#feel free to ignore this LMAO I just wanted to rant

[higgs-the-god]

.

[stellewriites]

oooo the yearning is hitting hard tonight fellas i think that means time for a distraction through writing!!

[rebelcliche-archive2]

on a real note: i love smut, genuinely. writing it can be a lot of fun, but it's really telling if someone only uses someone else's muse for smut. that's not cute. nancy is more than just a warm hole for someone's muse to enjoy. unless we have smth plotted where their relationship is based around sex, there should be more to the dynamic.

and i'm sure no one wants to hear this, but: this fandom's descent into 'smut or bust' is the weirdest shit i've ever witnessed. like, to the point where friends i've known for years are leaving bc they can't get interaction bc they don't want to smut / rp muses that aren't 'shipping age appropriate' to someone else's. it's a way different experience these days than the times in 2017, and not necessarily for the better in some aspects.

i'm not trying to sound preachy, i just think it's an absolute WASTE and disservice to not explore other dynamics with your own character and with others besides just sexual intimacy. there should be focus on other types of dynamics and interactions in this fandom, tbh. it's honestly pretty weird how there isn't / isn't much of them.

and all this to say, I LOVE SMUT AND THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WRITE IT IF YOU WANT TO! but it's a problem when you make people feel unwanted when you won't fucking write with them bc they don't wanna write their muse going down on yours / if they want to write something BESIDES smut with you.

[i-love-you-all]

a tragedy in 3 parts, quotes taken from me over discord to my friend who was not online to comfort me :(( (hence why i’m ranting here)

Part 1: “God, give me the patience for this game”

Part 2: “Nahhhh why is it getting worse”

Part 3: “Bruh, not grown men's mentals falling apart after 1 missed op shot and being down 0-3″

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

[perpetuallyconfusedgoose]

Some fic related pet peeves (not all of these will make me quit a fic but they still irk me)

-that stupid "creepy" font. it makes the story harder to read, and pulls me out of the story. fanfiction in the traditional sense is not visual story telling, and if you need that font to show that something creepy is going on then maybe work on that a bit more.

-the weird infatuation with skinny waists. like,,, its just weird and creepy to me. i dont know if its a kink thing, but i think we need more appreciation for squish in fic

-anything where you can tell the author has a weird superiority complex about something, for instance any character under 18 is 100% celibate and never ever thinks or understands their sexuality because blah blah its "pedophillic"

(no joke, one time i saw a fic where the writer claimed that the creator of the series wrote the characters ooc...)

-when a male character has a kid and is referred to as the mother. (i know terms are genderless and dont matter, but it feels very feminizing and weird, especially when the kid is biologically theirs or something. you can use father, even if the guy gave birth, its fine)

- this is probably just a me thing and is 100% inconsequential, but the difference between au and crossover (ex. the pjo characters replace the gravity falls characters/replace that story vs the pjo characters visit gravity falls)

when i look for crossovers, i want to see the characters interacting not an au

[falloutnewnobody]

sorry to rant but i hate tiktok so much there's a trend where people go to art exhibits and stand in front of works they think they could've made (which in and of itself i hate) but i saw a tiktok today of someone doing that trend in front of (untitled) portrait of Ross in LA and i actually felt physically ill. i wont link the video bc i dont want op getting harassed or anything and i'd feel gross about sharing it.

and like multiple people commented how fucking disrespectful and ignorant that was and proceeded to get flooded with hundreds of replies of people (including the op) being like "lmao its just a pile of candy its not that deep," or "just because it apparently has a meaning that doesnt mean that it's not stupid and/or easy enough for a toddler to do,"

which like... first of all i'm disgusted at the disrespect people are showing to such a beautiful, meaningful, and tactful piece is insane. i'm actually gobsmacked.

secondly like, yeah, everyone can create art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity. just because a piece doesn't require a lot of technical skill (and in this example i think the simplicity of execution plays into the themes and message of the piece) doesnt make it or the themes it conveys any less valuable or interesting. part of the point of art museums is to consider beauty and meaning in both the innovative and mundane.

i don't even have an argument like i'm just apalled by the kinda shit these people are saying and how it reflects on society that so many people are insulting such a powerful and emotionally driven piece in such a vitriolic and unwilling to learn way.

[averytirednerd]

Oh yeah, time for a big rant about Hazbin Hotel!!!

I haven’t really had much of a chance to sit down and write about this since I watched the episodes, so things I say are probably going to reflect what others have said. I’m just writing this to gush about the things I love about some particular songs in HH. 

I didn’t have any big expectations going into the first episode, because I’d mostly heard negative reviews of the show so far. I had heard that the songs, however, were bright spots, so I really looked out for the songs and listened in every time we were graced with one. The characters are truly the best versions of themselves whenever there’s a song going on, even if they aren’t the main focus of the song. It’s amazing to see, especially since my favorite thing about this show is the characters themselves.

My favorites are “Loser, Baby” & “Stayed Gone” and will probably be the main focus of this post because <3333

“Stayed Gone” is sung by Christian Borle (Vox) and Amir Talai (Alastor) and I could not be happier about it. Their voices are amazing here, and my favorite bits of this song are on repeat in my head.

I also love little visuals like the mug Vox has in the talk show format, the scrolling text in the news show format, or Vox’s error message toward the end of their bantering. 

(The scrolling text says: “I’m totally not worried about this guy and neither should you be. I totally wrecked his sh*t last time he tried me.”)

Alastor really gets under Vox’s skin and it makes me kick my feet every time. Their dynamic truly is everything, and I’m so excited we got this song that showcases it perfectly. 

He clearly enjoys it too, what a little jerk.

Speaking of these two, Vox definitely had/has a thing for Al at some point, right? I mean…inviting him to the Vees for a start. Not to mention just the v i b e s. Poor guy though, it’s definitely one-sided.

I love Al’s use of…modern…lingo. Truly a spectacle. That on top of it being a reveal of Al’s rejection to Vox’s offer 💀 I love this man <333

Last thing about this song, promise, but also I love the casual little lore drops and more pieces to the puzzle of the past that we get. Very exciting! Can’t wait to see how everything fits together once we find more pieces.

Okay okay, moving on. “Loser, Baby” is amazing musically as well as visually. 

First things first, I LOVE JAZZ OMG AND IT FITS HUSK’S VIBE AND EVERYTHING SO PERFECTLY???

Keith David’s voice definitely fits Husk in my eyes now, I see it, it works. He’s amazing. Does a fantastic job.

Not to mention Blake Roman’s performance was, of course, incredible as well. 

The big, upbeat, brassy sound in this song is amazing and I’m loving the trumpet in it especially (any fellow trumpet players? no?)

I love everything about this song. The visuals, voices, instrumentals, lyrics, message, all of it!

Husk slowly going from “yeah you kinda suck lmao, but so do I” in order to not make Angel feel like he’s not being genuine, to sneaking in a better message of “we’re not perfect but it’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself” (and getting Angel to believe/go along with it too!!) is amazing. It’s a perfect example of these characters being the best versions of themselves during musical numbers. 

This song is what solidified Husk as number 2 in my rankings (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). I mean…just look at the way he moves, it’s so silly.

(We’re going to ignore the Videoshop watermarks, okay?)

Overall, I’m loving this show so far despite some obvious issues with pacing n such and an overall rocky start. Especially loving the songs, which I think kinda make the show rn. 

If anyone wants to add anything (because I definitely didn’t cover a whole lot, just surface level stuff because even this took a while to type out) then please feel free to! Also ask me any questions you’ve got for me concerning stuff that has/will happen(ed) in Hazbin Hotel. I love HH discourse!

Thanks to those of you who read all the way through, sorry for such a long post lol <3

[cussima]

(kinda fake title so i feel like im writing a column in a romcom)

6 steps to getting the sp that makes you feel like a nervous idiot

(talks sp. accidentally putting people on a pedestal + how i manage it. started as a rant ended up as a master plan)

okay here's the thing:

theres this One man. who i think is cute. i think he's real cute. but i can't take him off a fucking pedestal

this GUY. some 20 smth year old guy. he's tall and funny, cutest eyes ever, and i really like him but he makes me so stupid.

listen to my low concept symptoms:

• i want to listen to the music he likes so he thinks im cool (NOOOOOO an angel just lost its wings)

• i want to dress in a way that's attractive but not too hot so i don't scare him off but not too boring so he doesn't think I am boring but i don't want to go too cute in case he doesn't like that (SISTER RUN AWAYYYYY)

• i get jealous of every pretty/fun/cool woman he sees (WHY WHY WHY THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT)

• i want to know he finds me pretty (an angel just died)

FUCK HIM!!! we all hate that mf (im so getting past this and making him mine)

so heres my plan for that !!🫦

• I'll concentrate on myself.

that's it. This is a me issue and honestly i dont understand why im projecting them into this guy. or what is making me project them onto him. Here's how I concentrate on myself:

• I first accept I feel this way: Accepting my feelings makes me calm down, it makes me feel less desperate for his attention, giving me back my power. I like him that's it. This also helps me see he's just some guy not some impossible god with super powers, he's tied down to all the laws everybody else is to: He's got no more free will than anybody else. (which means I can use things like thought transmission to my favor)

• Going back into myself: Exploring my hobbies and trying out new things! I already like the way that I am and the things that I do. Judging myself from the eyes of someone I've made up in my head is useless. It's also not helpful since I'll be creating a less than ideal version of him.

• Going on about my life and hobbies is also a great way to forget about him lmao, that way he's not the only thing on my mind !! Which is so important because I don't want to step into limmerence territory. (If I already am then damn my bad)

• I'll keep affirming good things about myself obviously. I won't give up my hard work for some man, even better, this will help me get an even better self concept and come out hotter than ever.

• Shadow Work: I don't waaant to do it, but if it comes to it you can't ignore it or rather I don't want to. I don't know what part of me is wounded for me to react like this but I'll take care of it specially since he makes me so freaking nervous 👎

• OBVIOUSLY!! THE MOST OBVIOUS ONE OF THEM ALL!! I'll fulfill myself in my imagination. I'll just imagine my desired version of him (and us 🫦)

I'm really about to do some sort of 6 steps of grieving of this but more like a 6 steps to getting the sp that makes you feel like a nervous idiot.

I'll decide whether or not I want to be in a relationship with him once I get a hold of myself. I will take my time with it because I want to but if in 10 years I have his babies I'll let you all know.

[lemotmo]

Hi, I need to get something of my chest if I may. If not, feel free to ignore this message. ❤️ I've been so livid and angry about some peoples rasist, sexist and dare I say queerphobic behaviour all because of a fucking FICTIONAL character!! It's been going on for months but this is really the tip of the iceberg, like fuck those hypocritical asslickers and lfj for instigating it, for everything they said. Wanting for Ryan to get deported? Like where to? Texas?? All of a sudden he's not white enough lmao. And everything else they are saying about him and Oliver and Angela Bassett??? I'm not saying lfj didn't get hate but lmao he knew for like two months that he was leaving... Them claiming he's a victim and that he was bullied of the show when he was only a guest star and sorry to say not that great of an actor... I have no sympathy for him and based on all the problematic shit he said, I'm glad we are rid of him and his minions. Good riddance I say, no one is going to miss them! And with the shitstorm they are causing, why would the show want lfj back or any show for that matter??? I wasn't around prior to S7, but I understand what Tim meant about the fandom being worse than ever. I've been in some fandoms where things were tense but nothing like this. Sorry for the rant, it's just so infuriating to see how they behave toward real life people over a bland fictional character. They can like who they want for whatever reason, but imo there here are tons of better gay characters out there and claiming he was some revolutionary representation or whatever tells me all I need to know about them. Sorry again for the rant idk who to talk to about this. Hope you have a nice day! ❤️🙏

Oh Nonny, it's clear you needed to get this off your chest. It's okay. I get it.

You only came in during season 7? You missed such a great period before that. I'm not saying everything was alway perfect and there definitely was fandom discourse. That's unavoidable. But it was discourse on another level. Nowhere near the level we reached over the last couple of months.

But as soon as the Tommies appeared things changed considerably. We were all harassed, accused of terrible things and called 'delusional' for shipping Buddie, a ship that had been around since season 2.

We went from a relative peaceful fandom to a toxic fandom in one single episode. I got called homophobic for not really vibing with Tommy two days after the episode had aired. It was the beginning of a long and very exhausting journey for all of us.

Tommy/Lou and his unhinged fans are the worst thing that has ever happened to the 911 fandom.

But what is done is done. We can't go back. We can only move forward from here. And the future seems so much brighter. No more Tommy and after the way Lou egged his fans on to attack the show and Oliver? Well, we won't ever see him back at ABC. 😏

So let it all out Nonny and then move on. We're in the thick of things right now, but it will all soon pass. As soon as the fandom moves on to the new episode, the Tommies will scatter and probably follow Lou to SWAT. Some hardcore Tommies will stick around, but if we all collectively ignore them, they'll eventually go away as well.

I hope you have a lovely day Nonny!

[coolmanjohnny]

SAW: (unrated) rant

Okay. I just watched the unrated version of Saw (2004) in theaters. So for some reason, they alter the ending for the unrated version of Saw. I have no idea why they chose to do this. I didn't see much discussion going over the details so I thought I'd go over it and why I think its inferior to the original cut. (Forgive me if I seem nitpick-y, I just love the original film so much haha. Totally fine if you like the unrated ver., I'm just sharing my thoughts here.)

To start, the unrated is advertised as a version with more gore/blood, which it does fine on that part. There are a few extra seconds of shots, for instance, the scene where Amanda is sifting through organs, some of the crime scene photos, and the wire trap maze is slightly longer. Here is a good article that goes over the Director's Cut with more details if you are interested. (I believe the Director's Cut is the same, if not very similar, to the unrated version? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Also, I think the colors are also less blue? I can't confirm this though. I believe there may be a few other details changed as well, but they're not super relevant. Feel free to share any ones I'm missing just for fun though.

These extra shots are fine, thumbs up emoji. My problem starts and ends with the final moments of Saw (unrated). This is Tumblr. You all know the ending to Saw and are probably obsessed with it. It's incredibly impactful and angsty. Its one of my favorite ending sequences of all time. I still think about Adam being left to die alone often. RIP.

Now, lets go over what's changed in Saw (unrated)'s ending:

Some of the final lines are cut out. (Why???)

For some reason, they cut the line where Adam asks, "Am I gonna be okay?" and Larry turns back and says, "I wouldn't lie to you." Why would they do this? I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they thought that it contradicted with Lawrence's character, since he is in fact a liar/adulterer? Maybe they thought it was too "hopeful"? Homophobia? (joke)

I think that it's really a shame, because it makes Larry much more likable imo. This one moment is representative of his character development in the film. There are a lot of complex emotions tied with that one line. For once, Lawrence isn't lying to Adam. He truly does want to help. At the same time, you can tell that he feels uncertain. He doesn't know if he actually will be able to make it back in time (if even at all).

Notice how he responds to Adam's question in a roundabout way. He doesn't know if Adam will be okay.

In a way, Jigsaw's trap did work. Lawrence learned empathy. LMAO. It is also makes Adam so much more tragic, any last glimmers of hope he had left get ripped away as soon as he realizes that Jigsaw isn't who he thought it was. They are both fucked. (Ignore that Saw 3D exists for a second here, lol. I definitely think that the original implication here was that Larry is screwed. Either Kramer gets to him, or he bleeds out.)

Here is the original scene for reference:

2. The end credits are changed.

Saw ends with Adam's haunting screams bleeding into the end credits. There's about 20-30 seconds of silence/very subtle music. Then, it leads into the song "Bite The Hand that Bleeds" by Fear Factory. I just LOVE the angst.

Now, lets see what the unrated version is like. (I had to really dig to find this lol.) Obviously, there is no longer licensed music. It instead plays the "Saw theme". (I believe Hello Zepp/Overture is the official name of the song?)

It's...fine. (Once again, forgive me for nitpicking. I'm starting to think that I may be overreacting a bit, lol.)

I sort of understand why they would change the licensed music. It makes the first film feel more "connected" with the sequels; now they all have matching theme songs. (Another idea is that they simply didn't get the rights back to the original song for the re-release. I'd have to do more research on this.) However, it still makes me sad, lol. I just love how edgy and aggressively 2000s the original end credits feel. It matches the film's tone so well imo. The filmography of Saw reminds me a lot of early 2000s nu-metal music videos (unique colors, over-edited to hell, etc.).

I want to really emphasize the importance of film preservation in this post. Thankfully, the original theatrical cut of Saw is pretty easily accessible. (However, this isn't the case for all films. Star Wars is probably the most famous example.) I am just a little saddened that some first-time viewers will end up watching this version of the film without being aware of these changes. I love Saw so much you guys

[mubabee]

i don't do character x character ships either (avid selfshipper here) and OH. MY. GOD. the breath of relief when i read your post. i thought i was probably the only person on the planet who doesn’t want to see that on my dash.

also, if you didn’t know, you can go to tumblr settings and filter the name of the ship so whatever post that's tagged with it will be hidden from you.

i hope you don’t mind if i rant a wee bit ^^; otherwise, feel free to ignore this.

relating to my statement of enjoying self ships, there are two main reasons why this annoys me to no end: the first one is personal and you may call me petty, but i often get jealous seeing my faves blow up in another ship, but i can't control how i feel sometimes. that being said, i've always kept this to myself, and instead just try my best to not interact with content like that, but sometimes stuff happens, like people not tagging the post properly or they use another name for the ship that i haven’t filtered.

the second is when one or both characters in the ship are reduced to just. being the other's partner and nothing more?? or when i can't seem to talk about just one of them without someone bringing up the other one. there have been some cases where i legit end up hating both characters because of this—say one of them is my favourite but in almost every corner of the fandom someone will always have to make it about the pairing rather than the individual themselves and. and. sighs.

...let's just say some of my faves have become a topic i never want to bring up in a conversation.

I understanddddddd

That is personal and I understand why you could feel a lil jealous. All I can say is try not to think about it much because, respectfully, these men and women aren’t real. I personally don’t care much cuz it’s just art and fiction at the end of the day, but why is there so much on my page when I keep pressing not interested? Like the art I see is absolutely amazing so I screenshot it and get rid of it after.

But then it comes BACK like miss girly why are u still here

You’re so right on the last one but I can’t say that cuz it’s a lil hypocritical of me lmao. If I find some fictional character attractive, best believe x reader sht is gonna be my main thought involving them. That’s why I draw (y/n) with everything, cuz i’m not here to just draw fanart. 🤣🤣

ahhhh please don’t let a fandom ruin a character for you! Headcanons and ships end up not being canon most of the time, so try to ignore it if you don’t like it. And I’d also suggest taking a break from whatever makes you feel that way.

also ty for telling me of that feature, I didn’t know Tumblr had that woohoo

[themulitipurposechannel]

Dynamics: Part 2, <Next!>

For Apocalypse F! Mikey: Now see Uncle Tello content is great and I love it. But consider this, it’s alr everywhere AND think bout Master Michelangelo /Uncle Mi/ lowkey unspoken Dad!Mikey supremacy ✨👀 think bout uncle Mi being the warm/comforting/ steadying presence that Cj clung to when Leo and April are stuck being the sole two pillars of leadership for the entirely of sentient life on earth and Donnie is off doing his mad scientist things(No hate to D but we know our boi has low empathy and tends to get hyper fixated to the point he ignores everyone. Not that he wouldn’t absolutely try for Junior cuz he would but ya know what I mean) which leaves the Mikey cuz our poor Raphie and Casey Sr died early.

Like Cmon guys hear me out Mike alr has Dr feelings and his ole mediator shtick. you can’t tell me that as he grew and matured it didn’t not grew stronger. Plus he defo Leaned into the whole mediator thing esp with the apocalypse cuz someone defo needed to be the calm mediator in the chaos that was the kraang. Plus he was ALR the most mentally/emotionally stable out of all the fam and a child in a chaotic environment (cough the apocalypse cough) is gonna unconsciously gravitate towards that. And mikey being mikey is then absolutely gonna white knuckle his “I’m emotionally healthy” even more cuz we got a kid now. We gotta make sure he grows up with SMTH.

Plus I like to think everyone had diff roles in raising Cj. Eg: Cj spends time with tello if he wants to hang out and blow shit up or wants to brainstorm tangible solutions. but if he needs/wants emotional support or emotional safety he goes to Mikey and if he wants all of the above plus advice in general it’s Leo and Comander April lmao (but 7/10 times it’s Leo). Side note: Before Raph died he and mikey used to tag team M’s role and April’s role was formerly Cassandra’s but welp we all know what happened 😭. Also I just wanna make it clear that these roles weren’t always hard and fast rule. It’s just generally the common status quo but was still subject to change depending on the circumstances cuz ppl are ppl and ppl are complex. Like if Cj was feeling particularly scared for Dee or April’s mortality I can guarantee he glomped them. And they let him.

Edit: In any case, their dynamic is basically all round calm, slow and cozy vibes. Cuz like I said, Mikey was acting as Cj’s living sentient equivalent of a warm, weighted blanket. Plus mystic overuse/cursed aging gave Mikey a lot of chronic fatigue and plus Mi leaning hard into the whole mediator thing rlly made him mellow out esp when he had to be responsible for a kid. So most of their hanging out was either sitting around talking about their day, making up stories bout random objects they found like ‘I bet that cup has a chip in cuz an alligator got it’ ,Cj ranting, mystic training, lots and lots of snuggles or (big shocker I know) Mikey reading to Cj (don’t Judge Cj, he finds Uncle’s Mi voice calming. And as tor Mikey, options are limited when you’re old, physically frail and in an apocalypse) or them reading whatever they can find in comfy silence with the occasional comment of ‘man this character is so stupid’ and ‘I know right!’ Or ‘im pretty sure this accident report is faked.’ Also In the earlier days when resources weren’t so scarce and Mikey had more energy they used to draw on the walls tgt using chalk but well.. stuff like that don’t last very long in the apocalypse.

.

For Past/present time: Once Cj starts to properly distinguish between future and present and feels a little more ready to start properly interacting with P!fam. He starts to build a stable relationship with Mikey. their dynamic is one of more equal standing cuz of the lack of age difference aka the big theme for this dynamic is all abt growing up tgt. This creates a more free and unrestrained dynamic where both feel more encouraged/safe to try new things cuz they don’t have to worry bout any hovering from any older siblings (sorry Leo he tries but even he can’t fully escape the big brother instincts even towards Case. Which is hilarious cuz Cj is the most self sufficient out of everyone XD ) and cuz they don’t have to worry bout looking stupid in front said older siblings if they fail/ being coddled if they fail. Initially it was a very big whiplash for Casey to adjust to the fact that someone he used to look for answers/ be a pillar was just as clueless as he was AND the fact he could freely argue back with said someone due to the lack of age difference.

But once both parties settled in, they have alot of fun just being kids and messing around. Honestly their dynamic is adorable. With Mikey’s more adventurous and more hopeful personality helping Cj start to relax a little more and start acting more like the 15 year old he is. And Cj’s more serious and sensible mindset helps Mikey become a little more thoughtful/cautious as he’s more open to Cj’s criticism cuz it feels alot less condescending than the rest of the fam due to the age similarity.

This dynamic also plays a part in Cj’s adjustment to the past. Due to said adventurous behaviour, Mike always wants to show Cj new things. And his emotionally intuitive nature helps him pick up when Cj is uncomfortable but doesn’t always feel comfortable saying it or can just generally quickly pick up the warning signs of a trigger. So after some trial and error Mikey gets pretty good at knowing when to push and pull Case out of his comfort zone or just out right cancel an outing cuz Dr feelings can sense the ensuing panic attack/ PTSD triggers. Which Casey rlly appreciates. On the flip side, Cj is the biggest advocate (second to Leo) for letting Mikey do his thing cuz he knows what Mikey is capable off and isn’t blinded with older sibling instincts. Which Mikey greatly appreciates. We stan mutually supportive siblings.

And as the youngest, they both bond (mostly Miguel talks, Cj listens oh how the tables turn) over how frustrating it is to see the rest of their family (for Cj it’s him using his experience with F!Fam to relate to P!Mikey cuz the P!Fam don’t rlly baby Casey the same way/the obvious extent they do for Miguel. For Mikey, it’s more they water down info either intentionally/unintentionally or try to stop him from doing stuff cuz they want to protect him. And for Cj, it’s more them trying to be extra subtly careful of his sore spots. Like Legit cuz of Cj, everyone at some point had independently googled ‘how to care for war-torn ptsd riddled relative’ and ‘how to help someone with material insecurity issues’ or ‘how to support someone going thru bereavement’. For once it wasn’t only Mike reading psych stuff lmao) trying to water things down for them like dums dums XD.

They also tag team the rest of their family with the combined powers of their puppy dog eyes and shared status as “baby’s of the family” to get out of trouble/get what they want like the gremlins they are 😂. Generally when hanging out they’re either doing things action driven stuff (a stark contrast to F!Mikey and Cj. Cuz P!Mikey is younger, less traumatised and hasn’t been peepawed) like graffiti (Mikey sprays full on masterpieces and Cj loves spraying colourful doodles cuz he’s delighted to play with all sorts of bright colours and see the pretty art Anglo makes that Cj didn’t have the luxuary of seeing in the apocalypse, so despite the huge skill gap, which is rapidly becoming smaller, they still have fun tgt), skateboarding, playing video games, parkour or Mikey kidnapping Cj to show/get him to try smth he didn’t get to do in the apocalypse, *cough the occasional arson cough* Like I said they’re awesome lmao

On a side note: both Cj and Mikey are very happy to have a cool brother/friend who is the same age as them. For Cj it’s cuz fellow kids were very rare back in his time. Meaning the kids that were round him were either much older or much younger so same age friends is very much a novel experience lmao. As for Mikey, although he does call Cj baby brother( he doesn’t actually enforce that unless in certain situations like Cj in distress or trying to get Cj to do Miguel’s part of chores lmao) most of the time he’s happy to not be alone in his age grp of family/friends cuz it can get a little lonely sometimes. Raph, April and Casey have each other, Donnie and Leo have each other and now Mikey and Cj have each other! Yaayyy

[weirdozjunkary]

Insert me ranting about the state of IDW Sonic (spesifically just sonic himself) cause I have a few words regarding the recent issues.

(DISCLAIMER: if you like the IDW comics that’s fine, I’m not saying that it’s bad to like them. I’m just expressing my opinion about what I see regarding the series so far.)

In general I don’t mind what SOA is doing to Sonic in terms of his character, making him have morals and all that. Even if it’s OOC compared to his Japanese counterpart, I personally think it at least somewhat fits given who Sonic is as a person. I know that from region to region, characters can be characterized differently.

THAT BEING SAID, I absolutely hate the recent direction with Sonic and his morals in IDW. He forgives people way too fucking easily and that literally always fucks things over in the end. It feels like a cop-out for more drama, instead of doing something interesting with it.

While I know that forgiving people as a form of morals is alright, but when every single time Sonic does that it always creates something bad. As well, the way he tries to justify it makes him sound so fucking unlikeable and comes off as entitled. Like “I believe this so you have to agree with me.”

As well, it bugs me so much how ignorant everyone seems to be now, ESPECIALLY post Metal Virus. Characters forgiving villains who have LITERALLY nearly killed or have killed or show no want in redemption. Characters who overreact in the most in appropriate times (issue #63-#64).

Now I know SOJ has the final say in everything (post Archie) as far as I’m aware, so I don’t know what exactly goes through with them or not. But I find it so frustrating when these characters act so stupid, especially in the most high stakes of situations.

It makes me so upset, because with how these characters react, it makes most of the villains seem more in the right. Like Surge, who though her ways are admittedly very extreme (killing off the heroes and villains and anyone who stands in her way so she doesn’t have to be hurt anymore), she seems at least a bit more logical than Sonic, who seems to be just like “lmao I fight people but I want them to be good so I let them roam free and cause problems.”

While in previous issues these problems aren’t extremely obvious, in the recent issue (#67) it is so obvious it fucking hurts. The fact that literally everyone apart from Whisper is so trusting of Surge and Kit, and all because Sonic trusts them completely, even if they LITERALLY show they don’t care and want to cause problems. Not a single one of them (apart from Whisper) even remotely shows any suspicion of them, or even decides to keep a closer eye on them. Everyone is just like “okay, this is completely fine.”

[autumngracy]

Hi, just a random question from a fan of AROS (for which I have no coherent words to decribe my admiration)- I'm sure you've been asked this a million times already, but I'm quite new to this fandom, so forgive me and feel free to ignore the question, of course- who did you base your Javert on, appearance-wise?

Actually I don't think anyone directly asked this before!

To be honest I didn't actually base him on anything or anyone in particular ... I think the reason for this is because I read the brick before ever seeing any adaptations of Les Mis, so the first Javert I pictured was just my own interpretation of him from the brick ...

And what's funny is I can't remember if I originally pictured him with short hair or long hair. I read the 1938 Heritage Press edition of the brick, which is the Wraxall translation + about 1500 Lynd Ward illustrations, and in those illustrations he has short hair. But, oddly, I didn't remember it as being short in those illustrations? I had to go back and look years layer to confirm. (Alas, my beautiful Heritage Press copy is lost somewhere now!)

So I don't know if the long hair thing was me originally picturing it that way despite the illustrations being otherwise (possibly because the illustrative style made it somewhat vague at first?), or if it was from me later getting brainrot from looking at all the post Terrance Mann Javert designs ...

Best I can say about the hair issue is, well ... I just really happen to like male characters with long hair ... idk why lol. I have a lot of male OCs with long hair and every time I make one, part of my brain goes "Another one? For real? Do we not have enough of these little bitches already? If you don't stop putting long hair on all these characters people are gonna start to think you have some kind of kink."

Which. Well. I'm actually asexual so idk lol I think it's just an aesthetic preference

ANYWAY

For his wardrobe, that's just the brick descriptions plus factual research into 1830's era menswear. The only anachronistic element of his appearance really is his hair, but I do get around that by pointing out that he could have simply picked the (older and naval oriented) style up while he was at the Bagne (which did in fact have a dress mandate for keeping long hair tied up, suggesting it was a common enough hairstyle among the guards) and just never dropped it even after it became unfashionable—because A) he doesn't seem to give two shits about being fashionable, B) keeping short hair means either spending money to keep it short or having an intimate enough relationship with someone that they will do it for you free—neither of which I can see him wanting to do—and also C) he appears to be a creature of habit, so keeping the same, easily self-maintained hairstyle over the years fits my understanding of him.

Also, I'm not even exaggerating his tools of the trade because there really is a line in the brick about him having some kind of sword, which I had to go back and reread several times because it surprised even me (but it's 3am and I'm too assed to look it up rn). And we already know he has 2 pistols and a bludgeon (which the brick says he holds tucked up invisibly in his sleeve, Assassin's Creed style, lmao).

On another subject—

Given his stiff and distanced way of interacting with the world, questionable of social skills (see him bluescreening when Fantine is pleading with him in the mairie by way of what may be thinly veiled sexual advances), as well as his black and white thinking, penchant for being distracted by his thoughts to the point of complete obliviouness, propensity to either give extremely short responses or to go into ranting monologues, with little in between—plus the idea that he hates reading but makes himself do it for self improvement reasons, and how he seems to start stimming when lost in thought—I could definitely see him possibly being Autistic or having ADHD.

Now then, about his race ...

I know originally I actually pictured him differently than the Javert I wrote for my fic—as more white, at least—the way he appeared in the Lynd Ward until I read people discussing how he was probably supposed to be part Romani. And when it came to me having to pick conclusive character designs for my fic, I thought it would be much more interesting if it was a Javert who was visibly Romani instead of white passing, which he seems to be in most everything that bothers to mention his background.

I do find it weird that he's seemingly been played by nothing but white guys except for Norm Lewis and David Oyelowo (that I can find). So there's never really been a Romani Javert in stage or screen adaptations ... However, there's still a decent amount of fanart that shows him as darker skinned/Romani, so at least there's that.

Anyway I find that a visibly non white Javert just adds a lot more nuance and depth to his character, even compared to a still Romani but white passing version of him. Because then it changes how he interacts with and views the world (and vice versa), and it changes or adds to his motivations for doing what he does. It brings his (very canon!) struggle with internal racism to the forefront, which a lot of adaptations downplay or completely ignore.

I think part of why this appeals to me is that in modern times we are very used to the idea of the shitty oppressive white cop who is approaching everything from a position of absolute privilege and authority (which is a very shallow and uninteresting archetype, character-wise) ... and brick canon Javert, regardless of whether or not he is white passing, is not coming from a position of privilege—and not just because he is poor. He is coming from a position of social insecurity and vulnerability, which (at least it seems to me) he is trying desperately to escape/overcome.

And this makes his motivations for choosing his specific job far more interesting than "shitty white cop that enforces the status quo because he gets off on exerting power over other people". It suggests a sort of willful mental dissonance and denial that also make a lot of sense in hindsight when we consider the effects of his derailment.

The idea of him snapping and realizing for the first time that most everything he was doing was morally corrupt (or at least highly questionable) is one thing (and a level of obliviousness/ignorance that is somewhat hard to believe, imo) ...

But the idea that he knew how morally reprehensible his actions were all along, and was repressing it on purpose? To gain the only foothold he could see on the ladder of a world he was born on the lowest rung of? And after decades, is forced by external factors to finally, finally look his decisions in the eye and confront himself about them?

Well, shit. That hits a lot harder, doesn't it?

And it certainly hits him pretty hard. Obviously (as I pointed out in the the fic) he did mentally store away notes of things he found morally questionable about/during his career over the years—he just didn't let himself act on them. But it implies he was aware of the injustices, even if he only relegated that awareness to his subconscious.

The brick talks about how he felt he existed outside of society and had only two choices in life—black and white thinking; criminal vs protector, etc.—and it spells out how this is pretty much the direct result of his internalized rascism—so, I mean ... I don't think it's unlikely that canon Javert knew from the beginning that he was sacrificing his his heritage, culture, and moral compass in pursuit of respect and recognition from society (and thereby, social safety).

And in a Post-Seine world, he's forced to reconcile with all of that.

I may have just spoiled a major upcoming plot point for AROS tbh but oh well I was dropping breadcrumbs of foreshadowing about it the entire goddamn time lmao

[l0stfoster]

YAPPING FOR A SEC IGNORE ME

This is lowkey just a little rant (outsiders mention included) because I'm going to explode lmao. I might delete this later I just need it off my chest I find the irony of how I went from relating to Ponyboy to instead relating to Darry so. Interesting. Especially now that college is up and coming and I'm,, not going. Not only can I not afford to go for what I'm passionate about (Illustration or Animation) without literally shooting myself in the foot for the future, but college is pretty much my only way to get out of my small town. People ARE usually stuck here for their entire lives, my parents and my wife's parents grew up here and will probably die here; my siblings all found their ways out-- one through the army and the other because she took the leap, went to college for what she was into, and found a way,, but I can't. Financial instability is something I've always been terrified of, especially as an artist who was raised to feel that way. My siblings don't think that way because they grew to break free from our parent's thoughts on finances, but I do; so taking the leap toward college and throwing myself into debt for life is not an option. Scholarships won't do shit bc I didn't have good enough grades for that, and I'm not where I need to BE as an artist to get a job with that.

My decision to not go to college is my own, but it’s not one I wanted to pick; and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over that. I’m looking into being a paramedic or an EMT because it's financially stable, but it’s not what I want to be. My dreams are just dreams, and I can't really change that.