#feel free to make it longer
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BE FREE!!!
remember 2 do ur clicks!!
#neurodivergent#btw creature#tbh creature#wtf creature#tbh crechur#not my art#add is no longer a valid diagnosis btw ^_^#its the same as adhd#just a little reminder i didnt make this but sadly do not know who the og artist is as no credits were given :-(#if anyone knows the artist feel free to lmk so i can credit!!
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this
#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time#DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions#to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself#like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear ‘suspicious’#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever#also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him he’s feeling something different#in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasn’#even sure if it would work#in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him#and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president#in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. he’s constantly giggling before and after sentences and he’s super eager to just Get The Hel#Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesn’t have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore.#and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin#whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier#normal about this character!#rick and morty#evil morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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i love love love the way you paint back lighting!! do you have any tips/ a step by step for the way you do it?
ended up making a whole painting just to break it down and explain my general process for subjects lit from behind so heres that + a timelapse!
main thing for drawing anything with a strong light source behind is to make the main subject Darker and more desaturated to convey that the light is behind them rather than to their sides (face cant be properly lit if the light is behind). Also making the Main highlight the brightest hue in the image helps to intensify it. I tend to use teeth/eyes as a good comparison point
some people have a tendency to make the sclera white out of habit but darkening that+ the rest of the whites helps the image read as Darker compared to the brighter highlight
#art help#i wont make this any longer than this already ended up being but if u have any more questions please feel free to ask!#ive been doing a lot of these breakdowns recently#the sclera thing also applies to how i pick colors in general! establishing whats supposed to read as 'white' in art makes picking#the colors surrounding it easier#also careful of how dark u make an image it can strain ur eyes to work on something like that for a long time
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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished
#so… hi#i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon#i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be#& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but#idk it’s just been a rough month#but i’m starting to get the itch to create again#i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU#i also just really want to draw some stuff#i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS#i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl#doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them#but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do#i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but#but mostly nothing fun#i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month#& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then#i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous#i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol#but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone#if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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(Huling) sayaw sa ilalim ng kalawakan
#l4d2#left 4 dead 2#l4d2 nick#l4d2 ellis#l4d2 nellis#sfm#source filmmaker#sfm poster#l4d2 au#the caption was originally longer but I got a bit shy so quq#fan art#fanwork#my art#//#3 fucking songs got me on a chokehold that resulted to this ToT#even more funny that I used a song title but didn't really used it for making inspo quq#I just thought 'oh yeahh this song' then decided to do the funny#am totally not implying something dwww (I am)#anyway this gonna be the last render for now because am going to start focusing on prelims and fixing my sleeping sched (hopefully)#but ask box still open so feel free to drop by or somethin
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The main takeaways from Dracula so far:
Communication is good and healthy and important and if you stop doing that everything will go horribly wrong and people will die (based of him honestly and I agree)
Everyone who is smart and intelligent keeps a diary
#ngl this part of the book always gets me so tense#like look!!! your plans are backfiring!!! because you decided on that dumb secrecy thing!!!! dracula is THERE and you can't see him!!!#even renfield--if he was free to communicate it could have saved them a lot of grief#but he wasn't#so#also any time anyone is mentioned as smart they usually have a diary lol#today's smart diary keeper is smollet#working-class king honestly#anyway lol#technically spoilers so#dracula#dracula daily#dracula spoilers#spoilers#oct. 1st#re: dracula#I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so I might make another longer post but who knows
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Wrath I humbly ask you go into insane detail about your characterization for Alpha
OH YOUVE FUCKED UP
Welcome to wrath’s in depth guide to alpha ghoul and his story as I currently believe it to be and usually write it. Subject to change during random fics for my convenience or if I decide differently in the future but this is currently how the story goes
Including omega, delta and pebble details because I find it important to the story.
Idk how long this is going to be, probably very. I apologize in advance.
Alpha was summoned alongside omega. Two ghouls bonded from the start. Alpha to be a guard and omega to book keep and run the infirmary when they weren’t busy with the band. Primo found them to be sweet, good company while he summoned water earth and air to complete the band. Omega and alpha didn’t talk much to them at first, at least alpha didn’t. Omega was friendly, welcomed them with open arms. But alpha was stoic, and only kept to omega most of the time. He was meant to be menacing, not to mess around.
He was in love with omega. Time spent in practice close to his side, and outside of guarding primo he would sit in the library while omega made records of new and old important information about ghouls that the ministry could use. Helping him find the books he needed or sneaking kisses behind the shelves, they were borderline disgusting in their behavior, but primo and the other ghouls found it endearing, so no one mentioned it.
When secondo was sworn in he promised heavy changes to the ministry. The band hadn’t taken off like he wanted it to. Primo was soft, didn’t have the backbone needed for the job. Secondo though had the heavy hand to make them great.
Alpha was to stay by his side at all times. Almost no break from being his ghoul. By his side at the pulpit, outside his door, he was summoned for the purpose of protecting his papa. Omega stayed doing the jobs he was assigned, only seeing alpha when with secondo or late in the middle of the night.
They were forbidden from seeing each other outside of band purposes. It was a distraction, the ghouls shouldn’t be in relationships with each other, they’re religious servants and not much more. Lake and River got away with their relationship because truly secondo didn’t pay much attention to earth, air, and the constant rotation of water ghouls. But alpha and omega? They were distracting to everyone.
They would sneak off in the middle of the night to spend the twilight in each others arms before the sun would inevitably rise and they’d have to sadly walk feet away from each other in order to be at mass on time. Sometimes alpha would fake a cough or a sprained ankle just to feel omegas touch again.
Secondo eventually stepped down and was replaced with Terzo, along with two new summons. Delta, and pebble. Terzo did away with the harsh rules, and alpha and omega could be together once again.
Delta and pebble ended up being more … interesting new summons. Delta didn’t like to be touched or talked to much, mostly sticking around pebble. While pebble was loud and rebellious, much to omega and terzos dismay as he wreaked havoc around the ministry with delta in tow.
Omega wanted to retire, it was all becoming too much, and now that he had alpha back he wanted to spend all the time he could with him.
Delta was wrong, like any other water ghoul was. Something off about his demeanor that made omega sick to his stomach to witness. He would go feral, it was only a matter of time.
Delta begged, pleaded with omega to change his element, even though omega constantly denied him because it was too dangerous. Delta didn’t care, he didn’t want to succumb to the fate of the others. He stole books and whatever he could find from the library, and locked himself away to do it himself
The transition worked, but only barely. His eyes went dark, his personality changing, the quintessence eating away at him, killing him from the inside. Omega tried every spell he could to help, but all of the fixes never lasted more than a day.
Pebble blamed him, omega could’ve stopped delta. He could’ve just given him what he wanted instead of watching him do it himself because he knew he would fuck it up, pebble was convinced omega could’ve saved him if he tried. Hell, delta was omegas replacement. If omega just decided to keep performing they wouldn’t be in this mess.
Omega went to Terzo for help, begging for whatever forgiveness he could. Day after day not sleeping in his bed with alpha, going back to Terzo to be comforted. It wasn’t a problem at first, alpha understood why omega was upset. But the bed no longer smelled like him, his clothes were halved because he kept taking them to where Terzo stayed. It hurt, that was his mate, and now he’s found someone else?
Alpha would use pebble to fill in the gap, at least sexually. Pebble was easy, and a shithead, someone he could take his frustrations out on and he would continue to ask for more. It didn’t fill the hole in his heart, he never felt better afterwards either. But it was physical touch, he could feel needed for the hour and that’s what he really was after.
Pebble told him to leave omega, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Omega killed delta, and was now abandoning alpha? It wasn’t fair. How could he make all the mistakes just for the consequences to come down on everyone else. He told him to go to earth, hell even air. Anyone else, leave omega in the dust.
But alpha didn’t. He sat, and waited for his mate to return to him.
Ivy was summoned along with a plethora of new ghouls, including one to replace alpha as he had decided to retire.
Pebble found solace and love in Ivy, now spending all his time with him instead of alpha. And omega never came home. He was left alone to talk to mist sometimes and watch pebble and ivy fawn over each other while his room became his once again instead of sharing it.
Terzo is killed. Taken and beheaded in front of his band. News spread to the ministry before the clock struck midnight.
Omega was distraught. Destroyed what he could get his hands on in the chapel while alpha stood and watched, let him take out his emotions in whatever way he could. Omega returned to alphas room, night’s that weren’t spent at Terzo grave instead spent in alphas arms while he let him. He never mentioned the past. He never held it against him that he left. He was back. And that’s what mattered.
And omega would eventually heal, he would spend more and more time telling alpha he loves him instead of saying how much he missed Terzo, and with every I love you alpha forgot more and more of how they had gotten to this point. It didn’t matter anymore, he had omega back.
That’s how they stayed. The ministry’s resident old married couple. Often flirting with their arms wrapped around each other in the common rooms or making inappropriate comments just to hear the newer ghouls whine in disgust. They were cute, in love, and only those who had been there really knew what happened.
Alphas an old grandpa who shows he cares for his fellow ghouls with food and remembering their favorite colors and animals, and carrying them to bed when they fall asleep in weird places, but can’t voice his own feelings with words.
I hope this helped! Sorry for the … very very long ramble
#this is so fucking long I’m sorry#but no I’m not I could make it longer#one day I’ll write the water ghoul fic#trust me#anyways if anyone has any questions pls feel free to ask#you will get answers like this#alpha ghoul#the band ghost#ghost#nameless ghouls#wrath writes
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wednesday wip for the hades au?
i suppose i can do that ☀️☀️
———
“No, no,” Superboy says, “I’m the taxi.” He points a thumb at his own chest; hovering like he is, his hand nearly brushes Tim’s cheek. “You ever travel by sunbeam before?”
“No,” Tim says. “It’s…not usually an option.”
Superboy wrinkles his nose. “Right.”
“You need a barge over some lava, though, I’m your guy,” Tim adds, partially to diffuse some of the strange tension lingering around them, and partially to remind Superboy that Tim isn’t so easily dazzled, thank you very much.
At least not outwardly. Because it turns out, as Superboy rolls his eyes and holds out his hand—as Tim takes it, Superboy’s palm just this side of too hot against his own—as Superboy whisks them into the sky in a way that feels less like foregoing gravity and more like gravity just ceasing to exist—that traveling by sunbeam is, in fact, pretty dazzling.
#get dazzled idiot#sorry this installment is taking me way longer than expected! it’s because i keep adding to it#‘2k drabble’ next time i make a bold claim like that feel free to laugh me off this website#asks#my fic
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Why would Emps send a letter on a timeline where you side with Orpheus, he considers it a betrayal. Friendship over :'( My theory is that he flees if you free Orpheus is because he thinks Orpheus would kill him. And you did that to him. I don't blame him for not sending letters.
The same reason why art of Durge and Gortash having sloppy make-out sessions materialized with a vengeance after Larian announced 'babygirl got no time for kisses'
because it's fun. I'm having fun. With my suspension of disbelief and the artistic power to recreate more satisfactory silly conclusions that adhere to my personal tastes and not the game's obligatorily unfun tragedy.
#I don't even ship those two but they're definitely smooching in the same universe as pina colada Emps now#like obviously that's what the game is going for but what is the point of making art if not to spite the bad vibes such endings gives#no actually it's because I cast Wish and now Anything Is Possible. No take backsies.#Larian can't foil me now that they're no longer making anymore story content/dlcs. It's free reality-estate now babeeeyyy#You theorize Emps feels too betrayed to send a letter? go for it.#I'm gonna be over here having fun with Greygold having to deal with Emp's ridiculous shenanigans for a change. Tables turning indeed.
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the successful aftermath of the first ever (improvised) top surgery, invented by master katara of the southern water tribe and performed on fire lord zuko (circa 104 ag)
#sokka is a prodigy inventor that specializes in engineering and tactics.#and katara is a prodigy that specializes in EVIL SURGERY and ANATOMY MURDER. she just doesnt know it yet.#and zuko is her NUMBER ONE ENABLER#its like how azula is a prodigy in firebending and zuko is a prodigy in breaking and entering#hes like I bet you anything we can use bloodbending for good things (trying to make her feel better about it)#and it leads to unethical medical practices (because they cant do anything legal and normal for fun together)#she didnt even come up with a plan for how she was gonna do it she free styled and it worked#sokka hates them both so much hes never leaving them unattended together for longer than 5 minutes ever again#atla#avatar the last airbender#katara#zuko#blood tw#alicias art
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Computer Problems
If anyone heard the muffled sounds of violence that was me strangling my friends for telling me to do this.
And being logical and sensible about it how dare they!
Anyway so. I'm not sure who's actually aware of this? I don't think it's most people. But last year in February my computer got a huge crack down the middle of the screen, and the battery decided it wasn't going to be a proper battery anymore. Those of you who've been around for a while will remember that last year was incredibly difficult for me financially as the steady job I'd had for a couple years disappeared and other jobs I'd been promised dried up (ah, the joys of freelancing).
I now have an office job but it still couldn't fully cover bills until I got a raise which kicked in finally in March. I took on two extra jobs the last few months to try and take care of the debt I accrued last year trying to survive (and taking care of family members; I have been partially supporting a couple of them for the last 2-ish years).
I've put off taking my computer in to be fixed as long as possible. At first it was because until this office job my computer was my income, and I literally couldn't afford to have it out of commission for even a few days. Later it was because I simply did not have the money - my credit card was maxed out, etc - but it's been over a year and I can't see big chunks of the screen, and the battery is doing the equivalent of hacking up blood like a Victorian heroine about to die of consumption.
It's going to cost me $800 to get it fixed, and that's where this post comes in. I have a Ko-fi, and if anyone has anything to spare to help, that would be so deeply appreciated.
I know there is so much going on in the world and people who need financial assistance so much more than I do. Nobody owes me anything, and I feel terrible for even asking. But I've been informed there's no harm in asking, and so here I am.
Thank you for reading this long post, and my (as usual) long winded explanation. Any little bit helps, as does reblogging. I apologize for taking your time sharing this, and I hope everyone is staying safe and taking care of themselves.
Ko-fi
I also have a Patreon that's been on hiatus and I'll be returning to shortly.
#about lincoln#I feel like throwing up#but I just spent two months working three jobs including 12 hour days#to pay back this fucking credit card and I'm so fucking tired#I was hoping to make this computer last until September when I have another possible job coming in#but it's REALLY gotten a lot worse#I can't put off fixing it any longer#so yeah uh here ya go feel free to ignore it
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Hc that every time Chuuya is bandaged he's reminded of Dazai and hates it.
And back when they were working together Dazai is always overly excited about it not only because Chuuya detests it, but because finally, he isn't the only one who's gonna be sweating bullets due to the friction, he isn't the only one whose movements are considerably restricted, he isn't the only one seen as a 'poor kid' and taken pity on in the eyes of the public/their enemies, even if only for a handful of missions.
And Dazai will tease him about it, every damn time, poking fun at Chuuya's weak tolerance whenever he complains about them, about why Dazai even does this shit when 'he has no good reason'.
"But, slug!! We're matching!!"
"That's the worst part, I'm associated with a freak!"
But that makes way for an interesting scenario, where the roles are reversed. Where Chuuya, wrapped up in bandages courtesy of a recent mission, comes across a Dazai who's not (due to an attempt, perhaps, or they've been taken from him one way or another).
And Chuuya sees it for the first time, Dazai's wide-eyed vulnerability, him drawing into himself, the faded look in his eyes, like something vital has been removed from his body, much more than an organ or a nerve.
For the first time, they aren't matching when Chuuya is swathed in gauze.
So Chuuya begrudgingly offers his, slightly bloody and crumpled, because he hates being wrapped up in them anyway.
Though he can't help but wish to be encased in bandages more often from then on, just so he can understand, perhaps share, some of that pain...
#this sure got whumpy fast#I can make a longer post regarding this idea this but I'm so tired#so feel free to add onto this hc urself :)#shout out to @tulipe-rose for reminding me of how scared Dazai is of getting his bandages removed!!#pls tell me if it's okay to randomly tag you in the future I don't wish for you to be discomforted :>#The first line works with Present!Chuuya as well don't be fooled#It was but a mere spur-of-the-moment-softness#bc Dazai sprung back to himself so fast after taking Chuuya's bandages#and proceeded to be the usual pos until Chuuya forgot the whole ordeal to begin with#So ye#most in character skk behaviour I can think of in this scenario jreglbmslk#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#skk#sokouku#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd headcannons#bsd hc#bsd hcs#bandages#whump?#hurt dazai#J's post
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Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications
So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.
Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.
But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.
Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update
So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.
It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:
"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."
--
"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."
And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):
And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!
And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.
So, let's get this straight.
Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).
There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."
Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.
Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?
but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.
And what's been revealed exactly?
Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)
Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)
It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that
His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him
"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him
Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh
They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this
Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)
And for... what?
In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me
And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)
And now why does this make me mad?
Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.
But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.
But beyond all that. But most importantly.
This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.
I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.
All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.
And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.
Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.
It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.
And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.
"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.
"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.
"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:
"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"
Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.
Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my point is
This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"
And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...
It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.
And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.
Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.
This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).
"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.
Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.
Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?
It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.
And I can't stand it.
#VERY long ramble#<- i mean it. this post is chunky.#I have a lot of thoughts. And they are not positive. MM dev team when i get you.#Narinder enjoyers beware. I do not like your man and it's because of this update.#If anything I said in the post is unclear please feel free to ask and I will elaborate where I can! I tried to make my thoughts#as clear as possible. but i am also a fulltime college student with a keyboard that is currently retaliating against me.#My brain is a little scattered atm lmao. but if I hold onto this post much longer I might just anxiety myself out of posting it.#because nobody else seems to be having these same critiques. Save for my tiny little discord server where we are all very loud haters.#If you don't agree with me that's awesome 👍 please be normal about it tho if you are arguing i'm begging.#if this post gets any amount of traction I'm going to be wary about having my inbox open hkjsdhg#ok now the scary part.#cult of the lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#unholy alliance spoilers#<- i don'tknow if that still needs tagging but jic. also I'm wary of tagging characters on here. so for now i won't.#cotl#ok that's it for now. Runs away. Fast
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gayboys in the apocalypse whatever will they do!! rudy (top) belongs to me and luca (bottom) belongs to @mojaves :]
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#7 days to die#art#art:rudy#art for others#nuclearocs#nuclearart#background painted from photo reference by yours truly as well ^_^#ok so listen. 7 days to die is one hell of a choice to make ocs for but hear me out. i got 600+ hours in that game and dragged red with me#it's finally releasing officially soon as well btw!! leaving alpha after a decade#red and i are busy building a big maze for zombies that keep spawning within the walls of our blood moon base#so naturally we decided to project that onto some guys from our brains. rudy has existed for longer already but i'm reworking him#anyway hi :] i'm gonna try and draw more ocs from my roster rather than just the same 4 guys over and over again#so if that's not what you're here for feel free to opt out of the taglist that's totally fine!!#and on the other side of things if there's a specific oc of mine you'd like to see drawn at some point do let me know ^_^
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