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tojiscrack · 24 days ago

Text

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑

summary: 16.1k words — you find out who your new tutor is and set up a tutoring session with them. but there are certain people around you who don’t seem particularly pleased with your new company.

notes: yes, i am in the process of changing the theme for liar, liar. the previous chapters still have the red filter/colour (‘cause i’m lazy lmao) but will be changed soon! :) edit: all of it has been changed now! anyway, i have a feeling you guys won’t like this chapter much… for specific reasons, but i hope you enjoy it anyway!

tw: swearing, mentions of death, imaginary funerals, kidnapping, and starvation

i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.

previous chapter :)

next chapter :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

"yuji, you're giving us nothing to work on," said nobara, her chin balanced on her hand, held up by the elbow she kept on the table. "i sent you the account so you can look at it yourself!" yuji protested, pointing at your phone placed on the centre of the round table.

nobara held a hand up and looked around with a grimace. "okay — why are you yelling?"

before yuji could answer, with a pointless response no doubt, you intervened with downturned lips, unimpressed. "why would you even tell us this if you didn't wanna discuss it?"

"'cause it's rude!"

the four of you were hunched over around the cafeteria table, the usual din of voices creating a background hum that you'd all grown used to. your phone was placed in the centre, like some kind of prized artifact, its screen aglow with yuji's latest discovery, something he had learned from junpei the other day.

a few students nearby shot glances in your direction, perhaps noting the way nobara's voice was dipping lower and the way yuji kept throwing up his hands in protest. megumi sat beside you with his usual impassive expression, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else but here, indulging in pointless gossip. even so, you could tell he did seem mildly intrigued by the new info.

during sophomore year, an instagram account had been opened by an anonymous person at the school, surrounding its posts and content on potential (or actual) relationships — it went by the name @jujutsuhighships. it had been inactive during the spring semester last academic year, so you'd all believed it to be gone for good. perhaps the owner had grown tired of maintaining such an account. megumi suggested that they might have been finishing off their senior year at the time and left the school entirely; there was no point in running an account for a school they no longer attended.

you commended him with the idea of that theory, and it had been a plausible explanation at first, for some time...

before the account owner had posted a new image last week.

it was about jemma abrams and hallie gomez, both of whom were supposedly cheating on their partners with each other.

the issue here was that the three of you had been patiently waiting for the juicy details, but yuji, despite having brought up the topic entirely, seemed reluctant to dig into the gossip itself, apparently too kind to do so. it made you want to grab him by his unnatural, pink hair and shake him where he sat: why bring it up if you aren't gonna let us revel in it?

"oh my god, just forget it," nobara groaned, pulling out her own phone and tapping at it aggressively. "i'll just ask my cheer girls to fill us in. stephanie has a mutual friend with jemma."

"what if the account's wrong?" megumi suggested, speaking for the first time in a while. when you all turned to face him, he frowned. "does no one remember what it said about yuji last year?"

the boy in question visibly shivered. it seemed that he himself had not forgotten, and why would he? that was a serious accusation, you noted in your head thoughtfully.

when choso had come to the school to walk yuji to an external football club at some ordinary wednesday in sophomore year, a later post had been made by @jujutsuhighships claiming that yuji was having questionable relations with a 'much older, tattooed man', and then attached an image of choso and yuji walking on one side of the crosswalk together.

"the account makes mistakes all the time," said nobara, shrugging. one glance at yuji had her visibly grimacing. "really disgusting mistakes sometimes, sure, but look at the way they post — i don't think it's meant to be accurate. they post about relationships we know of, random pairings they think would look nice, and then random people on the side —"

"— like you and malakai," you added helpfully.

she faced you with sharp, narrowed eyes.

"y/n, i'm going to stab you if you keep mentioning that."

you tried (and failed) to mask your grin. "but i just helped prove your point."

"that wasn't a mistake," she corrected you with a slam of her hand on the table. people walking by glanced at the back of her head with visible confusion; her eyes remained glued to your face nonetheless. "that was a crime."

she continued aggressively and violently tapping on her phone, her lips in a straight line as she glared down at the screen.

"that stupid owner's lucky i'm not pressing charges," she mumbled, and it sounded as though she were speaking more to herself than to you. you couldn't blame her — that was also a nasty accusation against your friend.

as she furiously pressed at her phone, shooting yuji a glare when he dared to laugh at her expression, your own device vibrated against the table, drawing your attention. the screen lit up with a new notification, the small preview showing a subject line that immediately caught your eye: Regarding Your Recent Inquiry.

you grabbed the phone, your heart beating dramatically against your chest as you read the sender's name — kento nanami.

"guys, kento just emailed me," you mumbled, opening it up before rapidly averting your gaze, slamming your phone back down onto the table with a gasp, face down. "it's about the tutor thingy. quick! guess who it is!"

yuji sat up, scratching the skin behind his ear. "it has to be megumi."

you raised a brow. "kento said —"

"i know what he said," yuji cut through you with a shrug. "but megumi's one of the best in the class. why would he give you anyone else when you're so bad at math?"

you considered that for a moment: yuji had a fair point.

he had unexpectedly gone on:

"like, sooooo bad. hopeless. like super-duper, really, incredibly —"

you tried to kick him beneath the table, but he predicted your attack and hurriedly took back his long, outstretched legs.

"shut up," you snapped, annoyed. your eyes darted to nobara, who had long since abandoned her phone now. "what about you?"

she twirled a strand of her short hair, lips pursed as she thought aloud.

"mmm," she hummed, looking at the high ceiling. "god knows. probably megumi, but i'm gonna say maki."

that surprised you, and it clearly showed, for nobara felt the need to clarify her answer.

"it doesn't have to be someone from our class, right? mr nanami didn't set a limit except for the fact that it can't be megumi," she explained carefully. "and maki's only redeeming subjects, except for biology, is math."

that was a fair point too, you hadn't considered it.

"okay i'm gonna check now," you smiled. "i think it's gonna be ayesha, 'cause she's also super smart. and i'm not asking for your opinion, porcupine, 'cause you're still adamant about not tutoring me."

you didn't even look at him as he responded, your eyes on your phone.

"good," he'd said, his tone sharp and snippy.

———————————

Dear Y/n L/n,

I hope my email finds you well.

As discussed, I have decided who your tutor for Math will be. After careful consideration, I have chosen Noritoshi Kamo to be your tutor. Please ensure you comply and work with him to secure at LEAST a pass grade.

No, you may not request to have Megumi Fushiguro as your tutor, my decision is final.

Regards, Mr Nanami

———————————

you scowled.

"who the hell said i'd ask for megumi fushi-angry to be my tutor anyway?" you grumbled, nose scrunched.

you could feel megumi's piercing glare on the side of your cheek. you didn't care, for you had greater issues to deal with.

"noritoshi kamo," you told them, extending your arm across the table to show yuji and nobara (megumi had leaned in from her left) the email.

their pupils darted right to left and back again, several times as they travelled further down the screen. you watched them with furrowed brows, displeased.

"ah, i forgot about kamo," said yuji, eyes wide at the revelation. he combed his fingers through his hair, apparently in awe at the identity of your new tutor. "he's also top of the class... shit, how did i forget? he wasn't even studying for that one exam last year and still passed with an A."

"he let me copy off his homework a few times," you commented, looking down at your phone screen and then finally switching it off when it dawned on you: nonchalant, angry kamo was going to be your math tutor. you were unsure of what to make of that fact. "eh, could've been worse, right?"

you watched nobara carefully.

your mind still wondered back to the girl that kamo was supposedly interested in, and ruling yourself out of the picture for obvious reasons — like the fact that you barely ever spoke to one another — nobara and kamo shared quite a few classes together, the ones that you did not share with her.

and the fact that they'd gone to the same elementary school had also been a great supporting factor.

she didn't look too bothered by kamo being your tutor, her interest fleeting as she scowled at you.

"if he lets you copy," she began, critiquing him already, "how are you supposed to learn?"

you response was slow and careful, as though attempting not to set off a ticking time bomb. "in his defence, he wasn't my tutor at the time..."

nobara's brows furrowed, and her head tilted slightly as she stared at you, a look of genuine confusion present in her narrowed eyes, as if trying to decipher your thoughts telepathically. you held her gaze, watching as the quizzical spark in them flashed, mounting irritation beneath her clear curiosity.

yuji, seated across the table, shifted his gaze back and forth between you and nobara, clearly trying to gauge if this was just some elaborate joke or if he had missed something in the conversation. each movement of his head seemed more exaggerated, his mouth slightly ajar as if on the verge of asking a question, only to stop short each time, uncertain of what exactly to say. meanwhile, megumi sat beside you, his silence growing heavier with each passing second, and his expression (though blank) conveyed an almost palpable sense of bewilderment as he watched the exchange unfold, pink lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes, mirroring nobara's confusion, remained fixed on you.

"what?" nobara voiced, brows raised at you.

you shared one look with yuji before you let it all out:

"are you and kamo an item?"

and it was at that moment, you knew you should have communicated this to her in private, for her voice had travelled across every table in the large cafeteria, the sounds of movement slowing down, the chatter quieting down, the laughter absent.

"HUH?"

"it's not her," said megumi, sounding alarmed as he shrunk in his seat. he looked uncomfortable with the amount of eyes on your table, cheeks tinging pink as he pulled his shirt up to cover the lower half of his face. "it's tsumiki."

"tsumiki?" you whispered, stupefied. you looked up, suddenly aware of the hundreds of eyes on you and your friends, including kamo's, who was carelessly watching from the table across yours. you felt your neck warm as you lowered your voice even further. "would've been helpful if you said that earlier," you hissed.

and nobara...

nobara looked beyond offended.

perhaps not as much as she did when you'd intentionally mention @jujutsuhighships and their sudden post about her and malakai, but still offended enough to be taken seriously by the rest of you on that table.

"let me make one thing clear," she began, her gaze fiery, "i would never be attracted to that guy."

yuji shook his head, perplexed. "but you're rude to him," he said, his tone the epitome of bewilderment, as though trying to find the right pieces of a puzzle to put together.

nobara shot him a vicious look. you could have sworn you'd seen him cower slightly.

"i'm rude to you," she reminded him, venom dripping with each word, each syllable, each letter she uttered. "does that mean i like you? ew!"

"i thought..." mumbled yuji, brows contorted in doubt and uncertainty, "that girls... they're mean to the guys they like...?"

"well you thought wrong," nobara snapped angrily. she then pointed at megumi, expression borderline violent. "look at him! he's mean to everyone, does that mean he likes them?"

yuji frowned. "megumi's not a girl —"

"said no one ever," you coughed.

megumi wasted no time kicking you beneath the table. you shot him a fierce look, hitting him back with a clenched fist.

your gaze wandered back to kamo across the cafeteria, his steady eyes meeting yours just as you looked up, and you found yourself frowning, not out of embarrassment, but in silent self-reflection, realising that you had completely misread the situation with nobara. the thought of kamo and tsumiki together definitely seemed strange at first, an unlikely pair with her quiet warmth and his distant behaviour — but somehow, it was an arrangement that you supposed almost made sense.

almost.

it was still weird, no matter how many times you repeated it like a mantra in your own head.

there was a softness in his gaze as he looked away, and you found yourself reconsidering the assumptions you'd made.

it didn't matter anyway — you had to set up a tutoring session with him sooner or later, you concluded, silently standing up. might as well get it over and done with.

"i'll be right back," you told your friends casually.

"where are you going?" megumi questioned, looking mildly curious despite his attempts to look unbothered.

you gestured over to kamo's table.

"my new math tutor," you answered, before throwing megumi a scowl. "which isn't you by the way, 'cause you didn't wanna do anything about being my tutor."

megumi averted his gaze, absentmindedly turning his phone on and scrolling through random articles online while simultaneously jutting his chin in kamo's direction

"scuttle's waiting for you," he stated, bored.

you grabbed your schoolbag, feeling its heavy weight in your hand as you swung it towards megumi with just enough force to make him wince and raise an arm defensively. the thud echoed in the small space between you, and a faint, barely-there smirk pulled at your lips as you saw him grumble something under his breath, glaring up at you as though you had committed blasphemy.

tossing the bag back onto your seat with a casual flick, you straightened up, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, and cast a quick glance at kamo's table: he was sitting with chad, silently nodding every once in a while as the blonde spoke to him animatedly.

steeling yourself, you headed towards their table, and it was as though the two had sensed you drawing nearer, for both their heads had turned to face you, brows raised.

chad raised a hand; kamo did nothing.

"hey, y/n," said chad, watching you as you sat across him, a respectable amount of space between yourself and kamo. "what's up?"

you returned his look with a warm smile.

"not much, just needed to speak with kamo," you replied, letting your gaze shift over to kamo, catching his eye for a brief moment.

chad's thick brows rose, eyes widened like he'd finally put two complicated final pieces of a puzzle together.

"oh yeah, since he's your math tutor now," he added, flashing his friend a playful grin. "that's so cool, dude."

you raised a curious brow, tilting your head as you looked between the two of them, intrigued.

"ken— mr nanami told you?" you asked, eyes shifting back and forth as though searching their expressions for confirmation.

you were well aware of the email he'd sent to you, confirming that kamo would be your tutor, but you'd assumed that you were going to have to be the one to communicate that to kamo instead.

wow, you thought to yourself in your head, unsurprised. kento seriously had truly given the decision a lot of 'careful consideration'.

"he told me in business class yesterday," said kamo, shrugging.

your expression had shifted to one of delight.

"and you agreed?"

kamo's expression had remained unmoving. it reminded you of the face freeze episode from spongebob, except you were certain that kamo truly did not care about how careless he looked a hundred percent of the time.

"he said it'd give me extra credit," he told you honestly. "and i could put it down as volunteering hours in my college application."

your expression faltered, the initial excitement softening into something closer to resignation. though you appreciated kamo's honesty, you couldn't ignore the slight surprise that had tugged at you. his bluntness, while straightforward, was different from what you were used to with your friends like nobara or megumi. with them, bluntness came with familiarity; here, it felt different, but perhaps it was because of the fact that — reminding yourself of this once again — you had never properly held a conversation with the careless, unbothered boy.

chad, watching the exchange, shook his head with a small, bemused frown, apparently reading more into the situation than kamo seemed to have done.

"wow," you sighed, shaking your head in disappointment, "only for extra credit, and not 'cause a friend of a friend needs help?"

kamo raised a brow at you.

"friend of a friend?" he repeated.

helpfully, chad spoke up. "that's me, man."

kamo took one look at you and relented, pulling his phone out and sliding it over to you, eyes half-lidded.

"sure," he'd said, as you eyed the device warily. "put your number in, we can start tomorrow."

you picked up kamo's phone from the table, absentmindedly tilting your hands forward to inspect it. predictably, it was as bland as the boy who owned it — a plain navy case devoid of any distinguishing marks or personality, with a slightly scratched screen that suggested it had been dropped a few times but never enough to shatter. the wallpaper, visible for a fleeting second before the screen dimmed, was just black. not a minimalistic design, not a landscape or a photo— just the default black screen.

it felt fitting somehow, matching kamo's neutral demeanour.

you typed your number in with quick, efficient taps, and for a moment, you considered saving your contact with something clever, if only to spice up the device a little.

seriously, you thought to yourself, as you wrote your name in, it's worse than uncle ogi's.

you slid it back over, smiling at him when he picked it up, his brow twitching at your display name:

<kamotionless's student3

he didn't say anything, only looking at you as though you had grown two heads.

you watched kamo's expression, your grin only growing as a faint flicker of something crossed his otherwise stoic face; you weren't quite sure what it was, but you concluded that it had to be something in between irritation and intrigue.

feeling rather pleased with your handiwork, you leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms in quiet triumph, and chad, ever the instigator, leaned over to sneak a peek at the screen in kamo's hand. his amusement was infectious, and you couldn't help but join in, watching as kamo's brow furrowed ever so slightly — a rare crack in his expression.

"sorry, man, but she got you," laughed chad, as kamo merely slipped his phone into his pocket with a sigh, his lack of response betraying nothing but mild exasperation.

"my history class is cancelled tomorrow," said kamo, sitting up in his seat and peering back at you. "what about yours?"

"same," you nodded, trying to remember the layout of your timetable. it was still a new one that you had yet to properly get used to. "so before physics tomorrow?"

it was settled.

tomorrow, in the hour before physics, you'd have your first-ever tutoring session with kamo. the idea felt strangely weighty, though you couldn't quite pinpoint why. perhaps it was because of the fact that during cancelled sessions, the ones you shared with nobara would be spent with messing around in the girls' toilets, forcing your way into yuji's classes, reminding megumi how much you 'missed' him outside of his classes. it had never been spent studying with kamo.

regardless, you'd made up your mind to make it work, and as you stood to leave his table and go back to yours, being polite enough to wave at him and chad, you were surprised to find that you didn't quite dread the idea of noritoshi kamo being your new math tutor.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

the classroom was eerily quiet, save for the faint hum of fluorescent lights overhead and the occasional scratch of your pencil against paper. sunlight filtered weakly through the partially drawn blinds, casting slanted lines across the tiled floor and the battered desks around you.

you had taken an unoccupied classroom with kamo for your first tutor session, but only after discovering the library to be utterly useless — the librarian didn't enjoy partnered work that involved talking, evidently, so you'd silently taken your leave and discovered several empty classes to use.

kamo sat beside you, phone in hand, the muted glow of the screen reflecting on his impassive face. though his attention seemed fixed on whatever he was scrolling through, every few minutes, his gaze flickered towards your notebook, scanning the equations you were working on with a measured glance. it was a strange rhythm — the way he balanced distraction with diligence — but it seemed to work, his occasional corrections or affirming nods offering just enough guidance without breaking the silence.

you shifted in your seat, pausing for a moment to reread the problem before scribbling down your next attempt, but there was an itch somewhere in the back of your mind.

you were bored.

you could only so much math before your brain started hallucinating numbers and swirls on the floor where only the hard concrete should be.

eyeing the blank whiteboard, a lightbulb flickered on over your head.

"what if," you began, spinning the pencil in your hand, "you taught me all this stuff using the whiteboard?"

kamo placed his phone on the table dismissively. "no."

you sighed, brows furrowed and lips downturned ever so slightly.

"please?" you tried again.

and to your surprise, you watched as he let out a long sigh, apparently relenting to your demand, his hands gripping at the table as he pushed himself back, the creak of the chair against the floorboards scratching that pesky itch in your brain.

"kamo —" you began, unsure of what was happening before you.

"don't have second thoughts now," he said, picking up a red board-marker from the unoccupied desk and pulling off its lid.

you blinked in shock.

"i'm not!" you told him, sitting up in excitement as he actually wrote more equations for you to work through on the empty board. "i thought i'd have to persuade you a bit more... is all."

you watched his back, watched as one hand scribbled example demonstrations on the board as the other raised itself to scratch at his head, his silky hair tied in a low bun.

kamo turned around and tapped the board with the back of the pen.

"work through these and let me know if you're stuck... again," he'd told you, securing the lid on the pen with a satisfying click that sounded around the empty classroom.

again, you heard his voice repeat in your head, frowning as he peered back at you, expressionless.

"i'm sorry, were you expecting someone who already knew the content?" you shot back, your arms folded over the table as you leaned up to press your front against the edge. "and i asked you to teach me using the board, not just write a bunch of equations on there — i could do that any time i want."

kamo let out a deep, deliberate sigh, his shoulders rising and falling in a way that suggested equal parts reluctance and resignation. you waited patiently, his expression shifting ever so slightly, a faint flicker of annoyance crossing his otherwise unreadable features before settling back into his usual impassivity, and you could barely hold back the grin tugging at your lips, your excitement bubbling under your skin as you watched him turn back towards the board.

for a fleeting moment, you were convinced he was about to toss the marker aside and return to his seat, but instead, he raised it again and began writing more deliberately this time, the marker squeaking faintly against the smooth surface.

the realization hit you all at once: he was actually going to teach you just because you had asked. your heart leapt, and you sat up straighter, practically buzzing with anticipation. this was better than you'd hoped — who knew noritoshi kamo was such a people-pleased?

certainly not you.

he explained what he was doing as he went, putting you on the spot and asking you questions, going back to write on the board, highlighting your mistakes. it was as though you were having a one-to-one class with a genius.

he placed the marker back down on the desk when you had finally grasped the topic.

"had no idea you could be so compliant," you grinned, raising your brows teasingly.

kamo stared at you, inert and idle.

"don't say it like that," he told you, looking sullen. "i see the way you react when yuji doesn't listen to you," he added, pulling back the chair beside you to sit on it again. "i don't really want my hair pulled out of my scalp."

"oh i can tell," you laughed, eyeing his bun. "it looks healthier than half the girls' at the school. you take advice from nobara or something? you could give her a run for her money, y'know."

not that you'd ever tell her that.

kamo averted his gaze, some type of emotion you couldn't quite describe passing by his features quicker than you could pinpoint. he looked like he was remembering something almost traumatic.

"something like that," he settled on saying, his voice low and dismissive.

you picked up your pencil again, leaning over your notebook as the quiet settled back in, save for the soft scratch of graphite against paper. the equations in front of you demanded attention, but your mind wandered, replaying kamo's fleeting expression like a puzzle you couldn't quite solve.

the classroom itself, as you worked silently, felt heavy with the kind of quiet that wasn't entirely uncomfortable, just contemplative.

and yet, the stillness had been disrupted as kamo's voice cut through the air — low, casual, but carrying just enough curiosity to pull your focus back to him.

"ryan sent me some old post from that ship account."

you looked up, watching him show you his phone where his friend had, indeed, sent him a post from @jujutsuhighships.

you raised your brows in pleasant surprise, a grin tugging at your lips at the video playing before you. the account had taken what yuji had posted on twitter years ago and revived it a few months ago:

"toge!" yuji's enthusiastic voice sounded from the speakers on kamo's phone. he jammed the camera in middle-school-toge's face at the gym where the basketball players were having their first play of the season. "if you and y/n are together, does that — that makes me, like, your brother-in-law, right?"

toge shrugged. "sure."

and then the camera was a blur of motion, for yuji had whipped the camera around to find you, sitting on a bench beside nobara, who was sandwiched between yourself and megumi.

your brows raised in amazement: you had almost forgotten about nobara's dark hair, the natural colour she'd sported before eventually dying it to become something more brighter. you thought she looked flattering both ways.

"y/n, when did you and toge get together?" yuji called out loudly over the chatter, cheers, and laughter.

you made a face as though deep in thought. it was fake, you knew it, your friends knew it, but funnily enough, nobody else knew it.

"since elementary school," you said, throwing the camera a thumbs up.

"was that before or after he told everyone you were a mermai—"

"megumi!"

the video ended abruptly.

kamo looked at you expectantly, brow raised.

"don't look at me like that," you responded, looking mock abashed, drawing doodles in the corner of your notebook. "why's ryan sending you a video of me anyway?"

kamo shrugged.

"told the group chat i was gonna tutor you," he explained candidly. "some of them started digging old stuff back up. like this."

the realisation left a ripple of amusement bubbling in your chest, spreading to the corners of your lips as you tried to suppress a grin. you found it hilariously ironic that kamo's friends had taken on the role of internet detectives, and the thought of them collectively scouring old posts about you (there weren't many, you had to remember) and then tossing them into their group chat as if it were their sacred duty to find out who their friend was tutoring like you were some criminal, was almost endearing.

almost.

there was something undeniably funny about kamo, usually so reserved, being at the mercy of his friends' efforts to humiliate both him and, indirectly, you. it wasn't lost on you that they'd essentially done his homework for him — and you didn't mind, especially when it meant revisiting moments that always confused everyone around you, for the relationship between toge and yourself was non-existent — not that anyone who had asked knew that fact, of course.

"is it true?" kamo had asked, the video replaying in the background again.

you threw him a smile, swirling the end of your pencil around his face teasingly.

"wouldn't you like to know?" you hummed, before chuckling at his scowl. "nah, just kidding. it's true."

he raised a sceptical brow at you. you leaned in, cupping you mouth as though anyone else were in the room to hear you.

"it's not, we just leave it unspoken 'cause it confuses people," you whispered lowly, before pressing your back against your chair again, beaming at him. "it's true! toge and i have been a thing for years now!"

kamo looked visibly confused. it only made you laugh harder.

"you're smart," you voiced, spinning the pencil in your hand, unaware. "who do you think is behind that ship account?"

kamo's gaze drifted upwards, a subtle furrow in his brow, tapping a finger lightly on the table, slouching in his chair. his expression didn't give much away — calm and composed as always — but the faint narrowing of his eyes suggested he was running through possibilities, weighing each name and motive like a detective in a silent deliberation.

"no idea," he finally replied, untroubled.

you furrowed your brows at him, unimpressed.

"that was anti-climactic."

he shrugged. "they're good at remaining anonymous, whoever they are."

you hummed in response, agreeing, the corners of your mouth twitching in subtle amusement.

it made sense, after all — whoever was behind the account clearly knew how to stay hidden, and there was something oddly impressive about their ability to remain anonymous despite the chaos they stirred. you found yourself intrigued by their cleverness, even if you'd never admit it aloud, and you wondered, just for a moment, if the person running it might be someone you knew better than you realised.

you were unsure of how you'd react if it happened to be one of your friends.

"well i know who it can't be," you said, serious.

kamo glanced at you expectantly; you looked fixedly back at him.

"malakai," you stated confidently.

kamo rolled his eyes, his shoulders deflating.

"who would have thought?" he responded sarcastically, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"certainly not you, 'cause you were waiting for my response," you jested, biting your inner cheeks to hide your obvious grin.

"whoever they are," kamo began, sounding solemn, "they've got a shit ton of haters. someone's gonna unmask them soon."

you laughed at his sombre expression. "you say it like it's a prophecy." though arguably, you concluded in your head, kamo sported a grave look under any circumstance. "they seem pretty tame though, nothing wild has happened yet."

"define 'wild'."

your thoughts wandered for a moment, trailing after his question.

what even defined 'wild' in this context?

you supposed it would mean some kind of messy fallout — maybe public confrontations or friendships shattered over a cleverly edited video. but as far as you knew, the ship account seemed to toe a fine line, thriving off drama without pushing it into complete chaos. it made up theories, sure, but would always make sure to mention in the captions whether it was true or not, whether it was alleged or not.

it was a curious balance, really, and you found yourself marveling at their ability to walk that tightrope. but perhaps 'wild' wasn't about what had happened yet, rather what could happen, and you couldn't help but imagine how thin that line might grow before someone, inevitably, fell.

"something unbelievable," you explained out loud. "something so crazy, no one would believe it. like, information that's almost certain to be false."

"so... you and tog—"

"— lower your voice —" you hissed, looking over your shoulder with wide eyes.

"— there's no one in this room but us —"

"still!"

kamo had raised his hands up in faux surrender. "right, my bad."

you looked around again.

indeed, the classroom was empty, but the whole toge-and-you situation had been running strong for years. you couldn't risk it being ruined by kamo's big mouth.

once you were certain of security, you nodded at him to continue.

"so you and toge?" he repeated, but this time, with a voice you could only catch by leaning in.

"but that's believable," you argued calmly, the pencil in your hand spinning with ease. "even you believed it."

kamo shook his head. "i didn't."

you grinned, smug. "you believed it enough to ask me about it, no?"

he averted his gaze, a silent movement of defeat.

"fair point," he stated, making your grin widen as your pencil spun faster between your fingers.

what he had said next, however, had resulted in multiple things happening at once.

"what about you and i?"

your pencil had fallen from between your fingers, clattering and rolling on the floor.

your breath caught for a moment, an involuntary reaction to his question, which hung in the air like a spark waiting to ignite.

a wave of warmth had surged up, pooling at the tips of your ears, a sensation both startling and unfamiliar. it wasn't embarrassment, exactly, you never felt that (with the sole exception of toji reminding you of how as a child, you strongly believed he was fat and not just buff) but something closer to a jolt of disbelief, as if his words had landed in a place you hadn't anticipated being struck. your fingers instinctively twitched towards the pencil that had slipped from your grasp, a physical reflex to anchor yourself against the ripple of surprise coursing through you.

for a heartbeat, you were rendered motionless, your mind fumbling over how to respond, caught between brushing it off and examining the peculiar weight his words carried...

or if they carried any weight at all. what if you were just reading too much into his suggestion? what if you were just being overly dramatic?

because kamo seemed just fine.

kamo looked as though he had just asked you about the weather forecast tomorrow. kamo did not seem as stupefied as you.

in fact, kamo looked as though he'd been startled by your reaction, as if it wasn't explainable.

and maybe it wasn't.

or perhaps it was.

you weren't so sure anymore.

he was the first to break the tense silence.

"it's a possibility," he'd said. again, speaking like it was an everyday topic, common knowledge, like one plus one equals two. "we'll be spending more time together with all this tutoring."

"yeah..." you mumbled, dazed.

your hands had flown up to your ears, and you kept it like that as you spoke, ignoring the odd look he'd sent you.

"it'd be crazy weird, actually," you said, reminding yourself of the fact that since you and tsumiki were like family, a rumour or crack-ship between yourself and kamo would be wrong on so many levels.

kamo was staring at your hands, brows furrowed slightly, but just enough to form a crease between them, showcasing his visible confusion.

"why are you —"

"oh, this?" you chortled, shrugging. his voice sounded muffled. "fall's coming soon. what do you think of me in earmuffs?"

and kamo had only tilted his head slightly, his bewilderment evident in the way his gaze flickered between your hands and your face, his lips parting as if he wanted to ask yet another question, but thought better of it.

"i —"

you interrupted him, panicked and hurried, for the warmth in your ears had not died down yet for some odd reason. it was too late to consider the fact that he would definitely not have noticed that you were slightly confounded if you hadn't rushed to stop the heat beneath your skin.

"i'd look great, right?" you beamed, unsure of why you just kept talking. "earmuffs and leg warmers, too!"

"i can't tell... your hands are in the way —"

"yeah... i'm using them as a visual..."

he didn't push after that, but his silence only heightened your awareness of the absurdity of your reaction. you could feel the tension pooling in the air, your heart beating just a little faster than it had any right to. his confusion mirrored your own internal turmoil, and yet, he seemed to take it all in stride, waiting for you to drop the act without pressuring you to explain yourself. you did not know what was happening, for the fluttering unease in your chest left you feeling strangely exposed, like a glass case filled with nerves and no cover.

the awkward moment stretched, then snapped as you both seemed to silently agree to let it pass.

clearing your throat, you busied yourself by retrieving your fallen pencil and opening your notebook. thankfully, kamo followed suit, his focus sliding back to the equations sprawled across the page, though he occasionally shot you a few glances. you told yourself it was to make sure that you weren't making any mistakes in your notebook, but you did not know how much you believed in that.

but by the time you had solved the next equation, it was as if the strange exchange had never happened, even though a faint trace of warmth lingered at the edges of your thoughts.

the hour had passed quicker than expected, and before you knew it, you and kamo were making your way to satoru's physics class.

it was convenient, for you had bumped into megumi along the way and hadn't even noticed it. not until he had — very elegantly — called out to you.

"oi, mermaid."

you whipped around on the spot, your expression sour as you glared at the tall boy standing by his locker with furrowed brows. from your peripheral vision, you could see that kamo had also halted.

"stop acting like a hood-rat and address a lady properly, porcupine," you scolded, eyeing him up and down with visible irritation.

"you answered though —"

"— and stop trying to act smart —"

"— it wasn't an act —"

"okay i'm leaving," you snapped, turning away and walking off. "c'mon, kamo."

you strode past him, internally pleased when he silently followed, and despite yourself, you still kept an ear out to listen to whatever your friend had to say.

"come to the open game next week," you heard megumi utter lowly. "you won't get kicked out this time 'cause your entry is authorised."

you turned around and gave him a thumbs up, your eyes narrowed due to the nickname he'd shamelessly given you in front of kamo. that had to be addressed at some point. megumi couldn't throw that around so carelessly anymore.

"i'll see you there, porcupine!" you responded brightly, walking off with kamo and tilting your head up to meet his gaze when he had remained staring down at you in mild curiosity. "what?"

"you ever gonna tell anyone what mermaid means?" he asked you, and the speed at which your expression had turned stony would beat record time.

"i'm taking it to my grave."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

satoru leaned against the doorframe of his classroom with his usual playful smile that showcased his effortless confidence, exuding an air of relaxed authority.

his tall frame cast a faint shadow over the polished floor, and the sunlight filtering through the windows seemed to catch on the edges of his stark white hair. both his arms rested at his sides where his hands had been shoved into the pockets of his pants, looking more relaxed than any teacher should.

the faintest hint of amusement curled at the corners of his mouth, acknowledging the steady stream of students entering with a faint nod or tilt of his head.

"melody, i see that piece of gum in your mouth," he commented slyly.

the student in question paused and threw a look at him, her shoulders drooping in disappointment as she started towards the small trashcan near his desk.

"don't spit it out," he said, watching her shake her head at him and walk over to her seat instead.

"what was the point of even saying that?" she mumbled, but she looked relieved nonetheless, dropping her bag onto the floor as she pulled herself forward in her stool.

satoru merely shrugged, turning back to the other sets of students entering the classroom.

"hey sir!"

"hi mr gojo."

"afternoon, sir."

"noah," satoru beamed, watching as the tall boy grinned up at him. "no liam today?"

"he's getting yelled at by miss utahime," noah answered with a laugh, pointing at the hallway behind him.

satoru's brows rows in surprise, though he did not look as though he expected anything less.

"'course he is," he chuckled, shaking his head with a toothy grin. "i'd go and save him, but i'd probably walk into a singing session."

the students gathered near the door burst into laughter at his casual jab at the other teacher. a couple of students exchanged knowing looks, clearly in on the running joke, while others shook their heads with amused disbelief at their teacher's brazen sense of humour, and satoru — entirely unfazed — wore an exaggeratedly innocent expression, as though he had no idea what could possibly be so funny.

his toothy grin had only started to falter and dim when he looked down the hallway, expecting to see noah and utahime, but met with the sight of you and kamo walking in together.

his head had followed you, doing a full one-eighty as you smiled at him and made your way to the table closest to his desk.

"hey, satoru," you'd causally greeted him, unaware of the twitch of his right eye when you invited kamo over to sit with you instead of the stool in dim corner at the other end of the classroom he usually sat in.

satoru broke the fourth wall with a grimace.

the only thing that stopped him from staring off into the distance, with that disgusted, annoyed look on his face, was yuji's voice, low and confused, speaking right into his teacher's ear.

"gojo?"

he slowly averted his gaze from the fourth wall to meet his student's eyes, wide with confusion and concern.

"what were you staring at?" yuji asked, his own eyes darting back off into the distance — once, twice, thrice — before looking up at satoru with curious, raised brows.

satoru only shook his head, kicking the door-stopper away and allowing the door to close behind him as he walked over to his desk, apparently disgruntled.

"nothing," he mumbled, jutting his chin at the vacant seat on your table, across from you and next to yuko ozawa, his grin slowly returning. "sit down, i have an announcement."

yuji's face fell instantly, his eyes widening in sheer disbelief as if he had just been hit with the worst news imaginable. you furrowed your brows at him as his shoulders visibly stiffened, his hand gripping at the edge of the desk as though steadying himself against some invisible force.

for a brief, comical moment, he looked utterly horrified, his mouth opening slightly before snapping shut again, leaving him in silent turmoil. you thought he looked like your pet goldfish that had tragically died years ago, as the rest of the classroom bustled with their usual chatter, oblivious to the small storm of emotions brewing in yuji's head.

"what the hell's wrong with you?" you voiced, but it did not seem to compute to your friend, who only seemed interested in your teacher.

"a surprise pop quiz again?" he said, which had sent a ripple of whispers around the classroom, everyone looking distraught.

the last time this had happened, it was because of yuji's movie suggestion to satoru, who ended up hating it so much, he assigned a surprise pop quiz for everyone as retribution. the class had yet to forgive yuji for even suggesting anything to your overly-dramatic teacher.

everyone was holding their breath, as though breathing meant the chances of another surprise pop quiz would go up by a hundred. the relief had only settled in once satoru confirmed that there was, in fact, no pop quiz.

"don't be so dramatic," he'd said, leaning against his desk with a lazy grin, only causing you to stare back at him, deadpanned. the irony, you thought to yourself silently. "you can all breathe now," he continued, an air of indifference surrounding him. "there's no surprise pop quiz."

if you hadn't been sitting right in front of him, you would have missed what he'd grumbled under his breath:

"but i was considering it."

he had moved on from the topic so quickly, his mood bright and cheery again, that you thought you might have imagined it.

satoru picked up a marker from the mess of pens on his desk and walked over to his large whiteboard, writing in block capitals — NEW SEATING PLAN!!!

with a smiley face at the end, of course.

"new seating plan?" liam read out, sounding incredulous.

everyone's heads had collectively turned to the door he had just walked through. he raised his brows at satoru, lost.

"but you always let us sit where we want," he added, as several other students voiced their agreement all at once.

satoru pointed at the empty stool next to noah, nodding.

"you're filling me in on what happened with miss utahime by the way," he'd said, as liam sat next to his friend, bag discarded on the floor, kicked beneath the lab table. satoru stared back at his writing on the board, as though staring at the mona lisa for the first time. "relax, it's nothing too bad. you guys —"

fhere was a sudden clatter from beneath the sink, loud enough to draw everyone's attention.

malakai had emerged, his head bumping the underside of the counter in his haste, his wide, alarmed eyes fixed on the board, expression a mixture of disbelief and dread, with his mouth slightly open as though he'd just witnessed something catastrophic.

there was a panicked stillness as he stared at the words, as if the announcement alone had thrown his entire existence into question.

satoru threw him a look.

"get back under the table, kai, it doesn't apply to you," he'd said, sounding just slightly exasperated.

malakai exhaled sharply, his shoulders dropping in visible relief as he scrambled back beneath the sink, head disappearing into the shadows of the cabinet, but not before he muttered something unintelligible to himself.

you could tell (from the faint shuffling sounds) it was clear that he was adjusting himself, settling in as though reclaiming a familiar sanctuary, the earlier panic melting away with every movement.

your eyes drifted back to your teacher's face as he continued:

"anyway, what was i saying? oh yeah — you guys have seating plans in your other classes, right?"

he nodded at rana afzal, who had her arm raised with a frown.

"we do, but we hate it," she'd said, looking worried, "and i like my seat."

"me too."

"yeah, same."

satoru made his way over to your table, wriggling his brows when you met his gaze through his sunglasses. he tilted his head down, and if it hadn't been for those ridiculous, opaque lenses, you would have noticed him glancing between you and kamo, calculating.

"y/n!" he beamed, too enthusiastic for your liking.

"that's me," you agreed, suspicious.

he leaned down, resting his elbow on your table, pointing at kamo, who did not look the slightest bit fazed.

"do you like sitting next to him?" he asked you casually.

you looked at kamo. it had barely been five minutes since you had sat next to him. there wasn't much to judge based on that.

yet you had spent the last hour learning how to solve quadratic equations with him, which also required sitting next to him, and he had been perfectly fine then.

there was no reason not to like sitting next to him. kamo kept to himself, and when he spoke, it was easy to speak back despite never having actually spoken to him prior to any tutoring sessions.

"yeah," you answered, as satoru's toothy grin remained stagnant on his face, "i like sitting next to —"

"no you don't! kamo, move over there," satoru swiftly interrupted, his tone bright and his voice resounding.

expression hardening, you followed his long, pointer finger, growing more annoyed and murderous when you realised he was expecting kamo to go trot back to his original seat, the stool on the table at the other end of the class closest to the door.

unlike you, kamo had no complaints, silently getting up to leave, though he held no care to tuck in his stool.

you watched him leave with furrowed brows.

"what was the point of asking me if i liked sitting next to him if you move him straight after?" you demanded, staring up at the man-child, who only seemed to relish in your irritation towards him, as though he thrived on being such a bother to people.

arguably, that was exactly what he did.

"it was a test," he answered dismissively, waving a hand at you before walking over to his desk to grab the board-marker eraser. "you failed."

he swiped his writing away, and once that had been done, he haphazardly threw the eraser at his desk, uncaring of the mess of pens that rolled straight off, clashing against the floor, one after the other.

"and everyone else can stay where they are, permanently!" satoru added, emphasising the long word by elongating it as he spoke. he looked around at everyone as he brought up the powerpoint for the lesson. "see? not so bad! you guys were crying over nothing!"

you glared at him. "you —"

"o-kay! moving on: kinematics!"

the classroom fell into an awkward, buzzing silence, students exchanging puzzled looks and darting glances satoru, who had so dramatically upended their expectations. a few of them leaned closer to their neighbours, mouths cupped as they muttered their confusion, while others simply gawked at the absurdity of the seating plan satoru had so confidently announced.

your own patience frayed further with every passing second.

was this truly the extent of his grand idea? just moving kamo and leaving it at that? your annoyance simmered, a steady undercurrent beneath your feigned calm, as you watched satoru bask in the tranquil chaos he'd caused, utterly unbothered by the confusion he'd left in his wake as he pulled up a number of recap slides to jog everyone's memory of kinematics.

it hadn't been a plan — it wasn't even order.

it was satoru gojo doing whatever satoru gojo wanted, as always.

"sir," a boy, connor hayes, had raised his arm, looking desperate.

satoru raised his brows at him, acknowledging his arm and silently encouraging him to speak.

"can i switch seats?" he asked, looking very uncomfortable where he sat.

you couldn't blame him — the girl on his left reminded you of veera from elementary school. the thought of her nearly made you gag again.

a trauma response, you decided, shivering.

satoru adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, looking at connor with a faintly raised brow, as though weighing the boy's predicament with theatrical seriousness. the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, betraying his internal amusement.

you already predicted his response, and found yourself feeling bad for the poor boy.

your teacher leaned back against his desk with the easy grace of someone who thrived on moments like these, his grin widening to a playful smirk. it was the look of a man who had no intention of making anyone's day easier, though his demeanour suggested otherwise.

behind those opaque glasses, there was no mistaking the sheer delight he took in the chaos he had just stirred.

"you picked your seat," satoru reminded him.

"yeah, but..." connor began, hesitating, "but i didn't know it was gonna be permanent."

satoru turned back to the board with a smile. "you'll live. so! remember this formula: u is the initial velocity, a is the acceleration, and t is the —"

"but you only moved one person, sir!"

the white-haired idiot looked at connor with his usual toothy smile, but you could tell, he did not seem pleased with the interruption. it was written over his face, and having known him for as long as you had, reading his expressions — even while he held up that mask of joy — was easy as pie.

again, you could not believe the irony here, for satoru constantly enjoyed interrupting and talking so much, just to hear the sound of his own voice.

your eyes found kamo's.

he didn't look too bothered.

you felt annoyed on his behalf regardless.

"you can move seats," said satoru, taking connor by surprise. you knew there was a catch, of course there was a catch: it was satoru. "... outside of the class!"

the hope on connor's face had fallen just as soon as it had arrived.

"but —"

"all right, if you aren't outta here by the time i take this blindfold off..." satoru explained, digging into his drawer and pulling out a thin, black blindfold which he began wrapping around his head, his white hair standing up as he tied and secured it at the back.

he looks like a pineapple, you thought to yourself bitterly.

your classmates began collectively speaking:

"why does he casually just... have a blindfold on him?"

"yeah, it's... creepy...?"

"what the hell?"

"the CDE needs to see this —"

despite his vision being completely obscured, satoru's head had snapped sharply towards the student who had voiced this concern, his jaw tightening visibly as the faint tick of tension rippled through his otherwise stoic expression.

"my favourite party game just so happens to be pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey," he stated, looking disgusted. "stop trying to sabotage your good looking teacher for no reason, giselle."

the longer he spoke, the more your mind churned with irritation.

you had expected something more from the seating plan, a real seating rearrangement, perhaps, something that would have made sense. there was, you noted, as the class went on despite the silent anger you wallowed in, no reasoning behind it.

he was a petty man, you understood that, but never to his own students. he enjoyed teaching his classes; his students enjoyed being in his classes. so what, you pondered to yourself, inquisitive, did satoru have against kamo?

nothing, probably, you had finally decided with a frown.

in fact, you'd probably done something to make him react such a way. he had a history of pulling tricks from out of his sleeve whenever someone did something to him (like when shoko told suguru of his minor rivalry against mimiko and nanako, which then resulted in satoru setting her up on a blind date with a cessation specialist).

across the classroom, your gaze flickered to kamo, still seated in that corner, jotting down notes as satoru continued droning on.

you couldn't help but notice how he was still indifferent towards the whole thing. had it been you in his position, you would have threatened to report satoru for teacher bias (never actually going through with it, of course).

trying to bridge the gap between the two of you, you leaned forward, intent on catching his attention, but as you opened your mouth to speak, satoru shifted, stepping deliberately into your line of sight.

his height, as always, created an impenetrable barrier between yourself and kamo.

and he had the audacity to throw you a wink when you made another attempt by moving to the other side instead.

he remained positioned in front of the dark haired boy, blocking your view and rendering your efforts completely futile.

frustration simmered again as you tried to focus past satoru's towering figure, but kamo remained an elusive enigma, hidden from you in plain sight.

and that was exactly how the rest of the class had gone, with satoru making quite sure that communication between the two of you would be so difficult to manage because of him, that in the end, you'd give up entirely.

and you did.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

"any of you need a ride home after your extracurriculars? i'm going round the block to drop something off at suguru's."

"yeah."

"yeah, thanks gojo!"

"i call shotgun, losers."

"no."

the others turned to look at you, eyebrows raised in surprise at the sharpness of your tone, unsure whether you, usually bubbly and bright, meant to sound that harsh.

satoru's office, typically cluttered with papers and half-empty coffee cups, had become an impromptu hangout space for the four of you after classes. despite the looming end of the school day, none of you were heading home just yet.

megumi and yuji were going to football practice, the usual post-school ritual of sweaty drills, nobara had cheerleading, and as the second-in-command, had a lot of demands to meet, and you had theatre practice, a particularly important session where the layout for the coming weeks would be addressed in.

satoru leaned against the edge of his desk, feet propped up on the worn wooden surface, a casual, almost disinterested look on his face as he watched the four of you interact. the chaos of after-school activities would soon break the temporary stillness, but for now, the office was a brief haven.

except for the part where it belonged to him, paired with the fact that you were still pissed off with his behaviour from earlier on in the day.

"drop the attitude," said satoru, wearing his trademark grin that only made you want to specifically carve out his dimples with a blunt fork. your furrowed your brows at him. "or... i'll set you extra homework —"

"if you keep abusing your power, i'll tell toji to beat you up."

he laughed at that.

heartily, even.

it only served to anger you some more.

"that piece of rotisserie is against us both," he reminded you with another chuckle.

"watch it," megumi mumbled.

if you were in a better mood, you would have teased him for jumping to his dad's defence.

satoru continued as though he hadn't heard him:

"you think he's gonna take your side?" he questioned you, brow raised.

you hated that he had a fair point. you were still going to push aside your pride and demand toji to beat him to a pulp. it benefited the both of you, toji wouldn't be able to turn down the offer unless his wife told him otherwise.

but you knew something that would dig deep into his broad chest and slice through his playful heart.

"i might just form an alliance with him," you shot back, feeling satisfaction bloom in your chest and blossom to its fullest, feeling it run through your blood like adrenaline as you watched his expression fall, jaw clenched and teeth gritted, betrayal circling in his bright irises.

he had taken his glasses off almost immediately, communicating with you through just his eyes.

you understood every word he telepathically voiced, and that only made the gratification of seeing him so betrayed and frustrated even better.

"you guys are against each other?" said megumi, and you couldn't help but hear the delight oozing out of his voice, even if it was unclear to the general public.

nobara, sat on the chair beside him, nodded. "apparently," she'd said, watching you and the man-child — that was sitting underneath a stormy, black cloud at his desk — with narrowed eyes. "what happened? i'm on y/n's side by the way —"

"hey!" satoru scowled.

"oh, it's that thing from physics today!" said yuji, turning to megumi and nobara with wide eyes. "he gave us a new seating plan!"

megumi's eyes had darted from you to satoru and back again. "a seating plan?"

"i've heard enough," said nobara, a hand raised to stop yuji from going on when he'd parted his lips to clarify. "i'm definitely on y/n's side."

megumi's expression had shifted in an instant, the stagnant scowl he usually wore breaking under the weight of genuine surprise. you couldn't blame him: the words 'satoru' and 'seating plan' had never been put in the same sentence in all your years at high school so far.

watching the quiet sharpness he tended to sport flickering with faint incredulity, you couldn't help but feel a small pang of amusement despite your irritation: for someone who usually held his cards so close to his chest, the shock on his face was almost childlike.

"can't believe i'm saying this," he began, breaking his silence, "but what's wrong with a seating plan? it's the only thing he's ever done that actually makes sense."

satoru had been in the process of putting his glasses back on when megumi had voiced his thoughts. the second the dark haired boy had uttered the final word, satoru forgot about his glasses altogether, slamming them on the table as though he'd just experienced a petrifying epiphany.

"megumi... are you defending me?"

megumi's eyes had darkened significantly. "don't look so hopeful. i still think you're stupid."

satoru turned to yuji and nobara with a smile that practically screamed hopeful. "that didn't sound like denial to me..?"

megumi ignored him, turning to you and watching as you folded your arms over your chest and glared at the man sitting happily before you.

"you gonna answer my question or not?" he'd said bluntly, just as nobara scolded yuji for leaning over her head to high-five satoru ('if that's how you treat girls, you're never gonna get one!').

"he literally only moved kamo," you informed him, and at megumi's brow raise, you added more. "...away from me. and then called it a day."

megumi's gaze lingered on you, his brows slightly knitted together, a subtle tilt to his head betraying his confusion. it wasn't the overt, wide-eyed sort of bewilderment, but rather the quiet kind — like he was piecing together a puzzle in his mind and coming up short.

"he's got this personal vendetta against him for some reason, which makes no sense 'cause kamo's just... kamo," you explained, shrugging. "he doesn't even do anything! even you like him, porcupine, and you act like you hate everyone."

megumi scowled down at the back of nobara's head when she had jolted forward in her seat to hit yuji again, which resulted in the chair kicking itself upwards in front of him. he stepped back hastily.

"kamo's tolerable," he agreed, nodding.

"ow— nobara, what the hell?" yuji groaned, causing both you and megumi to looked up and focus on the commotion occurring in front of you:

yuji was rubbing his arm with a pained expression, nobara sitting back with a proud look on her face, her hands holding onto the arms of the chair, as though preparing to launch another attack, before yuji retreated to the other side of the desk, next to satoru.

"hey, who's that?" he asked, leaning down and zeroing in on a small picture frame standing tall on the left corner of satoru's desk. its back was to you, so you had not a single clue on what image he was looking at.

satoru sat up in his chair, leaning forward with a sharp, confident tilt to his posture that instantly put you on edge. had it been any other day, where you could confidently say that you weren't arguing, you would have felt more at ease.

his grin was wide, almost wolfish, the kind that made it clear he was up to something. there was a mischievous glint in his pale blue eyes that shimmered like sunlight on broken glass — deceptive and dangerous. you could practically feel the cocky energy radiating off him, a smugness that seemed to fill the small, messy room.

"that," he began, staring down at the frame with a proud smile, "is my daughter."

all of you froze.

nobara was the first to break the silence.

"you had a daughter with your situationship?" she demanded, sounding furious and looking uncaring of the fact that satoru's smile had fallen at how she'd addressed it. "how come none of us knew?"

"it's not a situationship," he grumbled boyishly. he sounded tired of reiterating it every time. "we're married —"

"hey, she looks like someone," yuji commented, pointing at the frame with a small frown. he looked at the frame, then at satoru, then back at the frame again. he was probably comparing the two. "not like you, though, gojo... are you sure you're the d—"

"yes i'm the dad," he interrupted, brows furrowed in offence.

mock offence, almost.

"stop being greedy and show us already, yuji," said nobara, leaning forward and taking the frame to rest on her lap.

and the second you'd seen the actual image, you burst out laughing.

the frame held an image so absurdly out of character that it was almost magical in its hilarity: a young megumi, no older than one or two, dressed head-to-toe in pink.

glitter sparkled across his small cheeks, and his hair was adorned with delicate bows in pastel colours, framing his sullen expression. a barbie doll was clutched awkwardly in one of his tiny hands, the other holding winx club's flora, as though someone had thrust it upon him mid-tantrum, and the background was equally as ridiculous — a bed draped with ruffled pink sheets and surrounded by an army of plushies. you could see the big, pale hands that were holding his sides, and you knew immediately they belonged to satoru, who had been holding him upright for the picture to be taken.

you erupted into laughter so violently it doubled you over, the sound spilling out of you uncontrollably, and when nobara looked up at you in confusion, you held the frame next to megumi's face, and she had quickly followed suit, her own voice cutting through the air with shrill, unrelenting cackles.

you'd dropped the frame into her arms again as you gasped for breath, and she clutched it to her chest as though it was a priceless artifact, her fingers tightening their grip every time megumi made a move towards her.

his face had turned a deep shade of crimson, brows knitting together as he stood abruptly, trying to snatch the picture away.

"give it here," he demanded, his tone sharp like knives.

when nobara had continued to hold it at all four corners, his eyes had glinted dangerously at satoru, who threw him a cheeky wink.

"i'm going to punch you," megumi had threatened dangerously, growing more and more visibly agitated at the way you had bent down and held the arm of nobara's chair to hold yourself up.

satoru whistled lowly. "that's not very lady-like of you."

megumi turned away abruptly. "i'm leaving —"

"no, no!" you choked, trying, and failing to pull yourself up and stand properly. "no — stop, por— porcupine, we're only kidding! it's not funny..."

megumi ignored you, grabbing his schoolbag and making his way to the door.

"ah, megumi, don't leave just yet," said satoru, eyeing you carefully. "y/n's not off the hook either."

your stomach twisted as satoru's words settled into the air, heavy with an implication you couldn't quite place.

each second stretched into an eternity, and the laughter that had shaken your chest only moments ago felt like a distant memory, replaced by a crawling unease. your heart thumped against your ribs as you tried to decipher what he meant, your mind running through every embarrassing interaction, every minor misstep he could possibly exploit.

but the way his smile had widened only deepened your dread, like he was savouring the power of knowing something you didn't, and then he pulled something out from the drawer attached to his desk.

it was another frame.

you shifted your weight from foot to foot, the tension growing unbearable, as though the ground beneath you might suddenly give way.

karma, you scolded yourself in your head, as he turned the frame around with unmistakeable pride:

it was a titled, angled image of you and megumi at some point in first grade, in the middle of running away from home, each of you holding a bindle; yours a spotted pink, his a spotted red, staring up at the camera looking equally grumpy and distraught.

you remembered that day like it was yesterday.

it was nobara's easy laughter that had you drawing your eyes away from the image, your cheeks feeling hot with anger.

"cut it out," you'd snapped, walking over to try and knock it off the desk, but yuji had skilfully leaped forward, holding onto the frame and keeping it in place, his own sniggering loud enough to make you grit your teeth in irritation.

"look at the back of your heads!" he guffawed, eyes watering as his knuckles turned white with each second that went by you were trying to snatch the frame away.

you were failing, and threw him a sharp look.

"back of our heads?" you repeated, confused, for the photo before you displayed an almost bird's eye view of your fronts. "what do you mean? it's us looking up at the camera."

"what?" said nobara, her pale cheeks pink as she heaved out another breath. "it's — it's neither of those... it's the two of you — oh my god that's so funny — it's the two of you looking down at the camera."

you squinted at the frame again, leaning in closer to examine it.

you were right: from your angle, it was unmistakably an image of you and megumi looking up at the camera, your little faces scrunched in identical, sullen expressions... and yet, the others seemed convinced it was something else entirely.

tilting your head slightly, you frowned, trying to see what they were seeing. the picture didn't seem to shift, at least not at first glance, but their laughter persisted, leaving you more puzzled than before. something about this photo wasn't adding up — and the confusion gnawed at you as you strained to make sense of the strange discrepancy.

but it was when you'd tilted the frame ever so slightly, in an innocent attempt to free it from yuji's iron grip, did you realise what the confusion was.

your gaze locked onto satoru's face — his infuriatingly smug, insufferably self-satisfied expression radiating a level of arrogance that made your blood boil and your glare sharpen into a cold, piercing intensity, each imaginary dagger you hurled from your eyes aimed with the precision of someone whose patience had been thoroughly, utterly obliterated.

"it's a goddamn lenticular hologram," you spat, tone laced with venom.

as expected, yuji and nobara both moved their heads this way and that, trying to look at the different angles of the same image, even despite your stubborn protests.

megumi, who had been lingering by the door, scowled.

"that's what you spend your money on?" he commented, sounding disgusted and incredibly unimpressed.

satoru shrugged carelessly.

"pocket money," he corrected. "when you're as rich as me, this is barely a dent on my bank account."

"hey, scrappy-doo," you called out to megumi, looking at him from over your shoulder, "are you gonna — nobara! stop! — are you gonna help me take this frame or just — ow, my hand! — just stand there and be useless? shit, that hurts!"

megumi did not appreciate your tone nor the choice of name you'd given him. he was not as useless as that dog (perhaps the only dog he'd ever criticise in his lifetime).

he threw you a glare of his own, though he'd realised that the value of it had practically diminished with how often he seemed to use it on you.

"don't look at me like that," you snapped, annoyed. "you're the one who suggested running away to begin with!"

megumi's cheeks had become slightly less pale. he did not like how many eyes were focused on him now. he did not like a lot of things about them: a creepy pair looked amused, another pair seemed shocked, and another pair was round with curiosity.

every single one of them, however, wanted to laugh.

he could tell.

"that's not true," he denied lowly, glowering when yuji had only chuckled harder.

your eyes had widened, the shock of his blatant lie enough to have you release the frame and stand up straighter, gawking at him in stupefaction.

"you're a fat liar, porcupine!" you gasped, disbelief written all over your face and words. "you said we should run away when everyone laughed at us for —"

"take her word for it," megumi interrupted, turning away again, dismissive, "or don't. i don't care. you know who the serial liar is in this room."

you opened your mouth, words sharp and ready to lash back at megumi's dismissal, the heat of indignation coursing through your veins as the retort had begun forming on the tip of your tongue.

but before you could let loose, a crisp knock on the door echoed through the room, silencing the chaos instantly.

it cut through the laughter and tension like a blade, commanding attention and replacing the charged air with a sudden stillness. satoru let out a loud groan, throwing his head back and sighing like a child being reminded of bedtime.

"it's probably negative nancy again," he said, tone clipped as he sat up and placed his glasses on his nose again, expression dull. "come in!"

but instead of the sour-faced teacher who frequently barged in to scold satoru for his casual behavior, the door swung open to reveal kamo, his posture rigid, and his expression betraying only the slightest hint of surprise at your entire friend group being huddled inside the office.

"coach yaga said if yuji and megumi don't turn up to practice on time, he's gonna make everyone run ten laps around the field," he stated precisely, as though it had been rehearsed on the way. kamo's expression did not falter. "i don't wanna run ten laps around the field."

"ah," yuji groaned, standing up and scratching the back of his ear, "what time is it?"

"three-twenty-eight," nobara read from the clock on the wall opposite the display with several students' year book photos.

yuji hurriedly ran for the door, kamo cautiously flattening himself against it so as to not get tackled.

"we're gonna be late — bye guys!" you heard him call out, his voice carrying down the hallway.

megumi exchanged a glance with kamo, looking half annoyed with the ordeal that had occurred before kamo's entrance, and calmly made his way to the door.

kamo's eyes had gone past your friend's face to meet yours, nodding in acknowledgment.

"hi, y/n," he'd said, watching as you waved at him politely.

nobara sat up, her brows furrowing as she threw kamo an incredulous look; he was turning to leave with megumi.

"known him since elementary and there's no 'hi' for me," she said, brow raised as she faced forward again to meet satoru's calculative stare. "can you believe that? so rude."

the teacher nodded thoughtfully. "true, but you'd maul him if he spoke to you."

nobara scrunched her nose at him, displeased. "not an excuse, men used to go to war!"

you stepped towards the door, your gaze lingering on the retreating figures of the boys.

but your brows had begun knitting themselves together when you took note of megumi's deliberate distance from kamo — a space that seemed calculated, almost unnatural, as if he was ensuring they wouldn't be walking too closely. it wasn't the kind of distance borne out of casual walking, but something that felt purposeful: he'd never taken that precaution when walking side by side with yuji.

"you're going to football practice with a liar, by the way!" you called out to kamo, still heated about the untruth megumi had voiced so easily prior to kamo's appearance.

megumi did not look at you when he responded:

"don't you have swim practice to get to?"

you scrunched your nose at the back of his head, turning to satoru and nobara with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes.

"swim practice?" you repeated, puzzled. "what's he talking about? i don't do... i do theatre."

satoru and nobara were staring back at you with expressions so unrelentingly blank, it was almost unnerving. their eyes, however, told a different story — dancing with mischief and smug amusement, as though they were both in on a joke you weren't yet privy to.

nobara had raised an eyebrow, tilting her head ever so slightly, while satoru had leaned back in his chair, his arms folded lazily over his chest. they said nothing, letting the silence hang heavy, waiting for you to connect the dots.

your eyes widened as the realisation crashed over you like a tidal wave.

swim practice.

the words echoed in your mind, now dripping with mockery.

you clenched your fists, indignation flaring in your chest as you whipped around towards the door again, but by the time you lunged for it and yanked it open, all you caught was the faint echo of his footsteps disappearing down the hall.

too late.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

tsumiki stood near the school's community display board, carefully pinning a brightly coloured sign advertising the upcoming fall festival. the event, scheduled for late september, promised food trucks, games, and a student choir showcase.

her delicate fingers smoothed out the corners of the poster, ensuring it lay flat against the corkboard, a slight smile gracing her face as she stepped back to admire her work. around her, students passed by with their books against their chests, eyeing the poster as they went by, chatting merrily.

she had begun throwing away the empty box of pins when she turned abruptly at the sound of her name, her ponytail swishing as her eyes, unsurprisingly, met kamo's.

he stood a few feet away, posture composed respectfully as he secured the strap of his bag on his shoulder, his expression monotoned.

"you caught me at a better time, kamo," she commented with a gentle smile.

the boy in question furrowed his brows at her.

"you don't look surprised," he responded, blunt as ever.

she knew he meant well, even if he could have chosen to speak in longer sentences.

"i know you and megumi have business class together here," said tsumiki, nodding at the empty classroom on the opposite end of the hallway, "and the girl that was meant to put the fall festival poster up today isn't in, so i had to come down here and do it. you were bound to find me."

she moved her head to the side so as to unblock his view from the poster she'd just put up, a hand raised to present it more formally.

"anyway," she sighed, shaking her head with an air of finality, "so... erm... the student council is currently full right now, which means that you can't join just yet."

kamo had previously approached tsumiki with a straightforward request about joining the student council, expressing an absurd amount of interest in contributing to the group. though his reserved demeanour left little room for elaboration, tsumiki took his request seriously, setting aside time to check for any open positions what-not.

however, she had later discovered that all positions had already been filled for the semester, and as the considerate senior she believed herself to be, made a mental note to inform him directly, not wanting to let the matter go unresolved or leave him waiting unnecessarily.

"but i can always see what's available for the next few semesters?" she suggested brightly. "some of our members have been slacking lately, and... i don't want to get rid of them, but i'm not sure how else we're gonna get a move on if they keep missing meetings and stuff. i also don't know how to tell them, so..."

"don't worry about it," kamo assured her with a small shake of his head. "i got an email from nanami about being someone's tutor. gonna go ask him about it in class today. but thanks anyway."

"oh, that's great!" tsumiki beamed, relieved. she had been internally struggling on how to let the junior know about the rejection. she didn't find any of those conversations easy. "who are you tutoring?"

kamo did not miss a beat when responding. "y/n."

tsumiki's brows has raised significantly.

if it had to be anyone tutored in math, she considered to herself mentally, it would be you. she remembered the notes she'd already used being passed down, not to megumi, but to you instead. she knew you needed the help, not that there was anything shameful about it at all.

it made no sense to her how she hadn't just known (the second kamo mentioned tutoring someone) that it'd be you.

"okay, well," she began, picking up her discarded bag and putting her arms through the straps casually, "that makes this conversation a whole lot easier. i was afraid i'd have to reject you and end it with 'good luck finding something though'. it's... always awkward. i hate it."

the hallway was starting to get busier as their conversation went on.

"so, i'll see you, then," she waved at him politely, making a move to walk off, but kamo had stopped her, stepping in front of her hurriedly.

she looked up at him expectantly, for she'd assumed the conversation was done. surely there was nothing else to be added...?

kamo cleared his throat, and for the first time since she'd known the blunt junior, she realised that he looked almost hesitant.

"i'm just gonna say it," he muttered, sounding as though he were talking more to himself than to her. tsumiki tilted her head at him, leaning forward to catch his low voice. "you're close with y/n."

it was a statement, not a question, she noted to herself.

she nodded regardless.

"like family," she agreed softly, unsure of where this was going.

his tentative behaviour had her taking a step back. something told her that this conversation wasn't just about extracurriculars and things to add to his college application.

but what he had said next was not something she'd been prepared for.

"do you know if she's seeing anyone?"

and then it hit her, all of it, every single conversation he had initiated with her over the past week or so.

kamo did not want to join the student council for a little something to be added to his college application. he had not gone to speak to tsumiki of all people just because she was head of the student council either, however, it had been convenient that she was head...

... for it meant that he could easily ask questions about you, a regular and constant member of the student council.

he did not care that the positions were limited, for he'd landed a different position, a better position, to get closer to you:

he was now your tutor in math.

whenever she'd do the dirty job of turning people down or rejecting them regarding the amount of members, no matter how politely she put it, they always assured her that it was fine, that they're okay with it, but none of them actually were. she could tell by the disheartened expressions on their face that would be hurriedly masked by one of indifference.

but kamo... kamo truly did not care. his mask of indifference, his facade of carelessness had not been a mask or facade at all. and at first, tsumiki had just assumed that he was just that good at hiding what he truly felt (after all, he walked around looking unbothered every second of every day, it wasn't new to him).

but that hadn't been it at all.

she'd been wrong.

it all made sense.

"tsumiki...?"

ah, she'd forgotten to respond.

she blinked up at him in realisation.

"sorry, sorry," she babbled, chuckling sheepishly. "i was just... thinking."

he did not say anything, clearly awaiting her response to his question.

"i'm not exactly sure," she answered, which wasn't a complete lie.

you weren't in a relationship with anyone, she knew that for sure. if you were, the entire family would know about it, for secrets did not exist in the zenin-gojo-fushiguro-l/n family. the last time mai had tried a relationship out, uncle ogi had gone ballistic.

but she also knew that you wouldn't have hidden it from her. it wouldn't even be possible to count on her fingers how many times you'd come to her with secrets, questions, and so on. in the humblest way possible, tsumiki knew that if you were in a relationship, she'd definitely know about it.

and yet...

there was an unspoken, knowing thing in the air that she was aware of, but neither you nor the person she had in mind had ever ventured it. she wasn't even certain that either of you were aware of it.

she herself hadn't been until just a year or two ago...

but that was the thing. it had never been mentioned, it had never been voiced, nor had it ever been implied.

she morphed her expression into one of neutrality. for the things she'd seen over the years, if a move wasn't going to be made between you and him, then it wouldn't be fair to tell kamo otherwise.

she had to be certain.

"she's not seeing anyone, that's for sure," tsumiki informed the boy before her, careful with her words, "but... i don't know if she likes anyone."

"i see," kamo nodded, looking contemplative. she couldn't blame him, her answer was rather vague. "i don't want to waste my time if —"

"yeah, i get you," she nodded, understanding. "how about i ask?"

kamo's expression had turned stony.

"no thanks —"

"not her," tsumiki interrupted him with a laugh. "the mutual friends she and i share. i won't mention you, i'll just ask if she likes anyone. if anyone likes her. you get the idea."

kamo's expression shifted as he mulled over tsumiki's offer, his sharp features reflecting an unusual mixture of calculation and apprehension.

his furrowed brows and slightly pursed lips betrayed a rare moment of hesitation, as if weighing the potential outcomes against his own guarded nature. the normally composed junior found himself caught between his instinct to handle matters independently and the opportunity to gain insight without exposing himself too soon.

but after a moment, tsumiki watched with satisfaction as his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, and the tension in his jaw eased.

he nodded subtly, deciding that tsumiki's plan made sense.

"ok," he'd said, eyes half-lidded. "thanks."

when tsumiki had parted her lips to respond, she'd noticed yuji and megumi in the far distance standing near their classroom. yuji seemed to be looking right at her, a broad grin on his face as he raised a hand to wave at her.

"oh, she saw us!" she heard him saying. "she's saying hi!"

but megumi, she noted, who was standing beside him didn't make a single attempt to meet her gaze, choosing to ignore her entirely and go to his class.

tsumiki did not mind, even if it did surprise her slightly that he chose to choose such a cold way to respond, as megumi was always in a bad mood during school.

she raised her own hand and waved politely at the pink-haired, bubbly boy.

"megumi, she's — she's saying hi —" she heard him repeat, sounding half excited and half confused.

she watched as megumi stepped into his classroom, disappearing from her sight. yuji had, not even a moment later, followed him in, but not without loudly demanding why he was ignoring her.

tsumiki sighed and turned to kamo with a gentle smile.

"i guess that means we'll be in touch," she told him, as he took a step back, eyeing his class.

"yeah," he nodded, beginning to walk away. "thanks again."

tsumiki lingered for a moment, her gaze following kamo as he turned the corner and disappeared into his classroom.

the faintest trace of a smirk played on her lips as she adjusted the strap of her bag and headed towards her own class. of all the ways she had expected the day to unfold, becoming a covert matchmaker wasn't one of them, and she couldn't help but chuckle softly to herself, amused by the unexpected turn of events, and curious about what might come next.

the rest of the year was certainly going to be interesting.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

bonus scene:

"how is that gonna help us survive?"

"erm... it's gonna — we're gonna — it's gonna mean we can still have fun!"

megumi glared down at your bindle.

the two of you had made it a safe distance away from your houses — or ex-houses, rather, since you had officially decided that you were going to run away.

after an unsuccessful attempt at helping your mom with cleaning the kitchen counters while she was gone, leaving foamed up hand soap and water-drenched tissue pieces everywhere, the adults had all gathered round and laughed at the two of you, mocking your labour and making inside jokes as thought you were not present in the room with them.

it was humiliating.

so humiliating to the point where megumi had come up with the idea to run away together. if your family couldn't appreciate your efforts and instead decide to ring up the extended family to laugh about you, perhaps they'd be happy with never seeing you again.

that'll show them.

so the two of you had separated to your respective rooms — now ex-rooms — to pack the necessities.

and there they were, laid out on the concrete ground before you.

you had gone first, your spotted pink cloth on the side of the road as you crouched down and picked up your disney doll, sleeping beauty, a small blanket for herthat had been placed next to your toothbrush, and lelli kelly shimmery lipgloss and eyeshadow.

megumi was beyond unimpressed.

"and you didn't bring toothpaste," he reminded you with a scowl.

you glanced at him, wide eyed in petrification. amidst your anger towards the adults, you had completely forgotten to pack the toothpaste.

megumi glared at you and began undoing his own bindle, the spotted red cloth of his carefully laid out on the crosswalk, presenting items you hadn't even considered packing: toothpaste, his toothbrush, two sandwiches wrapped in tin foil, and a small first aid kit.

"it's fine," he assured you, pointing at his items. "i have some here."

you rubbed your forehead with your arm in relief.

"phew!" you sighed, using your other hand to hold your doll close to your chest. "that was close."

"how is that supposed to cover us?" megumi demanded, staring at the little blanket you'd packed for your doll.

you raised your brows at him.

"like — like on — on our feet! like this megumi, look!" you told him, picking up the little blanket and comparing it to your feet. you supposed he had a point, but you wanted to be right.

he gave you a sharp look, very clearly unimpressed with your comparison.

"it's not gonna cover our knees," he stated angrily, glowering at you as though you'd committed a heinous crime before him.

you frowned, your lips in a pout. his tone was rude and you didn't appreciate it.

"well now you're just — you're just making me want to keep on walking away from you, megumi."

"no, don't."

"okay."

megumi looked out into the distance, his eyes narrowed as he shielded his gaze from the sun, his small hand hovering above his furrowed, tense brows. he turned back to you with a frown.

"we're gonna keep walking after a break," he informed you, taking a seat on the crosswalk and scratching his bare knee. it was a hot day, the summer heat had made it so that in the morning, before either of you knew you'd run away together, you had worn clothes fit for the day.

megumi was in his navy shorts and a plain white shirt, meanwhile you were in your yellow sundress and floral sandals.

not fit for the night, according to your grumpy friend.

you joined him on the crosswalk, the hard of the ground rubbing against your bottom, making you shift in discomfort. if you weren't on the run, you would have been sitting on your bed... your ex-bed, which had been so much more comfortable.

"we do a good thing and they embarrass us," megumi grumbled, kicking a stone and watching it tumble dramatically. "they're gonna regret it now."

"yeah," you agreed, stroking your doll's hair.

you realised you had also forgotten to pack her mini hairbrush.

it was too late to do anything about it now.

the two of you had silently begun remaking your bindles again. megumi had informed you that the sandwiches would be used only for when you were completely starving as there wasn't enough food to last you for the rest of the day. he had blamed you for packing 'unnecessary things', to which you had responded heatedly with.

once your bindles were remade, the two of you held your sticks over your shoulders and stared down at your houses.

mrs daphne would be glad you were gone, but you liked to picture her upset at hearing that you were missing.

your father, who was currently on a trip in australia, would be beyond distressed about your disappearance. you imagined him getting that call from your mom, her usually careless demeanour missing (just like you) crying into the phone, telling him the last time she'd seen you...

which just so happened to be when the family had been mocking the two of you.

"my mommy is — she's gonna regret it, too," you mumbled, a lump in your throat as you pictured the next scene in your head: megumi's mom looking for him, and then realising you were gone, too.

the look of despair on her face. the realisation that the last thing she had said to you were impolite, unlike her usual behaviour...

"and — and they'll think of — they'll think what they said to us... before we..." you continued, the lump in your throat making it harder for you to speak.

when you glanced at megumi, you realised how he was looking the same. both your eyes, despite the fact that you were hiding it from each other, were slowly filling themselves up with salty water.

megumi cleared his throat. you knew it wouldn't help because you tried that too.

he continued anyway:

"and when they find our dead bodies... they're... gonna cry at our funeral..."

you pictured your gravestones, his next to yours, a single flower placed on top of the soil on his, several bouquets on yours.

it made your eyes sting and burn even more.

toji would stand by your gravestone, silently staring down at it in deep remorse. he'd think about the times he had never referred to you with your name — always the devil child, never y/n.

he'd say your name then, and burst into tears when he realises that you'd never hear it...

because you were dead.

"your — your — your dad," you added, throat burning as you held back your tears, "he's gonna wish... he said... s-sorry... t-to... me..."

megumi cleared his throat again. you did not follow suit this time, knowing quite well how useless it was.

the two of you were trying your hardest to avoid looking at each other, neither of you wanting to show that you were crying, but both of you well aware of the fact that you were.

"uncle ogi is gonna... tell... the zenins in japan... about me... dying," megumi added carefully, "in starvation... or... murder... if someone kidnaps us..."

your bottom lip wobbled at the thought. you didn't want to be kidnapped. you didn't want to die. you didn't want a funeral this early.

and yet, you did not make the choice of going back. you wouldn't make that choice. otherwise, the adults would never learn their lesson. this was necessary. they needed to know how rude they were to the two of you for trying to be helpful and do some good around the house.

"and s-satoru's gonna... when he used to," you started again, but the lump in your throat was seriously making it difficult for you to speak, "when he used to... make fun of... my english... when — when — whenever i spoke..."

your conversation was abruptly cut off as a distant, frantic voice echoed through the air.

both you and megumi froze, your small feet rooted to the ground, as the sound of your names being called reached you.

the voices overlapped, desperate and searching, growing louder with every passing second. you turned to megumi, your wide eyes meeting his, and though neither of you spoke, the unspoken question hung between you: should you keep going?

"Y/N?!"

"MEGUMI?!"

"MEGUMI AND Y/N —"

the two of you stood behind the fence of one of your neighbours' house, watching as your guardians separated and began searching the area for you.

"they're looking for us," you commented, the sting in your eyes lessening as you watched your mom run in the other direction.

"yeah, good," megumi responded, sounding annoyed. "let's go."

just as the two of you were about to spin on your heels and bolt in the other direction, you found yourselves face-to-face with the last person you wanted to see: satoru gojo stood before you, his sunglasses slightly tilted down his nose and a curious expression plastered over his face.

you hadn't even paid attention to the fact that megumi's mom was also by his side, her expression one of complete fury.

for a moment, none of you spoke.

and when your eyes had locked onto that dreaded camera that hung around his neck, already raised and pointed at you, that infuriatingly carefree grin returned across his face.

"gotcha!" he chirped, snapping pictures from every possible angle — close-ups of your scowls, wide shots of your shoes, even a dramatic low angle of your crossed arms.

and all you could do was stand there, your grumpy faces growing darker with each shutter click, a silent agreement passing between you that this moment would haunt the both of you forever.

all because of satoru and that stupid camera of his.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

next chapter :)

notes: so some of u were right, and then backtracked (muahahaha). my ao3 lot were extremely suspicious and i couldn't trick them unfortunately :/ so... yeah. anyway, thoughts? predictions? what do we think?

previous chapter :)

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taglist (send an ask or comment to be added):

@1l-ynn @shaigimo @shuupiu @nappingnai @xbarrjallenx @reinaswrld @anintrovertedechoe @momoewn @polarbvnny @lailuv21 @cherriee-ee @hfuensiekabhsufnd @k0z3me @laughingfcx @jelly-fsh @anonymity-222 @blubearxy @jamypam @thelost-child

i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.

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shinysobi · 3 months ago

Text

pretty u

summary: when joshua, your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but feel as though you're missing out on something important. jihoon, your other best friend, kindly offers to set you up with one of his many friends. chaos ensues, seungkwan is an observer who knows everything, and unfortunately, mingyu is a hapless victim.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader

genre: crack, fluff, angst

word count: 10k~ish

warnings: alcohol consumption, general warnings apply

A/N: uhh..hi? this is the first time i've written rpf, and it makes all the more sense for it to be centred around woozi, my svt bias. this has no plot at all, and i just wrote it for fun and vibes...also unbetaed, so if you see any mistakes, no u did not :)) shout out to my twitter gc for cheering me on as i wrote this hehe u guys are the best

a/n 2: reblogs and comments are much appreciated! please tell me if you're liking this lmao

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

Chapter 1

Whoever said that every love story is universal, was not lying, unfortunately. Every good love story is a mix of tropes that unfortunately work well together to form a coherent plot. And the longer you read books, the easier it becomes for you to identify (or avoid) these tropes.

The enemies turn into lovers.

The friends turn into lovers.

The inn only has one available bed.

Your brother’s best friend is somehow smoking hot and doesn’t see you as an annoying little sibling anymore.

Your one-night stand is your new boss, and he is inexplicably obsessed with you.

Your parents have forced you into an arranged marriage, and your partner is a. incredibly hot and b. also obsessed with you. You get the gist, so on, and so forth.

All love stories go for a trope that becomes the central conceit of the story, no matter how unique they try to be. The small-town girl/boy falls for the hotshot city lawyer/businessman/vague marketing executive and shows them the importance of family, and of course, of love, because without it, business is notoriously low. People need romance to feel something other than hatred in their already terrible lives, and books offer escapism. Escapism and on some other level, a sense of belonging. You can identify yourself with the girl who falls in love with her brother’s best friend, or the man who has feelings for his sworn enemy, or the person who has, surprise, fallen in love, with their best friend. Or their best friend’s brother. Take your pick.

And unfortunately, as a critic, reading romance implies wading through the countless reiterations of trope-y goodness on offer at every bookstore, and trying to find something that strikes a chord. It is a given, that one has to kiss some proverbial frogs in the meantime, and of course, any professional mishap has to be accompanied with a gossip session with one’s friends, where any complaints you might have about your work, is unloaded onto the brunch table, for my friends to laugh about.

Because at the end of the day, everyone is a character in their own kind of romance novel. A victim of the tropes, if you will. In my case, I am the perpetual single childhood best friend, who puts up with every single antic of the main character. In of course, an enemies-to-lovers romance. Apparently unrequited love sells too, if its written well. If not, then it just becomes one of many repetitive marketing gimmicks that frankly, don’t sit well with anyone, let alone someone like me, who critiques books for a living.

“It’s your attitude that’s a problem.” Jihoon says, taking a sip of his coffee, “you’ve been writing for the newsdesk for years and I have never seen you actually be satisfied with a book. There’s always something that could have been better. Maybe this is why you are so—”

“I am so?” I say, eyes narrowed, “finish that sentence, Jihoon.”

“You want me to?”

“Do you really have to fight every time we meet?”

Both Jihoon and I turn our head to the third person at the table, Joshua. Dressed impeccably in a freshly ironed pair of shirt and trousers, he looks far better than either me or Jihoon, because both of us look as though we have been through botched murder attempts. I am in a hoodie and sweatpants, and Jihoon is somehow worse than me, wearing a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt. His abandoned khaki bomber jacket hangs on the back of his chair, and I cannot believe I’m saying this, but he actually looks worse when wearing the jacket. Joshua looks as though he has been seated at our table by mistake. I’m slightly annoyed by this, but it seems as though Jihoon is more annoyed than me, “what do you mean we fight every time we meet?”

Joshua makes a vague hand gesture, “really? Look at us. You both are dressed as though you’ve been through a typhoon. I feel horribly overdressed.”

“I had a long night.” I reply, “worked overtime at the desk for the Sunday paper.”

“I came here straight from the studio.” Jihoon says, “I didn’t even go home to shower.”

“See, this, this is what I am talking about.” Joshua groans, “both of you dress like homeless people, and then when you come to brunch, you fight all the time. Do you guys never get tired of fighting?”

“Never.” Both Jihoon and I say in unison.

Joshua sighs, before picking up his knife and fork, “I give up. I can never get you two to agree on anything apart from the fact that you guys, apparently, don’t fight.”

“She needs to quit complaining about her job.” Jihoon points his fork at me, “she’s got the cushiest job imaginable, and she manages to complain about it all the time. Every week, she’s here complaining about something at her job.”

“As if you don’t complain about your job all the time too,” I reply, not one to back down from a fight, “you complain about the people at your job all the time as well. And it’s not as though your job is shitty; you literally work at the biggest music corporation in the country—”

“Guys!” Joshua half-yells, and I stop. Everyone is looking at the three of us, and unlike the two of us, he looks embarrassed. “Guys, if you have to fight every time we meet, maybe I suggest we stop this weekly brunch. Jesus—”

“Oh, he swore,” Jihoon whispers, and I giggle, “we finally made him take the Lord’s name in vain.”

“—it’s like you’re kids all over again. This isn’t freshman year of university, for heaven’s sake,” he takes an elegant sip of his coffee, “and for your information, Jesus isn’t the Lord. I’m not letting you guys get the satisfaction of hearing me fucking swear.”

“Does he hear himself?” Jihoon mutters. “I don’t think he does.” I whisper in response.

“Yes, I’m aware I said ‘fuck’, thank you very much.” Joshua sits back in his chair, “I’m proposing to Eunseo tonight.”

“Tonight?” Jihoon yells, bolting upright from his chair, and everyone in the restaurant looks at us, “you’re proposing to her tonight?”

Joshua grabs his hand to drag him back onto his chair, “yes, tonight. Are you stupid? Everyone is looking at us now.” He looks at me, “what do you think about it?”

Oh. Oh.

Remember when I said that my role in a romance novel is that of the eternally-spurned childhood friend? The one who has loved the main character from a distance, never really daring to express their feelings? Well, I’ve not known Joshua since my childhood, we met at high school, and it hasn’t been that long since I discovered that I might have a tiny, the most miniscule of crushes on him. But I’m that trope. The childhood friend who gets spurned, and the main character turns away to the actual love of their life, leaving only a broken heart behind. Too little, too late.

Well, who wouldn’t?

He’s tall, good-looking, gentlemanly, with just the right amount of unhinged, has a good, stable, get-off-at-the-right-time government job, and above all, he’s unflinchingly kind to everyone. Yes, including me and Jihoon, even though we make his life a living hell on most days. Realistically, it was only a moment of time before either Jihoon or I had any feelings for him. And I was betting on Jihoon too. Fuck.

“Are you okay?” Joshua’s voice is soft, insisting, and all I can see when I break out of my reverie is the swoop of his collarbones as they disappear under the shirt, and suddenly I feel very dirty. Not just dirty, but also simply awful. Why am I out here thinking about his collarbones when he’s thinking about how to propose to his girlfriend? His very nice, very beautiful girlfriend?

“I’m fine,” I nod my head, “have you picked out a ring for her?”

“Not yet, but I have a kind of ring in mind already.” He says, turning to Jihoon and starting to talk about the different cuts of diamonds that are present at Tiffany’s, and how they suit different kinds of people. Eunseo, I learn, is partial to a pear cut. Jihoon, the idiot, who can’t shut up when it comes to arguments with me, is unnaturally quiet, only offering comments here and there. It’s very uncharacteristic.

And then he gets that look on his face which is a signal for both me and Jihoon that we are about to hear an hour’s worth of praises of Eunseo, and I step in. Making a vague sign towards my completed plate of fish and chips (not that great, the fish was soggy) I say, “before he begins singing praises of his girlfriend, sorry, fiancé, can we get the check?”

“You keep saying it as though you don’t know how much I love her.” Joshua sounds annoyed but unfortunately, I can see through his mask of fake annoyance, “I already paid.”

“Thank goodness, I forgot my wallet.” Jihoon smiles, “for a moment, I thought I would have to use my online wallet.”

“Aren’t you ashamed?” I elbow him lightly in the ribs, and he doesn’t even flinch. Apparently, music producers these days have to be certified gym rats, or they won’t let them into the building, “you’ve mooched off of Joshua and me for the past twelve years, maybe it’s time to start paying.”

“Maybe I do pay, but I just don’t like you.” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his tone, “so I don’t want to pay for your meal.”

“You little—” I’m about to commit a murder in broad daylight, but Joshua, the sweet angel that he is, stops both of us, waving his card in between like a bullfighting matador.

“You guys just don’t stop, do you?” He grins, evidently thinking about how he’s going to propose to his loving girlfriend this evening. Nauseating. It makes me want to throw up. Because Joshua is not going to wake up one morning and decide that he wants to throw away his living relationship of five years to—to pursue his unfortunate best friend, who has nursed an unfortunate attraction towards him for the past year. That is never going to happen. So, let’s scratch that. That should not happen.

Because apart from being unfairly gorgeous and rich and beautiful and did I mention gorgeous? Eunseo is also unflinchingly nice, the kind of nice that leaves other people wondering if the person in front of them is real or not, or if they have some kind of hidden intentions that border on murderous or at the very least, fraudulent. She’s the one who took me under her wing when I was a freshman and had no friends except the two weird guys in my required sociology class, and thanks to her, at the end of four years of university, I had friends in the journalism club, people I come into contact on occasion such as weddings and the odd reunion.

Her niceness is also the reason why Joshua fell for her at first sight.

“I’m out.” Jihoon picks up the abomination of a bomber jacket from his chair, “and before you ask, no, hyung, I’m not helping you with picking out a ring for your girlfriend. You can do that yourself. Or ask her for help.”

And before Joshua can look at me and before I make a fool out of myself (yet again), I turn away, rejecting his proposal for looking at pear-cut diamond rings on a Sunday morning, “I’m ideologically against the institution of marriage. Do it yourself.”

Joshua sighs, because of course he has anticipated this. The fucker. “cannot believe you’re still on your Dworkin streak. Fine,” he says, getting up from his chair and walking out of the café, “I’ll get Eunseo’s ring myself. And when she asks, I’ll tell her that none of you helped me.”

“Ooh, threatening your girlfriend on us, I’m shaking in my boots,” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his voice, digging through his pockets to get his car keys, “when are you planning to get the ring?”

“Later, in the afternoon,” Joshua is opening the door to his car, and looking at me, “do you want me to give you a ride? Your house is on the way.”

“She only takes buses and the subway,” Jihoon grins, “don’t you remember the time in university when she kept saying about how much she likes welfare policies and transportation benefits?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I reply, elbowing him, harder this time, and Jihoon flinches, “I’ll just go to the office. Jihoon will give me a ride.”

“When did I say that I’ll give you a ride?” Jihoon looks like he wants to begin an argument with me in front of the café, but he acquiesces, “ugh, fine. I’ll give you a ride. Your office is on the way.”

—

“I’m still not convinced that you simply wanted to ‘spend time with me’.” Jihoon grumbles an hour later, seated at his studio and fiddling with his computer. “You’ve been lying there and scrolling twitter for hours now.”

“Your couch is much better than my office chair,” I hum a non-committal reply, before making myself further comfortable into the soft plush material of his couch, “and I’m not scrolling on twitter, I’m trying to find another flat to move into.”

“Lease up?” Jihoon asks, “wasn’t your agreement still valid for at least another few months?”

“I’m just trying to get ahead of the curve,” I reply, “if I start looking from now, maybe I’ll get a better flat by the time the lease is up. My current flat is—”

“A shithole.” Jihoon finishes my sentence for me, “seriously, I don’t know how you manage to live there. And you’ve been holding onto that flat for the past seven years. everyone moved out of their university flats, but you managed to hold onto yours for so long.”

“That’s because it’s a good deal,” I mutter, “ugh, I can’t manage to find a single good deal on any of the flats.”

“Because you’re never satisfied with any deal,” Jihoon replies, “your ideal deal is if everything was free.”

“And I still maintain that housing should not be monetised.”

“Why thank you for that insight, comrade.” Jihoon puts a finger to his mouth, “shut up for a while, I’m trying to concentrate on this song.

“Who’s it for?” I sit up, intrigued, “a new artist?”

“The company’s new girl group.” Jihoon says, “I was asked to produce the title track for their debut. I only have four months on hand, and I still haven’t finished the track. The higher-ups are going to have my head for this.”

“No, they won’t,” I reply, “they like you too much. Speaking of—”

“—if you want me to give you an interview, I won’t, I’ve already told you five times,” Jihoon cuts me off, wheeling his chair away from me, “jeez, you’re tenacious.”

“Oh, but come on, it’ll be fun,” with an extra emphasis on come on, I think I’ve got Jihoon’s attention, “people keep speculating on the kind of person you are. I mean, people know Woozi, but do they know what kind of person he is, underneath all that secrecy? You’ve never given an interview, and you keep avoiding any kind of public appearance. One might think you hate the spotlight.”

“Even if I were to give an interview, I wouldn’t be giving it to you. Who knows how you’re going to spin my words.”

“I’m hurt, Lee Jihoon. This has hurt me.”

Jihoon turns around and blows me a raspberry. I roll my eyes. Is he twenty-eight, or just eight? “whatever you say won’t affect the way I think. I still won’t give you an interview.”

“Just so you know, I’m known to be an excellent interviewer.” I say, walking over to his chair, “come on, Jihoon-ah, give me an interview. Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pwease?”

He turns around at that, fixing me with a stare, “don’t you ever fucking do aegyo in front of me. I’m going to kill you if you do that again.”

“See, if you gave me an interview like I’m asking you to, then I would not have a reason to subject you to aegyo, but as things stand, you really give me nothing else to work with.”

“Ask Joshua for an interview then, if you’re so desperate for one,” the words coming out of anyone else’s mouth would have given me enough reason to walk out of the room, but Jihoon made them sound softer, almost romantic. It was funny, how he managed to change the intonations of every word, changing them to his whims. I suppose that’s what I do with words, and that’s what he does with sounds.

“Joshua is not the elusive Woozi,” I flop back onto the sofa as I counter, trying actively to not think about Joshua picking out a ring at Tiffany’s for Eunseo right at that moment, “he’s an adjunct professor. Not the most interview-friendly of all occupations.”

Jihoon looks at me, and for a moment, I think he’s going to ask me a very uncomfortable and difficult question, but at that moment, both our phones buzz simultaneously. I check the phone, and it’s a single message in the shared chatroom. Joshua has sent a message, a single picture of a pear-shaped diamond solitaire ring (don’t ask me how I know the cut of the diamond) with an attached message;

joshuji: picked up her ring! <3

“Damn, an exclamation point, and an emoji,” Jihoon says, typing out a reply in the chatroom, “our joshuji is entirely too far gone, isn’t he?”

I don’t say anything. Its far easier to pretend that you’re typing out a reply and can’t hear anything, especially when it comes to Jihoon. He’ll take anything in stride.

hoon: wow Eunseo has you whipped

big dick (canon): hey I think it’s cute

Jihoon sets his phone down with an audible clack, and fuck, I’ve messed up. Joshua is oblivious and blissfully happy in his own little life, but Jihoon? The Jihoon that I’ve known ever since our seats were beside each other in the sociology class that made me develop an irrational fear of surveyors? He’s single-minded whenever it comes to pursuing anything. One doesn’t become the most sought-after music producer in the industry with just talent, they need to be dogged in their pursuit of success. And unfortunately, when Lee Jihoon turns his mind to something, he accomplishes it, whether it’s producing a Billboard Hot 100 hit, or, judging by the way he’s looking at me right now, getting words out of my mouth.

“Okay, spill, I’ve seen this go on for long enough,” he says, getting up from the chair and walking over to the sofa, where I am currently hiding behind a throw pillow, “you’ve been weird for months now, and we need to talk about it.”

“We, don’t need to do anything,” I reply, “I’m perfectly fine. If something happened, I would tell you. Or Joshua. Or both of you, at the same time.”

“Like you inform us after every breakup of yours?” Jihoon laughs, “you mean to say you’re going to hold another one of your ‘meetings’ to tell me and Joshua about how some poor bastard made the mistake of trying to date you?”

“I’m actually nice when I date, and I can hold down a relationship for more than two weeks, Mr I-don’t-like-commitment. Tell me, how did your last date go? Did she walk out of the date itself, or did you ghost her?”

Jihoon blinks at me, and then, a slow, catlike smile passes over his features. Fuck.

“You’re being combative today,” he grins, and fuck, its infuriating how predictable I am, and how absolutely incapable I am of not taking his bait, “so, there is something that you’re hiding.”

“Ugh, I hate this.”

“Then you shouldn’t have taken the damn bait,” he replies, “do you want to tell me yourself, or do you want me to guess your little secret?”

“I’m not telling you anything, and its nothing you can suss out either.”

“I can just beat it out of you,” he smiles, flexing his arms, and I belatedly remember that Jihoon, to my disadvantage, had decided at the early age of twenty-one, that he was going to make up for his height by being The Broadest Man on Earth, and now carried a protein shake in his bag everywhere he went, that somehow tasted more disgusting than it looked. He could easily beat me to a pulp. And he would do it too, the little shit.

“Jihoon, remember the time I carried you home when you were drunk?” I don’t know how to do the specific variant of the thing they call ‘puppy eyes’, but I try my absolute best to emulate the little I know, “and you threw up all over my clothes? Remember? It was at Mingyu’s birthday party, and you got drunk on an empty stomach—”

“Don’t fucking do that,” he throws a pillow at me, “fuck, that’s creepy. Also, I got drunk and threw up on your clothes in my second year of university, damn, how long are you going to milk it for?”

“As long as I can,” I reply, “please, Jihoon, just this once.”

“Damn, fine, weirdo,” he stands up, going back to his chair, his back now towards me, “isn’t as though you like Joshua or something.”

I freeze, hoping that the intake of breath at that last sentence hasn’t been heard by Jihoon. I know I’m an atheist, I pray fervently, to whichever god that’s listening, God, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, if anyone’s listening, please, please, please, let Jihoon not notice—

“You like Joshua?”

Fuck.

“No.” I lie brightly, “I just—stubbed my toe on the table.”

Jihoon looks at me in a way that screams bitch, I know you’re a liar so don’t even try. “You know you’re a horrible liar, right?”

“I am?”

He nods, “its one of the many endearing things about you. But unfortunately, you’ve given yourself away now. Really, Joshua? The Joshua Hong we know?”

“Really, it isn’t like that,” I’m sweating, and praying Jihoon doesn’t notice that I’m sweating, “its nothing, and besides, I don’t even like him in that kind of way—”

“Do you want to fuck him?”

I choke on a breath and begin coughing. “What?” I manage to say, after I recover enough to breathe properly, “I don’t want to fuck anyone!”

“Great, because if you wanted to fuck him, it would have become massively awkward.” Jihoon shrugs, “since it’s one of those passing feelings, you can take care of it; it happens all the time. I once had a crush on you too. It’s bound to happen.”

“You had a crush on me?” I screech, “what the fuck, Lee Jihoon, you’re supposed to wait before dropping this kind of information on me!”

“Dude, its long gone,” Jihoon places a hand on my shoulder, a touch that’s meant to be reassuring, but it only suffices to make me angrier, “it was during my military service. I remember that you came with my parents to see me off, and it was—nice. So, I had a crush on you. I got over it when I got out of the military, though. Turns out seeing your best friend live in a hovel really does wonders for your lingering feelings.”

“For eighteen months?” I hold my head in my hands, “you had a crush on me for eighteen months? What the fuck kind of information is that? And you got out of the military three years ago!”

“M-hmm, see, that’s what I mean when I say these feelings will go away.” Jihoon looks sage, as if he’s imparting the secret to life and how to be a good Buddhist, and not bombarding my mind with information I would rather not know, “wait, have you masturbated to Joshua?”

“What the fuck?” I stand up, pacing the room at a speed that would closely rival that of an Olympian, “why would I masturbate to Joshua Hong?”

Jihoon shrugs, “people masturbate. You are a person. Hence the question.”

“Of course, I haven’t masturbated to—wait did you masturbate while thinking of me?” I’m yelling now, yelling and pacing the room like a woman possessed, because of course, Jihoon has made me lose my mind, “Lee Jihoon, did you jerk off to my pictures?”

He shrugs. “What are you going to do if I say yes?”

“I’m going to kill you, and then I’m going to kill myself,” I say, grabbing his shoulders, “you know what, Jihoon, lets do that. Let’s both die.”

“Why would I consent to a murder-suicide with you?” he sounds terribly composed, which again, does not bode well for the numerous murderous thoughts I have currently running through my head, “its just a little masturbation. I was twenty-three, I was bored to tears at the military camp, and I had a crush on you, so, I did what I did.”

“Which was apparently, masturbation.” I flop facedown on the couch, “I want to castrate you, you know that, right?”

“Figures. You’ve always been weird about sex.” Jihoon makes a face, “So, you didn’t tell me. do you want to fuck Joshua or not? Because if you do, then it just means that you want sex. If you don’t, then I can’t help you.”

“How can you help me in any way if I say I want to have sex with Joshua?” I ask, “even if I do, which I don’t, just by the way—”

“You want to jump his bones. Right.”

“—how can you even help me, short of getting me a male prostitute.” I pause, horror spreading through my features, “oh fuck. Jihoon, are you going to hire a gigolo?”

To his credit, Jihoon looks appropriately disgusted, “why would I hire a prostitute? No, I would set you up with one of my friends.”

“Who?”

He thinks for a while, then says, “Soonyoung.”

“No offence, but I’m about 90% convinced that Soonyoung is a furry.”

“Jeonghan-hyung, then.”

“He’s too similar to Joshua,” I groan, “why am I going along with this idea? This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Then do you want to help yourself?”

“Masturbate to thoughts of Joshua? Yeah, like that’s gonna work.” I hold my head in my hands, “fuck, I have to sleep with Soonyoung, don’t I? I’m half-convinced he will do a tiger impression in bed.”

“I’m fairly convinced he mimics a roar when he orgasms.” Jihoon mutters.

“Oh, fuck, now I have to talk about orgasms with you,” I say, face buried in one of the pillows, “I have to sleep with one of your weird friends and then everyone will know about my crush on Joshua and I’ll be shunned from our three-person group forever and ever—”

“Calm down, no one is going to spill your secrets,” Jihoon says, “and I have other friends too, you know. They don’t talk as much as those idiots, but they are good people.”

“But I don’t want to fuck anyone right now.”

Jihoon stares at me.

“Okay fine, maybe a little bit.” I concede, “but still, not enough to warrant a setting-up. Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated.”

“Then go fuck someone!”

“It isn’t that easy!” I snap, and Jihoon looks surprised, because its so unlike me to be incandescent over something as stupid as this, but I can’t help the shiver of anger running over me, “it isn’t so fucking easy. If it were, I would have gone and slept with a stranger from a bar. Yes, I know it’s dangerous, but I would have done it. But I’m telling you now, its difficult for me to even know if I’m attracted to Joshua, and if my attraction means I want to jump him or whatever.”

“Then what does it mean?” Jihoon, it seems, is also incapable of not reacting to my moods and temper, he gets angry easily sometimes, “What does it mean when you tell me you’re attracted to someone? We’re twenty-eight, for fuck’s sake. What the fuck else do you mean?”

“I don’t know!” I half-yell, half-sob, “I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know if I want to sleep with anyone, least of all Joshua. I’m confused, and I don’t know what to do, and all I want is a little acceptance, not you rattling of a list of people I should sleep with in order to get over my feelings for Joshua—”

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

“—and you can’t even give me that, Jihoon,” I finish lamely, looking at his concerned expression, “yeah fine, I’m leaving.”

The door is loud when I close it behind me. to his credit, Jihoon doesn’t pursue me, because even if he’s abnormally idiotic in matters like these, he’s got some sense.

—

I deeply regret befriending either of them, because both Joshua and Jihoon have apparently no sense of boundaries between people. Joshua keeps assaulting my inbox with messages along the lines of oh look how much I love my girlfriend and how much I can’t wait to see you guys and celebrate my engagement because I’ve got my life sorted out unlike YOU fuckers, and Jihoon has rewarded me with radio silence ever since I blew up in his face about his idiotic idea regarding me having sex with one of his friends.

And, as a testament to my misfortunes in life, Joshua has decided that his proposal to Eunseo must be followed up with a party thrown in her honour, or at least a dinner as per his last text message; which of course, he has to send to the shared chatroom with a variety of threatening and non-threatening messages.

joshuji: just saying if you guys aren’t here for the dinner, I’m never talking to you

hoon: aren’t proposals supposed to be an intimate thing? For couples??? Why are you asking us to be there????

joshuji: Eunseo wanted you guys to celebrate, too

joshuji: also, I’m proposing to her in the afternoon. I’m asking you guys to come over for dinner

hoon: maybe we should ask Eunseo about her feelings?

hoon: idk if she would want two others celebrating her engagement. Maybe we should stage an intervention and try to convince her to leave you. Its not too late already

big dick (canon): idk if I can make it guys

joshuji: I told u I wouldn’t be forgiving you if you don’t attend

hoon: you also tell us that every other week, I think we’ll be fine

joshuji: please?

hoon: don’t you fucking dare

big dick (canon): send us the location. Also, you’re paying

hoon: that’s the least he can do, after inflicting all this on us, and on her

joshuji: don’t worry, dinner is on me. [location attached] be there.

Fuck. Fuck my life, and fuck the two other people also in my life, and also, fuck Eunseo for good measure, because if it hadn’t been for her coming over to the mixer in third year, Joshua would never have fallen head over heels with her at first sight, and he wouldn’t have asked her out, and then I wouldn’t have had to deal with my conflicting feelings in the middle of a random Sunday. In the middle of me contemplating whether to clean my flat or not, too. If you look at it, its all her fault. Her fault for being so flawless and lovely and gorgeous that even I cannot bring myself to be jealous. The woman volunteers her free time at an animal shelter, for god’s sake. She’s the kind of person you write rambling horrible love sonnets about, and inflict them on your best friends after getting drunk and vomiting on a sidewalk at three in the morning. I should know, because that was Joshua when he was twenty-five.

Everything seems to go to shit at the same time, so of course, my landlord has to make an appearance when I’m in the middle of a neurotic episode over whether or not to do my laundry and contemplating hurling myself out of the window. His knocks are rhythmic, three seconds apart, which gives me enough time to prepare with a butcher’s knife in my hand. To ensure my safety, of course, in all my good conscience, I could never murder someone.

“Ah, yes, if it isn’t my favourite tenant,” he smiles, wide enough for me to see the gold tooth he had put in four years ago, “don’t worry, I’m only here for a routine check.”

“I bet you say that to all your tenants, Mr Kim.” I mutter, not moving from the doorway. If this man can sell me a glorified hovel posturing as a flat, I can disrespect him as much as I want. “I’ll get back to you on the renewal on my lease as soon as possible.”

The nosy bastard (man) that he is, Mr Kim cranes his neck around me to take a look inside my flat, “don’t worry, you’ve been one of my longest-running tenants for a while, you can take your time.” Then he looks at me, and the gold tooth is again on display. Ugh, I fucking hate it, “Is there a man inside? Boyfriend?”

“I don’t know why I’m saying this to you, Mr Kim, but I don’t have a boyfriend.” I reply, suppressing my urge to bury the knife held in my hand in his chest, “I was cooking, if you want to know that badly.”

“No boyfriend?” he tuts at me as though my dating life (or its lack thereof) is a personal slight against him, “but there are men coming over to your house all the time?”

“Those are my friends, Mr Kim,” I grit out, fake smile getting more brittle by the second, “men and women can be friends, you know.”

“Ah yes, I know, I know,” he nods, before clapping his hands like he’s received some sort of epiphany, “I forgot to tell you, but if you do decide to renew,” here he takes a deep breath, as if he’s bestowing upon me some great honour, “the rent will be raised. By twenty.”

“Twenty percent?” I screech, and the student in the flat next to me has probably heard it, “is that even legal?”

From the smile on his face, I don’t have to hear anything else. It probably is.

Mr Kim goes away from my line of sight (my kitchen knife’s line of attack) with another, equally insufferable, smile, and I close the door with a loud enough bang that the hinges rattle. I lied to Jihoon, because I only have two months left on my contract, and I still have had no luck in finding a new flat to move into. Everywhere I go, its either overpriced, or the facilities are too shitty, or the vibes are off.

Back in the room, I try to busy myself with laundry, when my phone rings. Its Jihoon, who’s apparently decided that making me angry is a full-time job for him. He’s making use of the private chat, which is rare for him, and somehow, equally annoying for me.

hoon: sorry about what happened in the studio this morning

hoon: offer still stands though

big dick (canon): that’s not how you apologise to someone

hoon: what? I’m trying to help my bestie get some

hoon: is that such a scandalous thing to ask for

big dick (canon): yes. Yes, it is

big dick (canon): also, fyi, I’m not sleeping with any of your friends. They’re all too weird for me

hoon: Mingyu? I remember you saying once that you’d motorboat him

big dick (canon): platonically

hoon: not sure how you’d motorboat someone platonically

big dick (canon): he’s too outgoing for me. cannot imagine I’d ever have a moment to myself if I ever dated him

hoon: Wonwoo? Everyone liked him back in university

big dick (canon): unfortunately, all he seems to talk about is gaming. I don’t mind gaming once or twice, but talking about it all the time? That bores me

hoon: Chan? He’s younger than you, but you could be a cougar, for all I know

big dick (canon): I’ve seen Jeonghan beg on his knees for him to go home after a drinking session

hoon: Minghao?

big dick (canon): He once teased me for my curtain bangs for a week straight

hoon: fine then, Cheol?

big dick (canon): Too competitive

hoon: Seungkwan?

big dick (canon): Too athletic. Also, isn’t he joining the culture desk soon?

hoon: Seokmin?

big dick (canon): Too outgoing

hoon: Vernon?

big dick (canon): Too quiet

hoon: Jun?

big dick (canon): Too weird

hoon: Jesus, fuck, woman, what kind of person do you want to date?

big dick (canon): ykw, just set me up with Mingyu. If nothing I can still get to say I motorboated some great pecs

big dick (canon): seriously, his pecs are bigger than my boobs

big dick (canon): how does he do it

big dick (canon): can I hold them

big dick (canon): respectfully

big dick (canon): in a non-sexual way

big dick (canon): please

hoon: I’m sure he’s going to appreciate that

big dick (canon): please ask him

big dick (canon): how does one get that kind of pectoral muscles

big dick (canon): wow

hoon: my pecs are bigger than his

big dick (canon): is this some new sort of dick-measuring contest idk yet

big dick (canon): if it is

big dick (canon): you’re losing

big dick (canon): I need to take a bite from his tits

big dick (canon): One

big dick (canon): Teensy tiny

big dick (canon): Munch

hoon: I’m so close to blocking u

big dick (canon): They hated Jesus because he spoke the truth

hoon: maybe you need to consider that Jesus had very bad vibes

hoon: so, you want to go on a date with Mingyu?

hoon: I feel like I should tell you that he eats the equivalent of three people

hoon: at the same time

big dick (canon): As long as he lets me motorboat him

big dick (canon): I don’t care

big dick (canon): He can eat as much as he wants

hoon: why must you be so horny over Mingyu of all people

hoon: he’s not even that attractive

hoon: and I’ve got bigger pecs than him

big dick (canon): congratulations on having bigger pecs, but I’m still gonna motorboat Mingyu

big dick (canon): going to gently hold his tits

hoon: between you going feral and Joshua badgering me about his engagement party dinner

hoon: I can’t help but feel as though both of u are out to make me go insane

big dick (canon): are you gonna go to that?

hoon: he’s already made plans at the barbecue place where we go to

hoon: even got a whole discount coupon and everything

hoon: normally I’d be upset that he’s being cheap, but after researching the price of that ring, I’m prepared to forgive him this once

hoon: next time I’m forcing him to take us out to a good dinner place

big dick (canon): are you planning to spend all his salary

big dick (canon): I’m in

big dick (canon): Ugh I haven’t eaten anything since the morning

big dick (canon): Can you ask Mingyu to bring me food

hoon: you’re incorrigible

hoon: have you been able to maintain eye contact with him?

big dick (canon): UNFAIR

big dick (canon): You know I can only do that with you

big dick (canon): Since you’re exactly my height

big dick (canon): Hehe

hoon: I’m blocking u and this number right NEOW

hoon: cannot believe I’m conversing WILLINGLY with someone who slanders my height

big dick (canon): see u at the barbecue place tonight

big dick (canon): have fun on the song

hoon: I’m trying to finish it

hoon: cannot believe I’ve gone into a slump

big dick (canon): you know how this can be cured?

big dick (canon): An INTERVIEW

big dick (canon): With yours truly

big dick (canon): Please

hoon: ask someone else

hoon: Soonyoung

big dick (canon): he’s an idol, yes but

big dick (canon): I’m terrified he’s going to do at least three tiger impressions

hoon: wrong, he’s going to do at least five

hoon: ugh gotta go

hoon: see u at the dinner

I stare at the dark phone screen for about five minutes after I’ve finished texting Jihoon. His interest in setting me up with one of his friends aside, he’s not wrong. I’m sexually frustrated, which means I’m just projecting my desires onto the closest available person, which in this case, happens to be Joshua.

Okay, fair enough, then why not anyone else? The people at my workplace aren’t that bad, and some of them are fairly good-looking, so why not them?

As soon as that thought comes into my mind, I shake it away violently. To willingly date someone in the workplace is inviting a whole host of problems, HR notwithstanding. And to imagine the fallout when I eventually break up with them, while still having to work with them in the same office—no, I’d rather take a transfer. The only option that remains are Jihoon’s friends, and while they’re all nice, they can also be terrifying, and therefore, not the best options for dating. Or sleeping around, which is what Jihoon wants me to do.

“Ugh, why do I have to have these feelings,” I moan into my pillow. It would have been great if I were born as an amoeba. Or as a plant. No need for my feelings to take centre stage, no need to maintain friendships with annoying people like Jihoon or Joshua. Just peaceful photosynthesis, and being eaten by a random goat on a random Tuesday. I wouldn’t even need to go to university. Nothing required. Just basking in the sun.

And unfortunately, because my mind is a little traitor, it focuses on the one thing that I don’t want to focus on: Jihoon’s offhand comment about his pecs being bigger than Mingyu’s; which, if I know Jihoon as well as I do, is a blatant lie, but even the thought of it is enough to send me into a downward spiral. What the hell does he mean, he has bigger pecs than Mingyu? Its not as if I want to see them, and let this be known, and made into public record, that I’ve never once wanted to see Jihoon’s pecs.

But.

Of course, its not as if I haven’t thought about it. not as far as Jihoon, who apparently masturbated to the thought of me, but of course I have idly wondered, what it would be like. When he came back from the military, its all I could think about for a couple days, before I had to physically slap myself back into reality. Unfortunately for me, his one petty comment about the size of his pectoral muscles, threatens to throw me back into the pits of desperation yet again.

Ugh. I slam my face into the pile of fresh laundry, hoping for it to soothe my nerves. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.

Its at that moment that the chatroom pings again, this time with a message from Joshua.

joshuji: SHE SAID YES!!!!

hoon: congratulations!

big dick (canon): Congratulations!!!

—

The barbecue place is good enough for us, but for a dinner celebrating Joshua’s engagement to Eunseo, it seems a little too shabby. Although given the amount of money he’s spent on an engagement ring (I saw the prices, and I had to stifle a gasp) it can be forgiven. Just this once, as Jihoon said.

I’ve come here late, on purpose. Between the excited texts from Eunseo, who texted me a picture of her ring, and I had to act appropriately surprised, and Joshua’s infamous enthusiasm for a. showing the world how much he loves his girlfriend and b. to torment his friends, I’m feeling drained. I’m dressed for a night of eating greasy food and drinking cheap alcohol: a hoodie borrowed (stolen) from either Jihoon or Joshua, and jeans. I can’t even lie to myself and give myself a reason to dress up, because even I can’t delude myself into doing that. Jihoon once saw me with day-old vomit on my shirt, and Joshua has seen me dress in my sleepwear for exams week.

The place is filled with smoke, emanating from the meat being cooked on the grills, and it takes me a moment to adjust myself to it all, before I look for the other three. They have all arrived, and according to Jihoon, who’s sent a message out of his own accord on the chatroom in a long time, they’re all eating lots of beef.

“You’re late,” Jihoon grumbles as I approach the table, “I had to sit through half an hour of these two being happy and in love.”

“You’re a liar,” I say, sliding into the seat next to him, “you enjoy romance movies.”

“Wow, that’s something I didn’t know about him,” Joshua says, with a twinkle in his eyes that I don’t want to decode, “how come you know everything about Jihoon?”

“Occupational hazard,” I reply, reaching for a piece of meat, “every time you bailed on us to go on a date with Eunseo, Jihoon and I would be forced to hang out together.”

“It was horrible,” Jihoon agrees, “she’d force me to watch all these romance movies.”

“Says the man who cried while watching Love Actually.”

Eunseo giggles at that, almost doubling over herself. I narrow my eyes at Joshua, “have you both been drinking since the afternoon?”

“No, no, I haven’t,” Eunseo wheezes, and it’s unfair how gorgeous she is while laughing, too. She’s wearing an apron to prevent grease falling on her expensive clothes, and she’s still gorgeous. I snort when I laugh, and once Jihoon saw me with mango juice coming out of my nose, “it’s just funny.”

“What is?”

She points at the two of us, “you know, the both of you keep talking about how annoying you find each other, and yet you’re both closer to each other than anyone else. It’s just so funny to me.”

“Joshua,” Jihoon says, very seriously, “I think your fiancée has been taking drugs.”

“At the very least, she’s insane,” I supply helpfully, “no one in their right minds would date Joshua. Not to mention agreeing to marry him.”

Joshua puts an arm around Eunseo, “stop slandering my fiancée.”

Jihoon puts a piece of meat into his mouth, trying to change the topic, “have I mentioned I’m helping her hook up with someone?”

I cough violently, while Eunseo and Joshua wear twin expressions of confusion. “Wait, Jihoon,” Joshua says, “I thought you—”

“I told you not to talk about that!” I wail, a noise that’s fortunately covered by all the meat-grilling around me, “no, I’m not going to hook up with any of your friends. Jihoon has terrible taste in people, not to mention that all your friends aren’t exactly hook-up material.”

“You take that back,” he gasps, “weren’t you talking about how you’d like to motorboat Mingyu?”

“That was platonically!”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua interjects, looking at me as though I’ve sprouted another head, “how can you, and I’m just going off on a limb here, motorboat someone platonically?”

“That’s what I said,” Jihoon grumbles, “she keeps asking me to set them up once.”

“That’s because he’s the hottest out of all your friends.” The soju is bitter as I drink it, “if I have to engage in a night of mindless sex, might as well do it with the hottest guy around.”

“Knew it,” Jihoon wags one of his fingers at me, “knew you only wanted Mingyu for his body. How dare you do that to my friend.”

“You once stole his socks.”

“Once.”

“For a whole semester.”

“Fair enough.”

“Both of you,” Joshua says loud enough for us to stop bickering, “explain it to us properly. What do you mean you’re helping her hook up with one of our friends? And why are you letting him hook you up with one of our friends?”

I shrug, “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you heard us. It’s only going to be one time.”

“Do I need to give you the talk?”

Jihoon laughs, “you do realise she’s an adult?”

“I’m not saying she can’t do anything; I’m just saying she needs to be careful!

“If I have to be careful around the rest of the guys, then maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them.”

“What do you mean she should be careful around the people who have known her for so long?”

“All of you!” Eunseo claps her hands, and like kindergarten children, we all turn to look at her, sheepish, “Josh,” she turns to the man in question, who looks sufficiently contrite, “let me have a word.”

As they leave, Jihoon pulls a face. “asshole.”

I take another shot of the soju, “he’s just looking out for me.”

“Then he shouldn’t be so overbearing about it.” Jihoon takes a look at me downing another shot, “should you be drinking this fast?”

“Don’t you start.” I say, shaking my head, “I’m going to drink enough to wipe out Joshua’s bank account.”

Jihoon says nothing, just looks at me, and then, after ten seconds, “do you want to do it?”

“Do what?”

“The date. With Mingyu.”

Maybe its just the alcohol getting to my head, or maybe its all this smoke, but his voice seems different. Is he concerned, or is he joking, as per usual? It’s confusing. Should I blame the alcohol? That seems easier, given how it’s getting to my head. “I don’t know.”

“He’s not that bad, you know. He’s a good listener, and if you want him to shut up, he will. He’s great that way.”

I stare at him. Jihoon has a strange look on his face, one that I can’t really place. Alcohol. Yes. Blame it on the alcohol. I take another shot, but before I can form a reply to him, Eunseo and Joshua are walking back to the table, hand-in-hand, identical smiles on their faces. As soon as it had come, the look in Jihoon’s eyes is gone, replaced by the usual, blasé attitude he has perfected.

“Sorry for being late,” Eunseo breezes as she settles into the table, “Joshua needed to be reminded of adult boundaries.”

“I’m sorry.” Joshua offers by way of an apology, “I overstepped.”

“Damn right you did.” Jihoon mutters.

“Apology accepted,” I smile, picking up a piece of meat, “can you order some more?”

—

Mondays are, unfortunately, the worst. Especially if one spent their Sunday evening drinking enough alcohol to lose half their memories. I slide into my seat at work, yawning as I inspect the things I have to finish working on before the end of the day.

“Morning, sunbae,” a cheery voice says, placing a cup of coffee on my desk, “you look like shit.”

“Not the time, Seungkwan,” I mutter, pressing two fingers to my forehead, “too loud, too loud.”

“Heard you got shitfaced with Jihoon and the others last night,” Seungkwan says louder, “Jihoon texted the chat with the others at two in the morning, saying how he was going to take you home.”

“He did?” thankfully, I have no recollection of this happening, so I just let him fill me in on the details, “all I remember is drinking too much at the barbecue place.”

“Celebrating Joshua’s engagement, right?” Seungkwan’s smile is irritating, and I hate how cheery he is in the morning, “he texted about that, too. The pear-cut diamond was, oof, it was something to see.”

“Why do you know about diamond cuts?”

“I grew up with sisters,” he shrugs, as if growing up with sisters imbued one with all the hidden knowledge of womankind, including, but not limited to, engagement ring diamonds and their specific cuts, “you pick up stuff from listening.”

“Jihoon told you all he took me home?” I ask, “he doesn’t usually say that kind of stuff.”

“You got especially drunk last night, so he made an exception for you.” Seungkwan grins, leaning in, “what do you think about Jihoon?”

“He’s a pain in my ass.” I mutter, switching on my computer, “also, go back to work, Seungkwan. You’re not even supposed to be here until next week!”

“Yoo-min quit, so they asked me to join a week early,” he gives me a grin that again, I try not to decode (what is it with all these men and their mysterious grins?) before settling down into the seat next to me, and promptly jumping up to subject me to a ninety-degree bow, “Boo Seungkwan, at your service!”

“Ugh,” I wince, waving at him, “sit down, for the love of god, no one needs to be that loud in the mornings.”

“You are my senior, as it happens, and I’m very keen on maintaining proper relations.”

“Get me one of those hangover cures.”

“I like the American style.”

—

To no one’s surprise, Seungkwan is a very competent worker. He’s a social butterfly, which means that he quickly endears himself to everyone at work, and by the time lunch rolls around, I have to hear praises of Seungkwan from everyone. It’s terrifying, how competent he is.

Being one of the associate editors, means I have to mostly edit the articles sent in by the reporters on ground, not to mention I get to pick and choose which issue I want to cover. I maintain as much of my professionalism as I can, while having a raging headache.

“Sunbae,” Seungkwan approaches me right before lunch, “will you be going out to cover an article?”

“I have an interview with an author after lunch, so not yet,” I reply, putting the finishing touches on a report sent in by one of our field staff, on some celebrity’s rash driving case, “I have some time.”

“Do you want to have lunch with the rest of us?” he asks, gesturing the group of five waiting behind him, “we’re going to have naengmyeon at the place down the block.”

“I have enough sense to not butt into the affairs of my juniors, Seungkwan,” I say, standing up from my chair, “here, have the card. Since its your first day here, the office should treat you.”

Seungkwan takes the offered card with a bow, and smiles brightly, “oh, but the editor said we’re having a company dinner tonight? Won’t you be joining us for that?”

“A group dinner?” I ask, and the group behind him nods their head, all in unison. It makes them look like little bobbleheads, for some reason. “Sure, I’ll join in.”

“Yes!” he seems unusually cheerful about the company dinner, which in my own experience is nothing but a pain that I had to accustom myself with when I joined the paper, “see you tonight, sunbae!”

“This kid,” I groan, picking up my coat. The prospect of lunch makes my stomach turn, and now I have to contend with dinner?

I text Jihoon while walking out of the offices. Joshua is busy with his new fiancée, and Jihoon’s building is far closer to mine that it is to Joshua’s place of work.

big dick (canon): Are u free

big dick (canon): For lunch

Unless Jihoon texts first, he takes an hour to respond at best, but as soon as I send the message, he’s typing a reply.

hoon: lunch?

hoon: if it isn’t lunch I’m killing u

hoon: dude I’ve never had a block this bad I think I’m going to go crazy

hoon: not to mention the hangover from last night is crazy

big dick (canon): it is for lunch, you idiot, why would I text u otherwise

big dick (canon): and I can agree on that, my head is killing me

hoon: is hangover soup cool with u

hoon: I know a good place

hoon: meet u at the front of your building in five

hoon: please tell me all the details about Seungkwan

“He took five minutes to get the editor to warm up to him?” Jihoon cackles, as the lady serves us two steaming bowls of seollongtang, “of course, it’s Seungkwan. He can make anyone warm up to him in minutes.”

“I fear he takes it as a challenge.” I say, spooning the milky broth into my mouth, “ah! Its hot!”

“Why can’t you just wait for a while, before eating your food?” Jihoon pours me a glass of water, “did you die of starvation in your previous life?”

“I don’t believe in that.”

“Yes, yes, Miss Atheist. Tell me what else our little dongsaeng get up to in the meantime.”

“He’s not been given a lot of work, given that it’s his first day,” I take another, more tentative sip of the broth, “but unfortunately, I’ve got to attend another company dinner tomorrow night.”

“Another company dinner? Haven’t you gone through enough pain to consider drinking again, what, barely twenty-four hours later?”

“Twenty-fours is pushing it,” I say, wincing at the sound of my own voice, “ugh, this damn hangover. I can’t even function. Let’s just eat in silence.”

“You want a cider?” Jihoon asks, looking around for the owner to ask for two cans of cider, but the owner is faster than him, setting down two cans of soda in front of us with a smile on her face.

“Your boyfriend is very caring.” She tells me, “its so nice to see someone taking care of their girlfriend so well. The sodas are on the house, okay?”

“Oh, but he’s not—” even before I’ve finished my sentence, she’s gone again, tending to her other customers. Jihoon opens one of the cans for me without saying a word.

“We should stop coming here.” I say, accepting the can from him, “why would anyone think that we’re a couple?”

“They can’t accept that men and women can just be friends, that’s why.”

“Too bad the food is great.”

Jihoon pauses for a moment, then a slow, sly smile spreads all over his face. I know that look. That look does not bode well for me, or for anyone else involved. The first time I saw Jihoon have that look on his face, Seungcheol embarrassed himself so badly in front of a group of first-year students, he refused to come out to any events where Jihoon was invited, for almost a month. This look means that he’s got some sort of evil plan in his mind, one that involves another person and their total embarrassment. He takes a look around the restaurant, and sits up straight. The words that come out of his mouth next, however—

“Babe,” Jihoon says, loud enough for half the restaurant to hear, “don’t you think this place is great?”

What the fuck?

“Jihoon, what are you doing?” my voice is a whisper, “they’re all looking at us!”

“That’s the point.” He whispers, before smiling, “you should say something too, you know. Make the whole thing more believable.”

“I don’t want to!”

“They gave us free sodas; they deserve a special performance at least.” He points to the owner, who looks like she’s about to break her face from smiling so damn broad, “sorry, my girlfriend is a very shy.”

“Oh,” the lady waves it away, “anyone can see you are in love!”

In the end, when Jihoon is paying for our lunches, she takes a final look at the two of us, and croons, “you two make a lovely couple!”

“What the fuck was that?” I turn on Jihoon as soon as we are safely out of the restaurant and far enough for anyone to eavesdrop, “Why the hell would you tell her that we’re dating?”

“Thought you needed a pick-me-up,” Jihoon grins, “at least I got you to stop worrying about things so much.”

“There are better ways of going about that than telling unsuspecting diner owners that we are dating!”

“It was funny, you have to admit,” he smiles, and I have to begrudgingly agree, “see, told you we’d make a cute couple.”

I would rather die than tell Jihoon that I agree with him on anything, so I keep quiet. Thing is; it was rather funny. Especially with how the owner reacted to us.

“And later on,” Jihoon says, holding on to my arm as we cross the road, “when you come to this place with someone else, you can just tell her that we broke up.”

“You need to stop talking about how I’m going to start dating other people.” I mutter, “just because I’ve got some frustrations I need to work out, doesn’t mean I’m going to go running into the arms of whoever it is who offers first.”

“Careful with that,” he says, standing at the crossroads where he’s supposed to walk towards his building, “you might end up regretting it.”

And with a single wave, he’s gone. I stand for about five minutes, like an idiot, while the busy crowd walks past me, trying to decode his words. Why would I regret my decision to not date someone just because I need to get over myself? Not to mention Jihoon has been behaving strangely since the previous night.

“Sunbae,” Seungkwan materialises next to me, “penny for your thoughts?”

“Jesus!” I narrowly escape jumping three feet into the air, “give a girl a warning!”

“I did call out,” he pouts. Its disconcerting how adorable he is. “You were pretty engrossed in looking into the distance to even notice my presence.”

“Are you upset?”

Seungkwan smiles, “if you agree to a badminton match with me over the weekend, I’ll overlook this slight.”

I sigh. “You drive a hard bargain,” I say, making my way into the building, “see you at the dinner, then.”

—

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embrosegraves · 1 year ago

Text

ℕ𝕖𝕩𝕥 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕃𝕖𝕔𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕤

Charles Leclerc x Reader (implied she/her) Charles and Reader name their daughters the same order as the Leclerc brothers.

Mr Charles “Girl Dad” Leclerc

Warnings: Extreme use of the red heart emoji, IT'S SO LONG I'M SO SORRY, also watch out for Google translate lmao don't trust them to be exact

Still not the best at smaus but I'm working on it (between every 'post' will be a timeskip of an unspecified amount of time. my brain can't handle doing maths more than it needs to.)

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youruser Baby Leclerc Loading...

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yourBff I'm so ready to be an Aunty → youruser One of the best ❤️

user omgomgomgomgomgomg user Is it a girl or a boy? → youruser We're waiting until the birth to find out user GUYS CHARLES MIGHT BE A GIRL DAD

carlossainz55 Charles is gonna be out of a seat soon → charles_leclerc they're going to take your seat actually → youruser please don't encourage this, they aren't even born yet

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youruser As of Nov 8 2026, please welcome Lorelei Manon Haydée Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ Charles and I are so incredibly excited to share this chapter of our lives with everyone however we plan on keeping Little Lori's face completely hidden until she can tell us otherwise. We ask that you respect our decision and that you do not go out of your way to find out what she looks like ❤️

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landonorris Hey there Little Lori Leclerc → youruser ❤️

carlossainz55 Bienvenida Pequeña Belleza translated Welcome Little Beauty → charles_leclerc Uncle Chilli reporting for duty? → carlossainz55 Of Course!

leclerc_pascale When can I see my precious grandbaby❤️ → charles_leclerc I will facetime you Maman ❤️

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youruser Round Two LETS GO

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pierregasly Another gossip buddy!!! → youruser Our gossip sessions are about to be so much cooler!

user ANOTHER ONE!! → user ok dj khalid user are you waiting to find out the gender again? → youruser ✨oui✨ user please be another girl, i need charles to be purely a girl dad

maxverstappen1 this one will be in a redbull i can feel it → youruser oh god not you too

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charles_leclerc Papa and Manon Spa Night (so Mama can try to relax before baby is born)

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youruser you have mastered the towel turban my love → youruser Lori looks so cute 😭❤️

user Charles "Girl Dad" Leclerc coming in clutch → user he's in his element user be honest /youruser did you teach him the towel turban? → youruser i mean, not on purpose? he's watched me do it so often i guess he just, learnt??? user I love how squishy she looks MY HEART--

lilymhe this qualifies as Charles' official invite to Girls Night™ → youruser i'll add him to the groupchat lmao → charles_leclerc yeah babyyyyyy

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youruser And on October 17 2027, the world said let there be Charlène Madeleine Héloïse Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ Once again, we are so so so excited to share our growing family with the world. As we did for little Lori, we will not be sharing baby ChiChi's face until she can tell us otherwise. We are so grateful that everyone respected our wishes with Lori and we ask that you respect them once more. Love Always ❤️

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LeclercLorenzo Might be early but I'm sensing a trend... → youruser 👀/charles_leclerc → charles_leclerc a trend you say?? 👀

carlossainz55 Un'altra splendida bambina ❤️ proud of you guys translated Another gorgeous baby girl → charles_leclerc Grazie Fratello ❤️ translated Thankyou Brother → youruser Grazie Chilli ❤️

leclerc_pascale Another granddaughter to spoil ❤️❤️ → youruser I fear you'll put Char out of a job Maman 😂 → charles_leclerc you cannot spoil her as much as me! 😠❤️

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charles_leclerc My Precious Girls, how your Papa loves you

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youruser My Loves 😭❤️

user Another classic Charles "Girl Dad" Leclerc moment → user omg I saw them the other day and the way Charles looks at Lori and ChiChi 😍🥰 user Charles is so in love with his girls it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside → youruser makes me wanna have another lmao → user SO REAL FOR THIS → charles_leclerc oh? 😏😏

lilymhe Why can't we have this? /alex_albon → alex_albon our sons are literally your personal bodyguards... I can't even kiss you without their permission → charles_leclerc he misses you 😂😂

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youruser 3 is a magic number

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pierregasly Do you guys ever stop? → youruser who? → pierregasly you and charles → youruser no i mean who asked?

user has anybody noticed that the age gap between each leclerc baby is basically the EXACT same as the leclerc brothers? → user OMG I WAS GONNA SAY youruser before you ask lovey /user once again we're waiting for the birth ❤️ → user honestly at this point i think everyone knows it's gonna be a girl liked by youruser user Okay, they definitely have a theme going on here with Lorenzo and Lorelei, and then literally Charles and Charlène. this one is gonna be named after Arthur i know it

charles_leclerc One more after this? → youruser no <3

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youruser Say hello to our newest arrival, Artemis Marinette Helena Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ born on October 15 2030 For the third time, Charles and I invite you to meet our (now complete) family! Just as we did with little Lori and Baby ChiChi, Mini Artie's face will be hidden until she can tell us otherwise. Forever grateful that everyone is so understanding of all our daughters' privacy, thank you all so much! get ready to see a whole bunch of the Leclerc Sisters on your feed from now on❤️

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carlossainz55 I can't keep commenting in another language now, you used all three that I know → charles_leclerc sounds like a you problem mate → youruser be grateful we're only having three kids Carlos

sebastianvettel One more for the collection → youruser my daughters are not like your cars and their bond girl names → charles_leclerc i'll be honest, i did laugh a little

LeclercLorenzo Some might say I... called it. → youruser don't even, you knew when we told you about naming Little Lori → LeclercLorenzo let me live in my delusion

kimimatiasraikkonen 👍 → youruser never change Kimi ❤️

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charles_leclerc At least Mini Artie likes to kart 🫠❤️

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georgerussell63 I think it's hilarious that not even your mini me likes karting → youruser it is the funniest thing to watch as Char sulks because of it → pierregasly I can only imagine 😂😂 → charles_leclerc what is this, bully Charles day?

user Mini Artie is gonna carry on the family legacy → user can you imagine omg youruser come back home the kids miss you → user i had to double check that this was ACTUALLY the mother of his children liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, youruser and others user I see no one else has realised that all three of the girls birthdays are THE DAY AFTER the person they're named after. → youruser believe me, that wasn't planned ((it was harder to plan than it should've been))

youruser I love you so much Char. Best father, best husband ❤️ → charles_leclerc Je t'aime encore plus, Ma Chère. Best mother, Best wife ❤️ translated I love you more, My Dear

holy shit that was long jesus christ.

uhhhhhh hope you enjoyed? reblogs and likes would be much appreciated because this took me SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO

#formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #reblog with tags i missed please and thank you

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lowkeyrobin · 11 months ago

Text

MID90S ; first kiss

includes ; fuckshit, ray & fourthgrade

warnings ; language, talk of weed, mentions of alcohol, mentions/jokes of sex

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

while at a skate park in the dark

you two were just smoking and enjoying the silence of the night

he just turns to you with a little smile

and you just go for it

quickly leads to a makeout session

you were so high you didn't even remember

the next day at Motorz, he's talking to the other boys all about it before you get there

rays like "Hey y/n. so how was your night?"

and you're totally oblivious for a minute

the others are like "yo fuckshit lied lmao"

but he stands his ground

"I'm not lying n****! dude, how high were you? do you actually not remember??"

RAY

you guys were jamming to music after closing at motorz

he turns your head to face him while one of his favorite songs is playing

then he just kisses you all within a second

"huh?"

he just smiles and shrugs

then you kiss him back before he can turn away

fuckshit comes back for a hoodie that he accidently left and walks into you two making out on the couch

"yo, can I have my hoodie?"

he's unphased but internally cheering for you guys

you quickly toss him the hoodie and get back to sucking face

then the blonde just shrugs and leaves

he immediately calls fourthgrade over the nearest payphone to tell him

and then the next morning at the court house before you and Ray show up, he gossips about it to Ruben and Stevie as well

"Yeah, Ray's dreams are now taken up by screwing y/n

FOURTHGRADE

you guys were skating around town and caught a break at a gas station

you got slushies

outside before you get back to skating, he just grabs your face, kisses you and skates away

you just sit there like "wth" and chase after him

you don't talk about it til estees party bc you were both bored and didn't want to smoke or drink with the others

"I like you"

"I can tell. I mean, feelings reciprocated"

"Seriously?"

"Uh huh"

#lowkeyrobin #olan prenatt #na-kel smith #ryder mclaughlin #fuckshit x reader #fourthgrade x reader #mid90s #mid90s x reader #ray mid90s

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lunarw0rks · 1 year ago

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gossip sessions w ghost /: late night ones to be specific. spilling secrets and you drop a major bomb on and he’s just sitting there looking at you like O__O through his mask

he's more talkative than given credit for. in public, on the field, he's obviously quite guarded unless it's mission-related.

but i feel like he's good at hiding how much he loves gossip. if you got "close" enough (good luck) he would be down for the TEA!! from the outside looking in, it seems like you're talking his ear off and he isn't even listening. but he is.

let's be honest, he's the root of some drama at the base lmao. and no one would suspect him anyway, so it's the perfect covert op of spreading gossip!!

#rachel speaks #not writing #simon riley headcanons #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost headcanons #simon ghost riley headcanons #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost x y/n #simon riley x reader #mw2 #call of duty

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hunterbunter3000 · 2 years ago

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in conclusion. Sweetheart is Prices princess, Soaps handler/gossip buddy, Gaz therapist, and Ghost cuddle buddy (people doesnt need to know wbout that tho)

You gyat damn right. 100%

Totally didn't forget that this was in my asks no no nope I'm so sorry

Even tho she's everyone's princess, Price is the KIINNGGGG of princess treatment (🤭) Always complimenting her, praising her, touching her, buying her gifts, touchinggggg hheerrrrr, always helping her out of cars, down the stairs and helicopters. Sweetheart is his princess. He wants to make her his Queen tho

Soap and Sweetheart are definitely best friends first, and romantic feelings last (only Soap feels this tho LMAO) Like omg they do so many things together, but his favorite is tea and gossip time. Like they'd just be having a tea party in Soaps room, drinking hot tea and Sweetheart would tell Soap the deets everytime 💀

Sweetheart: Bitch, did you know that the janitor DIED

Soap: BITCH NO WAY HOW

Sweetheart: He slipped and his mop WENT UP HIS ASS AND SPEARED HIM THROUGH HIS STOMACH

Soap, spitting out his tea: OMMGGGGG YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN LYIN

Sweetheart: BITCH IM NOOOTTTT

And Gaz-- omg Gaz... He's so baby to me when it comes to Sweetheart 🥹 especially asking for help. He would peek in her dorm and knock on her wall. "Gaz? Hey, what's wrong?" She asks. His eyes would be soft and his brows would crease a bit, like a sad nervous puppy. "Uhm," he would start. And Sweetheart knew immediately what he needed. "Can I chat with you? Just for a bit" He would say with a soft voice. JUST-- PLEASE and she would smile and say "Of course, honey." And she would hold him while he talks out what he was feeling and just-- FFFFUCK IT MAKES ME MELT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAKES ME MELT?? GHOST AND SWEETHEART-- BEING CUDDLE BUDDIES like she would sneak to his dorm and do their special knock that they have for cuddle sessions (EHEHEHE) and he would open it and yank her in. She would always snort cause he's so needy for her cuddles. Like he would just hug her close and nuzzle into her neck, smelling her and that just puts him at ease. He waddles, Sweets still I'm his arms, and they fall on his bed. They get comfortable in each other and Simon knocks tf OUT. OUT LIKE A LIGHT (and no one knows cause Sweetheart wakes up early and goes back to her own room HA)

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hwaslayer · 1 year ago

Text

project: make you love me (jyh) | six.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, sweet yuyu per usual, seonghwa moment (sorry yes he's back briefly lmao), crying & some overthinking, next few chapters will prob feel like lil filler chapters while things progress between oc x yunho <33 we are almost there yall, promise!!

Yunho parks his car in the driveway, clicking the key fob to make sure his doors are locked after he grabs his things from the trunk. Entering the house, it's a lot quieter than expected— typically, he has family members or close neighbors over even if they're just there to sit in the kitchen and gossip with his aunt and mom.

When he sets his things down and walks further into the house, he realizes why it's so quiet in the house.

"Yunho! Our handsome boy!" His aunt yells from the backyard where she sits with his mom, two neighbors and their two friends. Yunho feels the heat rise to his cheeks because even though this is happens constantly— he's still not used to the praising and babying from his own family members.

"Hi." He gives them a toothless smile and waves, helping himself to a seat right next to his mom. "Miss Universe herself, how are you feeling?" His mom chuckles before playfully hitting his arm.

"I'm doing okay, my love. I missed you."

"I'm here now, right? Did your appointment go okay?" He swings his arm around her chair and focuses all of his attention on her.

"Yeah, it went perfectly fine. I felt a bit tired and weak afterwards, but nothing some good rest and food couldn't fix." Yunho nods.

"Okay, that's good."

"How about you, tell me all about school? I think your mom is missing some details." She says with a small smirk and Yunho can't help but playfully roll his eyes.

"Didn't you wanna go to the grocery store?" He changes the subject, his aunt immediately catching on to the shift in his body language.

"Yunho has a girlfriend, I think." She says to her neighbors while smirking at him. Yunho's mom laughs it off, standing to save her son from the oncoming comments, teasing, etc etc.

"Suho." His mom says in a scolding manner, slight drip of playfulness to it. "Don't you have a list of things we need to get at the grocery store?"

"Oh shit, you're right." She says, hurrying into the kitchen for her list. Yunho laughs and bids farewell to their friends, following his mom and aunt into the kitchen. His mom grabs the list from her sister, asking if she needs anything else or if she wants food from anywhere before they return. She simply says no and says she'll be heading out with her friends soon— that the both of them should just enjoy shopping and eating wherever they'd like.

And so with that, Yunho carefully helps his mom get settled before hopping into the driver's seat. His music is softly playing in the background, while his mom continues to tell him about how her appointments have been and the people she's encountered. He starts to laugh when she mentions one of the technicians at the dialysis center, and how she's bragged about him to her countless times.

"Okay mom, I appreciate it but you don't have to play cupid." He smiles at her before shifting his attention back to the road.

"I know, but sometimes I worry about you." She gently squeezes his bicep. "I can't help it because I'm your mom. You do a great job taking care of everyone else, sometimes I just want someone to help take care of you."

"I'll be okay."

"I know, I know." She lets out a breath before toothlessly smiling at him. "But, you get where I'm coming from."

"I think so."

"What about your friend?"

"What friend?"

"From school? The one you talked about, you know? Helping with her assignments."

"Oh, right." Yunho chuckles. "What about her?"

"Well, what's her name?"

"You're gonna look for her on Facebook."

"I am not." She playfully hits him, making him laugh.

"Her name is Y/N."

"Beautiful name. I'm sure she's very pretty." Yunho shrugs.

"Y-yeah she is. But, we're really just friends. We click pretty easily. Surprisingly."

"What do you mean surprisingly? You're the sweetest and the friendliest boy I know. And I'm not saying that because I'm your mother."

"You're definitely saying that because you're my mother." He laughs.

"Why don't you see where it goes?"

"I never said I wouldn't." He laughs a bit. "I'm also not going to force anything."

"That's fair. She seems to be a good friend, though."

"She is. She's sweet."

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Yunho!" You happily head down the steps when you see him standing there, patiently waiting for you. He has his hands dug deep into his pockets, hood on his head. A small, tiny smile tugs at the corner of his lips when you finally come face to face and stand in front of his towering figure. "Hey you." You gently poke at his arm.

"What's up?" He starts to lead the way with slow, steady steps— walking down his usual path around the complex.

"Kinda just wanted to take a quick walk."

"Feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You're telling me. How's practice been?"

"Practice is practice. It's fun to be doing it with friends though." He nods, silently walking alongside of you. "How's Yeosang?" He chuckles.

"Yeosang is Yeosang. Currently still yelling at his screen."

"You guys should game together."

"We do when he decides to play Valorant, but he's more into League." He scratches at his temple. "I must sound very attractive right now." You laugh a bit.

"That sounds very fun. You'll have to teach me one day."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, why not. I'd probably have to play on a dummy account or something so I don't ruin your level." You tilt your head in confusion. "Ranks? Whatever they're called." He smiles.

"Fair." You laugh.

"Wow, so you don't believe in my abilities, huh?"

"You said it first."

"Yunho." You whine, making him laugh a little loudly this time.

"I'm kidding. I believe in you. It's really not that bad." You smile, but it quickly fades when you almost bump into Yunho just as he suddenly stops in his tracks. "Look." He looks down at you, then points upwards. "The moon." You stand beside him and look up at the moon.

"It's beautiful."

"Hm, yeah." He snaps a photo. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stop."

"No, please. I like seeing these parts of you." He smiles.

"Yeah?" You nod. "You don't think it's odd?"

"I could never think that way about you, Yunho." You playfully tap his arm. "Seriously. It's nice to see someone appreciate the moon."

"Someone has to." You giggle as you both continue to slowly walk alongside each other, arm brushing against one another.

♣︎ END

"Please don't forget to bring her by one day. I'd still like to meet her."

"Meet her?"

"You've been happier lately, and that's all I could ask for. She sounds lovely."

"Okay." Yunho nods and smiles at her just as he pulls into the lot of the market.

Yunho patiently goes around with his mom, placing every item she needs into the cart while she points out what's needed. They spend a good 45 minutes, close to an hour, just taking their time buying what's needed and other necessities. Afterwards, Yunho takes his mom to her favorite Chinese restaurant. They spend time talking about all things school-related and what his plans might be for the near future.

And Yunho loves being home, don't get him wrong. He'd always spend time with his family over anything. But, he couldn't help but think of you— especially after his mom brought you up.

He hopes you're okay. Maybe he'll check on you tonight.

Tonight, you wrap up your homework and waddle over to the couch— joining Seungmin and Chaery in the living room while they watch their show. Soobin is cooking himself some dinner since he just got back not too long ago from the library.

"Any of you guys want some ramen before I shut this off?"

"Nope!" Seungmin yells loudly even though he's just in the living room.

"Same. Thanks Soobinnie." Chaery says in a sing-song tone. You simply look at Soobin with a small smile, shaking your head before returning your attention to your phone. A text comes in and you're [slightly] surprised at who it is— but, you definitely can't say that it doesn't put a smile on your face.

yunho: take a look at the moon if you haven't yet.

But, your smile instantly fades when you can't respond right away. A call cuts through on your screen, and it's probably the last person you want to speak to right now— even though you know you need to.

"Hello?" You answer nonchalantly, not in the mood to speak to Seonghwa.

"Hey. Are you free right now?" You sigh and look at the clock. 10pm.

"Yeah, I am."

"Can you come down? I'm here in my car."

"For what, Seonghwa?" You hear him sigh heavily on the other line before speaking up again.

"I just want to talk. We haven't talked in days and I'm trying to figure out what's going on between us."

"Seonghwa—"

"Y/N, please. That's all I'm asking for." He says in a serious tone. You roll your eyes and purse your lips together, pausing for a moment before responding.

"Fine. I'll be down in a few."

"Alright." And with that, you end the call— sliding your phone into the pocket of your sweats before forcing yourself off of the couch to grab the nearest jacket.

"My jacket?" Soobin watches as you snatch his jacket off of the dining table chair.

"I just need it for a second. Please?" You pout and he nods.

"Where are you going?" Chaery asks while her and Seungmin continue to watch their show, her eyes fixed on the TV.

"Seonghwa wants to talk."

"Oh, jeez." She says. "Goodluck with that, hun. Call if you need anything."

"Yup!" You slip into your crocs, dragging your feet down the steps and to Seonghwa's car. He's parked by the curb, windows slightly rolled down so you're able to catch a peek of him. He's staring down at the phone near his lap, the light illuminating his face. He texts away even as you approach the door, but chucks it into his middle console after he's sent whatever he needed to send. You plop onto the passenger's seat and avoid eye contact, crossing your arms as you look straight ahead at the car in front of his.

"Hi to you, too." He furrows his brows a bit.

"So, what is it Seonghwa?" You finally turn to him and let out a barely audible sigh.

"Baby, come on." Seonghwa clicks his teeth and pouts a bit. He slips his hand on your thigh and lets it rest there. "I said I was sorry. I know I fucked up majorly, but something just came up and—"

"Something came up? Something always comes up for you. You couldn't even take one second to text me or let me know? It doesn't take much."

"I know, I thought I was going to be able to make it in time."

"Right. I've heard that before."

"I'm sorry." He repeats.

"Heard that before too." You shake your head. "Seonghwa, I think we should just stop doing this, okay? Clearly, you have better things to worry about and I'm just tired."

"W-what?" He looks at you, really looks at you. Almost in disbelief. Probably disbelief. "Baby, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna lose you."

"It doesn't matter if you do, you always have someone to fall back onto." You shoot back, and he's silent. Of course he is. "I thought so."

"No, you're not giving me time to get my thoughts together." He panics. "Y/N, baby. Please. Hear me out. I don't wanna lose you. I really don't. I know I fucked up time and time again, but I'll do better. It's always been you and—"

"You're only worried about losing the idea of me, someone who will be there as your safety blanket when other shit doesn't pull through for you. You aren't actually worried about me, and you know I'm right." He scoffs and shakes his head, but he doesn't say anything, no. He can't say anything because he knows it's true. He quickly deflects and brings up the one thing that has been running his last nerve lately:

"Why don't you just say that it's Yunho?"

"This has nothing to do with Yunho, Seonghwa! I'm so tired. It's been months of this back and forth bullshit, don't you get it? It's so clear what this means to you, and I don't wanna stick around, waiting for somebody that doesn't even care about me."

"Don't say that I don't care—"

"You don't!" Your tone raises a bit, and this is when it settles that Seonghwa isn't good for you. He will never be good for you, good to you. He will never change, and you will never find an ounce of pure, genuine happiness being stuck here. "You really don't. You can't claim that when I've caught you multiple times doing shit behind my back, let alone left my ass in the cold like I was easily disposable. Multiple times." Tears are pricking your bottom lids and you're not sure if it's because of everything you've been through or if it's because you feel bad for yourself— for settling, for letting him walk over you. You are aware that, however this ends, you'll need to take a moment and say your peace to it. "I'm so done with it, Hwa. I don't need this."

"Wait, Y/N. Please." He says, hand giving your thigh a gentle squeeze so you don't up and leave right away.

"No. We're just going to go in circles and repeat the cycle. This is done—"

"How can I fix this?" You furrow your brows and shake your head, letting out a scoff.

"You really have to ask? If you really wanted to know, you would've asked that question a long time ago." You remove his hand from your thigh.

"So, that's it?" He asks because he doesn't know how else to respond without sounding even more pathetic. "Y/N." Hwa panics again when he sees you swing the door open, stepping out without saying another word to him. Though, he couldn't really tell you why he panicked— perhaps, yeah, it's the thought of losing you, but mainly his image. How he'd look if people ever found out that you left him first.

And you know this already.

In plain words, he's just worried about losing another girl on his list. Especially the one that was always there for him, the one that rarely gave him issues. Didn't get strung up too quickly, didn't really press him for shit over the months.

Damn.

Even though you said it had nothing to do with him, Seonghwa still thinks Yunho played a part in it. And that's fucking annoying.

"Y/N!" You hear him call for you again, even after you've slammed his door and stormed off to your apartment. You feel the tears pricking your lids again, and you're doing your best to hold it in. But eventually, the tears stream down your cheeks; one by one.

This is you saying your peace.

Then, you'll move on. As you should.

"Baby is back!" Chaery cheers but her smile instantly fades when she sees you wiping away at your face. "Aw no, baby. What happened?" You shrug as she comes to you and pulls you into her arms.

"I just ended it with Seonghwa."

"Oh shit, good for you! Finally!" Seungmin is still sitting on the floor, so he flicks her on the leg. "Ow! The heck?"

"What she means to say is that everything's gonna be okay, and that it's okay to cry if you need to." He looks at her and she follows with a slow nod.

"Yes, absolutely." You wipe the remaining stragglers and shake it off, returning Soobin's jacket to the dining chair.

"It's fine, I'll be okay. I needed to do that." You look at them with a reassuring expression. "It's just time to move past this." Chaery rubs your back.

"Do you need anything?" You shake your head.

"No, but I'm going to head into the room and just chill for the night."

"Okay." Chaery gives you a small smile.

"Get some rest." Soobin adds.

"I will." You head off to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. It's still early but you don't think you'll be sleeping anytime soon with the thoughts that are currently bombarding your head. It does suck to finally part from something that no longer serves you, but you know it's for the best.

You were done.

Suddenly, you remember Seonghwa bringing up Yunho and it begins to irritate you. How dare he? He knows nothing about Yunho, and you hate how he's the first one he tries to blame. Shame that he's grown but can't take full responsibility for his actions. Until this day, Seonghwa has yet to fully acknowledge everything he's done.

He still finds a way to beat around the bush, implying that he did no wrong.

You shut off the lights and lay in bed with the mood lamp on, picking up your phone to finally respond to people. You sent your mom and sister a quick text before switching to Yunho's thread— realizing you still haven't responded to his last text.

you: ugh, that picture is perfect. the moon is sooo pretty tonight. 🥺

you: sorry for the late response, kinda got wrapped up with something super last min. how's your weekend going?

yunho: why the sad face? 😣

you: it'd be nice if we could go on a walk and look at the moon together.

yunho: aw yeah, that does sound nice. but, i hope the picture at least put a smile on your face.

yunho: & you don't have to apologize. but, it's been nice being at home and catching up with my family. what about you? everything okay?

you: i don't know? it's okay, i guess. just kinda tired.

yunho: you sure that's it?

you: no. 😕 but, it's nothing really.

yunho: calling you in a few, is that okay?

you: more than okay!

You continue to scroll through your phone for a couple of more minutes before Yunho's name lights up on the screen. A small smile pulls at your lips just as you pick up the call, Yunho rustling around in the background.

"Hi." You hear a bit more rustling before Yunho is letting out a [content] sigh.

"Hey, sorry. Just got in bed."

"That's okay." You chuckle. "I'm also lying down and just being lazy."

"Good, you should just rest." Yunho clears his throat. "You okay?"

"Mm, I don't know. I guess."

"What's going on?"

"I ended things with Seonghwa tonight." He remains silent for a bit before he responds with a—

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Again, just moving on." You chuckle a bit. "I did cry a teensy weensy bit, but I needed to let it out in order to let it go."

"Yeah, totally understandable. You sure you're okay? It's okay if you aren't."

"I am okay. It does suck though, we argued and then I just—" You pause. "I don't know. I guess I realized how this wasn't good for me. Everything came crashing down and I was so over it."

"Mhm." He softly answers, letting you continue on.

"I don't wanna keep being like that, you know? I don't say much, but I always feel anxious and stressed. I always end up thinking about what Seonghwa will do to hurt me next. That sounds so bad, but it's the best way to put it." You sigh. "It's just not good."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. It's not. But, it's okay if you aren't okay right now. Take your time."

"Thanks Yunho. Seriously. I'll be good." You let out a small, breathy laugh. "Just a moment of weakness."

"Not weakness." There's a small pause as you let Yunho's response sink.

"Hey, by the way. We're doing a scary movie night thing at our apartment soon. Do you wanna come over and join us?"

"Hm." He hums, thinking about whether or not he should just do it.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Fun for you because I'm sure I'll end up as your punching bag when things get too scary." You chuckle.

"No, not even! Seriously. We'll have lots of food."

"What movie are you planning to put on?"

"Would that be a dealbreaker?" You tease.

"Maybe." He plays along.

"I truly have no idea yet."

"Alright then." He laughs. "Yeah, I'll join." You gasp.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He reiterates.

"Aw, yay! I hope you didn't feel pressured or obligated." Yunho sits on his response for a bit; no, he doesn't feel that way. It might be new hanging out with you and your friends, but he was looking forward to just being in your company.

"Never that."

"I'll text you all the details later." You yawn.

"Sleepy?"

"Kinda. Just exhausted."

"I can go if you—"

"Stay. You're good. Even though I might fall asleep soon." You giggle.

"That's fine." Yunho answers. The two of you continue to talk a bit about how home has been for Yunho and what you had been up to over the weekend. After the cute giggles and playful teasing, there's a nice, comforting silence that falls between you two. Yunho almost believes you've fallen asleep until you sleepily break the silence by calling his name.

"Yunho?" There you go, calling his name like you always do. It's becoming a weakness for him.

"Hm?"

"Thanks for always showing me the moon."

"Course." He matches your tone, and responds close to a whisper. Another silence settles in, but Yunho is positive you've fallen asleep due to the very small and soft snores he hears on the other line. He chuckles to himself before setting his phone aside, keeping the call connected on speaker in case anything went wrong.

He'd be there.

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