#feel free to explain why it’s the other way

[eicsferrari]

annoyance - cs55 smau pt2

summary: you don't like carlos but now he's a williams driver and you have to see a lot more of him

a/n: in case you don't know the finalissima is a football match between the winners of the copa america and uefa european championship. the finalissima 2025 will be between argentina and spain. but now apparently it might be played in 2026 ?? which i didn't know when i started this so let's just pretend for the plot thank u

pt 1 / pt2 / pt3 (soon)

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2025

Instagram

williamsracing & carlossainz55: 2025, the fight starts now👊🏼

view all comments

carlossainz55: Let's go team!! 💪🌶️

user5: vamos carlitosss

user3: ready to wear blue💙

user9: we will miss franco ♡liked by yourusername

user4: yn took the picture but didn't like the post we stan a petty queen🔥

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♡liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, alex_albon & others

williamsracing: 2025 team

📷: yourusername

view all comments

user1: user4 she liked this one

user4: only bc of alex

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♡liked by francocolapinto, landonorris, carlossainz55 & others

yourusername: new year, i have a good feeling about this one

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user7: she's my favorite non-wag🤍

yourfriend1: 3rd picture, is there wine on the bag?

yourusername: you know me too well🍷

landonorris: i'm still waiting for those photography tips you promised me🤨

yourusername: once the season starts and only if you buy me food

user2: are they flirting???

yourusername: i finally convince you guys i'm not dating franco and you are already trying to get me involved with someone else pls free me😭😭

user8: carlos in the likes👀👀

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williamsracing: help us decide

view all comments

alex_albon: carlex for the win

yourusername: i like bonsai

carlossainz55: i prefer carbon

yourusername: ok? make your own comment

yourusername: also why would you prefer carbon?

carlossainz55: idk i just do and we can call our fans carbonara

williamsracing: we agree carlossainz55 carbon it is💙

yourusername: williamsracing betrayal 💔

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Text

y/n: in a scale from 1 to 10, how bad would it be if i quit??

y/n: i can live off franco

your friend: why would you quit don't be ridiculous

your friend: also franco might have less money than you do, it's not a great plan

y/n: i'm convinced carlos thinks i only got this job because of franco and not because of my talent

your friend: did he say that?

y/n: well no

your friend: then?

your friend: cause i honestly still don't understand why you dislike him so much

y/n: okay so when i was at franco's first race i got lost and asked him for directions

y/n: but when i said i was going to williams he asked if i was with franco

y/n: implying i was with franco you know, which already annoyed me

y/n: and then he walked me for a bit, asked me what i do and when i said photographer he said "that's great!"

y/n: but in a sarcastic way?? like it is just a dumb little hobby and he was mocking me

your friend: how do you know?

y/n: body language idkkkk

y/: and then someone called him and he just left me there !!! still lost might i add

your friend: so let me see if i understand correctly

your friend: you met this man at his work place. he helped you while he could, tried to make small talk, then got called for work and now you hate him bc of "body language idkkk"?

y/n: when you put it like that i sound insane

your friend: it is insane babe🤍

y/n: i can't explain it he just sounded condescending

your friend: were you maybe (and just maybe) projecting some of your own fears onto the conversation?

your friends: and all of the things you assume he thinks are the things you are afraid people might think or haters are saying online?

y/n: ...maybe

your friend: do you have any real reason to believe he thinks all those disgusting things??

y/n: ...

y/n: not really

your friend: and don't you think that maybe, since you are working together, the best thing might be to give him another chance? unless proven otherwise?

y/n: ugh i it when you get rational and make sense

your friend: someone has to‼️

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Text

lando: hi yn! just confirming our plans for tonight

lando: also carlos will join us, do u mind?

y/n: hi lando!! tonight it is

y/n: and no, i don't mind

lando: great cause i wasn't sure

lando: see you in a bit

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Instagram

landonorris posted a story

caption: i bought her food AND drinks

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

replies

↪ user5: omg carlos and yn, war is over????

↪user7: carlandooo

↪francocolapinto: she didn't murder him????

landonorris: worst, i'm almost sure i was third wheeling

francocolapinto: the plot thickens👀

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landonorris: photography lessons

view all comments

user3: photographer lando>>

user6: yn is so prettyyy ♡liked by carlossainz55

user8: carlos i see you 👀👀👀

user7: call me crazy but yn and carlos would make a great couple

user9: that's insane get help 🤍

yourusername: these look good, clearly you had the best teacher💪

landonorris: debatable

carlossainz55: ignoralo, sigue enojado que hablaramos español para que no nos entendiera [ignore him, he's still angry we talked in spanish so he wouldn't understand]

landonorris: jokes on you i can translate here👊🏼

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Text

franco: so, how did it go?

y/n: surprisingly really good

y/n: and it was fun to speak spanish in front of lando he was PISSED

franco: and with carlos? he's still alive which i'm surprised

y/n: i have to admit i might have been a little quick to judge him...

franco: i told you, he's a cool guy

y/n: yes i guess

franco: you guess?

franco: cause a little bird told me you two hit it off

y/n: forget carlos, i'm going to kill lando

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yourusername has started following carlossainz55

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♡liked by carlossainz55, francocolapinto, landonorris & others

yourusername: call me maybe

- yourfriend1

francocolapinto: para quién estás beboteando? [who are you trying to look good for?]

yourusername: you are too annoying for someone currently unemployed

francocolapinto: ouch😔

user3: franco what do you know??

landonorris: you look so pretty tonight yn

yourusername: flattery will get you nowhere mister

landonorris: please don't kill me i'm sorry😭

user4: what is going on let us innnnn

user5: she started following carlos and then posted this welcome back demi lovato following henry cavill

user7: she's crying for attention 🙄🙄 desperate behavior →carlossainz55 has blocked this user

user7: carlos blocked me????

user5: deserved

yourfriend1: i love you, you are so hot

yourusername: let's run away together

yourfriend1: deal 🤝🏼

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Text

carlos: hola, is this y/n?

carlos: i'm carlos

carlos: you gave me your number the other day

y/n: hola!

y/n: yes it's me

y/n: i'm glad you texted me

y/n: i didn't want to do this with lando there but i wanted to apologize for my behavior towards you

y/n: i might have misjudge some things on our first interaction

y/n: but still that doesn't justify my behavior so i'm sorry

carlos: i had a feeling you weren't a big fan of me but i wasn't sure what i had done lol

carlos: but don't worry about it, all is forgiven

carlos: i just wanted to say i had a great time hanging out

y/n: me too!!

carlos: now i'm curious, what annoyed you that day?

y/n: it's going to sound dumb...

y/n: but when you asked me about franco and me i thought you were undermining my job

carlos: i would never

carlos: i think you are incredibly talented and hard working, you earned this place

carlos: and since we are confessing things

carlos: i was asking about you and franco with the intention of finding out if you were single

y/n: oh

carlos: so, are you watching la finalissima tonight?

y/n: yess franco is coming over to watch it together, you?

carlos: i'm going to watch it with some friends

carlos: i have an idea, wanna make a bet?

y/n: mmm it depends

carlos: if spain wins you have to go on a date with me

y/n: you sound really confident

y/n: and if argentina wins?

carlos: i have to dress like a chili?

y/n: oh you are on

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yourusername: listos para lo que venga🇦🇷🤍 [ready for whatever happens]

view all comments

user10: confíen, tengo a los jugadores españoles en el freezer🕯️🕯️

user5: will this break my yn x carlos family?

francocolapinto: don't tell me, we finally got them to be civil😭

anyataylorjoy: vamos argentina🇦🇷🇦🇷 ♡liked by author

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carlossainz55 posted a new story

caption: i really need spain to win😉

replies

↪yourusername: mm i wonder why

carlossainz55: 🙈🙈

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Text

y/n: hey

carlos: hey everything alright? game is still in halftime

y/n: i know

y/n: but about that date

y/n: tomorrow?

carlos: si❤️

carlos: no puedo esperar [i can't wait]

[makeitmingi]

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 11]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.1K

Chapter warning(s): Mentions of sleeping pills.

As the sun was starting to set, you called it a day. You didn't want to do too much and make a big mess, plus there were things you needed that you didn't have with you. After washing your hands, you caught sight of a maid bringing a broom out to the garden.

"Let me help you!" You ran forward to her. You didn't notice that there were people in the living room.

"No need, miss. I can do it. Don't worry." The maid smiled, shaking her head when you tried to take the broom from her. She walked out with you behind her.

"Ah... but I created the mess, the least I can do is help you clean it up." You insisted.

"(y/n)." Hongjoong called you, distracting you momentarily.

"If you're done, I would like to speak with you." He spoke. You looked at the maid, who was sweeping up the dirt and soil on the stone pavements, the mess you made.

"I'm sorry for creating the mess. Thanks again." You said to the maid with an apologetic smile. She shook her head and bowed as you left.

"Yes, Hongjoong?" You blinked as you re-entered the house. Now, you saw all 7 of Hongjoong's brothers in the living room, spread across the arm chairs and sofas. They were all dressed so well, compared to yourself. You fiddled with your fingers awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable with all their gazes on you.

"I wanted to introduce you to my other brothers. You've briefly met at the funeral but I guess since you're going to be around a lot more, I should introduce you." Hongjoong explained.

"Oh, okay. Nice to meet all of you, I'm (y/n)." You bowed. They were basically your bosses so you had to be respectful.

"I'm Seonghwa."

"Wooyoung."

"San."

"Yeosang."

"Mingi."

"Jongho."

"You already know me, I'm Yunho. If you need anything while you're here, feel free to let us know. " The tallest boy with a charming smile sent you a friendly wave. It was a lot of names that you'll have to get used to. They seemed nice but intimidating at the same time.

"Okay, that's out of the way. Would you like to stay for dinner?" Hongjoong offered.

"Oh, thank you but I shouldn't overstay." You forced a smile, shaking your head. Honestly, you were taken aback by his invitation, you weren't expecting it at all.

"You're not overstaying." Yunho assured.

"But don't feel forced to. I'm sure you must be tired." Seonghwa stood up and headed to you. You nodded slowly.

"Let me get out driver to send you back. It's the least we could do. Get the chauffeur." Seonghwa said, raising his hand to the butler before you could protest. You grabbed your bag and bowed.

"Thank you. Have a nice evening." You said quickly and headed to the door where the butler was.

"Bye, (y/n)." Hongjoong nodded and you gave him a small, yet apologetic smile.

"You guys are cornering the poor girl. There was no way she was going to stay for dinner. She's formally meeting us for the first time and we're all seated here, staring at her. She's probably scared out of her wits." Seonghwa said to Hongjoong and Yunho the moment you left the house, rolling his eyes.

"I was just trying to be nice. Make her feel more comfortable around us." Hongjoong defended with a shrug. Seonghwa shook his head with a sigh and facepalmed.

"I don't think that's happening any time soon. She was so scared when she saw San's beat up appearance." Wooyoung said.

"That's why we need to prove to her or show her that we're... normal..." Hongjoong trailed off.

"Hyung, why are you trying to keep her close?" Yeosang tilted his head.

"I don't even know how to explain it to you guys. But at some point, I need to know about my mother and she has that information. It's the only way I can get some sort of closure." Hongjoong sighed.

"That's true." Seonghwa nodded in confirmation, supporting his best friend's decision.

"Sure but take it slow. She's nice and all but she looks like she'll be scared off easily." Mingi stated and the rest nodded.

"Can we continue this conversation while we have dinner? I'm hungry." Jongho requested. The 8 men stood up from their seats and shuffled into their dining room, the 8 of them naturally sitting in their designated seats.

"Please enjoy your dinner." The butlers and maids bowed once each of the men had their own trays of food. They then filed out of the room, only one staying behind in case any of the 8 needed anything.

"For the ball, I want everyone in black shoes. Whatever style you choose is fine but black, not white." Hongjoong announced.

"But I bought new white chelseas." San said.

"Wear them next time. And only silver or white gold hardware, no gold." The captain added, he was just that particular about the way they looked at events.

"Yes, captain." The 7 nodded obediently. After that, they gave each other little updates on their work.

"The casino should be 95% done next week and we can go for a tour then, before the grand opening." Wooyoung smiled gleefully.

"That's good. And you both have the staff trained and ready for the grand opening?" Seonghwa asked. Wooyoung and San both nodded their heads.

"The manpower has been settled. It's only 95% done because of minor things like the wrong light bulbs for the carpark. And the curtains that were ordered did not meet our expectations so we have a new batch coming in. Don't worry, everything will be perfect by opening day." San assured.

"Yes, I'm having the invites sent out this weekend." Wooyoung added. Opening night was an 'invite-only' event, as per usual.

"Alright, make sure the governor and president have theirs hand delivered." Hongjoong reminded.

"That has already been arranged. We finally decided on our investors and partners too so we'll have their invites hand delivered too." Wooyoung nodded his head.

"Good job, boys." Hongjoong praised.

"How many valets will you have there?" Mingi asked.

"Opening night will be around 5? We are expecting that the guests will be in chauffeur driven cars anyway. On the regular, we're only hiring 3." San replied.

"Sir." The chauffeur stood at the entrance way of the dining room. Hongjoong stopped the conversation and waved for him to enter.

"The miss has been sent home safely. I walked her up myself." The chauffeur informed.

"Good to hear. Thanks. You are to ensure she is picked up every time she comes to the house for work." Hongjoong nodded in approval. The chauffeur bowed to him and left the dining room. Yunho and Seonghwa raised their hands for another potion of meat as the work conversations continued.

"No other worker has ever had the privilege of being picked up by our chauffeur before, hyung." Yunho teased. Hongjoong rolled his eyes, ignoring the taller.

"Shut up and eat." Hongjoong glared.

"Defensive~" Wooyoung sang. Seonghwa sent Wooyoung a look, the younger could always dish it but not take it.

"So, now that San hyung is out of the fight club. Can I go?" Jongho raised his hand. San rolled his eyes, mumbling in disatisfcation being benched from fighting.

"I thought you didn't want to enter the ring anymore?" Mingi asked.

"Yeah but I've been training in new fight techniques I want to try." Jongho shrugged, looking expentantly at the oldest two.

"Sure, Jongho. Whatever you want to do." Hongjoong sighed, he knew he couldn't really stop them either. The boys can do whatever they want to do.

"Maybe I'll join you. Stop competing in the motorcycle races for a bit. Seonghwa hyung always beats me anyway, it's not fun anymore." Yeosang leaned back on his hands. Seonghwa smirked proudly, no one could take his titles away from him.

"You guys are too competitive." Hongjoong shook his head.

"You do know that we get it from you, right hyung?" Yunho raised an eyebrow. Hongjoong scoffed.

"They're right. You're just too busy now to do anything remotely competitive." Seonghwa added on. Hongjoong nodded in agreement but now, he had no desire to get back to competing.

"Told you to go to the race tracks with us~" Mingi sang.

"If I go tonight, will you guys stop bothering me about it?" Hongjoong asked with frustration.

"Yes!" They all replied.

"Oh, hyung. You're going DOWN!" Wooyoung declared.

After the driver walked you up to your house, despite you insisting that he didn't need to, you closed the door and immediately slumped into your couch.

"That was way too weird." You mumbled to yourself as the events of today sunk in. Looking at the time on your phone, you hauled yourself off the couch and went to cook dinner, which comprised of leftovers from the day before. You thought about how awkward it would have been if you stayed for dinner.

"Ah, damn." You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't realise that your food was close to burning.

You turned off the flame and left your food there before going to take a quick shower so your hair could dry while you ate.

'Kim Hongjoong|'

As you ate, your fingers typed on the search bar of your computer. You knew that Hongjoong and his family probably lived extravagantly, judging by their house, but you were curious.

'CEOs of AURORA Corporation makes huge donation to the new hospital wing for paediatic heart surgery.'

'CEO of AURORA Corp, Kim Hongjoong, was seen as one of guests at the grand opening of...'

'Governor seen at christmas charity auction hosted by AURORA Corp.'

There were so many articles, all linked to Hongjoong, his brothers and AURORA Corp. They seemed like a big, rich company with a lot going on.

You never got that vibe from Mrs Kim, that her son or family was this affluent. Maybe she was just good at hiding it. But it made you wonder if you really knew the real her or did she fake an image and that was the person you knew?

It pained you to think that, you thought you knew her well. She was the best mother figure you had, was it all a lie this entire time?

"Ugh, my head hurts." After your dinner, you did the dishes and closed your laptop, you didn't want to look at it anymore. You headed to the bathroom to wash up and go to bed.

"Thank you. Please come again." You bowed to the customer with a smile as you handed the lady her bouquet.

*DING*

"Mrs Kim. What are you doing here so early?" You grinned, going over to help her with her bags. She had a lunch bag in her hands with containers of food in there.

"Early? My dear, your lunch is way overdue." She clicked her tongue at you. You checked the time and realised how late it was.

"Oh no, you're right. Let me close the sign for lunch." You placed her bags on your work table and went to flip the sign.

"Tea?" You offered as you walked back to where she was seating. She nodded and you poured her a cup, placing it down in front of her as she dug through the lunch bag. She laid out all the glass containers across your work table, placing two containers of rice, one in front of you and one in front of herself.

"You're always bringing me lunch. You don't have to." You said sheepishly.

"I know. But I want to. You're already keeping me company for lunch and tea, the least I can do is provide the food." She raised an eyebrow as she sipped her tea.

"I can always keep you company, even if you don't cook. You know that, I enjoy your company too." You smiled softly.

"Ah, just eat and stop complaining, my dear." She chided.

"Eat more. I cooked a lot." She encouraged as you both dug in. The food was a good, a homecooked meal from a mother, something you never experienced before.

"These vegetables are so good." You complimented, taking some to put onto your rice.

"You are the exact opposite of my son. He doesn't like vegetables, hates it so much. Getting him to eat vegetables was like asking him to eat poison." Mrs Kim laughed behind her hands as she ate.

From that flashback dream, you sat up in bed, running your hands through your hair. Never did you think you would meet Mrs Kim's son, the one she always spoke about, without her. You let out a long, exhausted sigh and laid back down to try and go back to sleep.

"Ugh." Hongjoong woke up. He always has a hard time sleeping, his brain just doesn't think he needs any sleep.

"Every single night..." He got out of bed and headed to his office. The first thing he did was pour himself a drink, maybe the alcohol would put him to bed.

"Hyung? Why are you awake?" Wooyoung poked his head in, having seen the lights in Hongjoong's office turned on.

"You just got back?" Hongjoong asked back when he saw how well dressed Wooyoung was.

"Mhmm. Has a meeting after the race." Wooyoung smiled. He entered the captain's office, removing his jacket and draping it over the chair. He pulled his hair into a neat ponytail.

"Here." Hongjoong handed him a glass of his own.

"Thank you." Wooyoung smiled, clinking glasses with the older before they each took a sip.

"You're still having trouble sleeping?" Wooyoung asked again with a tilt of his head, going to the question from before.

"It's a norm for me now. I don't seem to need much sleep... My brain just wakes up." Hongjoong sighed. There was always so much going on in his head, it was hard for him to turn it all off. They didn't lead normal lives whereby they can just switch themselves off when the sun sets, they were always on alert.

"You should try to sleep more. Sleep deprivation isn't good for anyone, even us." Wooyoung said with raised eyebrows. Hongjoong nodded his head, he knew.

"That's why I'm hoping this will put me to sleep." He shook the crystal glass in his hand.

"Want some help?" Wooyoung asked.

"No, I suffered so much from the side effects of those things, I'll never take them again. Why do you even have those? You sleep just fine." Hongjoong asked with a small frown.

"They're not the street kind. They're legit just for sleeping or calming down, Mingi's guy got them for me." Wooyoung informed.

"Why?"

"In case of situations like this. You never know when any one of us would be plagued by nightmares." Wooyoung shrugged. Hongjoong nodded in agreement, everyone had nightmares every now and then.

It was common for them, with the horrors that they see everyday, it was normal to be haunted by some cases. Even if they look and act like they are okay with it, deep down, it still bothers them. Taking lives and spilling blood isn't a walk in the park.

"Let's get out of here. The office is stuffy." Hongjoong said. Wooyoung went to get the crystal carave with the whiskey and skipped behind Hongjoong.

"Shh, you'll wake the others up." Hongjoong shushed the younger.

"They always pass out after a race." Wooyoung waved the captain off with a mischievous grin.

"By the way, I had to rush off and didn't properly congratulate you on your win. You still got it." Wooyoung chuckled, making Hongjoong roll his eyes.

"Of course I do. You make it sound like I'm old or something." He scoffed. Hongjoong was always a good racer.

"You should do it more often then. Secure more wins for us." Wooyoung nudged him.

"I know what you're doing and nice try... I'm way too busy to be racing like you guys. And you make it sound like you guys can't win without me. Because judging by the stack of money on Hwa's dresser, I know that's not the case." Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as he drank his whiskey.

"Hwa hyung wins to motorcycle races." Wooyoung pointed out. Seonghwa doesn't like driving cars, so he has never competed in the driving races.

"I dare you to say that in front of Yunho and Jongho." Hongjoong challenged and Wooyoung gulped at the leader's words.

"Fine! Just get out of your office every now and then." Wooyoung threw his arms up in exasperation.

"I do leave my office. I'm not a hermit." Hongjoong gave Wooyoung a flat look.

"Oooh I know. There's now a motivation for you to come out of your office, especially since there's a pretty little gardener to talk to." Wooyoung sang. Hongjoong hit the back of his head.

"Shut up. I only spoke to her to make sure she felt comfortable working here." Hongjoong excused.

"Sure hyung... Sure~" Wooyoung teased.

"You're drunk." Hongjoong flicked his forehead, making the younger male yelp. Luckily it was dark or Wooyoung would have seen Hongjoong's slightly pink cheeks. He didn't think so many people would have seen him come out to talk to you today.

"She's a weird one, hyung. From what I saw." Wooyoung said, leaning against Hongjoong's shoulder, snuggling against him. Wooyoung was generally affectionate but this was a sign he was drunk.

"Not weird. Just different, she's normal." Hongjoong let out a soft sigh, pouring more whiskey into his glass.

"Are we not normal...?" Wooyoung drowned out.

"Far from, Wooyoung. We're not normal. After all that we've done, we'll never be normal. (y/n)'s normal, she doesn't know our world." Hongjoong said with dismay.

"She's not normal. Or else, how would she know your mum?" Wooyoung stated.

"Maybe my mum was normal to her." Hongjoong shrugged. Wooyoung laughed at that, sounding like he was in disbelief.

After the whiskey was emptied from the cerave, the two headed in for the night. Hongjoong had Wooyoung's arms around him, guiding him to his room and making sure he was tucked into bed. Being slightly intoxicated, Hongjoong fell flat onto his own bed. He groaned at the slight throb in his head.

"Note to self, don't drink with Wooyoung again." He mumbled to himself as he pushed himself up.

"What the..." Hongjoong felt something in his sweatpant pocket. He dug in and saw a pack of pills that were not there before, he knew Wooyoung must have secretly slipped them in.

He was good at doing that, considering how he usually does the pick pocketing or slipping of information to people secretly.

"Rainy day." He let out a long sigh and threw the sleeping pills into his drawer before getting under the covers, hoping the alcohol will help him stay asleep this time.

~

Series masterlist

[skyborneveggie]

@shydroid3000 your addition & @dancing-lex's tags!!!!!

#you're so right that he devalues everyone else except for L#i like that you compared light to descartes' views on vivisection#because to light theres something inherent to the people he kills especially#he doesnt think of them as rational beings#its in their nature maybe

And it's okay to not feel bad about the screams, really, because... well, he's God of the New World, and this is what a god does, and he's still *good* deep down, because it's all for a greater good. After all, humans are to a God kind of like what other animals are to a human, right?

It almost seems like to Light, he and L are the only two people he truly, truly conceives of as thinking beings in a way that really 'counts'... Like, other people walk around in their bodies having thoughts and feelings.

...This is reminding me of a post I have been trying to draft up about a very subtle Calvinist theme in Death Note, and how Light uses his own Shinto-esque version of the doctrine of reprobation vs. election to dehumanize & categorize people into boxes without feeling guilty about it.

The difference is that in Calvinism, humanity is seen as naturally evil so the original dichotomy is "people who exist in their natural evil state & cannot escape it of their own free will" vs "people whom God chooses to save".

Whereas in Shinto, humanity is seen as naturally pure, so the dichotomy for Light becomes "people who Kira must sacrifice for natural good to emerge" vs "people who did not need to be sacrificed."

Both Kira & the Calvinist god dehumanize people by removing their agency. It doesn't matter if you're a good person trying to do the right thing; if you're against them or stand in the way, you're taken out regardless.

I think this explains also why Light, even though he feels awful about killing his first two "bad" victims, feels absolutely no guilt about killing innocent people who get in his way after committing to his goal; even the very first time when you would think he might. At the core it's not about "good" vs. "bad" for him. It's about sacrifice, and he views the sacrifice of both good and bad people as morally equal.

Like you said, he doesn't see people as people. He sees them as agency-less pawns that are less alive than he is. And like you said, the one exception to this is L, who started out as someone who needed to be sacrificed, but in the end exceeds the two dehumanized boxes in Light's mind. He becomes a real person; a living, thinking being that Light needs to incapacitate for personal & emotional reasons, and not just in the name of impersonal sacrifice.

Light is someone who perceives a very strong separation between the body and the mind, and is very disconnected from his own body. And I do wonder if, by nature of them being so similar, this is something he projects onto L as well; & helps him divorce the thought of the death of L's body (ie. his shell) from the death of L's mind (ie. his true self). So Light kills the body, the part of L that isn't really him, to incapacitate his mind, not kill it. He's compartmentalized it in such a way where he doesn't have to think of death as being true death.

It isn't until Light is about to die himself that he is able to mentally bridge the connection between his body & his own conscious existence, and realize what it really means to die.

[inez-winchester-cameron]

his (dark!rafe x fem!reader)

cw: murder, probably some psychological things, reader is scared of rafe, dark!rafe, technically imprisonment, manipulation

notes: i have a second idea/concept that follows this so if anyone would like more feel free to let me know!

rafe has always been a little off in the head, you knew, his friends knew it, his family knew it, hell he knew it. but you never anticipated he would take it this far.

you had a horrible day. you hadn't slept well, you received a horrible grade on a test, had a ton of homework and on top of that your dad screamed at you over leaving your laundry in the dryer a little too long. you were sobbing and in need of comfort and just like always — rafe was there. it was one of the reasons you were able to put up with the horrible way he treats others.

you sit wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, your favorite show playing on the tv. rafe got you all cozied up in his shirt and one of his gigantic fuzzy blankets before leaving and promising to bring back your favorite meal.

he returns home an hour and a half after he originally left, happy to see you're focused on the show. the sound of his boots hitting the tile is enough for you to turn and your face immediately falls, horrified.

standing near the door, wiping his boots off, is rafe. his soft brown hair is soaked, you weren't sure if it was with sweat or rain. his jacket is opened, revealing a shirt covered in blood stains and blood is splattered all over his face and neck.

"hey dolly," he greets you casually, slipping his boots off and coming in. he leans over the back of the couch and gently kisses your forehead, a stark contrast to his appearance, "how's my girl? i brought your food and i got myself something too so you wouldn't feel out of place or anything." he sets the food on the table and then moves away to slip his jacket off, "you okay? you're quiet."

"what the— rafe, what the hell. you're covered in blood."

"right. sorry." he chuckles casually, "i'll go get cleaned up and join you in fifteen, alright?"

"no," you blurt out, not entirely finishing your thought and not entirely sure what you're going to say, "can you-" you pause and take a deep breath, "can you please explain to me why you are covered in blood?"

it's not as if similar situations haven't happened before. rafe was always spontaneous and getting into trouble but it was so odd for him to come home this late at night, covered in blood. additionally, he was completely nonchalant about it.

he pauses and thinks for a moment, trying to contain his anger, "i just took care of some business tonight."

"what business?"

"nothing you should concern yourself with, doll. i'll go clean up and join you in a bit and-"

"rafe!" you raise your voice, and he turns to you pissed and exasperated.

"what?"

"you need to explain and talk to me. you're worrying me and-"

he cuts you off, "i had a talk with your father, okay? nothing you should concern your pretty little head with."

"rafe what are you talking about..?" you ask, rather quietly, "where did the blood come from?"

a short chuckle leaves his lips and he looks at you in slight disbelief, "come on, doll. you're a smart girl. what do you think happened?"

you freeze and simply stare at him, "rafe..no.." fear fills your face and you slowly stand, making your way to the exit, "i think i need to go...i need to go uh check on my dad."

"doll, what are you doing? come back, don't overreact."

"no i think i really need to go i'll just, uh, i'll go." you say, turning to exit. rafe makes a few quick strides and grabs your wrist before you can open the door. a small gasp leaves your lips.

"don't be dramatic, sweetheart. come sit down, we'll talk this out." he mutters, reaching up to tuck a hair behind your ear. you flinch, and anger filled his face, "don't flinch from me. you know i ain't gonna hurt you. come on, let's go sit." he moves back and gently tugs on your wrist, trying to get you to the couch.

tears fill your eyes, filled with fear, "no i should go. i don't wanna be here, rafe. i wanna go home." you don't budge as he attempts to tug you towards the couch.

"sweetheart, you're starting to piss me off. go sit. now."

"no-" you start but rafe interrupts you by harshly grabbing your upper arms, staring down at you.

"go. sit. now."

tears start to fall down your face and you shake a bit as you sit down on the couch. rafe sits beside you and wraps an arm around your waist, resting that hand on your upper thigh. he places a gentle kiss beside your ear and mutters, "just relax, doll. i'd never hurt you, y'know that right?"

all you could focus on was the hand resting on your thigh. the hands that you used to adore and love to be touched by were covered in blood. blood that you speculated belonged to your own father.

the hand on your thigh gives a tight squeeze and he speaks again, "asked you a question, doll."

"yes sir." your small voice comes out.

"good, because you belong to me whether you like it or not. you're mine, always." he responds, a small smirk on his lips.

that's when it hit you. you could try to run and leave, you could try to get the law involved, you could beg rafe to let you go but it was all no use. he had claimed you as his and no matter what, he was keeping you. whether you were willing or not.

[eniokai]

I tried to explain to myself some of Marius's actions towards Armand, and I ended up with a lengthy post in which I want to express my perspective on the dynamics of Marius's relationships with Lestat and Armand. I want to emphasize that this is not how I personally view these characters, but rather how I see Marius's perspective on them.

It will be no secret that in Lestat's and Armand's lives, Marius occupies the role of a mentor, teacher, wise advisor, and serves as a father figure for both of them.

If we consider their relationships as familial, in this hierarchy, not by age but by position, Lestat would be the older child, upon whom Marius places his main expectations, ambitions, and hopes. Lestat is a reflection of Marius himself, the heir to his values and ideas. They are soulmates, sharing views on life and understanding each other well. This forms the foundation of their love and mutual respect. Respect is particularly important here because, despite the fact that Lestat creates just as many problems and chaos as Armand (honestly, even more) Marius sees him as an independent individual. He considers him an equal.

In contrast to Lestat, Armand is complicated and incomprehensible to Marius. He occupies the position of the stereotypical younger child, someone Marius expects nothing from and places no hopes on. He loves Armand simply for existing, even if that existence is not right beside him. However, Armand pays for the lack of burdensome expectations with the fact that he is not treated as an adult independent person. Marius does not believe that Armand is mature enough to live without the interventions of a true adult (Marius) in his life.

Does Marius consider Armand his equal? My honest answer to that is no. You have every right to disagree with this. Marius is convinced that he not only has the full right to make important decisions regarding Armand's life and to scold him like a child, but he believes that Armand needs this.

So how do Armand and Lestat differ in their positions? In absolutely every way. Lestat was initially a free person, he already had a formed personality and he already had a true maker. He found Marius on his own initiative and chose Marius as his authority.

Armand in turn belonged to Marius in the most direct and barbaric sense. Even if Marius did not consider him literal property, that was the factual status of Armand in palazzo. The difference in position and status is obvious.

Furthermore, what is most important is that Armand hardly remembered his life before the brothel. Armand was a blank slate. His new identity was built on mentorship and guidance from his master. Marius replaced parents, teachers, and other possible authority figures. This is more significant than Marius's involvement in the life of any other boy from the palazzo because they had a past, possibly families, and they knew their identities. In Amadeo's life, Marius is the foundation of his new personality.

And perhaps most obviously, but no less significantly, Armand is Marius's fledgling, his dark child.

I’ve seen a lot of angry discussions about why Marius believes he has the right to make decisions for Armand. I agree with this perspective, I think he genuinely believes he has rights over Armand due to all the aforementioned circumstances (not because of the fact that he bought him, but because of the immense influence he has had on his personality and his status as Armand's maker). I see an analogy here with parents who struggle to accept their children’s adulthood, they want to do what’s best, but it often backfires.

But at the same time, Marius is willing to take responsibility (finally 🤐). He takes Daniel under his wing not because he feels pity for some half-mad newly turned vampire, but because it’s a failure his own fledgling. Rights and responsibilities cannot exist without each other. Perhaps in this way, he is trying to atone for his actions (or lack thereof) towards Armand, maybe to redeem himself as master and maker. But I doubt Marius will ever be able to admit this, even to himself.

Armand finds it difficult to break the established opinion about him. Throughout the series of books, there has been a constant tension between them, which sometimes escalated into open conflict.

Armand would lose his temper when referred to as a child, he fought for the right to be considered an adult, as he had indeed gone through his own journey and made significant progress. Unfortunately for him, Marius is not a psychology guru. The differences in their views, life rules, and temperaments are perceived by Marius as misconceptions and immaturity, while Armand's adherence to religious beliefs is seen as a sign of suggestibility and an inability to make his own decisions. To be honest, I think there is some rational basis in this. The occasional emotional outbursts and impulsive actions, but most of all Armand's walked out into the sun, only reinforce Marius's opinion that Armand cannot handle his life on his own.

Let's wish Armand success in being perceived as an adult! 🌠

Origin: Cryptid Club

[nianeyemystic]

Traveling & Love (Pluto astrocartography observations)✈️👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏾

Traveling is in my opinion one of the best ways to meet new lovers, friends or find connections you otherwise may not come across. Here are a few of the experiences I have had when traveling and how love played a role.

Pluto on the Descendant (DS): The Power of Transformational Relationships

I traveled to San Juan, PR for my 28th birthday, the early start of my Saturn year. It came a week or so after leaving my highschool sweetheart. and was probably one of the best vacations I have ever taken for reasons I will share in this post. So this time as very transformational for me, my whole life was changing and I was feeling a sense of freedom and rebirth while in PR. I kept joking with my homegirls about how I was going to meet my Puerto Rican papi while I was there so keep that in my mind. First let me explain how this Pluto DS line played a part in the events that happened.

The Descendant in astrocartography represents partnerships, relationships, and how you connect with others on a one-to-one level. When Pluto is prominent on this line, the relationships you form in this area are intense, transformative, and potentially life-changing.

Transformational Love 💖

So while in PR I end up meeting somebody whose love has been what you guys see me describing in most of the posts. We met on the water where I was completely caught off guard in the best way. Being with him feels like a transformational love in so many ways. Meeting my love near my Pluto/DS line feels like a deep, magnetic connection that is fated or karmic. He has definitely have awakened a side of me that I hadn't accessed before. This is important bc again, I met him right after freeing myself from a toxic cycle of love I was so afraid to leave. And there he was. The connection with him challenges me to confront deeper truths about myself, my desires, and my capacity for vulnerability and intimacy.

Healing and Rebirth✨

Pluto governs transformation, endings, and new beginnings. Traveling to San Juan after ending a 15-year partnership symbolized a personal rebirth for me. This place was a catalyst for me to shed old patterns and step into a new chapter of my life.The love I found there to me is a reflection of this rebirth—a relationship that feels profound and meaningful, and one that has helped me to heal & redefine what partnership means to me.

Intensity and Depth 🧡

Relationships under the Pluto/DS influence are rarely surface-level. The way I feel like I have known him before.Like everything I manifested in a partner came directly to me in the person I needed at the right time. I was so serious when I said I was looking for my husband, and the more I spoke that the more real this became for me.its a connection that feels intense, all-consuming, or like it’s touching parts of my soul I didn’t know were there.The emotional depth and passion he brings feels like the opposite of what I experienced in my previous partnership, creating a stark contrast. a breath of fresh new air is what I look at it as.

Emotional Rebirth: San Juan, near my Pluto line, served as a backdrop for a symbolic death (the end of my past relationship) and a rebirth (my new connection). It’s as though this place holds the energy I needed to step into a new version of myself..

It gets better. I learned that he lives in Houston, Texas. another city I've traveled to where I have had some of the best times of my life. I saw Beyonce there and met some of the most genuine people. The way I felt like again,I belong here was so real. I could see myself living there and being a more vibrant person each time I went. So when he said he was fom Houston I immediately am like. hmm.

So I check to see what line Is have going through Houston.... yall. why is it my Venus & Mars IC line go directly through it. I have them conjunct natally. So let me break that down in a separate post. But just knowww, I think I was meant to meet this man. By the way for context he's a Capricorn sun, and Im a virgo sun.

Where is your Pluto line in your astrocartography chart? Have you ever traveled anywhere you felt called to go and something out of the world happened to you?

-@nianeyemystic

[ablogofloveandtrash]

Why was Diana so Reluctant to Open Up and Tell the Truth?

Returning from a previous post I had sent on this blog, I had theorized that Diana may have potentially gone through some experience in the past that has prevented her from being able to properly open up. I was rewatching the trial from chapter 1 and from what I could find on rewatch, is that Diana seemed to be particularly concerned about how others around her would react. And from three different lines of dialogue that I could find, is that Diana seems to be afraid of not being heard out or invalidated. Considering her bio states that she was in the popular crowds before the events of the game, it seems like Diana's fear came from the draw backs of being in the popular crowd. And in being part of the crowd, she would become much of the subject of conversation. She got so much attention on her, which may have caused her to become alienated or isolated in an emotional manner. In the screenshots I have provided, Diana has mentioned things like how others could twist her words around. Suggesting that she may have attempted to dispel or disprove untrue rumours about her. Which resulted in the aftermath not going her way and ultimately nothing was solved. The first screenshot details this aspect of her.

And because Diana must have failed to stop these rumours, this may explain why she often blames herself for not doing the 'right' thing or perceives herself as powerless. Because, Diana was caught up in an unfair situation. The rumours may have gotten so out of hand that Diana may have been cornered and forced herself to remain quiet. Complicit that these misconstrued words were true. She has likely accepted that at the time she couldn't change what others thought about her, and as much as Diana didn't like these rumours, she must have chosen to stop saying anything.

And this may have resulted in potential self isolation or some emotional blockage. As a means to avoid getting hurt by the people she cared about. For her own reasons, Diana seems to feel like telling the truth things would 'just get worse' in the following screen shot, the next sentence may allude to the case. But it does seem to be telling of what she feels about her self worth. She doesn't seem like her input is anything good. And that she would be better off staying quiet. Because she may have blamed herself for the rumours that occurred or worsened, because of her attempts to intervene.

It is possible that Diana could tell Damon about this particular issue in the story in Daily Life or from the Free Time Events, since Damon still needed to persuade Diana to explain her case. With some empathy, Damon may have used the right words to help Diana feel at ease to tell the truth. Assuring that he would listen and hear her out. Which may have not been something, Diana herself couldn't have had before the free time events or the trial. It's a stark contrast compared to the second free time event. Where he made his accusation of her being suspicious and making Diana uncomfortable with opening up. Though between the free time events and in the story, no one really truly knows why Diana is so afraid to open up, and be fully honest with others around her. In relation to a character like Damon, he is someone who is used to biting his tongue when others don't trust him or have something that would antagonize him. He doesn't open up to anyone because he percieves his vulnerabilities as an exploit. Yet in a similar vein, Diana too, cannot be vulnerable around others, out of fear that she would not be listened to. Potentially invalidated, unwanted or even abandoned. Possibly out of these fears she can't bring it in herself to lose her 'friends' again, and validates her helplessness by the end of the trial. The way Diana and Damon seem to handle their experiences past and present couldn't be anymore different from one another, yet they share an underlying similarity that sets up an interesting character dynamic. Damon acts more empathetic in response to her emotional distress. And in response to Damon's empathy, Diana was able to properly open up and have her voice heard in the court room. From this interaction it maybe possible that while tension between Diana and Damon will persist, ie: "I will follow in Wolfgang's Footsteps" (this maybe the source of Damon's anger in the end, not Diana's speech, exactly as many cut him out to be), it may fall on them growing closer that may allow them to become the better versions of each other. By helping each other out and setting their differences aside, for a greater common goal.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Ok just had to share because I've been seeing these people all around and yet it had never happened directly to me.

So, great review of Nosferatu, and I get into A Situation with a person claiming that Orlok is a psychic pdfile rapist of child-Ellen and what's more, the covenant he tricked her into making with him symbolizes a marriage contract,thus Ellen is the analogue of a child bride and a denunciation of the buying and selling of women as brides through history and during that period in particular - also class analysis of how he's a parasite that sucks people dry, yadda yadda, we all know the class analysis. Now that's certainly....a take, and tbh I can see some elements of it sleekly fitting in with the way Eggers structures his themes, but to treat it so absolutely as THE explanation of such an intricate narrative....yeah. I had some issues with that.

And the whole affair ends with that person telling me verbatim, I kid you not, "you should examine why it is that you have a romantic reading on such an one-sided relationship between an undead rapist killer and his teenage victim".

And I'm like....what is this supposed to be? An own? Is it supposed to make me stop dead on my tracks and go "oh yeesh. Why am I romanticizing the goddamn gothic romance????? Am I some kind of monster? A ticking time bomb who'll listen tomorrow about a teen grooming victim of some degenerate and go "yeah but consider that she might have called on him on her dreams to liberate her and spread Covid around"???

To make a long story short, that passive-aggressive urge to self-psychologize with the hint that there's something wrong with myself did absolutely nothing to me,and I can explain it already as I did.

I had a romantic reading because I like gothic romance.

That's it, that's all the answer needed.

But I'm feeling rambly, so I'll elaborate. Because I like sounding the depths of the human mind and will and I like imagining it against powers that defy human measures. Because I like to imagine human nature as a universe, full of it's own destructive phenomena, natural disasters, secret cave systems and toxic geysers. Because in fiction I am free to do so, and can taste flavors that I would never seek out in the real world, like the vertigo of fulfilling the need for self-destruction, or the grandeur of being worth more than the entire world to someone, and what's more, I can acknowledge they exist, and can safely follow them to their logical limits from behind the safety of a book cover. Because on the page we can live out what can't be lived out in the real world even if we tried and because "some things belong on the page, others in life, and it's a blessed fool who can't tell the difference" and I don't know how others see themselves, but I am neither blessed nor a fool.

So needless to say, that wasn't the one it was probably intended as. Really interesting, though, to see such limited-minded puritanism take the stand on the event of Nosferatu coming out. Really interesting how, somehow, they are sounding more and more like crusaders of moral purity for the easily-deceived masses, only now dressed in some righteous "anti-abuse" garb, like abuse in the world will be affected if someone on the internet says that maybe the devouring embodiment of darkness that was rotting alive in the movie had some lasting and fatal effect on Ellen, and it didn't have to be love for it to be defining.

The real question is, why when your limit is the sky and you can make playgrounds out of your mind, do people feel the need to bring everything down to the unromantic, pedestrian and depressive reality that surrounds us whether we want it or not? As far as passive-aggressive urges for self-reflection go, I think that's a much more potentially productive one.

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Yesterday I wrote this post espousing that all of Ralsei's more "suspicious" or "mysterious" moments can be explained by the fact that he's being dragged around by Deltarune's narrative like a chew toy, in a similar way to how Kris is being dragged around by us players. I used this to explain how he could have gotten to the Cyber World, or why he revealed information about the Roaring at the exact moment he did.

But I didn't have a convincing way to use this to explain why he acts the way he does in the post-Spamton NEO fight. Until now.

For those who need a refresher - after you beat Spamton NEO, Susie stops the party and tried to draw attention to how weird the entire ordeal was. Kris is very clearly shaken and distraught, and we have an option to let them voice that distress. In response, Ralsei tells them not to worry about it, it meant nothing, and to think about nice things instead until they feel better. Which, while this seems like a sweet thing to do on the surface, many people have interpreted this as Ralsei trying to keep everything running smoothly, to downplay all the implications of what Spamton said and was trying to achieve for himself, and in doing so disregarding Kris's mental state and trying to fob them off with hollow platitudes.

Where people have made the mistake, I feel, is that Ralsei is doing this because he's trying to keep this information hidden from Kris, or because he doesn't actually care about their feelings and is only interested in serving the prophecy or the narrative. But actually, I think he probably didn't have much of a choice except to respond in the way he does.

Consider Ralsei's position for a moment. He has waited all by himself in the dark for his entire life, in service of a prophecy and the heroes it speaks of, chained figuratively - and perhaps even literally - to the game's narrative structure. Restore the balance of light and dark, save the world, don't ask questions. He has known no other structure, no other way of being. Perhaps he has privately lamented this fate, perhaps he feels that he is trapped and has no real influence... it makes no difference. He cannot break free of the narrative's yoke.

We can infer that Ralsei knows about the player, because he has conversations with Kris while we're distracted with Susie's antics. He knows that Kris is in a very similar situation to him. I'm willing to bet he also knows that making statements like "I understand what you're going through" or "We'll find a way to fix this" right in front of us, at that exact moment in time, would absolutely NOT help the situation, no matter how comforting Kris might find it.

Because not only does Ralsei not currently have the means to help liberate Kris from their strings - he cannot even liberate HIMSELF right now - and not only would it be even more of a meaningless gesture than a simple offer of cake or hugs as a result - but to draw attention to those strings in the first place would be an extremely dangerous thing to do, because then the players would KNOW that he's working to free them from our influence. And the Narrative would know, too. He cannot afford to draw too much attention to himself or the extent of what he knows at this moment in time. Not yet.

Indeed, perhaps he is banking on players seeing him as suspicious and callous, to draw attention away from the fact that he is actually very much on Kris's side and wants to help them. Remember, he has had at least one opportunity at this point to explain himself to Kris without prying eyes. There's a good chance that they know more than they're letting on, as well.

And this doesn't even take into account that Ralsei may very well be physically unable to say anything else, due to the possibility that the narrative heavily restricts what he can say or do.

Perhaps I am giving the fluffy boy too much credit here, I don't know. But it's fascinating to consider, nonetheless.

[buckydeservesthebest]

I really blame TFATWS' poor writing for essentially making the narratives of many of the characters inconsistent. I mean, they retconned the well known canon that the Winter Soldier wasn't activated until the 1960s, to now tell us he was at least since '51, for the sole purpose of introducing Isaiah to the story. I think with a little more thought, they could have found another more believable way to introduce him without having to change canon.

Not only was the entire script of the series written in a rushed manner, but the showrunner and writers did not have a clear understanding of the entire lore surrounding the characters. If I remember correctly, Spellman himself said in an interview that to prepare for writing the script, instead of devoting himself to watch and read about all the history of the main characters, he simply read a summary of their arcs in one of those wikis pages.

**Already in this post, it was explained very well why the plot holes and inconsistency in the narrative, especially Bucky's. But in the end, the ones who pay the price for the lack of production preparation are the characters themselves, because unfortunately they are always going to be at the mercy of what the writers want to do with them.**

But even with all the narrative inconsistencies, I think Bucky's action of assisting Zemo in his escape from prison is justified and was the right thing to do (according to the nonsensical plot), and in fact, the canonical book The Art of The Falcon and the Winte Soldier states that. Let's see:

The Flag Smashers were already a criminal rebel group involved in terrorist acts, and on top of it all, some of their members exhibited superhuman abilities, which made them even more dangerous. Bucky and Sam used the orthodox methods of tracking and investigation to capture them, without going to any extreme. It wasn't until they both realized that the FS were actually super soldiers, which meant that someone had recreated the serum, the biggest suspect being HYDRA, that the situation led Bucky and Sam to resort to more extreme measures.

I think it's important to talk about how once Bucky discovered that the existence of more super soldiers, and believing HYDRA was behind it all, he took the issue more personal, because believing it was HYDRA “his people”, he feels responsible over all the harm they may continue to cause.

In fact the Marvel Studios' The Marvel Cinematic Universe An Official Timeline book, talks about how ending the legacy of the other Winter Soldiers (evil super soldiers), was already a duty Bucky had self-imposed as part of the redemption he has always sought.

So the same applies for the case of the FS, a group of criminals born out of HYDRA's actions, something Bucky believes he has a responsibility to fight and stop.

I think some of Sam and Zemo's lines reference this as well:

Sam: I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.

Bucky: Someone recreated the super-soldier serum. I need to find out who. Zemo: You are assuming HYDRA has something to do with this, which is why you came to me, *which means you are desperate.* 

So considering that neither the government intelligence organizations nor the military have any information that would be helpful in figuring out how the serum was recreated (which was Bucky's main mission) nor about the whereabouts of the FS, that Bucky had no choice but to turn to Zemo.

Something interesting about this, and something that wasn't mentioned in the series, but was in the canonical book The Art of TFATWS. Is that before looking for Zemo, Bucky and Sam had already exhausted all available resources for their mission, with Zemo being the last and best card available to find out the origin of the serum and to stop the FS.

Another thing that is important to clarify is that before resorting to freeing Zemo, Bucky first tried to get useful information from him WITHOUT having to release him from prison, but he refused to help from behind bars, leaving Bucky no choice but to assist him in his escape.

One of the many inconsistencies in the handling of the characters by the production, was precisely Zemo, who was originally a ruthless criminal who did not mind killing innocents in order to fulfill his mission which was to separate the Avengers, now the plot of TFATWS makes him look like a kind of misunderstood anti-hero someone who always wanted to stop the creation of the super soldier serum, because he wanted to rid the world of more supremacist groups like the Avengers and the Nazis. When that was never his purpose in CW, he simply wanted to get revenge on the Avengers and break them apart, there was no interest there for the good of society like the version of him they wanted to sell us in TFATWS.

The point is that just as the plot tried to make Zemo a slightly more sympathetic character, who actually seeks the common good supposedly, very different from what we saw in CW. The nonsensical plot also made him the greatest super soldier expert in history, so in effect making him the only person in the entire series who would actually be helpful to Bucky and Sam in dealing with the FS problem, as well as figuring out the origin of the serum. So according to the canonically inconsistent and nonsensical plot, Bucky did do the right thing by assisting him in his escape because Zemo would be the only one who could provide help.

Another thing in Bucky's favor is that it is undeniable that he always intended to return him to prison, and I can bet it was always his intention to specifically return him to the custody of the Wakandans.

It's because of all this that I've always been against the idea that formed in the fandom that Bucky had betrayed Wakanda, he did NOT, because his intention literally NEVER was to harm them in any way, NOR much less benefit Zemo, which are the definitions of the word 'betrayal'.

And I mean, everyone talks about what Zemo's release meant for Wakanda, but no one talks about what having to team up with him meant for Bucky himself, how hard it must have been for him to have to interact with the one who was his abuser, who framed him for a crime and almost got him killed on more than one occasion, who reactivated the mind control that subjugated him to his will and forced him to hurt others.

For whom the release of Zemo from prison was hardest and most difficult was for Bucky himself, because he was literally the one who ended up being most harmed by his actions in CW. Yet Bucky jeopardized his conditional pardon, his friendship with Wakanda, as well as his own health and mental stability for the greater good. Because again, the plot made Zemo the only person who could help in the capture of the FS, as well as to get to Nagel and find out how the serum was recreated and stop him.

So, at the end of the day, Bucky always did the right thing for the good, even though the one who sacrificed the most and had the most to lose in all of this was himself.

"I don't ship T'Challa and Bucky".

Nor do I. You don't have to...

What do all close bonds have to result in ships anyway? There are other kinds of love than romantic/sexual and there are other kinds of bonds.

Why can't two characters have close emotional bonds without being romantically in love with each other? I say they can! I say we need more extremely close platonic/sibling- like relationships which do not involve who wants to sleep with whom.

Lol, sorry I am ranting. I love how you never pass up on a chance to shit on TFatWS though. It deserves it. Someone even theorized that the reason the scenes with the Wakandans are framed like that in the series is to insinuate Bucky betrayed them.

He would *never* have betrayed them. Bucky is not a betrayer. i'm not saying that to woobify him or because he's without flaw, but its just not in his nature to betray or backstab people. He's a protector by nature like you suggested. Not if he's able to exercize free choice and consent anyway. What he did as the Winter Soldier.. well can that even be counted as betrayal when it wasn't done of his free consent or choice?

Which all goes to show how little the writers of that series understood Bucky/just literally wanted to undermine and subvert everything about his established personality and nature. Why don't the writers just go ahead an kill him off already? Permanently this time. They clearly couldn't care less about his character at this point so they might as well. Just at least give him a heroic death....

Yeah, honestly Bucky breaking Zemo out isn’t my gripe, it’s that he’s not given a justification that matches his character. Say if the super soldiers were a threat to Wakanda, or even a direct threat to Sam (instead of them just doing their own thing and it’s really Sam and Bucky trying to stop their quest to provide vaccines for the refugees), and Zemo was once working closely with Nagel and had a direct line in, I would think that might be sufficient justification for Bucky to break Zemo out. As it stands it’s like three degrees of separation and it made no sense for Bucky to go that far, for something that had minimal returns.

I heard that Cap 4 will contain a scene where Isaiah becomes “possessed” in the manner of a brainwashed Winter Soldier and fights against Sam. I would be interested to see whether they treat that as Isaiah’s fault and something he needs to make amends for, or as something beyond his control and the fault of the person who controlled him — as it should be. Although, if they take the correct stance, given the writer is Spellman, I would question that divergent treatment of two similar characters. 

There is a subsection of series fans who believe any direct acknowledgment of Bucky’s extensive trauma or purporting he is a man with strong moral goodness is woobification. Pointing out that he is a good man who would not fucking do that is not what woobification is about.

I think there’s also a subsection of fans who prefer to characterise Bucky as morally ambiguous. It’s not the characterisation I see from movie canon, and I think it’s more in keeping with the comics Bucky who’s a very different character.

[hellinhawkins]

this may be a hot take BUT when finn says mike is trying to act “as normal as possible” i really don’t see that as byler proof? i mean i see it as more of him trying to act like all of everything with the upside down didn’t happen/didn’t bother him?

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[fromtheseventhhell]

I have a question for people who fervently argue that Arya has no potential for politics but think that Sansa will be one of the main political characters, and I'm asking this seriously.

If Arya learning multiple languages, how to tell + detect lies, how to rule her face so she doesn't reveal her emotions, being able to blend into different situations, thinking quick on her feet, knowing the importance of gathering information, being someone who makes friends wherever she goes, convincing a FM to help free Northern prisoners and participating in a coup, etc. don't make Arya capable of participating in politics...what exactly is it that you think Sansa will be doing as a political figure?

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[phlegm--princess]

my honest tierlist

[kyouka-supremacy]

WAIT YOU AREN'T AMERICAN???