#feelings deepened

[xuyaak]

same shape. new stuffing. (turn it around)

based on keferon’s empurata prowl au

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[feroluce]

“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.

Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.” 

“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.

Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.

He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-

Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”

“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”

The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.” 

He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”

Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.

“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.

“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.

“It's my people's word for a grave.”

Dan Heng's pencil stops.

“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.

“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.

“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”

Dan Heng swallows.

Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.

If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?

He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.

And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…

But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.

“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.

Not today. But.

Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.

Maybe someday.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

This isn't, like, the biggest deal, but I do find it funny when people are almost... surprised or shocked that converts unironically believe in judaism and also unironically align themselves with jewishness. It's just something I've seen a small handful of times and it's like... of course I (and others!) unironically believe in this stuff. I'm not putting in this work because I don't have enough going on in my life

[kacievvbbbb]

In my opinion (which admittedly doesn’t mean much) JJK is a story that could’ve and maybe should’ve gone on for much longer than it did while mha should’ve ended earlier than it did.

To me jjk feels rushed while mha feels dragged out.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

I love how Luke makes his voice deeper when playing male characters. Like his female voices are also crazy convincing but I love that he’s not afraid to make his voice very obviously deeper to play a man too, instead of using his regular voice

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

is the doctor's ethical code is just,,,,his genre? he cant Kill someone bc thats against his genre and he undoes himself (revokes his name) if he does bc he cant kill someone in the show bc thats not the genre so if he does he breaks the show that has its name am i making sense

it doesnt necessarily matter the why or the how or the means or the ends. it doesnt matter to do other ("worse" if you like, thats subjective, but) things to people bc it's not Murder. the hard line is on Murder, thats all. you cant do Murder. youre Doctor Who. right?

and if people die not bc of you but bc you failed to stop it. well. thats like. almost murder. too close for comfort. bc if you cant save them. then, again, your name is Doctor Who. your show falls apart if you do Murder, or if you cant save them A Bit Too Much. if you for sure cant save them. you will always in the end save them, or some of them at least, bc youre Doctor Who. if you cant, amy voice: what is the point of you. and doctor who kills himself if no one's watching

[aq2003]

omfg . radio play version of much ado with david as benedick from 2001

[quaranmine]

the whole jellie poll incident is such a mess like. nobody on this site knows how to act normal. mcytblr especially included. i don't like the op at all either, i thought the "joke" was cruel and the original apology backhanded but like...yall are dogpiling and harassing people too now. if you don't want people to tell you to kill yourself for liking mcyt, you ALSO cannot be telling people to kill themselves. it is not justified or cute when you do it. like can we ALL just step back and act normal. it really annoys me that our fandom has such a bad reputation but anytime there's an incident like this, all we do is prove we're a mob. i'm not saying everyone should just be fine with being insulted all the time but i think at this point (with the poll) it's a whole conglomeration that should probably just be put to rest. every time that post crosses my dash it has like 2k more notes and it makes me worried that it's containment breaching so badly. just feels like a ticking time bomb to me idk

[nopefer-art-tu]

so i was thinking abt the old brokeback mountain forum threads i had stumbled upon last yr and i remember coming across a very lengthy one where people were debating the nature of ennis and jack's relationship during their days on brokeback mountain. specifically, people were debating about whether or not ennis and jack kissed at all during those first few months of friendship and fucking.

i know what y'all may be thinking: but nickie, didn't they literally kiss, like, super passionate style during the unfamous second-night-in-the-tent (or SNIT, as the BetterMost forum users dubbed it) scene?

but see, the thing is that in the original short story Annie Proulx never mentioned them kissing during their time on the mountain. In fact, the first (and only) time kissing is mentioned is during their reunion. In an interview, Ang Lee had said that the whole SNIT scene was written into the film to help audiences better understand the budding passion and love between Ennis and Jack. Otherwise, they felt viewers wouldn't quite get the depth of feelings that they had for each other, and thought they would've been lost as to why it hurt them both so bad to be separated earlier than they'd anticipated.

of course i love the idea that they eased into intimacy so early on in their relationship that they made out a ton while herding on the mountains, but imo, it's also kind of interesting to think about the reunion scene being their first kiss.

in her Story to Screenplay book essay, Annie Proulx said that ranchers would often hire two guys to tend a flock together so that they could 'poke each other' on the lonesome days in the mountains. In some ways, Ennis and Jack fucking was a normal and anticipated part of the job—a 'one-shot thing' that would occur simply due to circumstance. She said what was unusual about Ennis and Jack's case is that the two had fallen into a deep, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love during their time together, thus negating the whole 'one-shot' thing Ennis had declared it to be.

with that in mind, i can see why so many people believed that they never kissed during their initial months of relationship building. They both could have justified it by thinking that as long as they didn't kiss, their tryst didn't mean anything special, nor would it make them queer for going at it like rabbits. Then they both go through the turmoil of losing each other, not knowing why it was they felt so bad about going their separate ways, and go through four long years of silence before "the first sign of life" appears in the form of a postcard.

Jack pulls up in Ennis' driveway, and Ennis is so overcome with joy and desire that first thing his (alcohol-muddled) mind thinks to do is kiss the living daylights out of Jack, and in that moment—as those old forum users had put it—that was basically the first time either of them were able to acknowledge to themselves that the summer on the mountain in '63 meant a whole lot more to them than it should have.

i dunno. i think it's a really interesting subject to think about, one that gets broached in fics very rarely. would like to hear your all's thoughts, if any!

[toadallytickles]

Made it home safely from another successful tickle gathering~!🪶 This weekend was SO MUCH FUN, I felt like I deepened a lot of connections I’ve made previously, had a really good heart-to-heart with a good friend, and felt some parts of myself heal. I heard some things I really needed to hear. I already know drop is gonna suck..

Anyway.. need someone local to quench my constant tickle thirst.. tickle gatherings are too far apart..! 😩💦

[july-19th-club]

we talk a lot about how the shtriga case was bad parenting and horrible just being-a-person-ing from john back when the boys were KIDS but this time im talking about how . it's also horrible parenting when the kids are adults. like you held the guilt of that night over your son's head in his childhood, you looked at him different, you know? and that was worse. and THEN he's a grown twenty-something and he hasn't seen you in half a year because you're back on your old obsessive quest and you keep him busy by sending him cases to work. you send him this one because you know your son, and you know that when he realizes what he's hunting here, the same child-devouring creature he once left his little brother vulnerable to (although you never told him what he needed to look out for, and never gave him a reason behind the orders, and never explained), and that he will hound himself over it and insist upon finishing it and you allow him to do the job and you allow him to continue to take responsibility for your decisions seventeen years ago, when you left an anxious eight-year-old alone with a preschooler for three solid days to be bait for a thing that would kill them. he finishes this case thinking he's finally righted the wrong from back then, finally made up for his failure (as a CHILD) to protect his brother, to follow the orders, to obey and behave, and he'll never be corrected about this. he will insist to the boy in this episode that it's not that kid's fault, he will insist that it is not really his father's fault, no, dad gave me an order and i didn't listen. don't. don't. but nobody will ever tell him this one wasn't his fault

[transloumand]

i feel like i just need to remind y'all that louis did actually deal drugs, probably not personally but he does make two mentions of it (ep1 confessional scene - "i profit off the miseries of other men and i do it easy, drugs, liquor, women," and when he meets daniel at mary's - "i know you're struggling, i have what you're looking for, high quality, befitting a man of my tastes" said to an addict looking for drugs) i saw something the other day where people were getting mad at someone for assuming louis deals in drugs but like..he does/did, it's just not his main enterprise

[love-too]

It's difficult for me to put this into words, but I think being aro can feel quite alienating when you're a girl. Not because of exclusion, but because of expectations. I noticed this in the past month while frequenting a new environment that's mostly men and just a few women. I get along with these women, but I felt like there was a missed layer of connection. Now, seeing it from the outside, I honestly think I messed up by not talking about romance/relationships when I was asked. I think that my not saying a lot was not taken as "she's just not interested" but more as "she thinks she's above all that" or "she doesn't trust me enough to open up" and, honestly, it's not the first time it happens but I never manage to catch it before i ruin it.

[itspileofgoodthings]

I mean I’m obsessed with crash landing on you because it’s like if a hallmark movie was good and that is fascinating to my brain and healing to my heart.