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#feel like it used to be more common to keep shit like this out of the main tags
trippinsorrows · 11 hours
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through your eyes + au 3
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authors note: well. this got freaky. some smut ahead, folks. this really is starting to feel like a completely different story, low key.
part one // part two // au solana instagram
warnings: smut
taglist: @sayyestoheav3nn @fearlesschimera @cyberdejos2 @annfg8 @trentybenty @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @zoeyybellex3
word count: 4.3k
"I need to talk to you."
Solana should have been talked to someone about this.
But, she's felt torn.
Torn on just who she can talk to about it.
And lack of options hasn't been the issue.
If anything, there's a copious amount of resources and trusted confidants she could go to. Courtesy of her large family, host of cousins, and other good friends.
It's actually easier to start with who would absolutely be the worst person to go to.
And her mom, interestingly enough, is that person. Ironic given how close she is to her madre. One of her best friends, in many ways.
But, not for this. Because Nina will go to Xavier, Solana's dad, and somehow Wes, Solana's brother, will get involved, and it'll just be a whole mess.
Beyond that, there's her cousins. Jade and Anriel will scold the living shit out of her and probably confide in their mom, Solana's aunt Sharmell, out of concern. Aunt Sharmell will go to her husband, Booker, who won't hesitate to literally fly out to Miami just to tell his brother, Xavier, Solana's dad. Thus, the whole damn family knowing.
Then there's her cousin, Roxanne. Roxanne would be great if not for her inability to hold water. And Solana definitely doesn't need her mom's side of the family knowing. They'll kidnap her and force her to live in Mexico for the rest of her life, believing she's gone mad.
Might not be too far off though.
Rhea will just kick her ass for being so 'fawkin stoopid'. Jaida will encourage it, because Jaida encourages all things questionable. But Kayden....Kayden could be the one.
She's also bound to not respond well, but still, someone Solana knows will ultimately keep this between the two of them.
Kayden Carter looks over at Solana with intrigue. With over 15 years of friendship, she knows when her roommate and best friend is truly in a dilemma, that nervous, panicked voice she typically uses present already. This is definitely one of those times.
"Okay." Kayden motions for Solana to sit down on the other end of the sofa, waiting until she does so to ask, "what's going on?"
Solana takes a deep breath, both hating and needing to share this. "You know the event I attended with my family this weekend?" Kayden nods. "I—I met someone there."
At that, Kayden lifts a pierced brow. "Oh?"
Solana looks away, explaining, "I was trying to get away from Ethan and ran into this man by accident, and he ended up helping me out. Pretending to be my date or whatever. It got Ethan to leave me alone, so that was good."
"Forget about Page's annoying ass, what about the man? Is he attractive?"
Solana scoffs. "Very." She's not quite sure how to describe just how fine Roman Reigns is. "But—"
Kayden's expression sours. "He's an asshole, isn't he?"
"Notorious." Though Solana does her best to stay tucked away in her little corner of the world within that's away from the mafia life, she's not stupid nor entirely disconnected. It's common knowledge that Roman is a dick.
And yet....
"But, he was nice to me. He's been nice to me." Kayden's expression shifts into confusion, Solana clarifying, "he—he came to my job this morning."
"Holy shit, he's serious about this." Kayden scoffs and smiles, clearly intrigued by the mystery of it all. "Wait, who is this guy, Sola?"
And now, here comes the part that Solana has been dreading since decided she would confide in Kayden. "It's....it's Roman."
Kayden blinks, not catching on. "Roman who?" And it's just one 'you know' look from Solana that has her eyes widening. "No." Solana closes her eyes. "Please tell me you're kidding." More silence provides the answer she's certain her roommate didn't and doesn't want to hear. "Roman fuckin' Reigns? Solana, have you lost your mind? Do you know who he is?"
Solana leans back into the sofa, murmuring, "of course."
"No, you must not, because this man is the devil himself. He's a monster, Solana. If you heard half the things he's done, you'd be running the opposite way. You'd be on the other side of the goddamn world to get away from him." Kayden continues to freak out, lecturing and chiding Solana for what she clearly feels is a bad call. "I just-I don't understand. Solana, you've always been so against our world. You've essentially lived in seclusion just because you don't want to be a part of it, and now you're entertaining the literal embodiment of said world?"
Solana runs her hands over her face. "It's not—it's not like that."
"Then tell me what it's like, because maybe I'm just confused, but I'm pretty sure you're telling me that you're talking to Roman Reigns?"
That's exactly what she is, but Solana is lost on just how to express that despite everything that's been said about this man, in the two interactions she's had with him, he's been nothing but kind. In his own way, of course.
"He....he hasn't been that way with me," she finds herself defending while also recognizing that it truly is a weak defense. "He's been....nice. He helped me out with Ethan. He came to see me at my job just to ask me out--"
"Wait, he already asked you out?" Kayden looks like she's about to spazz out even more. She shakes her head, taking a second to calm down. "Solana, you're my best friend, and I love you, but he's probably just trying to fuck you. You're gorgeous with a great body, and he obviously sees how innocent you are. It's just a chase."
It makes sense, and Roman more or less confirmed as such with his comment about wanting her with no clothes on. That should be enough evidence for her to find a way to ward off his advances.
But.....
There's this part of her that's absolutely intrigued by him, as he so smugly pointed out. A part of her that wouldn't mind to get to know him more. Even if it makes no damn sense to her.
"I can take care of myself." It doesn't come out as confident and assured as she would like it to be, nor is she entirely certain of her assertion herself, but it's expressed regardless. "I—I can handle this."
Kayden looks just as unsure as Solana feels. "Your family doesn't know, do they?"
"No." Her eyes widen a bit. "No one does, except you now. So please, please don't say anything to anyone." Solana needs to at least figure out just what's going on before she has to face the inevitable backlash from her family and others.
Kayden shakes her head. "You know I got you, girl. Even though I do think you're fuckin' crazy, you've always supported me in my fucked up relationships, so I'll do the same with you." Kayden suddenly gives her that teasing expression, poking her arm. "Besides, it's not like he's ugly, am I right?"
So right.
"I get so nervous around him," Solana whines, laying her head back against the sofa. "He's just so....he comes on so strong."
Kayden smirks, leaning over and playfully nudging. "He wants him some Sola, girl." She laughs as Solana covers her blushing face. "Who could blame him? You're gorgeous, babe."
It's such weird experience. Solana is still trying to heal and learn to love herself again after calling off her engagement, so a man like Roman Reigns coming into her life out of nowhere and being so intent on just....her....it's a lot to digest. Because taking away all of the things about him that make him dangerous and avoidant worthy, he's still, hands down, the most handsome man she's ever seen.
"So where are ya'll going?"
Solana bites down on her bottom lip. "He invited me to WarGames. Said he'll send a car for me."
There's obvious surprise on the face of her best friend. "First date is watching him beat the shit out of other men?" Kayden says aloud, nodding and shrugging. "It tracks." Solana rolls her eyes. "Well, what are you gonna wear?"
She shrugs, truly unsure when she remembers what he said. "Something....something red." Kayden is curious, as Solana shares a version of what Roman said. "He....he asked me to wear red."
Told. He told her to wear red, but Kayden doesn't need to know that part.
Smirking, Kayden nods, impressed almost. "Damn. He already wants you wearing Bloodline colors? First lady type shit." Solana grabs a pillow and throws it Kayden's way, her friend laughing and then gasping. "Holy shit, you have to wear that red dress I got you last year for your birthday!"
The mention of that little piece Solana swore would never see beyond the back of her closet has her eyes widening. "Kayden, no, I can't. That's way too revealing."
"That's the point, duh." Kayden tosses the pillow back and stands up off the sofa, pulling Solana up with her. She then looks over at Dulce who's been sleeping peacefully as her mama stumbles into one of the most questionable decision of her life. "Come on, Dulce. We gotta get mama ready to get dicked down."
"Kayden!"
--------
Solana is a nervous wreck.
She hasn't been this anxiety ridden since taking her NCLEX-RN, and that was a damn near traumatic experience.
This is literally just a date.
Kind of.
Cause she's never actually been on a date before where the man will be preoccupied the whole night.
But, she's also never been on a date with someone like Roman before either. It's just all around a brand new experience that has her so in her head. She's in it during the car ride and especially when she arrives at the Warehouse and is escorted to Roman's locker room.
She nearly has a heart attack when the door is opened and she expects to see him waiting, but it's postponed, God looking out for her, when she sees he's absent.
The security leave her alone without any guidance or clue as to just what she's supposed to do, so Solana takes that time to text Kayden and let her know she's arrived and that she's safe.
For now.
Not wanting to focus too much on the unknown of it all, she takes in his locker room which is much nicer than what's probably necessary. Craft table. Weights section. Sofa. Flat screen TV. A trainers table. The works, essentially.
It makes sense when she thinks about it.
Roman seems like a man who only accepts the finer things in life, if not the finest.
But, it's the section on the craft table with a bottle of wine that keeps snatching her attention.
Drinking is probably the last thing she needs to be doing, but that's exactly what she does.
She quickly grabs the bottle and and a wine glass, filling it up halfway before downing almost all of it. It's the perfect combination of sweet and bitter and hopefully helpful in taking some of this edge off.
"You sure don't disappoint, do you?"
It's a pure stroke of luck that she doesn't drop the glass in her hand at the rumble of his deep voice behind her. But, it's truly a miracle that both the glass and herself don't fall to the ground when she turns around to look at him.
Mio dios.
Roman is standing by the door, his hair down and clearly wet, water droplets sliding down his bare chest, Solana unable to take her eyes off his bulging muscles and the intricate tribal tattoos that somehow add to the magnanimity and beauty of this man. He's wearing black cargo pants tucked into black boots, with the sacred, red ula fala resting around his majestic neck.
Roman Reigns in a suit is one thing.
But Roman Reigns shirtless is something entirely different.
She's almost certain the ground underneath her shakes a bit, also deeply impacted by the god among mere mortal men.
If not for Roman initiating something beyond her embarrassing gawking. she would continue to stare. For a long time. A very long time.
He walks toward her, every step bringing her closer and closer to melting into the ground. This man is a giant. In every sense of the word.
But, it's when he takes his finger under her chin, lifting her head a little and has the audacity to say, "you can do more than just look, if you want" that Solana just about spontaneous combusts on the spot.
He's maybe said a total of 8 to 10 sentences to her in the entire time they've 'known' each other, yet even in the midst of that brevity, he still gives her more of a visceral, bodily reaction than her ex ever did.
"I—" Words are a thing of the past, something she was once capable of but not anymore. The sight of God himself has a tendency to rob anyone of the right to verbalization.
Roman chuckles, his other hand moving to her hip. "You listened."
Solana is certain it's her that's trembling and not the room around her. It takes her a minute to process he's referring to her dress. "You—you said wear red, didn't you?."
"I did." He acknowledges, once again giving her a one over as he bites on his bottom lip. "Good girl."
Oh, fuck.
Solana has to get the hell out of here. The room is freaking in shambles at this point.
Or, maybe that's just her.
She's a stuttering mess trying to communicate with this man. "I—you—probably have to get r—ready."
Roman smiles, and her entire world flutters. "Do I not look ready to you?"
Hardly. This man probably doesn't even know what it's like to be unready. Never experienced that. That's a mortal thing.
"No—I just.....S—sorry."
Similar to their last two interactions, Roman brings his hand to her back and tugs her into him. Solana, once again, places one hand on his chest, not even thinking about the fact that the water from his hair continues to dampen his body.
Until water hits her palm.
Solana is on fire. In all areas. She stammers out, feeling stupid as all the outdoors for stating the obvious. "You're wet...."
His gaze flicks to the space between her legs. "I'd bet you are too."
What the hell?
How is he so.....raw?
She absolutely refuses to move an inch, refuses to cause any kind of movement with her legs that could alert her to the fact that he's probably not wrong.
Not wrong at all.
If only Roman was on the same page.
"You are, aren't you?" His eyes narrow slightly, hand gradually starting to move down from the her back to the sizable swell of her ass. "I bet that pussy dripping for me already."
Solana's eyes shut, her nails clawing against his chest. "R—roman." Her breathing is labored, heart beating a mile per fucking minute, and that only intensifies when he squeezes her ass. Her natural reaction being to arch into him, her breast pressing against his solid body. "Oh my God....."
"God can't do for you what I can, sweetheart."
Blasphemy. Filth. Pure disrespect, and yet her head drops against his chest as he slides his hand to the front of her, wiggling it between her thighs.
Solana means to stop him, means to push him away, but her body seems to have a mind of its own, because she finds herself widening her stance, giving him all the access he needs.
The go ahead.
And he takes full advantage of that, Solana gasping loudly when he moves to cup her through her underwear. Her soaked underwear. "Dripping." He taunts, and it's true. Legs no longer mushed together, she absolutely feels the wetness dripping down, soaking her panties. "I'm taking you out to dinner after the match, but I think we should just skip to dessert right now."
Eyes widening, she gasps again when Roman removes his hand and picks her up, her thighs naturally wrapping around his waist. He carries her over to the trainers table, plopping her down on the edge.
"Lay back."
Her stomach is all kinds of twists and turns. She's not stupid. Far from it. There's only one place this is headed. "I—what?"
Roman, however, looks bored, stating so plainly. "I don't make it a habit to repeat myself, Solana. Even with a pretty thing like you, so do me a favor and just lay back."
If someone told her this is how the night would kick off, she'd call them crazy as all the outdoors. There's no way in hell this man is about to do what she thinks he is.
Is he?
Voicing her thoughts, she struggles with just how to word what is an otherwise simple thing to ask. "Are you...."
His gaze is piercing. "Can I?"
What a fucking question.
Once
Once has she had someone go down on her, and it wasn't even her ex-fiance. It was a guy she dated in college for a few months. To say it was......disappointing would be an understatement.
She didn't even finish.
Back to the borderline crisis at hand, she finds herself oversharing. "My ex. He didn't—he wouldn't....."
"Well, he's a fucking idiot." Roman's cruel but accurate remark is accompanied by his big hand moving up the sides of her dress until its scrunched by her stomach. "Eating pussy is a delicacy."
Her eyes shut again. He's so nasty.
So why is it only making her wetter?
Roman's fingers lightly tugging the waistband of her underwear reminds her of the proposed question.
This is a bad idea. A very bad idea. She doesn't sleep around. Doesn't let random men go down on her, and yet, the minute Roman licks his lips, the decision is almost made for her.
"Y—yes."
That alluring, small smile is back as he moves his hand to her stomach, pushing down just enough to get her in position. "Lay down, and let me show you what it's like to be with a real man."
Sweet baby Jesus.
Solana is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, back flat against the cool table when he goes to pull down her panties, leaving her open and exposed.
She hears Roman make a sound. "Mmm. Pussy just as pretty as I imagined."
Her hands clench at her side. He's thought about this? About her? About her—
"Ahhh." Her back is almost entirely off the table the minute his thick tongue gives one full, sensation stirring lick up her cunt. "Roman...." she moans, hands planted on the table, head thrown back as his cool breath blows against her pussy.
Seconds later, his tongue is back on her, fingers spreading her lips while his tongue teases a languid circle around her clit. "Oh my....."
The sound of his deep chuckle travels from his space between her legs. "I'm gonna make a fucking mess out of you."
And before she can process that, he tugs her by her thighs, diving face first into her cunt. Solana is a mewling, writhing mess as he sucks on her pussy like its the fuel and energy he needs for the fight to come. Laps at her with a hunger and desire that nearly matches her own, because whatever her ex did to her that one time is nothing compared to what he's doing to her right now.
"Shit...." Her body is hot, her nipples hardening by the second, and Solana can't help the way her thighs squeeze against his head, her lower half coiling and twisting from pleasure she's never experienced.
"You like that, don't you?" He hums, voice haughty and knowing. "Like me eating this pretty pussy, don't you, sweetheart?"
Her answer is an obvious one, breathed out over and through heavy pants. "Shit, yes." He sucks on her clit, the slurping sound practically filling the room and egging on her moans.
He pulls away, the absence something that's so much more noticable and painful than it should be. Only for her to arch again when his finger plays around with her nectar that feels like it's spread all over her lower half at this point. "Look how wet you are. I can tell she been neglected." Roman swirls his finger in circles around her clit, thumb applying just the lightest pressure. "Can tell she been needing me."
Solana can't and won't disagree. Not that she could anyway. Logic is very much a thing of the past. The only thing on her mind is ecstasy, and he's giving her more of that than she's ever had in all sexual interactions with all of her ex's put together.
"Goddamn, you taste good." He goes back to licking and sucking on her again, groaning almost. "Would stay down here all night if I could."
Solana nearly comes right then and there.
She wouldn't be opposed.
At all.
He stays with his head between her legs for what feels like inhumanly possible, long enough for that feeling she's only ever been able to give herself starting to rise. Toes curling and stomach twisting, she manages to whine out, "Roman, I—I'm gonna—"
He kisses her clit, coaxing her, guiding her, encouraging her. "I know, baby." She can practically visualize the smirk on his face. "Now be a good girl and come in daddy's mouth."
It's disgusting how that one filthy command manages to evoke her orgasm from her, Solana nearly sitting all the way up as her release shoots through her entire body. Roman continuing to suck on her and lap up every bit of it until there's not a fucking drop left.
Solana's practically lifeless body collapses against the table. Everything below her belly button is numb. Eyes shut, pulse probably in the danger range, she has no ability to do anything other than lay there and recover.
She's never come that hard, that much, that long.
Who is this man?
Solana whimpers a bit when she feels something against her, wiping her. A towel most likely. Strong but surprisingly gentle hands help her body to lift up only for her to fall against a solid chest, her forehead against Roman's shoulder.
She clutches onto him as he kisses her temple. "That's my girl." His girl. His anything. She's whatever he says and more. That's how fucked out he has her. "I'll see you after the match, okay?"
Sure. Fine. Whatever. Her ability to agree to anything was sucked out of her by that dangerous tongue of his, so the most she can do is nod against him.
Roman chuckles and gradually pulls away, Solana gripping on the edge of the table, eyes opening just enough to see that strong, muscular back of his as he walks out the door, closing it behind him.
She isn't sure how long she sits there, dress pulled up, towel covering her bottom half. She just knows that even after sitting for what should be a long enough time, her legs are still wobbly. Even as she moves around the room to look for her underwear only to see they're nowhere to be found, leaving her with one conclusion.
Roman took them with him.
The thought shouldn't make her pussy flutter. It really shouldn't and yet, here she is.
God, what did he do to her?
Swallowing, she does her best to maintain her pride and walks out, guided by the same guard who escorted her to Roman in the first place. He takes her up to what must be VIP seating. It's the perfect view of the celled ring and cages on the side intended for the participants.
Sitting there alone and with nothing else to occupy her mind, Solana's mind starts racing. That shouldn't have happened. She should have stopped him. Should have said no.
Even if she did want it just as much as he seemingly did. Nevertheless, that shouldn't matter. He's him. She's her. They're very different people. She's supposed to have morals and standards. Women who have that don't let men who are practically strangers go down on them.
But, that's exactly what she did, and she feels terrible about it.
"You must be my brother's flavor of the night."
Solana is already nervous as all the outdoors, yet somehow the interruption of her overthinking only serves to exacerbate that anxiety.
But, when she looks over and sees the source, Solana is unsure which is worse: what's said or who said it.
Rosalia Reigns isn't as tall or built as her twin brother. Not at all. A given considering their different sexes, but she's every bit as intimidating as him, and they do share some similar features. Same set of pretty brown eyes. Those full, pink lips and that overall powerful aura.
You know just by looking at her that she's an important person.
And she is. She comes only second to her brother.
Roman
Solana swallows and adjusts her dress as Rosalia gives her a oneover, not even trying to hide her distaste. "H—hi. I'm—"
"I don't care." Rosalia interrupts, a level of venom in her voice. "You'll be an afterthought come tomorrow morning when you join the rest of his whores on the island of forgettables."
Sting.
Solana shouldn't be surprised nor hurt by such cruel words. Rosalia, much like her brother, has never been known for kindness. Regardless, that knowledge doesn't stop the tears from pooling in her eyes.
Cause the words hit way too close to home given what just happened.
Something noticed by the other woman. An equally cruel smile growing on her face. "Aww, did I hurt your feelings?" Her smile deepens as she scoffs, sitting down in her chair. "Yeah, Ro definitely dropped the ball with you. You're dumber and more naive than the other stupid bitches my brother loves to entertain."
A stupid bitch. Any other time, Solana would disagree. She may not verbalize as such, but she would inwardly reject such a thing. But, she can't. She can't because it's true.
She gave Roman exactly what he wanted. Fell into his trap. Another of many nameless, faceless, forgettable conquests.
She's no different or better than any of the other women Roman messes around with.
She's now one of them.
And she feels disgusted with herself.
Not wanting Rosalia to see her cry, or anyone else, Solana mumbles a quiet 'excuse me' and rushes past the smirking woman. She needs to get out of here. Needs to go home.
Needs to never see or speak to Roman Reigns ever again.
This was a mistake. All of it.
And it can never happen again.
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drdemonprince · 3 days
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hey, so this is super random and I’m not sure if you have thought about this but figured I’d ask: (came to my mind after reading your story in *unmasking* about intervening in street harassment)
I’m audhd and it really affects my sensory processing, social/ situational awareness etc since it’s hard for me to discern which stimuli are important in any given situation. I’m also realizing that I never really feel unsafe as a single woman in a dense city environment, even when my friends feel unsafe. Makes it hard to trust my own intuition about that kinda stuff since everyone I know apart from myself has that experience.
Question is, do you happen to have any info/ best practices about situational awareness and judging the danger of potentially sketchy situations? Walking around the city at night, creepy rural gas station, online hookup, greyhound bus alone etc.
Everything online says “trust your intuition” but my intuition always says “ehh it’ll be fine” lol.
The truth is, it usually WILL be fine. Most people's *~magical crime and danger intuition~* is a combination of true crime slop, inaccurate media coverage of the crime rate inflating their anxieties, and classism and racism. The vast majority of crimes are not committed by random strangers lurking in the dark, but between individuals who know one another and in circumstances that are at least somewhat explicable, and so you do not need magic empath powers to determine if you will be safe somewhere or not.
The way you keep relatively safe is by informing yourself of the facts, not the hype -- look up the actual crime statistics for your area, for example, though be highly skeptical of them. These figures are collected by the police state and we cannot trust them to define what safety or unsafety even IS, as they are the source of the danger for the majority of us. What they classify as crime and where they bother to enforce crime is highly skewed, and itself can create massive misapprehensions. So make sure to also speak with people in the communities you are visiting about what happens to them and the general vibe. Also spend a lot of time out in your community yourself, observing things, talking to people, hanging out, maybe volunteering, and learning the lay of the land. You'll have more people around to help you if you ever need it, and you'll find more occasions where your help is needed, too!
Follow some basic, common sense advice to avoid making oneself especially vulnerable, but don't over-isolate yourself. Things like keeping one earbud out of your ear when walking home alone at night and not keeping a purse open on the train are always sensible maneuvers; carrying pepper spray or a gun that will more likely be used to harm you is not. Learn how to de-escalate people if you don't already know -- acting calm, making your posture non-threatening but confident, moving slowly and predictably, avoiding provocative eye contact, changing the subject of conversation, engaging a victim of harassment and pretending to know them in order to drag them away from a bad situation, etc. These things will be helpful to you if a situation arises, and the more prepared you feel, the less anxious you ever have to be.
Honestly, moving through the world with a "this feels fine / seems fine" energy is ITSELF massively protective. I have ALWAYS walked around alone at night, even when I was a small 18 year old "girl," including in areas where the majority of women of my then-demographic would have not felt "safe" going out on their own. By and large, I was completely fine. People really don't want to mess with you if you seem like you have a handle on your shit and are not afraid of them.
The worst that ever happened to me was a guy grabbing my tit -- in broad daylight on a sunday on a train packed full of people. It really couldn't have been avoided. And a guy flashing me -- again in midday in a family oriented neighborhood many would deem safe. I survived these things, and I defended myself by getting aggressive with the guys who did them, and physically attacking them, which scared them off. I'm glad I did what I did, and I'm glad I wasn't so intimidated by the possibility of scary stranger danger that I kept myself sequestered away.
The few other times anyone made me uncomfortable, it was things like leering comments or walking alongside me for a block, hitting on me (sometimes, yes, late at night), but because I was able to be assertive, unbothered, and stand my ground, the guys always gave up or were scared off (by me). And this reaction from me is one I largely credit to having no instinctual "stranger danger" crime intuition of the sort most white women are conditioned to have.
In short, I think your instincts might be more accurate to reality than your friends' are. It's good to look around and pay attention to things, to learn to recognize patterns, to study one's area, to speak to people in your community and know what's going on, and to prepare oneself for hard situations, which WILL happen to you sometimes no matter what you do. but the world is rarely as scary as it's made out to be.
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solbaby7 · 3 days
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Hi, can I have an espresso martini, on the rocks? Oh and don't forget to add lime 😋
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you guys always give me an inch with this angst shit and i continue to take a mile but the vibe is giving a starfall one night stand😬 bottoms up
[ “kiss me like that again and i’ll start thinking you’re in love with me” + smut/angst + rhysand ]
-> BLURB BAR <-
Perhaps you were a glutton for punishment.
A feign for unfortunate situations where the odds are very obviously stacked against your favor and yet you can't help but lean into the girlish notion that everything will work out if you just believe hard enough.
You can't even count how many times you've wished on these same stars year after year, begging anyone who'll listen to just allow Rhysand to see you. To look your way and perceive more than just a kind person and a loyal friend. You wanted love proclamations, carefully curated poetry professing the same things you were too pussy to admit aloud.
Never once had your prayers been answered before.
It’s foolish to believe they’d be answered now when Rhysand saunters through and graces you with the time of day. Hope sets root in your chest when compliments drip from his tongue like honey, violet eyes roving over your figure with a practiced confidence. A ridiculous amount of money was spent on a Starfall dress and you’re positively preening by time your High Lord has a finger tracing along the bodice. “Wear this for me, did you?”
“No.” Yes.
A wicked smirk plasters itself across his face, handsome features accentuated by the brilliance of the night sky and the shooting stars decorating it—a god among common males. Your mother taught you better than to believe the senseless worship whispered when his mouth is on your neck, tongue tasting at your skin. Teeth biting and bruising in a way that can’t possibly be described as lovemaking with the way Rhysand carelessly tugs at fine fabrics to expose the soft expanse of bare skin underneath. “It certainly feels like you wore it for me. Perhaps only so I could take it off you.”
“Keep that up and your ego may grow bigger than whatever your hiding in your pants.” If that were even possible. You can feel the hard length of him lazily grinding against your belly as his hands explore the new terrain you’ve opened up to him. Nimble fingers expertly undoes your bra to toss it aside, replacing the slightly padded hold with warm palms instead.
Desperate groans tumble past your lips, back arching into his touch, hips rolling into the bulge that fuels the growing fire in your gut. “Take them off me and find out.”
How fucking long had you dreamed of this?
Of Rhysand’s hands sinking down your body, squeezing at the softness of your hips and toying with the dainty straps of your underwear. Blunt nails bite into the curve of your waist, drifting lower and lower until he’s pawing at handfuls of your ass.
Perhaps you show a touch too much of that covetous desire when lips meet, tongues touching and tastes intermingling. A haughty moan is coaxed from you as he takes the lead, chuckling breathlessly to himself when you begin to melt in his grasp. “Keep kissing me like that and I’ll start to think you’re in love with me or something.”
Somewhere deep down you know it’s just a harmless comment and yet the words hit you like a ton of bricks, weighing heavy on your chest and planting a seed of insecurity.
It’s just the way he says it—almost pitiful in its delivery.
Walls begin building its fortifications around your heart, emotions reigning themselves in to be safely tucked back in the conclaves of your ribs as your brain saunters forward with its hand outstretched.
The keys of control is handed over without fuss and your heart doesn’t bother looking back, all too familiar with this silent disappointment as it returns to its rightful place—in your chest and not offered to some pampered High Lord on a silver platter. “Your mouth has better uses than for talking,” Your voice lacks that blind devotion that usually pours free, spilling over and splashing at the shine of Rhysand’s shoes. “Or maybe I’m just giving you too much credit?”
“Too much credit?” The whiplash of your change in body language is obvious across regal features. And so is the interest that glows to life in aubergine irises. His touch is hungrier—filled with the need to please. To feed his ego with the feast of your moans and swallow you up like sweet ambrosia. “Let’s find out.”
You should be ecstatic; vibrating with anticipation when Rhys lifts you in the air like you weigh nothing. Legs are guided to rest over his shoulders, strong arms clamp around the fat of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat of your hips while his face buries itself in your sex.
This should be an everything. A dream come true.
Still, the girlish fantasy of feelings attached to such a pleasure no longer sparks with life.
After all, happy endings only ever exist in fairytales.
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bitter-panacea · 2 days
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Goultard's accidental queer coding
(And, incidentally, why I headcanon Goultard as transfem/not cis)
Disclaimer : i say goultard's queer coding is accidental because i really dont believe that gou was intended to be read as queer when tot wrote him. Nonetheless, the subtext is still present and i believe any queer person would assume goultard to be somewhat queer while reading the manga. Interpretation can be different from intention. Also, and this applies to most of what i post, i share my personal analysis and interpretation and everyone is free to have their own.
(I got lazy and don't want to format this post properly, so this mess is what you get lol)
Pariah to hero.
Goultard was an outcast since he was born. A very common trope in queer coding.
After he proves himself worthy by showing he can be of use to the village. He's respected, adored, almost worshipped. But only as long as he fulfills the narrow role people want and expect from him. He's rejected and insulted as soon as he doesn't fit into this role.
Strict traditional masculine gender roles are forced on him. The protector. Stronger than any opponent, stronger than himself and his emotions...
I also think of his condition of being a son of iop, this sword of damocles hanging over his head, as a nature that is imposed onto him over and over again when he didnt choose it and doesnt want it. Being a warrior is supposedly in his blood its what hes good at and therefore should do, settling down and having a family is supposedly contrary to this nature. Even though its what makes him the happiest.
I wonder if traditional gender roles vary from one class to another. Is there any specificity between iop men and iop women. If iop men are by default considered more iop than iop women. Is feminity synonym with weakness for iops. Must a iop woman choose to never settle down and stay a real iop or abandon her warrior status/her iopness to raise offspring at home while the iop men can keep fighting. Maybe class affects the form sexism takes.
Ive joked about gou being in a polycule with three outcast witches being proof he isnt cishet and that the three of them were waiting for gou to figure his shit out... kinda real
After being possessed by the symbiote,
(Which can also be seen as him failing at his role of protector, failing to protect his family. He blames himself for it) the way he's rejected, dehumanized, called a monster, a creature, specifically not a man, and at the same time mocked, can be very reminiscent of queer phobia.
His relationship with the symbiote is reffered as them being a couple and compared to a romantic/sexual relationship.
It feels to me like, while gou was possessed, and shortly after, he could allow himself to step out of that preconceived idea of masculinity that comes with being a "hero", and indulge in the gray areas. Not a human or a demon, not a god or a mortal, not a man or a woman. While still having deeply internalized cisheteronormativity, grasping for some "normality" whenever he's faced with someone else's opinion of him. Needing to justify and prove he is not queer, prove he's man enough, prove he isnt weak, like he needs to convince himself as well as everyone else. Hating the subject but bringing it up unprompted. Always overcompensating.
There is something reminiscent of being in a queer relationship for the first time and it happens to be incredibly abusive. You might feel like the abuse is worth it if it means being allowed to be more authentically yourself, you tell yourself your abuser understands you and loves you for who you really are even if they hurt you, and the queerness of the relationship isolates you, making it impossible for you to get help to leave said relationship.
But much later, when his reputation got better (how much did he have to do with it, how much of his reputation is what he carefuly build it to be) and he had to take his father's power and become the new iop god, the pressure to act a specific way, to fit into this box, would have come back. The whole "iops dont cry" thing with gou denying and hiding his emotions in wakfu.
He's often reduced to that image of the unbeatable warrior, the ideal masculinity, the very definition of what a iop should be... what he thinks he should be.
He gets enraged at his fans for essentially worshipping a fake idealized and shallow version of him, making money off of his image and reputation, but rejecting him as a person, his humanity. They dont want to know who he truly is. He wants to be respected for his heroic actions, not because of this fake idealized vision people have of him.
(isnt it fucking hilarious that this is exactly what wakfu and a lot of the fandom does to him too sorry I'll stop being a hater).
Goultard's reputation and how he feels about it is a fascinating subject. Very confusing but thats because he is himself confused about what he wants it to be, but it sure is extremely important to him.
In the end, goultard recognizes the only people who knew and understood him are dead.
His emotions are seen as unmasculine and ridiculous because theyre too intense (seen as hysteric, too sensitive) Vil smisse says he's "worse than a chick". They say he has his mother's character whos literally named cabotine (hysteric).
He sees himself as a poet, someone sentimental, complains that people don't see it, don't recognize it, can't/don't understand this part of him. Kills an entire village because they didnt appreciate this part of him (a little excessive maybe lmao)
The way he presents, wears dresses as a child, skirts later in life, long hair with accessories... not necessarily effeminate but kinda androgynous hes gnc af or whatever. (I dont know what other people think but he always looks super androgynous to me, except in wakfu) Hes very goth looking in the manga which is also queercoded in itself.
His entire relationship with arty like come on.
People call him a homo and assume hes a homo thats pretty queer coded to me lol
Even the text makes fun of him for being the way he is. Hes often shown to be sort of a ridiculous person. Its not just the other characters who think that. They dont really expect you as a reader to sympathize with gou for being ridiculed. There are a few moments that feel gratuitously sadistic towards gou.
Arty also gets disrespected/has homophobia directed at him but always in relation to gou
(People assume arty's queer BECAUSE he's with gou), gou is disrespected/has homophobia directed at him way more and not always because of his relationship with arty (people assume gou's queer because he looks and acts in ways that make people think hes queer)
The whole thing with arty being a dragon is pretty queer coded too, discovering his true nature and being rejected for it, learning to accept himself etc...
But its such a classic trope it also fits other interpretations. Im thinking notably about growing up mixed, hes rejected for not being "human" enough but also not "dragon" enough, too much like a "human" or too much like a "dragon" having trouble figuring out his identity and accepting it, he inherits a long, complex and painful history from one side of his origins, fights to be seen as legitimate by the other dragons, very steven universe-esque.
And it's just very much coming-of-agey in general. His body changing and having new confusing emotions that he struggles to control. Facing new responsibilities. Kind of spiderman like. They do make a little joke about artys adoptive grandpa crail being like his version of uncle ben. So its also a metaphor for growing up in general.
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risingsoleil · 2 days
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did linzin ever fight? And i mean big fights and they stopped talking to each other for days even their kids noticed? If yes how will they fix it
100% yes.
I'll break down a couple they've had:
#1 is one of the most common ones they have. It's Lin disregarding her own safety and putting herself on the line to protect others (not their family). They've had loud arguments about it.
Tenzin: do we mean nothing to you?! Do I mean nothing to you?! Lin: Stop saying shit to hurt me! I know what I'm doing! I wouldn't put myself in danger if I thought I'd end up dead! Tenzin: You owe it to me and the kids to not put yourself at risk. Why don't you let someone else die?! Lin: That's so rich coming from you--an airbender who's supposed to value all lives.
I'm not sure how they've solved this. Tenzin steps up to protect Lin so that she's not the one taking hits. But then Lin gets pissed at him. Then they fight about it. The cycle continues. Lin brings up "We can't both put ourselves on the line, otherwise our kids will end up as an orphans!!"
#2 - Tenzin wanting to take Jin and Areum on a long trip for airbender studies. Lin is frustrated because she knows that he only wants to pass down the knowledge of his culture to their kids, but she worries about how this will look to their other kids who might feel that he's showing favoritism. Tenzin argues that it's like an airbender rite of passage, and there are just specific things that airbenders will relate to. The kids overheard this one and would slide little notes under their parents' door. "Please don't fight ♡" Lin and Tenzin have definitely ignored each other for a while with this fight. It doesn't last long, but they definitely want a break from the other.
#3 - One fight that I think would be interesting is Tenzin being jealous that Lin is getting more respect in her workplace than he does. As an officer, Lin is good at being stoic and abrasive when she needs to be. She earns and commands respect over the years--even before they had kids. Tenzin struggles to find his own authority in politics. No one takes him seriously and constantly compares him to Aang. He's trying not to let his temper come through and once it slips a bit, City Hall uses that against him. Eventually, he kinda takes it out on Lin. And she can't understand what his problem is, and why he's being so snarky about her work. At first, she thought it was just jealousy over guys checking her out and things like that. But eventually, she hears from a little birdy (or maybe she just interrogated a worker) that no one sees Tenzin as a strong legislator on the Council.
#4 Not feeling prioritized in the relationship. This has happened on both parties. Both of them with their work schedules, but especially after Aang died. That period of chaos before the next Avatar is discovered was crazy and a bit of a blur for them.
The way they resolve or work through some of these fights changes. Sometimes, swallowing your pride and getting on your knees to give head to show you're sorry will work. Other times, it requires compromise and talking things through--Lin's *favorite* method.
Linzin tries to keep their fights/arguments away from the kids as much as possible. I think the kids have heard more fights than Linzin thinks they have. But Linzin's determination to work through these fights reinforces their love for each other to the kids.
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grumpy-detective · 6 months
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please, not to kinkshame or whatever the term would be, but if you are gonna post rpf fics, DO NOT post it in the main tags of the creator/person
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eebie · 3 months
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will be a hater for a second but i will be real. idgaf aboutkabru And 90% of the reason why is bc me n my friends watched the dub and couldnt stand how much he talked with the super breathy generic anime protag voice
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deanpinterester · 2 years
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she hulk is generally a fun legal comedy BUT the way they handled daredevil is so marvel typical. the thing is, matt IS capable of being funny. he fucks around with foggy and karen sometimes. but his brand of humour isn’t being snarky and making wink-wink-nod-nod jokes, which seems to be the only type of verbal humour allowed to fly in she hulk. when he correctly sensed that the frog guy was using jet fuel and won the case, he wouldn’t say to his client “don’t ask me how i knew that” because he’s not! that type of person! he’s the type of person who just. wouldn’t say anything more in that moment! like i understand this is the she hulk show and ofc they have to keep up the comedy instead of just inserting a constantly brooding daredevil but i feel like the comedy should still be, idk, in character
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avallands-basement · 3 days
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]
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b0mblover · 5 months
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Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.
By: J
major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention
uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.
uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.
talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!
i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.
hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭
(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)
——————————
yknow,
you havent been a great person
or a good one even.
yet you still question as to why i dont love you
or like you,
maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.
maybe not
i dont really care about your feelings.
at all.
not now.
i put up with this for fucking 14 years.
my entire fucking life.
ive put up with your shit.
but now?
now im done.
you have no idea how badly you fucked up.
when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 
yknow.
he mightve not been right for what he did.
but,
it was just a mistake.
it was a goddamn mistake.
you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?
how many times ive repeated them?
how many times i fucking meant it?
just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.
you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.
dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”
bullshit.
bullshit you dont.
you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!
you had a goddamn kid
you had two goddamn children.
with this man that you fucking DESPISE.
you knew it back then too.
you told me you did.
you fucking told me.
almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.
nothing.
you have no right to act like that.
no.
you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.
for such a simple mistake.
i dont care if he talked about it since friday.
i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.
you.
you as a goddamn human.
have no right.
none.
in the slighest.
to hit another living being.
for talking about something in your eyes “too much”
or making a mistake.
youre a hypocrite.
need i remind you?
you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.
that youd be a better person.
stop the fights.
stop the beatings.
stop all of it.
and everything would be okay!
.
i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.
youre a liar.
just how you said i was.
you didnt quit.
you didnt stop.
hell two months after you hit him again!
you threatened to kill him and yourself!
cmon.
dont you get it yet?
i fucking despise you.
maybe to a degree i feel shocked.
but.
i really dont think thats it.
youre the root of my problems.
every single last fucking one.
——————
need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?
.
need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?
.
need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?
.
need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?
.
need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?
.
need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?
.
need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?
.
need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?
.
need i remind you of what i seen?
.
need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?
.
need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?
.
i dont care about your feelings anymore.
i gave up years ago.
but now.
i dont feel just numb for you.
i hate you.
in every sense of the word.
.
i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.
.
i dont care about what you think of my appearance.
.
i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.
.
i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.
.
you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.
you yelled at me.
no.
you fucking screamed at me for weeks.
im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.
i dont give a fuck about you.
and yknow?
if.
no.
if it would work.
if it was possible.
id fucking kill you.
id stab you.
right here.
right now.
to end my suffering.
to end his suffering.
all of it.
id end it all.
i dont care if its wrong.
because i know no one else knows about whats going on.
yknow.
only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.
and i havent even met her in person.
yknow.
the people i used to be close with from school.
only just learned you had an affair.
i know that.
the police are do-less.
since you know them.
and hes a man.
not a woman.
it wouldnt be taken seriously.
that he should just fight back.
yknow.
youve ruined what life he has left.
his parents beat him.
his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.
and here.
youve done the exact same thing.
yknow.
he’ll never get to see how love truely is.
because of you.
because of what youve done.
i cant say i really like him either.
but.
that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.
.
yknow whats worse?
how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.
is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.
i know i joke about that night.
but.
really.
hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.
its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 
and even now.
if you were to as so much to touch me.
while in a fight.
id do it all over again.
you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.
but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.
i wont forgive you for what youve done.
even if he will.
.
i want nothing to do with you.
get out of my life for good.
#j writes badly#woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm#ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect.#holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit#(actually shoked abt that tbh)#unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can#oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary)#i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident!#turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents!#dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen)#this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh#and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands!#(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!)#THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT#sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute#oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully)#paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me!#when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong#but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc#so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now!#yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀#heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig!#oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck.#hhvtbd but my mother is awake :(#HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things#again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird#sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo!#(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs)#CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!
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gacorley · 8 months
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There’s some common threads I see in the anti-voting posts going around, and I feel like I need to discuss some of them. Let’s start with the biggest one:
Voting to punish evil. I see lots of variations of this. Biden is supporting Israel, therefore we can’t vote for him. Is there any viable candidate who would stop the genocide? I don’t think the anti voting crowd actually cares. They are appealing to moral feelings rather than political strategy, because strategically, you have to realize that voting is not going to change foreign policy, and that change has to be pushed by other means. It’ll probably be something in the long haul.
Democrats should run someone else. First of all, this is a shit strategy. You don’t primary your president in the second term unless your party is falling apart. This may come from people from countries where replacing the head of government is easier, but the POTUS is the de facto party head. Also, going to the lack of thought to the goal — do you know someone willing to primary Biden and able to win who would do the things you want?
Biden hasn’t done anything anyway. This is just a way to bat away pro arguments. There’s plenty of lists of progress on lots of things. Student loans, insulin price caps, regulations, anti-trust.
Putting the entire Palestinian genocide on Biden. I’m not saying there’s not culpability there, but understand that the entire US government is in support of Israel, on both sides. It was a miracle we got a handful of Senators to call for investigations. We should cut off aid, absolutely. Who’s running to do that? And keep in mind that Israel chose to engage. US officials would have liked a more limited response, not out of care for Palestinians, but because they know from experience that it will come back to bite Israel in the form of newly radicalized Hamas recruits.
Liberals just have no hope for change. This is a new one. Just some idea that people are stuck in a rut and that’s the reason the two party system exists. The two party system is a mathematical consequence of the way we vote. There is reason to hope for change. The change, though, whatever means you choose, will take decades. Keep working at it. The hope is not that this election will fundamentally change things. The hope is that many small political actions over the years will push things forward.
Funnily enough, I haven’t seen a whole lot of third party promotion, just lots of this rhetoric aiming to punish. When voting, ask yourself:
Is this problem I have with this candidate something that the other candidate would be better on?
Are there other political actions I can take that will help?
What things can change with a different President or Congress, and what needs to be pursued by other means?
Withholding your vote as a punishment isn’t really going to help. Biden doesn’t know who you are or why you are not voting for him, and there is no one with a chance of winning that will do everything you want. But you have other means. Protest, organize, donate, build up alternatives, advocate for a different system.
Vote to give yourself space and get a little bit. Do other things to keep things moving.
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cleolinda · 2 months
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I am not the first person to attempt explaining this, but let me tell you about some of the nuances of Bless Your Heart™. It does not solely or even usually translate to “you are a dumbass.” It is more subtle than that:
It is primarily a thing you say to clarify (or falsify) the tone of what you DID say
OR
it is secondarily a thing you say instead of something ELSE to maintain 1) plausible deniability 2) a moral high ground.
“Bless your heart”: You genuinely deserve blessings because you are going through it right now and you need them. Gratitude, sympathy. “I’m going to have surgery next week.” “Bless your heart! Is there anything I can do for you?” (“Oh, bless your heart for asking.”) Original face-value meaning.
“Bless your heart”: You need a blessing because God knows you’re lacking (manners, intelligence, common sense) right now. Synonyms could include “Well, isn’t that precious” or “Well, that’s different.” It often comes in clutch when you don’t want to tell someone to their face that they fucked up. Your nephew has mowed the front yard for you. He has also mowed over all your flower beds. “Well… bless your heart.” If you were going to use it as a stealth insult to someone’s face for a more egregious occasion, it would be this category. It can be a mean girl move (the classic “It’s so brave that you dress like that” vibe), but it’s also a way of saying, “I want you to know that I see what you’re doing and I don’t approve of it, and you fully understand I’m expressing that, but I’m not going to give you the justification to clap back at me because I didn’t SAY that.” Someone wears a fancy white bridal-looking gown to your cousin’s wedding: “Well, bless your heart, that sure is a dress!” (If they understand you: “What’s THAT supposed to mean?” Because they know, but they want to make you SAY it. Combat engaged.)
“Bless their heart”: I am sharing news (gossiping) about someone but I like them and I want you to understand that I do, truly, bless their heart. “It’s been so hard for her after her father passed. Bless her heart, I’m gonna make her that red velvet cake she likes.”
“Bless their heart”: I am shit talking someone and I want to cover my ass, of COURSE I am just concerned for them. “She wore white to her sister’s wedding last week! WHITE! Bless her heart, I guess some people’s children just don’t know better.” (“Well you know they say she was always after the groom—“ “NO! Bless her heart.”)
That last one is the BYH they would need to deploy (but didn’t) in the Make Some Noise clip, but I feel like it honestly wasn’t necessary because the “prayer request” already served as a cover for talking shit. It probably would have come out if they’d been allowed to keep the skit going and they needed plausible deniability for spilling juicier details that maybe Jesus didn’t actually need to hear about. Thank you for coming to my Performing Southernness While Being Neurodivergent talk.
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justatypicalwizard · 9 days
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Bakugo who eats you out because he lost a bet, smut
It all started with a bet. It was this specific chaotic type of bet that you throw over your shoulder when agitated. The one that comes pistoling out of your lips as soon as it comes to your mind, or even earlier, a fog of war limits your common sense.
This was often the case with Katsuki Bakugo who was world widely known as the most annoying person on earth.
Okay, maybe he stood on this podium only in your world (others deemed Denki as the most insufferable) but it was enough to fire the never ending quarrels.
The two of you were similar in many senses, none of which would ever admit. Despite you being way less aggressive, you had your ways of getting under other peoples’ skin when displeased. You had this fighting spirit and competitive nature that could tune well with Katsuki’s. Unfortunately it most often sang off-key.
It was hard to tell what he thought about you. On one hand you’d say he definitely disliked you, to some point maybe? If he did dislike you he wouldn’t keep you around the small circle of his friends. Katsuki proved that he could push away anyone he wished to, no matter the circumstances. That’s what happened with Deku.
So Katsuki Bakugo disliked the fact that he liked you. Or he liked to dislike you. Either way you fought, ebbed and always surged back. Oh, and bets?
I bet you won’t even make it halfway before the time is up. He throws when he passes you down the hallway, spotting you bending your back over a book, minutes before the exam.
I bet your lovely friend will come looking for you soon. You snicker leaving him in the kitchen of the house party you’re both at. He’s currently hiding from a bimbo who really tries to ask him out and doesn’t take no for an answer.
I bet your mum dropped you when you were little.
I bet Miruko will kick your ass over this.
I bet they’ll send this essay back. It’s shit.
I bet it’ll die in this sunlight.
“Huh.” He knit his brows together, throwing you a nasty look. “Old hag didn’t say anything. It looks like it needs light.”
You were currently in his dorm room, analysing a small plant his mother left him. It was tiny, in a small ceramic pot, with three juicy green leaves poking out of the fresh soil.
“Well, I bet it’ll die if you put it in this sun.” You threw, shrugging your shoulders.
“Okay. If I win you’ll shut the fuck up for a single day around me. No words, not even a squeak.”
With the eye of your imagination you could see Katsuki pestering you for a whole day while you’d be unable to fire back. Yet, you had nothing to worry about. The little dude on the windowsill will bear three of four days before wittering. It’s the type that needs more shade.
“Fine. And if I win you can eat my ass.”
He chuckled, throwing a not happening over his shoulder before ushering you to work you both had to do.
A week later you were back in his room. It was a pleasant place to work in - clean, quiet, and always stocked with tea and coffee. Unlike you, Katsuki had the luxury of a single room which always soured your mood when he rubbed it in your face.
You were resting in his desk chair, legs crossed and organising a bunch of sources you were about to use later in your dissertation. It was the least pleasant part of writing essays. Finding academic sources in the library or browsing for them on the internet was not half bad. One could get in the swing of it after some time. And it made you feel like a real student all book heavy bags in a spacious bibliotheca.
Organising them later though? A pain in the ass.
“-by the way.” You caught only the ending of his sentence.
“Huh?” Turning around you spotten Katsuki looking at something in the far end of his room.
There was a closet there, one that didn’t quite reach the ceiling but was massive in shape. Atop of it sat the little dude in his sweet ceramic pot. Unfortunately all that was left of his three juicy leaves was one stem fighting for its life.
You clapped your hands in satisfaction, cracking a victorious laugh.
“Told you.” Fake wiping a tear from your cheek, you turned back to the desk and searched for the box you were about to tick off the long list. “Give it some more water and time. It will be fine.”
“So.” You felt him standing behind you. His shadow disrupted your writing.
“So?” Once again you turned around in his chair, cocking your brow in question.
“You won.” He crossed his arms, tapping his foot on the soft carpet in irritation.
You nodded your head with a grin but still ruffled. “Yes, and?”
“And you told me I can eat your ass.”
“Oh yeah, stuff your stupid mouth full.” You laughed but he yanked you by the arm, standing you up.
He dropped to his knees, pushing your bottom into the rim of his desk. With a shit eating grin he slipped his fingers into the sides of your trousers, grazing the bare skin of your hips underneath them.
“What the fuck dude?” You cursed, grabbing his forehead like the one of a misbehaved dog, trying to pacify him.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” The grin never left his face as he waited for your words, digging his nails into your skin.
It would be a lie to say that you never ever thought of him that way. Of course he was pretty, with his naturally fair hair that gave him a punk kind of look. With his body carved out like a marble statue. With a grin that made people both want to slap him and fawn over him.
Yes, it did cross your mind that he would be a pleasant view in the bed. Who with a sound mind wouldn’t think of that. Maybe people who weren’t attracted to-
No, it was a normal thought to have, one that may occur when you’re alone under the shower or in bed. You just often appreciate the beauty of your friends. Mina’s also cute and Kirishima is bulked as hell. It was a rational train of thoughts.
So why wasn’t your rational mind telling your hand to push him away just now? Why were you looking at his face, so close to your clothed cunt and feeling excitement bubble in your veins.
Tell me to stop and I will.
And you never did. So he pushed you to sit on the desk, pulling both your trousers and pants down at the same time. You kicked the air a few times to get rid of them but they hung from one of your ankles. It didn’t matter because his face was at its place. God bless you showered before coming here because you could have second thoughts otherwise.
“Okay, whatever the fuck you want, psycho.” You breathed as he lapped at your clit, still looking up at you.
His fingers creeped towards the inner side of your tight and you slapped him over the head.
“Uh, uh. I told you you could eat me out, not finger me. Yesterday you didn’t seem like the one to take shortcuts.” You spat, drinking up his frustration and slight… shame? Like a kid who did something wrong and got caught red handed.
“Fine.” He muttered pushing his tongue inside you. “It won’t take long anyway.” The grin was back on his face.
It indeed didn’t take long as soon, your legs were shutting tightly around his face. You weren’t even looking down anymore, the sight was a turn on but you were already overdriven. Your competitive nature was in a bliss and your head played fucking Katsuki Bakugo, on his fucking knees, between my fucking legs over and over like a broken record. You didn’t want to spoil your fun by thinking he may be having a  merrier time than you.
Not now, not when you’re so close and his palms are grabbing your tights, fingers digging into your muscles so much it would hurt if not the tension. Edging your release, you grabbed his hair in a tight fist pushing him in more, crossing your legs like it would take an “open, sesame!” to undo them.
At last, with a final short breath you came chuckling and moaning. A Katsuki may have slipped past your lips but only once.
He tore your legs open, panting like he just finished a marathon. Looking down you covered your lips to hide the laugh. His face was wet, smeared all over with what was a mixture of you both. His cheeks were heavy with blood, an intense red cutting out on his pale face. Classically, his brows were knit together.
“Did you have to make such a mess?” The blonde stood up and went to his bathroom. You caught a glimpse of the bulge in his pants.
The sound of the faucet reached your ears.
“I’m not gonna say sorry. You asked for it.” And you were pretty good at it. No. Such praise would kill your ego.
The water stopped running and you heard him stomp back. You pulled your trousers on quickly, suddenly feeling awfully naked. What would happen now? Your casual friend just ate your pussy like it was his last meal before a death sentence, and you were supposed to go back to organising the sources.
You felt a hard push to the back of your head.
“Stop thinking about it and get back out.”
Eh?!
Time went on quickly and in a weird manner. A huge something was in the air but you couldn’t find a way to bring the topic up. Why did you eat my pussy out of the blue? Was it really just about the bet? Were you feeling horny and I just so happened to be there? Are we fwb now? Do you like me?
Scratch the last one. The man gave you a headache ever since his own head left your tights. Also, he was nowhere to be found. Katsuki didn’t respond to texts, he was absent from the gym during his usual hours, and his dorm room was closed. You couldn’t just go to Kirishima and say: hey, I’m trying to figure out why Katsuki gave me head, wanna help?
The moment you run into his fleeting ass, you're gonna squeeze out the answer.
An opportunity came soon when you spotted him sneaking into the laundry room. It was a cramped space with washing machines and dryers. Fortunately, you had little thieves around dorms so people usually left their washing while it was in progress. There was a big chance you’d be alone.
Running to the door you yanked them open and rushed inside. Indeed, it was only him crouched to the lowest washing machine, putting mostly black clothes inside.
“You’re here for round two?” He smirked and you gasped.
It took you by surprise, you expected yelling or awkwardness. Nevermind. You shook off your initial stumble.
“Can you explain what the fuck do you mean by all this?” You gestured in the air as if all this was a laundry basket and an empty bottle of washing liquid scattered on the floor.
Katsuki hummed, shrugging his shoulders. He dropped the halfway loaded laundry on the floor and crawled closer to you, gripping your hips in a familiar manner. This time, you were wearing a skirt. Your back hit the door.
“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” It fell from his lips as if he was asking whether you want vanilla or chocolate ice-cream.
Your mind ran in circles like a hamster in its ball. Start a fuss and possibly fight with Katsuki or let him do his thing and cum? Uhh.
He took your panties off completely, throwing them into his washing machine but left your skirt. Halfway in, when your chest was heaving and hips pushed further and further away from the door you heard a sound on the other side.
The doorknob shook and there was a mumble on the outside. You dug your feet into the ground and Katsuki put one of his hands to shut it closed. Yet, he didn’t stop what he was doing. Both of your palms also pushed into the thin wood making you unable to quiet the panting and loud gulps. You bit your lip and it would break if something wasn’t stuffed inside your mouth.
Taking a sharp breath through your nose, you smelled him. He stuffed your mouth with one of the shirts from his laundry. You threw him a dirty look from above to which he only smirked, going back down.
“It’s locked.” The muffled voice on the other side said.
“Maybe maintenance.” A different one answered.
When they were gone, you could finally cum, biting hard into Katsuki’s shirt. You steadied yourself on a drier afterwards while he wiped his mouth with a spare T-shirt before throwing all the leftover laundry inside the washing machine and starting it.
“My pants.” You breathed out, you were still coming back to earth.
“Ops.” He threw and with a single long stride, escaped the murder scene.
Your walk of shame in the short skirt, without panties on was long.
The third time you could talk to him happened only a day later.
You were studying with Kirishima, or more like tutoring him for free, in the library. Kirishima also had a single room in the dorms but his was far more trashy and you didn’t crave to spend time in that man cave. Instead you booked a private study room. It had a small round table, a few chairs and switches to plug in electric devices.
Halfway through your study Kirishima stated he needed to go to the bathroom. You nodded and the man left. Only after a minute did you hear the door open once more.
“A line in the mens’? Unbelievable.” You chuckled but upon looking up, you were met with a nasty grin.
“Kirishima told me you guys were studying.” He cornered you. “You know the deal.”
Katsuki slipped behind your chair as you whipped your head around to stop him. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, surprisingly gentle.
“Just tell me to stop.”
Oh fuck you you pretty bastard. Is what you thought.
“Oh fuck you.” Is what you said and you wanted to add something but he pushed your upper half into the table simultaneously yanking the chair from under your butt.
It took a lick for your knees to get kinda soft and your morale to stumble between being a decent person or getting this unbelievably lucky chance for a third time.
“Can we at least do it after I finish with Kiri? I can come to your room as quickly as I am able to.” You whispered.
“Or you can call the dumbass and buy me a few minutes.” Katsuki muttered between your folds.
You cursed under your breath and grabbed your phone. Pick up, pick up, pick up, goddamn. Kirishima could be back any second. Although nothing terrible would happen if he came in on you, it would be embarrassing like hell. Finally, you heard his voice on the other side of the line.
“I’m just coming back, literally wait a second-”
“No!” You shouted into the device. “I mean.”
Katsuki seemed to slow down between your tights. Good, the bastard is not stupid and he cut you some slack this time.
“I’m sorry but I just really need a coffee, I thought you’d still be somewhere around the entrance.” You pieced together a makeshift excuse.
“I can go back. ‘Ts the least I can do for your help.” Kirishima laughed so genuinely it made you feel slightly bad for playing him like this.
“Yeah, uh, it really is boring like hell.” You laughed. The whole phone call made you unable to focus on Katsuki who was behind you and you really wanted to go back to minding him. “If I can be honest it would be lovely if you could bring me coffee from that cafe down and opposite of the library. You know which. I slept really bad and need their double espresso.” Kiri, please just say yes!
“Of course, anything for you.”
That sweetheart. Kirishima was really the perfect man, contrary to Katsuki who just now, at the very end of your call, decided to be an absolute asshole.
You felt two of his fingers push past your entrance and force your walls open. A breath got caught in your throat.
“Okay thanks, bye!” You smashed the end call button. “What the fuck are you do-”
But he was turning you around, lapping his tongue over your clit, moving his fingers in and out of your cunt all of which with closed eyes and a blissful look on his face. You gave in, because it felt so good.
After a while you finished all over his face, for the third time this week.
“I told you not to finger me.” You complained, dressing yourself in fear of Kirishima being too neat in his mission to get you coffee.
“I know and I didn’t like it. So I had to distract you.” He smirked, resting his hip on the table.
At that moment, Kirishima came inside with two paper cups, steam escaping the small opening in the lids.
“Oh, hi dude! I didn’t think you’d come here. I’d buy you coffee too.” Kirishima chirped.
“Forget about it, I was supposed to do something anyway. Just came in to say hi.” The blonde flicked his hand in the air. “Oh, and if you want-” He turned to you. “You can come to my room later and finish what we were talking about.” With that he slipped past the door leaving you with a grimace and Kirishima with a dumbfounded expression.
“What were you guys talking about?” The redhead asked.
“Nothing important, just about transplanting a small plant his mum gave him. I’ll help him later, he has already managed to nearly kill it.”
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 months
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What about the Doors/Pressure shopkeepers trying to pretend they aren't giving their crush special treatment when in groups. Like, special inventory, discreet discounts, all that jazz
Jeff (Doors)
"Oye, I see what you're doin', Jeff. Thought you weren't one for giving out freebies."
*shrug*
"Don't play dumb! I saw you sneak the skeleton key into their bag! Even Bob's a witness!"
No matter what El Goblino says, Jeff will just wave off any accusations of him giving you "special treatment" whenever you stopped by the shop with your group.
While none of them donated to the tip jar, you were the only one who ever did...and even when you came back again and again, it was always you who showed him charity.
The rest of your group would just argue over what to spend their money on, try to rush ahead, mess with his radio, etc. etc.
But you trust Jeff, and he trusts you <3
So you get small discounts on his wares, and despite him not being able to speak, you could tell he's only looking after you.
The goblin jokes about Jeff's little "crush" on you...then he sees the entity's eyes widen and realizes "wait amigo,,I wasn't being serious do you actually like them?????"
He just shoos him away and will deny it to kingdom come, but it is true.
The moment you realized his feelings for you was when Rush attacked the shop once, and you thought you were done for-
When Jeff instinctively pulled you behind the counter and slammed the shutter down, keeping you uncomfortably close (yet somehow you've never felt safer).
When it's all over, he blushes and lets you go free.
You thank him with a small kiss on the forehead(?) and promise to see him again soon.
The next time you get duped by Dupe, or attacked by Eyes, Timothy, Screech, or a snare and need to heal...you discover a few bandaids in your pocket that weren't there previously...
Huh.
Wonder who gave you those?
Sebastian (Pressure)
Normally, Sebastian doesn't care to make personal connections with any of the expendables.
He's just there as their supplier before seeing them off on their journey, hoping they're putting his resources to good use.
But recently he's been seeing you more often, coming by with a new group or by yourself, trying your best to survive long enough to reach him.
Ofc, you've died to stupid things before (or maybe you're just trying to get all the monster documents..in which he's convinced you're some masochist), but you did have the most common sense out of your group and didn't try to annoy him.
The others just waste flash beacon charges on trying to blind the poor guy and stick the keycard in a medkit they couldn't afford...and for what?
Why do your "friends" do that? Are they stupid or something?
You tell them to stop, and it's...actually kinda nice to hear somebody willing to defend him.
People usually don't give a shit about the giant scary fish's feelings, yet for some reason you do.
Of course, Sebastian was reasonably suspicious about it.
"Are you acting this way just to get a freebie?" He assumes. "Because if you are, then you're definitely as stupid as-"
"No, I'd never do that to you." You shake your head. "You're here, helping us survive out there, risking a lot to get us those supplies...is it wrong for me to appreciate that?"
"......"
He goes quiet for a minute, but after the rest of your group leaves, he asks you to stay for a moment.
"You were looking at this Necrobloxicon for a while...you must reeeeally want it, huh?" He grins, flicking his tail where the book was strapped. "It's a rarity."
"I...can't afford that. I'm fine with this dingy flashlight-"
"It's yours for 70% off. Take it or leave it."
You do a double take. "Wait, wha-"
"70% off. Take it. Or leave it." He says through gritted teeth, impatient, only to smile when you accept the deal without further question. "Good. Now don't go telling anyone I'm offering discounts. That's your only one unless I feel generous. Capiche?"
"Gotcha. Thank you, Seb. This means a lot. I hope to see you again soon." You smile back, holding the spooky book tightly, and leave him alone with his thoughts.
And a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest-
Wait.
"Oh no....what the fuck am I doing????? That's it! NO more discounts for anyone, Sebastian!" He scolds himself.
Little does he know, he's gonna keep giving them out, but only for you.
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ohtobeleah · 11 days
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Something that goes without saying is how uncertain Logan really is about sleeping in the same space as another person. Sure, he'll commit to the fun beforehand….The foreplay, the sex, the highs.
But the inevitable act of sleeping beside someone, terrifies him.
We see it in Origin, we see it in Days of Future Past. Sometimes while Logan is sleeping, his claws come out when he feels under duress. Nightmares are a common occurrence for this man, not a night goes by where he isn't waking in the dead of night to the ghost of his past.
And I'd like to think of all the Logans running around the multiverse, that the Worst!Logan has surely been through some things. He's never experienced true rest. Not until he met you.
“I'll sleep on the couch.” Its common at the beginning of whatever the dynamic between the two of you is. Logan ends up back at your cafe, or in your living-room, bathroom, kitchen or bed—but he never stays beside you for longer than a few minutes after. Not because he doesn't crave that intimacy or true human connection, but because the idea of losing you to his own mutation truly scares the ever-living fuck out of him.
But one night, you catch him off-guard. So off guard that Logan doesn't even have a counter proposal ready.
“Ill join you,” You beam, padding down the hallway with your blanket and pillow wrapped in your arms. “Somethings bothing you and with friends like me and Wade, that shits gonna come up eventually,” You ramble. As you sit beside Logan on the lounge he slept on more often than his own bed, he catches a glimpse of a few noticeable scars on your back. Scars where his claws had once accidentally taken over in an otherwise romantic moment between the two of you. “So, get talking pops.”
“Don't call me pops.” Logan sighs as he opens his body up for you to snuggle up against him. “It's nothing I can't handle, didn't anyone ever tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong?”
“Are you trying to tell me that I don't belong here?” You counter quickly, playing Logan’s logic against himself. “Me? Resident of this timeline? Doesn't belong right here next to you?”
“Go fuck yourself,” Logan smiles all the while trying to keep his brooding man mask on. But with you he feels ever atom of his being igniting with desire and unconditional love. “I worry I'll hurt you, while I'm sleeping,” Logan explains as you listen to his heartbeat inside his chest. Snuggled on the lounge in your apartment. “You don't know how much that thought terrifies me.”
“Hmm,” You hum in response. “Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself Lo, is what if the nightmares, what if the fear stops, when you allow yourself to rest with someone you love?” It was a bold word to use, and even though it was rarely, if ever used, there wasn't another word in the English language to describe how Logan felt about you. Or how you felt about him.
And its a thought that's never crossed Logans mind before. He frowns, thinking it over in the late-night silence. You fall asleep there, right with your head on Logans chest as he tru thinks.
Only to wake up in a tangled mess of sheets, with Logan snorning next to you as the early morning sun kisses his golden, aging skin. Its the first night in years he hasn't woken in screaming terror.
“Tell me told you so and I'll turn you into a skewer.” Logan mumbles as you pepper him with kisses across his exposed back.
“I think I'll take my chances with you, Lo,” You chuckle to yourself. “I'll make you some coffee.”
@a-reader-and-a-writer Canon Ilya universe content
Ilya
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velvetures · 3 months
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Soap would be so fucking protective of you, and I can’t get it out my head. So now it’s your problem :)
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You don’t like drinking? He’s the first to draw attention away from the lack of a beer bottle in your hand. Using that irresistible charm to woo everyone out of their questions and peer pressure to get you to join in. He sees how nervous it makes you. And he’s far too sensitive to your feelings to let it happen. Besides… he’s gotten really good at giving the right orders to bartenders, so that he can give you some fruity, soda-laden thing, that passes off as one of the other cocktails all your friends are nursing.
Uncomfortable family dinners? You know, that one where your least favorite uncle is oh-so-willing to give you shit for not going into the career all of them think you should’ve pursued? Oh hell no. Soap won’t spend one second thinking over whether it’s polite or not to speak up. He just does. Abandoning your mom’s casserole he’s been complimenting with a full mouth, just to look your bastard of an uncle in the face and tell him he’d be better off complaining to the business end of a pistol. At least then, he’d get a response that would shut him up for good.
That ex who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? He’s as good as dead. Not that he’s instinctively jealous… because really, he knows better. It’s just the mere thought of someone taking advantage of your life. Of your time. He’s livid because you’re too special to be harassed like that. Treated like a game that can be picked up and put down whenever the mood arises. Soap won’t make a spectacle of it… but the monthly calls and texts suddenly stop after a while. And you think it’s because you finally broke down and changed your phone number a second time. But… that hadn’t stopped your ex the first time. Soap just shrugs. Giving the excuse that common sense might’ve given him a change of heart. Johnny just didn’t have the heart himself to tell you that ‘common sense’ didn’t have the chance. He was far quicker.
Soap had lived a life so uncomfortable for so long, that seeing a sweet thing like you experience it becomes intolerable. It’s as if all of the killing and destruction he’s committed was for nothing, when something -even trivial- blockades your walk through life. His nature is to fix the problem. And his training only enhanced the instinct to do it violently. Quick and controlled action, using brute force to make the world spin to your tempo. And god… you hate when he does it. Constantly reassuring him that you’re an adult. That you’re prepared for life not to be easy, and that it’s only going to make you stronger in the end.
He won’t hear it though.
He wants you soft. Desperately, actually. More of a requirement for his own happiness than anything. And often times he thinks that it’s selfish. That maybe he is truly robbing you of some experiences that might be good for you. Make the life you lead interesting for the kids and grandchildren you tell stories to. But then again, he’s so staunch in his ways, that it comes to fruition like muscle-memory. Placing you on your silken throne and taking a defensive stance in front of you like a medieval knight hellbent on keeping his royalty alive and well.
John MacTavish knows your place and it’s to be behind him. Right where he can protect and provide, without the fear of you crying or getting hurt by the seemingly endless amount of people who unfathomably don’t want the same things for you. They all say they love you… want the best… but he challenges it.
Every. Single. Time.
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