#feel like a gossip session LMAO

[kavehater]

I adored my history teacher in year nine but I think her telling us how elvis’ dance moves were inherently sexual and the fact that he was ***mimicking*** certain things WAS A VERY NOT OKAY THING TO SAY HELLO ???

[malusokay]

Things that I simply LOVE 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

lacy bras and pretty lingerie

oatmeal and HOT coffee on rainy days

layering perfumes

putting notes and annotations in books

coming up with code names for the guys that we are talking to

writing letters to my friends even though we talk daily

making playlists for every occasion but its all just Lana

starting chats with "GIRL" to signal urgency

big earrings and too many bracelets

hosting brunch and dinner at my place

shitposting on main

trying a new makeup and actually liking the result

wearing sweats and a bra as my at-home fit

seeing results when dieting and working out

boy gossip after long days of studying lmao

posting ig stories and yapping

making tumblr gifs of myself

decorating for holidays way too early

going to the store and smelling every scented candle until I find the perfect one

same for the tea section. I love tea.

being asked where my clothes are from

when I smile at old people and they smile back

the feeling of your brain being slow and numb after a good study session

staying up to talk to my girls

doing my skincare after a day of not wearing makeup

floortime

having a cold and therefore not feeling guilty for being lazy (unfortunately, I am a workaholic)

tiktok tarot readings that feed into my delusions

these are just things that I PERSONALLY love, and if you get it, were besties. <3

my insta -> @ malusokay

[suga-kookiemonster]

ctrl-alt-del | jjk (teaser)

summary⇢ you graduated bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but, to your extreme disappointment, your big girl job isn't turning out to be nearly as exciting as you thought it would be. still, you're holding out hope that your talents will soon be recognized and your coworkers will stop trying to include you in their gossip sessions. enter jungkook, the quiet IT guy who's gradually making your days more bearable. (and if you find him easy on the eyes, that's nobody's business but yours.) pairing⇢ jungkook/reader teaser word count⇢ 1.4k genre⇢ smut | humor | office!au warnings⇢ nothing too bad for this teaser! just a mention of oral

a/n⇢this fic has literally been sitting in my wips for YEARS lmao. i feel like it's finally time to set it free 🕊️✨ it's looking like it's gonna lean more towards pwp, but there's definitely still enough plot in there to keep it interesting. not sure when it will be up, but wanted to share a snippet to get your thoughts and get myself excited to finish the last leg--fingers crossed for the next month or so 🤞🏾🙌🏾💜

When you graduated top of your class with a marketing degree and a job already lined up, you weren’t big-headed to assume you would be given a lot in the beginning. No, you knew that you were the new kid on the block and needed to prove yourself first, needed to work your way up from the bottom. But what you definitely didn’t anticipate was working up from thefigurative trenches, almost exclusively doing busywork—constantly making coffee runs, catering business lunches, printing out endless spreadsheets.

Eighty-thousand dollars in debt, and you are a glorified intern.

You’re positively itching to hit the ground running and get your hands dirty, your job isn’t too bad. The people there are all nice and welcoming, the complimentary coffee in the break room is decent enough for your dwindling bank account, and every couple of weeks, the company sponsors an employee barbecue were everyone can fraternize and enjoy free food.

“Apparently it fosters unity and teamwork,” your coworker Joy informs you as you both stand in the food line. “Seokjin—that’s our CEO—is really big on unity and teamwork.”

Joy is also a member of your marketing team. Though as sweet as can be, she has no filter, and thus always has a lot to say about everything—which has helped you when it comes to learning the ropes about the company, but has also had you clutching your imaginary pearls in some situations where you found it inappropriate. Despite only being a year older than you, her title of Marketing Associate (instead of your measly Assistant)means that she technically outranks you, though she doesn’t usually enforce that fact (unless there was something that needed to be copied or filed, of course). Still, she immediately took you under her wing when you first started, and she is the closest person to a friend you have at work (even though her daily coffee order is always so ridiculous, you are convinced that she has to be fucking with you—or at least engaging in some form of mild hazing.).

“I think it’s nice,” you reply. “I’ll never say no to free food, and they let us out early and everything.”

“I mean, pretty sure you can get the hotdogs twelve in a pack at the dollar store,” Joy quips, raising her eyebrows at you pointedly. “But sometimes the boys from Sales take their shirts off and play soccer, so there’s that.”

Your eyes dart to said Sales boys against your will, gaze drawn to Jung Hoseok as he chats animatedly with his teammates by the tables. You’ve only spoken to him once or twice, but his fiery red hair and even brighter smile caught your attention immediately, your heart rate accelerating at the sight of him in hallways mere days into starting your new position. Who better to have a mild work crush on than a sweet-talking salesman who winks at you sometimes in passing?

An appreciative noise has you turning back around, embarrassed at being caught ogling how shapely Hoseok’s butt looks in his dress pants today, but it’s just Wendy from accounting, Joy’s best friend and thus a harmless, familiar face. Wendy has cut in front of a few editors to join you and Joy, and the way that she smiles at you lets you know she’s up to no good. “He’s cute, huh?” she asks, leaning towards you conspiratorially. “I would definitely give him the good ol’ suck behind the dumpsters over there, if you catch my drift.”

“Err…yeah, I do,” you reply awkwardly. She had been explicitly clear—keyword explicit—so there definitely isn’t any room for misunderstandings. Is this truly appropriate work function conversation? From the way the editors behind you are politely clearing their throats, you think not.

“Behind the dumpster?” Joy asks curiously. “He’s standing right next to some sturdy tables that I, for one, would take great advantage of—”

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” you announce loudly, your neck heating up. “Can you grab me a hot dog, Joy?”

“Sure,” she says dismissively, already distracted by her sudden debate with Wendy about the most convenient place to suck off salesman Jung.

The whole conversation is making you uncomfortable. You are not a prude—far from it—but there is a time and place for everything, and your coworkers’ blasé attitude towards speaking about inappropriate topics at company functions on company time rattles you a bit. So instead of engaging in the risqué discussion further, you make your way to the cluster of brightly-colored coolers that presumably hold beverages, sidling up to the only other person lingering the area.

“Anything good?” you ask cordially, making your coworker, who had apparently been deep in thought while considering his beverage options, startle a bit.

He’s tall, his large frame covered in the appropriate business casual attire of nice jeans and a powder-blue buttonup. When he turns his head to look at you, you’re met with large, dark eyes blinking in surprise from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Said eyes dart around for a moment before determining that you were, in fact, speaking to him.

The man clears his throat. “Just the usual,” he says, voice soft. Timid.

“The usual?” you repeat. There are little hoops dangling from his earlobes, and you brush off your surprise at seeing them, returning your gaze to the coolers. Water, a clear soda, a cola. “The basics, you mean. Well, can’t really complain, right? Seeing as it’s all free. I think it’s really nice of them.”

Your companion seems surprised at your words. “It is,” he agrees softly, eyes meeting yours for a second before dropping back down to the cooler. “Um, are you...are you new?”

“Damn, I guess my cover’s blown.” You shoot him a wry smile. “Yeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago. What gave it away?”

“It’s just—no one else here really cares about these barbecues anymore,” he admits, looking at you, but not quite. More like, in your direction. “Everyone has forgotten to appreciate the little things.”

“Nothing is a given,” you shrug. “So you need to appreciate things when you can. And besides, those lots of little things can really add up without you realizing it.”

He finally seems to look at you properly, and the weight of his large, gentle brown eyes throws you off for a second. “They can,” he agrees, lips slowly drifting up. 

“What do we have over here?” a loud voice interrupts, a hand falling to your shoulder. You look up, and are met with the brightness of salesman Jung.

“Ah,” Hoseok says with a wink, reaching into the cooler. “I love Sprite.”

“Me too,” you reply automatically, and then immediately want to smack yourself. Because you don’t—carbonated beverages make you break out. But your mouth had formed the lie without your permission.

Embarrassed, you reach into the cooler, grabbing three water bottles. “See you later,” you squeak, avoiding eye contact as you make your escape.

Joy and Wendy are already watching you when you return to where they have procured a table, and when you hand them their waters, Joy raises an eyebrow. “I was wondering how long you were going to talk to that IT guy.”

“Yeah, and why did you leave when Hoseok showed up?” Wendy pouted. “_____, the universe is only going to give you so many opportunities. If you don’t want the ball, then pass it to me! Goddamn.”

“IT guy?” you ask, hoping to slide past that last remark.

“Yeah. His name is Jungkook, I think? Mostly works with the printers, started a couple months ago.” Joy shrugs, obviously disinterested by the topic. She reaches for the ketchup bottle in the center of the table and squirts some on her hot dog. “This is the first time I’ve seen him at a barbecue, though. Honestly, I’m surprised he even came out, because the IT dudes generally keep to themselves. The rarely leave their little tower,” she adds with a dismissive wave.

Wendy scoffs. “Who cares about Jeremy! Hurry up and eat, I’m sure Sales is gonna start their soccer game soon.”

“Soccer game?” you ask.

“The sales department likes to play soccer during these things,” Joy informs you. Her expression brightens. “Hey, maybe Hoseok will take his shirt off again! Let us pray.”

To your coworkers’ disappointment, Hoseok did not take his shirt off. But they certainly had a good time watching him run back and forth across the grass.

[verycoolusername1]

Don't think you understand

Summary: Quinn can't get ahold of his feelings, which leads him to push you away unintentionally.

Track 8 of short n' sweet - dumb & poetic

Warning! Slight miscommunication

A/N: This does have a happy ending :) and it's short. I apologize for that!! I just wanted to post something for the short n sweet masterlist(been delaying it)

And I gave you guys a bridgerton love confession kinda so enjoy that lmao

You haven't talked to him in weeks. The man was your best friend and you haven't talked to him in two months, how did this even happen?

Hmm, maybe when you had confessed your feelings to Quinn around the same time, you left without an answer, analyzing the blank look on his face, bringing enough of one for you.

This was your fifth tub of ice cream in two weeks, while on a call with Luke(and Jack, who also joined the supposed gossip session).

"Wait, so let me get this straight." Jack said, collecting his thoughts. "You told him you were in love with him, and he didn't say anything or have any reaction which led to you two not talking anymore?"

"Well, it certainly helps hearing it out loud." You grumbled.

"Sorry! I just need to recap so I know why I have to slap him when I next see him." Jack mutters the last part.

"You know, for him being the oldest, he sure is stupid." Luke chuckles.

"Pretty sure I'm the stupid one here, I mean, I thought he actually liked me back." You smiled Sadly.

"You think he doesn't like you in that way?" Jack asked, you nodded.

"Yeah, no, Quinn's definitely in love with you, Y/N. Have you seen the way he looks at you? The way his eyes seem to shine brighter when he talks about you." Luke shrugged.

"Okay, now you guys are feeding into my delusions." You rolled your eyes. "I lost my best friend because I couldn't control my feelings about him. And now I'm sitting on my kitchen floor, crying to Conan Gray while eating Ben & Jerry's."

There was a sudden knock on your door. Who could that be? It was late in the night in Vancouver.

"I'll be right back guys, don't hang up." You warned.

You walked up to the door and looked through the peephole and saw the man of the house standing on the other side. You unlocked it. How could you not?

"Quinn? What are you doin-?" You were cut off with Quinn kissing you passionately. You melted in the kiss before slowly breaking apart.

"I'm in love with you too." Quinn confessed. "I think I've been in love with you the moment I saw you falling off the swing when we were kids, if I'm being honest. It's very easy to fall in love with someone as special, charming, kind, heartless, caring, and comforting as you. I can't imagine being with anyone else other than you. And I don't even want to think about how sorry I am for not realizing it until now. But I love you Y/N, and I don't think I can ever stop - No, I know that I can't and won't."

Now it your time to be in shock.

"I understand if I'm too late, I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry for kissing you. I just wanted to know what it felt if it was the only time -" You cut Quinn off by kissing him.

"I love you too." You whispered. "Gosh you're so dumb and poetic."

Quinn chuckles. "What does that even mean?" He followed you into the house.

"Y/N!!! Did you get kidnapped? Omg Luke what if we gotta call the cops and tell them what happened and we gotta tell them she was crying about our idiotic brother-"

"Jack shut up." Luke looked at his brother bewildered.

"I'm just saying, could be a possibility." Jack mutters.

"I'm not dead guys." You picked up the phone.

"Y/N! You're alive. What happened? Who was at the door?" Luke asked, Jack chuckling behind him.

"Oh you know just this really hot guy." You answered simply.

"Okay? How hot was he? Is he gonna make you get over Quinn?" Jack asked.

"Very hot and no." You answered.

Quinn came into frame behind you, kissing you on your neck.

Jack and Luke's jaw drops. "No way!" "What the hell?"

"There are children present in this conversation, you guys are disgusting." Jack gestured to Luke who shoved him in response. "I'm 21!"

"Bye guys." Quinn hung up the phone.

"That was rude, you know." You looked back at him.

"I know, I just wanted to kiss you without them bickering." Quinn mumbles.

"And to think I was just crying over you not too long ago." You recalled.

"I'll make up for every tear you shed for my stupidity, I promise." Quinn's nose brushes yours.

"I know you will." You leaned in closer.

[shinysobi]

pretty u

summary: when joshua, your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but feel as though you're missing out on something important. jihoon, your other best friend, kindly offers to set you up with one of his many friends. chaos ensues, seungkwan is an observer who knows everything, and unfortunately, mingyu is a hapless victim.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader

genre: crack, fluff, angst

word count: 10k~ish

warnings: alcohol consumption, general warnings apply

A/N: uhh..hi? this is the first time i've written rpf, and it makes all the more sense for it to be centred around woozi, my svt bias. this has no plot at all, and i just wrote it for fun and vibes...also unbetaed, so if you see any mistakes, no u did not :)) shout out to my twitter gc for cheering me on as i wrote this hehe u guys are the best

a/n 2: reblogs and comments are much appreciated! please tell me if you're liking this lmao

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

Chapter 1

Whoever said that every love story is universal, was not lying, unfortunately. Every good love story is a mix of tropes that unfortunately work well together to form a coherent plot. And the longer you read books, the easier it becomes for you to identify (or avoid) these tropes.

The enemies turn into lovers.

The friends turn into lovers.

The inn only has one available bed.

Your brother’s best friend is somehow smoking hot and doesn’t see you as an annoying little sibling anymore.

Your one-night stand is your new boss, and he is inexplicably obsessed with you.

Your parents have forced you into an arranged marriage, and your partner is a. incredibly hot and b. also obsessed with you. You get the gist, so on, and so forth.

All love stories go for a trope that becomes the central conceit of the story, no matter how unique they try to be. The small-town girl/boy falls for the hotshot city lawyer/businessman/vague marketing executive and shows them the importance of family, and of course, of love, because without it, business is notoriously low. People need romance to feel something other than hatred in their already terrible lives, and books offer escapism. Escapism and on some other level, a sense of belonging. You can identify yourself with the girl who falls in love with her brother’s best friend, or the man who has feelings for his sworn enemy, or the person who has, surprise, fallen in love, with their best friend. Or their best friend’s brother. Take your pick.

And unfortunately, as a critic, reading romance implies wading through the countless reiterations of trope-y goodness on offer at every bookstore, and trying to find something that strikes a chord. It is a given, that one has to kiss some proverbial frogs in the meantime, and of course, any professional mishap has to be accompanied with a gossip session with one’s friends, where any complaints you might have about your work, is unloaded onto the brunch table, for my friends to laugh about.

Because at the end of the day, everyone is a character in their own kind of romance novel. A victim of the tropes, if you will. In my case, I am the perpetual single childhood best friend, who puts up with every single antic of the main character. In of course, an enemies-to-lovers romance. Apparently unrequited love sells too, if its written well. If not, then it just becomes one of many repetitive marketing gimmicks that frankly, don’t sit well with anyone, let alone someone like me, who critiques books for a living.

“It’s your attitude that’s a problem.” Jihoon says, taking a sip of his coffee, “you’ve been writing for the newsdesk for years and I have never seen you actually be satisfied with a book. There’s always something that could have been better. Maybe this is why you are so—”

“I am so?” I say, eyes narrowed, “finish that sentence, Jihoon.”

“You want me to?”

“Do you really have to fight every time we meet?”

Both Jihoon and I turn our head to the third person at the table, Joshua. Dressed impeccably in a freshly ironed pair of shirt and trousers, he looks far better than either me or Jihoon, because both of us look as though we have been through botched murder attempts. I am in a hoodie and sweatpants, and Jihoon is somehow worse than me, wearing a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt. His abandoned khaki bomber jacket hangs on the back of his chair, and I cannot believe I’m saying this, but he actually looks worse when wearing the jacket. Joshua looks as though he has been seated at our table by mistake. I’m slightly annoyed by this, but it seems as though Jihoon is more annoyed than me, “what do you mean we fight every time we meet?”

Joshua makes a vague hand gesture, “really? Look at us. You both are dressed as though you’ve been through a typhoon. I feel horribly overdressed.”

“I had a long night.” I reply, “worked overtime at the desk for the Sunday paper.”

“I came here straight from the studio.” Jihoon says, “I didn’t even go home to shower.”

“See, this, this is what I am talking about.” Joshua groans, “both of you dress like homeless people, and then when you come to brunch, you fight all the time. Do you guys never get tired of fighting?”

“Never.” Both Jihoon and I say in unison.

Joshua sighs, before picking up his knife and fork, “I give up. I can never get you two to agree on anything apart from the fact that you guys, apparently, don’t fight.”

“She needs to quit complaining about her job.” Jihoon points his fork at me, “she’s got the cushiest job imaginable, and she manages to complain about it all the time. Every week, she’s here complaining about something at her job.”

“As if you don’t complain about your job all the time too,” I reply, not one to back down from a fight, “you complain about the people at your job all the time as well. And it’s not as though your job is shitty; you literally work at the biggest music corporation in the country—”

“Guys!” Joshua half-yells, and I stop. Everyone is looking at the three of us, and unlike the two of us, he looks embarrassed. “Guys, if you have to fight every time we meet, maybe I suggest we stop this weekly brunch. Jesus—”

“Oh, he swore,” Jihoon whispers, and I giggle, “we finally made him take the Lord’s name in vain.”

“—it’s like you’re kids all over again. This isn’t freshman year of university, for heaven’s sake,” he takes an elegant sip of his coffee, “and for your information, Jesus isn’t the Lord. I’m not letting you guys get the satisfaction of hearing me fucking swear.”

“Does he hear himself?” Jihoon mutters. “I don’t think he does.” I whisper in response.

“Yes, I’m aware I said ‘fuck’, thank you very much.” Joshua sits back in his chair, “I’m proposing to Eunseo tonight.”

“Tonight?” Jihoon yells, bolting upright from his chair, and everyone in the restaurant looks at us, “you’re proposing to her tonight?”

Joshua grabs his hand to drag him back onto his chair, “yes, tonight. Are you stupid? Everyone is looking at us now.” He looks at me, “what do you think about it?”

Oh. Oh.

Remember when I said that my role in a romance novel is that of the eternally-spurned childhood friend? The one who has loved the main character from a distance, never really daring to express their feelings? Well, I’ve not known Joshua since my childhood, we met at high school, and it hasn’t been that long since I discovered that I might have a tiny, the most miniscule of crushes on him. But I’m that trope. The childhood friend who gets spurned, and the main character turns away to the actual love of their life, leaving only a broken heart behind. Too little, too late.

Well, who wouldn’t?

He’s tall, good-looking, gentlemanly, with just the right amount of unhinged, has a good, stable, get-off-at-the-right-time government job, and above all, he’s unflinchingly kind to everyone. Yes, including me and Jihoon, even though we make his life a living hell on most days. Realistically,  it was only a moment of time before either Jihoon or I had any feelings for him. And I was betting on Jihoon too. Fuck.

“Are you okay?” Joshua’s voice is soft, insisting, and all I can see when I break out of my reverie is the swoop of his collarbones as they disappear under the shirt, and suddenly I feel very dirty. Not just dirty, but also simply awful. Why am I out here thinking about his collarbones when he’s thinking about how to propose to his girlfriend? His very nice, very beautiful girlfriend?

“I’m fine,” I nod my head, “have you picked out a ring for her?”

“Not yet, but I have a kind of ring in mind already.” He says, turning to Jihoon and starting to talk about the different cuts of diamonds that are present at Tiffany’s, and how they suit different kinds of people. Eunseo, I learn, is partial to a pear cut. Jihoon, the idiot,  who can’t shut up when it comes to arguments with me, is unnaturally quiet, only offering comments here and there. It’s very uncharacteristic.

And then he gets that look on his face which is a signal for both me and Jihoon that we are about to hear an hour’s worth of praises of Eunseo, and I step in. Making a vague sign towards my completed plate of fish and chips (not that great, the fish was soggy) I say, “before he begins singing praises of his girlfriend, sorry, fiancé, can we get the check?”

“You keep saying it as though you don’t know how much I love her.” Joshua sounds annoyed  but unfortunately, I can see through his mask of fake annoyance, “I already paid.”

“Thank goodness, I forgot my wallet.” Jihoon smiles, “for a moment, I thought I would have to use my online wallet.”

“Aren’t you ashamed?” I elbow him lightly in the ribs, and he doesn’t even flinch. Apparently, music producers these days have to be certified gym rats, or they won’t let them into the building, “you’ve mooched off of Joshua and me for the past twelve years, maybe it’s time to start paying.”

“Maybe I do pay, but I just don’t like you.” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his tone, ���so I don’t want to pay for your meal.”

“You little—” I’m about to commit a murder in broad daylight, but Joshua, the sweet angel that he is, stops both of us, waving his card in between like a bullfighting matador.

“You guys just don’t stop, do you?” He grins, evidently thinking about how he’s going to propose to his loving girlfriend this evening. Nauseating. It makes me want to throw up. Because Joshua is not going to wake up one morning and decide that he wants to throw away his living relationship of five years to—to pursue his unfortunate best friend, who has nursed an unfortunate attraction towards him for the past year. That is never going to happen. So, let’s scratch that. That should not happen.

Because apart from being unfairly gorgeous and rich and beautiful and did I mention gorgeous? Eunseo is also unflinchingly nice, the kind of nice that leaves other people wondering if the person in front of them is real or not, or if they have some kind of hidden intentions that border on murderous or at the very least, fraudulent. She’s the one who took me under her wing when I was a freshman and had no friends except the two weird guys in my required sociology class, and thanks to her, at the end of four years of university, I had friends in the journalism club, people I come into contact on occasion such as weddings and the odd reunion.

Her niceness is also the reason why Joshua fell for her at first sight.

“I’m out.” Jihoon picks up the abomination of a bomber jacket from his chair, “and before you ask, no, hyung, I’m not helping you with picking out a ring for your girlfriend. You can do that yourself. Or ask her for help.”

And before Joshua can look at me and before I make a fool out of myself (yet again), I turn away, rejecting his proposal for looking at pear-cut diamond rings on a Sunday morning, “I’m ideologically against the institution of marriage. Do it yourself.”

Joshua sighs, because of course he has anticipated this. The fucker. “cannot believe you’re still on your Dworkin streak. Fine,” he says, getting up from his chair and walking out of the café, “I’ll get Eunseo’s ring myself. And when she asks, I’ll tell her that none of you helped me.”

“Ooh, threatening your girlfriend on us, I’m shaking in my boots,” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his voice, digging through his pockets to get his car keys, “when are you planning to get the ring?”

“Later, in the afternoon,” Joshua is opening the door to his car, and looking at me, “do you want me to give you a ride? Your house is on the way.”

“She only takes buses and the subway,” Jihoon grins, “don’t you remember the time in university when she kept saying about how much she likes welfare policies and transportation benefits?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I reply, elbowing him, harder this time, and Jihoon flinches, “I’ll just go to the office. Jihoon will give me a ride.”

“When did I say that I’ll give you a ride?” Jihoon looks like he wants to begin an argument with me in front of the café, but he acquiesces, “ugh, fine. I’ll give you a ride. Your office is on the way.”

—

“I’m still not convinced that you simply wanted to ‘spend time with me’.” Jihoon grumbles an hour later, seated at his studio and fiddling with his computer. “You’ve been lying there and scrolling twitter for hours now.”

“Your couch is much better than my office chair,” I hum a non-committal reply, before making myself further comfortable into the soft plush material of his couch, “and I’m not scrolling on twitter, I’m trying to find another flat to move into.”

“Lease up?” Jihoon asks, “wasn’t your agreement still valid for at least another few months?”

“I’m just trying to get ahead of the curve,” I reply, “if I start looking from now, maybe I’ll get a better flat by the time the lease is up. My current flat is—”

“A shithole.” Jihoon finishes my sentence for me, “seriously, I don’t know how you manage to live there. And you’ve been holding onto that flat for the past seven years. everyone moved out of their university flats, but you managed to hold onto yours for so long.”

“That’s because it’s a good deal,” I mutter, “ugh, I can’t manage to find a single good deal on any of the flats.”

“Because you’re never satisfied with any deal,” Jihoon replies, “your ideal deal is if everything was free.”

“And I still maintain that housing should not be monetised.”

“Why thank you for that insight, comrade.” Jihoon puts a finger to his mouth, “shut up for a while, I’m trying to concentrate on this song.

“Who’s it for?” I sit up, intrigued, “a new artist?”

“The company’s new girl group.” Jihoon says, “I was asked to produce the title track for their debut. I only have four months on hand, and I still haven’t finished the track. The higher-ups are going to have my head for this.”

“No, they won’t,” I reply, “they like you too much. Speaking of—”

“—if you want me to give you an interview, I won’t, I’ve already told you five times,” Jihoon cuts me off, wheeling his chair away from me, “jeez, you’re tenacious.”

“Oh, but come on, it’ll be fun,” with an extra emphasis on come on, I think I’ve got Jihoon’s attention, “people keep speculating on the kind of person you are. I mean, people know Woozi, but do they know what kind of person he is, underneath all that secrecy? You’ve never given an interview, and you keep avoiding any kind of public appearance. One might think you hate the spotlight.”

“Even if I were to give an interview, I wouldn’t be giving it to you. Who knows how you’re going to spin my words.”

“I’m hurt, Lee Jihoon. This has hurt me.”

Jihoon turns around and blows me a raspberry. I roll my eyes. Is he twenty-eight, or just eight? “whatever you say won’t affect the way I think. I still won’t give you an interview.”

“Just so you know, I’m known to be an excellent interviewer.” I say, walking over to his chair, “come on, Jihoon-ah, give me an interview. Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pwease?”

He turns around at that, fixing me with a stare, “don’t you ever fucking do aegyo in front of me. I’m going to kill you if you do that again.”

“See, if you gave me an interview like I’m asking you to, then I would not have a reason to subject you to aegyo, but as things stand, you really give me nothing else to work with.”

“Ask Joshua for an interview then, if you’re so desperate for one,” the words coming out of anyone else’s mouth would have given me enough reason to walk out of the room, but Jihoon made them sound softer, almost romantic. It was funny, how he managed to change the intonations of every word, changing them to his whims. I suppose that’s what I do with words, and that’s what he does with sounds.

“Joshua is not the elusive Woozi,” I flop back onto the sofa as I counter, trying actively to not think about Joshua picking out a ring at Tiffany’s for Eunseo right at that moment, “he’s an adjunct professor. Not the most interview-friendly of all occupations.”

Jihoon looks at me, and for a moment, I think he’s going to ask me a very uncomfortable and difficult question, but at that moment, both our phones buzz simultaneously. I check the phone, and it’s a single message in the shared chatroom. Joshua has sent a message, a single picture of a pear-shaped diamond solitaire ring (don’t ask me how I know the cut of the diamond) with an attached message;

joshuji: picked up her ring! <3

“Damn, an exclamation point, and an emoji,” Jihoon says, typing out a reply in the chatroom, “our joshuji is entirely too far gone, isn’t he?”

I don’t say anything. Its far easier to pretend that you’re typing out a reply and can’t hear anything, especially when it comes to Jihoon. He’ll take anything in stride.

hoon: wow Eunseo has you whipped

big dick (canon): hey I think it’s cute

Jihoon sets his phone down with an audible clack, and fuck, I’ve messed up. Joshua is oblivious and blissfully happy in his own little life, but Jihoon? The Jihoon that I’ve known ever since our seats were beside each other in the sociology class that made me develop an irrational fear of surveyors? He’s single-minded whenever it comes to pursuing anything. One doesn’t become the most sought-after music producer in the industry with just talent, they need to be dogged in their pursuit of success. And unfortunately, when Lee Jihoon turns his mind to something, he accomplishes it, whether it’s producing a Billboard Hot 100 hit, or, judging by the way he’s looking at me right now, getting words out of my mouth.

“Okay, spill, I’ve seen this go on for long enough,” he says, getting up from the chair and walking over to the sofa, where I am currently hiding behind a throw pillow, “you’ve been weird for months now, and we need to talk about it.”

“We, don’t need to do anything,” I reply, “I’m perfectly fine. If something happened, I would tell you. Or Joshua. Or both of you, at the same time.”

“Like you inform us after every breakup of yours?” Jihoon laughs, “you mean to say you’re going to hold another one of your ‘meetings’ to tell me and Joshua about how some poor bastard made the mistake of trying to date you?”

“I’m actually nice when I date, and I can hold down a relationship for more than two weeks, Mr I-don’t-like-commitment. Tell me, how did your last date go? Did she walk out of the date itself, or did you ghost her?”

Jihoon blinks at me, and then, a slow, catlike smile passes over his features. Fuck.

“You’re being combative today,” he grins, and fuck, its infuriating how predictable I am, and how absolutely incapable I am of not taking his bait, “so, there is something that you’re hiding.”

“Ugh, I hate this.”

“Then you shouldn’t have taken the damn bait,” he replies, “do you want to tell me yourself, or do you want me to guess your little secret?”

“I’m not telling you anything, and its nothing you can suss out either.”

“I can just beat it out of you,” he smiles, flexing his arms, and I belatedly remember that Jihoon, to my disadvantage, had decided at the early age of twenty-one, that he was going to make up for his height by being The Broadest Man on Earth, and now carried a protein shake in his bag everywhere he went, that somehow tasted more disgusting than it looked. He could easily beat me to a pulp. And he would do it too, the little shit.

“Jihoon, remember the time I carried you home when you were drunk?” I don’t know how to do the specific variant of the thing they call ‘puppy eyes’, but I try my absolute best to emulate the little I know, “and you threw up all over my clothes? Remember? It was at Mingyu’s birthday party, and you got drunk on an empty stomach—”

“Don’t fucking do that,” he throws a pillow at me, “fuck, that’s creepy. Also, I got drunk and threw up on your clothes in my second year of university, damn, how long are you going to milk it for?”

“As long as I can,” I reply, “please, Jihoon, just this once.”

“Damn, fine, weirdo,” he stands up, going back to his chair, his back now towards me, “isn’t as though you like Joshua or something.”

I freeze, hoping that the intake of breath at that last sentence hasn’t been heard by Jihoon. I know I’m an atheist, I pray fervently, to whichever god that’s listening, God, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, if anyone’s listening, please, please, please, let Jihoon not notice—

“You like Joshua?”

Fuck.

“No.” I lie brightly, “I just—stubbed my toe on the table.”

Jihoon looks at me in a way that screams bitch, I know you’re a liar so don’t even try. “You know you’re a horrible liar, right?”

“I am?”

He nods, “its one of the many endearing things about you. But unfortunately, you’ve given yourself away now. Really, Joshua? The Joshua Hong we know?”

“Really, it isn’t like that,” I’m sweating, and praying Jihoon doesn’t notice that I’m sweating, “its nothing, and besides, I don’t even like him in that kind of way—”

“Do you want to fuck him?”

I choke on a breath and begin coughing. “What?” I manage to say, after I recover enough to breathe properly, “I don’t want to fuck anyone!”

“Great, because if you wanted to fuck him, it would have become massively awkward.” Jihoon shrugs, “since it’s one of those passing feelings, you can take care of it; it happens all the time. I once had a crush on you too. It’s bound to happen.”

“You had a crush on me?” I screech, “what the fuck, Lee Jihoon, you’re supposed to wait before dropping this kind of information on me!”

“Dude, its long gone,” Jihoon places a hand on my shoulder, a touch that’s meant to be reassuring, but it only suffices to make me angrier, “it was during my military service. I remember that you came with my parents to see me off, and it was—nice. So, I had a crush on you. I got over it when I got out of the military, though. Turns out seeing your best friend live in a hovel really does wonders for your lingering feelings.”

“For eighteen months?” I hold my head in my hands, “you had a crush on me for eighteen months? What the fuck kind of information is that? And you got out of the military three years ago!”

“M-hmm, see, that’s what I mean when I say these feelings will go away.” Jihoon looks sage, as if he’s imparting the secret to life and how to be a good Buddhist, and not bombarding my mind with information I would rather not know, “wait, have you masturbated to Joshua?”

“What the fuck?” I stand up, pacing the room at a speed that would closely rival that of an Olympian, “why would I masturbate to Joshua Hong?”

Jihoon shrugs, “people masturbate. You are a person. Hence the question.”

“Of course, I haven’t masturbated to—wait did you masturbate while thinking of me?” I’m yelling now, yelling and pacing the room like a woman possessed, because of course, Jihoon has made me lose my mind, “Lee Jihoon, did you jerk off to my pictures?”

He shrugs. “What are you going to do if I say yes?”

“I’m going to kill you, and then I’m going to kill myself,” I say, grabbing his shoulders, “you know what, Jihoon, lets do that. Let’s both die.”

“Why would I consent to a murder-suicide with you?” he sounds terribly composed, which again, does not bode well for the numerous murderous thoughts I have currently running through my head, “its just a little masturbation. I was twenty-three, I was bored to tears at the military camp, and I had a crush on you, so, I did what I did.”

“Which was apparently, masturbation.” I flop facedown on the couch, “I want to castrate you, you know that, right?”

“Figures. You’ve always been weird about sex.” Jihoon makes a face, “So, you didn’t tell me. do you want to fuck Joshua or not? Because if you do, then it just means that you want sex. If you don’t, then I can’t help you.”

“How can you help me in any way if I say I want to have sex with Joshua?” I ask, “even if I do, which I don’t, just by the way—”

“You want to jump his bones. Right.”

“—how can you even help me, short of getting me a male prostitute.” I pause, horror spreading through my features, “oh fuck. Jihoon, are you going to hire a gigolo?”

To his credit, Jihoon looks appropriately disgusted, “why would I hire a prostitute? No, I would set you up with one of my friends.”

“Who?”

He thinks for a while, then says, “Soonyoung.”

“No offence, but I’m about 90% convinced that Soonyoung is a furry.”

“Jeonghan-hyung, then.”

“He’s too similar to Joshua,” I groan, “why am I going along with this idea? This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Then do you want to help yourself?”

“Masturbate to thoughts of Joshua? Yeah, like that’s gonna work.” I hold my head in my hands, “fuck, I have to sleep with Soonyoung, don’t I? I’m half-convinced he will do a tiger impression in bed.”

“I’m fairly convinced he mimics a roar when he orgasms.” Jihoon mutters.

“Oh, fuck, now I have to talk about orgasms with you,” I say, face buried in one of the pillows, “I have to sleep with one of your weird friends and then everyone will know about my crush on Joshua and I’ll be shunned from our three-person group forever and ever—”

“Calm down, no one is going to spill your secrets,” Jihoon says, “and I have other friends too, you know. They don’t talk as much as those idiots, but they are good people.”

“But I don’t want to fuck anyone right now.”

Jihoon stares at me.

“Okay fine, maybe a little bit.” I concede, “but still, not enough to warrant a setting-up. Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated.”

“Then go fuck someone!”

“It isn’t that easy!” I snap, and Jihoon looks surprised, because its so unlike me to be incandescent over something as stupid as this, but I can’t help the shiver of anger running over me, “it isn’t so fucking easy. If it were, I would have gone and slept with a stranger from a bar. Yes, I know it’s dangerous, but I would have done it. But I’m telling you now, its difficult for me to even know if I’m attracted to Joshua, and if my attraction means I want to jump him or whatever.”

“Then what does it mean?” Jihoon, it seems, is also incapable of not reacting to my moods and temper, he gets angry easily sometimes, “What does it mean when you tell me you’re attracted to someone? We’re twenty-eight, for fuck’s sake. What the fuck else do you mean?”

“I don’t know!” I half-yell, half-sob, “I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know if I want to sleep with anyone, least of all Joshua. I’m confused, and I don’t know what to do, and all I want is a little acceptance, not you rattling of a list of people I should sleep with in order to get over my feelings for Joshua—”

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

“—and you can’t even give me that, Jihoon,” I finish lamely, looking at his concerned expression, “yeah fine, I’m leaving.”

The door is loud when I close it behind me. to his credit, Jihoon doesn’t pursue me, because even if he’s abnormally idiotic in matters like these, he’s got some sense.

—

I deeply regret befriending either of them, because both Joshua and Jihoon have apparently no sense of boundaries between people. Joshua keeps assaulting my inbox with messages along the lines of oh look how much I love my girlfriend and how much I can’t wait to see you guys and celebrate my engagement because I’ve got my life sorted out unlike YOU fuckers, and Jihoon has rewarded me with radio silence ever since I blew up in his face about his idiotic idea regarding me having sex with one of his friends.

And, as a testament to my misfortunes in life, Joshua has decided that his proposal to Eunseo must be followed up with a party thrown in her honour, or at least a dinner as per his last text message; which of course, he has to send to the shared chatroom with a  variety of threatening and non-threatening messages.

joshuji: just saying if you guys aren’t here for the dinner, I’m never talking to you

hoon: aren’t proposals supposed to be an intimate thing? For couples??? Why are you asking us to be there????

joshuji: Eunseo wanted you guys to celebrate, too

joshuji: also, I’m proposing to her in the afternoon. I’m asking you guys to come over for dinner

hoon: maybe we should ask Eunseo about her feelings?

hoon: idk if she would want two others celebrating her engagement. Maybe we should stage an intervention and try to convince her to leave you. Its not too late already

big dick (canon): idk if I can make it guys

joshuji: I told u I wouldn’t be forgiving you if you don’t attend

hoon: you also tell us that every other week, I think we’ll be fine

joshuji: please?

hoon: don’t you fucking dare

big dick (canon): send us the location. Also, you’re paying

hoon: that’s the least he can do, after inflicting all this on us, and on her

joshuji: don’t worry, dinner is on me. [location attached] be there.

Fuck. Fuck my life, and fuck the two other people also in my life, and also, fuck Eunseo for good measure, because if it hadn’t been for her coming over to the mixer in third year, Joshua would never have fallen head over heels with her at first sight, and he wouldn’t have asked her out, and then I wouldn’t have had to deal with my conflicting feelings in the middle of a random Sunday. In the middle of me contemplating whether to clean my flat or not, too. If you look at it, its all her fault. Her fault for being so flawless and lovely and gorgeous that even I cannot bring myself to be jealous. The woman volunteers her free time at an animal shelter, for god’s sake. She’s the kind of person you write rambling horrible love sonnets about, and inflict them on your best friends after getting drunk and vomiting on a sidewalk at three in the morning. I should know, because that was Joshua when he was twenty-five.

Everything seems to go to shit at the same time, so of course, my landlord has to make an appearance when I’m in the middle of a neurotic episode over whether or not to do my laundry and contemplating hurling myself out of the window. His knocks are rhythmic, three seconds apart, which gives me enough time to prepare with a butcher’s knife in my hand. To ensure my safety, of course, in all my good conscience, I could never murder someone.

“Ah, yes, if it isn’t my favourite tenant,” he smiles, wide enough for me to see the gold tooth he had put in four years ago, “don’t worry, I’m only here for a routine check.”

“I bet you say that to all your tenants, Mr Kim.” I mutter, not moving from the doorway. If this man can sell me a glorified hovel posturing as a flat, I can disrespect him as much as I want. “I’ll get back to you on the renewal on my lease as soon as possible.”

The nosy bastard (man) that he is, Mr Kim cranes his neck around me to take a look inside my flat, “don’t worry, you’ve been one of my longest-running tenants for a while, you can take your time.” Then he looks at me, and the gold tooth is again on display. Ugh, I fucking hate it, “Is there a man inside? Boyfriend?”

“I don’t know why I’m saying this to you, Mr Kim, but I don’t have a boyfriend.” I reply, suppressing my urge to bury the knife held in my hand in his chest, “I was cooking, if you want to know that badly.”

“No boyfriend?” he tuts at me as though my dating life (or its lack thereof) is a personal slight against him, “but there are men coming over to your house all the time?”

“Those are my friends, Mr Kim,” I grit out, fake smile getting more brittle by the second, “men and women can be friends, you know.”

“Ah yes, I know, I know,” he nods, before clapping his hands like he’s received some sort of epiphany, “I forgot to tell you, but if you do decide to renew,” here he takes a deep breath, as if he’s bestowing upon me some great honour, “the rent will be raised. By twenty.”

“Twenty percent?” I screech, and the student in the flat next to me has probably heard it, “is that even legal?”

From the smile on his face, I don’t have to hear anything else. It probably is.

Mr Kim goes away from my line of sight (my kitchen knife’s line of attack) with another, equally insufferable, smile, and I close the door with a loud enough bang that the hinges rattle. I lied to Jihoon, because I only have two months left on my contract, and I still have had no luck in finding a new flat to move into. Everywhere I go, its either overpriced, or the facilities are too shitty, or the vibes are off.

Back in the room, I try to busy myself with laundry, when my phone rings. Its Jihoon, who’s apparently decided that making me angry is a full-time job for him. He’s making use of the private chat, which is rare for him, and somehow, equally annoying for me.

hoon: sorry about what happened in the studio this morning

hoon: offer still stands though

big dick (canon): that’s not how you apologise to someone

hoon: what? I’m trying to help my bestie get some

hoon: is that such a scandalous thing to ask for

big dick (canon): yes. Yes, it is

big dick (canon): also, fyi, I’m not sleeping with any of your friends. They’re all too weird for me

hoon: Mingyu? I remember you saying once that you’d motorboat him

big dick (canon): platonically

hoon: not sure how you’d motorboat someone platonically

big dick (canon): he’s too outgoing for me. cannot imagine I’d ever have a moment to myself if I ever dated him

hoon: Wonwoo? Everyone liked him back in university

big dick (canon): unfortunately, all he seems to talk about is gaming. I don’t mind gaming once or twice, but talking about it all the time? That bores me

hoon: Chan? He’s younger than you, but you could be a cougar, for all I know

big dick (canon): I’ve seen Jeonghan beg on his knees for him to go home after a drinking session

hoon: Minghao?

big dick (canon): He once teased me for my curtain bangs for a week straight

hoon: fine then, Cheol?

big dick (canon): Too competitive

hoon: Seungkwan?

big dick (canon): Too athletic. Also, isn’t he joining the culture desk soon?

hoon: Seokmin?

big dick (canon): Too outgoing

hoon: Vernon?

big dick (canon): Too quiet

hoon: Jun?

big dick (canon): Too weird

hoon: Jesus, fuck, woman, what kind of person do you want to date?

big dick (canon): ykw, just set me up with Mingyu. If nothing I can still get to say I motorboated some great pecs

big dick (canon): seriously, his pecs are bigger than my boobs

big dick (canon): how does he do it

big dick (canon): can I hold them

big dick (canon): respectfully

big dick (canon): in a non-sexual way

big dick (canon): please

hoon: I’m sure he’s going to appreciate that

big dick (canon): please ask him

big dick (canon): how does one get that kind of pectoral muscles

big dick (canon): wow

hoon: my pecs are bigger than his

big dick (canon): is this some new sort of dick-measuring contest idk yet

big dick (canon): if it is

big dick (canon): you’re losing

big dick (canon): I need to take a bite from his tits

big dick (canon): One

big dick (canon): Teensy tiny

big dick (canon): Munch

hoon: I’m so close to blocking u

big dick (canon): They hated Jesus because he spoke the truth

hoon: maybe you need to consider that Jesus had very bad vibes

hoon: so, you want to go on a date with Mingyu?

hoon: I feel like I should tell you that he eats the equivalent of three people

hoon: at the same time

big dick (canon): As long as he lets me motorboat him

 big dick (canon): I don’t care

big dick (canon): He can eat as much as he wants

hoon: why must you be so horny over Mingyu of all people

hoon: he’s not even that attractive

hoon: and I’ve got bigger pecs than him

big dick (canon): congratulations on having bigger pecs, but I’m still gonna motorboat Mingyu

big dick (canon): going to gently hold his tits

hoon: between you going feral and Joshua badgering me about his engagement party dinner

hoon: I can’t help but feel as though both of u are out to make me go insane

big dick (canon): are you gonna go to that?

hoon: he’s already made plans at the barbecue place where we go to

hoon: even got a whole discount coupon and everything

hoon: normally I’d be upset that he’s being cheap, but after researching the price of that ring, I’m prepared to forgive him this once

hoon: next time I’m forcing him to take us out to a good dinner place

big dick (canon): are you planning to spend all his salary

big dick (canon): I’m in

big dick (canon): Ugh I haven’t eaten anything since the morning

big dick (canon): Can you ask Mingyu to bring me food

hoon: you’re incorrigible

hoon: have you been able to maintain eye contact with him?

big dick (canon): UNFAIR

big dick (canon): You know I can only do that with you

big dick (canon): Since you’re exactly my height

big dick (canon): Hehe

hoon: I’m blocking u and this number right NEOW

hoon: cannot believe I’m conversing WILLINGLY with someone who slanders my height

big dick (canon): see u at the barbecue place tonight

big dick (canon): have fun on the song

hoon: I’m trying to finish it

hoon: cannot believe I’ve gone into a slump

big dick (canon): you know how this can be cured?

big dick (canon): An INTERVIEW

big dick (canon): With yours truly

big dick (canon): Please

hoon: ask someone else

hoon: Soonyoung

big dick (canon): he’s an idol, yes but  

big dick (canon): I’m terrified he’s going to do at least three tiger impressions

hoon: wrong, he’s going to do at least five

hoon: ugh gotta go

hoon: see u at the dinner

I stare at the dark phone screen for about five minutes after I’ve finished texting Jihoon. His interest in setting me up with one of his friends aside, he’s not wrong. I’m sexually frustrated, which means I’m just projecting my desires onto the closest available person, which in this case, happens to be Joshua.

Okay, fair enough, then why not anyone else? The people at my workplace aren’t that bad, and some of them are fairly good-looking, so why not them?

As soon as that thought comes into my mind, I shake it away violently. To willingly date someone in the workplace is inviting a whole host of problems, HR notwithstanding. And to imagine the fallout when I eventually break up with them, while still having to work with them in the same office—no, I’d rather take a transfer. The only option that remains are Jihoon’s friends, and while they’re all nice, they can also be terrifying, and therefore, not the best options for dating. Or sleeping around, which is what Jihoon wants me to do.

“Ugh, why do I have to have these feelings,” I moan into my pillow. It would have been great if I were born as an amoeba. Or as a plant. No need for my feelings to take centre stage, no need to maintain friendships with annoying people like Jihoon or Joshua. Just peaceful photosynthesis, and being eaten by a random goat on a random Tuesday. I wouldn’t even need to go to university. Nothing required. Just basking in the sun.

And unfortunately, because my mind is a little traitor, it focuses on the one thing that I don’t want to focus on: Jihoon’s offhand comment about his pecs being bigger than Mingyu’s; which, if I know Jihoon as well as I do, is a blatant lie, but even the thought of it is enough to send me into a downward spiral. What the hell does he mean, he has bigger pecs than Mingyu? Its not as if I want to see them, and let this be known, and made into public record, that I’ve never once wanted to see Jihoon’s pecs.

But.

Of course, its not as if I haven’t thought about it. not as far as Jihoon, who apparently masturbated to the thought of me, but of course I have idly wondered, what it would be like. When he came back from the military, its all I could think about for a couple days, before I had to physically slap myself back into reality. Unfortunately for me, his one petty comment about the size of his pectoral muscles, threatens to throw me back into the pits of desperation yet again.

Ugh. I slam my face into the pile of fresh laundry, hoping for it to soothe my nerves. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.

Its at that moment that the chatroom pings again, this time with a  message from Joshua.

joshuji: SHE SAID YES!!!!

hoon: congratulations!

big dick (canon): Congratulations!!!

—

The barbecue place is good enough for us, but for a dinner celebrating Joshua’s engagement to Eunseo, it seems a little too shabby. Although given the amount of money he’s spent on an engagement ring (I saw the prices, and I had to stifle a gasp) it can be forgiven. Just this once, as Jihoon said.

I’ve come here late, on purpose. Between the excited texts from Eunseo, who texted me a picture of her ring, and I had to act appropriately surprised, and Joshua’s infamous enthusiasm for a. showing the world how much he loves his girlfriend and b. to torment his friends, I’m feeling drained. I’m dressed for a night of eating greasy food and drinking cheap alcohol: a hoodie borrowed (stolen) from either Jihoon or Joshua, and jeans. I can’t even lie to myself and give myself a reason to dress up, because even I can’t delude myself into doing that. Jihoon once saw me with day-old vomit on my shirt, and Joshua has seen me dress in my sleepwear for exams week.

The place is filled with smoke, emanating from the meat being cooked on the grills, and it takes me a moment to adjust myself to it all, before I look for the other three. They have all arrived, and according to Jihoon, who’s sent a message out of his own accord on the chatroom in a long time, they’re all eating lots of beef.

“You’re late,” Jihoon grumbles as I approach the table, “I had to sit through half an hour of these two being happy and in love.”

“You’re a liar,” I say, sliding into the seat next to him, “you enjoy romance movies.”

“Wow, that’s something I didn’t know about him,” Joshua says, with a twinkle in his eyes that I don’t want to decode, “how come you know everything about Jihoon?”

“Occupational hazard,” I reply, reaching for a piece of meat, “every time you bailed on us to go on a date with Eunseo, Jihoon and I would be forced to hang out together.”

“It was horrible,” Jihoon agrees, “she’d force me to watch all these romance movies.”

“Says the man who cried while watching Love Actually.”

Eunseo giggles at that, almost doubling over herself. I narrow my eyes at Joshua, “have you both been drinking since the afternoon?”

“No, no, I haven’t,” Eunseo wheezes, and it’s unfair how gorgeous she is while laughing, too. She’s wearing an apron to prevent grease falling on her expensive clothes, and she’s still gorgeous. I snort when I laugh, and once Jihoon saw me with mango juice coming out of my nose, “it’s just funny.”

“What is?”

She points at the two of us, “you know, the both of you keep talking about how annoying you find each other, and yet you’re both closer to each other than anyone else. It’s just so funny to me.”

“Joshua,” Jihoon says, very seriously, “I think your fiancée has been taking drugs.”

“At the very least, she’s insane,” I supply helpfully, “no one in their right minds would date Joshua. Not to mention agreeing to marry him.”

Joshua puts an arm around Eunseo, “stop slandering my fiancée.”

Jihoon puts a piece of meat into his mouth, trying to change the topic, “have I mentioned I’m helping her hook up with someone?”

I cough violently, while Eunseo and Joshua wear twin expressions of confusion. “Wait, Jihoon,” Joshua says, “I thought you—”

“I told you not to talk about that!” I wail, a noise that’s fortunately covered by all the meat-grilling around me, “no, I’m not going to hook up with any of your friends. Jihoon has terrible taste in people, not to mention that all your friends aren’t exactly hook-up material.”

“You take that back,” he gasps, “weren’t you talking about how you’d like to motorboat Mingyu?”

“That was platonically!”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua interjects, looking at me as though I’ve sprouted another head, “how can you, and I’m just going off on a limb here, motorboat someone platonically?”

“That’s what I said,” Jihoon grumbles, “she keeps asking me to set them up once.”

“That’s because he’s the hottest out of all your friends.” The soju is bitter as I drink it, “if I have to engage in a night of mindless sex, might as well do it with the hottest guy around.”

“Knew it,” Jihoon wags one of his fingers at me, “knew you only wanted Mingyu for his body. How dare you do that to my friend.”

“You once stole his socks.”

“Once.”

“For a whole semester.”

“Fair enough.”

“Both of you,” Joshua says loud enough for us to stop bickering, “explain it to us properly. What do you mean you’re helping her hook up with one of our friends? And why are you letting him hook you up with one of our friends?”

I shrug, “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you heard us. It’s only going to be one time.”

“Do I need to give you the talk?”

Jihoon  laughs, “you do realise she’s an adult?”

“I’m not saying she can’t do anything; I’m just saying she needs to be careful!

“If I have to be careful around the rest of the guys, then maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them.”

“What do you mean she should be careful around the people who have known her for so long?”

“All of you!” Eunseo claps her hands, and like kindergarten children, we all turn to look at her, sheepish, “Josh,” she turns to the man in question, who looks sufficiently contrite, “let me have a word.”

As they leave, Jihoon pulls a face. “asshole.”

I take another shot of the soju, “he’s just looking out for me.”

“Then he shouldn’t be so overbearing about it.” Jihoon takes a look at me downing another shot, “should you be drinking this fast?”

“Don’t you start.” I say, shaking my head, “I’m going to drink enough to wipe out Joshua’s bank account.”

Jihoon says nothing, just looks at me, and then, after ten seconds, “do you want to do it?”

“Do what?”

“The date. With Mingyu.”

Maybe its just the alcohol getting to my head, or maybe its all this smoke, but his voice seems different. Is he concerned, or is he joking, as per usual? It’s confusing. Should I blame the alcohol? That seems easier, given how it’s getting to my head. “I don’t know.”

“He’s not that bad, you know. He’s a good listener, and if you want him to shut up, he will. He’s great that way.”

I stare at him. Jihoon has a strange look on his face, one that I can’t really place. Alcohol. Yes. Blame it on the alcohol. I take another shot, but before I can form a reply to him, Eunseo and Joshua are walking back to the table, hand-in-hand, identical smiles on their faces. As soon as it had come, the look in Jihoon’s eyes is gone, replaced by the usual, blasé attitude he has perfected.

“Sorry for being late,” Eunseo breezes as she settles into the table, “Joshua needed to be reminded of adult boundaries.”

“I’m sorry.” Joshua offers by way of an apology, “I overstepped.”

“Damn right you did.” Jihoon mutters.

“Apology accepted,” I smile, picking up a piece of meat, “can you order some more?”

—

Mondays are, unfortunately, the worst. Especially if one spent their Sunday evening drinking enough alcohol to lose half their memories. I slide into my seat at work, yawning as I inspect the things I have to finish working on before the end of the day.

“Morning, sunbae,” a cheery voice says, placing a cup of coffee on my desk, “you look like shit.”

“Not the time, Seungkwan,” I mutter, pressing two fingers to my forehead, “too loud, too loud.”

“Heard you got shitfaced with Jihoon and the others last night,” Seungkwan says louder, “Jihoon texted the chat with the others at two in the morning, saying how he was going to take you home.”

“He did?” thankfully, I have no recollection of this happening, so I just let him fill me in on the details, “all I remember is drinking too much at the barbecue place.”

“Celebrating Joshua’s engagement, right?” Seungkwan’s smile is irritating, and I hate how cheery he is in the morning, “he texted about that, too. The pear-cut diamond was, oof, it was something to see.”

“Why do you know about diamond cuts?”

“I grew up with sisters,” he shrugs, as if growing up with sisters imbued one with all the hidden knowledge of womankind, including, but not limited to, engagement ring diamonds and their specific cuts, “you pick up stuff from listening.”

“Jihoon told you all he took me home?” I ask, “he doesn’t usually say that kind of stuff.”

“You got especially drunk last night, so he made an exception for you.” Seungkwan grins, leaning in, “what do you think about Jihoon?”

“He’s a pain in my ass.” I mutter, switching on my computer, “also, go back to work, Seungkwan. You’re not even supposed to be here until next week!”

“Yoo-min quit, so they asked me to join a week early,” he gives me a grin that again, I try not to decode (what is it with all these men and their mysterious grins?) before settling down into the seat next to me, and promptly jumping up to subject me to a ninety-degree bow, “Boo Seungkwan, at your service!”

“Ugh,” I wince, waving at him, “sit down, for the love of god, no one needs to be that loud in the mornings.”

“You are my senior, as it happens, and I’m very keen on maintaining proper relations.”

“Get me one of those hangover cures.”

“I like the American style.”

—

To no one’s surprise, Seungkwan is a very competent worker. He’s a social butterfly, which means that he quickly endears himself to everyone at work, and by the time lunch rolls around, I have to hear praises of Seungkwan from everyone. It’s terrifying, how competent he is.

Being one of the associate editors, means I have to mostly edit the articles sent in by the reporters on ground, not to mention I get to pick and choose which issue I want to cover. I maintain as much of my professionalism as I can, while having a raging headache.

“Sunbae,” Seungkwan approaches me right before lunch, “will you be going out to cover an article?”

“I have an interview with an author after lunch, so not yet,” I reply, putting the finishing touches on a report sent in by one of our field staff, on some celebrity’s rash driving case, “I have some time.”

“Do you want to have lunch with the rest of us?” he asks, gesturing the group of five waiting behind him, “we’re going to have naengmyeon at the place down the block.”

“I have enough sense to not butt into the affairs of my juniors, Seungkwan,” I say, standing up from my chair, “here, have the card. Since its your first day here, the office should treat you.”

Seungkwan takes the offered card with a bow, and smiles brightly, “oh, but the editor said we’re having a company dinner tonight? Won’t you be joining us for that?”

“A group dinner?” I ask, and the group behind him nods their head, all in unison. It makes them look like little bobbleheads, for some reason. “Sure, I’ll join in.”

“Yes!” he seems unusually cheerful about the company dinner, which in my own experience is nothing but a pain that I had to accustom myself with when I joined the paper, “see you tonight, sunbae!”

“This kid,” I groan, picking up my coat. The prospect of lunch makes my stomach turn, and now I have to contend with dinner?

I text Jihoon while walking out of the offices. Joshua is busy with his new fiancée, and Jihoon’s building is far closer to mine that it is to Joshua’s place of work.

big dick (canon): Are u free

big dick (canon): For lunch

Unless Jihoon texts first, he takes an hour to respond at best, but as soon as I send the message, he’s typing a reply.

hoon: lunch?

hoon: if it isn’t lunch I’m killing u

hoon: dude I’ve never had a block this bad I think I’m going to go crazy

hoon: not to mention the hangover from last night is crazy

big dick (canon): it is for lunch, you idiot, why would I text u otherwise

big dick (canon): and I can agree on that, my head is killing me

hoon: is hangover soup cool with u

hoon: I know a good place

hoon: meet u at the front of your building in five

hoon: please tell me all the details about Seungkwan

“He took five minutes to get the editor to warm up to him?” Jihoon cackles, as the lady serves us two steaming bowls of seollongtang, “of course, it’s Seungkwan. He can make anyone warm up to him in minutes.”

“I fear he takes it as a challenge.” I say, spooning the milky broth into my mouth, “ah! Its hot!”

“Why can’t you just wait for a while, before eating your food?” Jihoon pours me a glass of water, “did you die of starvation in your previous life?”

“I don’t believe in that.”

“Yes, yes, Miss Atheist. Tell me what else our little dongsaeng get up to in the meantime.”

“He’s not been given a lot of work, given that it’s his first day,” I take another, more tentative sip of the broth, “but unfortunately, I’ve got to attend another company dinner tomorrow night.”

“Another company dinner? Haven’t you gone through enough pain to consider drinking again, what,  barely twenty-four hours later?”

“Twenty-fours is pushing it,” I say, wincing at the sound of my own voice, “ugh, this damn hangover. I can’t even function. Let’s just eat in silence.”

“You want a cider?” Jihoon asks, looking around for the owner to ask for two cans of cider, but the owner is faster than him, setting down two cans of soda in front of us with a smile on her face.

“Your boyfriend is very caring.” She tells me, “its so nice to see someone taking care of their girlfriend so well. The sodas are on the house, okay?”

“Oh, but he’s not—” even before I’ve finished my sentence, she’s gone again, tending to her other customers. Jihoon opens one of the cans for me without saying a word.

“We should stop coming here.” I say, accepting the can from him, “why would anyone think that we’re a couple?”

“They can’t accept that men and women can just be friends, that’s why.”

“Too bad the food is great.”

Jihoon pauses for a moment, then a slow, sly smile spreads all over his face. I know that look. That look does not bode well for me, or for anyone else involved. The first time I saw Jihoon have that look on his face, Seungcheol embarrassed himself so badly in front of a group of first-year students, he refused to come out to any events where Jihoon was invited, for almost a month. This look means that he’s got some sort of evil plan in his mind, one that involves another person and their total embarrassment. He takes a look around the restaurant, and sits up straight. The words that come out of his mouth next, however—

“Babe,” Jihoon says, loud enough for half the restaurant to hear, “don’t you think this place is great?”

What the fuck?

“Jihoon, what are you doing?” my voice is a whisper, “they’re all looking at us!”

“That’s the point.” He whispers, before smiling, “you should say something too, you know. Make the whole thing more believable.”

“I don’t want to!”

“They gave us free sodas; they deserve a special performance at least.” He points to the owner, who looks like she’s about to break her face from smiling so damn broad, “sorry, my girlfriend is a very shy.”

“Oh,” the lady waves it away, “anyone can see you are in love!”

In the end, when Jihoon is paying for our lunches, she takes a final look at the two of us, and croons, “you two make a lovely couple!”

“What the fuck was that?” I turn on Jihoon as soon as we are safely out of the restaurant and far enough for anyone to eavesdrop, “Why the hell would you tell her that we’re dating?”

“Thought you needed a pick-me-up,” Jihoon grins, “at least I got you to stop worrying about things so much.”

“There are better ways of going about that than telling unsuspecting diner owners that we are dating!”

“It was funny, you have to admit,” he smiles, and I have to begrudgingly agree, “see, told you we’d make a cute couple.”

I would rather die than tell Jihoon that I agree with him on anything, so I keep quiet. Thing is; it was rather funny. Especially with how the owner reacted to us.

“And later on,” Jihoon says, holding on to my arm as we cross the road, “when you come to this place with someone else, you can just tell her that we broke up.”

“You need to stop talking about how I’m going to start dating other people.” I mutter, “just because I’ve got some frustrations I need to work out, doesn’t mean I’m going to go running into the arms of whoever it is who offers first.”

“Careful with that,” he says, standing at the crossroads where he’s supposed to walk towards his building, “you might end up regretting it.”

And with a single wave, he’s gone. I stand for about five minutes, like an idiot, while the busy crowd walks past me, trying to decode his words. Why would I regret my decision to not date someone just because I need to get over myself? Not to mention Jihoon has been behaving strangely since the previous night.

“Sunbae,” Seungkwan materialises next to me, “penny for your thoughts?”

“Jesus!” I narrowly escape jumping three feet into the air, “give a girl a warning!”

“I did call out,” he pouts. Its disconcerting how adorable he is. “You were pretty engrossed in looking into the distance to even notice my presence.”

“Are you upset?”

Seungkwan smiles, “if you agree to a badminton match with me over the weekend, I’ll overlook this slight.”

I sigh. “You drive a hard bargain,” I say, making my way into the building, “see you at the dinner, then.”

—

[embrosegraves]

ℕ𝕖𝕩𝕥 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕃𝕖𝕔𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕤

Charles Leclerc x Reader (implied she/her) Charles and Reader name their daughters the same order as the Leclerc brothers. 

Mr Charles “Girl Dad” Leclerc

Warnings: Extreme use of the red heart emoji, IT'S SO LONG I'M SO SORRY, also watch out for Google translate lmao don't trust them to be exact

Still not the best at smaus but I'm working on it (between every 'post' will be a timeskip of an unspecified amount of time. my brain can't handle doing maths more than it needs to.)

instagram.com

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youruser Baby Leclerc Loading...

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yourBff I'm so ready to be an Aunty  → youruser One of the best ❤️

user omgomgomgomgomgomg user Is it a girl or a boy? → youruser We're waiting until the birth to find out user GUYS CHARLES MIGHT BE A GIRL DAD 

carlossainz55 Charles is gonna be out of a seat soon → charles_leclerc they're going to take your seat actually → youruser please don't encourage this, they aren't even born yet

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youruser As of Nov 8 2026, please welcome Lorelei Manon Haydée Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ Charles and I are so incredibly excited to share this chapter of our lives with everyone however we plan on keeping Little Lori's face completely hidden until she can tell us otherwise. We ask that you respect our decision and that you do not go out of your way to find out what she looks like ❤️

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landonorris Hey there Little Lori Leclerc  → youruser ❤️

carlossainz55 Bienvenida Pequeña Belleza translated Welcome Little Beauty → charles_leclerc Uncle Chilli reporting for duty? → carlossainz55 Of Course!

leclerc_pascale When can I see my precious grandbaby❤️ → charles_leclerc I will facetime you Maman ❤️

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youruser Round Two LETS GO

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pierregasly Another gossip buddy!!!  → youruser Our gossip sessions are about to be so much cooler!

user ANOTHER ONE!! → user ok dj khalid user are you waiting to find out the gender again? → youruser ✨oui✨ user please be another girl, i need charles to be purely a girl dad

maxverstappen1 this one will be in a redbull i can feel it → youruser oh god not you too

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charles_leclerc Papa and Manon Spa Night (so Mama can try to relax before baby is born)

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youruser you have mastered the towel turban my love  → youruser Lori looks so cute 😭❤️

user Charles "Girl Dad" Leclerc coming in clutch → user he's in his element user be honest /youruser did you teach him the towel turban? → youruser i mean, not on purpose? he's watched me do it so often i guess he just, learnt??? user I love how squishy she looks MY HEART--

lilymhe this qualifies as Charles' official invite to Girls Night™ → youruser i'll add him to the groupchat lmao → charles_leclerc yeah babyyyyyy

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youruser And on October 17 2027, the world said let there be Charlène Madeleine Héloïse Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ Once again, we are so so so excited to share our growing family with the world. As we did for little Lori, we will not be sharing baby ChiChi's face until she can tell us otherwise. We are so grateful that everyone respected our wishes with Lori and we ask that you respect them once more. Love Always ❤️

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LeclercLorenzo Might be early but I'm sensing a trend... → youruser 👀/charles_leclerc → charles_leclerc a trend you say?? 👀

carlossainz55 Un'altra splendida bambina ❤️ proud of you guys translated Another gorgeous baby girl → charles_leclerc Grazie Fratello ❤️ translated Thankyou Brother → youruser Grazie Chilli ❤️

leclerc_pascale Another granddaughter to spoil ❤️❤️ → youruser I fear you'll put Char out of a job Maman 😂 → charles_leclerc you cannot spoil her as much as me! 😠❤️

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charles_leclerc My Precious Girls, how your Papa loves you

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youruser My Loves 😭❤️

user Another classic Charles "Girl Dad" Leclerc moment → user omg I saw them the other day and the way Charles looks at Lori and ChiChi 😍🥰 user Charles is so in love with his girls it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside → youruser makes me wanna have another lmao → user SO REAL FOR THIS → charles_leclerc oh? 😏😏

lilymhe Why can't we have this? /alex_albon → alex_albon our sons are literally your personal bodyguards... I can't even kiss you without their permission → charles_leclerc he misses you 😂😂

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youruser 3 is a magic number

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pierregasly Do you guys ever stop? → youruser who? → pierregasly you and charles → youruser no i mean who asked?

user has anybody noticed that the age gap between each leclerc baby is basically the EXACT same as the leclerc brothers? → user OMG I WAS GONNA SAY youruser before you ask lovey /user once again we're waiting for the birth ❤️ → user honestly at this point i think everyone knows it's gonna be a girl liked by youruser user Okay, they definitely have a theme going on here with Lorenzo and Lorelei, and then literally Charles and Charlène. this one is gonna be named after Arthur i know it

charles_leclerc One more after this? → youruser no <3

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youruser Say hello to our newest arrival, Artemis Marinette Helena Pascale Leclerc ❤️❤️ born on October 15 2030 For the third time, Charles and I invite you to meet our (now complete) family! Just as we did with little Lori and Baby ChiChi, Mini Artie's face will be hidden until she can tell us otherwise. Forever grateful that everyone is so understanding of all our daughters' privacy, thank you all so much! get ready to see a whole bunch of the Leclerc Sisters on your feed from now on❤️

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carlossainz55 I can't keep commenting in another language now, you used all three that I know → charles_leclerc sounds like a you problem mate → youruser be grateful we're only having three kids Carlos

sebastianvettel One more for the collection → youruser my daughters are not like your cars and their bond girl names → charles_leclerc i'll be honest, i did laugh a little

LeclercLorenzo Some might say I... called it. → youruser don't even, you knew when we told you about naming Little Lori → LeclercLorenzo let me live in my delusion

kimimatiasraikkonen 👍 → youruser never change Kimi ❤️

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charles_leclerc At least Mini Artie likes to kart 🫠❤️

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georgerussell63 I think it's hilarious that not even your mini me likes karting → youruser it is the funniest thing to watch as Char sulks because of it → pierregasly I can only imagine 😂😂 → charles_leclerc what is this, bully Charles day?

user Mini Artie is gonna carry on the family legacy → user can you imagine omg youruser come back home the kids miss you → user i had to double check that this was ACTUALLY the mother of his children liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, youruser and others user I see no one else has realised that all three of the girls birthdays are THE DAY AFTER the person they're named after. → youruser believe me, that wasn't planned ((it was harder to plan than it should've been))

youruser I love you so much Char. Best father, best husband ❤️ → charles_leclerc Je t'aime encore plus, Ma Chère. Best mother, Best wife ❤️ translated I love you more, My Dear

holy shit that was long jesus christ.

uhhhhhh hope you enjoyed? reblogs and likes would be much appreciated because this took me SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO

[lowkeyrobin]

MID90S ; first kiss

includes ; fuckshit, ray & fourthgrade

warnings ; language, talk of weed, mentions of alcohol, mentions/jokes of sex

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

while at a skate park in the dark

you two were just smoking and enjoying the silence of the night

he just turns to you with a little smile

and you just go for it

quickly leads to a makeout session

you were so high you didn't even remember

the next day at Motorz, he's talking to the other boys all about it before you get there

rays like "Hey y/n. so how was your night?"

and you're totally oblivious for a minute

the others are like "yo fuckshit lied lmao"

but he stands his ground

"I'm not lying n****! dude, how high were you? do you actually not remember??"

RAY

you guys were jamming to music after closing at motorz

he turns your head to face him while one of his favorite songs is playing

then he just kisses you all within a second

"huh?"

he just smiles and shrugs

then you kiss him back before he can turn away

fuckshit comes back for a hoodie that he accidently left and walks into you two making out on the couch

"yo, can I have my hoodie?"

he's unphased but internally cheering for you guys

you quickly toss him the hoodie and get back to sucking face

then the blonde just shrugs and leaves

he immediately calls fourthgrade over the nearest payphone to tell him

and then the next morning at the court house before you and Ray show up, he gossips about it to Ruben and Stevie as well

"Yeah, Ray's dreams are now taken up by screwing y/n

FOURTHGRADE

you guys were skating around town and caught a break at a gas station

you got slushies

outside before you get back to skating, he just grabs your face, kisses you and skates away

you just sit there like "wth" and chase after him

you don't talk about it til estees party bc you were both bored and didn't want to smoke or drink with the others

"I like you"

"I can tell. I mean, feelings reciprocated"

"Seriously?"

"Uh huh"

[lunarw0rks]

gossip sessions w ghost /: late night ones to be specific. spilling secrets and you drop a major bomb on and he’s just sitting there looking at you like O__O through his mask

he's more talkative than given credit for. in public, on the field, he's obviously quite guarded unless it's mission-related.

but i feel like he's good at hiding how much he loves gossip. if you got "close" enough (good luck) he would be down for the TEA!! from the outside looking in, it seems like you're talking his ear off and he isn't even listening. but he is.

let's be honest, he's the root of some drama at the base lmao. and no one would suspect him anyway, so it's the perfect covert op of spreading gossip!!

[hunterbunter3000]

in conclusion. Sweetheart is Prices princess, Soaps handler/gossip buddy, Gaz therapist, and Ghost cuddle buddy (people doesnt need to know wbout that tho)

You gyat damn right. 100%

Totally didn't forget that this was in my asks no no nope I'm so sorry

Even tho she's everyone's princess, Price is the KIINNGGGG of princess treatment (🤭) Always complimenting her, praising her, touching her, buying her gifts, touchinggggg hheerrrrr, always helping her out of cars, down the stairs and helicopters. Sweetheart is his princess. He wants to make her his Queen tho

Soap and Sweetheart are definitely best friends first, and romantic feelings last (only Soap feels this tho LMAO) Like omg they do so many things together, but his favorite is tea and gossip time. Like they'd just be having a tea party in Soaps room, drinking hot tea and Sweetheart would tell Soap the deets everytime 💀

Sweetheart: Bitch, did you know that the janitor DIED

Soap: BITCH NO WAY HOW

Sweetheart: He slipped and his mop WENT UP HIS ASS AND SPEARED HIM THROUGH HIS STOMACH

Soap, spitting out his tea: OMMGGGGG YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN LYIN

Sweetheart: BITCH IM NOOOTTTT

And Gaz-- omg Gaz... He's so baby to me when it comes to Sweetheart 🥹 especially asking for help. He would peek in her dorm and knock on her wall. "Gaz? Hey, what's wrong?" She asks. His eyes would be soft and his brows would crease a bit, like a sad nervous puppy. "Uhm," he would start. And Sweetheart knew immediately what he needed. "Can I chat with you? Just for a bit" He would say with a soft voice. JUST-- PLEASE and she would smile and say "Of course, honey." And she would hold him while he talks out what he was feeling and just-- FFFFUCK IT MAKES ME MELT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAKES ME MELT?? GHOST AND SWEETHEART-- BEING CUDDLE BUDDIES like she would sneak to his dorm and do their special knock that they have for cuddle sessions (EHEHEHE) and he would open it and yank her in. She would always snort cause he's so needy for her cuddles. Like he would just hug her close and nuzzle into her neck, smelling her and that just puts him at ease. He waddles, Sweets still I'm his arms, and they fall on his bed. They get comfortable in each other and Simon knocks tf OUT. OUT LIKE A LIGHT (and no one knows cause Sweetheart wakes up early and goes back to her own room HA)

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | six.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, sweet yuyu per usual, seonghwa moment (sorry yes he's back briefly lmao), crying & some overthinking, next few chapters will prob feel like lil filler chapters while things progress between oc x yunho <33 we are almost there yall, promise!!

Yunho parks his car in the driveway, clicking the key fob to make sure his doors are locked after he grabs his things from the trunk. Entering the house, it's a lot quieter than expected— typically, he has family members or close neighbors over even if they're just there to sit in the kitchen and gossip with his aunt and mom.

When he sets his things down and walks further into the house, he realizes why it's so quiet in the house.

"Yunho! Our handsome boy!" His aunt yells from the backyard where she sits with his mom, two neighbors and their two friends. Yunho feels the heat rise to his cheeks because even though this is happens constantly— he's still not used to the praising and babying from his own family members.

"Hi." He gives them a toothless smile and waves, helping himself to a seat right next to his mom. "Miss Universe herself, how are you feeling?" His mom chuckles before playfully hitting his arm.

"I'm doing okay, my love. I missed you."

"I'm here now, right? Did your appointment go okay?" He swings his arm around her chair and focuses all of his attention on her. 

"Yeah, it went perfectly fine. I felt a bit tired and weak afterwards, but nothing some good rest and food couldn't fix." Yunho nods.

"Okay, that's good."

"How about you, tell me all about school? I think your mom is missing some details." She says with a small smirk and Yunho can't help but playfully roll his eyes.

"Didn't you wanna go to the grocery store?" He changes the subject, his aunt immediately catching on to the shift in his body language.

"Yunho has a girlfriend, I think." She says to her neighbors while smirking at him. Yunho's mom laughs it off, standing to save her son from the oncoming comments, teasing, etc etc.

"Suho." His mom says in a scolding manner, slight drip of playfulness to it. "Don't you have a list of things we need to get at the grocery store?"

"Oh shit, you're right." She says, hurrying into the kitchen for her list. Yunho laughs and bids farewell to their friends, following his mom and aunt into the kitchen. His mom grabs the list from her sister, asking if she needs anything else or if she wants food from anywhere before they return. She simply says no and says she'll be heading out with her friends soon— that the both of them should just enjoy shopping and eating wherever they'd like.

And so with that, Yunho carefully helps his mom get settled before hopping into the driver's seat. His music is softly playing in the background, while his mom continues to tell him about how her appointments have been and the people she's encountered. He starts to laugh when she mentions one of the technicians at the dialysis center, and how she's bragged about him to her countless times.

"Okay mom, I appreciate it but you don't have to play cupid." He smiles at her before shifting his attention back to the road.

"I know, but sometimes I worry about you." She gently squeezes his bicep. "I can't help it because I'm your mom. You do a great job taking care of everyone else, sometimes I just want someone to help take care of you."

"I'll be okay."

"I know, I know." She lets out a breath before toothlessly smiling at him. "But, you get where I'm coming from."

"I think so."

"What about your friend?"

"What friend?"

"From school? The one you talked about, you know? Helping with her assignments."

"Oh, right." Yunho chuckles. "What about her?"

"Well, what's her name?"

"You're gonna look for her on Facebook."

"I am not." She playfully hits him, making him laugh. 

"Her name is Y/N."

"Beautiful name. I'm sure she's very pretty." Yunho shrugs.

"Y-yeah she is. But, we're really just friends. We click pretty easily. Surprisingly."

"What do you mean surprisingly? You're the sweetest and the friendliest boy I know. And I'm not saying that because I'm your mother."

"You're definitely saying that because you're my mother." He laughs.

"Why don't you see where it goes?"

"I never said I wouldn't." He laughs a bit. "I'm also not going to force anything."

"That's fair. She seems to be a good friend, though."

"She is. She's sweet."

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Yunho!" You happily head down the steps when you see him standing there, patiently waiting for you. He has his hands dug deep into his pockets, hood on his head. A small, tiny smile tugs at the corner of his lips when you finally come face to face and stand in front of his towering figure. "Hey you." You gently poke at his arm.

"What's up?" He starts to lead the way with slow, steady steps— walking down his usual path around the complex. 

"Kinda just wanted to take a quick walk." 

"Feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You're telling me. How's practice been?"

"Practice is practice. It's fun to be doing it with friends though." He nods, silently walking alongside of you. "How's Yeosang?" He chuckles.

"Yeosang is Yeosang. Currently still yelling at his screen."

"You guys should game together."

"We do when he decides to play Valorant, but he's more into League." He scratches at his temple. "I must sound very attractive right now." You laugh a bit.

"That sounds very fun. You'll have to teach me one day."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, why not. I'd probably have to play on a dummy account or something so I don't ruin your level." You tilt your head in confusion. "Ranks? Whatever they're called." He smiles.

"Fair." You laugh.

"Wow, so you don't believe in my abilities, huh?"

"You said it first."

"Yunho." You whine, making him laugh a little loudly this time.

"I'm kidding. I believe in you. It's really not that bad." You smile, but it quickly fades when you almost bump into Yunho just as he suddenly stops in his tracks. "Look." He looks down at you, then points upwards. "The moon." You stand beside him and look up at the moon. 

"It's beautiful."

"Hm, yeah." He snaps a photo. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stop."

"No, please. I like seeing these parts of you." He smiles.

"Yeah?" You nod. "You don't think it's odd?"

"I could never think that way about you, Yunho." You playfully tap his arm. "Seriously. It's nice to see someone appreciate the moon."

"Someone has to." You giggle as you both continue to slowly walk alongside each other, arm brushing against one another. 

♣︎ END

"Please don't forget to bring her by one day. I'd still like to meet her."

"Meet her?"

"You've been happier lately, and that's all I could ask for. She sounds lovely."

"Okay." Yunho nods and smiles at her just as he pulls into the lot of the market. 

Yunho patiently goes around with his mom, placing every item she needs into the cart while she points out what's needed. They spend a good 45 minutes, close to an hour, just taking their time buying what's needed and other necessities. Afterwards, Yunho takes his mom to her favorite Chinese restaurant. They spend time talking about all things school-related and what his plans might be for the near future. 

And Yunho loves being home, don't get him wrong. He'd always spend time with his family over anything. But, he couldn't help but think of you— especially after his mom brought you up.

He hopes you're okay. Maybe he'll check on you tonight.

Tonight, you wrap up your homework and waddle over to the couch— joining Seungmin and Chaery in the living room while they watch their show. Soobin is cooking himself some dinner since he just got back not too long ago from the library.

"Any of you guys want some ramen before I shut this off?"

"Nope!" Seungmin yells loudly even though he's just in the living room.

"Same. Thanks Soobinnie." Chaery says in a sing-song tone. You simply look at Soobin with a small smile, shaking your head before returning your attention to your phone. A text comes in and you're [slightly] surprised at who it is— but, you definitely can't say that it doesn't put a smile on your face.

yunho: take a look at the moon if you haven't yet.

But, your smile instantly fades when you can't respond right away. A call cuts through on your screen, and it's probably the last person you want to speak to right now— even though you know you need to.

"Hello?" You answer nonchalantly, not in the mood to speak to Seonghwa.

"Hey. Are you free right now?" You sigh and look at the clock. 10pm.

"Yeah, I am."

"Can you come down? I'm here in my car."

"For what, Seonghwa?" You hear him sigh heavily on the other line before speaking up again.

"I just want to talk. We haven't talked in days and I'm trying to figure out what's going on between us." 

"Seonghwa—"

"Y/N, please. That's all I'm asking for." He says in a serious tone. You roll your eyes and purse your lips together, pausing for a moment before responding.

"Fine. I'll be down in a few."

"Alright." And with that, you end the call— sliding your phone into the pocket of your sweats before forcing yourself off of the couch to grab the nearest jacket.

"My jacket?" Soobin watches as you snatch his jacket off of the dining table chair.

"I just need it for a second. Please?" You pout and he nods.

"Where are you going?" Chaery asks while her and Seungmin continue to watch their show, her eyes fixed on the TV.

"Seonghwa wants to talk."

"Oh, jeez." She says. "Goodluck with that, hun. Call if you need anything."

"Yup!" You slip into your crocs, dragging your feet down the steps and to Seonghwa's car. He's parked by the curb, windows slightly rolled down so you're able to catch a peek of him. He's staring down at the phone near his lap, the light illuminating his face. He texts away even as you approach the door, but chucks it into his middle console after he's sent whatever he needed to send. You plop onto the passenger's seat and avoid eye contact, crossing your arms as you look straight ahead at the car in front of his.

"Hi to you, too." He furrows his brows a bit. 

"So, what is it Seonghwa?" You finally turn to him and let out a barely audible sigh.

"Baby, come on." Seonghwa clicks his teeth and pouts a bit. He slips his hand on your thigh and lets it rest there. "I said I was sorry. I know I fucked up majorly, but something just came up and—"

"Something came up? Something always comes up for you. You couldn't even take one second to text me or let me know? It doesn't take much."

"I know, I thought I was going to be able to make it in time."

"Right. I've heard that before."

"I'm sorry." He repeats.

"Heard that before too." You shake your head. "Seonghwa, I think we should just stop doing this, okay? Clearly, you have better things to worry about and I'm just tired."

"W-what?" He looks at you, really looks at you. Almost in disbelief. Probably disbelief. "Baby, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna lose you."

"It doesn't matter if you do, you always have someone to fall back onto." You shoot back, and he's silent. Of course he is. "I thought so."

"No, you're not giving me time to get my thoughts together." He panics. "Y/N, baby. Please. Hear me out. I don't wanna lose you. I really don't. I know I fucked up time and time again, but I'll do better. It's always been you and—"

"You're only worried about losing the idea of me, someone who will be there as your safety blanket when other shit doesn't pull through for you. You aren't actually worried about me, and you know I'm right." He scoffs and shakes his head, but he doesn't say anything, no. He can't say anything because he knows it's true. He quickly deflects and brings up the one thing that has been running his last nerve lately:

"Why don't you just say that it's Yunho?"

"This has nothing to do with Yunho, Seonghwa! I'm so tired. It's been months of this back and forth bullshit, don't you get it? It's so clear what this means to you, and I don't wanna stick around, waiting for somebody that doesn't even care about me."

"Don't say that I don't care—"

"You don't!" Your tone raises a bit, and this is when it settles that Seonghwa isn't good for you. He will never be good for you, good to you. He will never change, and you will never find an ounce of pure, genuine happiness being stuck here. "You really don't. You can't claim that when I've caught you multiple times doing shit behind my back, let alone left my ass in the cold like I was easily disposable. Multiple times." Tears are pricking your bottom lids and you're not sure if it's because of everything you've been through or if it's because you feel bad for yourself— for settling, for letting him walk over you. You are aware that, however this ends, you'll need to take a moment and say your peace to it. "I'm so done with it, Hwa. I don't need this."

"Wait, Y/N. Please." He says, hand giving your thigh a gentle squeeze so you don't up and leave right away. 

"No. We're just going to go in circles and repeat the cycle. This is done—"

"How can I fix this?" You furrow your brows and shake your head, letting out a scoff.

"You really have to ask? If you really wanted to know, you would've asked that question a long time ago." You remove his hand from your thigh.

"So, that's it?" He asks because he doesn't know how else to respond without sounding even more pathetic. "Y/N." Hwa panics again when he sees you swing the door open, stepping out without saying another word to him. Though, he couldn't really tell you why he panicked— perhaps, yeah, it's the thought of losing you, but mainly his image. How he'd look if people ever found out that you left him first. 

And you know this already.

In plain words, he's just worried about losing another girl on his list. Especially the one that was always there for him, the one that rarely gave him issues. Didn't get strung up too quickly, didn't really press him for shit over the months.

Damn.

Even though you said it had nothing to do with him, Seonghwa still thinks Yunho played a part in it. And that's fucking annoying.

"Y/N!" You hear him call for you again, even after you've slammed his door and stormed off to your apartment. You feel the tears pricking your lids again, and you're doing your best to hold it in. But eventually, the tears stream down your cheeks; one by one.

This is you saying your peace.

Then, you'll move on. As you should.

"Baby is back!" Chaery cheers but her smile instantly fades when she sees you wiping away at your face. "Aw no, baby. What happened?" You shrug as she comes to you and pulls you into her arms.

"I just ended it with Seonghwa."

"Oh shit, good for you! Finally!" Seungmin is still sitting on the floor, so he flicks her on the leg. "Ow! The heck?"

"What she means to say is that everything's gonna be okay, and that it's okay to cry if you need to." He looks at her and she follows with a slow nod.

"Yes, absolutely." You wipe the remaining stragglers and shake it off, returning Soobin's jacket to the dining chair.

"It's fine, I'll be okay. I needed to do that." You look at them with a reassuring expression. "It's just time to move past this." Chaery rubs your back.

"Do you need anything?" You shake your head. 

"No, but I'm going to head into the room and just chill for the night."

"Okay." Chaery gives you a small smile.

"Get some rest." Soobin adds.

"I will." You head off to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. It's still early but you don't think you'll be sleeping anytime soon with the thoughts that are currently bombarding your head. It does suck to finally part from something that no longer serves you, but you know it's for the best.

You were done.

Suddenly, you remember Seonghwa bringing up Yunho and it begins to irritate you. How dare he? He knows nothing about Yunho, and you hate how he's the first one he tries to blame. Shame that he's grown but can't take full responsibility for his actions. Until this day, Seonghwa has yet to fully acknowledge everything he's done.

He still finds a way to beat around the bush, implying that he did no wrong.

You shut off the lights and lay in bed with the mood lamp on, picking up your phone to finally respond to people. You sent your mom and sister a quick text before switching to Yunho's thread— realizing you still haven't responded to his last text.

you: ugh, that picture is perfect. the moon is sooo pretty tonight. 🥺

you: sorry for the late response, kinda got wrapped up with something super last min. how's your weekend going?

yunho: why the sad face? 😣

you: it'd be nice if we could go on a walk and look at the moon together.

yunho: aw yeah, that does sound nice. but, i hope the picture at least put a smile on your face.

yunho: & you don't have to apologize. but, it's been nice being at home and catching up with my family. what about you? everything okay?

you: i don't know? it's okay, i guess. just kinda tired.

yunho: you sure that's it?

you: no. 😕 but, it's nothing really.

yunho: calling you in a few, is that okay?

you: more than okay!

You continue to scroll through your phone for a couple of more minutes before Yunho's name lights up on the screen. A small smile pulls at your lips just as you pick up the call, Yunho rustling around in the background.

"Hi." You hear a bit more rustling before Yunho is letting out a [content] sigh.

"Hey, sorry. Just got in bed."

"That's okay." You chuckle. "I'm also lying down and just being lazy."

"Good, you should just rest." Yunho clears his throat. "You okay?"

"Mm, I don't know. I guess."

"What's going on?"

"I ended things with Seonghwa tonight." He remains silent for a bit before he responds with a—

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Again, just moving on." You chuckle a bit. "I did cry a teensy weensy bit, but I needed to let it out in order to let it go."

"Yeah, totally understandable. You sure you're okay? It's okay if you aren't."

"I am okay. It does suck though, we argued and then I just—" You pause. "I don't know. I guess I realized how this wasn't good for me. Everything came crashing down and I was so over it."

"Mhm." He softly answers, letting you continue on.

"I don't wanna keep being like that, you know? I don't say much, but I always feel anxious and stressed. I always end up thinking about what Seonghwa will do to hurt me next. That sounds so bad, but it's the best way to put it." You sigh. "It's just not good."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. It's not. But, it's okay if you aren't okay right now. Take your time."

"Thanks Yunho. Seriously. I'll be good." You let out a small, breathy laugh. "Just a moment of weakness."

"Not weakness." There's a small pause as you let Yunho's response sink.

"Hey, by the way. We're doing a scary movie night thing at our apartment soon. Do you wanna come over and join us?"

"Hm." He hums, thinking about whether or not he should just do it. 

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Fun for you because I'm sure I'll end up as your punching bag when things get too scary." You chuckle.

"No, not even! Seriously. We'll have lots of food."

"What movie are you planning to put on?"

"Would that be a dealbreaker?" You tease.

"Maybe." He plays along.

"I truly have no idea yet."

"Alright then." He laughs. "Yeah, I'll join." You gasp.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He reiterates.

"Aw, yay! I hope you didn't feel pressured or obligated." Yunho sits on his response for a bit; no, he doesn't feel that way. It might be new hanging out with you and your friends, but he was looking forward to just being in your company.

"Never that." 

"I'll text you all the details later." You yawn.

"Sleepy?"

"Kinda. Just exhausted."

"I can go if you—"

"Stay. You're good. Even though I might fall asleep soon." You giggle.

"That's fine." Yunho answers. The two of you continue to talk a bit about how home has been for Yunho and what you had been up to over the weekend. After the cute giggles and playful teasing, there's a nice, comforting silence that falls between you two. Yunho almost believes you've fallen asleep until you sleepily break the silence by calling his name.

"Yunho?" There you go, calling his name like you always do. It's becoming a weakness for him.

"Hm?"

"Thanks for always showing me the moon."

"Course." He matches your tone, and responds close to a whisper. Another silence settles in, but Yunho is positive you've fallen asleep due to the very small and soft snores he hears on the other line. He chuckles to himself before setting his phone aside, keeping the call connected on speaker in case anything went wrong.

He'd be there.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @marsattacks @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 [bold = can’t tag 😭]

[fullsunised]

hii!! can i request maybe scenarios or bullet points (whichever you like) of things dreamies would do with their partner? like fluffy and all. ty btw i like what you write <3

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈¹⁹: 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗬𝗢𝗨

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none

a/n: well hope this is what you wanted and thank you for loving my work </3 i love you sm. I did the top 3 things types and have included like affection types as well bro idfk what I made anyways. jungkook is so leng bro.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

late night calls. cause he's so busy, he absolutely adores talking to you over calls especially after a long day. just the thought of you being there for him is enough for him. yall just be talking about anything fr, from gossips, complains to how the day has been going, anything fr.

music. making music, listening to music, writing lyrics all that. he loves spending time with you doing what he loves the most- if you share the same passion, that's great because he's coming to you for help a lot and that. sharing playlists, listening to your favourite songs.

calling each other dude and bro. those are endearing terms for both of you. it's funny how easily you two do it, making everyone else doubt if you're actually dating but nah that's so normal in your part. you'd be calling him dude and bro everytime you have to make a point and him doing the same to catch your attention. of course there are occasional baby, and babe slipped in.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗨𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗔𝗡𝗚 ❞

painting skies with you. bro loves the company of you and the setting sun, calms his mind like no other. your sessions consist of you two making fun of each other's drawings, talking about life, future, present- or sometimes its just quiet, where yall are enjoying each other's presence.

watching moomin. even if you aren't actually watching it, the show just plays in the background while you two talk softly. these usually happen during nights, right before both of you are about to sleep. yk just the peace and quiet, with moomin in the background. thats it, that's heaven for him.

holding hands. he loves it man. just how perfectly your hands fit in his. he's just going about on his day, your hand in his when he suddenly kisses your hand, happy that you're by his side all the time, even if not physically. his favourite type of pda.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗢 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

gyming. although he isn't much into working out all the time, he loves going to the gym with you. like one of them routines yall have atleast thrice a week to keep both of you fit. he helps you with your workouts, and that.

watching anime. considering how bro loves one piece, yall be watching it most of the time (me fr). it wouldn't be just one piece it would be a lot of airing animes, that you two talk to your fans about on lives causing them to ship you two lmao.

having your arms around him. this is not an activity but boy loves it when you rest your arms on him or like touch him even slightly. makes him feel secure, and confirms the fact for him constantly that you're there for him.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

gaming. boy is gaming 24/7, so he expects you to do so with him as well. both of you are either competing with each other, or teaming up to beat others but either way that's his favourite pass time activity to do with you.

you sitting on his lap. just like how jeno likes you touching him constantly, my sun likes you on his lap especially on those days when you are lazy and don't feel like gaming, he loves you on his lap, watching him play while giving him ideas and that. boy plays 200 times better like that.

making playlists. yall would probably have like a playlist for every occasion and situation. oh someone is crying, play the sad songs, someone is mad play the angry playlist..yall do this so much that others find you bare annoying but it's your source of entertainment.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗡𝗔 ❞

cooking. you'd cook, he'd watch- or he'd cook you'd watch, or both of you will cook and make a mess out of the whole kitchen but in the end yall will be making dishes that are meant for the books- cooking is a natural talent for you two. he's on a day off, he's over your house and you two are cooking every meal for the day together.

watching horror films. you know how much he loves watching them. even if you're scared to death, he'd make sure you sit, tugging onto his arm while he watches it with no soul whatsoever. like what's the point of watching it, he loves ridiculing you and cooing at your cute self everytime you get scared.

baby talking. constantly. every single time. all the week. boy just speaks like that naturally, and being around him most of the time had you develop this alien ability. you despise doing it but do it unconsciously. his members eye you two weirdly as soo as you start doing that.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗘 𝗭𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗚 ❞

basketball. even if you suck, you'd be on your way home and boy is gonna see a court, pulls the car, and plays a match with you. loves making fun of you for your mistakes, would even take multiple videos of you playing and posting it on his insta or weibo.

touching knees. bro that's so hot, but listen he needs that physical contact. if you're ever sitting next to each other, instead of being over the top with holding hands or sm like that, he'd subtly just lean his leg towards you, and you do the same until your knees touch. reassurance you get me.

learning girl group choreos. New song is out, he's sharing it with you, with a comment saying 'let's learn this'. or you are blasting tiktoks onto his account, sharing one for every dance you want to learn. and then, at home yall play the song and teach it to yourselves, later uploading it

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 ❞

netflix. watching every show there is on that streaming site. yall don't even hesitate with what you have to watch, just find smth and play it- and definitely get invested in the show. that's how jisung knows almost every show to exist. because you force him to watch them all with you.

nuzzling into necks. his favourite thing of all time bro. even if he's meters tall than you, he's plopping himself onto your lap, and nuzzling his head into your neck. down bad fr. he loves breathing in your scent, makes him feel safe fr.

comparing sizes of hands. bro is laughing at you for how small your fingers are, but internally he's dying of cuteness. how can you be so cute bruh. boy is taking pictures like multiple to save them as his lockscreen and that.

©️FULLSUNISED.

[sun-stricken]

i love gray's friendships with female characters, at least through tenrou arc! like that he's at once the "cool guy," sweet underneath, kinda flirty, and embarrasses a little easily - it's very easy to come up with HCs for his female friendships and you can't often say that about the cool rival guys(TM) in anime!

like for cana - -they're were the OG kids in the guild and i like the idea that cana felt like she could complain about boy troubles to gray -they were also friends with benefits at some point 👀 they broke it off very amicably and cana still rants to him about "girl stuff." he always finds it boring when she starts but eventually he gets invested and starts ranting with her, by this point mira also joins in on their gossiping <3

for erza - -she was definitely his first crush/love around his own age and one of the reasons he responded so strongly when he saw her crying alone, was because he was reminded of when ur used to do the same thing since she lost ultear (like the flashbacks in tenrou island arc of her sobbing while clutching ultear's old baby clothes). except back then, he didn't know how to help and just pretended he never saw anything, and it's one of his biggest regrets. so he decided to do something about erza even if he was really clumsy at it. -eventually he learned ice-making and wielding all those weapons because he asked erza to help teach him (even if he had to swallow his pride to do it). at first it's just between them but eventually a lot of the guild gets invested and watches their sparring sessions - levy helps him find books about specific swordplay techniques based on erza's recommendations -once, erza criticizes his fighting style and says she can read every move because he keeps playing it safe and is constantly on the defensive; she urges him to be more spontaneous and unpredictable because that kind of creativity is well-suited for maker mages. so during the fight, she's got him pinned (as usual) and the guild thinks it's over until, on a whim, he suddenly kisses her... and in erza's shock he manages to unpin himself and hold his own ice dagger at her throat instead. the guild's holding their breath and thinks erza's gonna beat him up LMAO, and gray also immediately tries to apologize and grovel, but erza simply brushes it off and says he was the smarter fighter that time, so he won fair and square. they both don't know that it was the other's first kiss 👀 -to thank erza for training him, gray gifted her those diamond-knife earrings (i figured bc he also wears that cross necklace and occasionally earrings...) - he's not really sure if she even likes them because she didn't show too much interest in jewelry/makeup/anything that isn't strictly practical, but to this day, he's never seen her take them off -erza made him quit smoking lmao, he used to be smoking buddies with mira until they both quit. he still doesn't do it but sometimes at a town event or similar occasion, he might indulge in a cig or two - nothing more. but he never does it in front of erza -gray standing up to erza in galuna island arc is like a guild legend now. people always bring it up when they introduce him to a newcomer; gray feels kinda embarrassed and uncomfortable by it and tries to apologize to erza about it, but she says she doesn't mind at all and he taught her a valuable lesson that day

for lucy - -sometimes he sits in on her and levy's discussions about the short stories she's writing and her eventual novel. he doesn't really throw out too many ideas, he just prefers to listen because he's reminded of the tales of adventure that ur used to tell him and lyon after dinner. sometimes lucy asks him about his home country and stuff so she can write short informational articles about it in sorcerer weekly, and he's happy to reminisce. -he really does find lucy's apartment comfortable because it has multiple thermostats. lucy always keeps the laundry area a little cooler just for gray whenever he drops by, since she knows he likes sitting there

for ultear - -it's a little hard to look her in the eyes sometimes because she resembles ur so much, but gray always appreciates her presence. sometimes ultear asks him to talk about little things about her mother, like her favorite foods or a story about her, and gray's always happy to indulge. lyon joins in too when he can! -once lyon hit on her in front of gray much to the latter's complete mortification, but ultear just burst out laughing and lyon turned brick red (there's an unspoken plea from lyon to never bring that incident up, but gray's just waiting for the chance to use it against him) -he always feels a little jolt in his chest when there's something ultear subconsciously does that's just like ur - they both put their hands on their hips the same way when they're pleased, she dots her "i's" with big circles like ur did, and they have similar tastes in food. gray doesn't know whether to feel pleased or pained -ultear thinks gray's stripping habit is endearing -ur was kinda gray's first puppy crush in the early says of being her student (before she became like a mother to him), and sometimes he wonders if he might end up feelings similarly about ultear if they spent more time together -ultear gave him a very rudimentary communication lacrima where you can tell the other person's mood/general state of mind if you let a little of your magic flow into it. sometimes gray uses it at night to see if she and crime sorciere are doing okay <3

i love exploring Grays relationship with others so much, also this is so long and as much as i love it i cant think of things to add on to it

but this absolutely needs to be shown to the world and praised bc holy shit this great and im definitely stealing at least 90% of these

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

random question that may or may not be self indulgent (it totally is). Who in tr do you think is the biggest cuddler?

Ok I started this one off by planning to try and put everyone in order of who likes cuddling the best to who isn't keen. However it got too difficult lmao so they're not in order but this is what I got for everyone.

Hina- The one who hugs the most in the canon material, she definitely loves cuddles! Uses them to comfort people and also likes to be comforted with them. 

Emma- She is seen so often cuddling her bear, cuddles out of pure affection. When she's feeling overly emotional she gets very cuddly. 

Mikey- Commonly cuddles his towel/blanket, he just likes snuggling up to something or someone soft and warm. Will cuddle on instinct, just can't help but snuggle up to people he trusts, will then fall asleep on you.

Pah- Very cuddly, he's so warm to cuddle with too. He may not act like it but loves a good cuddle.

South- Definitely cuddles with those plushies he has, he finds comfort from cuddling. Happy to cuddle with someone he's close too, likely to talk or maybe even sing softly when cuddling too.

Angry- He also has a lot of plushies that he probably cuddles with. He just enjoys feeling close to someone.

Mitsuya- Definitely likes cuddling to show affection, must've cuddled with his sister's a lot growing up. He's also grown used to using cuddling as a way to calm someone down. Feeling stressed? A hug from Mitsuya can definitely help.

Shinichiro- Likes how loved and needed he feels when cuddling. Like Mikey he will demand hugs at random times. You're busy cooking? Nope not anymore, Shinichiro is hugging you now, cooking can wait. 

Chifuyu- Definitely enjoys the closeness and warmth from cuddling, used to cuddling with Peke J a lot. You could go to him at any time to ask for a hug and he'd happily drop everything.

Takemichi- He needs cuddles, cannot survive the day without a hug. They're his pick me up, he needs them for motivation.

Koko- Get's a bit flustered about it the first time or so but grows to be a big enjoyer of cuddles. Will seek you out for a cuddle and pout if you say no. He just wants to feel close to you and feel you in his arms.

Kazutora- Was definitely a bit nervous about hugging at first, the whole affection thing was a bit new to him and was nervous about doing it wrong. But once he gets comfortable then he loves cuddling, gets a bit clingy and will try to cuddle you as you go about with your day.

Rindou- Someone who craves cuddles but refuses to ask for them, instead he'll just get closer and closer to you until you're nearly holding each other anyway. 

Izana- Definitely thought cuddles were stupid at first, well until he started getting them. He likes the feeling of being safe and being able to hold you. Gets a little clingy though sometimes, doesn't wanna let you go.

Yuzuha- Enjoys cuddles especially if it involves either her playing with your hair or you playing with her hair. She truly treasures the quiet moments. 

Baji- Likes cuddles best when he's feeling tired, falling asleep while cuddling with you is the best, always gives him the best sleep and dreams.

Smiley- It's not umcommon for him to get embarrassed with cuddles but he still enjoys them. Really likes to cuddle while you two talk about your days together, like a little gossip and cuddle session. 

Kakucho- Another one who was a bit hesitant to start cuddling, he actually only started cuddling with you because you wanted it. Quickly realised he likes it too though, will ask for a cuddle when he wants it now. He loves the feeling of holding you, keeping you safe in his arms.

Shion- Thinks he's the best person at cuddling and will do it often to prove it! 

Ran- Will cuddle but as long as you don't mess his hair up or try to cuddle him when he's sleeping, doesn't wanna be woken up if already sleeping. Aside from that he's perfectly happy to cuddle, likes feeling needed by you.

Benkei- Loves cuddles but gets a bit nervous about them, was worried about hurting you accidentally the first few times so used to hug you very lightly until he got more used to it.

Kisaki- He enjoys cuddling, likes the attention and affection from it but his more logical side argues that it's a waste of time. Normally because of this he needs to be coaxed into cuddles, will happily cuddle after though.

Peh- Definitely gets a bit nervous with cuddling, is happy to do so though. 

Senju- Can get a bit overexcited when it comes to cuddling sometimes, will squeeze you a lot and happily chat about her day. 

Draken- Finds cuddling to be comforting, nothing he loves more after a long day of work then having some cuddles with you.

Wakasa- Likes cudding enough but not all the time. Finds it relaxing you to cuddle with you, a good way to relax.

Hakkai- May die if his partner is a girl and hugs him at the start of the relationship. He just gets so flustered by it! Does enjoy it though, just needs to take it slow.

Hanma- Likes cuddling to see your reactions, wants to see you relaxed or flustered or anything really. Seeing you like that is his favourite thing, likes holding you too and being held.

Mochi- likes cuddles enough but rarely asks for them, usually he prefers play fighting but is likes to relax and just cuddle sometimes too.

Inui- finds it relaxing to listen to your heartbeat and breathing, it's his favourite thing about cuddling. 

Taiju- will cuddle if asked, sometimes initiates too but prefers other ways of relaxing with you. Mainly initiates when he wants reassurance from you or when he's had a difficult day.

Naoto- is usually a bit too busy for cuddles, he can get very wrapped up in his work. Also needs you to coax him into cuddles but will oblige when asked. Enjoys cuddles but sometimes forgets to slow down and just enjoy them with you.

Mucho- he actually does enjoy cuddling more then people would assume. He likes the closeness and downtime with you.

Sanzu- Cuddling with him is going to be very different depending on what timeline we're in. If you're close enough to him then he does enjoy it though, having someone he can be a bit vulnerable with. 

[1watermelontea]

collabs (with the new hermits) that im so desperate to see in s10+:

• iskall & joel (they are chaos cohorts with similar senses of humour i hope they do more stuff together omf)

• joe & skizz (what is going on in their brains. they both have such unique brands of creativity. i need to see them interact more)

• skizz & xb (imagining the beef/xb interactions from the empires swap but with a heightened chaos factor. this feels like the energy of an xb/skizz hangout session)

• keralis & skizz (i feel like they’d make 17 different nicknames for each other in the span of 10 minutes)

• joel & tango (ik they’re both in the life series but they don’t tend to team long term—we gotta have them collab more)

• joel & cleo (same story as him & tango. him & cleo seem like they’d be such gossip girls of the server—bonus if mumbo’s added too, he’s been such a Hater this season LMAO)

• skizz & ren (specifically this season. ren has had such bad luck with being a reaper. skizz & ren should team on trappage. i do not have belief it will work but it will be hilarious)

AND SO MANY MORE.

[wooeo]

the niki hc of him clinging to enha girlie since i-land is cute! do you have any more i-land hcs for the rest of the members?

bc i saw a clip of sunoo walking around, looking for ppl to share a tub of cheeseballs with and the first thing i thought of was “how adorable would it be if sunoo and (name) were snack sharing buddies since i-land?”

whenever one of them has a snack, the other one comes up to them and asks for a bite. and they could have weekly gossiping sessions / kdrama watching while eating new snacks they wanted to try together

- 🔮 (i hope you’re not getting tired of me being in your ask box a lot lmao. i just love additional member aus)

(i would never get tired of you in my ask box, you're more than welcome to send me your thoughs <33) i have this whole iland thing im working on (barely) but also i havent watched it since it aired so my memory about it is fuzzy 😭

being snack buddies with sunoo omg cute !! the two of you being found sharing food 😢 after debut he would def come to your room and you watch movies together and snack and talk shit so true sunoo complaning about the other boys and you pointing out that he's the same as them 😭

also me thinks you and heeseung would randomly harmonize during iland... like you're sitting next to each other and one of you is quietly humming and then the other joins in and it feels like an angel entered the room

ijbol you know that face jungwon makes whenever he's near a skz member? 😭 he def had a hard time controlling his face around you. baby was so flustered everytime you as much as looked at him 😭😭 once you praised him and he got so red in the face he had to leave the room 😭😭😭

[cassberry]

(Looking to watch 3rd Life, Last Life or Double Life? Here you go!)

If you are looking for a guide of some Limited Life episodes to catch up on for no particular reason at all (certainly not a new season being around the corner), I've got you covered!

Now I'm not going to lie, trying to curate this list for Limited Life broke me. The mechanics of this season meant that you gained time by killing other players and in doing so it felt like 50 things were happening all at once constantly across the server. As such I haven't been able to get absolutely everything onto this list, but I did try my best to get all the important events and a wide range of perspectives!

WARNING: Incredibly long read more where I go over why I picked certain POV's and what to expect. I do so love to ramble. Spoilers ahead!

SESSION ONE

Skizz - Breaking from tradition from recommending Grian first because you need to watch Skizz's POV first out of everyone unspoiled. The way things unraveled this episode felt like a sitcom in the best and worst ways lol 

Grian - Just a good solid first episode honestly and with the start of the Bad Boys™ how can you not love it. 

Scar -  I really have no words for whatever is the dynamic of the Clockers because you really just have to see it to understand. It’s a fun episode and as Scar, Cleo and Bdubs have set up near spawn, you always get to see something interesting. 

Big B - Big B’s episodes are always a treat as he does super long ones that give you a little more insight into what's happening on the server, rather than just the big events. But if you wanted something specific to watch, his last 10 minutes of this episode were a blast. 

SESSION TWO

Joel - Bad Boys Bread Bridge was both the most amazing and ugliest build on the server and I’m so glad it was made. Also Joel gets some amazing kills this episode that are so tense to watch. 

Martyn - Look this one is here because of a little personal bias. Martyn shouts me out in the episode so I couldn’t not add it lol It’s also a very good episode in of itself in that it introduces the Mean Gills and I’ll always be a Mean Gills supporter. Also that Tilly roast? oof 

Pearl - Pearl is constantly on the move this episode and living up to her Nosy Neighbour title so watch her episode if you want some good gossip and to see the lay of the land. 

Tango - Tango always delivers a solid episode and as he was building the TIES Tower a majority of the time he receives a lot of foot traffic through the area creating some fun interactions. 

SESSION THREE

Scar - And in this episode of Limited Life, Scar rediscovers the joys of minecart TNT. 

Impulse - Impulse is such a fun boogey to watch, and the way he edited this episode around his thought process of who to kill was great. 

Grian - Kind of a different episode this session as Grian was sick so he was afk the entire time. It was very very very funny to watch, but as he wasn’t interacting with anyone you’re going to miss a lot of context if you only watch his POV. You should still give this a watch though! 

Joel - Watching poor Joel run around after Grian trying to keep him safe was incredibly entertaining lmao 

SESSION FOUR

Scott - I believe Grian said it best, but this session felt like a final session with the way the yellows were chasing after the greens. It was pure chaos the entire time and Scott beautifully evading them all until his descent into yellow was perfection. 

Tango - Tango is here for the same reason as Scott but as the last green the final hunt for him was terrifying to watch. 

Cleo - I love Cleo’s episodes and this one was just a joy. She was slightly sick this week but I feel like that only lowered her inhibitions to do some out of pocket stuff. 

Jimmy - The exciting saga of Judge Judy and Executioner continues in Jimmy’s episode this week and if you didn’t know anything about it, that's ok! Neither did anyone else on the server except for Jimmy, Pearl and Big B lmao consider this the best episode to watch if you want this plotline covered. 

SESSION FIVE 

Etho - Considering the episode starts off with Etho having to babysit Bdubs, then an awkward family dinner and an explosive game of catch, I really couldn’t have asked for a better Etho video. 

Big B - This session was a lot more calm than the previous, so there was a lot more alliance talk happening. Big B has a great perspective on all that as he and Pearl get up to a tonne of mischief that causes some problems with some alliances they already had. 

Scott - Once again this was an alliance building week and Scott’s episode really highlights some of the more fun things that happened to make and break some relationships. 

Grian - Poor Bread Bridge o7 you will be missed. Thankfully M-Rye 5 was there at the end to rain chaos from above. (<-sentences that make no sense out of context) 

SESSION SIX 

Cleo & Pearl - I couldn’t choose between either of these two this session. Both Cleo and Pearl were out sick so they handed over their accounts to two other players. I won’t spoil who they are but these episodes were amazing. 

Jimmy - The Bad Boys were going through it this week goddamn lol It never stops being funny how much of a mess everything becomes when they get together. 

Martyn - It was his birthday this session and he’s just a little guy! Surely nothing would go wrong at his birthday party? And certainly not caused by him! 

Tango - The last half of Tango’s episode is just a comical amount of deaths that only get funnier and funnier as the time between them shortens. 

SESSION SEVEN

Skizz - Oh Skizz. You are too good for this world. His ending for this episode was heartbreaking and Affirmation Station will live on in my heart forever.

Scott - I love watching Scott run around the map and hunt people down because he is so good at the game! I believe he had the highest kill count this session and I loved every minute of it. 

Joel - (Major Spoilers) Ah Joel it just wasn’t meant to be! But hearing the desperation in his voice grow higher and higher as the clock ticked down was nail biting. Scar - Just a good Scar episode honestly! Shows what the Clockers are up to during all the chaos and a great view of the server devolving into anarchy.

SESSION EIGHT 

Martyn - WOOOO YESSSS LETS GOOOOOO (<- does that count as spoilers???)

I distinctly remember being on the edge of my seat this whole episode and Martyn delivers in every way possible for a fantastic final episode of the season. 

Impulse - I haven’t mentioned it yet but Impulse’s editing this season went wild and it's none more apparent than in this episode. He and his team went crazy for the finale. 

Etho - Such a fun episode!! The twist at the end with the diamond sword coming into play was everything I could have wanted and more. 

Pearl - It was really a toss up between Pearl and Scott for this last spot, but I loved her perspective for the one last minigame on the server. 

BONUS 

Bdubs - Do you have a spare 12 hours to dedicate to Limited Life? Then oh boy does Bdubs have a video for you! Instead of weekly videos he decided to collate all his episodes into one mammoth video which was an absolute blast to watch over a weekend! It’s a really interesting POV to watch because when LimLife was airing Bdubs would just appear all over the map and we never had any idea what he was doing so it was awesome to have some concrete evidence of his shenanigans. Definitely give this one a watch if you’re in the mood for a marathon! 

IN SUMMARY…

I swear if the next season is as messy as this one, I think I’m going to have to start taking notes when it's airing because I think this took years off my life haha if you think I’ve missed anything please tag it because I would love to see it! I definitely could have added more POV’s per session like I did with the Last Life and 3rd Life guides, but I think a more curated list helps keep down the overwhelming nature of trying to watch a million Limited Life episodes. 

But really, I loved watching Limited Life live so I’m glad I give myself an excuse each new season to go back and watch the season over again. There are so many little foreshadowed moments that you don’t see on the first watch and honestly it all just makes me more excited for the new season! Thanks for reading <3