#feeling brave will tag them all
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yttd cast but i only gave myself 30 seconds for each character's lineart
#my art#your turn to die#yttd#sara chidouin#jou tazuna#joe tazuna#keiji shinogi#q taro burgerberg#kanna kizuchi#shin tsukimi#reko yabusame#nao egokoro#kazumi mishima#kai satou#gin ibushi#alice yabusame#feeling brave will tag them all#alice is my favorite here#also for some reason this file is like HUGE. my program crashed several times#i forgot alices collar.....sad
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get dragon'd IDIOTS (affectionate)
(plus dlc pack:)
#linked universe#lu#wind lu#four lu#legend lu#hyrule lu#time lu#wild lu#warriors lu#twilight lu#sky lu#shadow lu#ravio lu#aryll lu#<-(those last ones not sure are tags but I do be tagging them so shrug emoji)#alt in id#dragon doodles#FEELING A TOUCH CRINGE POSTING THIS... but am rly proud of my work even if premise is niche from get go so braving that feeling#used all my braincells on this for the past like 5 days so many aminals so much brain into the weird funny sillys#think I'm going to post them on my very dormant draconification sideblog individually too as a treat but not right now I don't think#for now I will lay on ground and shrimply Not draw a billions of creature
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playing my game with my friend
#freedyn#<- my new tag for me playing halflife#that first barney. um. i accidentally killed.#I DIDNT MEAN TO. I FEEL SO BAD#HE WAS ALREADY HURT AND I TURNED AROUND TO SAY SOMETHING TO HIM AND MISCLICKED AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH#i fell out of my chair to my knees i felt so fucking bad. oh my god#i SHOULDVE LEFT HIM AT HIS LITTLE POST ohh my gpd. im gonna hurl.#the other barney was just an actual madman he took out all the vorts in office complex by himself unprompted it was kind of scary#he jjust ran past me and started shootin and was like :D did you see that shot!#trailing behind him like yeah babe i did that was so cool. are you feeling okay#HE WAS BEING SCARY he was so brave and charming but jesus christ#*i* didnt have to kill them but. woah#transmission#VIDEO GAMES ARE FUN#half life#barney calhoun
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...so now that grandfest is over and the results were revealed am i allowed to say that some of y'all were such dicks to team present over their team choice for NO good reason ever since grandfest was revealed or am i going to get mauled for being right.
anyways congrats to the team past members who weren't assholes about their team choice and those team past members only every match against you guys made me feel like i was crawling in the trenches and it's very impressive 👍
#ghost whispers#splatoon#splatfest#grandfest#grand festival#feeling brave i'm putting this in the tags. just know if u start shit i'm blocking u#if u think me posting this is why i turned off asks ur mistaken i've had them off for a hot second now lol#i know it's in the spirit of finalfest to be an ass to the team y'all don't want to win ig but. seriously. some of y'all needed to shut up#genuinely i'm so sick of hearing 'at least team present didn't win' or 'don't let present win' and y'all being dicks about our team choice#that and i'm going to be real i genuinely doubt nintendo is going to do that much for what the winning team will effect the next game#u all saw how much chaos effected splat 3. u saw how much splat 1's effected things#like i'm going to be real it's only going to effect shit subtly i feel like and the losing teams are still gonna have a presence like alway#and that point aside. people were also picking past for squid sisters and future for deep cut too so i'm just???#baffled why u need to complain about the small selection of people who picked present for oth??? who gives a shit
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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📚 Cg! Clay HCS!!! 💚🎶
Aggagaggaggag first hc list I do EVERRR (so please be kind (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) /💗💗)
Cg! Clay x Agere! Reader!!
pretty much gender neutral!!
Cw: caps lock (just me having happy outbursts), um lotsa author notes and commentary I just wanna talk about him and about how he would be as a cg :ccc, also this is incredibly self indulgent
Also there was no proof reading ☠️
(Crossposted on ao3 @Soft_Buzz!! oh and I’ll update this if I get a new hc idea)
Anyways here you go 💚:
•nicknames for you: kiddo, baby, bubba, bubba wubba (he’s squeezing your cheeks and baby talking you 😭😭), prince/princess/ lil highness/royal, and a number of other sweet nicknames or any that you prefer!
•he would be suuuuuch a sweet and doting caregiver waaaaaaah but he would definitely ensue rules for you! Calm and Strict(ish) cg! Clay would pull up to make sure you are safe and healthy even if you are feeling big!!
•he’d hate to see you hurt or sick, but he’d do everything thing in his power to nurse you back to health :]!
•Clay would definitely provide his kiddo with healthy snack or with fruit or veggie cups!
•Although Clay’s sorta strict he can be soooo soft he always want to hold you, whether it’s your hand/pinkie or cuddle up with you.
•You are his battery and he wants to recharge.
* HE WOULD SOOOO READ TO YOUUUU AHHH he loooooves reading so ofc he’d love to share that interest with his little one
• (please it’s the cutest thing ever)
• imagine him beside you with a book open (he has his reading glasses on :3) and as he reads, he gives all the different characters different voices and will always put emotion into his reading voice, which always leads to you giggling or you gasping in surprise.
• One time you insisted that you were big enough for his sad book club and that you wouldn’t become a big puddle of tears so he gave you Charlotte’s Web to read.
• You were a mess. You didn’t stop being sad for the next couple of HOURS (yes this is a reference to that JD fan art ifykyk☠️)
• Clay had to give you so many hugs, cuddles, and kisses to make up for it. He thought it’d be funny, but he sorta forgot how emotional of a little one you can be.
• “I’m so so sorry baby.” *kiss* “How can I make it up to you?? I’ll do anything”
• oh you’d grin a that. You choose to either do dress up WITH make up or draw on his face and mess around with his hair. AND ice cream.
• You took soooo many pictures (and you may or may have not shared them with Viva, Poppy, and his brothers) Clay says he hates you for it, but secretly believes it was so worth it to see that sparkle in your eyes
• he bought you a piggy and a spider (with little bb spiders) stuffie. Even if you have arachnophobia, you hugged those stuffies while crying happy tears. You gave him a tight hug which he softly returned and gave you a forehead kiss.
• (This whole event was also the birth of your happy scrapbook club!! (even though it just you :} ) )
• You and Clay will just sit together while reading different things. Him with some well recognized and praised novel or book and you with a happy lil scrapbook in your hands!
• I’d also like to think he has a puppet character like Bandit does with unicorse! (Maybe a dragon but that just me :])
• (Clay and Branch be matching with their ventriloquism skills lol)
• If you seem to be clumsy or fall often he starts to develop a sort of spider sense for it and will catch you before disaster happens
• OKOK I know this is gonna sound random buuuut I believe Clay is the type to carry lollipops, and sometimes other candy, around. Idk like I can just picture him a with a lollipop in his mouth trying to look all serious/mysterious and nonchalant LOL
• ANYWAYS back to the Agere stuff
• I think that after completing a task or being good, Clay would def give his kiddo a lollipop as a treat!! that orrrrr if his kiddo seems to be regressing in public and they really want/need a paci or just something to fixate on then boom!!! Lollipop! :D
• Talking about rewards
• This man would sooooo spoil you!! you’re his treasure and he wants you to know it!!
• He’ll either get you food you’ve been craving or a stuffed animal/little gear orrrr both!!
• (Because of the two of you, you now have a chest fuuuull of stuffies Woops💧)
• You always try to show your appreciation by giving him small handmade gifts!! A lil pop up card, bead bracelets (you definitely have matching bracelets), even something crocheted/knitted, and pretty much any arts n crafts you can make!
• Now onto funny business ( •̀ - • )!
• so ofc when it first came to having fun and being playful with you he was bit scared
• can you blame him???
• He’d spent A LOT of time trying to get rid/away from the tittle of being the fun boy
• Ofc through lot of reassurance you let him know that he can have fun and play with you and still be a very serious caregiver!
• you help him understand that being funny and silly every once in a while doesn’t hurt and that he should try to find a balance that work for him! Which he eventually does :D!!
• I like to believe that he’d be great at playing pretend and hide and seek!
• “Worry not your highness!! You will protect you from the dragon!” (It’s one of your plushies)
• “Wherever could my kiddo be?? They must have turned invisible!!” (he can hear your giggles which just makes his smile wider)
• Although he really tries to be there for you, he’s a reaaaally busy man :((( but he still tries to spend time with you through parallel play! While he’s doing his grown up paperwork, you get to colooor!! (or draw or scrapbook or anything really) as long you promise to be good and not distract him
• (plus the sooner he’s done the sooner he can give you all his attention! so it’s a win-win situation :D)
• Actually if you were feeling extra lil you’d just get a paper and scribble on it with crayon trying to copy Clay’s mannerisms (when he sees this he’s physically holding himself back from just picking you up, cradling you, and just babying you waaaah you’re gonna be the end of him)
• oh and he would sooo keep your little artworks in his working area (they bring a sweet smile to his face and warm his soul you’re the best kiddo he could have ever asked for)
• You also get to have cuddles while he works! Sometimes he’ll just sit you on his lap with a stuffie or two while he wraps an arm around you and litters your head or face with kisses!
• Now onto not so funny business ૮๑ˊᯅˋ๑ა
• sometimes Clay’ll have a rough or tiring day :((
* and that’s okk caregivers have their moments too!
• He’ll usually want to cuddle with you and hold you close. (You are his stuffie :D)
• He might even tickle you or blow raspberries on your tummy (if you give him permission ofc!!) which often leaves you with a giggling and squirming fit.
• He just loves seeing you laugh and smile (especially if it’s him who made you happy :] you just brighten his day so much sometimes)
• One time he was just so tired and just laying down on the couch and then you brought one stuffie to him and then two till you pretty much had him buried under almost all of your stuffies!!
* You then proceeded to lay on top of him, and Clay just sticks both arms out from under the pile while smiling softly with his eyes closed.
• Let’s just say you guys woke up with stuffed animals scattered eeeeeverywhere
• If you’re a kiddo/baby who tends to get overwhelmed easily, he’ll get you some noise canceling/dampening headphones and just wraps you in a soft blanket like a little burrito.
• He’ll also either get you an eye mask or will lower the lights if he can. (And if you’re feeling lil enough then a paci too!!)
• After doing any of this, he’ll just bring you onto his lap and whisper sweet lil nothings to you till you feel better or seem to fall asleep :D!
• would enforce a bed time >:( (he is a very very veeeery serious guy after all)
• but luckily bedtime means a bottle or sippy of sweet sleepy tea and a storyyyy :D!!
• Forehead kisses!! (CALL ME BIASED CAUSE I LOOOOOVE FOREHEAD KISSES but I stand by what I say.
• Oh and if he’s ever gonna to be very busy for the day and he won’t be able to take care of his kiddo, he’d ask Viva to help him take care of you!!
• Plus who doesn’t love babysitter Viva??? She’s so energetic and fun with you, but she’ll definitely tone it down for you 💛
• she’s also super strong so she’ll definitely carry you or give you a piggy back ride if you ask :>!
• She also give you lots of candies and sugary foods but shhhhh don’t tell Clay itsa secret (but I think the sugar rush/crash you have when he picks you up from Viva’s tells him more than enough
• (I feel like he would trust all his brothers with you (especially Bruce) except JD 😭😭)
• He would sooooo grab your cheeks and squeeze them like he did to Branch when first seeing him again
• Expect him to do that whenever he just wants to dote on you and baby you even if you’re feeling bigger than usual he just loves youuuu! 💚💚💚
In summary: I need this man bc he is the bestest boyfriend and caregiver ever!!
Final notes!:
I love likes but comments and reposts are greatly appreciate (I love to talk if you can’t tell) type something out and let me know what you think 💗💗
If anybody would like to use any of the hcs/scenarios for a fanfic tots fine with me just don’t forget to tag me for credit and so I can see it :DD!!
#I’m saying this even though there’s like NO ONE under the agere tag for this fandom.#Which is surprising like where are you all???? Huh?!?! Huh?!?!#Like c’mon it’s agere galore! Colors! Music! AND Family reunion and Love!!#Plus two great and amazing and lovable villains#Branch was literally abandoned as a baby! (Plus other brothers also have problems/struggles)#Just take the bait and write/do Agere stuff for them!! 😭😭(help I sound mean but I meant that in a nice way)#but I get it the fandom feels like it’s dying on here. I just got here y’all don’t die on me already 😭😭)#(Genuinely don’t think anyone wanted this but oh well I’m sending it out to the world with a mission to complete#which is bring happiness!!)#(mostly for myself tho lol)#I can’t believe I did all of this instead of a college essay#trolls agere#clay#sfw agere#trolls 3#age regression#being brave out here and using clay x reader in the post just to see what happens#if i get any hatred i’ll immediately remove it :/
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Chapter 1125 comments (including some spoilers!)
I wasn't gonna write anything about this chapter, but... but! Stussy! I can't stop thinking about it, so I might as well share. The rest under cut! I will remove the cut after the chapter stops being so new lol.
"What about Stussy?" asks some random agent.
"Killed" answered Lucci.
You might think, what happened here? Last time we heard about Stussy Kaku was letting her go! In fact, he was. But look at him here. His eyes are hidden. Remember the golden rule of One Piece? Characters whose eyes are hidden (at least in some way) are lying. Kaku lied to Lucci. He told him he killed her for her treason!
Let's go back a bit so you get where I'm coming from with this:
Kaku, clearly torn internally, told Stussy to go. He's not gonna do anything to her. Meanwhile Stussy is crying, because her friendship was just rejected, Kaku didn't do it because he hates her. It was the contrary: it was his mercy, it's a white lie. He says that just because he knows Lucci won't show her mercy if he arrives, that's why Kaku wants her to go and go away fast. He's saving her life. Let's go even further back:
Stussy wants to allow Kaku to escape.
Kaku is touched here, making very sad and torn expression. He was just shown mercy by someone he thought is an enemy, but actually learned that Stussy always considered him a friend and that's why she's sparing his life. What he does later is basically the same: he returns the favour, he spares Stussy's life back, even if he does it by lying. He does consider her his friend. But now she might never know about that.
But then, you might ask, it might have been just Lucci lying, right? It didn't have to be Kaku. Nah, it was Kaku. As much as I'm not a big fan of Lucci (but I learned to like him a bit more upon rereading), it just doesn't fit his personality. Let's look at how he behaved in other moments of Egghead arc:
Sneakily reporting to the World Government despite temporary alliance with Strawhats. That guy will not lie to spare a friend's life and Kaku is (most likely anyway) right when he assumes that, at least from what we know about Lucci. Lucci is loyal to a fault and loyal to the worst player in the game: Gorosei. He would not spare Stussy.
And here we go, his declaration and surprisingly honest answer. He can't even pretend his goal is something different, even though it would suit his purpose (temporary alliance would be in his favour!). He almost ruined their chance by blurting things out like that. So yeah, Rob Lucci? Not a great liar apparently, especially not when it comes to his job.
Kaku on the other hand can lie, he seems modest at first glance, but he can lie and he lies well, if his long nose is any indication of that. Oh, I'm so funny.
So that's my conclusion: Kaku lied to Lucci that he killed Stussy (and he lied about that to save her), while in reality he let her go.
But then where is Stussy? Many people expected her to be a stowaway on Giants or Strawhats ship, but we had a feast already and she clearly isn't there. Unless she wants to keep hiding forever (which she has no reason to, Strawhats know already she helped them and is an ally!), then the most logical conclusion is: she's not there.
The answer I have here will enter the possible spoiler territory for the future chapters, so please don't read any further if you're not alright with that. I just have to get my concerns out of my head, ok.
Remember "Nightmare of Baldimore"? It was called officially an Incident. And what was Egghead supposed to be called in the future? "Egghead Incident".
Now let me remind you of this neat fact that One Piece wiki oh so helpfully summarizes:
Two things noteworthy here: every single lab/base of Vegapunk is equipped with a self-destruct button. Punk Hazard and Baldimore are both winter islands. Coincidentally, so was Egghead, before Vegapunk did modifications to it. And it for sure also has a self-destruct button.
I had a prediction forever ago that Egghead Incident will end up being Baldimore and Punk Hazard all over again. After all third time's the charm, right? That would explain why it's called an "Incident", because all of Vegapunk's self-destructing events are called that as well.
So I guess I will get my big explosion at the very, very end of Egghead's arc, just like I wanted. I just wish it wouldn't involve Stussy self-sacrifcing herself for that.
Eh, why do I think she would do that?
she's missing in action
she just lost two of the only purposes she had to live for: Vegapunk and friends from CP0 (she betrayed the latter for Vegapunk)
she's officially now proclaimed dead, which means she has no place to return to either, because it will be announced to the world that she died
Also just look at her expressions above. The way she reacts to Edison telling her to escape on her own. Stussy is like "..." and then changes topic and asks for Kaku to be released instead so he can escape. She knew already her options are fucked.
I don't think she aims to escape. She's staying and if she's staying, there's only one thing left for her to do. Make the ultimate sacrifice so that Vegapunk's wish at least can come true. And I don't mean his ultimate dream of changing the mankind's future. I mean this wish:
"I pray the Mother Flame never gets perfected".
No worries about that if the whole island explodes and the Mother Flame gets destroyed along with it as well. I'm afraid it sadly fits Stussy's personality a bit too well. She has very low self-esteem to the point she doesn't even consider herself human, she just lost everything that was dear for her and the only people who cared for her. She already showed the signs of pure disregard for her own life. So at least she can make sure Vegapunk's last wish gets fullfilled.
I just really hope I'm wrong or at least that someone will stop her... I kinda like her, I didn't know her for long and I didn't really pay much attention to her in WCI, but I liked her in Egghead... I really like the dilemma around her and her humanity. I really digged the fandom's idea of Stussy adopting Bonney because that would give her such a positive new purpose in life. Ugh I'm not even sure if I'm ready for this heartbreak. But damn, that would finish Egghead on a high note indeed. And it would further weaken the World Government: we could get rid of Mother Flame, York (she's still on Egghead and is their only connection to Vegapunk's Records) and perhaps even Seraphims in one sweep explosion.
Of course I might still be wrong. Maybe there's nothing more to the "Egghead Incident" name. Maybe it's indeed just the Vegapunk's broadcast that shocked the world and nothing more to it. Though if you were part of the One Piece world, would you call the broadcast "Egghead Incident"? It was broadcasted to the whole world and the world wouldn't know how to connect it to the island of Egghead. It would make no sense if the incident is called by the name of the island imo. Unless something happens on said island as the result...
#one piece#stussy#one piece stussy#one piece 1125#slight spoilers#lots of spoilers in tags as well so watch out#heavy speculation about Egghead Incident#also seems Gorosei are dependant on Imu they're basically like hostages if Imu can erase them any time they want#still doesn't make me sorry for Saturn but I bet Oda will make me feel sorry for him at some point lol#we will feel sorry for all the bad guys at the end of the One Piece mark my words#(or not... do whatever you want haha)#minute of silence for brave soul Doberman#not even the most loyal people are safe in the Navy#labophase in the sky wooohoo reminds me of Waford smh#um so Revolutionary Army basically starved the slaves in Mary Geoise and the nobles are still being nobles and rather fine#not a great result there Dragon#one piece chapter commentary
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Well, this was it, then. Famous Last Stand. Plucky Dog Defends His Master. What A Good Dog. Shame there’d be no one left to tell anyone…
He barked “Mine! Mine!” and leapt snarling toward the nearest shape. A huge paw swatted him out of the air and then pinned him down, spread-eagled, in the snow. He looked up past white fangs and a long muzzle into eyes that seemed familiar…
“Hmine,” growled the wolf. It was Angua.
hi do you ever remember why you used to be so insane about a couple characters in middle/high school and fan art pops unbidden into your head
#discworld#my art#carrot ironfoundersson#angua von uberwald#those are all the tags this is going in lmao I’m not brave enough to like actually put myself out there#I’m actually really happy with how this turned out….sure wish I was good at doing art past the pencil sketch stage#maybe I’ll take some colored pencils to this eventually#between this scene and angua basically asking carrot to kill her if she ever goes feral#lost my damn mind#I feel like this book has some of the best dynamic between them bc like wow…real conflict#and also. love a possessive beast of a woman#love the like. only you are allowed to kill me#idk im normal
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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WIP DAY
i was tagged by @moonmothers @devilbrakers @flymmcargo @nuclearstorms + @hibernationsuit thank you guys so much!! <3
tagging: @morvaris @faarkas @shadowglens @voerman @faerune @ladyshar @liurnia @halsin @gortash @risingsh0t @necroticpetals @druidgroves @malefiicarum @feypacts @florbelles @calenhads @thedeadthree and anyone else i missed! can't remember exactly who writes or not so if you see this just say i tagged you
disclosing my violante/ruven/gortash (pre-game events) agenda,,even if it's mainly vio here but if i added any more of the wip in here you guys would kill me bc it's already so long. anyways who doesn't like masked balls?
“Dare I ask who I'm in the presence of?” The gems nestled in the fine silver net adorning her hair made a gentle tinkling sound as Violante tilted her head forward in a courteous bow tasked to open the dance. When she rose to meet her partner’s gaze once more, she resumed: “And most of all, is it friend or is it foe?”
Even beneath the mask, the wicked shine of Enver’s dark eyes appeared brighter than the play of light on the golden wings that stretched from the front of the mask to his hair. “Vicare, the only human man that could fly.”
Vicare – Violante wished to laugh. Was his arrogance the cause of her amusement? Or perhaps it was his full, unabashed, commitment to that little theatrical play they were staging? Whichever the reason, she found that trying to conceal her smile around him was beginning to verge on the impossible. Disgraceful…but thrilling, she couldn’t wait to let Ruven hear of it.
The music carried their voices along the notes like they were part of the sheets; it was a concerto of violins, lutes and harps. Violante could hear the distinct sound of a few wind instruments as well but failed to recognize them. The melody was slow and soothing, inviting the dancers to know one another, play their coy games before dealing their full hand when the culmination of the song would strike.
They stood shoulder to shoulder, barely letting the fabrics of their clothes brush one another as they drew a circle on the floor with their steps: a dance that resembled more the stalk of two wolves ready to attack, reach for the throat and sink sharp teeth in the flesh and let fate settle who was going to bleed out first and declare the other victorious.
“The name holds a familiar sound.” She spoke calmly, voice just above a whisper but carrying confidence, pride. A pride soon betrayed; a quick glance stolen with the tail of her eye to the dark haired man, searching for any hint on his half covered face that would reveal his thoughts to her. She hoped for the stars, yet she was no astronomer at all. Whatever Enver Gortash was thinking, from amusement to annoyance, remained a well guarded secret. “I’d like to hear the tale of the man of the golden feathers, if he’s willing to share.”
The violins played a grave note and as if spells were casted, each performing pair jumped into position – facing each other, one arm up as the back of their hands brushed the one of their partner in a gentle kiss of the knuckles. His hand to her waist, her touch above his shoulder. "Do I have to tell? I'm sure you know well how the story goes. The one that dreamt of flying too high in the sky – accused of free will, punished with the amputation of his wings.” He leaned forward, a cunning smile curling his lips upwards charmingly. “They used shears, if I remember correctly, to make me never wish to fly again. Quite the gruesome spectacle it was.”
Enver’s back was straight, tense as the string of a bow ready to let its arrow strike the prey, yet the movement of his steps was nothing but light and elegant as they spun in unison with the other dancers like a gentle breeze barely caressing the marble under his feet. He was a great dancer, Violante couldn’t deny it.
“Yet you persist, don’t you? Behind those walls you still look up for the cobalt sky.” A swirl, restrained in perfect graciousness learned in years of training with a certain drow, the rich crimson fabric of her gown twisting around her body like a tail. “Which amount of punishment is enough to make you learn, I wonder.”
His eyes narrowed yet that wicked grin didn't falter. “Flying is a thought, and nothing can stop an idea. The wind reached me even when my feet were bound to the ground." They waltzed into an outside spin and moved into the next step with a final touch of the wrist, pulse against pulse. “Besides – I can take a fair amount of penance, if rewarding.” His fingers twitched against hers, nothing more than a controlled and quick brush tauntingly demure, yet just enough to make Violante wonder, take the hint of that touch and let her mind carry it on as it pleased. The power of a thought, wasn’t it?
Enver appeared no less pleased, be it the quick flash of her surprised expression or the sudden rigidity of her muscles. “Now that I’ve answered your question, allow one for myself: who are you in turn?”
Violins stood out from the choir of instruments with a strident sound this time, separating the couples as if the touch of one another was akin to reaching for a flame with naked skin. Violante arms rose up in a fluid movement, like the fluttering of a bird’s wings or the stroke of a brush, while Enver’s form bended in a half-bow, one arm behind his back and the other circling his waist.
“Death.” She expressed sharply, excited as if her time in this play had finally come. “And if I recall correctly, even Vicare couldn’t escape Death.”
#tag games#i haven't done a wip day in ages and i'm a bit nervous rn and it's not very good but i'm being brave <3#i have like 3 fics with gortash in it and two of them have a dancing scene..i like the implications of it all plus it's exercise to try and#get better at them!! anyways gortash is icarus coded to me (vicare=icarus in etruscan culture. i didn't want to use plain icarus name#or lore but add a bit of whimsy to it) and ALSO why writing 'enver' feels so personal? like he's not my friend he's an entity that lives#in my brain and that's it. it's lord gortash to u. ok i'm rambling now i'll shut up#oc: violante#it's italics and me against the world in here btw
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i always think i'm normal. and then BOOM. mini series eddie
#mhac.txt#it (1990)#he is STILL one of those characters that fills me with overwhelming feeling.#including the overwhelming urge to bite him and shake him around.#i think it's because he's so cute physically and in personality. but i don't mean that in an infantalizing way.#especially because there's so much more nuance to him. like. the amount of times he's trying to be brave and stand on his feet#despite being scared or cowardly and vulnerable. a vulnerability particularly fed AND taken advantage of by the manipulation of his mom.#which if you cross compare that against bev and her dad it's. explosions.#i think also there's a sort of Softness in dennis christopher as 1990 era eddie. because he's just a soft cutie guy.#but also the way that eddie himself is kind. still easy to frighten and not always willing to take the reigns. but can be pushed to#and is compassionate with the guys of his company and all. still has a particular compassion for the losers as well. even richie.#which is. its own can of worms. as much as i love the idea of them i won't try to find and implant queer subtext where there might be none.#but. pennywise calling young eddie girlboy. and also the way in which both eddie actors. they deal out teases and agitation with richie.#that's inevitable when it comes to richie. but there's. TO ME. more of a fondness for him by these actors than the hard line irritation#in 2017/2019. which i'm not faulting jack dylan grazer or james ransone for. especially not when it's just part of the stylistic choices.#but. miniseries eddie holds so much more power to me than 2017/2019 eddie.#i didn't mean to write a whole essay in the tags but here we are
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actually now that the clique thing is a few days old, i didn't really get involved for a reason and I don't feel super strongly in either direction
but I will say that like. while there's certainly a problem of less interaction on the fanworks/posts from less popular blogs, this isn't really a byler exclusive issue? this happens in most fandoms these days, interaction is just on a decline in general which IS. a problem but not really a "byler tumblr is cliquey" problem. in regards to any actual cliques I wouldn't say they don't exist but I don't think it's "the popular kids" themselves doing this. I don't know if the rest of you have some other bloggers in mind that I don't know about, but as someone who is mutuals with a fair amount of who I thought were the popular blogs, they are always very nice and welcoming to me, and actually easy to talk to once you just. see them and talk to them as a normal human and not an omnipotent fandom god. so this is all to say that if there's a clique issue I think it's from the outside. I think maybe people are perceiving these bigger blogs who all happen to be friends as these untouchable idols in fandom and it's. making it cliquey from the outside. like are they a clique or have you just convinced yourself they wouldn't want anything to do with you and isolated this group from everyone else. this isn't to say that people can't be assholes of course just that I don't think any of this is intentional
#I think a lot of post interaction problems are also just probably coming from the fact that I don't think anyone checks the tag anymore#I certainly don't. I just keep up with what my mutuals are posting#and my mutuals are posting their work and they're sharing their friend's work or the work their friend shared from someone else#so if you're a little known blogger it can just be harder because. your posts just aren't making it as far you have a few followers#and they have even fewer. and so unless you get an anomaly popularity boost it'll be harder for a post to get traction#also “it's a clique bc all the popular blogs are friends and only associate with each other” well they have been friends for months#or a year now. and also probably were not as popular when that friendship started#so it's more like. a friend group forms and then when one of you gets a popularity boost so do the others bc you're friends#and then next thing you know it's a friend group of popular bloggers#anyway. all this to say get out and make some friends! either I'm right and this will actually fix the problem#or there really is a clique in which case why tf would you want to associate with them anyway#but genuinely this is rich coming from me actually known to most as godawful at talking to people irl#but it's really so simple to make tumblr friends it just requires you to be a little brave and genuine#if you see someone posting a lot of cool stuff follow them!! and then get in their askbox and talk to them about something#if they have an au you really like talk to them about that if they have some music they've been posting about check it out#and tell them what you thought!#just like. be friendly and open they'll probably respond in kind and next thing you know you have a really cool friend#anyway if you're one of my mutuals and you saw me like a post the other day or whatever that might feel contrary to this#well the other day I was just watching things go down lmao#I didn't care what any posts said I was busy with my own discourse lol#(and also if you're ANOTHER mutual wondering wtf this post is about don't worry about that)#idk I think I just. haven't really witnessed cliquey behavior but I see posts about this with enough notes#that sometimes I think. well you guys gotta be experiencing SOMETHING so idk. idk#I guess this is another “some people just have friends” post#anyway I think a good thing to remember here also is that we're arguing about popularity on Tumblr Dot Com. brother we are bloggers#and we're calling it cliques. like a highschool movie
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the mortifying ordeal of today being a potluck day.
#purrs#delete later#it’s been 3.5 years since i last was at one and somehow it’s exactly as miserable as it was before if not worse. also why am i being fucking#guilt tripped into doing this and participating in it. im fucking 24 years old. i should get to choose how to spend my time. i should not be#a prop to make my mom look good for running the perfect vegan family. like it sounds like a cartoon but i don’t fucking care about being#vegan and i never did. i just got scared into it and i fucking resent being a prop put on display and unable to do what i want because i#have all this shit in my head about what’s healthy and what’s not and what will make my mom and her community ashamed of me. i fucking hate#these potlucks i hate having to be fake nice to the people who go to them who are so annoying and revolting and i hate being fucking TWENTY#FOUR and forced into doing things i don’t want to do because im afraid of my mom and afraid of myself. my weekends are precious. my choices#are precious. i am not a child anymore. i do not exist to make her look good or feel better about herself. my thoughts and choices are my#own and i own them. i do not want to have anything to do with this and i never did. people are going to get all in my face and im going to h#have to act like a kid again and make myself small and it’s so EMBARRASSING i am an adult!!!!!! im a late bloomer but im an adult. and i get#to choose my life and i get to rebel if i want to. but im not brave enough and we have to go in an hour 30. fucking hellllll#like the fact that my family hosts these. and it’s seen as a FAMILY thing when it’s just my mom. 💀💀💀💀 like please let me have my own life a#and interests and spend my time the way i want to. lol#food#ask to tag
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thinking about connor not deviating until he’s responsible for hanks death… doing everything right, killing the tracis and chloe and markus. and then killing hank. and feeling so goddamn guilty about it, feeling so sad about it that he finally deviates.
#sry not sry i will never shut up about them#i just love the idea of connor being the perfect machine except for when it comes to hank#cyberlife’s perfect little soldier gets all messed up by an old suicidal alcoholic#idk it feels almost poetic#i’m gonna be brave and put this in the actual tag 😬#hankcon
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@polarean // continued.
Fuck. Well that just slips in right under the armor, doesn’t it? Insidiously gentle. The moment of silence is just enough for his temper to even out before he feels his hand entwining with Philoctetes’ (without need of his mind to prompt it) and hears those words that push softly, ‘just one more word, one more thing.’ And he barely has time to cringe back toward his defenses when the reassurance comes. ‘I wasn’t rejecting you. ... It doesn’t mean I want you, or love you, any less.’ Gods, it’s all so SAPPY! ... So why does it make him release some breath his didn’t know he was holding? Why does it make him want to squirm, want to sink into Philoctetes and his stupid, corny little assurances?
He can feel the color rising in his cheeks.
FUCK, really!
It’s embarrassing how badly he suddenly knows he needed to hear that. He remembers now that Philoctetes understands, even when Pyrrhus doesn’t want to be understood — even when he doesn’t understand himself. He wants to say... He wants to tell him... gods, something, but the something doesn’t take the shape of words. It takes the shape of want, warm in his skin, a craving to be held, kissed all over. He wants that mouth to press those words all over every inch of him and still the wounded pride that just can’t settle. He gets more than his looks from his father, after all.
He squeezes Philoctetes’ hand, and brings it still locked with his own to his lips, kissing the knuckles, and mumbling against them like an I love you, “I’m gonna fuck you so good you don’t even remember that stupid fucking word. No more ‘doctor,’ old man.” He lets his legs spread and a knee nudges Philoctetes. But he doesn’t jump on the lewd suggestion right away, even if his unresolved recreational endeavor of an hour ago has left him still more wound up than Philoctetes has any way of knowing, and commits internally to giving his boyfriend at least a good five minutes before Pyrrhus starts to paw at him. And then, as if the other words made it easier to finally, really, dislodge it from his throat: “I love you.”
#woke up with pyrrhus brain so here have this <3#the torture of having to move all our ancient threads to the new editor... UGH#anyway pyrrhus is not immune to reassurances of love. in fact he may even be vulnerable to them!#very smart and sexy of philoctetes to pick up that 'you rejected me' and target that point of strife#pyrrhus: i'm angry and stern and impenetrable i WON'T be soppy and talk like an adult about my feelings#philoctetes: i'm not rejecting you and i don't love you any less#pyrrhus: 🥺🥺🥺 oh.......#also lol at ur tag like 'give him an hour + some dinner' & pyrrhus thinking 'i will bravely wait 5 MIN before trying to get in his pants'#polarean#(pyrrhus) v; our country
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