#feeling the Pain today folks
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Been thinking about this scene a lot. How it echoes their conversation from before.
A response. A solution to what Beatrice told her. Ava, who was so against dying—because death is not a reward, just an empty chasm that renders everything meaningless—now prepared to lay down her life if it means Beatrice gets to rest, if it means that the war inside Beatrice’s head will stop.
Beatrice, who is bound by duty but finds her heart pulled in another direction. Who might want to run with Ava but can’t. She’s a Sister Warrior. Her duty is to the Halo and its Bearer. So she will tell Ava to run, because that is the best way to protect her. To protect the mission. Because that is the only way both of her goals align. As long as the Halo remains safe, so does Ava.
But it also means that she can’t join Ava. Her Sisters are dying. She has a duty to the Order. To her mission (protect the Halo, protect Ava) and so she will watch over from afar. She may not be ready, but she is prepared.
But Ava is not. Ava, who will not leave unless Beatrice is by her side. If she runs, Beatrice will run herself ragged, spending every waking minute to keep everyone safe. Beatrice, who will never get a chance to live her life because she spent that time making sure Ava could live. And Ava doesn’t want that. Not unless they do it together.
So Ava chooses. Chooses the mission for Beatrice. Breaks away first, obscures her true plan until the very last minute. (But Beatrice still finds her. Beatrice, who will always follow Ava. Always by her side until the very end.)
To be a Halo Bearer is to be a martyr. Ava rejected this fate until the very end. And even after that. Choosing to go into the portal, choosing to be separated from Beatrice so that they may both live.
Since the very beginning, Ava knows she has been living on borrowed time. But god damn it, she’s going to steal as much of it as she can.
Ava chooses to go through the Arc and Beatrice chooses to let her go. Both strengthened by their faith in the other, because they will always find their way back to each other.
Ava has never gone somewhere that’s kept Beatrice from following. Even now.
#okay so this may have gotten away from me a little bit#hope it makes sense#but the word vomit just comes out and what are u supposed to do#feeling the Pain today folks#have so many thoughts on the choices ava and bea made this season#godd#avatrice#ava silva#sister beatrice#warrior nun#warrior nun s2#warrior nun spoilers#wn spoilers#wn analysis#goose speaks
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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My favorite thing is seeing notes on the one post that brought back my chronic pain resurface. I’m so so proud of it but it’s been six months to a year since I made it and the repercussions of it is still biting me in the ass.
#I was able to sleep without braces and pain for 8 beautiful months until I made that post#I won’t say what one it is bc like… I feel anxious to make other folks think bad that they’re replying to the post that caused me pain?#idk but man its full of the sucks. you never realize how much you use your hands until you literally have to restrict the jobs you interview#in based on the amount of turning motions you do. and just how much hand motions you do in general#sorry this is one hell of a rant I went bar hopping with buddies and have some Big Emotions Today#bones rants
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biting and thrashing and tearing and maiming
#i tested negative today but ohhhhh folks i do not feel too hot ; ; ;#my whole chest just feels sore and gunky#hard to focus . . . . . . . . . . . .#like. i am. reassured that these symptoms are lining up more with the last illness i had (some kind of flu or disease)#as opposed to when i first had covid (i would have had intense chest pain and a high fever today if that was the case)#but even still ; ;#aughghhhhh weeping and wailing and biting and maiming I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS ! ! ! ! ! ! !
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Things I've thought about this morning:
-How buying one of the pieces of merch I've found from a creator I like might actually be an accurate shirt for me to wear in general (I've stretched for today, and the bones feel so Squishy, as reference to it w/out explaining more bc. I don't want to.)
-How I used to not fully understand why people w/arthritis were rather grumpy to outright mean in the morning (including patients at the clinic and also my grandparents.)
After all, my joints sucked even when I was a kid and it hurt constantly (likely undx'd juvenile arthritis, got mentioned once by my doc back then and then never tested for so who knows), but so what?
Surely all joints for everyone are like this and age doesn't affect that in any way, so there was no need to feel instantly grumpy once you're awake for the day (though I do want to say that you still shouldn't be like. Taking out that feeling on other people, the patients and my grandparents were in the wrong for that in my opinion, but I give them more grace re: that now.)
-Guys. Age affects it. It hurts so much worse. I stretched extra this morning purely bc I'd rather the bones and joints feel Squishy and slightly less Painful than just Painful and Sort of Squishy. The sounds I'm making when I get up are even louder than they used to be. I think the neighbours can hear me sometimes. I don't like that.
Idk what the point of this post was going to be aside from me whinging abt my joints, so let's call the moral of this post:
Maybe I should ask for that merch for Xmas from my family since all we're doing to celebrate this year apparently is buying gifts. Legit, Mum has no idea if they're even meeting up back in ND. Wild. But I digress; they don't know what else to get me so. Squishy Bones Shirt.
If you can safely stretch/yoga/something along those lines at some point in your day, do it. I did yoga more when I was younger and I never should have let myself lapse with it. I'm back to doing more of it but even then. The bones. The joints. Save your bones and joints and just stretch a little. That or join me in making noises such as 'OUaghh' and 'ARghhfuck' and occasionally 'woahlksjifhdsafhnj god I think I'm stuck here' whenever you need to get out of bed/up from the floor/out of a chair/sometimes while just like. Standing there doing dishes or queuing or staring blankly at a wall Blair Witch-style.
#text post#usual disclaimer that I am fine bc like I say the joints have been Angry since I was young but#even after stretching I'm making the Sounds today and that almost bothers me more than my knees feeling like they're gonna combust#and I needed to 'old man yells at cloud' about it#also some folks were in my inbox v kindly worried abt me going sort of quiet w/personal posts lately#so this is me showing I'm alive! I'm okay! Just dealing w/some mental and personal life shit#that involves several out of my control factors that I'm waiting to hear how they'll shake out#so the spoons have been low to do more than like. survey sites a chore a day some viddy game as a treat and trying to find a way to sit/lay#that my body won't instantly hate despite hating every other way I'm attempting to sit/lay#ayyyy I brought the tags back to my joints! mini circular tag essay thing; that's fun#unlike joint pain so fr. if u can safely stretch go do one now. for me. wherever you are. now. in traffic class wherever. NOW.
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y’all i have made a terrible mistake
#been having weird and concerning unexplained cardiac symptoms for a few days#palpitations arm pain dizziness reduced circulation intermittent tachycardia#the works#so i’m behind on homework on account of The Horrors yk#so i have to get it done today and i was like hey i know i have my Get Shit Done meds!#folks if you’re having heart issues please do not take prescription meth lmao this was a Bad Choice i did#personal#(fr im pretty sure im fine but my roommate knows to check on me in a bit so i’m not like. dying. i just feel like shit lol)
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on the bright side, i got the work done i needed to get done post-teaching AND finished the scene i was noodling on in the plant fic i accidentally restarted and my single glass of wine post-dinner is having the intended soporific effect
on the downside. i so so so so so so badly don't want to have a meeting at 8 AM with a client who i am mostly neutral towards but about a project that is the bane of my existence atm
#WHY did i offer an early meeting#i KNOW its bc i feel bad for folks outside of eastern time zone always getting shafted with shitty meeting times#but for fucks sake#8 AM#and i have another client meeting immediately after!!!#i will be SO useless tomorrow#and i have not been particularly. sparkling. for the last week#that isn't totally true i am in fact really fucking good at my job#to the point that no one notices when i slack off and spend an entire tuesday afternoon doodling#BUT STILL#i have to fill out my timesheets! i'm so behind in expense reports!! hnnnnnnnnnnnnnn#personal#anyway.#my current wips are tcp revisions + trigun girlies terrible road trip#and APPARENTLY tristamp plant fic (but with the rotisserie chicken heart bodies and wings bc. i have taste)#and i am actually slowly chipping away at all of them#which is a mild but pleasant surprise#i read so much fic today#god i do not have the motivation to fight the gravity drawing me deeply into my very thin couch cushions#this futon really has not held up well considering its. only 2 years old#if u sit in the middle it literally is painful#no thanks to baloo aggressively deforming the cleft between cushions#okay. enough stream of consciousness tags. it is time. i am Going to Get Up#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmdsfgkhad
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even though it's not the most painful and doesn't show the full decline, Howl's Moving Castle's depiction of dementia is among the most human
#ghibli#in todays generation of ego and self it's become kinda a horror concept bc it strips someone of the things people today say defines a human#seems i only hear people today talk about it like a skeleton in the closet#unable to recognize or express doesn't mean unware or unexperiencing... remember that#being squirreled away in a cell or bodybag is an awful experience#today's folk live by the principle “out of sight out of mind”... by which voicelessness becomes indistinguishable from inconsequentiality#invisibility indistinguishable from inexistence#anyways...#remember the voiceless.. remember the invisible.. from their origin to their end they have never been any different from you...#you didn't grant yourself words and thought... all that distinguishes you is circumstance...#so be gentle and generous as you can....#invisible pain and invisible joy.. invisible fear and invisible hope..#invisible perception of beauty and invisible cherished loves...#invisible feelings and experiences that will never be expressed... they exist...#even when the seat of emotion is gone there may still be found cold and weary comfort against the night...#there's precious life in the silence
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ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever
#blaire.txt#vent incoming sorry ik this is probably really annoying#and im also sorry if this comes off insensitive or ''i have it SO hard'' i dont mean to be like that#but just. no matter how my identity rolls out i always feel like an imposter in some way#when i ided as a lesbian i already knew i was nonbinary and despite my yearning to experience it; i never knew and will never experience#being a lesbian and a binary woman. and ofc when i ided as a nonbinary lesbian was during that whole bullshit ''nonbinary people cant be#lesbians'' debate that resurfaced so that didnt fucking help#but im not a lesbian im bi so that was easy i guess. or easier#not being binary or very knowledgeable on queer history (tbh i want to change this im not proud of that) and having not participated in#many pride events and queer spaces irl (due to uh. yunno. Covid lol)#has like really made me feel like an imposter that just doesnt fit in anywhere#and now coming to terms with me being transmasc and having a strong attraction towards men and nonbinary folks has really uh. shaken things#up#and not fully in a good way bc its left me scrambling to put together the pieces#its left me in sooooooooooooo much distress i feel like so sick over it#its. not fun. esp bc im still pre-op so very girlish in appearance and voice eugh#and on top of that im also still nonbinary and do feel more neutral/androgynous some days and also consider myself gnc bc i like feminine#clothes and stuff so like. AUGH! and im also fucking 5'1-2 so no matter if i bind or get top surgery or etc i dont think ill ever pass as#not a girl so . pain!#and even saying all that makes me feel guilty bc its like. is that just internalized misogyny? am i misogynistic for feeling this way? and#IK IN MY RATIONAL MIND THATS BULLSHIT AND THIS IS *ONLY* ABT ME NOT OTHER TRANSMASCS AND NBLMS/MLMS TO BE CLEAR#im just an anxious mess with ocd and anxiety in general that just loooooooooooves latching onto bullshit like this to prove im predatory or#weird. also other ocd themes dont fucking help?#idk ill shut up now i need to be on a call but just like. its painful bc i dont feel like i fit into any queer communities lol#this also applies to disability stuff but im NOT cracking that can of worms open today sorry#ok gopdbye for now . responses are ok btw but also no pressure im kinda just emptying my head lol#vent#rant#ask to tag
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YWoOUCH! <- silly guys when they get hurt
#tw vent#in the tags of coursee#but yeah idk the last two days have been uhm yyyyyeeahh#idk hanging out with friends yesterday was definitely good and fun but ig ive been feeling uhm especially annoying/lacking lately? idk how#to describe the feeling by ya- its whatever i can pull through that kicking a screaming and believing things will turn out okay#as i do- but like UHM my leg and back pain has just been horrid the last few days like woow i have never ever dealt with pain like this#i cannot sit for long i cant bend over i was barely able to get through work today- and like some days are better than others but shit#it makes being motivated really hard which just makes my negative emotions worse cause making things and keeping up with my space is like#how i cope with stuff#but drawing makes my pain worse and i currently dont have the ramge of motion to do any chores thatd make me.feel better#augh#anywho idk- but thats why ive been having trouble responding to folks lately#ill be back in up and running orded sooon hopefully#sorry to be negative on dash this will be my only vent post about this <3 peace and love everyone#andychatters#vent
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😋
(hearing The insect noises inside my brain again and being very normal about it)
#oh my god!!!!!! i’m so sick of being chronically exhausted all the time i miss the body i used to have!!!!!!!!!!!#what the FUCK!!!!!!#i’m annoyed!!!! why does it take me literally 12 straight hours of bed rest to recover from one (1) outing#i’m so sick of feeling fogged over all the time like i am just trying to live my LIFE but i have to build in these insane rest periods into#my schedule#it makes me a little bit resentful actually bc i compare what other people are able to do in their time off from work and i’m like#ok i can do maybe 40% of that if i’m having a Good Body Day#which is not up to me to decide lol#fun fact i actually used to cruise reddit to feel solidarity with other folks except they are all such bitter fucks#did u know they call trigeminal neuralgia ‘’the suicide disease’’ over there#i had to delete my account it was making me too crazy#anyways i’m bored but almost always in too much pain or too sleepy to do something about that so i guess i will just continue to Suffer#i did buy more concert tickets today so i now have Events to look forward to which is cool!!!#stressful too bc i’m like Ok how do i make sure that i can be in town for this#but a little bit of scheming is good for the soul
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You know what would fix me?
Pull me into your lap. Kiss me slowly and deeply. Let me grind myself against you. Not enough to get anywhere (damn headaches), but enough to feel good. Feel me up while you’re at it.
#guess what folks she’s still desperate#just in pain and needing closeness today#I’ve also never sat in someone’s lap and made out and I kinda feel like that’s a rite of passage
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I often see people discuss the narrative of women being put down by men and the social and economical systems that they have built.
But as I have grown older, I have realized that the depths of these inequalities are truly not understood.
They are not understood because they have never been felt.
Many men in their lives will never experience the painstakingly meticulous ways in which our characters as women are picked apart. They will never feel the scrutiny of every eye in the room, silently judging you and picking apart your face, your body, your hair, your skin, your stance, how you smell, how you smile, how you stand, how you move, how you speak, and even how you breathe.
Everything, everything, is up on a platform for review.
And not because we want it to be, but simply because we exist in the same room, the same town, the same country, the same world, as men.
We exist. But we exist "differently" and so, we must be examined.
But we are "different" and therefore we can never be as good as them.
Everything about our character must be questioned.
There is a noticeable apprehension before a group of men truly trust the character of a woman.
"Are you sure? How can we verify this?"
"We must ask another group of men for the same answer before we trust a woman."
I read fiction books in my high school about women living during the turn of the 19th century, struggling with themselves. Struggling to fill the voids in their lives, these feelings of a lack of purpose. Struggling to maintain a decent status amongst their peers. Fretting appearances whilst fretting personal fulfillment.
But, they could never find peace or satisfaction with themselves, and it wasn't due to a lack of trying. It was because there is only so much that these women are allowed to do within their current restrictive societies.
And when these women were at their lowest, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope in their lovers. Yes, surely these men who flirt and kiss and "love" them will truly try to understand them.
Laughable.
Their lovers extinguish that last glimmer of hope.
They do not see these women as people, independent persons, but as objects, attachments, dolls.
Your autonomy is nonexistent and your character will forever be questioned.
There is nothing like the deep sorrow of women.
It is the tragic realization that you will never be recognized or valued for who you are.
Simply because you exist, you will be questioned, you will be scrutinized, and you will not be valued.
When you are forced to constantly swim through a repulsive, putrid narrative like this, how could you not break?
So, before you men blow off our pain, because you don't think it's that bad, remember that people like you have always been placed on a higher pedestal. You have never had to have this type of deep-seeded sorrow and existentialism forcibly shoved into your heart. You will never have to experience the subtle and silent, or even loud and violent, acts that are carried out against us, simply because we are women.
You will never feel it, because you don't have to.
But if you can empathize, please do.
And if you can't, keep walking until you fall off the face of the earth.
#Honestly this whole rant could be applied to many minorities and lgbt folks as well#because these feelings stem from a feeling of being put down simply because of our specific existence#It makes sense I suppose since I fall into these categories too#but I recognize that everyone experiences a pain similar to this in varying degrees#people are different like that#I also recognize that of course men suffer their own hand due to societal systems#but that just goes back to the need to break down and reconstruct these systems since they harm men and especially women#it upholds very toxic and misogynistic standards#also also if any guy says “but not all men”#1) obviously not 100% of all men alive today think like this but a lot of them have this mentality#or it just goes back to how this toxic system must be broken#and 2) if your first priority is to see yourself as the victim in this situation#you do not actually care about the personal and societal plights of women and are only concerned about yourself and others as “men”#and you also are probably not as “nice of a guy” as you think you are#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk#feminism#mysogyny#personal rant
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MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST
💥Late one night, while heading home, you realized someone was tailing you. Your pace quickened, and eventually, you broke into a run, with your pursuer doing the same.
💥Running in fear, you accidentally crashed into a solid chest. Gazing upward, you recognized the face of the pro hero Bakugo Katsuki, also known as Dynamight.
💥He noticed your scared expression and asked, "What's wrong?"
💥You shared what happened, and he handled it.
💥"Come on, doll, I'll walk you home," he said after handling the person following you.
💥You and boxer!Bakugo have been dating for a while ever since. Despite being quite different, things just clicked between you two.
💥He used his limited free time to train and get stronger, while you worked as a sidekick in a pro hero's agency.
💥He was well-known in town, and folks often wondered how a timid girl like you ended up with someone as tough and dangerous as Bakugo.
💥He was the best part of your life - your tough, strong, beefy boyfriend, and your cuddle buddy at the same time.
💥You weren't exactly a fan of his boxing hobby, but you still supported him.
💥After each fight, he'd return home victorious, winning every time. But, along with the victories, he'd also bring back cuts, bruises, and a heap of pent-up frustration.
💥Seeing him so broken broke your heart; the pain weighed heavier on you than on him. You'd carefully treat his wounds, bruises, and cuts, gently asking about his fights and questioning if he's certain about pursuing his side career while also juggling daily hero duties.
💥"I'm good, doll. No need to fret," he'd reassure you as you cared for his injuries. "I enjoy boxing. It's quite calming." Honestly, for a strong guy like him, the cuts and bruises weren't that painful. Still, he allowed you to care for his injuries because it warmed him to know his girl cared so much.
💥Boxer!Bakugo enjoys hitting the boxing gym regularly for training; it keeps him toned and in impeccable shape, ready to effortlessly pursue villains.
💥One day, you decide to visit the boxing gym Bakugo frequents five times a week. After finishing your shift, you enter the gym. A friendly lady at the reception offers help, but you decline, explaining that you're just here to see your boyfriend.
💥You see him right away; there's no mistaking him. He's wearing a snug, black tank top highlighting his muscular torso and six-pack, paired with dark grey sweatpants. Black boxing gloves adorn his hands, and a black bandana secures his hair, keeping it away from his intense crimson eyes.
💥You perk up hearing Katsuki's grunts as he throws punches and kicks at the heavy bag. Watching your boyfriend train gets you all excited. A quiet sigh escapes you as you notice sweat trickling down his forehead and nose, dripping to his neckline, and running under his black tank top. You bite your lower lip - he looks oh so fuckable.
💥Spotting you, he grabs a towel, mops his sweaty face, and strides to the edge of the boxing ring. "Hey, doll, what brings you here?"
💥You confess that you wanted to watch him train to get a better grasp of his world. Surprisingly, you admit you never realized how deeply he was immersed in the whole boxing thing.
💥He chuckles, "Yep, been telling you, doll. Okay, I guess that's all for today. Come, I need to change."
💥You follow Bakugo into a locker room after he assures you it's fine and no one will mind. The desires become too intense, and he pushes you against the door, shutting it firmly.
💥Protest? Not a chance. You just let out a little yelp as he catches you off guard.
💥His lips meet yours forcefully, his hands gripping your waist. You reach to remove his bandana and run your fingers through his hair.
💥Simply sharing these heated kisses with you ignites a fervor in boxer!Bakugo; he feels hornier than a teenager.
💥As he removes your snug uniform pants from your legs and casually kicks them away, his calloused finger slips in you, slowly stretching you out. You unfasten the top part of your uniform, slip it off your shoulders, then pull your arms back to peel your tight sports bra off, freeing your breasts; they bounce after being released.
💥Bakugo places wet kisses all around your exposed chest, his tongue poking out and flicking over your hardened buds as he slips another digit in you, stretching you out.
💥At that moment, you're already a moaning mess, and all of your shyness flew out of the window.
💥Bakugo emits a low growl as he senses the dampness seeping into his training sweatpants as he slips a third finger into your tight, wet hole, fucking you relentless, using his thumb to massage your clitoris. Boxer!Bakugo feels himself getting painfully hard as his cock twitches within his pants.
💥He withdraws his fingers, and there's an extra string of your wetness covering his thick digits. "Mmmm, look at ya, doll," he cooes, "already soaked, just for me."
💥Bakugo pulls down his sweatpants and boxers at one go, allowing them to pool around his ankles.
💥You yank his tight tank top off, revealing a muscular torso covered in sweat.
💥Bakugo uses the slick leftover on his hand from fingering you to lube up his rock-hard cock.
💥Gazing downward at the red tip leaking pre cum, a moan escapes your lips as you endeavor to press against his pelvis with a subtle grind as if to slide his cock in yourself already.
💥Boxer!Bakugo leans in, finally gliding the engorged tip of his dick along your dripping hole, which is clenching around nothing now.
💥He finally enters you, stretching you deliciously, and you clench around him blissfully, making him groan.
💥He promptly thrusts into you with a vigorous rhythm, yearning for the melody of your sweet moans, the snug embrace of your thighs, and the gentle contractions of your velvety walls enclosing his hard cock. Lifting you effortlessly, you instinctively coil your legs around his hips, securing your ankles behind him as your thighs press against his sides.
💥While he's fucking you, he begins uttering the most lewd words into your ear. "Yea, you like that, don't ya, doll?”; "Yea, baby, squeeze me tighter, give it to me, give it all to me!”; “Fuck, it feels so fucking good, doll.”
💥As you start moaning like a whore, Bakugo skillfully places his fingers into your mouth, a move aimed at tempering the volume of your pleasure-filled noises as you continue to moan around them.
💥You're uttering incoherent words and moans around his fingers — part desperate pleas, part unintelligible expressions —as he relentlessly fucks your tiny cunt.
💥As your cunny clench tighter around his throbbing cock, he withdraws his fingers from your mouth and descends them to firmly stimulate your clit.
💥“Yes! Please, Katsy! Right there, right there!" you moan like a cheap whore, trying to roll your hips for more friction.
💥You're trembling and convulsing as he feels you cream all over his throbbing cock. Bakugo emits a loud moan at the sensation and can't resist following suit, filling your swollen, abused pussy to the brim with his warm, thick cum. Yet, he doesn't cease there; oh, not at all.
💥With his cock still inside you, and with the mix of your cums dripping out of your pussy and down your thighs, Bakugo initiates a more rapid and vigorous rubbing against your swollen clit than in the previous instance.
💥"Come on, darling, one more for me. I know you've got it in you. Just one more. I've been fucking missing for you all day, doll."
💥Your mouth hangs agape as pleasure consumes you, drool trickling from the corner of your parted lips. "K-Kats!"
💥Katsuki spits on his hand and moves it down where you both are still conjoined, intensifying your arousal; the slick is dripping from you onto the floor as he continues to rub your wet, glistening folds.
💥You release a slight cry as you gush and squirt on his cock, spraying and covering his abdomen with the wetness; some of your juices is trickling onto the floor.
💥"Yes, doll, I knew you had it in you. Show me more, unleash everything you've got," he chuckled with a dark undertone.
💥He swiftly becomes hard once more, and thrusts in you at an unrelenting pace; occasional droplets of slick juices are squirting out of you and landing on his toned abs.
💥Boxer!Bakugo is chasing his second orgasm, basically using you as his own fucktoy; his hold is firm around your waist, and he effortlessly brings you up and down on his throbbing dick, his hips pistoning into yours.
💥At this stage, your juices are beyond control - every thrust Bakugo gives is met by a gush of your wetness, creating a pool on the floor. "Kats! Kats! O-Oh! OH! Fuuuck!"
💥Bakugo halts abruptly, executing a series of preliminary thrusts before you feel his warm cum shoot into your abused pussy once more.
💥You cry out, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks, as Bakugo gently lowers your feet to the ground.
💥After he pulls his flaccid dick out of you, the blend of your cums trickles down your trembling thighs.
💥"You did so well f'me, doll," he whispered before kissing you again. "Well, looks like we both could use a shower. Fuck, you've worn me out more than a hardcore training session, doll."
#mha headcanons#bakugo x reader#bakugo headcanons#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugo smut#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#anime smut#katsuki bakugo smut#bakugo x reader smut#smut headcanons#bnha smut#mha smut#bakugou smut#bakugou x you#boxer bakugo#bakugo x y/n#smut hcs#divider by cafekitsune
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I'm joining the war on pain on the side of please may i have a pain-free day. just one is fine i swear
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wicked • 18
↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?
↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader
↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut
Word Count: 12k
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tags: oral (f), tiddie sucking…love kink?, teasing, vaginal fingering, begging, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting (yeah…), soft dom!kook, loss of virginity, penetrative sex, it doesn’t fit, but only for a moment, size kink, possessiveness, multiple positions, slight spanking, corruption kink if you squint, creampies (wrap it before you tap it, condoms don’t exist in this au so…yknow)
Note: this chapter was not supposed to be so horny but the brain insisted 💅
Chapel bells could be heard, a somber cry of the hazy day ahead, you sniffled trying to get the smell of ash out of your nose, squinting as you glanced through the cracked tent, the sky tinted and hazy.
You didn’t remember the sun looking quite that color, it was distorted from normal, another bell chimed and you could hear the camp from even this distant, a crackle of the fire and a sob.
“Focus!” Baba Enàir slapped the stick in front of your desk making you jump.
“Sorry Baba.”
“You can say sorry to all the folks who rely on your hands to save their kin,” Her eyes glowered down at you, “As for me, you will do good and well to pay attention.”
Your lips twitched as you stared down at your desk, eyes slowly squinting into a glare before briefly glancing behind her once more towards the open flap of the tent where you watched the girls, hands all joined skipping in a circle.
“Why can’t I be excused?”
Baba Enair’s eyes followed yours as she sighed, perhaps taking pity on you, though if she did her eyes didn’t show it.
“You are the Princess of Eunoia, the people look to you for hope, not the court girls.” Baba Enair replied, “Your dryad blood allows you to heal in a way other girls cannot, that other people cannot. It isn’t fair, but it’s for the war, the amount of lives you can save alone compares to ten of the court girls. It’s imperative that your skill is honed. Now focus once more.”
You sighed, you had heard the same reason again and again, one day you hoped it would finally mean something to you though, today however, was not that day.
Regardless of how you felt, you stuck your hands back into the moon water, a small beautiful red fish, evidentially dying as it struggled to swim around.
You closed your eyes.
“Now start your three part breath, calm your mind.” Baba Enair instructed.
You took a deep breath from your stomach, slowly expanding it to your chest and then your throat, finally letting it exhale, after a few more breaths you began to speak.
“Ni esta- upon I cemen, eless- mama na- laiva,”
“Louder.” Baba Enair commanded.
“Let your coiv- mauime- celusse minna -yes’s eala-“ you winced as you yanked your hands from the water, the water boiling and your lips parting, feeling a piece of your heart crack at the fish, no longer swimming, but floating.
Your eyes watered as your lips trembled, you wanted him to have a peaceful passing, but all you caused was pain…
Baba Enair slapped the stick on your table, “You were too fast, too hasty! Rushing your studies will only make them last longer. Save your tears child, you will have much to cry for if you cannot even heal a fish.”
Your eyes only closed letting the tears stream down your face, the scene shifted, the tent no longer over you, but the sky above.
Thick with clouds of ash and the fire raged on, the sickening smell of death in the air, people groaning in agony and cries of mourning.
“How could you let him die you bitch! He was only a child!”
Your mouth was ajarred as you took an unsteady step back, “I’m- I’m sorry but I tried everything-“ the tent behind you being prepped for the fire, there laid a boy no older than four, a head wound that he had accidentally reopened when he fell down, attempting to play with his friend.
Blood was everywhere, even now covering your hands as tears gathered in your eyes, “I’m sorry.”
The older mother only glared as if you were nothing more than a speck of dirt under her shoe, “You’ve no right to cry!” She screamed out, reaching out as she grabbed your hair making you yelp, “You are no princess of this country! You are nothing! The dryads have abandoned your veins!”
Guards had already pulled her off but she made sure to shove you down, gravel digging into your palms as sharp jagged pain entered your body.
Tears dripped down your nose as you heard the woman scream and cry, throwing curse words your way only for her voice to be guided elsewhere as her son’s body was carried out of the tent.
Placed into a bag but it was evident he was in there, you glanced at the large bonfire, cowardly. You looked back at the ground, unable to watch them toss his body in.
You heard her wails and cries as the fire burned bright.
And suddenly, it was surrounding you, suffocating you as you cried out, the plead of a child, the skin melting from your hands and-
You gasped, sweat dripping from your body as you sat up in bed, wincing as if something of ash still lingered in your lungs, coughing you grabbed the water carafe from your nightstand, pouring a drink.
Leaning your back against your bed board, it was just a dream…you took a shaky breath, attempting to close your eyes,
‘blood covering your face, skin hanging and cartilage visible’
Your eyes shot back open upon being greeted with Di Jin’s dead face.
It had already been difficult to go to sleep, his cold dead face showing up every time you closed your eyes, or in your dreams once you had finally slept. Tonight had been different though, different difficulties deciding to present themselves this time.
All better forgotten nonetheless.
It had only been two days, and yet, it felt as if no time had passed at all, slowly you peeled the covers off yourself, shivering as you grabbed your nightgown cover, putting the long sleeve on as you walked to the door.
The room suddenly felt too closed in, too suffocating, you needed air.
Opening the door, you were greeted with your personal knight Yoongi, his injuries still healing, but he was doing far better than you.
When the unfortunate event of Di Jin and Seohyun showed up, Yoongi had shown up the morning after, bruised and battered, the entire operation of the tower being sieged a guise to bait him out and even better if it killed him, and worst of all it worked.
Well, the bit to draw him out, but evidently he was still very much alive.
“Your Highness?” Yoongi raised his brows a little, not surprised to see you up, but a little concern evident in his eyes.
“I wish to go for a walk.” Your voice was a quiet croak, shaky even.
“Of course.” Yoongi replied.
“Can it be…as if I were by myself?” Your lips turned into a small frown.
Yoongi gave you a weak smile, “You won’t even notice me.”
You nodded before walking past him, a little ways ahead before you could only assume he melded into the shadows, trailing behind unseen but still within a safe distance.
The corridors were empty, save for a few guards who bowed for you before giving you no grief, everyone looked at you differently though.
It was evident in their eyes, the way they all warily kept a distance.
Once upon a time, you had gotten used to your title, the Bitch of Eunoia.
But now they had all taken to calling you something different, something new, the Blood-Devoured Bitch. It was a hybrid name, both of Penumbrian and Eunoian background, sickening and yet flattering all the same, it suited you, you supposed.
Stepping out into the courtyard you innately shivered, ice cold air penetrated easily past your cover, wrapping your arms around yourself you took a big breath of air.
It’s crisp cool entered your lungs like new life, and for a moment you felt better.
Sitting down on the bench you curled into yourself, and suddenly the weight of your soul felt heavy again, you were so tired. A type of tired that sleep would not make go away.
Staring at the moon, you let its light be your only comfort, surely better days would come.
Jungkook couldn’t describe his level of worry for you, you had woken up physically fine, a minor wound to your chest where Di Jin had attempted to kill you. But you yourself were not fine.
You looked haunted, any food put in front of you was left untouched, and even if you did eat, you were unable to keep anything down.
Jungkook thought once Wheein was safe, things would get better. But it was clear to him this was hardly the case and what made it worse was you were isolating yourself now, refusing to talk to him or anyone else.
Wheein had desperately wanted to see you but Jungkook firmly sent her back to Skol demanding she take some time to herself, being in the dungeon for the last three weeks was no good for anybody mentally, especially her.
Meanwhile he was left to pick up the pieces of whatever had happened at the estate, and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
He felt horrible, he wanted you to go to the estate because he thought it was safe, but as it turns out, he nearly sent you to your death. He hadn’t pushed the topic with you, left you alone if you didn’t respond.
He just wanted you to be okay, it pained him seeing you like this.
You felt unreachable, and it made him feel as if he was literally losing his mind.
But tonight was Sunday, the day the family gathered together for dinner, Jungkook’s hopes were low but he could only hope that you would show up, he was worried and even more so at a loss of what to do, or if he could do anything at all.
You killed Di Jin.
The Eunoian Princess, who had sworn an oath to never kill, who came from a pacifistic nation, who had divine dryad blood running through her veins, killed someone.
And Jungkook knew you wouldn’t listen to him, it mattered not that you did it in self defense, it didn’t change the fact that you still broke your oath. Dinner had been quiet, nobody talking and this was to be expected, after all, everyone almost murdered your hand maid, you almost died, and then not only killed Di Jin, the kings oldest and dearest friend, but also Seohyun, Jungkook’s old fiancé.
Guards had gone to the estate to clean up the mess only to find her mangled body, torn apart by a wolf- namely yours.
Perhaps it wasn't directly you, but it mattered not, you would still take the guilt.
The doors opened and Jungkook straightened in his seat, you gave a short courtesy before taking your seat next to him, your eyes looked sunken in and it was evident you hadn’t slept a single night.
Jungkook could feel it clawing at his chest with the urge to do something, anything, but he knew all too well this would be something you would have to reconcile with yourself, in your own time.
Dinner was quiet and his uncle and aunt only murmured conversation, Jungkook could only let out a quiet sigh as he lifted his goblet to his lips, wine almost never solved his problems but it did help him relax.
“Yes, apparently a wild pack of dogs attacked Vail yesterday,” Jeong Dae’s voice was quiet, Areum’s eyes on him as she took a sip of her wine.
Their voices were the only one’s at the table that have yet to talk, after all they had always managed to keep the conversation going in these awkward events.
You were twirling your soup in its bowl, having not attempted to eat, eyes strictly somewhere between the table and your food.
“Well there needs to be more guards posted in the outer district’s now that this whole assassin business is finished,” Areum replied, leaning back in her chair, “They had four fatality’s which could’ve been prevented with adequate soldiers number’s.”
“Or perhaps we just need better soldiers,” Jeong Dae mused, “Perhaps our War Matron should make her return.”
You finally gathered a spoonful of your soup, watching the steam rise from it’s surface before you pushed it into your mouth. Jungkook wasn’t trying to stare, but it was difficult to look away when you were having to force every drop of broth down.
Areum scoffed, “Unless war is on the horizon I would rather rot. There was only one guard there, and he was passing through on his patrol.”
You gathered another spoonful, looking at it once more as if having to mentally prepare yourself.
“Is a shame though,” Jeong Dae sighed, “It was an absolute mess when I arrived, blood everywhere, one of the poor lad’s had his throat ripped out-”
A loud cough cut off the conversation, all eyes on you as you grabbed your mouth, lurching in your seat as if attempting to not vomit, “Excuse me.” You didn’t even so much as wait for a reply, shoving yourself out of your chair and promptly exiting.
Jungkook was immediately pushing himself out of his chair, not even saying a word as he quickly followed after you. You probably didn’t want to see him, but he simply couldn’t stand watching you like this.
He needed to do something, anything.
“Y/n!” He called out as you rushed down the hall.
You shook your head as you took a sharp left, going down the stairs towards the cellar, Jungkook quickly stepping down the stairs as he called your name once more.
It was dark and only candles lit the air, dust could be seen if one got too close, walls of wine and dry goods stored as you turned the corner of a storage wall, weaving towards the very back where surely no one would go.
Jungkook quickly followed behind, turning the last corner of the storage wall before he sighed out, a dead end with you at the last wall, back still turned but your sobs evident, hands covering your eyes as you tried to regain your breath but struggling to do so.
It came out in choked wheezes as you coughed and gagged, struggling to calm yourself down, flashes of blood, images of flesh and gore, no matter how many times you washed out your mouth, you could still taste it.
Raw flesh going down your throat.
Jungkook finally stopped at your back, unable to find any words, he could only pull you to face him, and he hated it, how it always seemed your face was filled with tears more than smiles, “I can’t get it out!”
You felt like a helpless child all over again, unable to help yourself let alone anyone else, but you felt so lost, you didn’t know what to do, you had all of these new feelings, all of these new sins you had to carry.
You let out another sob as Jungkook pulled you in, and you could do nothing but collapse against him as you cried, “I can’t get the taste out! No matter- wh-what I eat, what I drink, I still taste it!”
Jungkook only soothing hushed you, pressing his lips on top of your head, “I know.” He ushered softly, “I’m sorry.”
His arms wrapped around you tighter as you cried, resting your head into his shoulder, after a few minutes passed you had finally managed to calm your breath into steady.
“I can’t go back, I can’t undo everything I’ve done, I don’t know what to do anymore,” You tried to not weep but the tears slowly began to trickle back down your cheeks as you lamented, “My whole life i’ve been told I’m supposed to save lives,”
You pressed your hands against his jacket, looking up at him, “So why is it, all I ever seem to do is take them?”
Jungkook tenderly cupped your cheeks in his hands, thumbing the tears away as he pressed his forehead against yours, “I can’t speak for all of your past doings, but I can speak for what happened at the estate, your survival was dependent on your ability to defend yourself. You were forced to do what anybody would do.”
You shook your head in remorse, closing your eyes as you stifled a sob, Jungkook tenderly stroking your cheeks as he continued, “Humans are instinctive creatures, though you are part dryad, it seems violence runs in your veins.”
You sniffled, “That’s terrifying! You should be terrified. Everyone looks at me differently now, certainly you do as well, I killed the woman who was supposed to be your wife!”
Jungkook sighed, tenderly tracing your jawline with those long fingers of his, “The only thing that truly terrified me? Was when you walked through those gates covered in blood, and I realized I had unknowingly sent you to your death, unable to be there for you, unable to protect you, failing as a husband. That terrifies me.”
Your lips trembled as Jungkook’s fingers traced down your neck to your collarbone, “But you? I told you to show me all of you, and that I would take you as you are, my words still stand.” His fingers trailed down the center of your chest, stopping at the covered wound, the mark where Di Jin had attempted to make his finishing blow.
“How could I be afraid of someone I love?” It was nothing louder than a whisper.
It caused your gut to wrench as you violently shook your head, “Don’t say that, please don’t say that Jungkook.” You immediately escaped his arms, every step you took back Jungkook closed the gap with another forward.
“I don’t expect it to be requited, you don’t have to say it back Y/n but I’ve went through all stages of grief about it, I can’t change it,” Jungkook wasn’t backing down though, “I am in love with you and everything I thought I knew about love, everything I thought I knew about women, feelings, all of it, you came into my life and taught me that I was a fool to ever assume as much. I love you.”
“Stop saying it! Please, you don’t mean that, please don’t say it so easily…”
Your back was pressed against the wall as you shook your head, Jungkook standing tall in front you, delicately leaning down, both his forearms on either side of you as he whispered, “I love you Y/n, and you will not dictate to me whether that is the truth or not. My love for you has been anything but easy, don’t discredit how I feel because I’m the first to admit it.”
“You can’t love me,” You whispered, eyes blurring once more as flashes of Seohyun’s mangled body appeared in your vision.
“Loving you is like loving the sun,” Jungkook replied softly, “Effortless, and if I’m meant to burn in its light, then I'd die happily in doing so. My precious sun, the light of my life. Let me love you, let me take care of you, let me protect you, let me never leave your side again.”
“Jungkook…”
“I failed you, let you leave my side, sent you to the estate. It’s ultimately my own fault, and I’ll spend the rest of my life redeeming myself for it. But please, don’t punish me anymore,” Jungkook’s eyes sombered, a sort of tender plea in them, “I can’t be apart from you anymore, I’ve tried to give you space, time to think, to heal, but just as you need me, I need you. I need you just like the moon needs the sun.”
You had no words, unable to speak, overwhelmed by so many different feelings, but one thing you knew for certain was that when you looked at Jungkook, you felt at home. You said nothing, only gently laying your forehead in the crook of his neck, arms wrapping around him.
Trying to drown out the voices, the memories in his warmth, you were so terribly homesick, and Jungkook was surely your only remedy to this.
His arms wrapped around you in return, holding you tightly as he pressed a kiss against your head, “It’s selfish, but please, don’t deny me, love me, lay with me, we’re married, but I want you to be my wife.”
“Take me back to our bedroom.” You whispered to him, curling into his warmth as you shuddered, trying so hard to not let the vivid grotesque images back into your mind.
There was nothing quite like the warmth a bath could offer, steaming wafting from heat and dipping your body in made you realize just how chilled you had become throughout the day. Perhaps the best part was sitting perched in your husband’s lap, head laying on his shoulder as he tended to you.
The warmth of the washcloth running along your body, his hands that had easily taken tens if not hundreds of lives tenderly running through your hair as he washed you, he of course didn’t miss the opportunity to feather your neck in kisses.
“Is this okay?” He whispered in your ear, you nodded wanting nothing more than for him to keep making you forget, you didn’t want to remember anymore.
Jungkook was still tenderly cleaning you up, lips occasionally going back to your neck with a few gentle kisses and eventually after bathing you both settled in the water, just enjoying one another’s embrace.
His fingers tracing circles on your back before running down your waist, squeezing your ass for a moment before his hand would return back up your waist, touching you however he wanted, simply because he could.
It was a comforting gesture, but it was also evident how aroused you both were, every time his hand would dip under the water, it made your body just a little more excited, feeling his hand gripping your flesh tightly, making you shift a little and the first tiniest audible moan escaping your lips.
You could feel it briefly, his hardened cock resting against his chiseled abdomen, Jungkook’s lips pressed against your neck once more, this time suckling the skin as his other hand trailing down your waist before gripping the other side of your ass.
A soft moan escaped your lips, making your hips shift, nudging his cock once more making his lips suckle your skin a little harder, he released the skin after a moment, as if not wanting to mark it, “Let me make you feel good, my little sun.”
His fingers digging into your skin, his tongue dragging on your neck, “Please.” You ushered out a small moan.
Jungkook’s hand’s suddenly grabbed your waist, “Hold on,” He said and you didn’t understand for a moment until he suddenly picked you up, bringing you out of the water, grabbing one of the towels from off the stool he laid it out on the bed to not get it wet before dropping you down.
The fire crackled on, the only light source in the room, leaving it dark and warm, but the silhouette of Jungkook’s body was still very evident, his hard cock even more so as he stood tall in front of your figure.
You felt so small in comparison in this moment, but it didn’t last long as Jungkook leaned down, “You’re so perfect.” He whispered, lips pressing into yours as if he could sense your anxiousness, your body was so pliable though, having his hovering over you protectively. You moaned into the kiss, body relaxing as one of his hands found your thighs, pushing them apart tenderly as you opened them for him.
Your cunt was throbbing and wet, eager to be touched by him as Jungkook broke the kiss, letting his tongue drag down your throat and to your collarbone before he feathered more kisses, pausing at your breasts.
Jungkook couldn’t resist wrapping his lips around your left tit, this forced a moan from you, hips shifting in need as a hand steady them, as if telling you to be patient, he traded for your right tit next, moaning softly against your skin as if relishing in it.
“Jungkook…!” You whined softly, watching the explicit sight, your thighs spreading a little more in need.
Jungkook’s eyes almost glowed in the dark, that icy blue piercing gaze, hazy and filled with lust as he released your tit from his lips, a small lazy smirk tugging on his lips, “Yes, my love?”
It felt like knots were forming in your stomach, “Love me, you keep saying it, show me how it feels.”
Jungkook gave you a small smile, “You don’t need to ask me twice.” His lips pressed down your stomach and your body was reacting in all the ways he could hope as he made his way down to your hips, tenderly, slowly, licking up every reaction he got before he settled himself between your thighs.
Still he seemed to enjoy getting you worked up, lips pressing against your inner thigh making you squirm, your cunt dripping wet as you whined, “Jungkook!”
His tongue dragged just a little closer to where you wanted it, “What do we say when we want something?”
“Please…!”
Jungkook moaned softly as his tongue pressed against your cunt making you let out a moan of relief, his hot wet tongue mixing with your arousal as he pressed against your little opening before dragging it up your slit, right where you wanted it.
You moaned softly as his tongue pressed against your clit, you shifted onto your forearm, your other hand reaching down to bury in his wet dark locks of hair, his tongue swirling around the tender bud as pleasure shot through your body making your thighs open further for him.
His eyes closed as he moaned against your clit, wrapping his lips around it as if suckling something sweet, it made a sharp whine escape you as you yanked his hair hips lifting for him.
“Mm Jungkook.” You ushered out softly as his lips parted, tongue lathing against the little bud that had you squirming in pleasure.
“Relax my love,” Jungkook moaned into your cunt, “Let me make you cum as many times as you please.”
His fingers snuck down to your cunt as his lips wrapped back around your clit making you whine, his tongue having found a particularly sweet spot that had you grabbing his hair.
His fingers toyed with your little hole at first, letting them get nice and sticky from your arousal before he pushed a digit in, your body immediately reacted, walls clenching around him as a strangled whine left you.
His lips parted as his tongue lathed your clit, continuously flicking the sweet spot of your bud as you whimpered, your cunt throbbing in pleasure as his finger began to pump inside you, “Relax princess, I got you,” Jungkook’s lidded eyes met yours, and briefly you could see his finger, knuckle deep in your cunt.
As if noticing this as well a small smirk curled on his lip as he pulled it out, before gathering both his middle and ring finger, pushing it back inside you, it made you wince a little in discomfort, “Shh, give your body to me, I’ll take care of it my love,” Jungkook moaned softly, his cock was rock hard at watching you moan and wither beneath him in pleasure.
Your walls clenching tightly around his fingers as he thrusted them inside you, his lips tenderly pressing into your thigh to soothe you as your body slowly relaxed just as he said.
Your hips slowly lifted in sync with his as you whined, Jungkook buried himself back in your cunt once more, tongue lapping at your little clit, getting the exact reaction he had hoped.
A loud cry escape you, thighs suddenly wrapping around his head just the way he wanted them too, wanting to be suffocated by your cunt and nothing else, his fingers immediately began pumping rougher inside you as you whined unable to keep yourself supported anymore as you collapsed back against the bed.
“Koo! Mmm! Please Koo!” Your words were mumbled and whiny as his tongue viciously swirled and suckled your throbbing bud, his fingers suddenly lifting inside you as if in search for something.
Pleasure was becoming more consistent, more intense as Jungkook's moan vibrated against your clit and his fingers pushing all the way inside you as they lifted once more, the pleasure that suddenly snapped through your body was indescribable, a loud whimper escaping you.
His name came in shambled shorter variations as you whined and moaned, your walls rapidly squeezing around his fingers as he kept thrusting into the same spot again and again.
Jungkook kept lapping at your clit, finding that sweet spot once more as you withered beneath him, back arching as your mind blurred with pleasure, “Oh..! Oh god, please! Yes! Mmm!”
Your voice echoed throughout the bedroom loudly as fits of moans escaped your mouth, lips parted at just how good you felt, “Cum for me, cum all over my fingers sweetheart,” Jungkook moaned before his lips parted against your clit, lazily rubbing into that little spot as his fingers ruthlessly rubbed into that spot inside you.
And you did.
Your walls rapidly wrapped around his fingers as he kept shoving them inside you, his tongue attached to your bud, milking your orgasm as unholy noises escaped your lips, mixtures of thanks, of his name, cries to the empty sky.
It just kept going, the pleasure only heightened as you squealed out, hands digging into his hair as his tongue swirled over your clit, fingers refusing to stop as they hit that same spot inside you over and over again.
It had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your thighs trembling as you completely gave your body up to him, relaxing into the building sensation inside your cunt as your walls kept squeezing around his fingers, his tongue not stopping on your clit as he suckled it once more.
His tongue finding just the right spot as it all spiked once more, your moans were shaky and cried out as blind pleasure washed over you once more, cumming all over his fingers but not only that liquid suddenly spewing lewdly from your little hole.
“Fuuck,” Jungkook moaned, lifting your hips suddenly as his fingers abused your little entrance, hitting that spot over and over again as your body withered against him, “Such a good girl.”
His fingers finally pulled out of your cunt, your thighs trembling as he set you down, moaning as he kissed your thighs, hands dragging against your waist, “Fuck, I want you so bad sweetheart, wanna fill you up, wanna feel you cum all over my cock.”
You were heaving deep breathes, trying to comprehend the pleasure you just experienced, you were hazy still as your hand tenderly combed through his hair, “Then do so…” You gazed at him, hazey and the darkness made it difficult to make out his expression, “You said you wanted me to be your wife, then make me your wife.”
Jungkook’s gaze shot up to you as you weakly smiled, “I want you to be my husband, but we’ve never consummated it. I want to.”
Jungkook moaned softly, his cock throbbing as he crawled up to you, arms hovering on either side of you as he stared down at you, “You mean it?”
“Of course I do,” You whispered, hands creeping up his neck and back to his hair once more, pulling him down for a kiss that he would never deny you.
Jungkook moaned softly into the kiss before he broke it, pressing a kiss against your neck, “It’ll hurt,” He whispered, “But I’ll make sure it doesn’t last long.”
Jungkook shifted you further up the bed as he sat on his knees, between your thighs as you parted them for him, feeling nervous, but you felt so safe with him, you wanted him, craved him. Jungkook’s fingers brushed over your cunt, puffy and wet as you shuddered.
His hand was soaked in your arousal as before he wrapped it around his cock, just as big and fat as you remembered. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he pumped his cock in his hand, it made you feel shy as you shifted beneath him.
“Are you sure?” He murmured, you nodded.
Grabbing your thighs he pulled you closer to him before he grabbed his cock once more, rubbing the fat weeping head of his cock against your cunt as you let out a shaky exhale, you knew he was big but…he was really big compared to you.
Just the size of his head was nearly as big as your cunt itself, “Jungkook I don’t…-”
“It’ll fit.” He reassured, a little amused, pulling the head of his cock to your little entrance before attempting to push it in.
You winced in pain as you shifted, you weren’t sure how you expected this to go, it really wasn’t something you had ever fantasized about. But the first attempt was lackluster due to the fact that he indeed was not getting it in.
Jungkook’s nose wrinkled, “Ugh fuck. Hold on,” He whispered, shifting a little more, setting your thighs a top of his a little more, lining his cock back up to your entrance as he pushed once more.
He pushed the fat head of his cock against your entrance once more, this time however, you let out a yelp, the sensation almost burning as you shifted in discomfort against him, “Ah…! Fuck that hurts.” You let out a weak whine, biting down on your lip hard.
And it did, all you could focus on was how much it ached and burned having your walls pushed open by something so large and foreign.
Jungkook leaned down, arms on either side of you as he pressed feathery kisses into your neck, “I’m sorry, my love,” His whisper was strained, “Just let yourself relax, it won’t last long.” He let out a slight shaky moan as he pushed himself just a little deeper inside you.
You tried to let yourself relax as much as possible, but your brows were still pinching together and it was difficult for it to not hurt when he was just really that big.
Jungkook suddenly pulled out of you making you sigh in relief, Jungkook pressed another comforting kiss against your neck as he pushed the head of his cock back inside, only this time, it wasn’t nearly as painful, a little discomfort of having something foreign inside your body.
But it wasn’t nearly as bad, Jungkook’s muscles were completely tensed and his breath was shaky as he buried his face into your neck with a moan, “Fuck sweetheart, you feel so fucking good wrapped around me.”
Jungkook his deep raspy words in your ear made your walls squeeze around him, making him push a little deeper inside you as you let out a soft whine, shifting your hips as if trying to take more of him.
Jungkook could feel this, immediately pushing his cock deeper inside you, “Oh my god,” He whispered, “Fucking perfect, perfect cunt, perfect body, perfect for me. Look at that little cunt, taking me so well.”
You whined at his hips thrusting a little, as if testing the water’s, “Koo…mmm!” Your eyes snapped shut at feeling his cock splitting your walls open, hitting all the right places.
Jungkook moaned as his hips slowly began to thrust, his cock still not fully inside you but with each thrust it got a little closer, “Feels so warm, so little, fuck, keep wrapping around me like that love.”
His shaft rubbed right into that sweet spot that had you moaning, legs wrapping around his waist, your cunt felt so full and yet wanted so much more, Jungkook’s hips were becoming a little faster, “Such a perfect cunt, mine. All mine.” There was a hint of possessiveness in his words.
Your hands dug in his hair, “All yours.” You whimpered out quietly as your body started jolting, his hips becoming rougher at the words, “Your cunt, yours.”
Jungkook let out a rough moan, deep and raw as if those words made him all hot and bothered, “Fuck yeah it is,” He suddenly growled in your ear, “You’re my fuckin’ wife, my cunt to play with, my cunt to make cum again and again. Mine.”
You suddenly whimpered at feeling his cock going deeper inside you, your eyes shutting as you moaned for him, knowing he wanted to hear them, knowing how much he liked to see you in pleasure, “Mmm! Like that.”
“Oh? Like this?” He smirked against your skin as he thrusted particularly harsh, his cock going deep inside you once more, your walls rapidly clenching around him as you moaned, nails dragging against his back.
“What about this?” He murmured in your ear, pushing his hips all the way until they met yours, his cock completely buried in your warm little cunt as you shakily moaned, eyes squeezing shut at how deep he was inside, how thick and fat his cock was, completely splitting open your walls.
“Mmm fuck, yeah.” You ushered softly, creaming all over his cock, arousal coating it as your walls squeezed around him, you had finally found heaven, it was Jungkook buried inside your cunt.
Jungkook moaned as well, feeling how tight your walls squeezed around him in pleasure, as if suddenly starved Jungkook grabbed your thigh, bringing it over his shoulder as his hips shifted, rapidly thrusting into you as you yelped in surprise.
But pleasure was immediately blooming side you, his shaft rubbing all the right spots, balls slapping against your skin as you whimpered for him, “Oh! Right there, yeah! Yes, god…!”
Jungkook moaned, “Fuck yeah, squeeze around me baby, know you wanna cum on it, cum all over this fat cock, gonna fill you up until your dripping.”
Your hips lifted with his, moaning at how good it felt, his cock roughly dragging in and out of you, pushing your walls open with each thrust, “Mmm wanna cum all over it.”
Jungkook moaned, thrusting particularly hard this time making you whine before he suddenly shifted, letting go of your thigh as he suddenly sat up right, but dragging you with him, his cock pulling out of you as you whined.
Thighs trembled and uncertain of this new position as Jungkook sat you in his lap, immediately grabbing his cock as he pushed it back inside you, except you were a little awkward, “Mm Koo I don’t-”
“Like this love.” Jungkook moaned, grabbing your hips as he lifted them, this new position made you feel him in an entirely new way, your lips parting as an involuntary moan escaped you, trying to mimick the way his hips guided you.
Sliding down his cock as you moaned, feeling how deep he was inside you, your walls rapidly clenched, Jungkook’s hands tightened around your ass, “Fuck yeah sweetheart, can feel you wrapping around it, cum.” His head suddenly dove down, lips parting on your right tit as he suckled it harshly making you cry out, walls clenching around him as you lowered your hips all the way down.
Your arousal dripping on his balls as he lifted you, fucking you on his cock as you whined pathetically, not of much use when he fucked you like this, his lips suckled your tit harshly once more, “Cum,” He growled, his hand suddenly smacking your right ass cheek making you yelp.
Your body however, loved that feeling of pain, your cunt squeezing around his cock as he roughly bounced you on it, “Like that? Like getting spanked sweetheart?” Jungkook grinned deviously, suddenly smacking your ass even harder, your body reacting to it as your walls clenched harder around him.
“Mmm! M’ gonna cum..Koo!” You whimpered out, all the sensations overwhelming you as Jungkook continued to bounce you on his cock, pushing you deeper on him as he smacked your ass once more, this time hitting just under the cheek, the pain mixed with the pleasure as you moaned loud, walls squeezing rapidly around his cock.
Your lips parted as you came all over his fat shaft, being bounced roughly as Jungkook moaned, “Fuck yeah, thats it princess,” Jungkook moaned, wrapping his around around your waist as he laid back on the bed, bring you with him a top as his hips lifted, rapidly thrusting up inside you, this orgasm was much deeper, more powerful as he continued to bottom out inside you making sure he was completely buried inside you.
“Fuck my love, that’s it.” Jungkook ushered a moan, you felt it before you heard it, something indescribably warm shooting deep inside your cunt, “Mm that’s it, take it like the good girl you are.”
You let out the tiniest whine, burying your head in his shoulder as he let out a deep sigh of contentment, relishing in his orgasm, how long had he imagined holding you like this?
His lips tugged into a lopsided smile as his eyes opened, looking at you as if you were the only thing in the world, as if in deep admiration, love.
You supposed that look in his eyes, could only be described adequate as love, “My goddess,” He mused, fingers trailing your face, his hand trailed down your side before grabbing your hand, the skin discolored in large patches.
Jungkook pressed his lips against the palm before tenderly planting a kiss on each finger, the gesture was so full of love it made your eyes fill with tears that did not shed, his lips pressed against your wrist, “The love of my life, I know I cannot change the past,”
Jungkook laid you both on your side as he wrapped his arm around you, “But we will get through this together.”
You weren’t sure what it was, the earnest look in his eyes, the pure devotion in his voice, but you believed him, you wholeheartedly believed him, “We will.” You whispered back, leaning in to press your lips against his.
It was filled with nothing but sweetness, tenderly pressing over yours as he let out a soft moan, his hand finding its home around your neck, not squeezing but simply holding it, “My wife.” He moaned against the kiss, “My beautiful wife. I don’t think there will ever be a day I don’t love you. Sleep, and if you wake, I’ll be here to hold you.”
Sleep did not come easily, Jungkook had managed to get you both under the warm covers, scaring off whatever little coldness that had tickled your skin, the last hour before he fell asleep had been silent, his fingers tracing circles against your back, enjoying one another's warmth.
You had eventually fell asleep but dreams you could not remember had plagued you back awake, your eyes were tired but you could see blue light streaming in from the window, it wouldn’t be long before your day would begin.
Still, you laid dozing off enjoying your Jungkook who hadn’t let go of you the whole time, skin to skin contact soothing, you had rolled onto your stomach, letting the weight of his body near on top of you soothe your eyes back shut.
Shifting a little to get comfortable this must have accidentally awoke him as you felt a gentle kiss press on your shoulder a sleepy groan escape his lips, “How long have you been awake?” He mumbled, his voice quiet, deeper and raspier than normal.
“...Not too long, I’ve woken up multiple times though.” You whispered, keeping your eyes shut as you felt his hand slowly stroke your waist.
You would never say it out loud, but you could definitely get use to being petted like this.
“You should’ve woke me up,” Jungkook pressed another kiss against your skin, this time your neck, “Let us lay together in silence.”
“We could be laying in silence right now.” You offered a tiny tired smile though you weren’t sure he could see it.
“We could.” Jungkook murmured, his lips pressing onto your neck once more, this time parting as his tongue tenderly lapped over your skin, the act itself made your breath hitch, body stirring as you tilted your head, letting him have more access to your skin.
You kept your eyes closed, allowing him to give you open mouthed kisses over your neck, not too long in each spot to be mindful of marking, his tongue delicately tracing over each patch just enough to tease.
It seemed he finally got what he wanted out of you, a tiny moan as he shifted you both, now spooning you, your bare ass promptly snug against his hard cock, his lips suckling the skin of your neck as his hand snaked over your waist, grabbing a handful of your tit as he pinched your nipple.
You whined as you rubbed back against him a little, this made his hand immediately grab your hip, squeezing it to stay still before it hooked over your thigh to lift it, your cunt glossy and wet, dried cum staying your thighs no doubt.
Your face felt hot and flush and suddenly the covers that had kept you warm were like an inferno, Jungkook shifted, grabbing his cock as he let his fat weeping head rub along your puffy slit.
A small breath escaped you as he rubbed it over your sensitive clit before back to your little entrance, and then pushing it in, your brows pinched together in discomfort, his size still big for your body to adjust too.
“Shhh,” He whispered against your neck, moaning softly as his hips started thrusting, his cock pushing further inside you as you whined, “Fuck, can’t believe this pussy is all mine,” Jungkook ushered quietly, “Mine to fuck, mine to love, mine to cum inside. Mine.”
You moaned against the pillow, your walls squeezing tight around his cock as he thrusted further inside you before pushing all the way in, his shaft rubbing just the right way inside you, “Mmm, Jungkook.” You moaned quietly.
You could feel his wicked smirk on your skin, hips suddenly thrusting rough up into you, his cock throbbing as his balls smacked against your skin, “Moan my name, only mine. Want everyone to hear, to know how good I fuck you.”
You bit down on your lip at his hips thrusting at a steady but rough pace, each time pulling almost out of you only to shove all the way back in, the fat head of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you each time.
“That's right sweetheart, cream all over it, wanna feel this pretty little cunt cum all over my cock,” Jungkook moaned in your ear, that deep rasp in his voice had your clit throbbing and your walls wrapping around him as you whined.
Overwhelmed by how big he was, how good it felt you nearly cried out at the feeling of his cock pulling out of you, your muscles tensed as your eyes snapped open at being robbed of your pleasure.
Jungkook had a sleepy smirk on his face as he sat upright against the headboard, pulling the covers off to reveal his fat, proud cock, glossy with your arousal as he offered you a hand, “Come sit on your throne my goddess.”
Your body felt hot in all kinds of ways as you took his hand before slowly crawled to him, Jungkook however manhandled you to sit on his lap, your back pressing into his chest as he pried your thighs apart, the position was all too familiar as you whined.
“Jungkook…!”
“Remember what I said last time?” Jungkook pressed a long kiss against your neck, shifting you as he grabbed his cock, gleaming coated in your arousal as he pushed the head back inside you, an audible moan from you echoing in the room as you watched in arousal and horror at how much he was splitting your cunt.
Your body could do nothing but sink down on it, whines and whimpers escaping you once again at just how thick his cock was, finally meeting the base as your body rested against his, Jungkook however had different plans, grabbing your thighs to lift them a little as he suddenly starting thrusting.
His fast pace took you off guard as you gurgled a moan, eyes unable to look at anything except his cock pulling in and out of your cunt, covered in slick arousal as you felt his shaft squeezing past your soft warm walls each time, hitting up into your sweet spot that had you moaning.
“You like watching?” Jungkook grinned, a breathy moan escaping him as his chin rested on your shoulder, eyes hazy as he watched his cock push all the way inside you, “Like being made to take this big fat cock while being made to watch.”
Jungkook’s eyes squeezed shut at how hard your walls suddenly clenched around him, taking everything in him to not cum this very moment, “You’re so fucking little,” He groaned, fingers digging into your thighs, “Love feeling that pretty little cunt wrap around me, heh yeah like that fuuck.”
His fingers found your clit rubbing them as you yelped out, walls rapidly clenching around him in a feeling that he was quickly starting to familiarize himself with, it made his cock throb in pleasure as he lifted once more, shifting you both a little so you laid back more against his chest, thrusting harder and faster this time as he pressed your clit between his fingers.
“Mmph! Koo-! Fuck, ah! Yes! Oh god, like that, please! Please!” Moans escaped you incohesively, surrendering your body to him as he fucked you roughly, hips snapping up into yours, his cock stretching out your walls each time.
Jungkook’s fingers toyed with your throbbing clit, “Thats it, moan, let them know who’s taking care of this pretty pussy, who’s filling you up with cock right now,” His hips drilling into you as he watched his cock snap in and out of your cunt each time, “Look, watch.” He growled in your ear.
Your eyes opened as you moaned, your cunt puffy and wet, stretching for him with more ease now than before, Jungkook’s hips slowed down, “You like watching yourself get fucked?”
Your throat felt dry and your body hot as his hips sensually moved, slower, deeper, making sure you felt every thrust of his hips as his cock buried deep in your cunt, “Answer.”
“Yes,” You stammered, whining a little at his cock burying inside you once more but this time not pulling out immediately after, “Like watching.” You whined quietly.
Jungkook had a wicked grin on his lips, “You like it? Being fucked by the wicked prince?” His thrusts were short, keeping his cock as deep inside you as he could, your walls clenched at the short snapped sensation, “Like it when I cum deep inside this pretty virgin cunt of yours?”
Pleasure was building rapidly in your body, your walls squeezing tightly around him each time, watching his long thick fingers rub into your clit, finding that sweet little spot that had you gasping a whine.
“Yes, yeah, fuck, mmm! Fuck Koo, gonna…!” Your body was contorting as his cock pushed all the way inside you once more.
“I remember that little mouth of yours our wedding night, remember wanting nothing more then to bend you over and stuff you full of cock,” Jungkook moaned, hips becoming sloppy, thrusts uneven, some slow, some rough, “Fuck you so hard all you’d be able to do was thank me. But look at you now.”
Jungkook smiled against your shoulder, “My pretty wife letting me fuck her tiny little cunt, letting me ruin the little virgin dryad princess. Fuck yeah, that’s it, cum all over it my love. Cum all over this cock.���
You were moaning so loud, surely people out in the halls could hear, and it only turned Jungkook on further, his cock buried inside you with the need to make sure you kept moaning, needing others to hear, to know that you were his.
His thrusts were short, keeping buried deep in your cunt as his fingers kept rubbing into the sweet spot of your clit, your walls rapidly clenching around his base as he buried into you once more before you came.
Jungkook let out a loud moan as your walls squeezed him so tight he was unable to thrust, pleasure was contorting in every part of your body as you came all over his cock just as he wanted, your clit throbbing in pleasure as Jungkook tenderly rubbed into it, milking every last bit of pleasure he could.
“God I love the way your cunt wraps around me,” He murmured, eyes tightly shut at the sensation, what he had dreamed of for so long now, the feeling of your cunt squeezing tight around him, begging to be filled with his cum.
The feeling was still foreign, having something warm and slightly sting as it roped inside you, his hands squeezing your thighs tight as he came, moaning softly in your shoulder, you both were heaving breathes.
Jungkook pressed a flutter of light kisses against your neck, fingers tracing your thighs, is fingerprints still prominent in them, “So that’s what you meant…”
“Hm?” Jungkook hummed out, nose nudging your neck in a loving manner, his fingers tracing over the skin that was slowly discoloring.
“You…once told me bruising could be attractive, is this what you meant?” You whispered, voice raspy a little humored.
You could feel the tiny smile on your neck, “Maybe. Maybe not, do you find it attractive?”
“Do you?”
Jungkook’s fingers continued to trace over the marks, “When they’re mine,” He pressed a kiss against the shell of your ear, “They’re the most attractive.”
You had gotten distracted though, his cock slipping out of you and cum oozing from your entrance you squirmed in discomfort, your face felt warm at the lewd sight.
“Mmm, that’s even more attractive though,” Jungkook moaned softly, his index finger scooping it back up before pushing it back in making you squirm.
“Jungkook…!” You whined out, immediately closing your legs.
He chuckled as he pressed a kiss against your head, “Let me grab a washcloth and get you cleaned up.”
Jungkook shuffled you out of his lap before standing up with a groan, grabbing his undershort that had never gotten worn last night as he put them on, grabbing a washcloth from the stool, walking back over to bed where you had shuffled, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed as you sat naked on his bed.
It didn’t matter if you both had just finished laying together and his cum dripped between your thighs.
Jungkook looked down at you for a long moment before a smile curled on his lips, “Are you going to let me see?”
“I…can clean myself.” You replied flustered, unable to look at those pretty blue eyes of his.
“What kind of partner would I be if I made you do that?” Jungkook snorted, grabbing your legs as he pulled you closer, it made you squeak now at the edge of the bed.
You thighs parting only a little for him, but he had quickly made it more as he pulled them further apart, his tongue grazing his lips at the sight before the warm wet cloth dragged over your thighs, his hands were attentive and gentle as he cleaned you up.
Jungkook had gotten himself halfway dressed and had just gotten your slip on just in time for the timely knock on the door, Taehyun’s voice on the otherside.
Jungkook had allowed him to come in, bowing to you both before going to Jungkook’s wardrobe, “Would you like for me to send for a maid to help the Princess?” Taehyun asked, you could tell he had to have known something was up but obviously not about to ask.
“No,” Jungkook replied, leaving your side as he walked over to Taehyun, “I’ll help her get ready for the day.”
Taehyun said nothing more aside from going over the duties Jungkook would need to attend today as he got him dressed, you had fidgeted in bed, eyes glancing at the window as light began to filter in, brighter than usual.
You would be expected to carry out your duties today as well, the rebuilding of the market had slowed down since winter had approached and Jeong Dae had warned you the building would be very slow in the winter, but to be patient.
You also had to meet with a few noble houses today to discuss resources once more, just the idea exhausted you. It had been nearly a week since the incident and yet it felt as though a day hadn’t past.
You hadn’t even noticed when the door had been shut.
“You’re in your head again.” Jungkook frowned, staring down at you, fully dressed in black today.
“So much has happened since we married,” You frowned as you looked at the window once more, “It’s difficult to not these days.”
You parted your lips but no words came, uncertain of how to express your feelings, Jungkook patiently waited as he turned away from you walking to your wardrobe, most of your clothes had been taken out, but evidently he had somehow managed to keep most of your winter wardrobe here.
“I knew it would be difficult, when we married and I would move here, leaving my land behind. I had two years of mental preparation for what may happen,” You sighed softly as you glanced at your hands, flipping them over to look at your discolored palms, “I had mainly prepared myself to be killed here. And yet…somehow, it never occured to me that living might possibly be worse. That living and yet, unable to recognize myself, would be a thousand times worse than death.”
You felt alienated from yourself, perhaps deep down you always knew you were capable of murder, the rage so deep in your bones that certainly it would strike a god down, but to have done it?
To go against everything your nation stood for? The oath you had so proudly taken as a little girl, your mothers eyes beaming down at you with pride.
Jungkook set the material out on the bed he had gathered before kneeling down in front of you, gently taking your hands in his, “Or perhaps this is just another side of you, something different, something new, change is uncomfortable. Growth is painful. I remember my first time…”
Your eyes slowly moved, meeting his as he frowned, “I was nothing more than a child, holding a sword too big, he was a grown man. It was one of our drill sergeants in training, he had despised the Jeon name and had taken to treating me as nothing more then dirt beneath his boots.”
Jungkook sighed, “He had been ruthlessly sparring with me, going as far as kicking me into the ground well past my attempt of surrender. And then he stopped, and just stared at him before laughing, saying I was pathetic, that I’d never live a day in battle. And like that he just turned his back and walked away.”
Jungkook’s eyes dropped, “I don’t even know what possessed me, but he kept laughing as he called out to his little friend that he was done with the Jeon Scum, suddenly I had unsheathed the dagger in my hand and ran at him.”
“And?” You whispered out.
Jungkook shrugged, “I don’t remember much of it anymore, I’ve been told I stabbed him over fourteen times though, I was covered in blood by the end of it and I only remember crying in the bathtub while washing myself.”
Your heart painfully squeezed for him, he couldn’t have been older than ten? Nobody would ever be fit to kill, let alone a child, “Were there consequences?”
Jungkook shook his head, “Areum had given me a light slap on the wrist, extra watch duty, less rations, things of that nature. But being the prince gave me certain privilege,” He a bitter smile grew on his face, “I think that was the first time my father ever told me he was proud of me. Said I had great promise on the battlefield and that I was meant to rule.”
“You say it with such disdain.” You frowned.
Jungkook sighed as he stood up, grabbing the dress he had picked out for you, a purple dress with long thick velvet sleeves, the material was sheer and thin but he had grabbed a thick under slip to pair with it.
Jungkook pulled the slip over your head, “Do you want my honest words on it?”
“Of course I do.” You whispered out, eyes meeting his as he pulled the material down.
“I’ve never had the desire to rule,” Jungkook said it no more than a whisper, “I don’t want the crown, I don’t want to be king.” He ushered it as if it was a crime, but suddenly he looked a little relieved as if this was the first he had ever voiced it, “I don’t want those responsibilities that come with it…”
Jungkook held your dress in his hands as his brows furrowed, “...I don’t want to be like my father.”
He spoke it as if that was the underlying reason, you stood up in front of him before wrapping your arms around his waist to hug him, “You’re nothing like him.” You whispered out, his hands wrapping around you as he squeezed you tight, nose burying in your hair.
Jungkook broke away only a little as his forehead pressed against yours, “But then I think about you, crown on top of your head, the way you visit the outer districts, redistribute what's left that the royals waste, how you sacrificed something so sacred to you…” His hand grabbed your own, pulling it towards his lips as he pressed a kiss against your palm, “And I think about how you were made to be a queen, and if I were to rule by your side…then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.”
“Truthfully?” You whispered back, looking up at him with a soft smile, “It doesn’t matter to me, as long as I’m with you.”
Jungkook only smiled, fingers tracing your neck as he gave a flutter of kisses to the palm of your hand before he let go of you, grabbing the gown as he helped you change, tentatively lacing the back of your dress before turning you around.
A sort of satisfied look on his face as if he had made the right choice, “Leave your hair down today, it looks nice like this.”
“Jungkook…” You gave him a look, you felt incomplete if you didn’t have your hair braided or styled at all.
“Indulge me today.” Jungkook replied with a sort of saccharine dripping off his tongue you had never heard before, pulling the velvet gloves over your hands.
You hated how much he had so easily convinced you as you sighed, shaking your head, “Very well, anything else.”
He nodded walking to your jewelry box once more, “I didn’t say anything, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t notice.” Jungkook walked back over to you, gently grabbing your left hand lifting it up as he held out the large black ring, your wedding ring, “Wear it with pride.”
Jungkook slid it on your ring finger making you smile as you glanced down at it, you had worn it a few times in the past, but it felt different letting him put it on you.
Your lips slowly fell though, “...I’m not ready for today.” You whispered out, Jungkook had been completely taken you away from your sickening thoughts for the last twelve hours, and soon you would have to return to reality.
Jungkook frowned as his fingers traced along your neck, “It’ll be over soon my love.” He ushered quietly before leaning in, pressing a chaste kiss against your lips, your eyes closing as you leaned into his warm touch, fingers curling around your throat as you let out the softest moan.
Jungkook refused to let this go further though, letting his hand drop as he broke the kiss, “If the day gets hard, you know where to find me.”
Your day had become tones of gray, monotonous without having even realized it, your mind was elsewhere and nobles had looked at you with mixed reactions, some in fear, some in disgust. After all, they had all seen you, seen what you had done, what you were capable of.
You had been hold up in the library the last hour and a half though, reading up on some of the policies for building that had a headache beginning to turn up in your head.
Flipping the page you had went to drink your tea only to find it ice cold, the fire crackled at the far end of the library, but here in the nook you had found it towards the window was cold.
Time had passed more than you had realized when you found your husband standing at the front of the table, looking at you expectantly.
You glanced up from your book, “Are you finished with your duties already?” He usually worked later than this.
Jungkook’s nose wrinkled, “I’ve been done for over an hour, it’s nearing seven Y/n.”
Your eyes widened as you glanced out the window, realizing it was dark outside before you looked back at him, “I’m sorry I didn’t even realize…”
Jungkook rounded the table, fingers dragging to your book before shutting it, “Enough of burying yourself in work.”
You frowned before you glanced up at him, “Do you have something in mind for us then?”
“Dinner,” Jungkook replied with a tilt of his head, “But first come, we should check on Fenrir and…you’ll enjoy the walk.”
You took the hand he offered you before hooking onto his arm as you both walked down the hall, it was a quiet night but the glances maids and nobles alike didn’t surpass you, the looks never went away.
You tried your best to ignore them as you entered to the courtyard, lips parting as you both stepped out.
Large fluffy snowflakes fell from the sky, almost shimmering against firelight as they softly landed on the ground, small piles of powder already forming as you looked around, enchanted at the sight, “It’s snowing…!” Your lips twisted into a smile, “I’ve never seen snowflakes so large…”
Jungkook’s eyes softened on you as he smiled, “I figured so, it’s our first of many snowfall to come this winter. I thought you might like to see it.”
Jungkook had led you down to the stables but your eyes were still captivated by the sky, filled with little white puffs that gracefully landed onto the ground, a loud whine however brought you back as you frowned.
“Oh my sweet boy,” You ushered out softly at the sight of seeing Fenrir limp towards you, large tail wagging behind him as you reached out for his face, tenderly rubbing his snout before planting a kiss atop his head, “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you today.”
“I saw him this morning, I let him loose while watching the guards spar,” Jungkook said, “He’s healing, by the time we travel for Yule he’ll be good as new.”
He reached out, giving a firm pat to Fenrir’s side, “We’ll be taking him with us?” You glanced back at him in surprise.
“Wolves will be roaming for food no doubt by the time we leave, it would be most safe to have him with us to scare off any predators.” Jungkook replied with a nod, “...He’s also bound to you, the grief he’d give royal staff would be something I’d never hear the end of from my father.”
You gave him a guilty smile, “I wouldn’t want to part with him either.” Fenrir had managed to lick your face causing a quiet giggle to escape you as you leaned away from him, lovingly stroking his neck.
You had gone inside his pen to straighten out his blankets and to pull out one more thicker one, now that it was snowing you were certain the winter nights would be long and cold, you truly did wish the castle would let him stay inside.
After spending a few minutes with Fenrir you let out a soft sigh, wishing to not have to depart from him so soon, but your duties had kept you all day, and tomorrow would most likely not be much better.
Fenrir as if sensing this let out a whine, his ears flattening against his head and his tail fell, “Don’t look like that,” You whispered out, your heart aching for him as you rubbed his ears, “I’ll be back tomorrow, and maybe Jungkook will let you out again.”
“We’ll see,” Jungkook replied neutral, “Inside Fenrir.”
It was a soft command the Fenrir hesitated to listen too, “Inside.” Jungkook repeated more firm making the wolf whine once more as he went back into his pen, making circles before he laid down, another high pitched whine escaping him.
“I’ll be back soon.” You whispered before kissing his head once more, closing his gate as you tried to not let his whines make you sad.
Jungkook had extended his elbow out to you once more as you took it, sighing with a frown as you gave the pen one last look, “It’s only a day, he’ll survive.”
“I still don’t know why we can’t keep him in the castle…” Your words trailed off at the sight ahead.
A silvery cloaked figured and…Wheein, bundled up in a green cloak, cheeks rosy pink from the chill as you both paused, it hadn’t been fair that you hadn’t even gotten to see her since she had been trialed.
You had immediately left Jungkook’s side, “Wheein!”
Tears filling your eyes as she met you halfway, “Y/n! I’m so, so incredibly sorry!” She whispered out as you both embraced, tears of joy, tears of relief, you weren’t sure, but seeing her in person, being able to tightly hug her.
It had all suddenly rushed in your mind, that what you had committed, why you had done it, it wasn’t just for your own survival, but it was for the survival of someone else, your arms squeezed around her.
You broke away from her, grabbing her hands in our own as you both looked at one another, Wheein immediately noticing your tiredness, “Are you okay?” She whispered out.
“You were nearly executed, I should be asking you that.” You frowned.
“But you…” Wheein couldn’t bring herself to say the words, the silence loud as you looked away from her.
Your eyes dropped down to her own gloved hands before finally back at her, “You are alive, and so am I. I will be okay…with time.”
“You should be at home resting with your family Wheein.” Jungkook had decided to step into the conversation, words softly reprimanding.
“I couldn’t stay away any longer, not after everything that has happened. I owe you both my life, and I wanted to give my thanks for all you have done for me. As well as…” Wheein frowned disapprovingly as she turned to the cloaked figure.
Taehyung.
“I’ve heard about the ill-spoken words.” Wheein stared him down as she let go of her hands, taking a few steps back as she gestured the man over.
Taehyung frowned, scratching his cheek as he shuffled in front of you, “What I accused you of Princess…I cannot take back my words, but all I can do is ask for your forgiveness.”
You gaped as he dropped to one knee, bowing his head, “I spoke without thinking and let my emotions get the better of me.”
“Taehyung…” You whispered softly, true his words had wounded you but you couldn’t entirely blame him, you had no idea what would do if Jungkook was in such a similar situation, “While your words hurt, being upset like that is understandable. We were all afraid of what would happen, I would never hold it against you.”
“Stand up Taehyung,” Jungkook spoke, his eyes not quite as kind as yours but it seemed he had a similar line of thought, “While your words were border treason…” He trailed off, glancing down at you briefly, “If the love of my life was also on death's doors, there’s no telling the hell I would raise.
“Love of your life?” Wheein squeaked out, clearly embarrassed at the comparison, but it made a soft smile tug on your lips.
Taehyung bowed at this, “I won’t speak out of line again. I still hope to one day serve as your hand Your Highness.”
Jungkook snorted, “We’ll see about that. Now you need to escort Wheein back-”
“With all do respect,” Wheein spoke up, a small shy smile on her face, “I would like to return from my leave early, I would like nothing more then to be back in service to the Princess once more.”
Jungkook frowned disapprovingly but you had spoke before he did, “You are always welcomed to return Wheein, your company would be a light that I need right now.”
Jungkook sighed, “Very well, then return to your quarters for the night,” He began walking, pulling you along with him, “And we’ll see you in the morning.”
Snow fell quietly and you could hear the owls trill out, your heart feeling just a little more light, the road ahead would be only just as treacherous, but with Jungkook by your side, and the friends you had made.
You could only hope it would be enough.
#bts#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x reader smut#jungkook smut#prince!jungkook#prince!jungkook x reader#bts au#jungkook imagine
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