#ah fuck i just want a partner to coo over and smooch but also really don’t want to the effort of finding someone that’ll like take all of

[stellewriites]

oooo the yearning is hitting hard tonight fellas i think that means time for a distraction through writing!!

[luckyjak]

fic: i never leave well enough alone [shadowgast]

Caleb and Essik, making out for science. The Mighty Nein are also there to walk in on them and embarrass them. A kissing fic, with some found family fluff thrown in to break the tension that could otherwise be carved up with a knife.

[AO3 Link]

a/n:  I haven't even seen the episode yet (I'll see the VOD Monday) but I know a good ship when I see one.

They are studying, and they are talking, and Caleb has been distracted by the gold of Essik’s eyes for a while now.

Normally, dunamancy is a fascinating subject for Caleb, but he finds his attention wandering this afternoon in ways it hasn’t in over a decade. Not since he was a boy, noticing his classmate Astrid and the way her robes filled out in different ways than his.

Today, he’s distracted by a lot of things--the overbearing warmth in the room, to combat the stark cold of the Xhorasian winter outside. The way Essik must be warm, too--there is a gentle bead of sweat falling down the back of his neck, into his high collar. Caleb imagines following that bead of sweat for a moment. Essik has a lovely neck, long and slender, and Caleb can imagine himself kissing it, pressing hot lovebites into the drow’s dark skin. What do drow even look like, bruised?  Would anyone even notice if Caleb left a trail of hickeys on his dark purple skin, or would it just be their little secret?

It’s not just his neck, either. It’s his mouth, too: his lips are full, and they look soft to the touch, and they move subtly, spellwork precise in the way it comes out (“ pro” “hibere” “tempus”), the verbal components soothing to Caleb’s ears. Somatic, too, in the way Essik moves his hands, tracing arcane patterns into the air. He has beautiful hands. Caleb thinks about his hands, and wonders where else his long and slender fingers may fit on Caleb’s body.

And his eyes, too--gold, like the center of a hot fire, and Caleb has always been attracted to a flame. They are small but vivid, in color and in shape, and they are staring at him now, intently.

“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” The drow accuses, but his tone is gentle, teasing, coaxing Caleb out of his fantasy and back to reality.

Caleb rolls his eyes, and with the practiced ease of a student who has never once had to study, casts the spell he was only half paying attention to flawlessly.

His reward is a smile and a pointed look of pride on Essik’s face. “You are brilliant, you know? You’ve progressed further in mere weeks than what many have done in lifetimes. You are simply amazing .”

Essik runs his hand down Caleb’s shoulder and squeezes, and it’s too much for Caleb; the heat and the intensity of Essik’s gaze, the skin contact, the way their knees brush against one another underneath the table. He leans in swiftly and kisses Essik fully on the mouth before he can think better of it.

It’s a risk, but a calculated one, and he’s always been a fan of the potential rewards.

Essik’s lips are soft, softer than Caleb expected, and while the Shadowhand doesn’t pull away he doesn’t kiss back, either, and so Caleb moves away sooner than he wants. His gut wants to keep kissing, to grab and to hold the other man and kiss him until they are both breathless, but he stops himself.

Not yet. Not without permission.

“ Oh ,” Essik says, quiet at first, barely audible. “That was-- unexpected.”

“I apologize,” Caleb says, sitting back down in his seat, though his eyes still stare at Essik’s lips.

“No, don’t. It was not unpleasant,” Essik’s hand traces his own lips carefully, cautiously, curiously. “Merely unexpected. I have never, ah, kissed , like that,” He says the word kissed with uncertainty, like he has to think carefully about what the word means in common.

Caleb raises an eyebrow. “Ever?”

“Not with one like you, no,”

“Human?” Caleb offers, scooting his chair closer to Essik’s, so that one of his knees is in between his partner’s. The dark elf doesn’t respond. “Male?” he ventures another guess.

“One of those is correct. I’ll let you guess which one,” the Shadowhand whispers, playfully, a coy smile on his face. He moves his hand to Caleb’s face, caressing the soft patch of hair that’s begun to grow there in the weeks since he’s shaved last. “I would--I would like to try again, if you aren’t opposed.”

Caleb doesn’t respond; instead, he kisses him again, and is thrilled when the elven man kisses back.

This time, Essik is more present in the kiss, less shocked and more daring. He keeps one hand on Caleb’s face, caressing his cheek while the other wraps around the broad expanse of Caleb’s back across his shoulders. Caleb’s hands, for his part, find themselves drawn to Essik’s waist, his fingers catching in the loops of his belt.

They part only long enough to catch their breath before Essik stands, kicking his chair over in the process, and drapes himself instead into Caleb’s lap.

It’s too much; Essik kisses like a storm, like lightning in a bottle, precise, stunning, fast, and all of Caleb’s senses are on fire from the sensation. His vision is dark and blurred, only catching glimpses of white hair against dark skin as Essik nibbles his way down his chin.

--

Yasha doesn’t remember what she came into the library for, but it certainly wasn’t to catch Caleb in this compromising position.

...It is Caleb under there, although it takes Yasha starring longer than she intends to to discover that. It’s not her fault: Caleb is somewhat buried, his lap full of an attractive drow man straddling him in the chair.

There’s a chair knocked to the floor, and neither man is wearing their jacket. Caleb’s shirt--from what Yasha can tell, where she’s standing--is half unbuttoned, and his hair is a mess, stark red tangled from dark fingers.

They are just kissing, she reckons, but Essik is kissing Caleb like he wants to eat him, tongue first, and Caleb’s hands are firmly attached to Essik’s backside.

“...I’ll come back later,” Yasha tells the room in a whisper, her voice unheard, as she closes the door quietly behind her.

--

“Did you know Caleb’s kissing the Shadowhand now?” Yasha announces casually to where most of the Mighty Nein are gathered in the kitchen. "They're making out in the library."

“WHAT?” Jester squeals with delight, clawed hands covering her mouth in joy.

“WHAT?” Beau hollers, outraged, fist slammed on the table.

Fjord doesn’t react beyond trying not to choke to death on his salad, his face a new and unusual shade of green.

“Good for them,” Caduceus nods sagely, stirring his teapot without much concern. “Tea?”

“Yes please,” she nods to Caduceus, taking a seat between him and Jester. “I just walked in on them in the library. They seem quite attached to each other.”

Jester’s squealing gets louder (“oh my gosh oh my gosh ohmygoshhhh!!!”) and Beau seems even more outraged.

“The fucking library?” Beau howls, loud enough for the whole house to hear. It’s a good thing Nott and Yeza are out shopping, and that the rest of them were in the kitchen, minus the two in the library. “ I use that fucking library. That’s public property. I swear to god if they get sweaty boy shit all over those fucking books I’ll murder them both, those fuckers-- ”

And then Jester is up out of her seat and down the hall, and Beau is following fast behind her, and Fjord seems like he wants to crawl into his shirt and hide like a turtle as he pushes his bowl of food aside.

“Was I not supposed to say anything?” Yasha asks, more to herself than to anyone in the room, but Caduceus answers her with a cup of tea nonetheless.

“Nah, it’ll be fine. This is what families do, in my experience. At least that’s how I reacted every time one of my sisters brought a partner over.” He picks up his own cup and sips it. “Never really saw the appeal, myself, but different strokes for different folks.”

“Ah,” Yasha nods at his wisdom. Behind her, a door slams and there is a lot of yelling and screeching and a crash of what sounds like two bodies roughly hitting the floor. “Should I stop them?”

“In a minute,” Caduceus says with the sophisticated ease of someone who used to living in chaos. “Let them have their fun, first. Then we’ll go save poor Mr. Caleb from dying of embarrassment.”

“Or setting off a fireball in the house.”

“That too.”

--

Unlike Yasha’s quiet opening of the door, Jester slams the door to the library open with enough strength that they might should be concerned about the hinges.

“Caaayyyyleeeb,” she coos , her voice getting high pitched towards the end. Her voice and the door startle Caleb and Essik enough that they lose their balance in the chair, and Caleb lands flat on his back on the hard stone floor, with Essik on top of him.

“Oh my gosh, Yasha was right! You two were kissing,” she makes an exaggerated smooching sound, and Caleb can feel Essik stiffen on top of him, uneasy with the situation. For all that Caleb is certain that Essik likes him (as a friend, if not more, now), he always thinks that the elf has no idea what to do with the rest of Caleb’s friends, uncertain what to make of them. “How cuuuteee.”

Beau comes slamming in after Jester, and gods, they are going to have to replace that door. “Do not fuck in public spaces,” Beau yells, and, oh, it seems drow can blush, based on what little of Essik’s face Caleb can see buried on his shoulder. “New house rule, effective immediately, should have been mentioned earlier but we didn’t think about it. No fucking in any place where I routinely eat, sleep, read, practice, or bathe, or I’ll cut your fucking dick off and nail it to the wall.”

Caleb can feel his own face flush at that. “Get. Out.”

Jester scrunches her face at Beau. “But if they can’t fuck any place we sleep, then where are they supposed to have sex? Outside?”

“Get out.”

Beau shakes her head. “No sex outside either. I don’t want anyone to ruin the garden with that. They can fuck in Caleb’s roo-----oom, shit!”

He flings a firebolt at Beau’s head and misses, his aim made unsteady by the body on top of his.

That causes more squawking, this time about “fire safety!” and “don’t burn this house down too Caleb!”, and he feels Essik start to laugh quietly against him.

Luckily, his heroes arrive before he dies of embarrassment.  “Okay,” he can hear Caduceus's calming voice come from that side of the room. “You’ve had your fun. It’s time to stop embarrassing Caleb now.”

He hears Beau shriek in protest, and then Caduceus must pick her up somehow, because she starts screaming about being carried off until Caleb can’t hear her voice anymore. He still hears Jester’s giggling though, and heavy footfalls until she, too, starts complaining about how Yasha is ruining all of her fun.

He hears the door shut tightly, and thanks whatever gods are out there that they are alone now.

He feels Essik roll over on top of him, and groans a little, his back bruised from their fall. “We broke your chair,” Essik says, sitting up off of Caleb properly and onto the stone floor. He looks--undignified, and young, but still terribly handsome, as Caleb takes a moment to stare. His stark white hair is in disarray, and his tunic is off-center, and his gold jewelry tangled. It’s the most like a mess Caleb has ever seen him, and he must confess, it’s a good look on him. It makes Caleb wonder, briefly, about other times when Essik might become disheveled, and how Caleb might help him get there.

Sure enough, there is a broken splintered wooden chair nearby. He offers Caleb a hand to help sit up, and Caleb finds he’s reluctant to let go now that he’s sitting up straight. He leans his back up against the leg of the table, and offers Essik what he hopes is a charming grin.

“We can fix it. Jester knows mending,” he breathes in deep, and takes a moment to recollect himself briefly. “That was fun though, yeah?”

He get a soft smirk in return. “I can think of less enjoyable ways to spend an afternoon.” Then Essik bites his lip, his eyes glancing up and down Caleb’s form. “I can think of more enjoyable ways, too, though.”

Caleb feels his face flush, and he wants to ask like what, coy and flirtatious, and he wants to lean over and kiss him again, on the floor under the table, for hours at a time. He wants to peel off Essik’s tunic and see what he looks like underneath his many layers of clothes, to see if his skin is that dark purple color throughout.

He probably shouldn’t, though. Not today. Caduceus and Yasha can only distract the others for so long, and besides, Nott will be back soon, and that’s a whole different interrogation to get through.

So instead he grins, charming and boyish, and says, “Like, four hours of uninterrupted time in a library with a good book?”

That gets him a hearty chuckle, and gosh, the Shadowhand is pretty when he laughs. Caleb’s face should not be this flushed; he is not some inexperienced teenage schoolboy, and yet the rapid beat of his heart seems terribly, achingly familiar.

“Among other things,” Essik smiles, and kisses him, softer this time, just a gentle press of lips against his. Where as last time was all passion and fire and shocked skin, this one is gentle, like a feather tickling the skin, and it ends quickly. “I should probably go, though.”

Realistically, Caleb knows he has to leave; that Essik has a job and a life outside of kissing and tutoring Caleb in magic, but right now the idea seems unfair, cruel and senseless, just another way of punishing Caleb for his past crimes. “Tomorrow, then?”

Essik bites his lip, and kisses him again. “I think I could find the time,” he promises, and there’s another kiss, deeper, and Caleb can taste his tongue. “We could maybe actually study, this time.”

Caleb wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him closer with another kiss. “Or we could explore those,” he’s interrupted with a kiss, “those other things you were talking about,” there’s another kiss, another clashing of tongues and teeth, until they find they need to breathe again. “I have ideas.”

“A locked door might be nice,”

Caleb kisses into Essik’s grin. “I think I know where to find one.”

If they don’t stop kissing now, they may never stop, and while Caleb can think of worse things, he also doesn’t want to get Essik in trouble. He pushes him away slowly, savoring what he plans to be the last kiss of the night. “You should probably go though,”

“Right,” Essik breathes heavily, still staring at Caleb’s lips. “I have a meeting. With the Bright Queen.”

Caleb reaches over, and straightens out Essik’s tunic, and rehooks the gold chain that had come undone around Essik’s ear. “Sounds important.”

“It--it could be more important,” Essik stutters as Caleb stands, offering him a hand up as well. “It could definitely be more important.”

“You don’t want to be late, though,” Caleb picks Essik’s cloak up off of the table, wrapping it around the gentleman’s shoulders. “I doubt the Bright Queen tolerates much tardiness.”

“You’re right,” Essik confesses, and looks down at his shoes. “I don’t want you to be right, but you’re right.” They haven’t stopped touching each other, Caleb’s hands on Essik’s shoulders, and Essik’s hands on Caleb’s waist. “I just want to keep kissing you.”

With a stronger willpower than most, Caleb leans into the embrace, and kisses Essik carefully on the cheek. “Tomorrow, then.” He lets go then, and squeezes Essik’s hand tightly instead. “I’ll walk you out.”

They leave the library hand in hand, and dream of better tomorrows.

--

Notes:

unpictured: Caleb's walk of shame back inside to be interrogated by the Mighty Nein.

also unpictured: Essik doodling cartoon hearts with Caleb's name in them during his meeting with the Bright Queen