#fen gives advice

[mrfenman]

Mr. Fen how do I manage my finances....

Hmm... 🤔

Very simple! Deposit pets into the Fen bank!

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

With his romance with Lavellan, Solas learned a horrific truth—that him simply as a humble man was enough to be lovable. He had been plied out of the Fade by Mythal because of her need for him, and out of devotion, he became something more and dreadful for himself, for her. And she never reciprocated that devotion with the same intensity. He spent millennia fighting for her as a thing he detested—a man of war and death, a being whose mortal body imbued him with innate qualities and emotions that would further twist his Wisdom nature. He was producing the very poisons that would normally corrupt a spirit by virtue of [Being a Person]. The external influences now harbored inside him.

But Lavellan showed him. That being you are, the one that wished to ponder and reminisce of spirits, who valued liberty and freedom and knowledge and the wry observation? That was enough. That was always enough. But he can’t accept it, because millennia of being Fen Harel, being devoted to Mythal and her cause.. to sunder it from himself would feel like a magnificent loss. He has been that for so long, is there anything yet truly left of the Wisdom spirit that once was?

Not only that, but given corporeality, Solas is compelled by the operant [If I can, I must]. He CAN do something about the Veil, so he will. If he doesn’t, then he is forsaking the memory of he destroyed with his choice. He is forsaking his own principles. To do nothing in the face of injustice and cruelty is a sin he cannot bear.

He comes to the Inquisition as a “humble apostate”, both as disguise and because in his de-powered state he is of little greater use (if he had greater power I’m certain he would have nudged the Inquisition toward their goals). This is a costume he is wearing, or so he tells himself. He exists to advise, to suggest, to subtly direct toward more peaceful and humanitarian and spirit-friendly directives. He operates as his former [Wisdom] spirit state.

And Lavellan grows to love it, to appreciate it. She grows to appreciate [Solas as Wisdom]. That part of him, the part of him that he has put aside for thousands upon thousands of years, though his nature craves to return to it. Without his ability to be Fen’Harel, it is pretty much all he has. And oh, this mayfly mortal born of a “forsaken ignorant people”, she is drawn to him, seeing him as a [man], seeing him at his (comparatively) weakest, most ineffectual state and finding it pleasing. Desirable. [Enough].

Enough. He is enough as Solas, simply Solas. But if it is enough for Lavellan, why was it not enough for Mythal? No, no, there was a reason. There was a war. War requires more of people. It requires limits to be broken and terrible mantles to be donned.

But Lavellan is fighting an existential war against Corypheus. And she does not demand more of him. She values what little he is able to provide—guidance, insight, his magic. It is [Enough].

We Solavellans have dissected and discussed at length about the nature of the relationship being one built on deceit, the moral and ethical quandary of love cultivated under a false identity. Veilguard has confirmed the existential struggle and quiet agony that Solas experienced by transitioning into [Being]. While Lavellan should of course had been informed of his ‘true identity’ before falling in love with him, an argument could still be made that Fen’Harel is not his true identity but a long-worn mask that he wishes he could ditch. The man Lavellan fell in love with is who he should be, who he wants to be. Far more underpowered than he’s comfortable with, sure, but the personality for certain. Just a person giving advice, discussing at length about topics he enioys, exploring memories and ruminating over them, smirking over small verbal sleights of hand and sly tricks, engaging in philosophical debates. All of that is already there, that is who he is in peacetime. The man has known war and conflict for so long that he has mentally split Solas and Fen’Harel as two people, because he needed to, but they are the same. Solas who wields the martial prowess of Fen’Harel. Fen’Harel who possesses the wry levity and artistic sentimentality of Solas. SOLAS YOU ARE BOTH AND MORE THAN THESE TWO HALVES.

[she-whatshername]

MORE Tyrrish Men Headcanons you didn't ask for (now with 30% more Garrick)

I was excited to see my last post on this was so popular so here is more. Also a disclaimer: I made all of these up as there is very little information on these characters. They are all Facts in my head...but questionable IRL, haha

Garrick is 100% wingman first and right after that is ladies man, mares in the stable and all that. He knows he's attractive, is a show off about it, and has had many lovers because of it. Relationships, probably none, but countless of trysts and 1 nighters

I think thats probably why he's so on-and-off with Imogen. I think he's ten toes down in love with her, and I think love scares him because love makes you do foolish things (he's watched his parents die for their country and Xaden be...Xaden, to be cautious of giving his heart to someone)

With his father's job being Fen's aid, Garrick is ultra perceptive, loyal, and hella charismatic. When Xaden says that Cat wasn't his first 'by a long shot' It was 100% due to him being around Garrick.

Could you image those two out on campus or in Cordyn before Xaden met Violet The backs hearts these two must of broke...

Should his S/O be in a relationship with him, they'd have to prepare for his quips and gawks at other people, I think his rizz level is so high he couldn't help himself

But, he's so so loyal. He will know everything about you due to how observant he is and will never miss a birthday, solstice, equinox, anniversary, you name it.

Probably has the most thoughtful dates; they are few and far between during his schedule but makes it happen. I imagine he's a bit more long distance (the revolution/being there for Xaden comes first) but when its 1:1 time with his partner, he's 100% giving you his time.

I be he has an excellent mental calendar

Also, he's the BEST person to come to if you need to vent. He will listen and wait until you're done to ask questions/respond. I think a lot of people go to him before going to Xaden so he gives really good advice/leadership.

Maybe a lil spice for this thread but his familial ties to supporting and aiding royalty he enjoys the role power he has as an XO and right hand to the revolution...but I do think he likes being told what to do behind closed doors. When his partner finds this out. Its over Gare.

Did i mention SO. LOYAL. He wouldn't have a who hurt you moment he would totally be that person that would take care of the problem secretly before they could even hurt you. Like your bully/nemeses is suddenly nice to you or randomly apologizes, go thank Garrick for that.

All Tyrrish men have giant sweet tooths, Garrick being the largest (Again, I explore this theory in humorous detail in 'Drifted')

Again, no facts to back this up but I bet he's a good dancer and has dragged just about everyone up on a table at one point to sing a Tyrrish song

He supplies the churam for the group. The man has connections.

Should I do Xaden next?

[tomtenadia]

Serve you my heart

Here I am with a silly fic based on the following prompt:

thegreyj asked: 

Fenrys giving Rowan advice on how to start a conversation with someone he likes

Fen: "Ask her something, get to know her!"

Ro: "Like what?"

Fen: "Ask her if she likes books."

Later Rowan tries to follow the advice. Only he ends up staring at Aelin for a minute before just blurting out "Books."

@rowaelinprompts

When I saw it I knew I had to write something with it. I wrote this in an hour. it's a quick 1.4k word fic and I hope you like it.

It has an awkward Rowan who has a crush on Aelin and yes... I love a flustered bird boy.

The title is silly and as you know I am bad at it but since it has a mention of volleyball (a sport I love with all my heart) I tried to play with words.

Enjoy

-----

Rowan felt like a teenager. He was in his thirty but when Aelin Galathynius was around his brain just stopped working. He would just turn into a blubbering idiot and would quickly walk away to avoid passing for an idiot. By now she probably thought that he hated her.

He worked in a high school as biology teacher. Aelin was the new English teacher and she was the sun in his dreary life. Her hair blonde like the sun, her eyes a gorgeous blue with a ring of gold. And her curves. Rowan had to force himself not to think about her body or he would just combust on the spot. Surely it was not proper having such thoughts about a colleague, but he could not deny that he was interested in her. Speaking to his other colleagues he had heard nothing but good things about her and he wanted to try and have a proper conversation with her.

Truth was… he was not the greatest communicator when it came to women. He had  a few relationships, but most of the times the women threw themselves at him. This time he wanted to make the first step and he was terrified.

So, after assigning homework to his class he decided to go to the only man who had a stellar success with women.

His friend Fenrys was the coach of the volleyball team and always surrounded by females. Maybe he could have some insight from him and get Aelin’s attention.

With long strides he crossed the school halls and eventually reached the gym and inside he saw his friend wrapping up practice.

“Roro, my friend. What brings you down here?” He threw a ball at his friend and Rowan caught it swiftly.

A moment later Fenrys moved to the other side of the net and nodded at the other man as if in saying bring it on. Fen assumed a defensive position and Rowan walked towards the end line and prepared to serve. He bounced the ball a few times and then leapt in a run and jumped, spiking the ball with a loud crack.

Fenrys was ready but Rowan had thrown him one of his famous serves that ended in an ace.

“Are you sure you still want to teach biology to these hellions?”

Rowan walked to his friend “Aye, my ACL is not very keen on the sport anymore.”

Rowan had been a volleyball player and after uni he had gone pro for a couple of years. But then during a game he injured his ACL and that was it for him, so he had gone into teaching biology. His second passion after volleyball.

“So, how can I help?”

The two men sat on the benches court side.

“I need help.”

“Ro my man, there’s still hope for you. You are not on Lorcan’s levels yet.”

Rowan glared at his friend “lady problems.”

Fenrys face broke in a bright smile “well, you came to the very expert. Women love me.”

They were both silent while Rowan tried to formulate the question in his head. Fenrys was always confident. He was not.

“So, who is the hottie who has your pants twisted in a knot?”

Rowan muttered something intelligible.

“Hm?”

“Aelin.” He repeated in an almost grunt.

“Ohhh look at you, trying to play with the big league. I don’t think she has good taste though. She rejected me.”

Rowan was shocked “you hit on her?”

Fenrys scoffed “Hell yes, I wanted to offer her the Moonbeam welcome pack but she declined.”

A deep groan left Rowan’s lips at the innuendo.

“Have you talked to her?”

“No? I freeze when she is around. By now she thinks I am a psychopath.”

“Nah, don’t degrade yourself like that. You are just bad with women.”

“How can I talk to her?”

Fenrys tapped his lips with his finger in a pensive motion “Ask her about something she likes.”

A blank stare was Rowan’s reply.

“She is an English teacher, which means that maybe she likes books? Ask her about the books she likes,” he explained “you are a boring bookworm too, she might well be the woman for you.”

Books. Rowan mentally slapped himself for not having thought about that before. That was a conversation he could have. He loved reading too.

“Ok… that I think I can do.”

“Go Rowie, and get some. Rowan junior needs action.”

Rowan waved at his friend and walked out of the gym and back in his office to mull over his plan to try and talk to Aelin.

A few days had passed and Rowan had studied Aelin’s schedule and knew that on a Wednesday she had a break long enough between classes that she loved to take a moment to herself and go outside and sit on a bench under the trees and read. It was the perfect location, away enough from other teacher to hide his shame if she shut him down.

It was a warm day and he strolled through the school yard in his blu shirt with sleeves rolled up and a book in his hand. When he got to the bench Aelin was there and he paused. She had a gorgeous summery green dress on and a green ribbon around her long blonde hair. All Rowan could think was that she was stunning. She was reading and he felt like a bastard for interrupting her, but he wanted to talk to Aelin really badly.

He forced his body to move and then stopped I front of her.

Blue eyes looked up at him in surprise “do you need anything?”

Rowan tried to speak but words failed him “I…”

Come on big man, you can do it, one word after the other “Books.” He eventually blurted out pointing out at the book she was holding in a perfect imitation of a caveman.

“Yes, this is a book.” The smile that she gave him had the power to melt him. How was it that this woman had such power over him?

“Book,” he repeated, lifting his “I have a book too.” Gods he was pathetic. Why did he listen to Fen? Someone gave him a shovel and help him dug his grave because he was dying of embarrassment.

“You like fantasy too?” She added, noticing the book he was carrying.

Rowan grabbed the book under his arm and stared at the title. He always had at least two in his backpack and he had just grabbed a random one to try and impress her.

“I do.”

“I read that. It’s really good. How are you finding it so far?”

It was working, she was talking to him “I am enjoying it very much, I find the world building pretty incredible.”

Aelin gave him a bright smile “the author is incredibly skilled at that. What about the characters?”

He sat on the bench at her side, feeling a sudden surge of courage “I am struggling with Celaena. Hope she gets better.”

Aelin gave him a warm laugh and Rowan stared at her in fascination “she will steal your heart soon. Give her time.”

“I trust you,” he said quietly.

“I am Aelin, I teach English.” A hand extended in from of her.

“Rowan, biology.”

“I know,” a soft confession “I have been wondering when you were going to find the courage to finally talk to me.”

Rowan’s mouth fell open in disbelief.

“I saw you many times walking towards me and then stopping and retreating.” Another beautiful smile “Looks like the captain of the Orynth Hawks is not as fierce with women as he is on the volleyball court?”

“I…” and the stuttering was back.

Aelin stood “I watched a lot of your games, captain.”

Rowan looked up. His gaze followed her perfect legs all the way up to her stunning face.

She made a move to walk away but he stopped, his hand gently grabbing hers “tickets.” He cleared his gruff voice “I have tickets for the next game. Come with me and then we can go and hit a bookstore.”

Aelin squeezed his hand back “who says that the icy captain does not know how to woo women?”

Rowan stared at her with apprehension.

“Of course I am coming, Whitethorn.” One second her lips were on his cheek, the next she was walking away with her head turned to him and a beautiful smile painted on her face.

He was taking Aelin to a volleyball game of his old team and then a bookstore.

He did it.

Definitely had to find a way to set up women to one of the pro women’s team as a thank you for his pep talk.

He fist pumped the air and with a spring in his step went back to his office with the biggest smile stamped on his face.

taglist

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @whimsicallyreading @elentiyawhitethorn @aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity  @mis-lil-red @thegreyj @sailorsassley @leiawritesstories @clairec79 @morganofthewildfire @sv0430 @heartless--aromantic @autumnbabylon @rowanaelinn @backtobl4ck @susumaus98  @gracie-rosee @mybloodrunsblue @tanvee1231 @avenrebekah @whoever-you-choose-to-love  @theywillnotsingforme @universallytreepost @black-daisy-water @goddess-aelin @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @lovely-dove-zee @athena127

[stone-stars]

songs in c3e67: cyra (timestamps from the ad-free version. does not include the generic combat music. “a wizard’s tournament” is the recap song.)

Shadowfell - 14:05

In the Dark of Dusk - 19:53

Spearmint & Tea Leaves - 21:18

The Prodigal Sister - 25:39

The Fairy - 30:46

Frankie Vantasmo - 35:48

Doppelgangers - 39:02

Deadeye - 42:54, 45:14, and 47:01

A Friend for Life - 51:53

The Multiverse - 54:35, 55:10, 56:38, 1:00:21, and 1:00:59

Ode to the Archipelago - 1:04:07 and 1:08:23

A Memory - 1:09:29

When You Wish Upon a Stone - 1:13:25 (loops)

The Red Fen - 1:17:49

Deadeye - 1:19:41

Melora's Boon - 1:21:38, 1:23:05, and 1:24:52

The Purge - 1:26:05 (loops)

The Posse - 1:34:54

Unknown Tome - 1:39:45

Mee Maw's Burden - 1:50:08 and 1:52:40

A Fate Refused - 1:56:53

context for each song + notes under the cut!

Shadowfell - 14:05 - Going to find Cyra / Spotting her

In the Dark of Dusk - 19:53 - Cyra tells Callie her plan

Spearmint & Tea Leaves - 21:18 - Callie tells Cyra she loved her and was jealous of her / Cyra admits she was jealous of Callie and knew about their mom's ability

The Prodigal Sister - 25:39 - "Was it easier when I cried?" / Callie talks about their mom's execution / Cyra talks about calming young Callie / They hug

The Fairy - 30:46 - Callie calls Calder + Sol over to meet Cyra

Frankie Vantasmo - 35:48 - Cyra says Jovyre's courts have been after her

Doppelgangers - 39:02 - Cyra says Jovyre needs to die to take the crown

Deadeye - 42:54, 45:14, and 47:01 - Cyra explains her plan / Discussing it

A Friend for Life - 51:53 - Callie asks Cyra to fix her hair

The Multiverse - 54:35 and 55:10 - The ritual to talk to Swag

The Multiverse - 56:38 - Swag shows them the Great Hall's layout

The Multiverse - 1:00:21 and 1:00:59 - Exiting the swamp / Swag gives Sol dating advice

Ode to the Archipelago - 1:04:07 - Making dinner (searching for vampire eggs)

Ode to the Archipelago - 1:08:23 - Cyra makes food

A Memory - 1:09:29 - Cyra tells them how she made her crown

When You Wish Upon a Stone - 1:13:25 (loops) - Marigold comes down to meet them

The Red Fen - 1:17:49 - Flying around the Shadowfell / Vampires

Deadeye - 1:19:41 - Discussing the plan

Melora's Boon - 1:21:38 - Cyra says she's glad they're here

Melora's Boon - 1:23:05 - Cyra joins Duck Team (track jacket)

Melora's Boon - 1:24:52 - Preparing to Plane Shift

The Purge - 1:26:05 (loops) - Cyra and Marigold disappear / Forcecage + Fatebringer mages

The Posse - 1:34:54 - Sol frightens the Fatebringer mages

Unknown Tome - 1:39:45 - 6 fireballs

Mee Maw's Burden - 1:50:08 - Callie and Calder drop / Kenna and Sol prepare to heal them

Mee Maw's Burden - 1:52:40 - Calder nat 1 death save

A Fate Refused - 1:56:53 - Duck Team start to flee / jump into the water

Different Credits: "In the Dark of Dusk" is credited as "In the Dark of Dust" / "The Fairy" is credited as "Cable Car Ride" / "When You Wish Upon a Stone" is credited as "Alanis" / "Melora's Boon" is credited as "Fabric of Fate"

[jpitha]

Yet Another Writing Advice Post

I'm about to type about some stuff about writing. It's pretty Meta and feel free to skip this one if you're waiting for more about Gord and Fen, that's coming soon. It's not for anyone specifically, it's for me mostly, but you might get something out of it too.

As a writer - especially as an amateur writer who eventually wants to get paid for writing - one of the things I struggle with is what am I writing for? Is it just for me? Is it for my readers? Is it for sale?

Lots of writing advice for newbies boils down to "write the things you want to read, do it your way, fuck the haters."

This is good.

I mean it. It's going to sounds like I don't agree with it, so I'm saying right here off the jump, if you're just starting out, this is an unalloyed good. Write what you want how you want.

But.

If you want to write things that other people will read - not even writing things that people will pay you for - you also need to expand your skills. You should get better at writing. So as to not waste your readers time, but also so that you're better able to translate what's in your head into words on a screen/page so that others can see the cool as fuck things you thought up.

The only way to get good at something is to be bad at it for a long time.

It's hard for me to remember this. Every expert that you see, every skilled creation you come across was made by a person who did piles and piles and piles of terrible art first. I hate this! I don't want to suck, I never want that.

That does not make it untrue however.

I am a mediocre writer.

I am not saying this to fish for compliments, or to get positive reinforcement. It's the truth. I am trying every day to get better - and I am getting better! It's one of the reasons I like rewriting my old stuff. But, me assuming I am A Good Writer Now is pure hubris.

In an attempt to get better, I joined an online writing group. (I don't think anyone from there reads this Tumblr, but if they do, Hi!) Everyone in that group is skilled, probably more skilled than me. That's normal and to be expected. Everyone is good about offering crits and nobody is mean, but also it's not a hugbox. We're all there to get better and write.

Last week I put more effort into an entry than I think I have ever done. I spent real time on it, worked methodically, had a plan, even sought out folks to beta read. Like, I put in the work.

I still didn't win.

The winning entry was one that was almost utterly opaque to me. It wasn't "well that's not for me, but I can see how they'd win," it was pure "I don't like this and I don't understand why they'd win, and yet, here we are"

Why do I mention this?

Well, for one, I'm disappointed that I didn't win. The judges did give me crits on my entry, which was nice, but it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. This is also fine, change takes time. But additionally the things they didn't like were things that I added on purpose. It's important to remember when receiving crits that you don't have to change what you do. It's just like, their opinion man. Brush off crits at your own peril however. They show what others who read your work expected to find and didn't.

It's normal to be sad that you worked hard on something only to find out it wasn't what the judges wanted to read. It's normal to be bummed to realize you aren't as good as you thought you were, and/or that you still have a long way to go.

But then what?

Do you change what your style? Try and write something that you think will appeal? Do you stick to your guns and say "I know what I like, and I will continue to write what I like?"

In the end, you have to decide why you are writing (or drawing or painting or weaving or whatever.) You have to decide who your audience is.

If it's just you? Keep on keeping on, go nuts! Make art however the hell you want. You are an artist, it's still art, you are legitimate.

If it's someone else? Then yeah, maybe work to drift towards something that the like. There's nothing wrong with a little pandering - to a point.

Is it to sell? Now, we're getting into the meat of things. If you want to make a go at doing this full time and making it a jobbity job, you have to start looking at your craft with a much sharper eye. You have to watch trends, follow bandwagons, do the things that bring eyeballs and wallets. Is it distasteful? It can be. Is it necessary? If you want to make money, yeah, unfortunately it is. Do you have to? Nah, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but do it with clear eyes about your prospects vis a vis the publishing world.

As for me?

I once thought that I could get some books published and make a tidy side income. Now? I'm not so sure. I still have it as a 2024 goal to be published anywhere, but I'm pretty sure that if I do get a book out, it'll be self published. I have friends who have agents and who have traditionally published books and the whole process is hard and depressing and not fun.

[scotianostra]

John Rennie the Elder was born on 7th June 1761

I think when we talk about our civil engineers Rennie sometimes gets overshadowed by the likes of Telford and the Stevensons, but Rennie’s work on canals, aqueducts, bridges and dockyards mark him as one of the greatest engineers of his age.

Rennie was the fourth son of a prosperous farmer on the Phantassie estate near the village of East Linton. He played truant from school to watch what went on at the local millwright’s workshop - run by the celebrated mechanic, Andrew Meikle, the inventor of the threshing machine - and began to work there when he was 12 years old, while continuing his education. He studied at Edinburgh University and then worked for the firm Boulton and Watt.

In 1791, Rennie moved to London and set up his own engineering business. His first works were canals, notably the Lancaster Canal, the Kennet & Avon Canal, and the Royal Military Canal, and also improving the drainage of the Norfolk fens.

Meanwhile Rennie also acquired experience as a bridge designer, using stone and cast iron to produce bridges with daringly wide arches. These included the Lune Aqueduct , Kelso Bridge , Waterloo Bridge, Southwark Bridge and London Bridge, which was completed to Rennie’s design by his son George after his death.

Rennie also worked on the development of docks and harbours for commercial purposes, including Grimsby, Leith and the London Docks . His largest projects were the civil engineering works required as the Royal Navy began to build the infrastructure, including Sheerness Dockyard and the great breakwater at Plymouth . Rennie was also commissioned to give advice on other novel maritime structures, notably steam-powered dredgers, diving bells and the famous Bell Rock lighthouse.

Rennie died, aged 60, after a short illness, at his house in Stamford Street, London, on 4th October 1821, and was buried in St. Paul’s Cathedral.

[demise-doodles]

Fen and Theresa. I love their younger-older sister dynamic. I can imagine Theresa giving lots of advice to Fen since she is her senior.

[linkspooky]

spooky how would you go about writing toji and writing dialougue for him? i'm working on a mini-comic about him and his life after his first wife died and i have no clue how to properly write dialogue for him. it's not that i don't understand his character so much as it is that i don't know how to write him in character tbh whether they like him or not most people in the fandom mischaracterize toji and they strip away all the nuances and complexities in his character which is obviously smth i want to avoid

thank you so much in advance and i really like reading your jjk metas! they always provide great food for thought

Sorry for the late reply Anon, I was waiting for episode two of Hidden Inventory to come out to give some more frame of reference for Toji.

If you want to write Toji in character, the same as Mai it's best to understand how Gege intended to use him in the story. Toji is primarily Megumi's foil, he serves as Megumi's shadow. A shadow archetype is a character made up of everything repressed by another character. We our blind to our faults, so normally the shadow is made up of negative qualities, but it's not all negative qualities. It's what we are unaware of.

Which is why like you said anon, Toji is not an entirely negative character he's one with nuance. The best way to understand him is to compare him with Megumi, because he's in story to highlight certain aspects of Megumi.

Megumi is a Clone of Toji

Maki despite being constantly hyped as the second coming of Toji, doesn't have nearly as much in common as Megumi does with his father. Not only do they look exactly the same, but Megumi suffers from all of his father's flaws for similiar reasons (they were both abandoned by their parents, the chain of abuse with the Zen'in was left unbroken and Toji repeated the cycle).

My general guideline for both characters is what Megumi represses, Toji expresses. In other words, Megumi is an incredibly repressed character who subconsciously limits himself and chains himself down. This is msot shown in Gojo's confrontation with Megumi in origin of obedience, calling him out for being self-sacrificing in nature.

Megumi's self-sarcifice however, veers into self-sabotage territory because he's always comparing himself to the other people around him and finding himself lesser. He doesn't prioritize himself, and that kind of selflessness harms him in the long run. Which leads to Megumi's problems, he coasts on natural talent and doesn't live up to his full potential despite having the one technique that could beat the limitless. For Megumi, the advice "It's okay to be selfish" is actually sorely needed.

Whereas for Toji, he doesn't really need to be told it's okay to be selfish. Toji's defined by his selfishness. If Megumi is restrained and one who "inherited the curse of the Zen'in Family" (in that he's still a product of the Zen'in Family's abuse, because Toji repeated what was done to him, then Toji is referred to as someone who is free.

What exactly does freedom mean in this context though? The freedom to do whatever you want? The freedom to be whoever you want? In the same fight scene against Dagon, Toji is also referred to as a puppet of carnage mindlessly attacking the others around him. Obviously, a puppet isn't "Free" there's a contradiction there, and here's where we start unraveling the nuance that is Toji.

From the perspective of say Maki, Toji is someone who's free, because he's strong enough to do whatever he wants. Maki who equates strength to her way of liberating herself from the Zen'in would obviously look to Toji someone who could have taken on the whole Zen'in singlehandedly, but that's a simplistic view that equates strong = good.

However, when comparing him to Megumi, Megumi's selflessness and Toji's selfishness comes from the same source. They are both entirely lacking in a sense of self. Toji is rejected by his entire clan and eventually thrown out, Megumi is abandoned by his father and forced to fend for himself. Neither of them had parents to raise them into fully developed individuals.

So, Megumi is incredibly childish as a teenager, and Toji is a man-child. A person with no stable sense of self will act unstable, and therefore we get to Toji's behavior.

Toji is the kind of person who kils for money and is incredibly well-paid, and then spends it like jet-fuel blowing it on races and things he doesn't need, and then when he runs out of money he finds a woman to mooch off of. His whole life is unstable, he has no place to belong, no permanent attachment to anyone, he jumps from contract to contract, woman to woman. Now, you could construe that as being free because Toji like I said does whatever he wants. He doesn't limit his beahvior for anyone else.

From what we know after the death of Megumommy, Toji just sort of gave up, he even says so in his own narration "to be proud of neither myself, nor others..." so he is free to choose his path in life but he chooses to be the most despicable person possible.

Which is where you get to why Toji repeats the cycle. Toji is genuienly traumatized, but he almost uses that trauma as an excuse, it's permissive in his case. Permission to do what he wants, he is rejected by his own society and therefore he rejects it in turn. Toji is continually making himself out to be the worst person possible, and part of the reason is rejected by everyone his self-esteem is genuinely that low and he can't see himself as good person or someone capable of any goodness or love towards others. However, when he then acts out that trauma on others, they become a victim of it.

Toji sees himself as someone with no potential, someone incapable of anything good, which is why he never aspires to be better than what happened to him. Considering the Zen'in is a den of toxicity though, it's hard to see him turning out any other way, shutting off all emotions and making himself numb to the world is something he seemed to do for survival. And even Toji cared enough to try to build a life with Megumi's mother, but that dealt the final blow when he lost her. Toji doesn't try anymore, he doesn't aspire to do anything he just revels in the worst of himself.

However, the fact that Toji has to insist that he doesn't care over and over again obviously indicates the fact that he does care. He forgets Meguimi's name, and remembers it on the brink of death. Both of his dying thoughts, when he dies against Gojo, and when he's resurrected temporarily are all about Megumi, his last words to Gojo are telling him of his plan to sell Megumi to the Zen'in and asking him to do whatever he wants.

Megumi and Toji are also very similiar in that aspect too, because Megumi does not think he's a good person. In fact, Megumi's relatoinship with Tsumiki mirrors Toji's relationship with Megumama. With Tsumiki it's always "you're a good person, and I'm not." When he decides to go with Gojo, it's only for Tsumiki's sake.

And finally similiar to Toji we are shown that Megumi's absolute breaking point is the death of Tsumiki. The point where he stops resisting Sukuna's takeover of his body. Neither Megumi or TOji can love themselves, but they are capable of loving others, and when they lose those people they spiral into even worse versions of themselves.

They have extremely negative views of themselves, and because of that they uplift others around them in order to lower their self esteem even further in the comparison.

Toji has a lot of Megumi's good qualities because they're repressed too. At his core Toji is childish and wants to love another person and be loved, but he can't bring himself to do that because he finds himself too broken by his upbringing. Yet, he's also not as bad as he presents himself to us, even his decision to sell Megumi to the Zen'in number one was because he genuinely thought that place would be better, and number two apparently Naobito was going to make Megumi clan head.

Toji is deceptive as a character, because he's deliberately pretending to be a scumbag so he doesn't have to face who he is inside. He just hates himself so he doesn't work hard to improve himself. The Zen'in reject him, so he rejects everyone in return and doesn't live by anyone's standards but his own.

He is free, but in a way it's kind of a child's idea of freedom. He's stronger than anyone, he does what he wants, he spends all his money, he lives incredibly selfishly without caring about other's feelings.

He's also not free, because Toji is too bound by his past. He can't be a loving father because the pain of his past is too much, he can't be good, he can't love his son properly, and he can't be there for him too.

Toji is defined as much as by what he can't do, as what he can do.

Also, for character voice this is some brief advice, but number one Toji is a liar. He pretends to be a much more scummy person than it is, so basically whatever comes out of his mouth he's going to put it in the msot asholeish way possible. Hence, we get stuff like this:

Number two, Toji has a rude way of speaking to others that is once again childish. When Hong starst questioning his plan, and complaing he goes CHHH CHHH YOU'RE BREAKING UP.

Toji's also more intelligent than he lets onto be, he outwitted Gojo and Geto after all the two strongest sorcerers of their generation, by sending in flunkies first to wear them down and then catching Gojo completely offguard. They didn't see him coming whatsoever.

Toji is also a little bit more well-spoken in his internal thoughts than his external dialogue. "I wanted this for self-afirrmation and I deviated from my true self..." is pretty poetic, for a guy who's usual default way of speaking is rude asshole. He even dies with the line "I thought I had set aside such petty pride" like, he's more of a deep thinker than he lets on.

Finally Toji is incredibly flippant, a lot of his dialogue is insisting he doesn't give a shit (spoiler warning: he does). He's the kind of person who can shoot a teenage girl in the back of the head and appear to feel nothing about it, he's that distanced from his own emotions. So, you're going to want to write him to appear completely callous towards others and especially their feelings.

Alright, that's all I got for Toji. I hope that helps you with your comic, anon!

[themarginalthinker]

Hi,

If this is an ask thingy

May I request-

Jen/fen for 7, 9, 15 and 33/34

Tweak for 9, 15 and 33/34

Do whenever you want.

Woof, okay, this is gonna be a little long

Jen and Fenster:

7. What would you/their partner yell in a crowd to find them: For Jen, almost nothing would work lmao. If he doesn't want to talk to someone, you aren't getting within a mile of him, let alone shouting distance. Fen would only get a slightly easier reaction, with his preferred nickname (that Jen did not consent to, mind you,) of 'doughboy', which is British slang for Americans in the trenches, or 'gasper', also WW1 era slang for cigarettes. The second is more common, and one Jen WON'T flay you for using on him.

As for what Jen would call out for Fen, it would probably just be his name, but if he's REALLY close to you and simply talking about Fen, he may refer to him by the nickname 'ol' cattywumpus', but that's very rare.

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love? What love do they prefer to receive: The both of them aren't really one for 'gentle' love, though how that presents is different between them. Despite being turned in only their late 20s, early 30s, they seemed to have taken on two sides of the same grandpa coin. Jen is very gruff, to the point, and takes NO bullshit, especially from the younger folks. His love comes in the form of advice, quiet support, and a helping hand if you need some physical work done. He's not touchy-feely at all.

Fen is a bit more open to emotions than Jen. He has more patience for listening to you talk about your problems, but might not offer the best solutions to them. He likes practical jokes (and being both a Kindred AND a Nos, those 'jokes' often involve an explosive...) but he likes to laugh with people, and will do his best to help you buck up.

The both of them don't really care for anyone's romantic or otherwise affections outside of each other.

15. What's their most obvious difference in behavior when they're at home versus when they're at work/school/with friends/alone: The biggest difference is probably in just how they talk - or, lack thereof. Fen is a bookworm, and when he's got the downtime, usually prefers to read. Jen is something of a workaholic, so unfortunately, he often makes it so he has NO downtime, and even when he's not working on something major like Warren construction, he's doing smaller jobs, like minor electrical work. The rare times he DOES stop and have a damn break, he usually prefers to spend it with Fen, or having a walk around town, just to see what's changed since he was last above ground. They don't talk overmuch with people, and their tone generally doesn't shift. They're both very up-front individuals in that way.

33/34. How do they greet someone they dislike/hate or like/love: It honestly depends on the situation. If there's something they need from the person, or if they HAVE to work with them, they'll both keep their tones fairly neutral and polite, keeping it to work conversations at most. (Though, Fen might toss in a small barb or two if he can get away with it.) If it's someone they don't HAVE to work with, and just genuinely dislike, Jen will just avoid them unless they have a go at him first. (At which point he'll set Fen loose on them.) Fen will take a very jovial tone with people he dislikes, and plans on doing something about. Fen is also more prone to make the first move if he thinks he can do so without the other person retaliating in a way that matters/will actually be affective.

Greeting someone they love actually tends to look very similar, but the tone is a lot more genuine. Jen will share a cigarette, let you moan about your problems a bit, and then commiserate with you about the way the world is. Fen will give a hug, laugh with you about whatever you want to, and share good gossip if there's any to be had.

Tweak

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love? What love do they prefer to receive: It's...hard to say. Tweak's form of love that he gives is neither tough nor gentle? His 'love' usually comes in the form of favors delivered on and promises kept. To be fair to him, those favors and promises are usually pretty lofty, as in, 'how the fuck did you manage this', and the fact that he's able to attain them for people is pretty impressive. (Granted, it's almost never for free...) He will be friendly enough while doing so, though.

In receiving it, he enjoys spending time with people, and will be a decent-ish friend if he likes you enough. He's sort of like that one person who's always down to just shoot the shit and have a conversation solely in memes if you so desire.

15. What's their most obvious difference in behavior when they're at home versus when they're at work/school/with friends/alone: Tweak is actually a very quiet person when he's alone. when with others, he's usually the loudest, quippiest, most obnoxious person in the room, who can't seem to contain his commentary on other people's conversations, which also stretches into his admin duties, might I add, but when he's truly alone...Tweak tends to get 'smaller' if that makes sense. When he's not with people, manning the hub desk, doing wiring for the network or installing neo-SNET servers/bringing old ones back online, he's in his room, usually watching, of all things, property shows, home improvement shows, and reality tv. Tweak consumes...a lot of media, especially in the age of vloggers. He likes watching people.

33/34. How do they greet someone they dislike/hate or like/love: Hard to say. Tweak seems to treat people he dislikes and those he likes almost virtually the same at first. Unless someone's being openly physically aggressive with him (as in, going for a punch/bite), he'll use the same sarcastic, prodding tone with them as he uses with his own clanmates. Granted, the jabs might aim to make them START a fight so he's got plausible deniability in fucking them up, but it's all about what the other person does or responds to. Tweak tends to mold his interactions to fit around the other person.

If he really does take a liking to you, however, you may be in the unique position to receive an actual gift from him with (almost) no strings attached. And it will actually be something you'll like/need.

Charlie, because I think this question is interesting for her-

20. Who do they like as a person, but hate their work/Like their work, but hate as a person: The answer is a bit broad, but it also goes outside the bounds of just the story contained in This Warren of Mine - it's most of the greater Kindred scientific community. Charlie, as a scientist herself with a specialty in taxonomy and mycology, has a VERY love-hate relationship with other vampire scientists in various fields, especially ones related to hers.

She's discovered that Kindred aren't very willing to do peer reviews, much less with people of other clans, and it frustrates her to no end when she's attempting to do research, hits a roadblock because of some information or skillset she doesn't have, and then must either stop the progress she's made because she CAN'T progress, OR have to put things that may be time-sensitive on hold while she tries to go out and find someone who both has the knowledge and know-how she needs, AND IS EVEN WILLING TO SHARE AT A PRICE SHE'S WILLING TO PAY. It's maddening for her.

NOT TO MENTION the fact that because of the lack of peer-review and iffy ethics involved to say the least, she's left having to try and fact-check her data even after she gets it because there's the enormous possibility that it's riddled with political/clan agenda, propaganda, bias, edited information, REDACTED information, miscalculation, or is just plain incorrect!

Despite all her misgivings about the Sabbat's moral and ethical code (the practical one, at least - Charlie tries to stay away from philosophy at the best of times) she has honestly gotten some of her best information from them, as well as having massive respect (and more than a little fear) for people like Sascha Vycos and other Sabbat scholars. They might be monsters the likes of which Charlie dearly hopes she never emulates, even when/if she gets to be as old as them, but she's more than grateful for their diligence in trying to maintain an objective point of view in their research.

[ranger-rai]

Hey ranger rai, I need some advice. I really love my pokemon, I really do, but my zorua keeps causing issues. He keeps starting fights with my sylveon and fennekin. Sylvie and Fen are best friends and just cant handle the issues zorua keeps making. I had Zorua before Fen and Sylvie and I cant tell if hes jealous or if this is his way of making friends since all of my pokemon (other then fen and Sylvie) have a close friend except him. So you have any advice on how to fix this?

Oof, dynamics like this are hard.

Especially since you have two pokemon of a similar breed.

My suggestion would be to isolate all three for a little while and let your Zorua mingle with one at a time, seeing who it's having the troubles with the most.

Perhaps it's feeling left out now that you have two more pokemon to take care of, and maybe it's also upset that they are getting along so well and it doesn't know what to do.

Try and let it get to know them one at a time, and help them find common ground.

Also, Zorua is a dark type, and Sylveon is a fairy type, so they already have some natural opposition.

I always say that food is a powerful tool to bring people and pokemkn together, so maybe try and make some food thst they could enjoy together, perhaps of similar tastes?

Give them activities and things they can do together to get a little bonding, and once they are familiar separately, hopefully, they can mesh well together.

Let me know if that helps.

[canidfeline]

Reyno's average day

O-W: ''No- Padawan, use the Force. Let it lighten the load of your lightsaber and its attacks. Go with it, not against it.''

Reyno was bad at this. He was full of anger, which is horrible for any Jedi. His emotions ruled him and not the other way around. And he couldn't use the Force to save his life.

R: ''Dude, how many times do I need to drill it into that dumb, posh skull of yours, THAT I AM TRYING AND CANNOT USE IT?!'' O-W: ''Do not raise your voice at me, Padawan. You gain nothing from it. And I am not 'dude', I am Master Kenobi.''

Reyno grumbled, mocking Obi-Wan under his breath. R: ''Oh, 'I am not dude, I am Master Kenobi', fafafafafa.''

Obi-Wan sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance as he adjusted his grip on his lightsaber.

O-W: ''Just... come at me, Reyno.''

Reyno huffed and puffed, putting both hands on his lightsaber before raising it and throwing it down at Obi-Wan's in a clumsy, laborious attack, stumbling forward afterwards and falling onto his side. His lightsaber (luckily) turning off as he hit the ground.

O-W: ''...We'll try more later, let's go get lunch.''

R: ''Give me a minute. I'm considering suicide.''

Obi-Wan chuckled, reaching his hand out to Reyno. Reyno grunted as he sat up, grabbing Obi-Wan's hand and pulling himself up before clipping his lightsaber back to his belt.

R: ''Thanks.''

O-W: ''You are welcome, my Padawan.''

-

Lunchtime

-

Reyno sits alone in the Jedi dining quarters as Obi-Wan walked off to a Council Meeting, feasting on some Roast Porg and Jawa Juice. Which he's surprised is allowed at a Jedi Temple considering how against indulgences they are.

And then Fenris spots him and walks over.

R: ''Motherfucker, don't sit down, don't sit down, don't-''

F: ''REYNO!''

Fenris sat down parallel to Reyno, all smiles as he set his own food tray down on the table, Reyno hanging his head low as he chewed on his porg.

R: ''Fenris.''

Fenris chuckled, putting on an exaggerated grumpy frown to mock Reyno.

F: ''Grr, 'Fenris'.''

R: ''Funny.''

F: ''I know! What're you eating?''

R: ''Roast porg with gravy. Jawa Juice as my drink.''

F: ''Ooh, aren't you a regular alcoholic? I swear, I never see you drink anything BUT Jawa Juice when you eat. Unhealthy, man.'' Fenris said as he cut into his own food, chewing in between words.

R: ''Thanks for the advice, Fen. I'll take it into consideration.

Reyno murmured, washing his food down with a sip from his cup. He glances around, somewhat uncomfortable as it gets quiet, resting his chin on his hand as he decides to try and converse with Fenris.

R: ''You been training today? With your Master?''

F: ''Yeah! Using the Force and stuff. I'm pretty sure I was in the same yard as you. You... uh, can't use it at all.''

R: ''Yeah. I'm very aware.''

F: ''...you tried focusing?''

R: ''No, never. Tell me, what is focusing, Fenris?''

F: ''...it's like, you zone-''

R: ''I KNOW WH- I know what focusing is, you gullible buffoon.''

F: ''Ah.''

Reyno sighed. He couldn't talk to anyone well enough to hold a conversation anymore. May as well just be blunt with the question he's been waiting to ask.

R: ''...do you have a dick or no dick?'' Fenris slowly stopped chewing, eyes slowly moving to look up at Reyno before swallowing his food. F: ''...what?''

R: ''What? Am I not allowed to ask that?''

F: ''...no, dude.

R: ''Oh. Sorry.''

Reyno sipped from his Jawa Juice again before clearing his throat.

R: ''Can you answer it, though?''

F: ''No, Reyno. It's one of life's great mysteries.''

[necromancers-incorporated]

Here's my written piece for the Nevermoor Big Bang, a short fic featuring Jack when he first arrives at the Deucalion. Go visit @pxme-granate for the stunning art work! @nevermoorcentral

When the news came Jupiter broke. He could hardly bring himself to get out of his bed. Every time he opened his eyes he came to the sickening realisation that she was dead, and another bout of nausea would roll over him, forcing him the bathroom to dry heave until he was shaking on the floor with exhaustion. 

He had been so wrapped up in his grief he had forgotten all about little John Arjuna Korrapati, his poor nephew grieving both his mother and his father, the little boy who had been entrusted to him and who was now sat downstairs in a strange house knowing no-one. The thought of him, all alone, was enough to snap Jupiter back. His moping would have to be put aside and he would have to deal with the situation at hand. 

"They aren't coming back, are they?" he whispered, his voice small and barely audible over the fire in Jupiter's office. Martha and Fen had fetched him blankets and a hot chocolate, but the drink was left untouched, the steam rising slowly. 

Jupiter swallowed, unable to meet John's sad eyes. The boy had seen so much loss at such a young age, and he could see the black cloud that hung around his head, and the red and blue that covered his heart. 

"No, they aren't."

"I guess that means I have to live with you then." Hearing how resigned John was to his fate only broke Jupiter's heart more. What was he meant to say to someone who had just lost their whole world? Was he meant to make false promises about how he would always be there to protect him when he damn-well knew he couldn't uphold them? 

He tried for a small smile. "Yes, I guess you will."

~~~~~

Over the following month, it became clear that John resented Jupiter. Every time he tried to bond or help or give advice he was met with cold distain and snide remarks. It was understandable, though. What else was there to expect? It wasn't like Jupiter hadn't done the same to Frank or Kedgeree or Fen every now and then. 

"You know, you could come in to work with me today Jack?" Jupiter offered. As usual, Jack scoffed at the nickname and rolled his eyes. 

"Do you have to insist on calling me that?" he muttered, his face twisting into a scowl. "And no, I'm not coming into work with you, not to that place." He stabbed at his eggs and bacon a bit before pushing it back and standing up to leave. 

Fen came in and sat next to him. "Well, this seems to be going well, doesn't it?"

Jupiter let his head fall into his hands. "Why does he hate me? I mean, I get why he hates Wunsoc, that makes sense, but why me?" The laugh that followed didn't help matters. "I'm serious Fen! What am I meant to do?"

She shrugged. "How am I meant to know? You'd have better luck talking to Martha - she seems motherly, I guess." 

The door closed behind her and Jupiter was left alone again in the silence. He couldn't get the look on Jack's face out of his mind. 

~~~~~

After a few more days of tense glares and muttered complaints, Jupiter finally decided to follow Fen's advice and seek out Martha. She did seem to have a decent grasp on how to handle delicate situations. 

"Hi, what is it you wanted to talk about?" she asked as she took a seat across from him. "Something wrong?" The obvious concern in her voice made Jupiter wonder how he hadn't considered asking her sooner. 

"No, well, yes, I mean - you know, I have no idea." He laughed a bit to himself. "I'm just struggling to connect with Jack and you always seem to know what you're doing in that department. He actually seems to not hate you, so I thought you might be able to help."

Martha pursed her lips and watched him curiously. "You think that me, your employee, is the right person to ask concerning your adopted nephew?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," he sighed. 

She smiled sympathetically. "Just don't expect too much of him right now, he needs space and time to cope."

"All he does is sit in his room, and when he does come out he barely looks at me, or anyone for that matter! I just..." his voice broke and he took a deep breath, trying to keep back the tears. "I just want to help the kid, Martha."

A little hesitantly, she reached over the desk and gave his hand a squeeze. "You can only do your best, Jove, that's all any of us can do." There was one last fleeting smile before she left, and Jupiter was once again alone with his thoughts. 

~~~~~

Jupiter did his best, or at least he thought he was doing his best. He tried taking Jack out to see pantomimes and go to the park for ice-cream, he asked how school was going and if he needed help, but with every step forward he made Jack only slunk further away from him. 

Another month passed and everything only seemed to be getting worse. Even Frank, who normally didn't care about Jack's presence, asked Jupiter if something else had happened, another death, perhaps. 

The amount of time Jack spent alone was what concerned Jupiter the most. He was quite often just in his room with the lights off and laid in his bed, but sometimes he would be gone for hours at a time, only showing up to eat or to ask where something was or if they were going out somewhere. The longer this went on the more Jupiter and the others started to worry. They started keeping closer tabs on him, reporting where he was last seen at what time, but no-one could gauge where it was he would disappear to. 

After a week of such distant behaviour, Jupiter decided to follow him after breakfast, just a little way behind him. He knew that the Deucalion had many secret rooms, and even he did not know where they all led, so letting Jack wander them alone with no idea where he could be was potentially dangerous. 

It turned out that Jack had managed to discover one of the few rooms Jupiter kept off-limits to guests and most staff members - The Hall of Shadows. It was both relieving and worrying to discover that Jack to chose to spend his time in there of all places. Shadows couldn't harm anyone, not really, but it was confusing why he would spend hours in a place so dark and, frankly, frightening. 

He knocked on the door, and from inside he heard a small yelp of surprise. Sheepishly, Jack opened the door, eyes cast down in shame or fear. 

"I'm sorry," he he blurted out before Jupiter could utter a word. "I heard people talk about this room and it was dark and no-one goes in so it was quiet and my head stopped hurting in there and I didn't mean to keep going all the time but it was nice and it didn't hurt anymore." The poor boy's eyes filled with tears and his voice shook as he rambled on, furiously wiping his face with his sleeve.

Jupiter crouched to his level and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Take a breath, Jack, what's going on?"

For a brief moment it looked as if Jack was going to snap at him again, tell him to leave him alone or something else to that liking, but he only sighed and stepped further out of the room. 

"Sometimes I see things," he whispered, so quietly Jupiter almost didn't hear him. "Not lots of things, just when I'm around people I see them."

Matching his sombre tone, Jupiter pressed further. "What kinds of things?"

Jack let out a deep breath. "Colours and shapes on people and sometimes just objects. Like right now you've got this purple kind of cloud over your eyes, and this black shadow on your chest."

Jupiter's heart sank. "Why don't we talk about this in my office, hm? Less chance of being interrupted."

With a defiant step back the boy shook his head. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?" His voice was a mixture anger and grief and confusion. If only he knew just how much Jupiter truly understood in that moment, the fear and the guilt all mixing together. 

"Oh, no, Jack not at all. This just seems like an over-a-cup-of-tea conversation."

Slowly he led the way through the corridors, keeping one hand planted firmly on the little boy's shoulder. Neither one of them said anything, Jupiter's mind was far too busy trying to figure out the best way to explain to his nephew that he wasn't crazy but in fact a Witness. He barely even registered the closing of the door behind him as he took a seat. 

Jack kept his hands clasped together in his lap, still refusing to look at his uncle properly. How was he meant to start this conversation?

"Look, Jack, I know you're having a tough time at the moment, and what I'm going to tell you probably won't help matters," he began, trying to choose his words carefully. "But what you have to understand is that, no matter what, me - and the rest of the staff here - will do our best to help you."

The boy only glanced up at him with wide eyes, waiting for what was to come. 

Steeling his nerves, Jupiter readied himself. "I do not know how much your mother told you about me and why it is I do what I do, but in case she told you nothing then I will explain it to you. I am what people call a Witness - I see things that others don't. I can interpret these things and paint a whole picture about what a person or object's life has been like from as long as they can remember." Jack showed no outward reaction. "I believe, based on what you've told me, that you too are a Witness."

The little smudge of red that tainted the blue near Jack's heart grew, almost doubling in size in a matter of seconds. "No!" he shouted, standing up so fast that the chair he sat on fell backwards. "No I'm not one of you!"

"Please, Jack, you have to understand - this is not a choice, it's just who you are," Jupiter tried to reason. This was going so much worse than he had imagined. 

Still, Jack refused. "No! Being one of you is what killed them!" he screamed. Tears poured down his cheeks and his breathing became fast and ragged. "They were like you and they had to go to that place and that killed them! I'm not like you I didn't kill them!"

It felt like a knife had been plunged straight through his heart. There was a slight bit of truth to what he was saying. It was Jupiter who had first showed signs of his knack and his sister, wanting to stay close, spent time working on hers so they could stay together through Wunsoc. It was stupid to blame himself, he knew that, but hearing someone else say it out loud broke that last bit of defence. 

Instead of crying or shouting, however, Jupiter felt his own self-hatred turn to ice in his veins. "Jack, go to your room. When you've calmed down we can talk about this more."

He screamed one last time and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

It was only when he was alone that Jupiter allowed himself to break down. He sobbed until his chest ached and his body went numb, until the fire slowly died out and the sun dipped behind him, casting long shadows along his walls and doors. Once again he was back at square one - an angry boy at his doorstep and nothing but grief as comfort. 

He didn't go to his room that night, too rattled to even feign sleep. He had to come up with something, anything. 

The idea struck him in the early hours of the morning, when the sky turns cold and grey and unwelcoming. It was likely not the wisest decision to listen the rants and raves of a man who had no sleep, but his staff allowed him to weave his web of a plan, so chaotic and unruly they nearly broke composure and laughed to his face. But the face they saw was one that had been broken and defeated, and if this was what it took then they would indulge him. 

They could think of no true negatives - what harm could a party do but lift spirits? What harm lay in drinks and guests and good food? 

A lot, apparently. Or at least according to Jack. He resented the idea, the mere thought of it serving only to rile him up further, convincing him that all Jupiter was concerned with was making him like 'one of them' as he put it. 

The plans proceeded nonetheless. The banners went up, the food was cooked, the posters hung on every available space. With every day drawing closer to the event, with Jupiter dropping subtle hints to Jack - who by then barely tolerated his presence - about some surprise or another, the tension, the holding of breaths, only grew. 

Jupiter remained unperturbed by Jack's disinterest, claiming he knew that on that morning all would be well, he had consulted with Dame Chanda near on every day, every spare chance so he got them all right. 

Still he barely slept, awake far too late (or perhaps early?) to continue planning, to find just the right ribbon with which to tie the box. It had to be perfect. It had to be. This was his mission now, his sole purpose and reason. He put off work and blew off friends. It was a family emergency, after all, and by now they were used to his antics. 

On that fateful morning, the one of the party, Jupiter awoke with a pit in his stomach. What if it failed? What if it made things worse? What if they didn't work and all was for naught?

At least the party was not until evening, and so he had all the time in the world for spirals and dreads. 

Downstairs, Jack was sat by the tree, stock still. The only sign of life was the gentle rising and fall of his shoulders with his breath. In his hands he held the box, one that carried all of Jupiter's efforts, though its actual weight would not reflect that. 

Upon hearing Jupiter's arrival Jack turned, slowly. He held the box as thought at any moment it might disappear or shatter or kill him.

"You got me something?" he asked, voice quiet in that early delicate morning. 

Jupiter smiled and nodded, that held breath building in his chest. "Of course, why wouldn't I?" The question was not meant to be answered, though both knew there likely was one.

Hesitating for the briefest of moments, Jack waited, and then tore into the wrapping paper like his life depended on it. He paused when he reached the black box tied with red ribbon, like he was waiting for something again. Nothing happened. 

Slowly, he untied it and pulled off the lid. Jupiter watched with bated breath, praying that he would like it. 

The smile on Jack's face was enough to assure him that the gift was the right one to get. He pulled out the black eyepatch and placed it over one of his eyes, grinning all the while. He did not need to ask what it was for. Jupiter had spent enough time with it so that his intentions were carved forever into its surface.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," he breathed. "It's quiet."

"You're welcome, Jack."

They didn't hug - they didn't need to - but the feeling of doing something right for once, for getting the young boy's smile back, that was all Jupiter needed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[tumbler-town-incorrectquotes]

Fen: Why are you asking me for love advice?

Misra: Are you gonna help me or not?

Fen: Oh I’m gonna help. Okay, first, you’ve gotta give Anne a look of intent. Maybe glance at her lips for a split second before looking her dead in the eyes.

Misra: And then?

Fen: Watch, move a bit closer, if she moves closer as well, that’s your signal to move forward.

Misra: Move forward with the what?

Fen: Patience! Okay, you gotta put your hand gently on her cheek, moving your thumb across her cheek. That’s when you lean in and kiss her. You don’t wanna come off as rushing it, so unless she tries it, no tongue. Finally, you move the hand on her cheek into her hair, letting it get tangled a bit. Once you’re there, you go for the kill.

Misra: The “kill”?

Fen: Using the other hand to steal her wallet while she’s distracted. If she laughs it off, she’s the one.

Misra:…I think you and I have different definitions of romance.

[Melatonin has been rubbing off on Fen, lol.]

(Fen - @sagehyperfixates Misra - @the-belle-siblings)

[bloedewir]

The Fadelings

(Just a sick Dragon Age AU-idea I'm kinda obsessed with).

In the end of dai we had that sad solavellan slide with "she keeps trying to find him and still waiting and hoping and etc".

What if.. she actually found him in the Fade. Even before Trespasser events (so the situation was much easier to proceed). And it was a moment of weakness for him (just after Mythal' death). Too much sorrow, guilt and pain to think clearly. So.. Lavellan found Fen'Harel, and it was a moment of peace and comfort that was needed to keep going. And. Something nsfw happened. In the Fade.

Years passed but the Veil still there. Why? Fen'Harel trying to understand what's the problem. He has knowledge, strengths and willing to destroy the Veil.. but he can't. There's something that doesn't work, something he constantly misses. That's annoying.

That's the twins.

Fen'lath and Vhen'asalin. Though they prefers to call each other Fen and Vhen. Twins with mysterious connection to the Fade and the eyes that shining with green light.

Fen'Harel doesn't know because he's not allowed to. Lavellan keeps the children safe. She actually didn't understand the problem with the Veil either till the twins explain it. (Their connection to the Fade is much stronger that any other mage ever had and they know/sense things kinda intuitively).

The Veil can't be destroyed because it isn't "whole" anymore. You can't destroy something that isn't fully there. Usually the Veil is like.. well, a veil. It surround the world like the magical screen, and it can softly touch the living ones but it's the superficial touch.

Unlike the twins who's literally were made in the Fade. The Veil running through them, so the missing pieces of Fen'Harel' plan is them. The Veil couldn't be destroyed because twins keeps a small piece of it inside them. (Not unlike the spirits or demons who can return back, they're alive and aren't bounded to the Fade itself).

So. Fen'Harel doesn't know why the plan isn't working. Lavellan won't risk their children' safety just to be truthful with him.

(That's the explanation I believe more willingly than the "Fen'Harel fucked up all deadlines just because").

If there's a 10-year period, twins must be younger yet I don't know how to draw children (even less than I know how to draw anything), so they're a bit older.

Magic is cool but I didn't want to picture them both as mages. Fen is a mage (maybe a Rift mage as well) and Vhen is a Veil-archer (whatever it possibly means). Twins have strong connection. "We're always together". They fulfill the lack of missing abilities of each other. Fen can direct the magical energy to the bow or making the illusion of "hail of arrows". Vhen is memorizing all the magic theory that Fen can't, to assist him or give an advice when it's needed. If anyone tells something about risk and consequences, lack of responsibility or ask them what would happen if they're splitted, twins answer.. yes, "we're always together".

In some ways they're acting like Cole. Sometimes creepy and grim. Sometimes speaking by riddles finishing each other's sentences.

finally I found use to my pinterest saves. made aesthetic boards for that sick idea.

in any case I'm sorry, I just needed to get rid of that thought so I leave it here and slowly step aside.

[nadineross]

thank you @elliewilliums for tagging me in this oc game!!

im gonna tag @chloefrazer, @latenna, @brujah, @lexcanium, @voerman, @abelas and anyone else who wants to do this!

favorite oc

it’s a toss up between varya or parisa 🥹 they are both so important to me and i love them so much! they also have the most content ive made about them.

newest oc

i think it’s agony; shes a tiefling college of satire bard and she’s literally a clown

oldest oc

orianna? i think? she was from the first campaign i got to play instead of dming. she probably would be one of my fav ocs if thinking about her and the game she was in didnt make me sad lmao

meanest oc

ripley? i think? shes not very outwardly mean, but shes very abrasive which could come across as mean.

WAIT it’s quinn from fallen hero. fail girl cunt swag

softest oc

definitely luci, my tiefling protection domain cleric and champion fighter. shes just a fantasy christian girl oc lmao

dumbest oc

probably vox, only because theyre too obsessed with being sexy. and also probably the brain damage.

smartest oc

fenlynn by a long shot. her intelligence was nearly maxed out from the start. shes also a wizard so 🧠🧠

oc you’d bang

maybe eve? her offputting charm and prophetic visions have captivated me.

or jonas i guess? theyre covered in tattoos and thats very self-indulgent of me.

oc you’d be friends with irl

my gut instinct is aimyr or fen.

aimyr because he’s very principled and accepting. hes also been through a lot, so i imagine hed give good advice; hed also probably let me cry which i think we all need a friend like that.

fen because she’s probably really fun to have convos with because she is so smart. i think shes also pretty agreeable (when shes not in a depressive episode) and can have a lot of fun. i think shes also very logical, so shed help me solve my problems when i overcomplicate things

theyre both ironically earth signs lmao