#felt like making an updated one
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 7 months ago
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Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU
Act 1, Omake 1 (Extra): Master of Time - (here)
Act 1, Omake 2 (Extra): Barrier Team. - read here
Act 1: What was left behind. - read here
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reineydraws · 1 year ago
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renkaza sketches based off the opening scene of the bear 2x09 bc the shots were nice :') less nice was me squinting at the low-lit scenes trying to make out their features and getting mad at my screen's glare but i digress 😂
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iilmunchkiin · 15 days ago
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Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.
(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )
god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.
Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)
But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....
I was a fool
Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go
⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"
(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)
But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."
And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."
I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH
SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j
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shhroomer · 2 months ago
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You guys ever read the most beautiful, jaw dropping, feet kicking, leaves you with a feeling of yearning fic that it possesses you? yea that was me anyways here’s vampire Kyle and his annoying assigned bodyguard who’s also a witch
(ALSO IF YOU WANT TO READ SAID FANFIC ITS A KYLE X READER FIC CALLED ITS FALLING FOR THE IDEA BY FEDOSAURUSREX ON AO3 THAT INSPIRED ME TO WHIP THIS WHOLE AU UP)
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ra-vio · 1 month ago
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I miss nier. I have to watch the automata anime
#nier#nier automata#A2#2B#9S#great perfect! what collab was this? or something a cafe event? i dont remember thats how long its been#or was it a clothes collab hold on now i have to find out#IT WAS DON QUIXOTE. you went and got acyrllics shirts cards etc idunno i didnt go these were the designs#it happened in july. that's how long I've had this sketched out? or at last thats how long ive had A2 sketched out#the 2b and 9s were sketched last year in like August. they were wearing the shirts they made in the anime#my motivation died before i could finish especially because i already drew the shirts and class started again i did not want to line#it was the week of dad nier's birthday. this is what was replaced cause i drew dad instead and that took a slot in my art making machine#so when the don quixote collab came out i was like great i already have a base and added A2 in cause i felt bad i never draw her#A2 is my favorite but like. I do not be acting that way#in fact i drew the shirts 3 times cause they had like 3 designs each. but i was just gonna draw the aji o kutta shirt again#cause its my favorite#my life update is ive had two different ppl be like 'you're cool lets be friends i wanna know more about you' and i keep thinking about it#cause that's not...ive got alarm sirens in my head. i make my friends by we keep bumping into each other in class and eventually get lunch#or in the case of my one classmate we came from the same school and had the same classes together for like 3 semesters he was like#are you stalking me like BRO?? i miss him#that or my last friend fed me attention like you might feed a wild deer popcorn in the woods and thats how we got close#so pardon me if im unfamiliar with 'i wanna get to know you' cause that's not. that's not...you want something from me.#i dont have time to make new friends right now though i am drowning in assignments#my current friends already have a hard time getting me to go anywhere. i was supposed to go see Look Back w them but i was so tired#'fed me attention' a better example is getting hearts with someone in harvest moon or stardew valley. im like that
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dawnthefluffyduck · 2 months ago
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Doodles based on "Yet Another Nightmare" by Catroic on Ao3 (highly recommend reading, its very good)
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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Thinking about my old pkmn ask blog
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faaun · 7 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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shinmiyovvi · 2 months ago
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That's Not My Neighbor Timeline
This timeline will show some tidbits of what would be the story of my ocs before the events of the game itself because I have my brain working late at night and I want to share this with you guys :3. This will contain some spoilers about the formation of the D.D.D. and the beginning of the Trojan Horse Project.
1945
Oswald D. Keppler founded the Department of Doppelganger Detection as the General Director of the said department.
The Trojan Horse Project was funded by the Military Department of the Government with Keppler as the General Director of the project and Dr. W. Afton as the Lead Scientist of the said project. 
Some of the prominent employees of the department are Dr. Stanford Abelforth and Dr. Aditha Gulliver who have contributed their expertise in their specialized fields. Both are dedicated to the experiments being conducted in the lab and were praised by many.
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1946
A teenager Ollie was scribbling in his notebook about vehicles, fascinated by the world of motorsports. While engrossed with his hobby, a loud noise can be heard outside of his room. His mother cried from fear as she tried to grab the telephone to contact the police, only for the doppelganger that was in the form of his father to kill her before she could utter a word through the phone. Curious and frightened, Ollie rushes out of his room to get the whole glimpse of the disgruntled form of his father. 
Before the doppelganger can kill Ollie, Lazaro happens to arrive earlier than expected as he quickly grabs Ollie away, causing him to have a scar on his right eye. He then grabs his pistol and shoots the doppelganger 4 times. Despite knowing that it's just the doppelganger of his older brother, he feels guilty for doing it. After the events had happened, Ollie then lived with his nonna and aunt throughout his life before moving in to live with his uncle.
In the same year, Ruslan Gulliver, the husband of Aditha, was hired by the D.D.D. as the first doorman of the apartment building that he would be working on. Throughout his job, he encounters different doppelgangers of the tenants in which he is capable of diminishing the differences between the original and the latter. 
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1947
Aditha begins to feel unease with the project as she only tells her concerns about Stanford which he is the only person she could trust. Although she also wants to reveal the purpose and objective of the project to her husband Ruslan while having a dilemma whether to reveal it or not, her life is cut short after finding out that Afton happens to hear her conversation with Stanford. Her death was orchestrated by Afton who sent out a doppelganger that was in the form of her husband to “silence” her before she could even report this to the authorities despite the project being funded by the government as she believes this is considered “immoral” and “dangerous” to humanity.
The real Ruslan finds out about this from Stanford as he goes to save her, only to see her dead by the said doppelganger. Out of pure rage, he grabs a sledgehammer, hitting the doppelganger several times before he is now covered in blood. The next year, he quit his job as a doorman before returning years later as a building janitor to reveal the truth beneath the lies of the department.
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1951
Delora is an office clerk who works the 9-to-5 shift at a business company. After her shift, she plans on visiting her parents after a tiring day at work from filing documents to answering phone calls through the telephone. When she arrived at the Steding Residence, she noticed the door was open. Curious, she went inside the house, hearing faint weeping noises from the kitchen. To her surprise, she saw her “aunt” from her mother’s side covered in blood as the cold lifeless body of her parents was lying on the floor.
Her “aunt” told her a fabricated story where a doppelganger got inside the house while she was visiting her parents to bring some apple pie. She also stated that she already called the police and was on the way to the scene. Delora noticed the slight difference between her aunt as she doesn't recall her having amber eyes and her mother has grayish ones as well as a mole on her chin. Not buying the story, she grabs a kitchen knife and stabs the doppelganger that was impersonating her aunt at least 7 times as the police arrived into the scene.
One of the officers tries to arrest her but Lazaro stops them midway from handcuffing Delora. He wants to interrogate her first from the beginning until the end of the story about the death of her parents and her alibi. She was taken to the station and asked several questions, once her alibi was considered valid, Lazaro let her go and ended the case. That day forward, Delora becomes more cautious around her surroundings as she develops mistrust of the people she happens to meet.
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1955
The business company Delora worked in suddenly went into bankruptcy, causing her to lose her job as an office clerk. While looking for other job opportunities, a mysterious man who happens to be one of the members of D.D.D. gave her a proposition of working as a doorwoman of the apartment building. He believes that her skills of telling which is the doppelganger could stop the rampant invasion of doppelgangers in the building and would be a vital help towards society. Delora was hesitant at first, but she agreed either way.
In February of the same year started her job as the doorwoman of the building in which she encountered different tenants living in each apartment room of the said resident. There she met Ruslan and Stanford who shared a distrust of the D.D.D. and told her to be mindful of the organization that hired her. Throughout her time as a doorwoman, she begins to feel doubtful of the organization as she wants to find out the truth from the lies that the government fabricated to keep the image of the D.D.D. intact. With her snooping around, Dr. Afton becomes more mindful and observant of her actions as her involvement will cause them gravely.
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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okay i was gonna make a post about how migraines feel like taking constant minecraft damage except your health bar is infinite, BUT UH. @staff WHY IS MY DESKTOP DASH COMPLETELY FUCKING REARRANGED. PUT IT BACK THIS SUCKS
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ohitslen · 5 months ago
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WOW WHAT. I UPDATED 🎉Ch. 6 of The neighbor from 311 is up!🎉
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nostalgia-tblr · 3 months ago
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I think the readers overall were not keen on that final chapter but that's okay it was my first go at the 'epilogue with a baby' structure and I may have made it overly twee or something (or maybe even not twee enough, idk) and so I shall not do it next time I write a multichapter (assuming there is a next time which is something I argue with myself about because Oh So Conflicted). But either way I don't need to write any more of that fic as it is done now. Hurrah!
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st4rstudent · 1 year ago
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Ok the fandom wiki is back to normal as of earlier, so if you accidentally stumble upon it, it'll be fine.
However please make sure to keep using the New and Improved Wiki, which is not only easier to navigate and is more pleasant, but also the new preferred wiki. (Not only to mention the various issues that Fandom wiki has). Bookmark it or something if you need to.
As future reference, it should be noted that vandalism on the fandom wiki will not help take the wiki down due to fandom's policy, despite previous otherwise thoughts (myself included) and the continuous vandalism only brings traction to it. As well as, mentioning the new wiki will have the possibility to demote and ban the current mods of the fandom wiki.
As silly as the entire thing was, please make sure to use the new wiki and refrain from going back to the old one. Especially since last night made the fandom wiki get a lot of traction.
As a reminder, here are some extensions you can use to help avoid using the fandom wiki: 1 (redirector) 2 (wiki.gg redirector) 3 (wiki indie buddy)
and here's the reddit post about it
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nonokoko13 · 10 months ago
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If I see someone else trying to defend Kalim/Jamil by attacking the other or their enjoyers and misreading and boiling down their characters by saying Kalim is stupid or how Jamil is the only one at fault in their situation I'll be the one overblotting. Why you pit two victims of an awful hierarchy system they weren't asked to be stuck with. Why you have to treat people who respectfully disagrees with you in something like a series or a character interpretation like they're criminals who must be shamed or punished with death. How do you play a game that relies on narrative without actually reading. Why can't you use the block/mute button instead of engaging in a conversation you know it will be unpleasant for all parts to make it a fight you want to win. And why I see so many mysoginy/misandry in a game that it's about a lot of male characters with a main character who can be the gender you imagine them to be
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yanderespamton78 · 5 months ago
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damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!
@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil
#appreciation post for my besties✨✨#also the tags got reallylong and rambly just me complainign about the ex friend and a quick update so feell free not to read them if you#dont wanna#theres nothing of substance in there lol#ugh god my old friend the one i made the really long post about asking for advice#i probably mentioned this but i never felt safe to talk about things i like with them#oh god i would never be able to show them defrag#and i probably wouldnt even be willing to ramble about like. the arg or smth to them#id be too worried of them making fun of me#but also they had a way of making it so i hung out with them the most even tho i didnt want to#“me and friend are going to the canteen you two wanna come?”#“[with none of my input] no me and Charlie are staying here”#the only person i felt safe talking about my interests to was a friend that i made when trying to move away frrom the toxic one#a friend who they would consistently ask if i was replacing them with and was so fucking jealous of him#in fact that friend is gollyimsoevil yea that guy#hes great he likes gay addison shit so yk bestie#also they were so good at guilt tripping that now i use their guilt tripping tactics on myself to try and get myself to do things lol#and they would make fun of me so often but GOD FORBID I MAKE FUN OF THEM#they were making fun of me to another person a few /years/ ago so i made some snarky comment about them#because i was really upset by them making fun of me#and they brought it up to me like 2 months ago before we cut them off#like dude you mock and make fun of everything i do so much that ive just stopped talking and completely zoned out whenever im around you#and youre holding some snarky remark that i made when we were like 11 /because you were making fun of me/#UGH#oh ye update on that if anyone cares it went fine they seem to have moved on and are just hanging out with different people now#they havent made any attempt to contact any of us but also havent cut us off#i havent cut them off either ive just left it#i catch them giving me and the other two friends who used to be friends with them dirty looks#but i kinda just ignore it#i have like 5 friends my age who are much much much nicer than them
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