#you do not actually care about the personal and societal plights of women and are only concerned about yourself and others as “men”

[teayaki]

I often see people discuss the narrative of women being put down by men and the social and economical systems that they have built.

But as I have grown older, I have realized that the depths of these inequalities are truly not understood.

They are not understood because they have never been felt.

Many men in their lives will never experience the painstakingly meticulous ways in which our characters as women are picked apart. They will never feel the scrutiny of every eye in the room, silently judging you and picking apart your face, your body, your hair, your skin, your stance, how you smell, how you smile, how you stand, how you move, how you speak, and even how you breathe.

Everything, everything, is up on a platform for review.

And not because we want it to be, but simply because we exist in the same room, the same town, the same country, the same world, as men.

We exist. But we exist "differently" and so, we must be examined.

But we are "different" and therefore we can never be as good as them.

Everything about our character must be questioned.

There is a noticeable apprehension before a group of men truly trust the character of a woman.

"Are you sure? How can we verify this?"

"We must ask another group of men for the same answer before we trust a woman."

I read fiction books in my high school about women living during the turn of the 19th century, struggling with themselves. Struggling to fill the voids in their lives, these feelings of a lack of purpose. Struggling to maintain a decent status amongst their peers. Fretting appearances whilst fretting personal fulfillment.

But, they could never find peace or satisfaction with themselves, and it wasn't due to a lack of trying. It was because there is only so much that these women are allowed to do within their current restrictive societies.

And when these women were at their lowest, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope in their lovers. Yes, surely these men who flirt and kiss and "love" them will truly try to understand them.

Laughable.

Their lovers extinguish that last glimmer of hope.

They do not see these women as people, independent persons, but as objects, attachments, dolls.

Your autonomy is nonexistent and your character will forever be questioned.

There is nothing like the deep sorrow of women.

It is the tragic realization that you will never be recognized or valued for who you are.

Simply because you exist, you will be questioned, you will be scrutinized, and you will not be valued.

When you are forced to constantly swim through a repulsive, putrid narrative like this, how could you not break?

So, before you men blow off our pain, because you don't think it's that bad, remember that people like you have always been placed on a higher pedestal. You have never had to have this type of deep-seeded sorrow and existentialism forcibly shoved into your heart. You will never have to experience the subtle and silent, or even loud and violent, acts that are carried out against us, simply because we are women.

You will never feel it, because you don't have to.

But if you can empathize, please do.

And if you can't, keep walking until you fall off the face of the earth.

[dittolicous]

I mean, like I said in the comments, my issue just stems from the contradictory statements of living for Miri or making the most of her time, yet not giving up the very thing that may have led to her cancer (or at the very least, makes it worse). You can't have it both ways. I won't deny quitting is absolutely hard but she has no excuse anymore. Yeah, she's 10000% safer than Kazuki and Rei and Miri truly loves her, but to give up on quitting is kinda unacceptable. It's an expensive habit that will only make her health and Miri's health worse. And it's not like it's going to get any easier to do while raising a toddler and handling cancer.

I def agree lighting up without asking is incredibly rude. I don’t know if I want to really judge her harshly for it since we don't know what Kyu told her and let's not forget how harshly Kazuki judged her way back before (over many things that women truly get no societal support in, such as abuse, addiction, mental health, and reproductive rights).

Really, she came off on this whole thing extremely strong, declaring she was taking Miri back right away instead of acknowledging she made a mistake but that she was glad for the good they've done in caring for her daughter. Or even just asking to talk to them. I feel like if she hadn't come out guns ablazing, Kazuki would have been much more sympathetic to her plight. She might just be a bit rough around the edges like the guys were in the start so. Understandable.

But, back to my point, I just think of all the habits to break, it's highly questionable that smoking wasn't the first one and that she ho so far as to do it in front of the guys she's pleading to about wanting to do better.

This is exactly like my last post about her, re: Actions v. Thoughts. She had the desire to hit Miri, but never gave it or let it actually hurt Miri. She was strong in that case. Not great, but given the situation, she was actually trying. This time, she's saying she want's to live for Miri... while lighting up a cancer stick.

I won't demonize her, there's definitely a story beneath her surface and I 100% believe she loves Miri despite everything. And this could all be a hint that there's something more going on behind the scenes, but I would not place Misaki on any side other than Good. She clearly did something right for Miri to be Miri.

I just *personally* hate that loving her child while dying isn't enough to stop smoking. Pet peeve, if ya will xD

actually my one grievance against misaki after ep 10:

YOU HAVE THROAT CANCER WHY TF ARE YOU STILL SMOKING????!!!!?!?!!!!!!

[jameelajamilfan]

Press: JAMEELA JAMIL HITS OUT AT CRITICS WHO SAY SLIM WOMEN CAN’T FIGHT BODY SHAMING

New Post has been published on https://jameelajamil.org/2019/01/22/press-jameela-jamil-hits-out-at-critics-who-say-slim-women-cant-fight-body-shaming/

Press: JAMEELA JAMIL HITS OUT AT CRITICS WHO SAY SLIM WOMEN CAN’T FIGHT BODY SHAMING

Jameela Jamil has addressed criticisms that she has no right to speak out about body shaming because she is “slim”.

The Good Place actor posted a lengthy note on Twitter explaining that she is not trying to “be the face” of the body positivity movement, but that she wants to make the most of her platform by giving marginalised groups a voice.

“A note from me to anyone who feels uncomfortable that a slim woman is fighting body shaming as hard as I am,” the 32-year-old’s message begins.

“It’s not only because of my extensive experience with public fat shaming from the press, eating disorders and disability as a teen, but also because I want change for all.”

The London-born presenter runs an Instagram account called @I_weigh, which encourages women to find value in the things that they do and care about as opposed to the way they look.

A note from me to anyone who feels uncomfortable that a slim woman is fighting body shaming as hard as I am. It’s not only because of my extensive experience with public fat shaming from the press, eating disorders and disability as a teen, but also because I want change for all. pic.twitter.com/RoEVzgBEAe

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) January 22, 2019

“I just want to make clear what we are doing at @I_weigh,” she continues, “we are building a platform we will use to lift up actual activists from different marginalized groups”.

Jamil acknowledged that she has been afforded privileges due to her high profile job and her looks “being deemed societally ‘acceptable’” but added that this should not detract from her intentions, which are to amplify the voices of important body positive activists.

“This is not me trying to steal your movement,” she added in reference to accusations that she has commandeered body positivity to boost her personal profile.

“It’s me trying to kick the gates open for it.”

She added that this message was particularly addressed to plus-size black women, who “are so left out of this conversation”.

“It’s my bad for not having understood your plight and fought harder with you sooner. It was ignorance, not a lack of care. I stand with you now and forever.”

So far, her message has been well received by fans, garnering more than 8,500 likes on Twitter and thousands of comments from people thanking Jamil for her candour.

“It’s not ever easy to admit when we’ve gone wrong and where we must do better. Love that you can own up to those moments and even more that you actually do the work to grow,” wrote one person. “Thank you for using your platform and privilege to create space for others.”

Another added: “As a ‘fat’ woman, I applaud your efforts and admire you for speaking out and holding various people, publications and organizations accountable. The world could use a lot more people like you.”

Jamil regularly makes headlines for her body positivity advocacy. Most recently, for example, she called for a ban on airbrushing and condemned cosmetics giants Avon for “shaming women” with its latest ad.

The Avon campaign, which the company has since apologised for, featured a smiling woman with the tagline: “Dimples are cute on your face (not on your thighs)”.

Jamil posted the ad on her Twitter page, explaining that dimples on thighs were “completely normal thing” for women and that implying otherwise “literally sets us up for failure”.

Source: The Independent

[twinmiki]

Be A Disrupt-Her: An Empowering Conversation With Miki Agrawal

Miki Agrawal, social crusader and entrepreneur, discusses the key to lighting up your life in her book Disrupt-her: A Manifesto for the Modern Woman. Get out a highlight-her and start taking notes -- this interview is as epic as they come...

By Carrie Yang on March 7, 2020, via THE BOSSBABE SOCIÉTÉ

If you haven’t heard the name Miki Agrawal, you might know of some of the businesses she founded: Wild, Thinx, Speax, TUSHY. She’s the author of two books, Do Cool Sh*t and her newest book that just launched, Disrupt-her: A Manifesto for the Modern Woman.

In my conversation with Miki, we delve into HOW she has disrupted so many industries and her own life and HOW she sees opportunities where others can’t.

But first, here’s a brief and impressive rundown if you don’t know Miki Agrawal or her companies.

WHO IS MIKI AGRAWAL?

Miki Agrawal left her career in investment banking to disrupt the restaurant industry in 2006 in her mid-20’s with her gluten-free farm-to-table pizza concept, Wild. She knew that the world and NYC were ready for pizza that was truly better for your body and tasted great years before the “clean eating” and “gluten-free” trend that we’ve recently seen.

Miki then soared to magazine covers when she co-founded Thinx, which disrupted the menstruation market with their patented invention of period panties that you could bleed into that were odorless, wicking, and machine-washable. Thinx became one of the first companies to tackle the then hush-hushed period industry with Miki at the helm. You may remember the iconic grapefruit ad feud with the NYC Subway system. Oh, and they won.

Then there’s Speax, a similar underwear for women who suffer from female incontinence (where you just pee a little) that affects many women including mothers and the elderly.

Now onto TUSHY, the modern attachable bidet company she founded to disrupt the archaic toilet paper industry. This is where I met Miki. I worked with her while I was leading the marketing efforts at TUSHY.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A DISRUPT-HER?

Miki Agrawal is a social crusader and disrupt-her not only in branding, products, and social movements but also in how she lives her personal and public life. In Miki’s newest book, Disrupt-her, she digs into this disrupt-her mindset that’s allowed her to see opportunities in business and daily practices to lead a more fulfilled life.

Disrupt-her digs into 13 areas of our lives that need disruption from money, career, purpose, culture of complaining vs doing, activism, feminism, patriarchy, and more.

This manifesto changed the way I think. It changed my life, and it will change yours. Here’s why…

I asked Miki Agrawal why Disrupt-her and why now? The fire in her voice was contagious.

“In building all of these companies with my teams, Wild, Thinx, Speax, and TUSHY all faced resistance at first. But now look at them, they’re all successful and worth a combined 200 million! People’s first reactions were always no. But the success of these period, pee, and poop companies and just doing things a different way proves society is wrong about a lot of things. And it’s not just these things!

It’s really how we operate, how we think about the things in our lives, relationships, our relationship to stuff and things, the education system, activism, career, money, and the patriarchy and feminism. There’s a societally accepted stance on all of these things. And it’s really difficult to stray from it. Especially when it seems easier to stay in the safe path and not ruffle any feathers. You often see that people are afraid to look beyond that barrier of society. But WHY should we care about staying within these societal boundaries?

“We should be questioning everything!”

We should be shifting culture and moving the world forward. With such a short amount of time on the planet, why should we care about what other people think when we know we’re acting on integrity and really trying to leave the world a better place than we entered? I just want to show everyone that we can be disrupt-hers of our own lives and help make the future better!”

But going against the social barriers is hard, it’s scary, and it’s risky! This is what Miki Agrawal had to say about that.

“Disrupting isn’t about fear. It’s really about courage and eliminating shame.”

“Shame plays a big role in what type of person we should be like what we should look like, what kind of car we should drive, how we should act in front of people etc. Thing is, who’s standards are we thinking about? Once you question everything, you can really start to see the opportunities and where you can really make a difference.”

In this book, you’ll LEARN how to spot disruption within even some of the most common beliefs!

“So many areas of our lives need disruption and it all starts with HOW we question and view the world.”

In her own words, I’ve highlighted some of the most impactful points that Miki discussed in our interview on how to think and be a Disrupt-her.

“Question everything in your life.”

“Disruption is first internal and you have to start by questioning every aspect of your life! To a certain extent, you also have to recognize that everything in our society was made up by our fellow humans before us. From our money system to our education system and to the way we wipe our butts after pooping. Toilet paper was literally invented in the 1800s and in an age where we all have smartphones, we’re still wiping the exact same way with dry paper? When you hop in the shower, you don’t just wipe down with dry paper and call yourself clean. You use water! We use water to clean the rest of our body. Why are we still using dry paper to clean the dirtiest part?  That’s why I started TUSHY.

Also, our modern education system is actually based on the industrial revolution!  We’re still sending kids to school where they learn the same way as they did in the industrial revolution where schools were built to make factory workers for the assembly lines.  Kids are still sitting in uniform desks and learning the same way in the factory era where they wanted kids to follow the rules and do what they’re instructed. But our world now needs creative thinkers and kids who know how to solve the problems we face today. We have to disrupt!

As women especially, we HAVE to disrupt the way we think about money. Finance and money based industries have always been male-dominated, so women have always had a tougher time talking about money. When you realize that money is literally an energy exchange that humans have agreed holds value, then you can really change the way you approach it. It’s not scary or awkward. You just have to invest your money intelligently! Ellevest is a great tool for women to start investing and to really protect their own future.

If you’re wanting to disrupt an industry, start asking questions about WHY that industry does what they do. Why are they still doing something? What can be improved?

Question your own personal beliefs too! Are the things that you believe societal rules or is it something that we truly believe ourselves?  Why should you stay in this safe job? Do you know why are you following this career path? Why do you feel this is what you should do?”

“Follow your own lit path.”

“We only have 21 thousand days left to live after we graduate college! That’s it! Life is simply too short for us to live by a path given to us by society. Instead, we should be living our own path that you should create for yourself. In the Disrupt-her, I call it the lit path. And what I mean by lit path is following and doing the things that light you up! The lit path should be filled with things that you are excited about learning in this world! You should be passionate about your lit path! When you follow your lit path, you should be closer to making an impact that you hope to have on this world.

But even then, you have to always question your actions and your beliefs, so you can make sure you’re following your own true lit path.”

“Surround yourself with a community of champions.”

“In this entrepreneurial journey, I’ve gone through the highs of the highs but also the lows. To maintain my mental wellness, I’ve gotten so much support. From my rock-solid community, partner, and leadership coach. For me, my community of friends are all disrupt-hers in their own way. They all get the plight of what it takes to truly disrupt. In order to be an effective disrupt-her, you’ll need to recognize the people who are championing your ideas, your thoughts, your dreams. Then that’s the people that you need to surround yourself with! Figure out who they are and then schedule meet-ups, hangouts, and just spend time together to lift each other up. There’s just no room for the people that bring you down. None.”

“Rather than complain, come up with solutions!”

“I read this study where they found that people literally get together just to complain about their jobs, bosses, lives.  Rather than getting together and complaining, why don’t we bring people together to come with solutions and ideas, positive uplifting, shifting culture, and not just complain about other people or situations?! If you’re unsatisfied with something in your life, think about it from a more productive angle. Come up with a solution, and do it!

For example, if you have a complaint about something at work. Before you go into your boss’s office to complain, you should think about solutions first and then present the solution and issue to your boss. This way, you’re actually way more valuable at your company and people will want you around more!”

Carrie Yang

Carrie is a co-founder and the Chief Marketing Officer of Sniffle Health, a mobile telemedicine app. Before embarking on the start-up journey, Carrie earned her academic degree in biochemistry and molecular biology with a pursuit of medicine. She turned down her medical school acceptance and worked in finance for a year before realizing she wanted to an active part in growing a company. She’s since led the marketing for a couple of start-up companies including TUSHY and Chef Shuttle, which exited in an multi-million dollar acquisition. Carrie is a firm believer in self-expression and perpetual progress as differentiated thoughts followed by differentiated actions, drive innovation. In the wild, you’ll find Carrie grooving at a concert or music festivals, sparking conversations with strangers about spirituality and business ideas, and eating her way through the world (with extra hot sauce). Connect with me on Instagram: the_cyang

[eichy815]

Despicable You

Within the past two years, there's no doubt that the toxic political atmosphere generated by Donald Trump and many of his supporters has spilled over to rub off onto the general public.  The onus, however, cannot be placed 100% upon them.  I believe that the deluge of nastiness we've seen infect the fabric of everyday life is only a consequence of decades' worth of pent-up rage within the American psyche.  From all directions.

The Trump campaign was merely the self-indulgent squeeze that popped open the cork.

In virtually every facet of life, people disrespect each other.  They disregard worldviews or philosophies that are inherently different from their own.  And they do this with a scourge of unapologetic rudeness.

The View's Sunny Hostin has opined, in recent months, how our contemporary American political climate is suffering from a lack of civility.  The problem, however, is that such civility may not have ever actually existed to any meaningful degree.  Or, to the extent that it did, it was rather superficial.  We weren't seeing what lurked beneath the surface.

Truthfully, I've always observed our world as being one where anybody can potentially become a villain.  And, by the same token, anyone can potentially be vilified.  It depends on the spin that fast-talking egotists put on whichever narrative is used.

My appeal to everyone is this:  when you know that a narrative is deceptive or flawed...call people out on it.  No matter who the person is, or what their background happens to be!

We have the overly-puritanical Americans who demonize everything ranging from homosexuality to swearing to contraception to condoms to on-screen nudity.  In the process, though, they are repressing those whom they wish to control.  With repression comes resentment.  

There are those who bask in their “sectarian privilege.”  If they identify as Republicans, they make excuses for bad policy whenever the GOP is in control of the government; they’re all too willing to look the other way or rationalize it whenever their own party “changes the rules” (i.e. CHEATS) to rig the system in their favor.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are Democrats who make similar excuses for bad policy whenever their own party is in power.  They talk down to anyone who offers up even CONSTRUCTIVE criticism of Democratic legislation...and use *Those_Nasty_Republicans* as a perpetual bogeyman through which they can duck accountability and retain their DNC-based (or congressional) patronage positions.

These sectarians fall into the “team sports” mindset of defending their own... no matter what.  They try to paint every member of the opposition as being a clone of either Mitch McConnell or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.  Yet, when someone “on their own team” is guilty of corruption or bad behavior, it “isn’t as bad” because that person is at least peddling philosophies (or a caucus vote) that happen to be agreeable to them.

Speaking of those who love to “defend their own”...

Authority figures.  Namely the police.  Cops shamelessly engage in police brutality against people of color, and then rely on their colleagues to circle the wagons so they can get off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.  This unspoken code of “protecting their own” harms citizens who have no wealth or institutional power by rendering us defenseless.

But it isn’t limited to just police officers.  Look at how many TSA officers routinely get away with harassing or accosting airport passengers, indiscriminately.  Or how certain corrupt union leaders “skim off the top” at the expense of hard-working union members.  Or secondary school principals (or college administrators) who blatantly engage in favoritism, cronyism, and selective discipline to make themselves feel more important.

ABUSE.  OF.  POWER.

This gives them an excuse to rail against “safe spaces,” or to bask in generalized ageism against Millennials and the iGeneration.  They shame students for not remaining conservatively-dressed or for engaging in harmless nudity pranks.  They categorically rail against the mere presence of college fraternities and sororities.  They accuse anyone who advocates for any semblance of fairness as someone who apparently “wants a trophy.”  In fact, public-shaming of *ACTUAL* delinquent young people is often embraced or celebrated.

Although many people use the concept of “political correctness” to cherrypick the topics against which they shall personally rail, there is some truth to the existence of instances where there’s political-correctness-run-amuck. 

There’s the tendency of the *truly* politically-correct to gloss over injustices against indigenous people, such as those brought to the forefront by the Standing Rock water protectors and leaders of the “Idle No More” movement.�� Meanwhile, so-called “educators” (or other white hyperliberals) seem to think it’s sufficient to simply bash white people (as “invaders”) using broad verbal platitudes.  Never mind the actual legislative reform, huh?

There are also the ridiculous instances of race-baiting that occur.  People of color are demonized for speaking out about institutional racism, for supposedly failing to be “color-blind,” or for advocating on behalf of the #BlackLivesMatter movement.  In turn, whites are degraded for not being willing to endure the instances where social racism gets directed at us -- and, if you’re a white guy with a penis, any legitimate complaints about such treatment end up being likened to the narcissistic, entitled behavior of Brock Turner and Ryan Lochte (even though Lochte is half-Cuban).

In the meantime, all of this interracial, intergenerational strife is exploited by the media to distract our collective attention away from issues that anthropologically affect humanity’s future -- *true* health care reform, water sustainability, electoral reform, and the maintenance of a robust and plentiful food supply.

But the excuse-makers say we shouldn’t be so hard on journalists for their ineptitude...because we purportedly need them as our last line of defense against Donald Trump. 

Oh, and it’s supposedly understandable that the media does this...because, you know...“ratings.”

People get bashed by others for how they choose to celebrate their seasonal holidays -- either their methods for celebration are “too Christian” or “not Christian enough.”  For Halloween, others find all kinds of excuses to rain on everyone’s multi-costumed parade. 

Those of us who identify as political Independents are lambasted for wanting to improve the way presidential debates are run, while having our political affiliations (or lack thereof) gratuitously challenged...all the while, being mocked and berated for having declined to vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016.  Hell, we get raked over the coals if we take a stand for allowing peanut butter in school cafeterias!

And then there are the gender roles...

Folks are quick to center their entire discussions around a cisgender, heteronormative worldview.  Men must be chivalrous toward women when dating and throughout life in general.  Women are categorically associated with behavior that’s “too femininine,” and, thereby, “undesirable.”  The roles of mothers and fathers are arbitrarily designated with no regard to socioeconomic variables or individual parental qualities.

Oh, and for crying out loud -- WHAT IS WITH all of the body-shaming?????   Not to mention chalking up a person’s identity to whichever geographic region they happened to be born in...or where they currently reside.

Then, what happens when some of us try to offer up a voice of reason and put forth viable solutions to these social/economic ills?  We either get dismissed by political doomsayers -- because, apparently, we’re all too far beyond salvation -- or we get likened to self-professed “centrists” who aren’t really all that moderate at their core.  Or we get told we’re just a bunch of “Bernie Bros” with our heads in the clouds who don’t have a grip on reality.  Or, if we take to social media in order to get noticed, we are chided for using the Internet to supposedly seek attention for ourselves.

Well, did you ever stop to consider how perhaps we wouldn’t need social media to be “attention-seekers” had those powerful decision-makers who currently enjoy the limelight not plummeted us all into such egregious societal chaos in the first place?

Oh, and then we’re told “not to take things personally.”  Well -- pardon me if I view my continued survival on this planet as a “personal” matter...

No matter what the nature of certain prejudice, bigotry, and discrimination happens to be...it all comes back to a general lack of respect for others.  I don’t care what you’ve been through in your life.  You may have been tortured, raped, defrauded, stressed, defamed, or stripped of all your worldly possessions.  If so, I truly want to help you acquire a better life that’s to your satisfaction.  But when you proceed to turn around and lash out at someone who isn’t to blame for your plight in life -- or who doesn’t understand your personal experiences -- demanding that they have unquestioned-and-unconditional empathy (and then calling them names!) is the surest way to cultivate even greater toxicity.

Overall, Americans just need to quit being so judgmental toward people within, and outside of, this country.  In turn, the international community must quit being so judgmental toward Americans “as a whole.”  Direct your animosity toward INDIVIDUALS; and, when people try to hold those INDIVIDUALS accountable, don’t accuse them of supposedly “holding grudges.”

Yeah, go ahead and call me an “angry white gay cisgender nonpartisan Midwest-born heathen man.”  By trying to use my individuality to “turn the tables on me,” you’re only making yourself look foolish...sort of like my ex-neighbor, Edie.  Or my former sociology instructor, Leonard. 

After all, it’s probably very inconvenient for you that I don’t classify myself as a “simple creature,” right?

Take your wayward, dysfunctional, groupthink-style anger or self-pity elsewhere -- because you’re really not going to enjoy my reaction to you.  And stop calling me “Tony”...that isn’t my name, anymore!!!

I direct my rage and bitterness toward the correct people.  The people who have no sense of justice.  The people who want to reduce others to objects or slurs based exclusively on their social identities.

The people who are ACTUALLY despicable.