#female adhd

[briarmae]

My psychiatrist, within half an hour of meeting me for the first time ever, "Have you ever considered that maybe you could possibly have autism...?" 😅

[ihatehowmanyblogsihave]

I will pose this question to tumblr residents and experts:

I remember distinctly having to learn how to laugh in a way that was recognised as a laugh by others, practising it so it was minimal effort and maximum effect

I remember standing in front of a mirror and figuring out a smile, practicing it so it felt like it was “my own”, “cool” and lowest effort for me

I remember having to google how to make small talk, what small talk means, basically a small effort at research in small talk so i knew how to talk to people next to me on the bus, when people were trying to talk to me and when i wanted to talk to strangers but didnt know how or what was appropriate - i googled, took notes, practiced and perfected

I took this to my doctor and asked him if i was possibly on the autism spectrum. He replied that i am not, and “autistic people wouldnt care about reaching out to people, they are happy without friends. You tried to make friends, wanted to accepted that shows that either you were insecure or anxious”

QUESTIONS:

1. I dont think autistic people are happy without friends. Are they? (Are you specifically? From what i have read that is not the average autistic person’s opinion but i am not the expert)

2. Did you as a non autistic person do something similar to what i did?

3. Did you as someone with diagnosed anxiety disorder or recognised insecurities do something similar to what I did?

All answers are welcome and appreciated . Thank you.

[cis-chan]

Also sorry for the absolute spam of personal posts but does anyone have any experience with ADHD meds? I am thinking of going back on them to treat some of my more difficult adhd symptoms (forgetfulness, disorganization, racing thoughts and anxiety). I was on them from age 7-17ish and I am now mid twenties. my main problems with them were:

Changed my personality/made me feel like a zombie

Made my anxiety worse

Most importantly it made my obsessive skin picking/dermatillomania SO MUCH WORSE. I would pick for hours on end and ended up with bald spots and infected spots.

I would like to be able to manage my ADHD symptoms without these side effects. Does anyone have any insights?

[teawithsgtbarnes]

Describe yourself in three fictional characters

[peachymilkshakes]

I saw a video of Lola bunny being an ADHD icon and I watched it and wheezed because of how relatable she is??

[musiccomicnerdperson]

If you are currently living in the United States, there is unfortunately there is not much we can do to be proactive about the Trump presidency but this abso-fuckin-lutely can be done before Trump is sworn in! Please share this as much as you can so everyone who needs to hear this does!!! I tagged just about everything that I thought was relevant for this because I want to make sure everyone who hears this does!!!

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

[nyrovie-ii]

I can’t

[ghostlyfleur]

𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

eddie munson x shy!oc

contents: anxiety, curse words, friends to lovers. lovesick!eddie, inexperienced!reader, self-consciousness, first kiss, sharing clothes. eddie’s jacket is oversized on reader. can be read as x reader, but a bit oc too? carnival date.

word count: ~1.5k

eddie munson is in love.

she is entirely inexperienced in anything romantic or sexual; no first kiss, never even got close to it. extremely shy and anxious, has a seemingly innocent aura, is a bit out of sorts, ditzy, with a sort of luna lovegood vibe. doesn’t argue with people, always tears up if confronted about anything, doesn’t have beef with anyone and is a lot more rational than emotional even though she tears up so easily. also doesn’t hold grudges or care what people think of her…

the thing is, she has been introverted her whole life, a very anxious person, and so doesn’t understand that eddie munson likes her because she needs to be told how people feel about her very explicitly otherwise her mind will convince her they hate her. anxiety is like that. and she’s the kind of person that has a hard time realizing that people can perceive their existence and have feelings for them, no matter what type of feelings, so even though eddie is not at all shy about flirting with her and giving her all of the attention in the world in his over-the-top, overdramatic way, he also knows that if anything other than the friendship he’s thankfully managed to build with her is going to happen, romantic-wise, that she has to be the one to initiate it— but she’s oblivious!

on the other hand though, she doesn’t even bother hiding her infatuation with eddie — it’s a lot more than infatuation by now. she’s always looking at him with stars in her eyes and laughs at his jokes and smiles that big, square, goofy smile whenever they lock eyes and constantly praises him because he deserves to feel as special as he is, right? and she goes into detailed talks about lord of the rings with him, likes many of the same bands he does or simply lets him play his favorites for her, and she truly loves to watch hellfire play dungeons & dragons.

her eds even made her a special edition pink hellfire shirt. ‘cause he’s a simp.

one day, as she’s out with chrissy and heather outside a diner, talking and laughing and catching up, eddie is close by somewhere with friends. his van is parked nearby.

it starts getting chilly, and eddie’s girl starts shivering, so she quickly excused herself away from the girls, “gimme a second!” and reaches through the open window of eddie’s van, making a mental note to grill him about it later — “‘cause it isn’t safe, eds!” — to grab his leather jacket thinking of how he has told her over and over that she can borrow it, that “what’s mine is yours, sweets. i don’t mind sharing if it’s with you”, so she figures it’s okay, right? and goes back to the girls who are fucking smirking like they see something she doesn’t.

it’s about fifteen minutes later, and eddie is walking towards the trio, simply because he misses his girl and wants a hug, when he sees it.

she’s wearing his jacket. his jacket.

in typical eddie fashion, he makes a scene— gasping dramatically, he clutches his chest over his heart and falls to his knees, because fuck what anyone around thinks. his precious girl is wearing his fucking jacket! and she looks like a fucking angel.

“eds, what are you doin’?”

“do you know how heavenly you look in my jacket? i just had to get on my knees to worship you.”

the boy shuffles closer to his sweet girl on his knees still while he talks and she’s flustered, okay? she’s shy and her face is on fire and she’s covering her cheeks and giggling. and because it’s eddie, her eddie, she’s not running away to have a panic attack. ‘cause it’s eddie and he’s being sweet, so she can’t focus on anyone else long enough to feel crippling anxiety or embarrassment. doesn’t even care that chrissy is cooing and heather is smirking.

“that jacket is yours now, you own it. you pretty much own me by now.” eddie says, on his knees, in front of her

“it’s okay that i took it right?” she makes sure even after his display of joy, ‘cause anxiety isn’t rational “you said i—”

her eddie knows her, though. he stands up, gets real fucking close to her, so close they’re almost touching, with this look of absolute adoration and “i’d give ya everything i have if i could, pretty.”

fast forward a few days later. chrissy kept yapping on and on to the oblivious girl about how “in love” eddie is, but it’s as though her brain won’t let her even entertain the idea.

that’s until she’s having a semi-regular quote unquote friend-date with eddie, something they’ve done quite a few times before, and this time they go to the fair. they’re doing everything couples might do, eddie is very aware of this, and he’s over the moon to just be enjoying quality time with his pretty girl until she spots a photobooth, “oh, eds! we have to!” and eddie’s desperately counting coins to pay. the pictures go a little something like this:

after coming up blank with pose ideas, they just look at each other and laugh, but at the sound of his free and bright laugh, she just stares at her boy like he’s a dream come true— first pic is taken, looking at eddie like he hung the moon while he’s mid-laugh.

eddie notices her staring and goes from loud laughs to breathless ones, a smile on his lips, and whispers a soft “what?”— second picture is taken as the girl quickly presses her lips to his, her very first kiss, and it’s caught on camera.

the third picture depicts eddie’s sweet girl nervously rambling “i was going to ask for permission first, i promise!” while eddie has a glassy, dreamy look on his face, slack jawed, looking at her lips.

and at the fourth snap? eddie presses forward to shut her up with another impossibly soft and tender kiss, both of their eyes are closed and his hand is holding her jaw, thumb brushing her cheek.

after they part from the second kiss, eddie acknowledges that it was her first kiss, a shy “was that okay?” to which his sweetheart just smiles really big and nods excitedly over and over with a breathless giggle. that was the perfect first and second kiss and she couldn’t ask for more.

they hold hands the rest of the night.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD Myths vs Reality

Future ADHD

[briarmae]

I did great in school and college, but I now greatly struggle with cleaning, organization, paperwork, and social situations.

My mom has adhd. She was diagnosed as an adult. Our cleaning routines and organization were... like non-existant.

My psychiatrist is now having me tested for adhd. I'm 33. I was diagnosed with autism at 31. I'm a woman, btw, a group whose autism and adhd are frequently missed or misdiagnosed as children.

(Diagnostic criteria for mental and physical conditions are frequently based on male symptoms and studies, and the symptoms are generally different between men and women.)

"i had straight As in high school i don't understand why college is so hard" get tested for adhd. if you were tested as a kid and they didn't diagnose you it was cause your grades were good then but you've since lost the routine and structure in hs that kept you on top of everything so go get retested. go get tested for adhd. go

[lis-likes-fics]

Pancakes, Bottle Tops, and Jell-O on the Side

Pairings: Spencer Reid x bau!adhd!Reader Word Count: 3.5k words Warnings: Character with ADHD, fluff :) A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble....so... I am going to go ahead and continue the bau!adhd!reader stuff because I think it's a lot of fun! ANyway, thank you and enjoy. Special thanks to my beta reader @killerqueen-ofwillowgreen

“Spence.”

His lazy hum rumbles under you as you lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as you both lay wrapped in the covers. It's late, a glance at the clock says nearly one in the morning.

You cross your arms over his chest, leaning up to look at his face. He looks peaceful, not sleeping but closed-eyed and slow-breathed. “I'm hungry.”

He smiles, but his eyes stay closed. “It's too late to eat.”

You shrug lazily, drawing circles on his chest. “But I want pancakes.”

He opens his eyes. “You know,” Spencer sits up, laying back against the headboard, “late night snacking is bad for digestion.”

You hum. “Is it?”

He nods. “Your metabolism slows while you sleep, so it's harder for your stomach acids to break down the food.” He presses his lips to your forehead. “Eating late at night can lead to weight gain and interrupted sleep.”

“Really?”

His hand rubs your arm. “If you need to eat close to bedtime, it's best to choose small, healthy snacks so you sleep better.”

You sit up, crossing your legs as you look at him. You set a hand on his hand, looking him straight in the eyes as you say it. “But I want pancakes.”

He laughs lightly. “Sweetheart–”

���What if we put chocolate chips in them?”

You know you’ve piqued his attention. He glances at you, his brows raised to his hairline. “Chocolate chips?” he mutters.

You almost feel bad for tricking him, but he’s too cute for that. Your smile grows as your second hand envelopes his own until you’re holding it like you’re keeping it warm. “Yeah,” you nod. “We can even eat it with Jell-O. Not, like, Jell-O on it. But, like, Jell-O on the side.” You clear your throat. “But we can also have Jell-O.”

He gives you an almost pained expression, like you’re gonna pull his arm off. “You know I love Jell-O.”

You smile your best smile. “I know, that’s why I said it.” Then you give your best pout, scooting closer to him with his hand in your hands. “Pancakes and Jell-O? Please?”

There’s a short pause as he lays his head back, sighing as he shakes his head. “You’re impossible to say no to, you know that?”

“Yay!” You erupt in smiles, pumping your fist in the air as you stumble out of the bed (and you quite literally stumble because your foot gets caught in the covers, and you fall to the floor with a thud). Spencer almost feels guilty for laughing as he asks if you’re okay, but you almost seem like you’ve hardly noticed when you get to your feet and rush to the kitchen. He takes his time following after you, but he’s becoming more and more excited about eating chocolate chip pancakes and strawberry Jell-O with you with each step he takes.

You’ve already beaten him to starting a CD, something from Mozart’s collection playing in the background as you try to reach the pancake mix from the top shelf. You’re almost certain he puts things there on purpose, especially when he comes up behind you with a hand on your hip as he easily reaches for the box and sets it next to you on the counter.

You turn to look at him, nearly swooning at the sight of him so close to you, his stupid pretty eyes and his stupid pretty face just waiting to be covered in your kisses. You settle for a peck on his chin, teasing him, before stepping around him to grab the box. He snatches it before you can, and you would pout if you didn’t know that’s what he wanted. Taking your chin between two gentle fingers, he places a very loving kiss on the very tip of your nose before he’s walking away to grab the pan. You settle for everything else, grabbing the milk and the water and the butter and the chips and whatever else is needed for your late-night snack.

As Spencer replaces the butter on the butter dish, he watches you out of the corner of his eye. He watches you pour the milk into a measuring cup half full of water, your other hand busy with tapping the counter three times. When you set the milk back down, you don’t move on until you’ve grabbed the handle with the opposite hand and let the other tap the counter three more times. You rub the condensation into your hands.

“They need to be equal, or it feels weird,” you’d said. He thinks you’re really cool.

When he’s flipping the pancakes, you’re gliding on your feet through the kitchen like you’re a ballerina. It’s as simple as you trying to stand on the very tips of your toes, and then him grabbing your waist to help you. He laughs every time you step on his feet, which makes you feel better about stepping on his feet so much.

And then when the pancakes are done, you’re waltzing with him between bites. He’s weirdly good at it, given the fact that he’s not a good dancer (neither of you are that great on your feet, but it doesn’t matter when it’s just slow dancing in the kitchen). You laugh every time he steps on your feet, which makes him feel better about stepping on your feet so much.

“Should we like…” you trail off, leaning over your plate next to Spencer’s, “...do some jumping jacks after?” You take a bite, speaking as you chew on it. “It’ll burn some of the calories, and then it won’t be so bad.”

Spencer’s smile is one of those ones that makes you feel that stereotypical “warm and tingly” feeling that settles in your stomach somewhere. It’s fond and sweet, and his eyes glitter with it. He chuckles lightly. “Maybe.” To the jumping jacks. He doesn’t much like jumping jacks.

“And then we’ll also be tired, and we can just go to sleep.”

He hums. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t need jumping jacks to make me sleepy.”

You sift through the last couple of bites left of your pancakes, turning your nose up. He can already tell that you’ve suddenly grown sick of it. There’s no way you’re eating the last two pieces. You set your fork down, gesturing to your head. “My mind is fast right now, so I may need a few.” You glance away, “On the other hand, that might make it worse…” Then you look at him. “I’m keeping you up late, I’m sorry.”

It’s almost two in the morning, and you both still have work in a few hours.

But he just smiles, loving as usual. “Sweetheart, we’re usually up late anyway on cases. You don’t have to apologize.”

You reach over, nudging his fingers with yours on the counter. “I feel like I do.” You tap your untouched fingers with his untouched fingers. They need to be even, otherwise it feels weird.

Spencer reaches over and locks your fingers together. “I promise you, I would’ve been awake anyway.” Meaning he was not going to sleep until he knew you were asleep to make sure you actually got some sleep.

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” You raise a hand to his cheek, your fingertips brushing over them and adoring the way they turn the slightest pink. “You need rest.”

“So do you,” he mumbles. “We’re staying awake together.”

There are nights where he pretends to be asleep to get you to rest. Tonight was one of those nights but when you say his name so sweetly, he has no choice but to reply.

And also, you’re a profiler. You know when he is or isn’t sleeping, you just pretend you don’t.

“Do you wanna do jumping jacks?” he suggests, gathering your plates while you’re distracted with the strands of hair misbehaving on his forehead, out of place from the rest.

“Maybe a few,” you hum.

He straightens his posture, stuffing his last bite in his mouth. “I’m going to make you some chamomile.” He already has the kettle in his hands, filling it with water to set to boil. “We can do some jumping jacks while we wait for the water to boil.”

You smile sweetly. He takes such good care of you, especially when he reaches his hand out and cups your chin so gently. “Thank you, honey,” you say as you slowly slip the plates into your hands. “I’ll get the dishes.”

He reaches for them, but you pull them closer to you, like a dragon hoarding its treasures—which is a strange simile, considering you’re talking about dirty dishes covered in his DNA. “I can do them,” he tries.

“I know you can,” you have to dance around him to get past him and to the sink. He turns the heat all the way up and leaves it, holding his hands out for the plates. You slap his hand away lightly, a teasing little swipe as you shake your head. “But I want to.”

He tilts his head, his confusion contaminated by his amused grin. “You hate doing the dishes.”

More than anything. “Yeah,” you agree, “but you’re being so nice.” You set the dishes by the sink and turn to look up at him. He’s freakishly tall, so you have to crane your neck up to see him because he stands so close. He has no sense of personal space with you, but you don’t mind it because you love him and you also don’t give him any personal space in return. “So either I fight you or you let me do the dishes.”

He sighs. “Okay, you wash and I’ll dry and put away.”

You stick your hand out to make it official. “Deal.”

“Great.” He takes your hand, surprising you when he twirls you in a clumsy circle and pulls you into his chest as you both giggle. It’s sappy and gross, like those scenes in rom-coms where they’re doing this exact thing: dancing around the kitchen late at night while they giggle like school kids because they’re so in love. You’ve always wanted this for yourself, and you’re beyond happy that you’ve found it with your Spencer.

“Thank you,” you say as you duck under his arm, taking your place at the sink as you start the water. Neither of you talk much as you scrub all the dirty dishes clean, your face scrunched in your focus, un-scrunching only when the water rinses away the suds you’ve built up on your dish. He takes it with eager hands, wiping the dish clean and retreating to put it away.

“You know,” you mutter, frowning at the way the pancake batter mixes with the water and sinks down the drain, “the jumping jacks before bed will be really good because, when we sleep after, our muscles will recover and get really strong.”

He nods, wiping at your elbow when it brushes the edge of the sink and you squirm away from the cold metal. It’s thoughtful, though it’s such a subconscious movement. “That’s correct.”

You shrug a shoulder, teasing easily. “I’m often correct.”

He laughs. It’s a big one that ruins your stoic expression. “That is also correct.” He’s proving your point, and he doesn’t mind doing it.

When the dishes are clean and put away, the kettle is whistling in perfect time as he removes it from the heat. You’re already scurrying to the cabinet to pick which mug you want to use (he already knows you’re going to pick the blue round Christmas Snoopy mug that curves in at the lip). It’s one of your favorites, like a mug-bowl hybrid that you love to cradle in your hands, especially when it’s warm.

He takes special care in making your tea while you sit on the counter next to him and watch. Your feet dangle over the edge, and you find yourself watching his face more than what he’s actually doing. He’s got eyebags. You can tell how tired he is, though he insists that he’s just always had them.

It’s partially true, anyway. When you first met him, he had those same dark circles around his eyes that gave a warning to how irregular these hours would be.

Other than his eyebags, he’s got a loving look on his face. It’s not forlorn and lost in sweet little smiles, but it’s thoughtful and content and at peace. He’s happy to stand there and make your tea, stirring the contents together with the little spoon because he knows you hate using the big ones. He’s happy to fish a single ice cube from the freezer to plop into your scalding tea so that you can actually drink it and not burn your tongue. He’s happy to hand over your mug and watch you take a tiny sip, closing your eyes and humming and giving him your softest thank you as you practically melt. He preens under your praise.

After a couple more sips, you’re pushing yourself off the counter and onto the floor, doing ridiculous stretches as you beam at him. “Okay, ready?”

Spencer lets out a huge sigh, bending down to set his hands on his knees. “Give me a second to catch up,” he says, already out of breath.

You furrow your brow and laugh. “We haven’t even started.”

“I mean mentally.”

“Spence!”

“Okay,” he straightens his posture, moving you both to a more open space as he stops in front of you. “I’m ready.”

You smile wide, “We’re going to fifty.”

“Fifty?!” he exclaims, but you’ve already started. He has to do the first five jumping jacks really fast just to catch up to you. But he’s in love with you, so he’s dedicated to these curséd things.

It’s somewhere before twenty when he speaks, already out of breath and lagging behind as his hands struggle to come as far up. You know he’s partially exaggerating, but you’re also getting tired already. “You know…” he gasps like he desperately needs water, “I hate…” another gasp, “doing these.”

You roll your eyes, tired but not as dramatic as him (currently). “I watched you chase an unsub down three blocks before and then proceed to tackle him, and you can’t do a few jumping jacks?” You don’t know where you are in the count. You forgot as soon as you started speaking, but you think you’re somewhere near thirty.

“Okay, that’s different…” He stops huffing and puffing, but he is genuinely getting tired as he breathes between words. “I was running on adrenaline…” a breath, “and I couldn’t stand straight for…” another breath, “for ten minutes after.”

It’s true. You had to hold his hand because he kept complaining that he was going to pass out, when really he was just trying to make you feel better because you had been so worried he would get hurt in pursuit. You’d been all over him worried sick, loving hands to his face and soft kisses to his forehead.

“I was so proud of you though.” You would shrug if you weren’t already busy. “Derek was impressed. Also, I don’t know where we are.”

He could have lied and said you were on 49, but he decides against it purely because you genuinely look like you’re enjoying yourself. Plus, you’re smiling. How is he possibly supposed to think straight if you’re smiling?

“38.”

You grumble but you stick it out together. And when the last counts come out (“47, 48, 49, 50!”), you are the one to huff and puff and say, “Oh, thank god.”

Spencer leans forward on the counter, gripping the edge of it as he bends all the way down to catch his breath. You skip that altogether, climbing on top of it and laying on it like a couch. You drape an arm over your face, completely limp and entirely unwilling to stand. “I hate jumping jacks,” you complain on a heavy breath.

He nods lazily. “I’m glad we agree.”

You both stay there for a while, two pathetic FBI agents who are far more capable of even more physical exertion than this has offered. Derek would tsk if he was here.

Spencer recovers first, but only because you allow him to (you don’t want to move yet, and if you act long enough then he might actually carry you to bed). He runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll put your shark in the microwave.”

This makes you forget that you’re pretending to be completely incapacitated. The shark in question is a small heatable stuffed animal named Nadia that smells like lavender. During your month-long hyperfixation on sharks, Spencer bought it for you as a gift because he thought you’d like it. He was right, as Nadia sleeps in bed with the two of you now on most nights.

You sit up, raising a slow hand in his direction as you fawn over him. “Thank you, honey.” He lets you take his hand, pulling him in to kiss him gently.

You and Spencer have been together for a while, and you’ve been saying “I love you”s for a good amount of time, but Spencer has yet to (and will likely never) master the art of casualty when it comes to telling you he loves you. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to give you a brief call over his shoulder, or a passing kiss on the forehead as he mumbles it into the side of your head.

He says it in an in-your-face kind of way that you adore. He stands so close, kissing your forehead and your lips, and really any part of your face that suits him as he grins. “I love you.” He takes care in whispering it against your lips, your mouths touching with each consonant.

You hum. “Love you, too.” His hands rub your palms, and he kisses your lips again before reluctantly pulling away to go retrieve your shark. You smile as you watch him leave, grabbing your mug and cradling it in your hands as you take small sips. You do feel tired, so at least everything is working.

Spencer is holding Nadia in his hands like a baby before he sets it in the microwave, the both of you standing side to side, bodies touching, as you watch it spin around and around and around in very slow circles. You rest your head on his shoulder while you watch. He’s afraid to move and scare you away (like he could ever scare you away).

Before the microwave can beep, you open the door. He grabs the shark from where it sat, handing it to you like sacred text. “Good?” he asks, waiting as you take the weighted stuffed animal in your hands and feel its warmth. It’s very nice.

“Perfect.”

That makes him happy.

With an arm around your shoulder, he takes you both to bed, turning off the lights as he goes. Taking one last generous sip from your tea, you snuggle in the bed next to him, and as grabby as you are, he's the one holding you like he's going to make sure you never leave.

You hold your warmed plush to your chest, letting out a long breath as you rest against Spencer. “What do you wanna hear?” he asks, already flipping through his mind palace to unlock all the stuff he knows just to lull you to sleep.

You've always insisted hearing the sound of his voice helps you sleep (in a good way, not in the “listening to you speak is a snooze fest” kind of way). He knows there's a study on it, it's scientific, but there's always going to be the tiniest part of him that doesn't believe you (though he'll entertain the idea because he loves you).

“Um…” you wonder, your mind suddenly going blank as you try to find something for him to talk about. “Give me the history of…” you shake your head, “bottle tops.”

He furrows his brow, though his grin betrays him (as per usual). “Bottle tops?”

“Yeah?”

“Why bottle tops?”

You shrug, closing your eyes and letting your finger rub into his shirt. “I don't know.”

He shakes his head like he's sick of you, though he could never be sick of you. He's surely sick with you with how dizzy you make him every time he sees you. “Okay then…” he mumbles, wondering where to start. He keeps his voice soft, but he can't seem to keep it slow.

“The crown bottle cap was invented in 1892 by William Painter–”

“Why do you know about this?”

It was partially a challenge, choosing bottle tops. Sometimes you name random things just to see if he actually knows these things, and he surprises you every time with information he's a total nerd for knowing.

He tilts his head, glancing at you. “Why do you know so much about sharks?”

You hum, laying back down. “Touché.”

He smiles. You feel his thumb stroke your shoulder, a slow and steady thing that easily makes you putty in his arms. “As I was saying,” he says, all sass but also too much of a dork to work, “the name ‘crown’ was chosen because the cap resembled the crown of the British queen…”

It doesn't take long to drift off as he speaks, his loving hands and loving voice and loving lips the perfect remedy for your overactive mind. You could listen to him talk all day.

Criminal Minds taglist: @queermaxwooo @mdanon027 @lilianhallee @hpstuff244444 @thegr8estpuff @niktwazny303 @bubbles2300 @hiireadstuff @chloelmao67 @feyresqueen @hbwrelic Tag yourself here...

[vbecker10]

Easily Distracted (Part 2)

Part 1 / (Part 3 in progress)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x female reader (Y/N) - reader has ADHD

Summary: You've recently graduated from the SHIELD Training Academy and you couldn't be more excited or more nervous to start working as a probationary agent. You study and train, trying every way possible to prepare yourself for your evaluation in three months but your ADHD threatens to derail your progress, and so does Loki. Captain Rogers sees you struggling to succeed and steps in to help you in any way he can.

Background: Female reader has ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) with the following symptoms: inattention, hyperactivity, difficulty listening and finishing tasks, losing important things frequently, becoming distracted or sidetracked easily, trouble following instructions, difficulty staying organized and managing time

There is a knock on your door and you laugh as you get up, "Either the pizza guy is getting a big tip or-"

Your voice cuts off when you open the door and see Steve Rogers standing in the hall of your apartment building. "Hello Y/N," he says, his smile is warm and friendly but it does little to calm the nerves that suddenly spread through you.

You panic and without thinking, step back into your apartment and close the door abruptly in his face. You can hear his surprised laughter through the door as you press your back to it and your mind races. Captain America is at my apartment! Why is he here? How does he even know where I live? Am I in trouble for quitting? Agent Hill said I could drop off my ID badge and tablet by the end of the week, maybe they decided I'm too forgetful and sent him to pick them up? Oh my God... I'm wearing my freaking pajamas in the middle of the day! I must look like an unemployed loser! You look down at the shorts you've had since college and a loose fitting, slightly bleach stained t-shirt, cringing with embarrassment.

He knocks again and you respond, "Yeah, just a minute."

You run into your bedroom and throw on a pair of jeans but when you go to grab a shirt from the closet, your focus shifts. Without realizing it, you begin to pick up the few pieces of dirty clothing that missed the hamper last night and place them inside it. You know there's no reason why Steve would come into your room but you find yourself needing to finish the task now that you started it. When grab your hoodie from the back of your desk chair, you see a single sneaker on the floor by your dresser. Turning in a small circle, you sigh deeply when you can't find the other one. "Where did you go?" you mumble as you wander into the living room searching for the missing shoe while holding its partner.

Steve knocks again, this time a bit louder to remind you that he is in fact still standing in the hall outside of your apartment.

"Shit," you swear under your breath as you turn back into your room. You toss the single shoe back where you found it and put on the first shirt you grab when you reach into the closet. Pulling you bedroom door shut, you head back to the living room.

You pause briefly to tidy up the coffee table, brushing off any crumbs onto the floor and grabbing your empty coffee mug. Once in the kitchen, you open the dishwasher and groan when you remember it's full of clean dishes you have yet to put away. Steve knocks again and you nearly drop the mug in the sink in your rush to answer the door.

"Hi," he says, a smile still on his face when you pull the door open. You force a smile in return, trying to hide how frantic you feel. He puts his foot just inside the threshold to your apartment, "Just in case you try to slam the door on me again."

You laugh nervously and play with the hair tie on your wrist, spinning it and snapping it against your skin. "Sorry about that," you say without offering an excuse for your behavior.

"Can I come in now?" he asks, his mood still unaffected by your anxiousness.

You notice he's holding your pizza and shrug as you joke, "Sure, since you brought lunch."

He laughs but it does little to hide his embarrassment, "Yeah, the delivery guy was pretty determined to get a selfie with me."

"Is that why you were knocking so loudly?" you giggle at his sudden awkwardness.

He closes the door behind him, nodding, "A little bit, yes."

You realize you owe him for the pizza and grab your wallet from your bag. Pulling out a twenty you ask, "How much does Captain America tip?"

"Don't worry about it," he reassures you, waving your money away with one hand as he puts the food on your coffee table. "I'll send in a expense report, this is a working lunch," he says and you stare at him, unsure if he's joking or not.

"So... you're here on official SHIELD business then?" you ask when he takes a seat on your couch, flipping open the lid to the pizza box.

"I'm here to find out why you quit," he answers as he looks up at you.

"Cause I was going to fail out," you sigh and sit heavily next to him.

"It's only been a week," he takes out a slice from the box.

"Oh, we need plates," you get up, ignoring his comment and heading into the kitchen. You open the cabinet, grab two plates and a few pieces of paper towel since you forgot to buy napkins for the second week in a row. You place the items you gathered on your counter and open the fridge to get drinks then go back into the living room.

Steve tilts his head when he looks at the can of soda in his hand. "What?" you ask, trying to figure out what you did wrong. "Sorry, I have water too if you want," you point towards your kitchen.

"You went in for plates," he reminds you.

"Shit," you get up again to retrieve them from the counter with the paper towels. "Sorry," you apologize for what feels like the hundredth time since he arrived at your apartment.

"It's fine," he smiles. He opens his soda, takes a few sips then returns to your previous conversation. "Now, why did you quit?"

"I told you, I was failing," you shrug, looking down to avoid making eye contact with the super soldier.

"You were struggling, that's not the same thing," Steve clarifies.

"I guess it's not but Loki-" you start to explain but he cuts you off.

"What did Laufeyson do?" his mood shifts, even the slightest hint of a smile gone from his face.

"Nothing, he just told me the truth," you fidget with the tab on your soda can until you pop it off and toss it on the table.

"Tell me exactly what he said," Steve puts his plate down on the table and wait for you to begin.

------------------------------------------------

"You will not succeed here," Loki interrupts you and your mouth hangs open at his harsh statement. "I have seen how easily distracted you are, how confused you get with even basic instructions. You are late to everything, you still wander this building utterly lost and you cannot focus."

"I can do better," you tell him, your voice shaky as he lists all the flaws you've been trying to manage. "I made it through the academy, I can do this," you say, trying to convince yourself and the God of Mischief.

"I don't believe that is true," he shakes his head and before you can argue back he continues. "Is the jet simply supposed to wait to take off for a mission while you wander aimlessly through the Tower looking for the correct floor? How many times should your commanding officer be expected to explain your orders because a noise distracted you during a briefing? Will you be as careless turning in your paperwork and mission reports as you are with your research assignments? What's to say you will not lose classified documents as easily as you misplace your ID badge or cell phone?"

You pull at the hair tie around your wrist, twisting it anxiously as Loki asks question after question you can't answer.

He moves away from the desk, taking a step forward to close the small distance between you. You glance over his shoulder towards the closed door then back into his cold eyes. "You are going to be the reason missions fail and agents get hurt or killed," he states, no hint of doubt in his voice. "You should not be here and you know it."

------------------------------------------------

"Laufeyson said that to you?" Steve asks when you finish.

You nod, remembering every word in detail. The conversation had replayed over and over in your mind all night, keeping you awake.

His jaw tightens as if he's trying to keep from saying whatever he's thinking. After a moment of silence between you, he sighs deeply, "He shouldn't have spoken to you like that. If he had a concern or issue with your performance, he should have come to me and I would have discussed it with you at your review next week."

"Another week wouldn't have made a difference," you shrug. "And now you don't have to be the bad guy who fired me." Steve opens his mouth to say something but you shake your head and keep talking, "I barely made it through the academy because of my stupid ADHD. Loki is right. I'm not sure why I thought the probationary period would be any easier to handle." You groan and put your face in your hands.

He furrows his brow and asks, "What's ADHD?" Then he quickly adds, "You don't need to tell me if it's too personal."

"No, I-" you pause, a bit stunned by his question. "Sorry, I just don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't know what that was."

"You apologize a lot," Steve notes then shifts his focus back to his nearly forgotten pizza.

"Sorry-" you cringe and he smiles, shaking his head a bit. "Force of habit I guess," you shrug and pick up your plate but you're not interested in eating. Apologizing was something you did frequently as your ADHD often left you feeling as if you did something wrong or forgot something important.

"I don't think I've ever talked to someone who hasn't heard of it but I guess since you're from a really, really, really long time ago maybe it wasn't a big thing then," you bite your lip, trying to think if you've ever had to explain it to anyone before.

"Two reallys was enough, thanks," he laughs.

"Right, sorry," you apologize without thinking. Steve lets out another short laugh, his hand resting momentarily on your knee which causes you to look away quickly in an effort to hide the blush that creeps across your cheeks. He needs to stop being cute and nice and ridiculously good looking because I am having a hard enough time trying not to have a crush on him as it is, you think.

"You were saying..." he motions for you to continue and you nod.

"Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD," you clarify the acronym for him and he nods.

"It sounds familiar but I'm afraid I don't know much about it," Steve admits.

"Most people think it's just being easily bored or when you distracted by something shiny but there are a lot stereotypes about it. People even claim they have it as a joke or because they don't know how serious it can be and honestly that gets really annoying," you tell him.

"How does it affect your training?" he asks.

You fidget with the hair tie around your wrist again, your eyes focusing on the floor by your feet. "In my case it causes hyperactivity which makes it hard to sit still or listen to someone for long periods of time. It also makes me forgetful. That's why I still get lost getting around the Tower and I always seem to have misplaced or lost something. You've seen how easily I get distracted or sidetracked doing even simply tasks." You point vaguely towards the kitchen to remind him of the plate situation but don't look up to see that he nods. "I'm late so often because I have issues managing my time, I set alarms but it doesn't always help. It's a daily struggle to keep myself organized at home and at work with all the assignments and training courses."

Steve sits quietly and when you finish you lift your head, anxiously waiting for him to agree with Loki's assessment of you.

"You have to deal with all of that and still passed the academy?" he asks and you nod. "That's really impressive."

"Impressive?" you can't help the confused expression that spreads across your face.

"The academy is designed to be difficult physically, mentally and academically," he starts to explain. "That fact that you succeeded with the grades you received while dealing with all of these issues, yeah I would say that was impressive."

"You know what grades I got?" you ask in surprise.

He smiles, "Who do you think reads all of the applications?"

"Right..." you nod, feeling dumb for forgetting that's literally part of his job.

"Y/N, do you want to be a SHIELD agent?" he asks.

You nod quickly, "More than anything. It's all I wanted to do since high school."

"Then you can't quit," Steve says gently. "I know it will be difficult but I am willing to help you any way I can. I want you to succeed here."

"But what about Loki?" you can't help but remember the look in his eyes when he told you that you would cause missions to fail.

"He doesn't know as much as he thinks he does," Steve says. "Besides, don't you want to see the look on his face when you prove him wrong?"

You laugh, "Yeah."

"Then it's settled," he stands up and you get up as well. He walks towards your door and you follow him closely.

"Well not really," you tell him. "I did quit, I sent in all the paperwork."

"I asked Agent Hill not to process it until I spoke to you," he smiles. "As far as anyone knows, you're taking a sick day."

"Really?" you ask, unable to hide your excitement.

He nods, "You better be on time tomorrow."

"I will be, I promise," you smile and hug him tightly but when his arms don't hold you back you let go quickly. With an awkward laugh you say, "That was totally inappropriate right?"

He laughs and shakes his head as he opens the door to your apartment, "I'll see you bright and early Y/N."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[byoldervine]

What Common Writing Phrases Actually Mean

For years I assumed a lot of the common writing phrases that get thrown around were just generic things that were never actually going to help people write because it doesn't actually tell you what to do. But recently I've been able to work out the meanings for a few of them and I'd like to share them with my fellow writers, especially for my fellow NDs with literal thinking

"Write what you know" - it doesn't mean that you should only write what you're already familiar with, it means to do your research, gain knowledge and go from there; if you haven't done the research, don't write about it *until you have*, not just shrug your shoulders and find something else without ever trying to write it. Additionally, things will have more of an emotional impact if you write about things you yourself have experienced, or when you tie in your own experiences to something; you’ve probably (and hopefully) never had acid thrown in your face, but you’ve probably gotten shampoo in your eye and can amp that experience up

"Writing is a discipline"/"Write even when you're not motivated" - my reaction to this was always that, since I was only doing this for fun and didn't have any deadline to meet, why should I force myself to write even when I don't want to? But what they're trying to say with this is to make sure you have some level of consistent progress, even if it's only one sentence every week; having a minimum level of progress you can count on is an absolute lifesaver when writing, as well as being motivating in its own right

"Edit as you go" - this one really doesn't mean to change up your entire chapter every single time you get a new sentence down, it means to take breaks from writing new chapters to reflect back on what you've previously written and make sure to fix up any inconsistencies while the next few chapters are still fresh in your mind. Outside of SPAG mistakes or quick one-sentence-or-less tweaks I generally wouldn't advise properly editing the same chapter you just wrote simply because you could easily burn yourself out speedrunning to the final draft before you even get to chapter two

[natt-writes]

~7 tips for stay focused while writing.~

1. Make sure to drink lots of water/tea and have a healthy meal shortly before. This will help to nourish your brain, which in turn will help you to write and stay focused.

2. Find a calm, comfortable location. Stay away from places with lots of sounds and distractions, instead try to find somewhere that you can relax and enjoy the writing process. It’s even better when the location has dim lights.

3. Exercise shorty before. just going on a walk down your street and back or going on the treadmill for five minutes can help to get rid of excess energy and make you less restless and distracted.

4. Set up a reward system. Maybe have a small piece of candy after every two sentences, watch an episode of tv every time you finish a paragraph, or do a fun activity after every chapter. This will help motivate you to finish up your work for the day.

5. Set a daily word count. Setting a daily word count can help you to feel like you’ve achieved your goals, even if they are small. Start with a couple hundred words each day and then work your way up to your desired amount. Checking how close you are to achieving your daily word count can help you to feel more more motivated and productive. (I use nanowrimo.org but you can use whatever work tracker you want!)

6. Listen to music. I like to listen to music that suits the tone of the chapter I’m writing, as it can help you to feel more immersed and focused. It’s best to listen to the music on a lower volume so that it doesn’t overwhelm you and just blends into the background.

7. Be gentle with yourself. Not every day is going to be amazingly productive. Everyone has days where they are distracted or don’t get much work done. Don’t beat yourself up about it and instead try to relax, have a nice day and get a good nights sleep. You’re doing really great, You deserve to take a self care day!

[heartbeat-eras]

I think she misunderstood the assignment…

Picture this… you’ve fallen asleep on my chest. The steady rhythm of my heart is your lullaby, beating in the mid-70s, each pulse a soft echo between us. I close my eyes, sensing her calm as she matches the warmth of your breathing, the space around us filled with that quiet, reassuring tempo.

But then, something changes. I feel her pace quicken—not much at first, just a little, as if testing the waters. I brush it off, thinking maybe it’s just a passing rush. But then, faster and faster, she races past 90. Her thuds grow stronger, rising with a fierce energy that seems to come from nowhere. She keeps getting faster. A little jump at a time… up to 107. My heart…our heart..pounds beneath you, almost like she’s trying to wake you with each beat.

A thousand thoughts fly through my mind. Part of me wants to reach out and wake you, to tell you what’s happening and why she’s racing like this. But I don’t. I don’t want to disturb you or worry you. Instead, I focus on staying calm, grounding myself, hoping she’ll slow back down, that the steady rhythm will return before you feel her wild pace.

As she beats on, I wonder if you’ll notice—if her racing pulse might find its way into your dreams. Or if you’ll just stay there, peaceful and warm, oblivious to the storm beneath your ear….

When I’m sure you’re deep asleep, I take my leave. Electrodes quickly applied, her rhythm displayed in real time, monitoring each pounding beat. She’s slowed a little, but she’s still going strong and fast… I know she’s going to be ok. She always is.

I hit record. I’ve saved this because I know you’d want to see her like this. To make sure each time she beats its perfect. No skipped beats. That she’s healthy… as you watch and listen I wonder you feel that she is? If you were awake how what would you have done to calm her? All I know is next time this happens I wish you were there and awake, your sole focus is my heart, helping her calm down from whatever she was facing.

———————————

This was a collab with ChatGPT loosely based on these beats. I’ve found that freakishly it can zero in on the experiences and articulate what I want to say but better. Let me know if you’re enjoying these stories and if they enhance the moments?

Steth - cardio IV

Location - pulm