k    It was only the matter of time before the egg hatched. ✦ Strokes of Colored Grey by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon, 9.5k    ObiWan has been drawing since he was a small youngling, but only a few people know, including his teacher, Vianro Dleka, and the elderly, trustworthy archivist, KinWan Terius. But what happens when his master discovers his secret? ✦ Pies, Books, and Swords, obi-wan & qui-gon/tahl, 1.2k    Qui-Gon Jinn has made quite a good name for himself, as far as holonet cooking shows go. ✦ They Are by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 1.7k    This is their moment, their eternity. They think its going to be like this forever. ✦ Strongest Stars by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & chirrut & cast, 2.6k    The Force works in mysterious ways. A few quiet moments in the dark create a touchstone spanning across three generations, two orthodoxies, a war, time, space, and the galaxy. A maverick meets a visionary and listens for a song. Spoilers for Rogue One, sort of? ✦ Anecdotally by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 14.6k    The biggest stories are always made up of smaller ones. Here are some of the forgotten moments in the life of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Will feature a wide variety of genres, characters, eras, and AUs. Oneshots from whenever inspiration strikes. ✦ the floor under our feet by FoxGlade, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & dooku + background pairings, 4.5k wip    or, the adventures and exploits of Qui-Gon’s three adopted children. ✦ A Long, Long Time Ago by ruth baulding, dooku & qui-gon + qui-gon & obi-wan + obi-wan & anakin + anakin & ahsoka, 5.8k    A wisdom tale handed passed down through the generations poses troublesome questions for a line of masters and Padawans, from Dooku to Ahsoka Tano. ✦ Family by lilyconrad, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & darth maul & cast, sith!obi-wan, 6.8k    Seven years after the duel on Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi has turned to the dark, Maul has turned to the light, and young Anakin is caught somewhere in-between. Can Qui-Gon rescue his Padawan before it’s too late? ✦ Fountain of Force by esama, qui-gon & cast, final fantasy 7 crossover, 8.9k    In which Qui-Gon Jinn comes from Gaia. ✦ Midwinter Sun by orphan_account, dooku & qui-gon, 4.2k    Padawan Jinn is a rebel and Dooku is very much not ready. ✦ Jedi In Winter by bluedragoninamber, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & yoda, 12.3k    In which Yan Dooku understands regret and tries to make things right. Something new will be born from the ashes of the old but exactly what remains to be seen. ✦ A New History by Annie Walker, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & dooku & cast, time travel, 533.4k wip    During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. ✦ In the Heart of the Force by ReneeoftheStars, ahsoka & qui-gon, 1.7k    Ahsoka Tano travels back to the world between world’s. Searching for answers, she comes across a past event that only makes her question the past even more. ✦ Stitches and Time by ladyarcherfan3, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ocs, 4k    Alara Nel is a seamstress who keeps getting an unusually large number of orders for Jedi robes from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Over the years, she learns why and gets to know the Jedi a little bit better. ✦ The Uses of a Sandwich by Laura Kaye (laurakaye), obi-wan & qui-gon & oc & cast, 17.6k    A few months after being taken as a Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi faces a challenge: meeting his Master’s first apprentice. ✦ untitled by elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon, 3.1k    Anonymous asked: if you’re still accepting prompts: smol padawan obi-wan letting slip his law abiding exterior and letting loose the terrifying intensity beneath it. preferably in defense of qui-gon or something. ✦ The will of the Force by Lysore, obi-wan & yoda & qui-gon, 2.7k    Obi-Wan piqued Yoda’s interest early on, except the Grand Master of the Order had known for just as long that the Initiate was destined to be Qui-Gon Jinn’s Padawan. ✦ I thought I fought this war alone by stonefreeak, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 3.7k    Obi-Wan is thirteen years old, just about to start learning Ataru from his Master. Obi-Wan is sixty-one years old, dead and one with the Force since four years back. Obi-Wan is both, and neither. ✦ The First Trial by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 2k    Accompanied by his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, young Obi-Wan Kenobi undergoes his first trial and rite as a Padawan Learner on the frozen planet of Ilum. ✦ Hearts Entwined by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & qui-gon, time travel, 6.5k wip    stolen moments between Padawan Kenobi and Shmi Skywalker, glimpsed by Qui Gon Jinn, and his continued attempts to understand both this strange new addition to the Temple and the unexplained relationship between the pair ✦ The Orchards by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 3.6k    When young Obi-Wan Kenobi is injured on a previous mission, Qui-Gon Jinn refuses to accept further off-planet missions until his Padawan’s recovery. Yoda assigns the pair an in-Temple mission of utmost importance while Obi-Wan heals. Master and Padawan welcome the change of pace. ✦ The Path of Totality by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & yoda & qui-gon & cast, 1.8k    Before going their separate ways into exile, Obi-Wan Kenobi shares with Yoda a lesson of wisdom he’d learned from his late Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. A lesson of darkness, light, and hope. ✦ Finding Balance by Raven_Knight, qui-gon & dooku & jocasta, 1.4k    Eleven-year-old Padawan Jinn is left behind while his Master goes on a mission off-planet. Qui-Gon is left in the care of Jocasta Nu, and he’s not exactly enthusiastic about it. ✦ Warmth by Tomatosoupful, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & xanatos & tahl & shmi & cast, child endangerment, time travel, 59.8k wip    Time Travel AU. Anakin has woken up in the past. Time to say hello to past friends, right? Only problem, Anakin is a walking talking human disaster and makes a lot of stupid decisions. Stealing a Jedi baby from the temple certainly isn’t the smartest thing he’s done. ✦ Abducted by devilinthedetails, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.6k    In trying to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a planetary leader, Qui-Gon finds himself abducted and in need of Obi-Wan’s rescue. ✦ Trust Fall by devilinthedetails, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 1.4k    Two generations of Masters and Padawans. Two generations of trust falls. ✦ Something Borrowed, Something New by Raven_Knight, qui-gon & dooku/jocasta, 1.6k    Qui-Gon Jinn had only been claimed as Knight Dooku’s Padawan for three weeks before he’d managed to get himself into trouble with his Master. ✦ In Memoriam by ruth baulding, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & evan piell, 6.4k    In the midst of a desperate escape from the Citadel, Obi Wan mourns a friendship. A tribute to Jedi Master Evan Piell. ✦ One Day by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & mace & shmi & bail/breha & palpatine, 9.9k    A single moment in time, on five different planets. A birth, an election, a discovery, a marriage, and a mission. Because all things are mysteriously united in the Force. ✦ They Are by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 1.7k    This is their moment, their eternity. They think its going to be like this forever. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & some anakin/padme & ahsoka & qui-gon & rex & cast, time travel, 77k wip    ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ Family by lilyconrad, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & darth maul & cast, sith!obi-wan, 6.8k    Seven years after the duel on Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi has turned to the dark, Maul has turned to the light, and young Anakin is caught somewhere in-between. Can Qui-Gon rescue his Padawan before it’s too late? ✦ Fountain of Force by esama, qui-gon & cast, final fantasy 7 crossover, 8.9k    In which Qui-Gon Jinn comes from Gaia. ✦ Rewrought by esama, obi-wan & qui-gon & maul, time travel, 4.4k    Bit o time travel ✦ Lion Jinn by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 5.7k wip    Qui-Gon Jinn reincarnates as a lion. ✦ Brothers (working title) by Charity_Angel, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme & shmi & yoda & cast, 17.3k wip    In which Qui-Gon has a very near miss on Naboo, Obi-Wan is very stubborn, and they end up breaking a lot of rules accidentally as a result. All because of that kid they picked up on Tatooine. ✦ untitled by legobiwan, yoda & dooku & qui-gon, 1.5k    Yan Dooku was getting too old for this type of thing. He had rushed into the healer’s ward, Qui-gon’s limp body in his arms. That in itself had been a feat, as the boy’s gangly limbs were everywhere, but somehow the older Jedi Master had been able to deposit his wayward Padawan on a bed before an errant arm took his nose off. ✦ Drifting Starlight by Pandora151, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 60.3k    Just before the fateful Battle of Naboo, Qui-Gon Jinn is brought to the future, to the Clone Wars. He doesn’t know why or how, but he knows one thing for sure: He never, in a million years, expected the galaxy to end up like this. ✦ Although He Smiles by AutumnChild22, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 86.9k wip    She’d counted the 750 steps down from the Temple. She’d said her goodbyes, and left Master Anakin standing below the great pillars. What more could the Force want from her? ‘Everything’ sums it up nicely. Waking 13 years in the past, Ahsoka faces a harsh reality. As events begin to unfold, she faces a ticking clock that times a galaxy’s end. ✦ A New History by Annie Walker, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & dooku & cast, time travel, 533.4k wip    During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. ✦ The First Trial by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 2k    Accompanied by his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, young Obi-Wan Kenobi undergoes his first trial and rite as a Padawan Learner on the frozen planet of Ilum. ✦ Hearts Entwined by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & qui-gon, time travel, 6.5k wip    stolen moments between Padawan Kenobi and Shmi Skywalker, glimpsed by Qui Gon Jinn, and his continued attempts to understand both this strange new addition to the Temple and the unexplained relationship between the pair ✦ Highly Dissatisfied by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.1k    Obi-Wan enters the quarters he shares with his Master, intending to ask for help in preparation for his exams. Qui-Gon, however, is dealing with a far more urgent matter. ✦ playing yourself like a red three by EclipseMidnight (EternalEclipse), obi-wan & xanatos & qui-gon, 7.7k    As usual, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s mission has gone spectacularly sideways, this time before they even reach the planet they are meant to be helping. Luckily for them, they get some help from an unexpected source. ✦ so far the suns by blackkat, mace & qui-gon, 1.3k    “My old friend,” Qui-Gon tells Mace, quiet, and his presence comes closer. “I fear I made several mistakes in the past weeks, and I would ask you to correct them for me.” ✦ The Cry by batsojopo, obi-wan & qui-gon & xanatos & ocs & cast, 4.2k    This is my version of how Obi-Wan Kenobi arrived at the Jedi Temple. ✦ kybersong by Shadaras, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.6k    Obi-Wan Kenobi goes in search of his lightsaber’s crystal heart. ✦ What Have We Become by Batsutousai, feemor & qui-gon & obi-wan & anakin & cast, time travel, 43.7k    One of Feemor’s greatest regrets, was that he never had the chance to get to know his brother-padawan, but the Force is willing to give him one more chance. And maybe, if he’s lucky, he can finally make amends with his former master and save them all in the process. ✦ We Start and End With Family by Batsutousai, feemor & qui-gon & obi-wan & yoda & cast, time travel, 8.8k    Qui-Gon had been mostly joking when he’d originally brought up the idea of a lineage dinner, but when his former padawan grabbed for the idea with both hands and a desperation Qui-Gon didn’t understand (and privately hoped he never would), he knew he would never be able to refuse. ✦ turning dust right into gold by blackkat, mace/qui-gon & depa & cast, 1.3k    Mace knows Depa too well. She’s absolutely going to do something terrible, particularly for Mace’s dignity. ✦ A Price to Be Paid by Peach_Bitters (Starf), qui-gon & dooku & cast, 3.1k    Young Qui-Gon learns there’s a price to be paid for his curiosity. ✦ For the Future of the Order by thetorontokid, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 3.9k    There are important lessons to be found in the Jedi Temple crèche.

[captaincravatthecapricious]

Black Eye- Prompt Fill

Three times Jon gives himself a black eye.

Cw alcohol, minor injuries, mentions of misgendering

@thevengefulhufflepuff​

I have one more bingo fic left to post, and after that I am doing the "things you said" prompt list, so if there is something you want written for Jon or Martin or Tim, please please please send me a prompt because I need at least one by Friday, because that be writing day!  Card by the wonderful @celosiaa​

Jon is nine years old.  Jon is nine years old and he’s given himself a black eye.  

He doesn’t want to go home to his grandmother.  

Technically it had been her fault anyhow.  If she’d gotten him a book of activities for Boys instead of one for Girls, it probably would have better explained how to make a sling shot… and how to avoid punching yourself in the face while trying to use it.  

But no.  He has a book of activities for Girls.  It has about seven different ways to braid your hair, and how to sew (which Jon does find useful so his grandmother won’t scold him for tearing his clothes), how to make dolls out of yarn, a handful of useless ways to use a bandana, a dozen crafts with doilies, and so on.  Useless.  

It wouldn’t help him protect himself, which clearly he Needs to protect himself after….  After That.  Not to mention, he isn’t a girl, no matter what his Grandmother and teachers keep trying to tell him.  

He thinks it’s the hair.  If he could cut it maybe they would start getting it right.  Grandmother probably wouldn’t mind, it would make him easier to deal with.  No stray hairs on everything, no urging him to brush it, no forcibly making him get it out of his face.  

Still.  He doesn’t want his grandmother to see his black eye, because that will mean scolding him for fighting, which he wasn’t, and getting told it isn’t ladylike.  He isn’t a lady.  

Still.  He can’t exactly wander as far as he used to.  He knows his Grandmother will be no help at all with the Things he knows are out there now, but the illusion of safety is better than nothing.  

He doesn’t try to cover it with makeup.  He’s seen characters do that in books and in movies and it never works.  So why bother?  (Not to mention he doesn’t want to touch his eye.  He’d been so afraid that he’d broken his glasses.  He wouldn’t be able to explain that, and then his grandmother would have to pay for another pair and the thought of her spending more money on him makes his stomach twist with guilt.  But his overlarge glasses that earned him many ridicules slipped down his face before he’d punched himself.  (For a moment he’d worried he’d popped his eyeball, before remembering that eyes don’t pop like squished grapes… or at least not as easily as most people thought.  There were tougher parts of the eye not to mention he could still see through it, and open it (mostly) and there wasn’t any blood or virtuous humor leaking out of him, so it was probably fine… or so he’d thought until he caught his reflection in a window and seen the darkening contusion.)  He’d rather get the yelling over with.  So he calmly washes up before supper and sits at the table.  

“Have you been fighting?���  She looks over the table at him with cold disapproval.  

“No.”  Jon stays calm.  He is practically an adult.  He can have a discussion as such.  

“Then, how did this happen?”

“I made a slingshot and was practicing my aim in the yard, and I hit myself in the face.”  

She studies in, trying to gauge if he’s lying.  

The yelling never comes, so he guesses she believes him.  But he does get the lecture on ladylike behavior.  

That night he cuts his hair short with scissors.  It effectively distracts his grandmother and his teachers from his black eye.  

Jon is freshly appointed as head Archivist.  Already piled down with paperwork, struggling with the keys to his office.  Cursing as several papers escape his pile and drift to the floor.  He can hardly see over the stack he’s carrying, and he’s afraid some of the files will fall instead of the loose papers on top.  Mostly his notes and instructions and to-do lists.  He wants to cry.  Barely a week in and he’s already in over his head.  

Why did He get this job?  Why not Sasha?  

There is already an aching chasm between him and the people that have been his friends, and he’s carved out a rift between himself and Martin.  And what for?  

He can’t do this on his own.  

He can’t even do it, period.  

Can’t even open his office door.  

No.  No.  He isn’t going to cry in the hallway.  

His key is in the lock now, but he can’t turn it.  Can’t even manage to turn it half the time when he can see the lock and isn’t carrying things.  

“Heya Boss!”

Jon jumps, just as the door unsticks.  

His files tumble to the ground, his glasses slide off his face, and the door smacks him in the eye.  

“FUCK.”  Jon is knocked on his ass.  

Tim snickers, because of Course Tim came along just in time to startle him.  

Jon stifles a sob.  “Go away, Tim.”  If he isn’t going to help, and evidence from the last week points to Tim not helping, he can leave Jon to his stress and exhaustion and bruising eye.  

Something in Jon’s tone must give him away, because it shuts Tim up, and he kneeling by his side, prying his hands away from his face, and giving a low whistle at the rapidly forming bruise.  

“Shit Jon, do… do you need some ice?  Do you want a hand with… Jesus, Jon how did you even carry all this?”

Jon curls away from him.  “Not like you were helping.”  Petulant like a child.  Christ, what happened since his childhood, he had been irritating and rude, sure, but much less needy… right?  Surely his nine-year-old self wouldn’t have been near tears in the hall because his friend might hate him.  Stupid and sensitive.  When did he start needing people?  He’d been fine alone.  Always fine.  And no one got hurt when there was no one to hurt.  

“I’m fine.”  Probably would be more convincing if he weren’t curled up like a frightened child.  

“Sure.  How about we get you to the breakroom, and you can have a sit-down on the couch with some ice on that eye of yours, and I clean up this mess, okay?”

Jon doesn’t have it in him to say no.  Because that sounds very, very nice.  

Jon nods off there and wakes to find significantly less work than he had before, and all the files reassembled and organized.  

It’s New Years, and Jon is struggling with a bottle of champagne.  

He’s never really opened a bottle before.  He’s not have champagne that often, in all fairness.  A couple of office parties that were terrible and the drinks were cheap, despite the dress code.  And there was the time Georgie bought them a bottle.  But Georgie had opened it with a satisfying pop and it had tasted strange to him, but it had also tasted like happiness and contentment and safety.  

Jon can’t get the foil off, and Tim is laughing at him.  

Sasha is trying to help him, but she’s laughing too hard to get a word out, let alone stand up.  

Jon is faking a pout, and fighting actual irritation, and trying to bite down his pride and ask Martin for help.  

He gets the foil off, but can’t get a grip on the cork.  

Tim is giggling something about his little noodle arms, which Sasha smacks him lightly and tells him to be nice about, but they are both laughing harder now, and it’s… all so Good.  In a way that Jon hadn’t thought possible.  

Or it Was good until the cork slips out of his hands as he finally pulls it free and it hits him in the eye.   Again, knocking his glasses sideways (but thankfully not breaking them).  

He stands there startled, only a little champagne spilling.  

“Oh shit, Jon!”  Sasha takes the bottle from him.  

Martin comes running.  “Jon!  What happened?”

Jon is still processing what happened.  

Tim is still laughing so hard he’s crying.  

“Fine, Martin, just got punched by the champagne.”  It honestly doesn’t hurt (especially not after everything else he’s been through), but Jon is very aware that it is likely bruising before their eyes.  Damn his EDS.  

“Ice!  You need some ice!”  Martin already reaching for one of their Many ice packs.  

“Really, Martin, doesn’t even hurt!”  He appreciates the care, it feels good to know that people are looking out for him… even Tim who still has tears of laughter streaming down his face.  

“BOSS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT IN A FISTFIGHTTTTT REMEMBER WHEN YOU WALKED INTO THAT DOOR.”

Jon hmms in his driest academic voice, “I seem to recall that was your fault.”  

“I REMEMBER THAT, JON WOULDN’T TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!”  Sasha’s laughing again now too.  

Jon is biting back a smile.  He’s glad he has them back.  

“You sure you’re alright?”  Martin examines his eye, before handing over the ice, and leading Jon to a seat, with a kiss.  

“Perfect.  Promise.  …Although I wouldn’t say no to some of that champagne.”  

[pensivetense]

The great avatar dating sim? 👀

@jupiter-mechanism: Okay, I have to ask about The Great Avatar Dating Sim. Just from the title, the idea fills me with delight.

Thanks so much you guys!

I have the tendency to title my wips ironically, so, uh, this is actually a self-insert fic playing off of old self-insert tropes because I’m occasionally nostalgic for early 2010’s fandom.

‘You’ probably shouldn’t have been poking around the basement oh 105 Hill Top Road, but in your defence, 105 Hill Top Road isn’t supposed to exist? You’re sucked into the Magnus Archives universe five years in the past. Gertrude Robinson has just been murdered, and Elias hasn’t appointed a new Archivist yet. Also, you receive a hotel keycard and a few basic supplies from a ‘mysterious patron’ (it’s Annabelle and you know it). What do you do?

Well, it turns out, you panic. The world is ending in two and a half years—you can’t prevent it, so you need to be gone by then. Cue your increasingly desperate attempts to escape back into your own reality. The irony in the title is that you keep ending up in schlocky romance tropes with the various Avatars, and you’re too busy clawing the walls of your cage to notice.

I originally didn’t know whether ‘you’ were going to be the Archivist or not because I started writing this by setting a dc and rolling dice for each of your decisions just to see what ridiculous situations you’d get yourself into, but then it turned into an actual story about complicity and knowledge and the fact that ‘you’ are so convinced that you have no influence in the world that you can’t alter any events of the podcast. You might be right—you probably can’t chessmaster your way into preventing the eyepocalypse—but you do have an influence on the people you’re around, and that’s worth more than you think.

[bunny-hoodlum]

@nightowl27-writer You got me hooked with your excerpt!! I remember back in the day trying to find a Post-Pein NH fic that felt grounded in the setting, and this fits what I wanted to read back then. 😲💖 Ugh, and Hiashi saying their scrolls, antiques, traditions etc, that targets my inner archivist so bad. 😫😫😫

I really don't have much to share because the last I left off of AWY, I wasn't feeling it. And same goes for RH right now. I'm in that warm-up-and-then-scrap stage of writing. 😅

Asynchronous With You Ch 8 Wip:

Having Hanabi over for dinner every other day was her idea. But…

Hanabi: Can you come pick me up? I'll wait for you outside the school gates.

Going back to her old ward never crossed her mind.

A heavy thunk against the classroom window drew her gaze outside. Drab overcast skies had stretched themselves over the city like a coffin lid, sealing out the sun. A new smattering of thunks announced the hard, winter rain that would soon pummel the earth.

Good thing she's in the habit of checking the weather every day upon waking.

She didn't forget their umbrellas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hinata was on her way to join Naruto and Sasuke in the cafeteria, seeing how their usual spot on the rooftop was taking a frigid beating, when she found herself flanked by Ino and Sakura. Hinata sensed another presence behind her. Looking over her shoulder, it was Sai, drawing on his mini-tablet.

Ino slung an arm around Hinata's shoulders, like the self-appointed Onee-san that she was. "You look sadder than the weather. What's up?"

Even Naruto hadn't been so attuned, although once she sits down with him, it may be all they talk about.

Hinata glanced at Sakura's curious gaze before relenting. "I'll be picking up my younger sister after school. She's coming over for dinner every other day. It's what we came up with in order to get to know each other, since we both have our own things on Sunday."

"But?" Sakura urged.

"I haven't been over to that side of the city since uhm," Hinata threw another glance over at Sai. She really didn't want to say this part aloud.

Ino whistled for his attention. He stopped abruptly and looked at her. Ino jutted her thumb over her shoulder. "Scram, Hokusai. I'll come find you later."

He shrugged and resumed drawing, turning on his heel as he obeyed Ino perfectly and walked away.

What exactly was their relationship? They've been at the hip since her and Naruto's announcement, but Hinata didn't detect any romantic tension between them.

Hinata spotted an empty corridor up ahead and gestured for them to follow. Once they had secured proper seclusion, Hinata finished her explanation. "I haven't been over there since CPS took us away. That's all."

"Well, that's clearly not 'all'," Ino scoffed.

"It's your old neighborhood? How close is the school to your--" Sakura was cut off by a sharp elbow jab to her ribs.

'Parents' is what she was going to say. And it was exactly what Hinata didn't want to think about. For them to be even walking distance from Hanabi's school. And what if they decide they're picking her up today? What if they just happen to feel like taking her home? Forget any plans of having dinner with her 'friends'. Because whatever her parents wanted, they got. Just like with Hanabi.

The abrupt vibration of her smartphone in her skirt pocket saved her. She knew exactly who was texting her.

Naruto-kun: yo where u at?

She felt a little guilty for letting him cut into their girl time for a second time and how grateful she was for it.

She's not letting Ino and Sakura have much room to be her friends if she keeps running away to him instead.

"That Charato?" Ino asked. Now it was Sakura's turn to scoff. She wasn't going to accept them, was she? Then again, Hinata had a clubmate who wouldn't accept them either.

Hinata sighed before pocketing her phone. The pressure to decide for the group hung dangerously overhead. She can make pragmatic decisions thanks to her experience in the PMC. But she still can't bring herself to influence others into doing things they obviously won't like.

Girl time or Naruto time? Girl time or Naruto time?

She wanted to pound her fists against her skull.

Hinata hung her head. "Would you care to eat with us? Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun are waiting."

"Waiting. For you," Sakura repeated in disbelief.

If Sakura weren't so principled, she probably would've sucked up to Naruto long ago just to be allowed in Sasuke's orbit. But maybe she was more shocked to hear that he and Hinata have become quite the buddy-buddies.

"Mm-hm," Hinata nodded dully, wishing someone would make up their mind for her.

Ino, however, looked appalled at the very idea.

Why was this her life? Could someone tell her? Anyone?

After a few minutes of silence, Sakura and Ino both reluctantly intoned "Fine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto didn't want to eat his bento until Hinata sat down too. He rested his head atop the double-tier plastic box. He could smell the Octodogs inside, and it was making drool pool inside his mouth.

Sasuke already finished eating, and currently there wasn't much to talk about as he idled himself with social media feeds.

"Hey," Naruto called.

"Hn?"

"Do you know Amaichi-senpai from Class 3-A?"

Sasuke contemplated the name for a minute. "Oh yeah. She goes by umaiama."

"She's really cute."

"Hn, I guess."

"What do you think of her skits?"

"I don't know. I might've watched one but I don't remember it."

"Check out her account again then! Geez!"

"Why're you getting bent out over a senpai you've never talked to?"

"I've chatted her up a few times, actually."

"Really? Didn't think she'd be your type."

"Why's that?! She's creative, she's ambitious--"

"If you say so."

"She's so, so different from the other girls."

"So you're saying you're done with fellow sluts, is that it?"

"Well, not exactly… Yeah, on the surface she's like, adorkable, right? And a little weird but in a good way."

"Pretty sure that's just her persona."

"We'll see."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm gonna ask if I can collab with her. On her secret account."

The look Sasuke gave him, as if he'd just been lead by the nose for miles and miles only to wind up back at the beginning.

"So she's actually a slut too, just a different flavor."

"Hell yeaaaah! I'm exploring new territory, my dude. It's Manifest Destiny all over again! I'm sticking my dick in every new plot o--OW!" Naruto clutched his head, his eyes watering as he looked up. Up into the cold, menacing green gaze of Haruno Sakura, her upper lip pulled back she just took a huge whiff of fermented dumpster juice. "What the fuck?! We're having a conversation here!"

"This is the cafeteria, you degenerate! Nobody wants to hear that crap! Look around you!"

Naruto clicked his tongue as he did just as Sakura said, but the moment he spotted Hinata behind her, he cancelled that action and threw his fists up in the air, startling Sakura. "Hinata! You're here! OW!"

"You nearly hit me, idiot!" Sakura fumed as she palmed her face and drew in deep, heated breaths. She shook her head and held her chin high as she strutted around the table, taking a seat opposite of Sasuke.

Hinata and Ino followed suit, with Hinata firmly in the middle between the two girls.

This was… weird.

Wait.

He watched as Hinata began to unbundle her bento. Her movements were slow, and not in a deliberate way. Her eyes seemed permanently downcast, her head hanging slightly with a burden inside her mind.

He couldn't even think about food right now.

"Hinata, what's wrong?"

Her face strains against the emotions building up inside her.

He reaches out and grasps her hand.

She blinks rapidly but at least it looks like some light has returned, as if he'd awakened her from something awful.

"Hanabi wants me to come get her. I have to go back to where I grew up. I probably won't remember anything, but I'm still worried that I might."

"Okay. So let's go together. I've always been like your emotional support animal, right?" he said, flashing her his biggest grin. "Remember when you were eight and you were too scared to walk down to the nearest convenience store to pick up eggs?"

She smiled shyly at the memory, her expression radiating fondness. "Yeah. You told the cashier we were doing a skit and they were going to help 'or else'. Then you coached me on the rest, and we left with eggs and candy."

"It's just going to be like that, okay? You got this."

That last bit be super rushed imo. 😅 Also the insta-girl crush subplot had a purpose, but it's a stupid purpose now and I'm definitely scrapping it.

Double-tagging: @dayseternal-blog @chloelapomme and tagging @powerful-niya @peppercornpress

hello give me a taste of what you’re working on i am craving SNEAK PEEKS!!!

this is my submission for kunoichi week and is also a bit of a follow-up to swapped

“So, you mean to tell me that my apprentice is married?”

“Not—not exactly, shishou,” Sakura answered, ducking her head to hide from Tsunade’s penetrating stare.

“But there was a wedding,” she said. The three ANBU agents standing before her winced.

“Yes, Hokage-sama,” Tenten answered. Sakura had to give her credit where credit was due, they may have all been shitting themselves, but Tenten’s voice was strong.

“And Sakura was in the wedding,” Tsunade continued.

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“As the bride.”

pls indulge me @murd3rm1ttens @snickiebear @nekophiliaff @uchihasass @mrssakurahatake

[samstar1990]

The Thorn beneath the Rose

I have not written a VNC fic before so I hope you enjoy it xx

Several disappearances in Paris now have Paris’ greatest detectives on the case. Unfortunately, the greats are also having an argument. But that shouldn’t get in the way of helping others right?

Chapter 2 here

               Have you ever had a fury deep within you? A fire that scorched your insides and the only way to get it out was to open your mouth and spit fire at someone else? Then they end up stocking the flames instead of cooling them down? That was how Noe felt.

One foot quickly followed the other as he stomped through the streets of Paris completely enveloped in his angry haze, that he scarcely noticed the Parisians as they dived out of the vampires way. Eventually the man’s internal thought process violent exploded in a large shout upwards and a punch connecting to the nearby wall.

“Ah, why on earth was I cursed to follow that dim-witted, narrow-minded human idiot!” Noe yelled releasing all his fire from the bottom of his stomach “couldn’t just let me be correct for once, the stubborn fool will get himself killed!”

He near roared before panting heavily. Passer-by shoppers had stopped and were whispering to one another about the strange tanned male and his seemingly animalistic behaviour. Even in his anger, a small fleck of embarrassment seeped in. Maybe the middle of the street was not the best place to get something off his chest. Flushing and clearing his throat, the Archiviste wandered down a nearby alleyway to recollect himself.

               In the cooling shade of the alleyway, he tried to think a little more clearly and collect the memory he needed for this particular moment. Vanitas and himself may have argued and were now on bad terms but both had a job to do. That morning as the two bickered, they had received a letter concerning recent disappearances in the area.

Several vampires had disappeared over the course of the last few months. Relatives noted odd and even violent behaviour in the individuals before they had vanished completely. Vanitas was insistent on a lead he had but refused to share, so Noe was left wandering around unsure what to do and screaming to himself. Domi would be upset with him for sure…

He hoped Vanitas was at least having a better time than him.

Technically he was.

But he was also standing by a morgue table looking over the twisted remains of a vampire man. The raven hair male hummed to himself raising a hand to his lips.

“Why hasn’t the body turned to ash yet?”

               Vanitas had arrived a few moment earlier asking for any clothing related to recent vampiric deaths. Mysterious as he was it seemed Vanitas also had people who owed him favours. People whose job it was to keep this kind of accident under lock and key. Imagine the teenager’s surprise when he was told the latest vampire was still whole.

And it was the latest victim to have gone missing.

“Was there anything on the body to suggest a cause of death?”

The worker nearby looked at him with a weird look before thinking over the question.

“I haven’t touched it, you don’t traditionally get autopsies on Vampires and I am certain to moment I touch it with a knife it’s gonna crumble” The man muttered to himself “But looking at the body, his nails are blunt and a little bloody and his neck is scratched up”

Vanitas looked over the nails. They seemed brittle and had crumbled away as if lacking nutrients, and the man’s neck did appear to have faint pink mark around it like he had scratched at his neck.

“He starved to death?”

“It would appear so…there are also the bite marks on his arms” The worker pointed to several puncture wounds along his arm all angled in a way that suggested the victim had bitten himself repeatedly.

“The man was starving to death but instead of getting food like a normal person, he ran away and tried to drink himself?”

“It was insanity clearly, everyone knows drinking your own blood won’t destroy the bloodlust and only makes you throw up. He was sick in all sense of the word”

The self-appointed doctor hummed to himself. What could it be? A virus? Charlatan? If he didn’t figure it out quickly, only more bodies would turn up, right? So he needed to somehow test the body and figure out what was afflicting it…

Suddenly a cracking sound captured the two men’s attention. Turning back to the table, the cracking continued until the whole body crumbled before them.

“Oh, shit…now I have to clean this up and come up with a reason why a body is missing again!”

Vanitas wandered over to the table and looked over the remains as if hoping they would spell it out but instead all he was left with was a bad feeling in his stomach. “I can probably help you out there….I can get rid of the processions for you”

Knowing Vanitas’ mind the other was suspicious “Fine…but the stuff better not end up on some market stall”

Vanitas laughed but internally made no promises. But this was a lead, now he wouldn’t look like he was just trying to avoid Noe because of a stupid argument. Because he definitely wasn’t doing that.

               Noe, on the other hand, had wandered into an unfamiliar backstreet lined with small shops selling knickknacks and weird remedies. The sights and sounds were intriguing and the man became lost to his own childish nature. Everything was so new and exciting, he almost felt like he needed to thank the other for being such a bonehead or he may have never found so many cute things and tiny cafes. He had to bring Domi here some time; she would love a hidey hole from society as much as him. He wandered from one side of the street to the other determined to discover if the café would provide him with his favourites. Then he would chalk this moment up to fate.

“Watch where you are walking!” Venom spit from the mouth of a young woman as they collided in the middle of the road. Noe caught her out of instinct but when he went to apologise he became struck dumb.

The woman was pale as a sheet, her hair and clothes were ruffled as if in some form of struggle but the most alarming part was a small smear of blood on her lips.

“What are you staring at?” She hissed, fangs baring a little.

“M-mam? You have something on your lips” Noe was unsure how to react and in all honesty, a little frightened by the woman. She seemed incredibly unhinged and was let her vampire sideshow even around the crowded human streets. She faltered a moment before wiping her lip and staring at the finger entranced by the red smudge. Without grace, she stuck the finger in her mouth and seemed to collapse in a weird utopian glow. Now the tanned male was the only thing supporting her frame, and her unladylike appearance was causing him to flush.

“M-mam?” He asked again. This snapped the woman back to reality and she lashed out catching Noe’s cheek. He recoiled

“I won’t… let you have it….It’s mine!”

Before the other could react, she had jumped to her feet and was running off down the street. Suddenly stuck in thought, Noe found something occurred to him.

“Violent behaviour? Potential victim maybe?”

Noe found his eyes going across the road to where he had seen the woman come from out of the corner of his eye. The only thing there was a corner shop; yellow wooden windows with an awning over the top of fresh produce lining the walls outside. A simple florist selling large bouquets. The vampire came closer with curiosity, how could a flower shop cause a woman to react so strangely? If it was involved at all. In front of the door was a board containing some special offers on different blooms as well as some form of service involving aromatherapy.

“Using scents to calm the mind and body..” He read aloud “Hmmm like how some flowers affect animals?”

“Exactly!” a small voice called causing the man to jump and turn to see a young woman stood there smiling.

               The woman came up to Noe’s shoulder, with brunette curls pinned back and around her neck with gentle blue eyes. After getting over the shock of how she got so close he smiled.

“So it works the same way with people too?” he asked before his eyes drifted to her neck where there seemed to be sore skin hidden beneath her hair. He frowned, usually this meant she had been bitten. “Perhaps… even on fanged things?”

The woman’s smile faltered and then became knowing “If one has a trouble keeping hunger under wraps…I am able to help” she pushed open the door hitting the bell and causing a ding noise “We can talk more inside though”

So he was right, she was a vampire.

               Inside the shop was small with a counter near the back dividing the room from a staircase. The woman had already made it to the counter and had brought a book onto the table.

“So my name is Marie, I am an upcoming expert in aroma theory. Now the therapy is in early stages so no guarantee on results” She mused opening up the pages as Noe approached her. Marie was very shy and excited in her manner and Noe couldn’t help but smile, even if this is a dead end lead he can’t say today didn’t have it perks.

The book in front of her appeared to be a guest book of sorts. She turned it to him and asked him to sign. “It has had a wonderful effect on vampire urges helping our kind integrated with human society I am so happy” Her enthusiasm was adorable.

“How about anger issues…I’m um…currently very mad at a friend and it is interfering with work”

There was a pause

“Well it has calming effects so I would assume it would work just as well” Marie pointed to the book attempting to prompt him and his face dropped.

There were only a few names on this page but every single one had appeared on the letter he and Vanitas had received that morning. All bar one; a female name, and Noe was absolutely certain it belonged to the woman who had left the shop. This shop was a connection between all the victims perhaps even. Marie narrowed her eyes.

“Is something the matter sir” It came out more as a command than a question.

“Oh erm…I know…” he panicked a little, and pointed to a name in the book “Mathieu…he was a close friend.” He swallowed regaining his form “But he went missing, everyone has been worried”

The woman seemed suspicious “And what work are you doing in the area”

“Erm well…socialite work…” He muttered “ Just looking into some old scholars living in the area”

Noe tried his best to keep a straight face but there was something about the attitude Marie was taking with him. Now he was certain he had stumbled across one of the most important clues to this case.

And he had done it before Vanitas!

               Vani sneezed and grumbled. Safely making it back to the hotel, he was hoping to rub his find in Noe’s face and the rude ass couldn’t even be back in the hotel room to listen to his gloating. Oh well if anything this meant he could actually turn his clue into a useful clue. He seriously contemplated actually doing his job, but instead, he found himself concentrating on how to dramatically scold the other when he finally came back to the room.

“Ha, and where have YOU been?” he got up and dramatically pointed at the empty doorway. He then stopped and hummed “No…too…flouncy….”

He had been attempting the perfect pose and line for the last ten minutes and had enough options to choose from, it was now just a case of narrowing it down. He sighed and leant on the table.

“Maybe I am thinking about this the wrong way…” He mumbled to himself before something caught his eye. A small business card was poking out of the breast pocket of the victim’s jacket. “Hello…”

Nibble fingers made quick work of slicing the card from the pocket and straightening it out. On one side was the image of a large arrangement of flowers, when he turned it over on the other was a neatly written message.

‘You are to no longer come to me- M’

“hmmm…guess this takes virus off the table…for now”

What was he meant to do with this though? It was a lead but it was tiny, too tiny to take him anywhere. But if anything this meant someone was leading the disappearances. But why?

“Ah! Noe, get back here so I can show you how wrong you are!”

               The room above the flower shop was a small living area, nothing too fancy but was clearly where the owner lived. In one corner a large grandfather clock supplied a constant ticking noise as Noe sat on a large sofa across from Marie as she poured herbal tea into a china tea set. It was a little awkward at the moment, Noe was unsure what was about to happen especially since Marie had invited him upstairs for a trial treatment. It was clearly for privacy, he kept telling himself.

“So Vanitas huh? What an unfortunate name” She smiled pushing the cup towards him. Noe picked it up and laughed a little.

“Yes…My parents have a horrible sense of humour”

Vanitas was going to kill him. When she got suspicious, he grew weary of signing his name on the book and the first name that came to him was Vani. Damn that man! Noe gingerly sipped from the cup, he had never tasted a herbal mix before so this was an interesting experience none the less. Marie smiled and rose to light small candles around the room.

“Well Vanitas, I will let you know how this will work. I will introduce some scents through candles and oils” She lit several candles of different sizes, and near instantly Noe felt the smells mix. It was so strong he couldn’t understand how this could be relaxing to anyone.

“So I just sit here and smell?”

Marie laughed and gracefully walked over to a gramophone. “We also play music so it creates a whole new atmosphere”

“So um” It was now or never to ask “I was wondering if any of your clients have been acting weird?”

Marie hesitated a moment before walking back to the table this time to light a candle near to Noe.

“Not that I know of… why would you ask such a question?”

“Oh sorry…my friend was acting weird, so I wanted to make sure no one was harassing…you” Was that convincing? Oh, he hoped so.

Marie laughed and sat on the arm of the chair looming over the male. Noe swallowed through his nerves.

“You are cute Vanitas…but I don’t think that’s your real name”

Noe went to retort when she pushed her lips to his and forced her tongue to enter his mouth. Something broke and then a metal taste spread over his tongue and down his throat.

               Noe managed to push the woman away but he was forced to swallow the liquid.

“Blood?” He asked looking up at Marie and she chuckled and walked over to the window. Suddenly he was aware coming alone anywhere was a horrific idea and he had to escape. He pushed himself to his feet as he began to feel the strange warmth within him. Marie turned back around, a deep glow to her eyes.

He felt transfixed to them.

“I know you are not here for therapy” She hummed “But I have been looking for a new pet”

“Pet?” He coughed finding his throat had become unbearable dry very quickly. Whatever he had drunk it wasn’t normal. The woman laughed again, taking great pleasure in the confusion on the man’s face.

“So ‘Vani’, did you know my clan was cursed far more than any other clan?” She asked watching Noe support himself as he tried to make his way across the room. “ Most vampires have poison in their fangs to help make the act of drawing blood more…pleasurable. But mine has no poison in them. When I draw blood…the pain itself is enough to kill a human”

“S-sorry to hear that” He tried to mock but his voice was caught. He looked over to the door, it felt so far away in that moment. He had to escape. Had to find Vanitas.

“But in exchange, I was given something much more useful” Marie removed a broach from her person and brought it to her palm. The point of the pin broke the skin easily. The moment it did, Noe felt his senses go into overdrive; the aroma of her blood overpowered everything in the area. His mouth watered and it was like a haze was seeping over him. “The poison is in my blood instead…and it makes it irresistible to Vampires”

Noe was shocked as everything fell into place “The people who went missing…their behaviour”

“All puppets dancing to please me and to taste my blood”

“Well, I won’t be won over that easy!” Noe was defiant as he attempted to fight against the pull the blood was trying to have on him. The scent that enveloped him was addictive, slowly he found his thoughts began to imagine where the taste must be. Catching himself the vampire found he had moved towards the woman. Her smile turning demonic. Turning away, Noe tried to think of the people he cared for, tried to recall the taste of Domi’s blood. His dearest friend, he only needed her blood…and maybe…

But when he tried to recall the taste, the scent of Marie’s blood replaced it. He couldn’t lose to this and in the last attempt tried to picture something he cared about, something that would help him hold onto his sanity.

Vanitas crept into his memory. His smile was gentle, very unlike him yet it was a nice thing to see. Noe wasn’t completely sure how to react to the image but it was comforting if only for a few moments. Slowly the human faded into the mist and his dream world mixed into reality pulling back like a curtain to reveal Marie with her outstretched hand.

In that moment he could only register one thing. He was so thirsty, he had never felt a thirst like it, and the more he denied it, the more his brain felt like it was itching. The itch got worse and worse. He wiped his mouth and stared at the open wound on the woman’s hand.

“Go on…take it” She smiled and Noe felt an overwhelming feeling of warmth. One step, two step. He had to try and fight it but the itch was too great.

The taste of the ruby was soothing and overcame him before he could stop it.