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rk-ocs · 2 years ago

Text

Old oc quotes

"Wait! When did you get kidnapped by terrorists! Why did we never Talk about Obidah sooner! I could have prevented this Tony, why didn't you say anything!"

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What do you mean you almost Died of metal poisoning!

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"Just what is Red planing that involves a Kimono?"

"I don't know. Do you think it has anything to do with her plans to rob FedEx."

"No. She borowed Tonys sweater for that."

"I don't know what she has planed for today, and I don't want to know."

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Well it involves Reasons why Hydra should not use FedEx. A mision to Japan to shoot raccons, learn Japanese, and catch up to the twentith centry, and hiring Tony a bodyguard that is around as more of a full time.

Also giving the poor guy some space to reajust without being crowded by either side.

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Unless the clothing has some noteworthy reason to stand out, I'm probably not going to describe it.

"You know what, I really like Lucy's jeans. I mean who else do you know owns red bellbottom jeans."

"Ok. That's going to be a hard chrismas present to get."

"No No. We won't have to do that. The reason I'm bringing this up to you, is beacuse I'm planing to steal them, and I'll need your help with that. "

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Desmond Miles is sick of everyone's shinanagains. And yet resinged

That's it, someday Desmond will adopt eagles! Or more, the eagles will adopt him. And he will curse, and blame Red, and start takeing classes on falconery

Holy shit yes, Desmond with cross arms un the middle if a room filled with eagles surrounding him on all sides

Jacob Fyre is one of the two assassins in syndicate, and he starts a gang called the Rooks.

He's a lot more intrested in fistfighting more then this stealthy assassian stuff, much to his twin Evies annoyance, and though I had always intended them to meet (I had a draft where Red occasionally looks after them when they were younger) it's clear now Jacobs desire to lead a gang, was strengthened by Red and her accidently addopting things tendency.

Haha, n8ce on the adopting.

Tony picked up her tendacy to adopt things, except he adopts people.

Desmond is woried one day he will get an urge to adopt eagles or something. And train them to steal wallets. Clearly her need to adopt things can be passed on, and since he is around her so often, he one day might pick up stealing.

Yes, the world needs to hear about the genius of the catbonells

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Red first met Tony as a kid, a bit after she revived bodyguard training. Maria introduced him as your Principal, and knew about how to properly do this, beacuse in her past (and Reds future) red was hers for awile, and further down reds future, she protected her parents for a short time, and preseumably told them.

Red is bodygaurd for at least four familys, in diffrent time periods, and she is fond of bodyguard work, beacuse the principals are rich, so provide good and whatnot, some of them have been friends from a young age, like for one she has on off, helped raise, though not as much as the official first bodyguard Alba who has been around Amanda from birth, and was Reds first principal. Alba considers bodygaurding serious buisness, and is kind of like a faimly retainer. And Red is sort of this accidently, but likes the job, and is friends with the principal. As she met Tony the youngest of his faimly, and has known him the longest, they are close friends. Or she is that second cousain, that no body talks about, and comes over anyways.

I think the first party happened when Tony was thirteen, and they met when he was eight.

The first meetings I wrote earlier are AU, beacuse they didn't really work.

Maria and Tony have Spanish ancestry, btw. Like Xavier Carbonell the artist.

Red gets to make sure dogs get well taken care of. Sometimes to destress, she goes to visit the shelter ( which ridiculously spoils the dogs, and also provides work and training to those who need it, which is why Tony counts or as philandriphist activity, beacuse it's in his name, so he has to talk about it sometimes) and just play with dogs. And check how they are running the place.

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Yah, Red isn't as bad on friends. And Tony let's her have a lot of freeway with money anyways, being a timetravler is great for investing in stock. That she used some of the money on philanthropist projects like all the dog shelter/homes She starts, and hired practicly homeless people and whatnot to run it.

She loves dogs. She wants to adopt like every dog. Tonys like, so long as I can make robots, I don't really care.

Desmond facepalms whenever this tendancy pops up.

"All of your friends look after your various dogs. And then there's Tony. This is a tad ridiclous."

She was Robing FedEx for the same reason for why Hydra should not use FedEx. She found the correct package. She decided Tony needed a more permeant bodyguard.

I do sometimes dance. I think running might also help, if this urge didn't hit me at times like 10:30 pm.

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I kove that . I just really love Red right now. Haha, nice Red disguised as younger Tony, in a party full of investors and what not. Does Maria notice this? Like she makes a game out of it if she can get red to break character. A bored genius is a dangerous one

No, problems on this side either. Nist of them tend to rationalize it as I will need this, they don't anymore .

Guess i gotta keeo an eye out for my stuff around Red then lol .

I haven't. I have heard of it by whisperes post in tumbkr with Canada. That sounds good, i hope to try one if i ever see a Tim Hortons

Have you walked it out or i dunno uh i tend to dance a butchered version of ballet if i get restless. Music tends to help but it just makes it worse on my part

I eanna try that. Stop making me hungry for food xD

Oh, Maria does what bored guiness mothers do. Start telling embarasing Tony stories, to see how Red can get out of that while reasonably staying in character. Of course Maria noticed, Red has done that for her too. Not that Red knew that yet, but she does catch on to Maria noticing her.

I think she has dressed up and impersonated Tony to be a decoy for something when they were younger. It could have been for something dangrous just as easily as it could have been a borring event he didn't want to attend.

She does impressions and impersonated people all the time, but the voice can't sound exact. Just very good. She has attention to details, but rarely history.

"I don't know Desmond, what happened in 2012."

"That was the year I got kidnapped. You know, the year we were almost destroyed by the sun."

"I knew that. Someone was saying something about a present or something. Whatever."

If it's not relevant , she dosent really care.

Yah, I tend to find most of my characters at the very least seem to be corpse robbers.

Red is a shameless pickpocket.

"Hey Desmond. Today, some guy named David Johnson will be paying for lunch with his credit card. So for today, your David, K"

"Damnit Red, when did you nab that. "

"Common David! Lets go to Applebees."

Have you ever been to Tim Hortans. I'm aware that an American company owns it now (to which I am a little offended by) and there might be some around down there . If so, have you ever tried a creamy maple chill? Its super sweet, and rich, but I kind of like it.

Yah, but that's the thing. I'm haveing trouble sitting still. Its figitty. I sit and I need to get up again.

I found out today that pizza ghetti (spaghetti pizza) is a thing in Quebec (and some other proviances, but mostly Quebec).

Yah, she finds running past a fight and pickpockiting the opponents the most useful skill out there. It requires her looking and figuring out what's in their pockets first, but that's always helpful. Swipe and run.

She does do a lot of stealing. Still, various people in her life are giving her limits on what is appropriate to steal when.

Any guesses as to why she needed Tonys sweater?

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And then I imagined Red being like

"Hey Tony, I need to go Rob FedEx , and I'm borrowing your sweater. Be back in a few days."

Tony: "...? Ok?"

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Yes, Just him and Bucky, not breaking hearts, but messing with Germans by deploying the ghost army.

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I like to try to get Red to meet people she will friendship, though some people she just can't help but dislike. Then there are neutrals. And of course, there are some people she just hates. And the sun. The sun is on that list most days.

Ahh, yes I can see them clashing over that. But wouldn't that make it funnier if he gave one of the shovel talks?

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Maybe. I think I want to do that digitally though, so I might wait untill Monday where I have access to Adobe illustrator at school.

Red, would probably not be traditionally pretty, she has a lot of scars, which stand out more with the pale skin. But beyond that, Mars would probably fix her nose and whatnot if it broke. They want her in the best condition, and it includes inocculating her against any desiease they can think of, to prevent her from accidently starting a plague sometime.

Of course it's not out of alterism. They have use for her fighting skills.

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Red originally was a much darker blond. But then I realised, she wouldn't complain about sunburn so often. She takes after her dad in colouring and her mom or mixed in features.

Well, that and I wanted her to stand out. That way she does want to learn disguises more, and enjoys the sun barrier the skin colouring of the diguise out teaches.

I haven't come up with a name for it yet, but I have a concept of something that you would use for disguise that can change your skin colour. It will give you sun, and will show tan if you have been out awile, or even sun burn in appropriate skin types. It washed off with its counter and not even water will get rid of it. Red, pretends to have darker skin then she does, as it covers up as her tattoos and scars, unless she adds some, and it lessens her chances of getting burnt by the sun.

Red is pale. Pale skin (that everything shows up well on) pale blonde hair, light grey eyes.

Though sometimes I'm tempted to have them dark grey for contrast.

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She has killed a lot of people, and dosent usually feel to upset about that. She had trouble seeing what was wrong about teaching a seven year old to use a gun, and is more upset at Lenas distress then the fact that Lena killed someone.

She gets that first kill can be distressing, but puts Lenas life over Damions and would have done the same thing If she had been at the house. She was 'killed' by a convieance store robber, and is glad Lenas home invasion has a diffrent outcome.

So she empathisises with Lena, but dosent quite think she would change it, unless she could have had Lena out of the house and avoid the whole thing.

And some people tell her that she should learn dillomacy, that she should prevent loss of life, and others praise her for being an exclent accident specilist.

She's kind of confused about the whole thing, as a teen really.

"Did you forget? I'm a terrible person. This will be no problem for me. "

With age, she kind of finds a sort of ballance, but still finds the killing tabo thing a tad strange. So long as it's on appropraite targets , and clean kills, she dosent quite get the deal.

She's trying to get better at diplomacy and negotiation.

She's going for break their arm if they attack, when asked.

Its getting a little easier to do it without being asked, but she still needs reminders sometimes.

Her head is a strange place

And she's also selfish. I don't know you, I wouldn't do that for a stranger. But then she goes into a house on fire, beacuse the person is still alive, and probably won't die if I do this now.

But she will kill a lot of people to keep her friends safe, and society has strange morals about that.

She doesn't quite have a normal moral compas

Have i ever mentioned lately how much i really love Red?

It might take her quite a bit to feel that way about herself

She puts her friends as a value higher then her.

Beacuse if they die, she will lose them, where she has been comeing back from the worst hits since she was eight (I think)

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Red is also not that big on being touched. Neither is Tony. Red would prefer to initiate contact, then be surprised by it. At times she's not sure if a hug is needed and just hovers awkwardly around, and resist the urge to stiffen up if they do hug her. They should hug, but both of them are ridiclous people like that, and that's what Desmond is around for. "Serriously you guys, hug. "

She would pick kid Tony up for a piggyback if he asked. Or carry him if needed.

Does picking him up, and carrying kid Tony to a private place to cry help, and tell him about, something mundane, like how to tell good fruit from bad. She wouldn't shove him off if he curled in, but they would be talking, or end up working on something.

If I had to make a music video for tony, I would go with one of Bo Burnhams finales. Like "We think we know you."

As adults they would probably go and play video games. And talk. And sit on the couch, and stop being Tony and Red, and be pokemon fans. And have something in the tv. Other days they would play Bioshock or something but bad days are no weapons games, and this way they can be competitive and distracted from lifes problems.

Body swap from the same story I showed earlier has Darcy and Tony , senses, and self care. That's probably a bad way to explain it but, I think I need that now

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Even though there are a lot of things about Tonys personal quirks that probably means I wouldn't get along with Tony, I like his character. I get some of the things about his character in my own way. Tony is an artist who grew up in the spotlight. If left alone he would probably just sit in his lab and make things. And get hyperfoccused and not eat. I admire his ambition.

The thing I find about being any kind of celebrity is that the media builds them up to tear them down.

Tonys work will get imeadite attention, and he is praised to the skies for his sucess, and dragged down for his failures.

He decided, these weapons are my mistake, and I will fic this.

The world looks up to him, and he is under so much pressure to deliver, and now that he's a hero, he tries with everything hes got. He puts his mind, his body, his sainity, his hopes and dreams into his work.

And at times it comes crashing down around him. And that hurts, that failure hurts so much, and the world wacths Tony Fail and holds him so accountable.

Tony, I think, is not the type to like to have other people in charge of him. He has some people he trusts, to varying degrees, and he will take orders from, but that's personally chosen. To see him arguing for the Slovakia accords felt kind of strange, but after his last failure, I can see why he would be doing that.

He made a huge mistake, and he is takeing all the blame. No really, Bruce was kind of involved in the science bender, but is probably doing a runner, beacuse he is already afraid of how people react to the Hulk.

So Tony is there, and feeling like crap.

NothingIdoisgoodenough. Imnotgoodenough. Iamaterribleperson. WhydidIthinkIcouldmakethingsbetter, Iamsuchascrewup. Ialwayshavebeen,andalwayswillbe. Icantdothis.

Familiar thoughts to artists, cbeacuse we do at times feel that way about our work, and Tony must feel so much worse, beacuse his killed so many people, and he didn't want to make things to kill people anymore.

Beyond suits, beacuse those things saved his life.

Then Cap going against what he thinks, and bringing a wanted man (and his parents killer) into his place uninvited.

And it goes downhill even more.

Someone give that man a hug, but he dosent like hugs, so Red, you go to him as a kid, and teach him disguises, so he can get some time away from being Tony Stark all the time.

And make him food, and Later get Desmond to make you eat food regularly, beacuse God knows the two of you are terrible at eating regularly

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Ahh, your dorks are so happy! It's heartwarming! What is the book called?

Sometimes in the quieter moments, Red paints scenery. She can draw people pretty well, but there's something about water colour paintings she just likes. She will use other mediums if she has them, but water colour is easier to carry and use in a variety of places. Or watercolour pencils.

On the bad days it's deffinatly not scenery.

Does Red ever hang her paintings? That's so cool. I wanna know what she paints on bad days but i kinda don't wanna know but do

I wonder if Tony have her paintings. Does she have sone of Desmond and Maria? Who does she paint more of?

Some places she sells them. them. Sometimes Her friends hang them.

Sometimes she draws people they ask her to describe as witness statments or something. She was taught very accurate anatomy.

Other times she draws people she is peoplewacthing.

Occasionly she does portraits. Tony asked for one of his mother once, and she realised, Oh, thats why Maria gave me permission to paint that one day. I ask later , apparently.

She also paints scenery on Tonys walls, in his old home. Sometimes she paints on the walls on had days too, but that is usually after drawing for awhile and calming down. Sometimes an outlet can help you think about something more calmly, even if it is still not a story you want to share. Desmond is not allowed to look at that skethbook.

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Logan and Helga are Jason and Eleanors Parents

.They are the Ryans

Even if it dosent play out in the story, I need to know these little details so I can write them accuartly as I can.

Her mother is Angela Lareau- Jordan. Her father is Jason Ryan.

Her cousian has a dead twin so they gave her both sets of names.

Mary-Jacob, Elizabeth-Brandon, Monique- Theirry, Ryan- Laframbois.

We just call her M.T

MTs parents are Eleanor Ryan and David Laframbois

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I'm trying to develop people in Reds life, especially Pre Desmond, beacuse they didn't beacome a team untill after he died (and he was the ghost snoop) and became Jesus. Martians brought him back.

I decided that she has had three serious relationships.

One was a one faded, one was a mutual break, and the last was with a rival where they broke up (mutualy) after their competitiveness got them into serious trouble.

I'm comeing up with ways that might have reached that, but all that's really hitting me was they put themselves and someone else in mortal danger through it, or they almost (or really) caused an international incident

Most other dates Red goes on are really more for the food, and some intresting conversation.

I think the mutual break up, might have happened dateing someone durring the zombie appolyapce. Seeing your girlfriend die, (and it's bad enough that she's your friend and that hurts, but worse as a girlfriend somehow) and meeting her latter when she's older, or younger, ect, is not a relationship that is easy on the partner, especially in zombietimes. They can work together fine, are even still friends after some distance, but long term was not in the cards for them. That's kind hard, and she got that.

Now the rival, was a lot of fun to date, but also kind of covers why you shouldn't date a rival. You focus more on compeating then compromise and communication. Then you both end up escalating it too far, and cause an international incident.

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Her lack of filter drives Desmond nuts. She has one when in a mask, but relaxed and casually chatting some will unknowingly reveal disturbing information. And then people just look at her with alarmed faces, and she shuts up, blushes,and leaves.

Yah, Red sitting there thinking "...this was not what I thought you wanted to talk about in the slightest."

And then there are her friends who are talking about a subject she has no Idea about, because she is hopelessly out of touch with whats going on right now in the world.

She sits there wondering "Do we normally talk about this? Is this something that happened last time you saw me, and you are finishing a conversation I haven't had yet? Do I know your friend? Is it rude to ask for a name?

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I decided to flesh out the wacthdogs part of Reds story. In a diffrent direction from cannon, the car accident that was meant to assassinate Aiden, took his nephew Jackson instead of his niece Lena. He's still looking for revenge, but Lenas reaction went differently from Jacksons

I didn't quite expect it to lead where it did, but Red is a bad influence on children. Shes known this faimly, ever since she came into this time running, and was hit by their car. She's kind of that cousian that sometimes shows up to the kids. She does not think that what comes out of her mouth will be influence them that much, when she plays with normal children. She is proven wrong several times.

Anyways, when Red got out of the hospital around the beginning of watch dogs, Lena meets her at the hospital and asks her to teach her to use a gun. This is a seven year old.

Red gets the sense that Lena will get a gun and learn anyways, if she says no, beacuse and she might as well be there to teach her to shoot safe

Red, who also learned to use weapons at a young age, and learning made her feel safer, does not see much of a problem with teaching this, and goes about teaching her to responsibly use an H&R 243 rifle. (one that would be ok for a child recoil wise, and prevent bad habbits from forming latter)

She gives a safety lecture, and tells Lena that one day She Wil take her hunting. (Red intends Lenas first kill to be very diffrent from her own, done in a safe and controlled enviorment, to an food, from a distance)

Red is a good teacher , but actions have consequences

When Aiden met up with his sister at the beginig, she had been getting crank calls threatning robbery.

In the game, Damien Brenks breaks into his sister's house, kidnaps Nicole, and uses her to get Aiden to do work for him in excange for her saftey.

(I did not expect it the following )

Here, Damien breaks into the house intending to get Lena, or Nicole, and meets up with an armed Lena that ends up with her shooting him in the head, and completely derailling the later plot of watchdogs.

She is alive beacuse Jackson successfully called shotgun seat in this verse, and then this happens.

I'm sorry. Kind of. I don't know. I knew something bad was going to happen when Red taught her to fire a gun, but I did not expect it to take the turn it did where a seven year old kid shots someone fataly. Even Red was probably eight in the conviance store disaster.

I don't know how to feel about this one to be honest. I mean, red gets into all kind of messes, and probably brings people into them, but this was a seven year old. Aidens neice.

All I knew about her before this, was that when She was twenty she had a TMI talk with Red in the hospital about her sexuality and the people who we're involved in her journey to figure that out.

Lena is the sort of person who does talk to random people about her issues, and Red is the kind of person who sometimes gets TMI conversations as a confidant, and didn't expect to have that happen.

Well, Lena really derailled the game plot, in a way I was never expecting her to, and It could be intresting to see, what comes of it.

Desmond will use this as a primary example of why Red should not be a babaysitter.

"You taught Tony to drive."

"Tony could have probably hotwired the car, and learned by himself anyways. anyways. Teaching him was safer "

"You also taught a seven year old to use a gun."

"I think she would have found one and learned anyways. Gun safety is important."

"She shot a man in the head."

"He was breaking and entering. And Damien. "

"She shot a man in head, Red."

After this, along with paying for therapy for all involved. (she was able to get her hands on a fair bit of Damien's money) she signs Lena up for Karate. And leaves her money to continue with the lessons.

Nither of them are wrong, per say, but people are more inclined to agree with Desmond.

This is not the zombie apocalypse times

I may agrer with Desmond ,but i do believe with Red at some point they will need to learn. More so Tony i doubt he will just take no okay. He will probably one way or another its better to teach him now. However she should have probably took more precautions with a child and a gun.

Yah, she was younger then, and she taught gun safety and shooting fine. She just didn't... think this all the way through, to possible consequences.

She was trained to use weapons at a young age, after all, and probably didn't think too hard about teaching a kid, beyond makeing sure she can do it safely and supervised.

She went over instructions like "never point a gun at something you don't intend to shoot. Keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction. "

It was, a home invasion. invasion, and not an accident.

Yah, Red kind of realised. "I should have started her off with martial arts, rather then let her insist. "

So she dosent repeat that incident again, but she dosent have much of a filter for "things not appropriate to teach to children. "

Yah, everyone involved need some grief therapy at least about Jackson, and probably a fair bit more, especially Lena.

In game Jackson was going to therapy after the death of his sister, and wouldnt talk to anyone except his mom.

How dare he get Ivette into star trek!

Jk that's adorable

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Tony stark has a thing for adopting superheros.

Tony does have a thing for adopting superheros.

Yes, I want a sciencing hulk at my tower.

Sure I'll take a sniper and assassian.

You might as well be here in my Avengers Tower. Take that fury!

I'm glad she is relatable. relatable. I tried to make her flawed and relatable. And she dosent quite get normal conventions, like why it was a bad Idea to teach ten year old Tony how to drive like a get away driver.

Tony. If Tony decided to rule the world, she would probably do her best to make it happen. There is another universe out there, where she and Tony fought their way to the top and started the Iron empire. Pepper potts rules the world. And Red protects them. They are all in armor.

But that is not this world.

I'm going to have to learn more about math, to write her as a sniper, mechanic, medic, And hacker. She's the kind of person who can rattle off cordnites like a boss. Its important for accurate telleporting. Sometimes,when she's really desprate, she can convince herself of a fourmula to slow down.

On the other hand, her foccus often has her putting personal things on the burner. Self care, relationship care, happiness.

She has work priorities.

She likes people, and she can fake it to strangers, but friends. She doesn't genraly like to lie to them.

Haha, Red and Tony talk tech so much. She likes math

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I got the idea, if there being other precursor talents from Desmond. The dude is almost sage in precursor percentage of blood, but dosent have the eagle vission, despite his ancestors having it. Including three generations of Kenways at least.

He only activated Eagle vision, from the bleeding effect of the animus.

So I think he had something else before,and eagle vission might have overwrote it.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but in the assassins creed verse, most assassins we play have eagle vision.

But eagle vision probably wasn't the only sense that could be enhanced, just the most famous one. And wanted

Red is trained, to use it. It can indicate to her if people are lying (though about what she has to use logic and reading people skills) and tracking , along with regular things scent trained people can do like sillage, and picking out fresh ingreadents. We can pick up emotions to some extent by scent, although our brain tells us by body language.

We are not alone in our head. We have the left brain and the right brain. The left brain gets surprised when the right does something unexpected,and logics it to us as something we were planning.

Especialy as her precursor talent is scent/taste

Oh! Red, that sucks. Imagine vinegar, i have better smell and jesus i hate the sharp nurning smel of it.

That is a nice tattoo

Desmond got Red a scarf in Assassian colours. It's white with red maple leaves at the tips. It doubles as a Canada scarf.

She wears scarves, and wraps them around her face, when going into overwhelming smell areas. Like the sewers...or the body shop for soap

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That's the thing. People see so much of Howard in Tony.

What kind of woman could keep Howard's attention that he would want to marry?

Probably not some trophy wife.

No, he would go for someone intelligent. Someone headstrong. Someone who he won't get bored with.

Perhaps they are not the most suited people to be parents, beacuse they both get so caught up in their projects, and each other, that they don't pay enough attention to Tony.

Of the two of them, she gets along more with Tony then Howard, but Tony really wants his father's attention, but their relationship is rocky.

Sometimes she plays the piano with him, and he loved that.

No, I like to think that Tony inherited traits from both of them, and his mother was kind of overlooked beacuse Howard stood out more, and the male dominated society overlooks her.

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Red being drived crazy by Maria sometimes makes me laugh. That's really amazing, i always saw Tony taking after Howard but his mom makes it 100 time better

She is fonder of Tony then Maria, though she will never tell them that. Tony met her as a kid. They were friends from a young age. Maria met her when they were both older, and she was kind of assigned to Maria to keep her safe. Beacuse I kind of Headcannon Both Maria and Howard driving their bodyguards nuts in diffrent ways by being geniuses with more brains then common sense or patience.

Tony inherited his brains for both of them.

"Trust me, you do not get that just from your father. "

Maria is kind of condescending at times, and stubborn, and gets tunnle vission to her goals. She sort of occasionally treats Red as faimly property, and Red kind of is, Beacuse Maria's parents already knew her, and saw fit to send her to gaurd their daughter with no interview, meaning she must have impressed the pants off of them sometime in the past.

Still it helps sometimes.

"That is my secratary, hands off. "

She refers to a lot of people possessively.

"What did you want with my son?"

Tony might just be the third generation she has been a tempoary bodyguard for.

Probably the one with the longest contract, in his faimly.

I decided a thing about Reds fassion. When she's out in public she will be wearing clothing which colour and style is remicent of who she is around. Like, I can't see her carrying clothing with her, so it would make sense of she's almost always wearing other people's. Beyond her tattered oversized reversible sweater she won't get rid of. And for important people like her principals,she will be wearing their colours. Like around Tony, she wears black pants, red sweater, and a gold broach, as casual, where around Maria (his mom) she wore a lavender sweater and pkatnium white pants.

It's kind of important for blending for her too. If she is wearing her Principals colours, she won't be questioned as much on why she is here. But, she also cares, despite herself.

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And I headcannon that the longer she has the shard, the further she will go when she accidently telleports out of danger and knocks herself out. This can lead to near -(should have died)-death and wakeing up in a new place, beacuse being uncouncious does not mean safe or patched up from wounds. When She learns to use it intentionly (involving math) and when not in danger( physical, although everyone says that the shard will one day probably drive her crazy, especialy if she keeps useing it to grab groceries and other mundane things), she becomes like a casual apperator in Harry potter. It won't protect her from everything, but it can be good for a saving throw.

She despratly does not want the wrong people to learn about it.

Headcannon two is that Tony who grew up with her in his life, is both kind of corrupted by her in some ways, and better at blending in when he wants to.

She taught him something about minute masks, and how other people behave, so sometimes he doesn't have to be Tony Stark, when he needs to be someone else.

She teaches him exactly what he asks. Which is why at age ten, Tony learned to drive. He's learned her signs, he's learned Martian, he's learned how to paint with a tablet, all beacuse he asked "teach me that".

Principals are some of the few people she meet who are meeting her for the first time too. Bodyguard conditioning may keep her loyal, but frindship keeps her honest. She is a closser friend then should probably be professional, but being a friend means you get in disguise and go crash a party your not invited to, or a movie, or bowling. Sure most people probably don't have observation tests after that, but it's a lot more normal then they usually get. That's how you learn that normal people don't all have hot tubs, and other important disguise tips.

---

In another world, Tony Stark is raised by a Bucky Barns breaking his conditioning, constantly on the run from hydra. Red is a kid they occasionly take to the hospitial, and repays in false ID, cover in firefights, sabatoge, and teaching Tony Languages, math, science, and genraly chatting.

In a diffrent one, she is there, but Tonys goal is to rule the world to best protect it, and she will do anything to help him get there. He will be carried to the throne by her, as she cuts down those who try to stop him.

In another world, she is Jasper, and Tony is Hydra 's leader. Yet another has her an Hydra asset, and Bucky his bodyguard.

But Tony thinks the worst worlds, are the ones where he is alone. No Red to teach him, or tell him about Hydra. No Bucky to take him around the world, on the run, but happy. Just Him and Obie. Or possibly the female Tony and Obie, who designs better programs then he could dream about. Those Tonys always come off as bitter and lonley.

----

Headcannon , Desmond got snaged by Templars when he went to go pick up borderlands 2 he ordered.

---

Headcannon, Red deffinatly played videogames and other media from her world with Tony, so they are always referencing things no one else gets, as an in joke.

----------

Ok let's break this up so tumbler doesn't send it to space or something.

Sorry if you've already seen parts. The AU Red of another world. Perhaps the soulmarks of life-changing people.

I don't know how many marks she has, but her first one, that She meets (and in some Alternate Soul marks the only one) says "don't move" on her neck. That is of course, the robber who robbed the convieance store her cousin works at, beacuse whatever comes of that situation, it will be life-changing.

This wouldn't quite be cannon, beacuse she wouldn't quite say it this way I think.

Strays

Somehow she's picked up a tendency to adopt things. Did it come from her apparent adoption of Aeiden? Did his niece niece addopt her? Or Aeidens sister? Or did she adopt them into her life with him?

Perhaps its a learned habit from the strange rich people she hangs around with. She certainly is often an older sister figure to their children. And some orphans. Then possibly a generation or two of zombie appolcyapse survivors. Jacob and Evie. Countless dogs. A few cats. Her students. And Desmond.

It weirds her out more when the people around her seem to share this habit. Like Conner and their ridiculous amount of dogs. And the hospital she accidentally started. And his second child he adopted.

Her students and their pets, for clearly she has been a bad influence on them.

Not to mention Amanda (who seemed to want to marry Desmond). Or Tony, who had taken to adopting superheroes, and also Desmond for good measure. Or Thor who is just as bad as Clint Or her at bringing back stray animals.

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#desmond miles #red jordan ryan #writing #original character #assassins creed #marvel #tony stark #howard stark #maria stark

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bonejunky6669 · 1 year ago

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More people should know that you literally never have to buy expensive posters. You can print anything on waterproof/cardstock paper for $1-3 on the FedEx website and pick it up within a day. And it's not like you are stealing/profiting off of whatever the image is, if you're just putting it on your wall to decorate your room there's nothing wrong with that it's purely personal use that no one even knows about lol. I do strongly encourage buying prints/posters straight from the artist if the artist is an independent creator who could really benefit from the support and money. But otherwise never buy into the scam of getting $10-15 dollar posters online when that shit costs nothing to make.

#was thinking abt this because i was browsing etsy for posters the other day because im completely redecorating my walls #and so many of them are so expensive especially for not being *original* art #i have just been taking any image online that i like and printing them at fedex for like a dollar each its so great #even at irl stores posters can be so overpriced it is just not worth it #printing yourself is so easy the posters will be the exact same quality too #capitalism is a disease #also if you order a print on the fedex website during the day it'll usually be ready within like half an hour if youre picking up #im not sure abt shipping though

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years ago

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~ 𝘊𝘶𝘮 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴!𝘴𝘬𝘻 ~

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ�� ; what ever the fuck this is,,, fem!reader, cum tributes duh, masturbation, cum tributes, public masturbation, erotic pictures/videos, cum, stealing?, pervy behaviours, established relationships, lingerie, mentions of humiliation, mentions of fwb,

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ; i asked, yall said yes and i delivered,,, not sure if its like nice shipping quality or like fedex HASHAS no but enjoy whatever this headcanon is

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

Chan

ayo why use the pictures of his lover that are saved on his phone when he can just import the pictures to his computer and jerk off in the studio BIG BRAIN STUFF-

just that entire like scene,,, just seems very hot to me like im sure you can agree

the backwards lean in his office chair with his head hanging kinda off the edge as he strokes his throbbing cock that just oozing with precum yum.

why did i write yum the fuck-

most of the pictures he cums to are your nudes which i mean he’s a man of classics

he also thinks about like previous times yall had sex just cause it makes him kinda “relive” the moment althought he could very much just call you and ask you to come over to,,, help him ;))

ok but imagine this right; if yall had just broken up,,, and he was missing you,,,

theres no doubt in my mind that he would jerk off to your pictures and NOT EVEN THE NUDES NOW BECAUSE HE’S JUST SO DESPERATE AND MISSES YOU TO MUCH POOR MAN WILL TAKE WHATEVER HE CAN GET

if he does cum on the screen best believe he clean that shit up S P O T L E S S

Minho

feels no shame whatsoever when it comes to asking for pictures-

nah legit its not even like he’s trying to come up with an excuse in order for you to send some nudes or pictures in lingerie

“supply me with pictures, babygorl” HASHASAHS

and whenever you joke by saying that he’s a pervert he calls you out cause lets be honest, you probably have a similar habit

“alright then, open your phone. how many of my nudes havent you saved huh?”

i feel like if you guys weren’t in a relationship he would do it as a “claiming” thing

like he cant have you since he’s not sure if you like him back and so he thinks about you every night when he masturbates, going crazy over the most innocent photos

he probably prefers the innocent photos since your cute face covered in his cum makes him hard again even if he just finished all over his phone screen

might i take this a step further and say that the two of you are friends and he “innocently” snaps photos of you with like a polaroid only to sneak a couple home grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THATDSGFSHDf

Changbin

the typical cliche that he keeps a picture of you naked in his wallet WE’VE ALL HEARD IT BEFORE

but hey its convinient since he always has it with him wherever he goes,,, ok but so would his phone but shush

soo,,, a lot of public masturbation going on,,,

like in public restrooms, in like the music awards waiting rooms,,, you name it-

and only your hot body can make him cum as hard as he does in the most DIRE OF TIMES

often makes excuses for why he asks for sexy pictures from you EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE NEED AN EXPLANATION IF WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU BEING HIS S/O

but,,, if yall were like fwb he would still ask for nudes be which makes you raise an eyebrow since he asks for them quite often,,, more then sex and so you kinda suspect that he’s catching feelings for you.

oh what fun thought.

nah he’s just using them to get off since he finds you incredibly hot,,, AND MAYBE,,, YES HE IS CATCHING FEELINGS

how can he not when he keeps cumming on his phone screen, spilling his seed all over your face or body, obsessed with the way his cum glistens on the color of your skin.

Hyunjin

hear me out HEAR ME OUT

this mf has his camera rolls arranged, like different albums of either cute photos or sexy photos

i have a hard time visualising that he would jerk off to the innocent photos just because he kinda wants to “conserve” your innocence,,, even though he fucks you into oblivion sooo,,,

like idk why but i just kinda get this vibe that he wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he is,,, indeed cumming on his phone screen REGULARLY due to your pictures because he kinda wants to get caught by you

,,, maybe even a bit ridiculed and humiliated just cause it makes him even harder >:((

slut behaviour i guess.

but probably only does it like at home and TERRIBLY AFRAID TO LIKE KEEP PHYSICAL PHOTOS since anyone can find them if they fall out or smth and that would require an explanation,,,

nah but nothing beats actually cumming inside you so keeps it to a minimum

if he’s really needy and his cock is throbbing then its the good ol’ “cumming to my s/o photos”

Jisung

idk something about me just makes me think that he is sometimes too lazy to like go to his camera roll and because he has his phonescreen background as you he just kinda,,, masturbates to that-

look, i know jisung is a nice boy HE IS but like given that he’s VERY comfortable with his s/o in later stages of a relationship he wouldnt hesitate to cum on like your underwear or smth NO DOUBT IN MY MIND NONE

he just doesnt like the hassle of things, keeps it easy by just using the pictures he has on his phone

adamant on using ONLY you to jerk off, like MHM HE DOESNT LIKE PORN if he’s in a relationship

but i feel like he has this ground level of shame for his behaviour?

cause its lowkey pervy AND SO HE DOESNT TELL YOU SHIT but if you were to find out i guess he would just have to hide for a week before he could look you in the eyes again

also very easy to get off? like it doesnt have to be sexy pictures or videos of you, the most casual pictures work as well since,, he’s a HORNY BOY I SENSE IT

a shy pervy horny boy.

Felix

i have the feeling that the only reason he would do this is like,,, if he has a crush on you or if he cant have you

i know this is gonna sound,,, interesting but BUT what if you were like a milf or smth and felix was some young boy in the neighbourhood your wealthy s/o hired to like mow the lawn but felix has this raging crush on you so he like,,, steals,,, stuff kinda?? like your panties or just other stuff besides just having a stalker-ish amount of photos of you saved on his phone

he’s like a pervy boy, doing this just because he’s so desperate to touch you >:((

i mean if lixie had a s/o i dont think he would favour this because it feels kinda “objectifying” in his eyes, he likes,,, cumming on you AHSHA AS IF THATS NOT-

,,, he fucks up in to his hand by like moving his hips,,, i-imagining that he’s fucking you,,,

imma leave this here before i spiral out of control because honestly if its felix i can-

Seungmin

let me just say that he takes immaculate polaroids of you in lingerie or topless like grrr they look like art projects

seungmin is no regular boy ooooh noooo he prints out the pictures and probably covers his fucking wall in them or like has them neatly placed in a folder or smth so he always has them whenever he needs them

,,, and he needs them a lot

always begging to take new picture cause THEY OBVIOUSLY GET RUINED CAUSE HE KEEPS CUMMING ON THEM

its like how many different angles of me do you need and why have you already taken one hundered pictures-

he’s kinda casual to it? like maybe cumming to pictures of his s/o is his love language HAHHAHS WHO KNOWS

but like not TOO obvious you know

gotta keep it classy.

HSHASHA AS IF IT IS BUT AIGHT-

Jeongin

this is his secret.

LIKE HE DOESNT CARE IF YOURE HIS S/O OR SMTH HE WOULD NOT TELL A SOUL THAT HE’S DOING SOMETHING SO SINFUL TO THE MOST INNOCENT PICTURES OF HIS S/O OR TO THE SCENT OF YOUR PERFUME KDDSJKJHDFSKJ

would rather sink underground.

he finds it even worse to masturbate to your nudes or smth cause he’s too shy to do it EVEN THOUGHT HE HAS SEEN YOU NAKED MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE-

he just gets too shy and his cheeks just flare up with heat making him inept to do anything besides staring at the picture

BUT HE ALSO FINDS IT SO HORRIBLE THAT HE HAS TO USE THE PICTURES OF YOUR CUTE FACE IN ORDER TO GET OFF

very much in a conflict with himself but lowkey addicted to it like it feels so wrong but so right

legit just easier if you help him out yourself hsdsfjdj

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notyetneedcoffee · 4 years ago

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Can’t Run

Steve Rogers is a wanted man. He broke the Accords, broke the law, and is still trying to do what’s right. . . even if it may get him killed.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Cannon level violence in this chapter, NSFW in future

New series. Others can be found on my Steve Masterlist

Enough of the cold night air seeped into your old house to prompt you to pull on a heavy sweatshirt and wool socks. It’s not that you couldn’t turn the heater up, you just did see the need. If you could live in a cold tent through an Afghanistan winter, an east Cascade Mountain cold snap wouldn’t kill you.

Gary, your Belgium Malinois, curled up in front of the wood stove on his dog bed. You gave him a quick scratch on your way to the kitchen. The lights were low. All the devices were off. You just needed some quiet time. Maybe a beer would be good, too.

Before you could pull open the refrigerator, your dog moved past you to the rear door. He moved silently, hackles up. Unusual. Your training kicked in and you pushed further back into the shadows. Moving closer to the door, you tried to look through the sliver between your blinds out into the darkness of your carport. Something moved, something man height.

You swore internally as you slipped back to you living room and pulled the P320 from the hidden gun case in your console table by the front entry. Slipping your feet into the muck boots by the door, you quietly stepped out into the cold through the front door. You left Gary in the house, knowing that if you yelled for him he would go through the flimsy dog door. Hopefully, it was just a prowler. No need to be sued for a dog bite by someone who was trying to steal your chainsaw.

Peeking around the corner you saw your car door open and the hood up. ‘Good luck, asshole,’ you thought. ‘That thing isn’t going to turn over until the new starter comes by FedEx tomorrow.’

You stayed back far enough that he couldn’t easily turn on you, but close enough to see well. “Don’t want to shoot you…”

He moved so fast, a blur of dark movement rushed toward your face. You fired twice before a hard hit sent your gun flying. Instinct took over. Your foot made contact. You went low and inside, catching a glancing swing on the shoulder. Your elbow smashed into his gut, knocking him back.

His face came into focus. Holy shit, Steve Rogers.

You jumped back, putting your hands up.

He frowned, hard, before a groan of pain escaped his lips and he slipped to ground.

Blood seeped from his torso, from his thigh, and his shoulder. He was already wounded. You stepped a little closer to the man desperately trying to stay sitting up. “What the hell?”

“Dammit.” He muttered just as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground.

Shit. You looked around. There was nothing but darkness. Where the hell did Captain Frickin’ America come from and why was he bleeding out in your carport? Shit. You couldn’t let that happen. Rushing inside, you went for the medical go-bag you kept in the closet.

“Gary, get back.” The dog had slipped out when you came inside, he was sniffing over Rogers. At your order, he sat. “I wish you could help me with this.” You spoke to the dog as you began to cut the material away from his wounds.

With well-practiced precision, you cleaned the wounds and applied trauma dressings. It took effort, but you rolled him over to look for any through and throughs or rear entry wounds. He had one more on his left shoulder.

After stopping that leak, you pulled out an old green canvas tent. There was no way you could carry him, but you couldn’t leave him where he was either. Folding the single person tent into a quick litter you tucked it under his side before rolling him over onto his back.

“Okay, Cap.” You stood up, panting a little. “What to do with you?”

But you already knew the answer. It took a lot of tugging, a lot of swearing, but you finally got him moved into the spare bedroom. At least, to the floor of the spare room. The hardwood floors made it a little easier, but you were sweating by the time you were done.

Going back to get your bag, you were thankful for the supplies. The Captain looked ashen and extremely hypotensive. Cutting open the right sleeve of his uniform, you opened an IV kit and pulled out a bag of saline. Even bleeding out the man had great veins. You hung the bag off the bedpost over his head. He would do better with plasma, but you could at least help a little to get his volume up while you figured out what to do.

Your dog whined from the door. “What do I do, Gary? I shot Cap. It’s not like I can call 911. He’s a fugitive. I’m not going to be the one to turn him in.”

“N’hospital.” He murmured.

“Captain?” You leaned over him. “Can you hear me?”

“No.” His eye opened but didn’t focus. “N’hospitals.”

“Okay. No hospitals. Got it.”

Suddenly Gary bolted for the front window. Someone was coming down the drive.

Remembering your gun, you shut the guest room door and dashed to the back of the house. Cold rain had started pelting down, practically sideways. At least it began to wash away the blood. You grabbed your Sig from the driveway and the bandage wrappers. Stuffing the paper in the trash, you heard the car pull up.

Tucking the cold weapon in to your jeans, you took a deep breath and looked at yourself. The ratty black sweat shirt hid any blood and you’d wiped your hands clean. A knock came at the door. Gary barked, aggressively. He didn’t like whomever was at the door.

Three men in uniforms stood at the door. They looked military, but had no visible insignia. You only opened the door a few inches, but enough to let them see you holding back the big dog.

“What is it?” You asked, not bothering to be friendly.

“Ma’am,” One tipped his head. “We’re going door to door looking for a suspect. Male, six foot one, blond or possibly brown hair.”

“Haven’t seen anyone, but something set my dog off like crazy about an hour ago. I thought it was elk.” Living in the woods, you saw them all the time. “He took off, barking like mad, but came back a few minutes later.”

“So, you haven’t seen anyone?”

“Nope.” Gary gave a growl and you tugged on his collar. “This guy would let me know if anyone were around. He’s not fond of men, as you can see.”

He stared at you a moment longer, before nodding. “Alright, ma’am. If you see anything, do not approach. Just dial 911.”

“Got it. Goodnight.”

As you shut the door, Gary instantly settled down and trotted off down the hall. You watched the men get in the car and leave down your drive. They didn’t stop even when they turned onto the main road at the end of your long drive.

You went back to check on your patient, opening the door slowly. The Captain had slid himself up against the wall and was half sitting up. Looking panicked, cornered, and dangerous, somehow his strength was coming back frightening fast.

“Hey there, Captain.” You said softly. “You okay? I mean, I know you’re hurt, but you’re not going to try and kill me, are you?”

“Who’s here?” His voice cracked.

“Just me.” You opened the door all the way and your dog laid down in the hall.

“No.” He frowned. “I heard, heard you talking to a man.”

“Some men came to the door. I lied and sent them away. It’s just me here.”

He shook his head. “Earlier.”

“I was just talking to my dog, Gary.”

“What?” He focused on you fully, face incredulous. “Who names a dog Gary?”

“An asshat brother with the intent to torment me for the rest of my life.” You knelt down, to be eye to eye with him. He huffed a half laugh. “Did I add to your wounds?”

“Um, don’t think so.” He swallowed and lifted his right arm. “You patch me up?”

“Yeah. It was either that or have you bleed out on my drive. Shitty job trying to steal my car, by the way.”

“Sorry.” His eye drooped. “Why didn’t you call me in?”

“We’re soldiers. You’re THE soldier. There’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.” You moved a little closer. “Any chance you’ve got enough strength to help me get you on the bed?”

“Soldier, huh?”

“Army medic, was anyway.” You came a little close and rearranged his IV line. “Good thing, too. You were banged up. I can’t believe you’re talking to me, actually.”

“I shake it off pretty quick.” He groaned as he tried to sit up. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You carefully helped him up an onto the bed. “I’m gonna take your boots off and cut these bloody clothes away. That okay?”

He laid back, panting, and gave a little nod. As you worked on his boots, he got the pain back under control and watched you. “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

“Near as I can figure I’m harboring a wanted man.” You grinned. “Best to have plausible deniability.”

“Fair enough.” Steve stiffened as you cut your way up his pant leg, getting close to his hip.

“Captain,” You paused. “I’m going to do my best to respect your modesty, but I’ve got to get these off.”

He frowned again, but nodded. You figured casual conversation would set him at ease.

“So,” you started. “Gary seems to like you. He doesn’t like most strangers. Are you a dog person?”

“I love dogs.” His lip curved up. “Never had one of my own, but yeah.”

He groaned as you pulled the remnants of his pants from beneath him. He wore black boxer briefs and you did your very best not admire his muscular thighs as you tucked a quilt around him. “It’s pretty amazing you’re even conscious. Is healing part of the whole super soldier thing?”

“Most times,” He ground his teeth together as you got the pieces of his uniform top off. “Doesn’t mean it isn’t painful, though.”

“I can only imagine. I don’t have anything very strong, but I might have one or two painkillers left from rehab after my last surgery. You’re welcome to them. Or a stiff drink?”

“Won’t help,” he huffed a pained laugh. “It would take more than you have, and I could down a bottle and not get drunk. More of that super soldier stuff.”

“Well, that sucks. Did they hide that disclaimer in the fine print or something?”

He laughed, and winced. “Oh, stop that. It hurts to laugh.”

“Sorry.” You grinned and bundled up his ruined clothes. “Any friendlies going to be looking for you?”

“Not for a couple days.”

You could see him fading fast. “Okay then, you rest. I’m going to get rid of this and bring you something to drink, something to eat too.”

By the time you returned with a large bottle of water, a turkey sandwich, and a pair of pajama bottoms your ex-boyfriend left at your house, the Captain was out cold.

TAGS:

If you want to be added to my tag lists or have your list altered, please message me! Lists are: All, Steve, Bucky, Stucky, Loki and Witcher

@a--1--1--3 / @abschaffer2 / @alexakeyloveloki / @animegirlgeeky

/ @aquariuslavenderhoney / @babygurl8840 / @badassbaker / @buchanansebba / @collette04 / @crystalized-drumming / @deadpoolgirl23 / @dsakita / @lovely-lollipops-blog / @loving-books-is-easier / @meongkitty / @momc95 / @morrighanwytch / @night-cereus / @notyourtypicalrose / @peter-pan-hoe / @rainbowkisses31 / @saiyanprincessswanie / @sexyvixen7 / @sllooney / @smokeandnailz / @a-really-bi-girl / @acf2510 / @asiaaisa77 / @babygurl8840 / @bangtan-serendipity / @beautifullungs / @buchanansebba / @buckybarneshairpullingkink / @buckybarnesplumwhore / @buckysgirl101 / @c-emma098 / @cashewsaremyfavourite / @castiels-majestic-wings / @catthecreator / @coffeebooksandfandom / @daughterofthenight117 / @donutloverxo / @dsakita / @everything-is-awesomesauce / @geeksareunique / @gifsbysimplysonia / @girlmadeofivory / @imma-new-soul / @itsag / @jennmurawski13 / @jesseswartzwelder / @kalesrebellion / @kiki5283 / @lbouvet / @londoncallingbutiwontpickup / @lovely-lollipops-blog / @mcubabydotcom / @messenough / @michelehansel / @milea / @mindtravelsx / @morganhoran1671 / @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines / @patzammit / @peter-pan-hoe / @rainbowkisses31 / @readermia / @rynabarnesrogers-reading / @sammghgecko / @scarlettsoldier / @sebbysstangirl / @sexyvixen7 / @smokeandnailz / @team-iron-wannabe-man / @tenaciousperfectionunknown / @thegetawaywriter / @theneuropsychwriter / @the-omni-princess / @the-reading-octopus / @thorfanficwriter / @unadulteratedwizardlove / @unsaltedalmonds / @vanillabunn21 / @vodka-and-some-sass / @vxidnik / @what-is-your-plan-today / @wildmoonflower / @wwe-fanfiction-queen

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #captain america fic

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penname-artist · 2 years ago

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Three ships: The Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria (haha that's a BOAT JOKE-) Okay but truly: Blade/Nick, Blade/Dusty, those two cars from the wedding in Cars on the Road who were doing them goo-goo eyes. I'll ship it like FedEx.

First ship Ever: UHHHHH Dushani???????? M a y b e ?

Last song: oh, glory- "Memories" by Conan Gray. After "Yours" and also Cam's "Burning House". I was in a mood okay!?

Last movie: Scream 5! Mom and I are binging the series

Currently reading: this post, over and over while I copy these questions. Previously read: a crochet pattern I got lost on; a bunch of AO3 fic summaries I didn't click on; my neverending Discord notifications

Currently watching: my...hands...typing? A-and a YouTube video?

Currently consuming: water bottle *proceeds to shove whole plastic bottle into gob. Slowly.*

Currently craving: those popcorn mixes with chocolate and shit. I love sweet and salty combos hnnng

Hm? Tag, what's that? No my mutuals know that they can just steal from my garbage bins in the alleyway of my blog like raccoon scavengers finding leftover food. They'll find it. Trust me.

Tag game! Tag 9 people you want to get to know better (if you like)

Tagged by @ptork66. Thanks for the tag! 💖

3 ships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, and i’m gonna say Lucy Carlisle/Anthony Lockwood (😞😭😭) and Mare Barrow/Maven Calore

First Ship Ever: idk probably Anne Shirley/Gilbert Blythe as I read the Anne of Green Gables series in 7 and 8th grade. But Kanej trumps all, so

Last Song: according to Spotify, The Alcott by The National ft. Taylor Swift

Last Movie: Shrek 2 but i didn’t finish it bc i was watching it with my brother and he had to go help our dad put up a door for my brother’s room, so we had to pause it… that was last Saturday…

Currently Reading: …. [runs away]

Currently Watching: The Great, season 3!!!!!

Currently Consuming: nothing at the moment, but i did just finish my merienda (a cup of coffee and sweet bread)

Currently Craving: clarity

tagging @lady-a-stuff @frolicking-grandma @totallynots8tan @bigalockwood @do-any-of-you-see-it @loopsbyelle @thegetawaywriter @kakiwrites @tfotaandstuff

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crypticdata · 4 years ago

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Full commentary is here bois

Ok, first. That intro? Literally made me feel like i was watching WrestleMania ngl lmao. (Also Karl just full on simping for Dream like holy shit this guy was 5 seconds away from offering sacrifices to the green man). Also what were those arena names???

Round 1:

I laughed at them just batting each other with fishing poles for a full minute ngl. Dream went straight aggressive and it wasn't a good move considering it was Techno's home field. Pig lord brought it back real fast but Dream did a good with that bow shot knockback to get him off his trail (it just didn't work lmao)

Round 2:

Both of them don't really attack for a few seconds but thats pretty much a staple of 1.16 pvp. Techno tries the crossbow knockback strat but we can clearly see Manhunt Dream just fuckin rise up with his normal aggressive af play style. Like damn, dude had no mercy.

Round 3:

Fishing 2: electric boogaloo lmao. Techno was really playing it safe this round, backing up and letting Dream come to him. Dream, like the psychopath we all know and love, just fucking rushed Techno. Strat seemed to work for a while before Mr. Blade straight up started murdering Dream. Like, holy shit it was so close Techno won by one (1) heart. I actually screamed at end of this and scared my cat lol.

Round 4:

Techno rolling a 3 on intimidation with that log stripping lmao. Dream really tried to play it safe like the Pig man last round but Techno wouldn't give up! Man kept chasing him until he was cornered. The pressure was there and both of them were fairly aggressive this round. Even with the home field disadvantage Techno fucking owned Dream, Poggers dude.

Round 5:

PSYCHOPATH DREAM MAKES A FUCKING COMEBACK HOLY SHIT??? Dude, if Dream was anymore aggressive he would be my mom with a Karen in a parking lot. Techno really tried to get back but the green just wasn't having it. No chance, A pig lead right into the slaughter hot damn.

Round 6:

Psychopath Dream still going strong with that utter obliteration wtf. Only 2 hearts lost??? This man. Techno really tried to go more aggressive but Dream was shielding like a boss dude. Those axe crits probably felt like a punch to the face to the Potato farmer. It was over so fast too. Might've been the fastest round yet.

Round 7:

Fishing strats honestly saved Techno here. That knockback really threw off Dreams groove and Techno just rushed it when he was distracted.That ending was still pretty close tho. Overall stellar match tho!

Round 8:

Techno had a strong lead that round, those crossbow shots definitely did some damage. But Dreams dodge moves and axe crit combo just gave him the comeback of the century holy fuck. i honestly thought Techno had that. Pog to Dream man

Round 9:

You could really feel the pressure this round. If Techno won this, he literally could not lose. You could tell both parties were being extremely careful. Techno fell back everytime he got hit and they fished each other for a pretty long time. Both of them was reluctant to attack first but Techno went full ham the moment both of them started attacking each other like godamn, man was clicking the shit outta his mouse. He switched to full aggressive the moment he was hit. Dream had it for a second but eventually Techno was just too aggressive ig.

Round 10:

THE FINAL ROUND! THE AMOUNT OF SWEATING I DID LIKE IM NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO'S PVPING WTF. Techno back at it again with the log stripping intimidation lol. Dream really went full manhunt mode on this round tbh, hitting Techno and then using the pillars to dodge and weave and try and get the Pig man's weak spot. But he was really screwed when they fully battled it out. Techno just got way too many hits in for Dream to still play as aggressively as he did. It could've worked, but it didn't this time and Techno got the killing blow.

Overall, the match was pretty neck and neck until the very end imo. It was devastating to watch as a Dream stan but i respect Techno for beating him in 1.16. Man deserves the crown he wears.

Also my favorite qoutes because honestly the commentary was 10/10:

"What are you gonna do if you end up losing?" "Im gonna cry"

"You're stealing Karl away from me!"

"I CAN'T GET 10-0ED NOW GUYS!"

"you're gonna drop that crown of yours ok king?" (Karl you fucking simp omg)

"He's been practicing 3 hours a day!" "They made hours that small?"

"How much health did he have?" "Uh- full, don't even worry about it" "BS"

"the most riveting gameplay in the world: fishing!"

"I DIDN'T GO TO FEDEX THIS MORNING TO GET THIS SHIRT FOR NOTHING!"

"I can only get 8-2ed now! POOOG!"

"Dreams one of the best players in the world, where is this coming from??" "Im not half bad myself" "l-l mean i can tell!"

"THATS MY DREAM!!"

"how much health was he on?" "He had 1 heart" "bruhhhhhh"

"It's now tied up again" "tied is good!" "I like ties"

"i just praised jesus and I'm not even a christian thats how happy i am"

"Give Techno a pep talk, let him know we're ready" "He doesn't need it but I'll do it anyway" (Chris out here being the hardest Techno stan)

"its only a 100 grand, don't be too sad" "Thank you- thank you Chandler"

"Techno is currently in the lead, can Dream tie it up again?" "Nooo, he can't"

"HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING (x3)"

"i think i broke my mic stand"

"10s of 1000s of Dream stans are watching from across the world" "Yes we are!" (Karl jfc control your simpness lmao)

"KARLS SUCH A TIER 3 SIMP OH MY GOD" (You said it Chris)

"If he wins this, it's atleast a tie for him. I don't want him to be that happy, i want you to be that happy"

"im so nervous im about to poop my pants"

"I used the rod I just had to remember Calvin's teachins"

"All i have to do is not get owned by Dream's epic axe crits"

"If you win the next one, 100 grand is being deposited into your bank account" "gasps that's atleast 12 pizzas!"

"Lets let the axes speak for theirselves"

"TECHNOBLADE YOU ANIMAL"

"lets be honest i thought i was gonna lose not gonna lie" (Techno out here with that low self-esteem)

"No beef" "I- no, i hate Techno, i hate him so much" "OH I HATE THAT GUY"

#dreamwastaken #technoblade #1v1 #mrbeast #i had to re watch the video 3 times to make this lmao

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myaekingheart · 4 years ago

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some highlights from the last two weeks

waking up with a super heavy sinking feeling in your stomach knowing your fiance is going to say he thinks his lung has collapsed again.

“you’re going to give yourself the covid test” ... “you may have stuck that a little too far up your nose.” “at least it’s well saturated with my snot.”

a full doctor’s appointment...in the fucking parking lot.

“how is school going?” “oh no i graduated” “oh, what college are you going to?” “no, i graduated college. i’m 23. i have a bachelor’s degree” “oh...well, you’ll certainly be carded for a long time!”

hearing a man talk about his toe fungus in the next triage room over at the er

hospital blankets fresh out of the blanket oven

“i know it’s a little cold in here!” it is 95 degrees outside the AC blasted feels fucking heavenly wtf are you talking about

the “nacho problem” t-shirt

“*holds up piece of pasta to my fiance* Lady and the Tramp?” “I can’t believe you just called me a tramp!” “what??? No!! I meant like the movie!!”

“Can’t believe you called me a tramp” “Maybe you’re the lady” “Did you just call your daughter a tramp?!” “Well you’ve gotta be one or the other!” “STOP” “I didn’t say anything”

the fluff harvest is very bountiful this year

october swimming

“he’s trying to save you. he thinks you’re drowning” “he just likes the taste of the pool water” as the dog licked the entirety of my father’s head in the pool

window dancing

“my god they line dance to fucking everything”

“HANDS TOUCHING HANDS REACHING OUT TOUCHING ME TOUCHING YOU” “*rubs nipples in the middle of a crowded bar*”

“we don’t go out a lot” “so what do you guys do then?” “we breathe. sometimes in, sometimes out.” “are you breathing back and forth at each other right now?”

“occasionally we nap.”

another table at the bar running a bet that i was, in fact, there with my mother in law and all of them thinking i was 16, only to find out from my mother in law when they flagged her down to ask about it that i am in fact engaged, 23, and have a bachelor’s degree.

“YOU HAVE A BACHELOR’S DEGREE?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!”

the look on their faces was priceless

headbanging in the middle of a bar to zombie by the cranberries

very strong rum and cokes

“are you going to dye your hair like that? i can take you someplace to get it done if you want to dye your hair like that”

having no useable water whatsoever at my apartment

the grocery store fucking us over on bottled water

the chinese takeout place forgetting an entire order

nearly getting shoved off the highway by a semi truck

my mom getting her stuff thrown into the hallway and then nearly kicked out for “trespassing” because she got exiled from her hotel room

“please just let me in there to get the rest of my stuff” “you’re not on the reservation, you’re trespassing” “then call the local sheriff’s department because i’d like to report a theft” “what room number was that again?”

picking her up, not getting home until 4am, my dad having to leave for a 12hr shift at 5am

nearly punching a hole in the wall

“at least i have a job!” “i have a job!” “no you don’t you’re a kardashian bitch”

“yeah she has a job she’s a whore” “that was too savage” “i thought i was being kind”

“drunk whore-ass cuntwagon slut”

“you didn’t know i knew that word, did you?” “well, you are an adult now” “does that make you uncomfortable, hearing me talk like that?” “no. it makes me want to curse, too. FUCK.”

“are you a first-time voter?” “NOOOOOONONONONONONONONO absolutely not”

“i know this isn’t the music you normally listen to, i hope that’s okay” “oh no don’t worry it’s fine, there’s no way in hell i’d make you listen to my music” *five minutes later: phone rings, they have no reflections by bmth starts blaring* “WHAT THE HELL--” “...whoops.”

paint party

“ahhh there’s the alligator!” “HOLY SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS?” “no i’m just fucking with you x’D” “...don’t do that.”

charlie brown

“GET IN BETWEEN THE TOES!”

calling my mother at work because i can’t find the chocolate

my dog convincing me to take him on a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood. twice. in high heat + humidity.

not being able to get ahold of my father all day

thinking my father was dead

my father coming home from work at 10am with surprise! a broken rib!

the party uber

*very slowly eating my sandwich* “slow down, you’re eating too fast!”

*taking very small bites of my sandwich* “you’re eating like a little bird! do you want me to chew that up for you? like how birds feed their young?” “...no thank you”

my uncle in law stealing all of my french fries

finally beating lvl 1 of ms pac-man

almost hurling in a bar trash can

scrapple

my mom accidentally answering the door for the fedex guy in nothing but an old bath towel

“NUDIST!!!”

coming home to surprise hardcore spooky decorating in my living room

slipping on a wet floor and landing on my ass

restaurant never receiving our dinner order so we had to wait an extra hour

hellfire sky

spending a total of 20 hours in a car in under two weeks

10 of those being less than 24 hours apart

constant sleep deprivation, anxiety, and chronic illness flare-ups

#i need a nap lmfao #ramblings

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alleiradayne · 5 years ago

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An Update

It’s been a millennia since I wrote anything. I know I don’t owe anyone any writing (technically, I do, but that’s a different story, no pun intended). But I wanted to keep my followers in the know.

I have been up to my eyeballs in the dumbest fucking shit lately and I’m not even talking about COVID-19. My work sucks. The only good thing about it is that my team, the immediate people I work with on the regular, are awesome. But I need to get out soon. The actual work itself is fucking soul-sucking and I hate it. I get very little downtime, which is a major contributor to why I haven’t written much lately. Not because I don’t have the free time at work like I used to, but because I don’t have the mental, emotional, creative, or physical energy to commit to writing when I get home.

My daughter is 16 months old. That’s all I need to say about her (she’s wonderful, but a handful).

I’ve been reading way more lately in an effort to relieve stress.

God damn Minecraft.

I had sinus surgery in December and while the recovery was short, the surgery did not achieve the intended results. I still have major allergy symptoms without being allergic to anything. I was sick with sinus infections for the better part of two months and was only finally feeling sort of back to normal before right before I went to Vegas. Now I’m dealing with severe seasonal allergies after the snow melted here.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What has really irritated me lately is this pile of bullshit:

Google as the monolith it is shouldn’t fucking exist. It’s too convenient to get embedded in all their services such that, when one of them breaks, you’re cut off from all of their services. This story is long and convoluted. I’ll do my best to keep it succinct (I’ve already failed, I know).

Back in January, my primary Google account was compromised. After piecing together the crazy puzzle of what happened, I determined that someone obtained my Google account password, logged into the Google Store with it, and made two fraudulent purchases using two different payment methods (PayPal and my credit card, both of which were saved to my Google Pay profile under this primary email account) equaling a very large sum of money (like $4k).

My credit card company, bless their corrupt little souls, texted me immediately about the VERY expensive charge for the second order and I freaked out. I didn’t get any emails confirming these orders because the fuckers that hacked my Google account (I suspect Google had a data breach because they skipped all two-factor authentication I had enabled and I never received any notification of my account being accessed like I normally do) put a filter on my Gmail inbox to mark all Google Store emails as Opened (or Read) and to immediately toss them into the trash. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.

I immediately resolved these fraudulent charges with disputes. They never even hit my credit card (which was canceled and I was issued a new one) or my bank account (PayPal). Google, however, sucks at this shit. The first purchase was made at 4:30 AM. I never saw it until later that night. Once an hour has passed after a purchase has been made from Google’s store, they cannot cancel it. How fucking ridiculous is that?

So Google Support said to just refuse the FedEx packages. I rerouted them to a FedEx drop location because I didn’t want anyone to steal them off my front step (because that’s what I suspected the scam was all along, why else have them delivered them to my fucking house?) The first package arrived, I went to the drop location which was a Walgreen's, and I told the cashier that I needed to refuse the package and have FedEx return it to the sender. I said this several times to the person helping me. But then she had me sign the FedEx scanner and when I went to leave, she pushed the box to me and said, “You don’t want it?”

It gets worse.

While I felt dumb for signing for the package, when the second package came in the next day, I also signed their scanner but it was to actually refuse the package. I don’t know why that’s how it worked, but it did.

Package 1: Accepted. Package 2: Refused.

This is important.

During this time, my Google Pay profile under my primary Google account was placed on a temporary freeze. But on February 10th, once everything had been returned (FedEx managed to get the first package returned, I have the tracking numbers, it made it), my Pay profile had been reactivated.

Which was really great because my Play Music and HBO subscriptions had lapsed. So I immediately renewed them.

Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

I tried buying a movie before I flew to Vegas and got a very similar error that I’d seen previously when my account had originally been frozen at the end of January due to the fraudulent charges.

Through several Support chats and getting the run around, I come to find that my Pay profile has been permanently closed because I violated the Google Pay Terms of Service. And that Google’s policy is to not discuss the details of the issue with anyone. And I cannot close that Pay profile and create a new one under that same Google account because it’ll just get flagged and closed again.

While pissed, I resolved to fix it after Vegas because I didn’t have the capacity to handle it while prepping for that trip.

I get back and the problem still exists. A part of me hoped it would just go away. So over the last week I went back and forth with Google Pay support on what the fuck is going on with my pay account. Several times they repeated the same thing to me: account is closed due to violation of ToS, can’t discuss it with you per our policy. Great.

During that time, I noticed that I had like, $200 worth of Google Store credit on my account because of the packages I had unintentionally accepted (I had previously signed up for Google One so I could offload some storage to their cloud, and as a part of that Google One sub, they offer a percent of Google Store purchases as Google Store credit). So I wanted to see if I could actually use it. I kinda figured they’d take the $200 back seeing as that the charge never processed. When I tried to buy something, I finally got an error that said my Pay profile had been closed for violating the ToS.

The Narrator: Can you put that in a folder and label it “Shit I Already Know”?

I filed a complaint with the Attorney General of Minnesota because Google was not allowing me to do anything to resolve the issue. Every email response I sent was met with a similar response of “we’ve reviewed your account and we’ve determined it must remain closed”. I went Full Karen™ on Google Pay support and threatened them with legal action if they did not tell me what the fuck I did to violate their ToS. That was last Thursday.

After a few more emails over the weekend (only like, two), I suddenly received a response at 6am today stating that my Google Pay profile had been reactivated.

I resubscribed to HBO and Play Music without issue. (I did, however, create another mess with Google Family sharing, but that’s a different story, although very much related to and caused by this one, and I won’t get into it here).

When I checked my Pay profile, the $200 in Google Store credit had been removed. I think they finally checked the tracking numbers on those two orders that I sent back and realized I had actually sent them back instead of defrauding them by making a purchasing, rejecting the charge, keeping the package, and pocketing the $200 in-store credit like they probably assumed.

I also think Google might have a big data breach mess on their hands right now. Change your passwords regularly folks!

TLDR: I’m tired. :)

#personal #ranting

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yumkinspuffs · 5 years ago

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Prank meister YYH

Prankster Yusuke ,is one of the many reasons why he is called a delinquent. Let's just go down the very long list of things that got him spanked as a kid

Gum day: Yusuke went out of his way to put gum in every single girls hair(excluding keiko of course)on the last day of school. Plenty of tears and shouts of angry parents followed. His mom made sure her little dumbass never owned gum for the following 3 years.

Skunk run: Yusuke your favorite little shit. Decided to take them time to find a sleeping skunk( and very carefully) laid it in a store that banned him since they accused him of stealing( which may or may not have been correct) .Don't ask me how tf he walked a few miles, and managed to carry a sleeping skunk all the way back without waking it. The store definitely lost a shit ton of customers. Due to the fact it smelt worst than shit and some customers had the unpleasant feeling of being sprayed. His mother was called, yet again. Yusuke had his ass handed to him by his lovely mom with a large paddle.

Delivery man door dash: Yusuke travelled a total of 35 miles by jumping onto the back of a FedEx truck. He threw rotten food at every door step he could . The driver didn't notice him until his last stop,and Yusuke couldn't have jump off earlier. If yusuke jumped he would have been hit by a car (which seems to be a common way for him to die) or gotten road rash from hell. The delivery man decided to take him all the way back home. Just to tell Yusuke's parents they were doing a horrible job, and to keep their brat off his truck. However seeing the very hot and single mom, he ended up saying nothing but kind words. Unfortunately for Yusuke , the two ended up dating for 4 months. Yusuke hates FedEx trucks now.

This was fun let me know if your interested in anymore pranking genius

#yyh #anime #yusuke #summer #funny pranks #trouble maker #mom #dating #hitch hiking #skunks #headcannons #crackhead #ask fandomtrash

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marshmarrowsans · 6 years ago

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Sans/Reader: Kiss the Cook!

Last-minute cute family drabble before the event ends!! AO3 Link

Sans was a natural at many of the qualities that made a good and stereotypical father. He was a major couch potato. He was very lax about spoiling the kids. He was way too attached to his motorcycle. He didn’t even have to work on his dad bod. And the terrible dad jokes came to him just as naturally. So what kind of dad would Sans be if he didn’t know how to fry up mediocre burgers and other meats on an outdoor grill? In all seriousness, though, your husband could be a decent cook when he tried. You were hungry and so looking forward to chowing down on one of those burgers. Apparently so was your son Sitka, because he was slinking up behind his dad, ketchup bottle in his hands, like a squirrel trying to steal chips from a picnic. “hey kiddo,” your husband warned him without even looking his way, “don’t get too close to the grill, ok? it’s hot.” There had once been a time in your life that you thought skeletons were incapable of pouting. Your son proved you wrong about that every day. “I wanna burger! With lots of sauce! When do we put the sauce on?” “i like your style. but we’re supposed to use barbecue sauce.” Sitka looked down at the bottle, then back up at his dad. “But this stuff is so much better!” “i knowww, right? but it’s three against two. right, gals?” You had one arm around Lucida and one arm around Destiny as the three of you sat at the nearby picnic table. Both girls nodded vigorously. “I don’t even LIKE ketchup!” Destiny piped up. “mmmhmm. that’s ‘cause you’re the milkman’s daughter.” You almost choked on your soda. “Sans! Don’t joke about that! Besides. Milkmen haven’t been a thing since my parents were kids.” “dang, you’re right. destiny, you’re the fedex delivery guy’s daughter.” At least the joke seemed to go over her head, despite her being the oldest of your children. She just looked confused. “Sans. You’re confusing the children.” You gave Destiny a kiss on the head and gently explained, “He’s joking. He’s saying you can’t be related since you didn’t inherit his love for ketchup.” “it’s a dominant gene and i’m homozygous for it. do the math.” “What does THAT mean?” Now your daughter was even more confused. “they’ll teach ya in school. seventh grade or so, i think. unless you want me to give you a scientific rundown right now, forget all about the burgers and burn ‘em to a crisp.” Speaking of which, they were just about done. Well-done, to be exact. You preferred closer to medium or medium-rare, but Sans never took any risks with the kids. He made sure to cook the shit out of any potential bacteria in that meat. “okay, sitka. you can pass me the bbq sauce now.” “… I still think we should try it with ketchup instead sometime…” “maybe sometime when it’s just the two of us ketchup-guzzling gremlins.” Sans poured the correct sauce over the barbecued meats and let them cook for just a little longer to let the flavor soak in without making the brown sugar in it char. In the meantime, he gave you a cheesy grin and motioned for you to come over to him. “c’mon, babe. you know the tradition.” You approached him, smiling down at him and slipping your hands in his. “And what tradition is that, my love?” “read the apron.” Clearly printed on it were the words, ‘Kiss the Cook!’ “i borrowed it from papyrus.” “I know you did. It’s practically dragging on the ground from how big it is on you.” Regardless, you wrapped your arms around his waist and gave him slow, gentle kiss. “Mmmwah. How was that?” “mmm. well, that was just one kiss. and i did cook five burgers, one for each of us…” You were about to fulfill his request, but Sitka got to it first. He threw his arm around his dad’s shoulders and clacked his teeth against his dad’s cheek. Seeing the pattern here, your two daughters also joined in on the fun. You took a step back to let your three kids totally dogpile their dad with love and kisses. You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his surprised laughter and his exclamation of “ah, i love you all bunches!” You knew this family barbecue had been a good idea.

#sans #sans the skeleton #sans/reader #sans x reader #monstersummermash #undertale #established relationship #married with kids

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latinkilledtheromans · 6 years ago

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The Saga of the HelloFresh Box

Okay, so a while back, my friend @rolodextra was like “oh hey I’ve got a coupon code for half off two boxes from HelloFresh, you want it?” And I’m like, yeah, sure, I’m lazy, I hate having to come up with food for the week, hit me up.

So I placed the order for the first box, and it’s supposed to arrive on Saturday. I actually happened to wake up on time on Saturday for once instead of sleeping until noon, so I was awake when the delivery guy came.

So I heard a knock on the door and went right away and opened it. And as soon as I looked outside, I saw this sad, soggy box. Like ... it looked wet on the bottom, and it was starting to cave in on itself.

That was setting off serious alarm bells in my head.

I dragged the box inside and opened it up right away. It was ... room temperature inside the box. To call it cool would be generous. I took all the vegetables out and put them in the fridge, and then got down to the bottom of the box, which has a double layer of freezer packs with the meat/seafood layered in between.

The freezer packs were completely melted (and the condensation had made the box wet and soggy, soaking through the layer of insulation). I did not trust any of the protein, since I didn’t know how long it had been not cold, so I ended up getting rid of it, and buying all new protein from the grocery store.

I contacted HelloFresh to let them know that I had issues with my box, and they were very courteous, responded right away, and gave me a credit for a full free box.

I decided to order the second box, and was kinda upset when I got an email from Paypal! Saying that they had been charged for my HelloFresh box! So they got an email from me being like, hey what’s up? This was supposed to be free.

Well, apparently promos are used before credits. So since I still had one box of the original “half off two boxes” promo left, they used that and charged me half price, instead of using the credit for a free box (or using a promo and half the credit and saving half the credit for later? I don’t understand). Well, they were able to refund the charge and use the credit instead, so we got that figured out.

But by this point, I was starting to get frustrated with HelloFresh. I was pretty sure I was going to cancel once I got this second (free!) box.

On Friday, September 7th, I got an email that my HelloFresh box was on its way. It was scheduled to be delivered on Saturday. I immediately decided to track the package cause I’m an impatient little goblin. Imagine my surprise when the tracking info said that it would be delivered on Tuesday, September 11th.

So ... tracking isn’t always right, right? So I waited, hoping that it would be delivered on time. It wasn’t.

Now, remember: when delivered on time, my box arrived soggy and melted and I couldn’t eat any of the meat. So how would it be if it was another three days late?

According to the USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service website, fresh fish can be kept in the fridge for 1-2 days. Ground beef can be kept for 1-2 days. And chicken or turkey can be kept for 1-2 days.

My box contains salmon, ground beef, and chicken breasts.

According to the tracking info on the FedEx website, the shipping info about my box was sent to FedEx on Wednesday at about 6am. That’s when they knew they were going to be sending a box out.

FedEx picked up my box at midnight on Thursday (aka, Wednesday night). So this box has been packed since Wednesday. At this point, even if it had arrived on Saturday, it really would have been pushing the limit for food safety guidelines. A point to consider for anyone looking at any meal delivery service. Freeze the proteins you aren’t going to eat right away!

Well, my box didn’t arrive on Saturday, did it? No, it’s supposed to arrive on Tuesday! No one in their right mind is going to eat those! It’s going to be a festering cesspool of foodborne pathogens just waiting to get into my delicate tummy! My tummy gets upset if I even look at pictures of food I’m not touching this nonsense!

So Tuesday morning rolls around. And I get an email that my box has been delivered to my apartment. It’s at my front door! It’s 9:30 in the morning.

That’s great. Except for the fact that both of my coworkers were out sick so I couldn’t leave the office at all and I had to stay at work until 5:00. If I could have, I would have run home and checked the box right away. But I couldn’t.

My husband makes it home before me. I get a text: “Did you stop by the apartment today?”

“No. Why? Is there no box?”

There was no box.

So when I got home and confirmed that indeed, there was no box at our door, or at any of our neighbors (you never know), or at our back door (you can’t even drive up to it, but YOU NEVER KNOW), and confirmed with the tracking that the box “was delivered” several times, I called FedEx, where I was cheerfully informed that my box had been delivered.

I told them that I definitely don’t have it, so ??? and they agreed to open a claim for me to look into where my box is.

Side note: a couple of months ago, I had ordered some wedding favors, and the USPS told me that the box had been delivered and swore up and down it was delivered and they’ve got GPS tracking on all the boxes so they know it was dropped off, and basically accused me of lying to them, only to finally decide that it must have been stolen and send me off to go get a refund from Amazon and reorder these favors. Then the box got suddenly delivered a week later.

So I’m not the most trusting when someone tells me that a box “was definitely delivered to your front door.”

So we have a couple of options here. Either FedEx is lying to me, and they lost my package or for whatever reason decided not to deliver it.

OR they did truthfully, successfully deliver my box on Tuesday, only to have someone in my apartment complex see a HelloFresh box and decide to steal it.

Now. If you stole a box from HelloFresh from someone. And you opened it up. And this box is melted. It’s got fish and meat that’s been sitting at room temperature for a week. (Uh, I live in the South, trucks will get hot, that shit might be fucking cooked by now.) It’s going to be rancid and nasty as fuck.

What do you do? Would you just throw it out? Try to salvage the potatoes? That’s what I was planning on doing.

Like, what do I have to do to find out where my box is?

On a related note, I will be cancelling my HelloFresh account. I’m just waiting to hear back from them about my last email that I sent this morning.

Also, a friend gave me a coupon code for Plated, so we’ll see how that goes.

#HelloFresh

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areyoureadingthis8 · 4 years ago

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To all the tears I’ve cried in 2020

2020 What a dumpster fire eh?

I want to start off by acknowledging that we’ve ALL had a shitty year. I don’t think I’m special, I just like it when people don’t pretend to be something they are not.

I don’t know where to start and what to leave in and leave out at this point so let’s start from the beginning and you can trapse with me through the sewer that is 2020.

New Years Eve 2019-

After a horrid couple months of our baby being sick and almost dying Matt and I treated ourselves to a night out. We started off at Little Miss Brewing and then went to The Grand, where we originally met. We enjoyed the loud music, jello shots and a midnight kiss.

New Years day we took Shiva to Lake Murray.

January

My coworker and I joked that there would be a plague since historically that seems to be what happens every 100 years. As Dwight from The Office would say “I state my regret”.

There also came a day where there was an active shooter outside my work. Our building went on lockdown but for only about 15 minutes. Being in that type of situation really makes you look at things. It’s enough to say I was scared and blessed that it didn’t escalate any further then it did. Only one person died that day, I’ll let you speculate who.

March

You know what happens next.

Shit hit the fan. Everyone flipped the fuck out.

At my work, once HR said okay let’s get everyone working remote and home safe people grabbed their desktop workstations off their desk and ran out of the building. It looked like a bomb went off in the office. They took it home and then called the helpdesk asking why it wouldn’t work.

The experience was rather unsettling, and one I don't care to relive.

Matt’s clinic went into disarray with yells of “coronavirus!”. For the first couple weeks they didn’t have access to any tests then later rationed 10 tests. Person number one came in, fresh back from Spain, fever, cough, shortness of breath. Matt was scared but also kind of excited. They gathered all their PPE , strapped up and went in.

Matt’s phone rang about every 5 minutes between calls from his boss, his boss’s boss, Corporate, and HR. Full on crisis mode activated. It was only a couple days before all the PPE was gone.

April

Depression, devastation, drinking and TikTok lol.

We still didn’t know how serious Covid was but l prefer to err on the side of caution. It’s not like we could go anywhere anyways.. Since we were both essential workers our day to day didn’t change much. At my work we got most everyone on laptops and completely remote. I would FedEx hardware components where needed, and when things got stressful I would look out the window at the 805 at the same view I had for the last year. The cars still buzzed around doing whatever it was they were doing.

May

The parks opened back up. We were able to get Shiva out again.

I still didn’t know anybody that gotten covid.

There was a lot of noise now about masks, freedom, and that covid was bullshit.

People got bored with the lockdowns and closures.

My dad is a hard conspiracy theorist so I always had it in the back of my mind that there is something else going on here. Trying not to get too far down the rabbit hole; I had told myself “ I’ll know it for sure when I see it.”

That day came in late May.

I was at work and then all the sudden social media blew up.

There was a police officer with his knee to a man's neck. He killed him.

My first reaction “that’s fucked up”. Then I froze. I watched the police officers' expressions.

There was nothing behind their eyes. They almost seemed amused with themselves.

Deep state got George Floyd that day. Still at my desk it was like I blinked and I saw it. I saw cities burning, cias, death, and destruction all before it happened.

Our government publicly executed this man with the intent of starting a race war and even encouraged people to go out and protest in the middle of the so-called pandemic.

One could only assume they wanted more people to get covid and die but that’s not what happened. Despite the rioting and the protests, it didn’t seem to drive up the case rate.

About 3 weeks in, more people like myself who were on the fence were now convinced and ready to call our government’s bluff. You lied to us fuckers. You lied, locked us down, and destroyed our economy. You killed a man for sport. I have no problem saying I hope every politician and elitist burns in hell for all of it. Time for the sheep to wake up.

Summer

I took to using my platform to express my disdain. Shocker, people don’t like conspiracy theorists. They can’t handle it. They prefer to live in a world where everything is peachy and their government is good. Believe me when I say it’s not like I want any of these horrible things to happen, but i think it’s important to be open and prepared for the worst. Still I’d have people comment “how sad” I am. Really? Well I think you’re sad for being so closed minded and not opening your eyes to what is right in front of you. They aren’t even hiding it, and yet you defend them.

On a lighter note, we got Shiva a stroller to get around better.

My 40th birthday consisted of a beach trip, take out mexican food and mojitos.

October

We’re now to that part of the story.

We celebrated the anniversary of Shiva throwing up all that blood with a trip to Lake Murray. We had taken her to the hospital that night expecting to have her put down but somehow fate intervened. The anomaly was never explained but Matt I believe Shiva knew she was on her way out and she wanted to prepare us. She was trying to say “Mom, Dad, I’m going to have to leave you soon and I need to know you’ll be okay” because that’s the kind of dog she was.

The last year had not been easy though. Our schedules pretty much revolved around Shiva and her care; Matt left early in the morning for work, and I would leave closer to 9-9:30. We took turns watching her on a house camera from our phones. Matt would get home earlier to be with her and so on. Looking at Shiva in the moment, I could see that she wanted to be here with us but her body was failing, she was tired.

Shiva began to have episodes of coughing and pacing at night. Her lungs were filling with fluid. The lasix and the diuretics were no longer working on her. She was officially in the danger zone, at risk for heart attack, stroke, and assfixation.

I’m grateful I got to spend her last four days with her.

We had one last consultation. Shiva was slowly suffocating to death and there was nothing that anyone could do about it.

On that last day we pushed her on her stroller for a few hours at Liberty Station. She had steak and eggs and then one of the nicest guys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting came over and did the deed. She closed her eyes and gave us one last famous Shiva smile.

Such an anti-climatic end to this chapter in our lives.

November

Eight months later now Covid is hitting. Suspicious much? Matt’s clinic went into disarray again as he started going to the county facilities twice a week to test.

We went to Arizona for Thanksgiving; had a nice dinner , went for a hike and a walk around the lake.

December

More covid. I know quite a few people that have gotten sick.

No one knows what the future holds. I hope none of these theories come true but we have to be prepared for the worst . When I get dark Matt tells me not to worry “For every beginning there is an end, and to every end there is a beginning” and that part I’m sure about.

2020 definitely made me realize I didn't have enough appreciation for the little things before.

To steal Pam’s last line from The Office “There’s beauty in ordinary things.”

And now it’s New Years Eve

We were outside our house , getting ready to go to Little Miss Brewing when Matt saw a loose dog running up and down our street. We gave him his space in case he runner. Matt called him over “come here boy”. He came right over. He followed us. He came inside the house without hesitation. Such a sweet dog. I have posted in multiple groups. His picture has been shared a 100 times tonight already. Waiting to see and hear if we find the owner. Call me kookie, but I have no doubt Shiva sent him here. Whether it be just for the night so he has shelter or chance at something else.

Wishing better things for all us in 2021!

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rambles-n-tumbles · 7 years ago

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Tying Loose Ends

Fandom: BTS

Pairings: OT7

Genre: Adventure, Heist AU

Word Count: 3,469

Summary: The Heist AU no one asked for but I sure needed. Seokjin, Jimin, and Yoongi go in. Jungkook and Namjoon make sure they get out. Taehyung and Hoseok make sure no one remembers their names.

"Now I know he was being a dick, but did you really have to sedate him, Yoongi?"

Seokjin didn't hear a response, which meant the man in question was most likely rolling his eyes behind his back. Typical. He felt a remark coming up his throat but bit it back, instead focusing on the unconscious man currently dangling from an office chair. He supposed this would make transit easier, but that wasn't always a good thing, either. Sighing, he glanced at the third conscious man in the room, silently hoping to hear a vocal response from someone in the next five minutes.

"Jimin, have you heard from Joon?" Pink hair swung as Jimin turned away from a computer, hand pressed against his ear as his eyes locked on Seokjin's for a second.

"No, but JK says he's already moving into position, so he should be making a scene in a second." Relieved, Seokjin shrugged the man from his chair into a box Yoongi tugged upstairs. Stolen from the UPS guy, Seokjin smirked. He wouldn't miss it too much.

"Five minutes."

Yoongi rearranged his gloves, wiping down the chair the unconscious man previously occupied, making sure not to leave anything uncleaned. He was scarily accurate with these things, and Seokjin had to admire it in the smaller man. If anything, he knew it was safer having him on their side rather than hoping the 'Sugar of the Streets' wouldn't lace his drinks tonight. But then Yoongi groaned at fingernail clippings on the ground and suddenly Seokjin felt the affection cease.

"Jeez, would it kill him to toss his trash where it belongs? What is it with old business men and being corrupt and gross." Jimin bit back a laugh as Seokjin placed the box where it belonged on the roller, waiting for its delivery man to take him home. And return home you shall, Mister Yang.

"I'm in, JK, download them now." Jimin rolled his eyes at the sassy response he undoubtedly received from the other end of the ear piece, instead of responding chooses to tug it out and let the cable hang off his shirt collar as he faced Seokjin. "Why does he hate me so much, gosh."

"He doesn't hate you, he's doing his job." Seokjin patted the younger man on his pink head, watching the files slowly disappear from the computer screen. Their youngest was sassy and had a terrible habit of bragging, but at least he could back it up with proof.

"HYUNG!" A voice chirped from the forgotten ear piece as Jimin jumped before pressing it back in place, affirming his presence when a knocking came from the office door. They immediately stopped moving as Yoongi, being the closest, grunted in the direction of the knocking.

"Yes?" Grimacing at the roughness of his voice, they all held their breath as the voice behind the door called back.

"I heard you needed a package sent, love?" Sighing in relief, Yoongi swung the door open to reveal a grinning man in rose tinted hair and a smile too bright for a man in a baggy brown delivery outfit.

"Hoseok you nearly made me shit my pants what the fuck." Hoseok laughed, waltzing in the room as he gripped the roller handles and balanced the package easily.

"Would you have preferred me to just walk in without knocking?" Jimin slammed the laptop shut, mumbling at the echoing voice in his ear as Seokjin just shook his head.

"We might've shot you if you had." Hoseok nodded, a grim expression falling on his features, Yoongi double checking the spot the package previously occupied for stains.

"Which is why I knocked, hyung." Winking, Hoseok tugged the package out of the room with ease, Yoongi shutting the door behind him. Locking eyes with Seokjin, wordlessly they began retracing steps from the room, wiping down surfaces and packing their things. Pleased with the environment, they began packing their things away, Yoongi checking his watch.

"2 minutes 'til reactivation. Let's move." Yoongi moved to open the door, but at the sight of bodyguards approaching swung it shut again. "Alright, not through there."

"What?" Seokjin reattached his backpack -a small thing really, just the essentials- as Yoongi paled, sliding a finger across his neck before he turned to Jimin.

"JK, we have company. Gimme an out."

Finding a UPS man was simple any day of the week, but of course on the day that Hoseok wanted to take one's outfit the town decided to cease online purchasing. He scrolled through security cameras for this neighborhood four times and still, nothing but a FedEx truck, and lord knew Hoseok wasn't wearing navy in this weather. The sun was too hot and humidity too high for him to tolerate it for a second. Sighing, he resolved to check the main road once more before agreeing to maybe pay a visit to a costume store. Surely they wouldn't notice the difference, right?

"Hobi?" Turning, his resolve turned to glee as he was face to face with the dirty brown uniform of-

"Taehyungie, where did you find this?!" Bouncing from his chair, Hoseok gripped the grinning man by the shoulders.

"I ordered a teapot last week and made sure they would deliver by last night. Y'know, backup." Hoseok inspected the uniform, noting the size wouldn't be perfect -he was a bit thinner but it would still fit- when he realized it wasn't last night anymore and-

"Taehyungie, where is the delivery man this belongs to?" Tae's smile faltered slightly as he shifted his weight to his right foot. Lies incoming.

"Fine, I think." Shoulders falling, Hoseok was reminded that there was a reason the two of them were inside men and not workers. There was a reason they kept their hands clean, and only one of them was because of their terrible lying skills.

"Tae." The younger threw his arms up before Hoseok could say anymore and began rattling off without really saying anything. Before he could panic, Hoseok grabbed his cheeks and made him take a breath. Once his breathing was regulated, Hoseok tried again. "Now, where is the man?"

"Asleep in my bed," Hoseok smirked at the younger man, patting his shoulder approvingly.

"Nicely done, sex and an outfit. I'm proud of you, Tae."

"Oh no, I didn't do him. I knocked him out. There might be blood on the collar."

"Fuck."

"Now, there should be a staircase to your left. Make sure to go up both flights, any less and you're in a storage closet." Jungkook tried to ignore the grunting behind him as he read through the blueprints once more, memorizing the layout as Jimin repeated surroundings to his ear. He knew Namjoon was trying to hot wire a car behind him, but he hoped his hyung would've remembered what wires he needed to connect before he-

"SONOFA-" Jungkook momentarily muted his headpiece, letting his elder stick his electrocuted finger in his mouth like a toddler. Shaking his head, he let his hands type out a series of numbers before reactivating the headpiece and letting Jimin lead the team down a corridor. "Alarm systems off, you have fifteen minutes. One piece, still responsive and once you've got the computer let me know. I'll break in and get what I need before hyung hurts himself again."

"Again? Is he still hot wiring the car?" Jimin scoffed on the other side of the headpiece, Jungkook grunting in agreement before spinning his chair to lock eyes with the glaring man beside the car.

"I hurt myself because the stupid car doesn't want to run." Jungkook raised an eyebrow, watching a man with lavender hair kick the side of a white minivan, and it took a lot in Jungkook to not burst into laughter at the mere sight of it all. Rising from his chair, he nodded at his elder, Namjoon still glaring but now relocating his line of fire at the vehicle. Crawling into the front seat, he quickly spotted the problem.

"Hyung." Namjoon stopped his staring contest to hum in response to the younger.

"Yes?" Jungkook tried to keep a straight face as he locked eyes with his elder, his superior. The man who taught him how to be who he is, the man who engraved pride and respect and decency into his very core.

The man who didn't strip the wires properly and attached them incorrectly.

"Simple mistake. It should-" The motor roared to life, "-work now."

"Ah. Thanks, Jungkook." Nodding, Jungkook let his head drop as he made his way back to his seat at the computer. Before returning to address the locked systems Jimin sent to his screen, he turned to glance at his hyung.

"You, uh, gonna be okay out there, hyung?" Namjoon climbed into the front seat, glasses sliding over determined eyes.

"Absolutely, JK. You just stay put and back up from here. Be right back."

"Yeah," Jungkook watched him pull out of the small garage, turning when he heard Jimin's voice call for him. "He just left."

"Now, the benefit of having a UPS guy knocked out on your bed is that he leaves the keys, too." Taehyung swung the key ring as Hoseok dressed in the makeshift changing area they had in their small warehouse.

"Oh absolutely," Hoseok remarked, fighting the buttons on his shirt as he questioned just how the confused man would react to awakening in a hotel room halfway across town with no uniform and no truck. He didn't know how long it would take the service to look for their truck, but he figured Tae would. "How long until they realize he's missing, TaeTae?"

"The company will only realize after people call and wonder where their packages are. Then they'll realize the truck's gone, look up the employee and realize he hasn't reported back either. Most common occurrence is: employee finds a nice package in his truck, steals it, and runs away with the truck. Happens more often than you'd expect." Hoseok didn't want to be impressed, but it was really hard when Tae was a walking ball of usually useless knowledge that came in handy in the best of times. He didn't want to ask, but he had to.

"And if the guy wakes up before that?" Tae looked up to see that, yes the uniform was a bit snug on his hips but otherwise a loose and recklessly handsome look was graceful on Hoseok. He grinned, trying not to be too proud.

"I had some leftovers from the last time Yoongi-hyung had a meeting. He won't wake up for a while. Now, the truck." Swinging the keys, he let Hoseok pat his head before snatching the keys.

"Alright, let's tell Joon we're ready."

"Right behind you, hyung."

"How's that exit coming, JK?" Jimin pried open the window, grateful that they were only on the second floor. He didn't want to think of what his younger brother would have him do if they were any higher. Seokjin had tugged some chairs, jamming the door and buying them "approximately three minutes more" according to Yoongi. He was never wrong, but they didn't want to have to push their luck any more than they already were.

"On it. Joon-hyung is headed towards you but you're gonna have to relocate real quick." Jimin slid down the piping, feeling his hands bruise but kept moving as Yoongi swung past him, scouting past the corner to make sure they weren't surrounded. Seokjin looked at Jimin for directions, hoping JK was still in his ear, feeding him plans and back up and keeping him level.

"The alley on your right, head down it and you'll find a residents lobby. Duck inside, there's a storage room. I'm sending the location to hyung, he'll meet you there."

"Gotcha. Let's move." Yoongi and Seokjin followed wordlessly as they heard the resonating sound of the door in the office break down, adrenaline shoving them to move quicker, take bigger steps, make it to safety. And soon.

The sounds of people rushing in and out of the hotel was innervating, because they knew what happened when people rushed. People rushing meant cover was easily lost or gained. It was the turning tide they needed to make use of, so when Seokjin shoved past and slid beside a woman looking happily surprised, Jimin didn't blink. When Yoongi let himself become a wallflower and slid into an open door behind the resident's hall, Jimin wasn't phased at all.

He knew what they had to do to stay alive, even as he watched Seokjin slip his earpiece as he adjusted the woman's hair out of her face. Even as he heard Yoongi grunt at JK in his ear, a call for instruction.

"Storage room, turn right. Stay on the main floor, head past the two doors on your right before turning, there will be a garage in sight. Hyung is almost there. Stay put, stay hidden." Nothing unnecessary, Jimin shared a smirk of pride with the mirror reflection of Yoongi ten steps behind him. Trained the brat well after all.

"Nochu coming through after all." Seokjin fell into step fifteen paces ahead of Jimin, moving steadily as he stopped to ask someone for directions, allowing Jimin to move past him into the hall. Yoongi steadied behind Jimin, shoving past Seokjin roughly before picking up the pace, allowing the chase.

Acting like assholes, that's how you hide. Jimin recalled Namjoon telling it to Jungkook once. People hate assholes and try to avoid them at all costs. You get lost and they grunt and groan but don't remember what the hell you look like, just that you did something to them. It's elementary.

And it's exactly how they all found themselves sliding into the back of Namjoon's white minivan, dimpled man grinning at them from the front seat.

"So, how'd it go?" Yoongi, on the other hand, was doing anything but smiling.

"How about you drive before the fuckers catch up to us, huh?" Groaning, Namjoon threw the car into drive before muttering about the elders having all the fun. Jimin didn't feel like reminding him he was younger than Namjoon. It was better this way, he thought, smiling to himself in the rearview.

"Hyung, did you get out?" JK chirped through the earpiece, Yoongi flicking it out as Jimin giggled.

"Yeah, we're out. Headed your way, JK." Jimin smiled as Seokjin glanced at the guards outside, running around searching for the men who vanished. "We'll be home soon."

"How are you holding up, Hobi-hyung?" Tae clicked away on a laptop somewhere in the corner of the garage, headset on and alert as JK typed into his own computer a few feet away. Together but apart, Tae thought. It was the best way to work.

"Good, Taehyungie. Just gotta go drop something off and we'll be good." Hoseok smirked as he saw the open garage gate, a familiar black head of hair swinging something at him. Pulling up as best as he could -Hoseok said he could seduce mobsters, not parallel park- beside the man, he let himself go through the back and tugged out a box much larger than it was heavy. Nevertheless, he played the part and grunted as he let himself be led inside the building.

"Package for a Mister Yang?" He fluttered his lashes the way guards liked, and sure enough, he was on his way up the elevator to the second floor. What a shame, he thought, smiling to himself, that the guards didn't notice those three hopping in beside him in the elevator.

Reaching the front door, Hoseok gave his best knock and "delivery?" reenactment before stepping aside and letting Seokjin shove past the man into the office. Hoseok let himself sit by the side, becoming friendly instead with a cat that apparently lived on the floor. It wasn't long before he muttered into his earpiece. "Tae?"

"Yeah, hyung?" Hoseok heard faint grunts and a very upset Seokjin from behind the office door before sighing into the earpiece.

"I'm really glad we don't do grunt work."

"Yes, hyung. So am I."

It wasn't until Tae announced time was up that Hoseok pulled away from the cat -calico, his favorite- and made his way to the door, knocking as proudly as he imagined a delivery man would. When the speaking ceased, he realized they probably forgot he was outside waiting. Ugh, hyungs.

After recovering the package, he let himself whistle as he approached the elevator, refusing to speak until the doors shut behind him.

"Headed down, Tae. Keep me in sight?" A chuckle erupted from the line, assuring him his prayer didn't fall on deaf ears.

"Always got your back, hyung. Watching the monitors now."

When the elevator doors opened, the guard raised an eyebrow at Hoseok returning with a package he was supposed to deliver. Hoseok, however, was used to playing the dumb blonde, even when his hair was rose tinted.

"Wrong Mister Yang~ What a shame, he seemed to really want a package today, too." Winking at the guard, he made his way through the front doors before anyone could question it. Once he was loaded up, Hoseok sped down the road the way he knew delivery cars weren't supposed to, but he had to get the body to Namjoon so Tae could get the car back to the guy.

"Tae, we're headed your way. Prepare for drop-off." Tae dropped the pencil he was trying to balance, bored the moment he spotted Hoseok speed through the lobby without a second glance. He knew the man wanted out, but why was he moving so fast?

"Drop-off?" Tae raised his eyebrow as Hoseok sighed from the other side of the line.

"Yes, Tae. You have to get this back to that man."

"Ah, right. Okay, hyung." Tae tried not to laugh at the worry wart his hyung was becoming. It's gotta be the age.

When Namjoon pulled into the garage, Hoseok was plopped beside Jungkook at his desk rummaging through files and drinking sodas. Namjoon might've found it endearing if it wasn't for the fact that they had a man a couple minutes ago and now there was no sight of him. Yoongi and Seokjin unpacked the truck as Jimin voiced the concerns running through Namjoon's head.

"Where's Yang?" Jungkook spared them half a glance before pointing towards the basement door. Ah, they prepped him. Well, they couldn't blame Jungkook for being careless at least.

"He's supposed to be alive but seems like someone forgot to put holes in the box." Jungkook pointed a glare at Hoseok, who looked like he wanted to be innocent, he really did, but after searching the files he was left with little to no pity for the man dead in their basement. So, instead, Hoseok did the next best thing: shrugged.

"He was a dick, I don't see why we had to keep him alive." Yoongi made his way directly to the basement stairs, figuring he would try to see what he could salvage of the man, with Seokjin placing his gear near Jungkook before following him. Namjoon figured it would be best to leave it to them as he moved a chair to sit beside Jungkook and the monitors. Jimin threw an arm around Hoseok's neck, play strangling him before realizing there was something missing.

"Where's Taehyungie?" Hoseok shook his head, grumbling about hotels and UPS trucks before showing him the laptop screen.

"Busy, but take a look at this. We managed to salvage the information from the deal that went down in the Jakra Providence last week. We have names, addresses, numbers," Hoseok scrolled the page, Jimin mentally ticking names off a list he had memorized long ago. Names he knew he had debts that needed paying. Debts Jimin was willing to collect, any day of the week.

"It's enough to bring them down completely, Hyung." Jungkook passed his laptop to Namjoon, pointing to certain information every once in a while as the elder scrolled from page to page, the data pilling in like sand. Filling all the blanks they needed.

"Now the only thing we need is for that man to still be breathing and we'll be set." Namjoon let his gaze fall on Hoseok, who merely shrugged as they heard the garage door click open. Turning they spotted Tae walking in, smile etched on his face until he locked eyes with-

"Hyung stop looking at me like that, he's fine!" Hoseok nearly bounded out of his seat, Jimin holding him down for fear of the computer still resting on his lap.

"He better be fine, Taehyung, or who knows what else we'll have to clean up!" Just then the basement door opened, Seokjin standing with heavy breath.

"Actually, we have enough cleaning downstairs to keep us busy for a while. He's awake."

#bts #bangtan boys #bts fanfiction #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #ot7

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