#feeling a bit sleep deprived

[your-ne1ghbor]

It was 1 am-2 am when I decided: OOOO I should mess with Star's design again... so tell me... Why did it work???

also another long post from the sleep deprived fish lets goo

The cape is ugly af, but the rest of the deign is actually...GOOD??? I am in shock since this rarely happens when I actually like how the colors came out on any character-

UNFORTUNATLY, the cape is what ruins it due to how BLAND it is. Not only that, but it is VERY important to how I design his cape. Like basically:

Yes, that is how important his cape is! I wanna talk about what his cape means in another post where I talk about the Star Realm, but for now, I got this ugly ahh cape.

Not only that, the rims with the colors being gold is actually wrong with how I wanted to make his color pallet. The gold rims (ON HIS CAPE NOT THE REST OF THE OUTFIT) are supposed to be a light blue to signifiy a lake. HOWEVER, I tried to see what it would look like, especially here and in my other post here, where it just does not work with his design. Sure, the light blue is nice, but doesn't fit no matter how hard I try to make it look nice. The gold rims work way too well to where the only light blue where it would work, would only be seen on the back of his cape...WHICH IS UGLYYYYYYYYY

Perhaps I go with either a different cape? Change up the color pallet? Or try to make it work with the lore of the Star Realm? (Yeah I'm being serious, thats how important his cape is and how I represent it. If it doesn't look good or work, then idk... I really wanted to incorprate the star realm onto his cape. I might have to come up with a symbol of the star realm if this doesn't work)

The front however, is actually okay, which is basically the little circle with the ribbon draping over his cape. It is just as important as the rest of the design of his cape, ESPECIALY with those 2 pieces in particular. I dont have a problem with it, since it is what I wanted it to look like in the first place and works well with the design either way.

I don't want to continue empathizing on how important it is to how I represent his cape, but it is overall significant to his design. So I'll talk about the bottom of his design since it is actually where I had trouble with before.

To be specific, it is how I wanted his top to look like. Either I wanted a closed off semi-skirt like what the original or what @signed-sapphire and @chillwildwave did with their star boy's design, or go with a more open skirt like what @oh-shtars and @spectator-zee with theirs. It ofc ended up being more open, just it being shorter. I was unironically inspired by Eugene's outfit lmao but the rest came by easy. I knew I wanted his shoes to be almost up to his knees cause he needs to be FANCYYYYY. I also changed up his sleeves and made it more flowy cause I wanted more fun with his design and works with his character :D

Speaking of character, this somewhat works with his character. SOMEWHAT. He is pretty a optimistic kind of prankster, but I feel like his bright personality is toned down to how dark the outfit came out. I know it is to represent the stars since...you know..he is one, just that (quote from one of my bsfs (TY FOR YOUR INSIGHT BTW)) "the outside is more dark whilst the inside has lighter colors, it makes it look like a glowing star trying to hide, a bit".

I mean, makes sense to why he needs to hide: Maggy wants to make sure he is fucking dead- JOKES ASIDE, it works with context, but he doesn't nessicairly like hiding stuff, like he is pretty open about his feelings for example, but like I said, it also works since he has to hide from the people of Rosas and her parents or else he's seen as the monster (rawr rawr rawr) in their eyes 💀

That aside, you probably notice I changed up his hair. Why? Because I wanted to try something and make it have more depth. It works, so it stays for now.

Is this the final design for him? No. Its not. Until I get the cape right, I still have to get his design working. At least it is working with how I am envisioning it, minus the few little details that make me annoyed for no particular reason other than it needing to work with his character and world.

My next post is going to be an update to the Maggy silly lil backstory cause...it is REALLY important to the story 😭😭

Until then, GOOD DAY/AFTERNOON/NIGHT

[hinamie]

mentor

[lost7101]

(crosspost) for my little phoenixja au

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[camille-lachenille]

I was thinking about Indis, which doesn’t happen very often, and decided she needed a craft of some sort after the Darkening bc her retiring in Valmar and mourning for the rest of eternity isn’t convincing me, thanks but no Professor Tolkien.

So what? Indis goes to Estë and learns the arts of Healing, because she has seen enough hurt and pain in her life and she wants to be able to do *something* even if it’s too late for her family. She becomes a pretty damn good healer and, when Eärendil manages to convinces the Valar to send an army to Beleriand, Indis joins the army as a battlefield healer. Her last son is going to war, she won’t sit back and turn her thumbs while he’s in danger.

What she sees in Beleriand is terrible and painful but, behind the grim reality of war, she sees what her children and grandchildren loved so much in Beleriand, and she remembers her youth under the stars.

Indis learns other healing methods from the Exiled healers, the Edain, anyone who is willing to exchange knowledge with her. She also meets a young healer named Elrond, who specialised in (more like invented) mind-healing, and Indis greedily learns everything he cam teach her, because healing the mind and soul is what her family would have needed.

The day Finarfin is grievously wounded, Indis is glad to have come, and she works restlessly along the other healers to save her son. Finarfin looses sight in one eye but lives, and it all she could ask for.

The war comes to an end and Indis returns to Valinor, weary but also feeling more like herself than in ages. Tirion is doing well under the regency of Findis, and Finarfin is able to recover peacefully.

Indis is there when Finrod is re-embodied and she helps him recover from the mental scars he still has. But this is not enough for her, not now that a lot of the Exiles have returned and most of the soldiers from Valinor are still scarred in many ways by the War of Wrath.

So Indis starts giving lectures on mind-healing in Tirion and Valmar’s universities, and teach any who is willing to learn. She has help from a few mind-healers who were taught by Elrond and sailed back West, and soon mind-healing is a fully recognised field of medicine.

Ages pass, people are re-embodied and others Sail, and Indis is happy to see they receive all the support they need. She retires, at some point, to spend time with her newly returned children and grand-children, and she finally takes the time to process her own grief she tried to forget for a long time.

And one day, Elrond sails to Valinor, and he asks an audience with the dowager queen Indis. Indis is surprised but accepts. The first thing Elrond does when he enters the room is to bow in front of her and thank Indis for everything she did here in Valinor. “Your teachings saved my wife, when she came here nearly fading,” he explains. “I wasn’t able to help her, but she told me everything about the support network she found here. And thank you for helping my parents, too.”

Indis can only hug Elrond closely, this great-great-great-great grandchild of her she never saw growing up. “I could have never done it without you, child, I must thank you, for your teachings healed my own family.”

And that is how Indis, former queen of the Noldor, and Elrond, heir to half a dozen titles but lord only of his own garden, became fast friends and a frankly terrifying duo when it came to talk some sense into someone.

[tennessoui]

emerging from a fugue state just in time for wip wednesday

Vokara Che sits down across the desk from him with a pinched expression on her face. “I was under the impression that Master Kenobi called for this appointment, Master Skywalker.”

He did. Or, more precisely, his healing portal account did. Which Anakin accessed and then used to type out a missive in his master’s voice requesting to meet as soon as possible.

“Right, well,” Anakin says, shifting in his seat. “Something came up.”

Che does not look impressed. “Be that as it may,” she says delicately, “I am unable to discuss a patient’s medical history with a third party if the third party is neither present at the time nor has given me direct permission to do so.”

Anakin stares, feeling the first flickerings of real, dangerous fury well up in his gut. “But,” he says carefully. “He’s still sick. He, uh. Told me about it. And then we found a solution. To the problem.”

“The problem,” Che repeats, tilting her head and looking at Anakin as if she’s intent on studying him. 

“The hanahaki,” he spits. It’s a disgusting word. It’s one of the worst words he’s ever learned, and he can’t believe she’s making him say it. He can’t believe she’s being so—so cold when he’s telling her that Obi-Wan is still ill, that Obi-Wan is still dying, that Obi-Wan needs to be here to see her and he’s not. “Look,” he adds, leaning forward in his chair, “a few months ago a series of files were uploaded accidentally to my healing portal, but they were notes from one of Obi-Wan’s appointments. They were your notes from Obi-Wan’s visit. I know you know I know.”

Vokara Che looks at him and then looks down at the datapaad in front of her, lips thinned and lekku twitching. “I must apologize then,” she says, swiping through the files in front of her until she finds something that she lingers on. Her fingers dance across the screen of the datapaad, then it goes dark. “For the breach in ethicacy that you and Master Kenobi both experienced because of the Halls of Healing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Master Skywalker. All files that were incorrectly uploaded have been deleted from your healing portal.”

Anakin looks at her and bites his cheek hard enough to bleed so that he doesn’t start screaming instead.

[mushroominaforest]

Grief kinda sucks. I think people should just like, not die.

[bruhstation]

of fucking course the best, most harrowing, most gut-wrenching tugs character only appeared in one episode (a bit of ramble in the tags)

[fictionadventurer]

The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.

[capricioussun]

I was really thinking about if I would ever be comfortable merging my art accounts and I don't think I will. At least not unless I did a full rebrand which I'd really rather not since I'm very happy with how things are situated now.

But I think it boils down to acceptance seeking. I've been socially isolated for a very long time and it's difficult. Even back when I first started drawing au stuff years ago, I contemplated making a separate blog for it because I knew how many ut fans didn't really like the aus. I didn't want to alienate any of the "audience" I'd already built but I also knew there would be a turning point I would just wind up barely posting on one account or the other and it would feel like trying to limp half the time on one leg and then limp the rest on the other, which would be pointless.

But with mirrorshipping (selfcest) being a much more universally contentious topic, I got worried it would only deter people even more. I certainly didn't want to lie about it, especially bc I don't associate it with prshipping the way some others do, so it's not really that im "ashamed" of it, or want to hide it, just that I know it's the kind of thing that's very likely to make some who just walked in turn right back around.

To some degree, as someone who hopes to one day make a career out of being an independent artist, it makes sense to prioritize "growth" over personal satisfaction, but on the other, I've always struggled to care about that sort of thing. Any time I've cared about "alienating" a potential "audience", it's always been more about personal acceptance. I don't want people to see one little aspect of myself or interests and judge me entirely based off of that, even though that's all anyone really can do on the internet. I don't take blocking personally, despite how the prior sentiment seems to contradict that, I get it, I block all the time too, for a variety of reasons. But if there's a chance there're others who don't really mind that I mirrorship, they just don't want to see it or have to block the tag, I don't want them to feel turned away or annoyed, and so I kept it all to a separate account.

There are a few other reasons I won't really get into, too, like how people often do associate it with prship, and how I don't really want to draw that type of a crowd to my main blog, either, but I know in my heart it's the acceptance/approval seeking that was the biggest motivator.

I really honestly wish I knew how to connect with others beyond just trying to "do things right" and hoping that earns me positive attention. I really wish I didn't always feel like my only chance at affection is to improve what I can offer in return.

[moonstruckhaze]

boyfriend shirt...

update: if you like this art, please go check out this fic that @chessala wrote for it ╥⁠﹏⁠╥

update cont: this is the first time someone's ever written something for art that I've made, and I'm still so happy and touched beyond words that she wrote this. she was even kind enough to share the initial draft with me and asked for feedback and even worked in little suggestions i had for expanding on different parts of the writing, which was so fun and collaborative and I haven't gotten to do something like that in ages. I'm so overwhelmed (in a good way) and it feels like getting to beam the full mental vision of the scenario i had in my brain while working on this piece into the mind of anyone who reads it; ;

i know these close up crops are a bit silly but well. i did my best lol... the full version is up on my alt twitter linked in my pinned post ♡

please also observe the little 🐰 logo.... it is silly & crucial....

[betonbennett]

...I'm sorry. I miss you.

I—I'm sorry, I shouldn't be sending you this, I—I don't deserve to bother you, not after I hurt you like that.

Yours, as ever,

Jonah

If you are truly so sorry and so sad and miss me so terribly, then perhaps you could consider allowing me some respite in sleep, at least.

[sensitiveheartless]

i love the difference in how you draw flustered soukoku, like chuuya always looks so pretty whereas dazai just looks like A Creature, as he should

Since I am still stuck mostly bedridden and coughing and sniffling up a storm, I went down a rabbithole of looking back at my drawings of them and…yeah you're 100% right anon, this is a noticeable pattern all the way back to the beginning XD

Flustered Dazai:

Flustered Chuuya:

I feel like this is slightly indicative of my view of their characters in general lol—I could never pick a favorite between them because I just enjoy them in very different ways, but when I was first getting into BSD I looked at Dazai and instantly went "okay yup, he's a stinky bastard man, got it" whereas with Chuuya I have been rotating him in my head for more than a year to try to figure him out and also just to appreciate him aksdjfksdfjksdfj (and reading Storm bringer made the speed of rotation become that of an overpowered spinning teacup ride)

...Although that said, Chuuya does get the gremlin treatment whenever I draw him angry XD

[bleaksqueak]

Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!

[tetzoro]

happy tuesday friendz & gooood morning ! i was up all night plucking little stars from the night sky to place on everyone’s head for good luck today ✩ — ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ! i hope today is magical is for you all <3

[paperglader]

my drafts are filled with imodna screaming-crying-throwing-up inducing thoughts from these last few weeks that i never ended up posting and now idk what to do with it all😂