#fbi!keith

[notedandingored]

I just found out klance is also called blueblade sometimes and I’m getting a shlew of new-never-before-seen edits and I had to share

[nerds-yearbook]

The X-files: I Want to Believe premiered on July 25, 2008. The second theatrical release came out five years after the end of the first run of the TV series. The original idea was to conclude the alien invasion plot, but when Fox insisted on continueing the X-Files as a TV series, they decided to make the second film as a "monster of the week" plot. The movie was dedicated to Randy Stone, who cast the pilot episode including finding David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in the leads. While X-Files creator Chris Carter had directed television episodes, this was the first film he directed. The F.B.I. had reached out to former Special Agent Dana Scully (Anderson), who had gone back to being a Medical Doctor, to have her contact her former partner Special Agent Fox Mulder (Duchovny). They promised to clear his record (he had been on the run since X-Files "The Truth" - 2002 ) if he helped ASAC Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet) find a missing F.B.I. Agent. The reason for wanting Mulder's help was due to his experience with the paranormal as they were being helped by a disgraced priest Father Joseph Crissman (Billy Connolly) who claimed to have visions about the case. Scully and Agent Mosley Drummy (Xzibit) both thought Crissman was a fake. Meanwhile, Scully was busy dealing with a medical sittuation not wanting to give up on Christian Fearon (Marco Niccoli) a child who had been diagnosed with a condition with no proven cure. Besides Mulder and Scully, the only official cameo from the TV series was Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi). However, Chris Carter, Stephen E Miller and Venessa Morley had appeared on the show but as different characters. ("X-Files: I Want to Believe", flm, Event)

[sandboxworld]

First Look at Duster: J.J. Abrams & LaToya Morgan’s New Thriller

Duster is an upcoming crime thriller television series created by J.J. Abrams and LaToya Morgan, set to premiere on Max in 2025. Set in 1972, the series follows the groundbreaking journey of the first Black female FBI agent as she ventures into the Southwest, enlisting a fearless getaway driver to help dismantle a rapidly expanding crime syndicate. Starring Rachel Hilson and Josh Holloway,…

[savinggod]

Jesus christ came and is here amoung me and u ...

Brought u jesus i went to get him myself ... he is my real dad father parent..im his real permitive sibling son so that majes this officer kesso-quezo god son..

[we-keep-odd-hours]

Book recs for anyone else upset that Near Dark is one 1.5 hour long movie with an almost unwatchable last ten minutes.

Below the cut, I've listed each title with an author and synopsis.

Please consider buying from your local independent bookseller. If you're not sure about any near you, or if you would like to support independent booksellers (and therefore authors!) by ordering online instead, you can search your area at https://www.indiebound.org/

I am not affiliated with IndieBound and don't get any money from sharing this link.

See more notes at the end of the list.

I Travel By Night by Robert McCammon. This is technically the sub-genre of "Weird Western" rather than horror; a Civil War soldier turned vampire wanders a strange west. Mysteries, ghosts, etc. Despite being from a major voice in speculative fiction, this is only available in digital.

The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones. A First Nations vampire revenge story. If you don't know the historical event it was based off of, I'd suggest going in blind but following up your read with non-fiction: this one is heavy.

In the Valley of the Sun by Andy Davidson. Pitch-black neo-noir Texas vampire novel. Takes place almost exactly in the same locales as Near Dark, only set a few years earlier. A killer is turned into a vampire, and hides out on property belonging to a young widow and her son. Gnarly and mean, the prose is rich without being flowery.

The Coffin Moon by Keith Rosson. RELEASE DATE: 9/9/25. Family tragedy, vampires, serial killers, and western vengeance set against a backdrop of the PNW and the Badlands in the 1970s.

Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite. Rice is the biggest name in late 20th century vampire literature, but Brite is right behind (note: he has gone by Billy Martin since the 00's, however still prefers the books to be under this name). These guys make the Lost Boys look like The Little Vampire. A punk and shock-goth classic, this southern gothic road trip is well worth the read.

Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones. Yes, he's on here twice. A young boy travels from town to town with his aunt and uncle; they are werewolves, some of the last of their kind, trying to keep themselves safe and sane by any means necessary.

Blood Like Mine by Stuart Neville. A single mother on the run with her teenage daughter becomes a serial murder suspect as she tries to dodge cops, FBI agents, creeps, and keep her strange daughter fed. The word ''vampire'' is never mentioned, but if you're into vampires to be reading this list, this is not a spoiler.

You're Always Welcome at the Bloodridge Motel by J. Hunter Richardson. A small motel off of the highway plays host over decades to a strange family comprised of people who look like they're from different eras, don't seem to age.

The Bloody Red Barron by Kim Newman. This is #2 in the "Anno Dracula" series, and does heavily rely on knowledge of the first book. An alternate history where Dracula's arrival in England and attempt to take over Europe gets farther than he did in the novel, this one makes the list because Severen actually has a very small cameo on it.

Midwestern Gothic by Scott Thomas. Four midwestern horror novels; there's one specifically that I could see taking place in the same universe as Near Dark.

American Vampire by Scott Snyder. The first volume is told in two timelines: the closing days of the American West that Never Was, and the early days of Hollywood in the 1920s. Skinner Sweet, extremely un-glamorous outlaw, becomes the first American vampire after trying to rob the wrong train. He goes on a killing spree

The Orange Eats Creeps by Grace Krilonovich. Part Outsiders, part Clockwork Orange, and part Near Dark. Teenage ''vampires'' wreak havoc in the Pacific Northwest as they wander in their respective packs. The writing for this is unique and wild and the novel is worth it for that alone.

The Lesser Dead by Chris Buehlman. Another novel where the author went out of his way to make his vampires into monsters, crooks, killers, without the frills and melodrama of the more gothic-leaning stories. Set in NYC in the 1980s.

BONUS NON FICTION: Near Dark by Stacey Abbot. A revisit of the making of, structure, and final story of the film from a pop-culture film and television critic and historian. Part of the BFI Great Films series. Yes, it's more or less a 100 page essay about the film, but if you made it this far in the list, you'd probably enjoy it. The writing wavers between that of a nostalgia review and an actual academic dive into the film.

BONUS NON FICTION: Our Vampires, Ourselves by Nina Auerbach. VITAL reading for vampire fans, tracing the development of the vampire from the early 1800s through Near Dark (a WHOLE academic chapter on the latter!) as a mirror to our own cultural and social turmoils.

Honorable mention to The Morganville Vampires series by the late and great Rachel Caine: she managed to include an evil vampire patriarch, his significantly younger blonde girlfriend, and their leather-clad attack dog/body guard/friend. They're YA novels from the 00s and the writing reflects this, the books didn't age very well, and I'm not sure I'd really suggest them, but damn did she ever pull that off and in the process get an excuse shoved in there to refer to the head vampire as "daddy."

.......if you think I'm reaching on why I'm 99% sure the trio was meant to be the gang from Near Dark, the leader's name was Bishop, and Ms. Caine was a noted Aliens fan--her short story "Broken" actually managed to get a reference in Alien: Romulus.

ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMERS AND DISCLOSURES:

-Why these titles? Because I found a couple of them and realized that there's a hyper-specific genre of vampire novels of (mostly male) authors trying to avoid the cliches of the ''gothic'' vampire novel (at least aesthetically, if we're talking gothic as a mode of literature then nearly all of these are gothic or heavily feature gothic elements).

-I have NOT read all of these, however I DO own them all, so I cannot personally vouch for most of them. Some that I read I loved despite any flaws, others I didn't care for despite them being ''good'' and three I'm still in the middle of. Unless someone specifically asks for books that I have enjoyed, I try not to let personal opinion influence recs.

-These are all adult horror novels, please check trigger warnings first.

[blackinperiodfilms]

First look at ‘DUSTER’ starring Rachel Hilson

J.J. Abrams is back with the first project he’s co-written in six years. Abrams has teamed with fellow writer and executive producer LaToya Morgan for a new Max drama series.

Set in 1972, it follows the first Black female FBI agent (Hilson) as she heads to the Southwest and recruits a getaway driver (Josh Holloway) to take down a crime syndicate (led by Keith David).

[nklytkin]

keith update

so what if I told u guys I'm under investigation from the FBI and police department and it has VERY much to do with tcc.... I'm so serious my life is ruined be safe out here

[sarcasticsouthernbookworm]

Weird meta coincidences are my favorite

Keith Carradine plays a character named Frank in both Dexter and Criminal Minds

In one he’s an elite serial killer hunting fbi agent

In the other he’s one of the most prolific serial killers being hunted by fbi agents

Both Frank

Also kind of an asshole to the bald jacked black cop

[zmediaoutlet]

wincest + 7?

The second time Sam listened to the voicemail was at a gas station a hundred miles from the airport where they’d emergency-landed, on their way to Chuck to find out—whatever could be found out. Dean was gassing up their stolen car and Sam said he’d go in to get—coffee, food. Dean said sure without looking at him. The station was bright and the TV over the counter was playing footage from Ilchester. “Crazy, huh?” the clerk said, and Sam said that yeah, it was, and could he please get the key for the bathroom.

He sat on the toilet with the hem of his jeans soaking up something horribly wet and he tried not to breathe through his nose and he held his hand tight over his eyes and he listened to it again. Dean’s voice crackling and strange through the speaker, like he was ten thousand miles away instead of on the other side of the concrete wall. Freak, he said, and monster. Certain it was true.

Sam took a piss after all. When he came out with his hands washed and his face dry he filled up two cups with coffee and he grabbed a handful of granola bars and he stood at the counter behind a woman who was getting twenty on pump 3 and a pack of a cigarettes and who was staring frankly shocked up at the TV, like she hadn’t seen the world ending before. “What happened?” she said, bewildered. The clerk shrugged. She looked behind herself, at Sam, and Sam felt like he was bleeding somewhere essential but unreachable, like all his organs were splitting and his skin would go dark purple-black all over and people would know, at last, what he’d—what had—except that the woman didn’t say another thing and just shook her head and left, and the clerk rang Sam out without paying much attention, and he was disgorged into the warmish night like everything was—fine.

Dean was leaning on the side of the awful little car with his arms folded over his chest, looking at the ground. He glanced up when Sam walked closer and he looked at the coffee cups and at Sam’s knees and his eyes skittered over Sam’s face without pausing. It was a long way to Ohio, he said. Sam didn’t bother to nod. He got into the passenger side and he set the coffees in the neat little pop-out beverage holders and he put on his seatbelt and he looked out the windshield, straight-ahead. Dean sat behind the wheel silent for five seconds before he turned over the inadequate engine and they drove east, unwilling to bear the radio.

The third time Sam listens to the voicemail is after he gets the job at Hoyt’s. At a motel close enough to be convenient but not obvious, the clerk tells him they only have king rooms left. “Hope that’s okay,” he says. It is, Sam says.

It isn’t because the bed is too large and the room is too empty and he stands with his back to the door for almost a minute, which he knows only because the old clock on the bedside snaps to 03:47 while he’s staring at nothing. He’s supposed to be at the new job at 5:00 and doesn’t have time for this.

He sets salt at the windows and door and he bleeds himself just enough to set the sigils a demon taught him at the corners of the room where it will matter and then he takes a shower, as hot as he can stand it, wanting to be skinned and boiled clean and have every rancid rotting part of himself picked away from the frame of his bones and then stitched up right. To be other than what he is. But that isn’t on offer, so he washes his hair and shaves and dresses in clothes without bloodstains and laces his sneakers tight and then sits on the end of the bed, sorting out the wallet for ‘Keith’. Thirty-two bucks and a license he made yesterday at a Staples and a very small very stupid keepsake that he should not have, a business card for FBI Agent D. Nugent, with a number Sam knows will ring to places he isn’t welcome, but against all logic he takes his phone out of his pocket, anyway, because—

Why? He holds his phone in both hands and looks at the carpet fibers, the toes of his shoes. Because they were meant to know where the other was. Because without even a vague idea—state, city, motel—some anchor was missing from the world. But, with what Sam has done, that anchoring chain has snapped, and he doesn’t know, now, where Dean is. Could call Bobby, but perhaps Bobby doesn’t know, either, and worse: what if Bobby doesn’t answer, or if he does answer, what if he won’t tell Sam, for any number of reasons that Sam deserves to have stacked around his heart, ready to scorch the whole thing to cinders.

His stupid heart. Aching, still. Not the fierce stinging pain of a gunshot but as solid and unrelenting an agony as from a broken bone, some fundamental error that will take months to heal. Or it won’t. The king bed’s a joke. The last king bed was almost a year ago, when Dean was back from hell and things weren’t yet as awful as they could be and they’d split a bottle of decent bourbon and Dean had told Sam, laughing, that his jokes were terrible, that he was actually the least funny person on this or any planet, and Sam had propped himself over Dean and dragged his thumb over Dean’s grin and said, yeah, sure, and you’re Mel Brooks, and Dean had promptly said it’s good to be the king, and hitched his thigh over Sam’s hip, and it had been—not perfect, but as close maybe as either of them could ever get, as close to heaven as Sam had ever had a hope for, and Sam’s chest throbs like every single rib has separated from the sternum. Some essential protection lost.

He listens to the voicemail. Dean says there’s no going back.

Sam deletes the message. He rubs his fingertips over his lips and scrubs away ghosts. He texts Bobby, Great Plains Motel, Garber OK, and then turns off the phone so he can’t know if there’s a response. He has work to get to. What passes for a life, after that.

[madamefeu]

Here’s what your favorite Hazbin Hotel character says about you! I had a lot of fun with this one:

Alastor: You're either a simp, or you're aro-ace and are grateful to have some representation in the form of a main character, even if said main character is a murderer and a cannibal, and not a soul in between.

Husk: You're a furry, first and foremost. Daddy kinks are common, but you have a grandpa kink, and your ideal man is someone like Paul Hollywood. Or you're a massive Keith David fan and you simp for every character he's ever voiced. Ok, maybe not EVERY character. But definitely Dr Facilier. Come to think of it, if you simp for Dr Facilier, you probably also simp for Alastor

Niffty: You know that girl who looks sweet and innocent but has a criminal record, and has written depraved fanfiction that would get you on an FBI watchlist? This is her

Charlie: Hello, Disney princess fans! Charlie is a Disney princess who cusses and you love that about her

Vaggie: You've supported the 'Vaggie is a fallen angel' theory since day one, and you loved saying 'I told you so!' when it was made canon

Rosie: Hello, Radiorose shippers! Don't worry, I'm one of you. Rosie and Alastor are platonically married, your honor. You also wish you had a supportive cannibal mom

Angel Dust: How's that unresolved trauma that you process by lashing out at others working out for you? No, but seriously, therapy would help you, or at least, it would be a healthy alternative to your substance abuse problem

Sir Pentious: You watched Phineas and Ferb as a kid, and you loved Dr Doofenshmirtz, so it's no surprise that you love a character who is basically him in snake form

Cherri Bomb: Your type is party girls capable of handling enough cocaine to kill a bull elephant. Either that, or you are a party girl capable of handling enough cocaine to kill a bull elephant. Your nostrils will not survive your twenties

Vox: You used to be an Alastor simp but then Vox came along, and now he's your new favorite tumblr sexyman. You never thought that you'd find a TV sexy but that hasn't stopped you from simping for him

Valentino: You've never made a good decision in your life, and you don't intend to start now. Your taste in men is horrible, and you always date bad guys in the hopes of changing them, and you need to stop, because they're not gonna change for you

Velvette: You're the mom friend, and you hate it. You never wanted to be the mom friend, but you have to be because your two friends who are dating can't mediate their own relationship and they make that your problem

Adam: See everything I said about Valentino, because it applies to him as well

Lute: You wish you could be the Y/N in every single boss/employee romance. You fantasise about dating your real boss on the regular, and no one can stop you

Emily: Is Charlie not sweet enough for you? Then it's no wonder that you like Emily instead. Emily is your precious bean

Sera: Lesbian with mommy issues. You're into a very specific type of woman because you have a poor relationship with your mother

Mimzy: Hello, former Steven Universe fans, more specifically the ones who loved Spinel. Mimzy is just a cussing Spinel, and you love that about her

Baxter: You're disappointed that he didn't get any speaking lines in the show. Don't worry, maybe he'll get some in season 2

[goth1c-pinki3-pi3]

im writing this because my friends are being assholes and this gives me an excuse to ignore them

So, in this Bones x Voltron au, Keith is Sweets. and we all know that lance sweets had a shitty past with the foster care system so i’ll be bringing one of my favorite (if done well) head cannons in. Everyone say hi to “keiths abusive past in the foster system after his dads death”!! now keith was in the system since he was about 8-14/5 right? cus thats the general age he looks then he joins the garrison for high school and leaves (is kicked out) the final year (yada yada yada, cannon ensues.) Keith comes back to Earth and time had passed, he’s finally able to drink and shit.

But he’s been in space for so long, that he doesn’t know how to socialize. He also doesn’t know how humans work anymore, because some of his own anatomy has changed with his inevitable galra puberty. So obviously he decides to study psychology in hopes of understanding how to communicate with people.

Now the fun stuff. He gets a job into the fbi as one of the youngest psychologists because he has a good reference from the garrison (which, in my mind, is in it’s own way a military school). help doesn’t wanna go into the fbi with this big reputation of saving the world, because they’ll ask about that and wouldn’t focus on the fact that he id a registered psychologist!

Now this can either “end” in 2 ways. Either number 1 (the boring one) where instead of Lance dying, his new galra anatomy (and the trained ability to move his organs while in the BOM) makes sure he survives and Daisy doesn’t have to raise their kid without him.

Or we can go with my favorite, number 2!! Now number 2 lies in the fact that the government knows about aliens and that Hodgins regularly goes to sweets (when they’re both not clocked in) to share conspiracy theories together. Of course, they’re best friends so Keith keeps no secrets and introduces Hodgins to his mom. Its also important to point out that Hodgins is an orphan. So of course Krolia emotionally adopts this crazy lil silly guy whos like, less than a fraction of her age.

Everything comes to a blow when something causes both Keith and Hodgins to be in danger. Keith still keeps his blade with him with permission from the government because you know, he saved the world. And that blade has some connection to his mom so he sends a pulse through it to signal he and Hodgins are in danger and she races over to save them.

Yeash this made my hands hurt. Anyways this goes out to @mosscreeper-ao3 who raised thier hand when i asked if anyone would listen to me rant about my bones (2005) x voltron idea. 🫶

[amazingmsme]

A Good Golly Holiday Time

AN: Extremely loosely based on the squealing santa warmup prompt featherflake & basically just my excuse to write for The Solve It Squad/How the Grunch Cribbed Christmas. Ever since I first laid eyes on Scrags I knew he had to get wrecked. Hope you enjoy, merry Christmas & happy holidays to everyone! Really gonna try to pump out one more holiday fic but we’ll see about that won’t we?

Scrags... really wasn't having a good time. He normally tried to avoid the holidays because it only served to remind him of the family that didn't want him, and that fucking Maddie girl in his dad's reserved seat was just rubbing salt in the wound. He tried to keep his glaring to a minimum.

It seems his efforts failed because his friends very easily picked up on his sour mood, and it was obvious that they were walking on eggshells around him. They were in the craft portion of the planned activities, and it felt like his friends were coddling him rather than actually checking in. It was insulting damn it, he was a grown ass man! He didn't need their condescending praise about his crappy snowflake or the pitying looks they cast his way when they thought he wouldn't notice. Well news flash: he notices everything; he's a fucking FBI agent for crying out loud!

He heaved a heavy sigh as he glued a handful of feathers onto his snowflake. Keith walked behind him and off to the side, looking over Ester's shoulder at the iPad in their hands.

"So, what's the chat saying about me?" he asked, sweeping a hand through his hair. Ester rolled their eyes as they continued to scroll through the comments.

"Not much, they're all talking about what a sad sack of coal Scrags is being," they muttered, causing Kieth to furrow his brows.

"What? No way, Scrags is always high strung and snappy, they just don't know him like we do," he tried to justify. He glanced up at Scrags, his playful smirk falling when he saw the way their friend's shoulders sagged. He slapped a handful of feathers onto his snowflake in a messy, haphazard thud onto the table. "Okay yeah, he is being a classic Grunch, but it's not like we can cheer him up." Keith caught sight of a nearby camera and flashed a smile and wink.

Ester rolled their eyes. Keith stepped in front of her to be in the camera's full view and addressed the audience.

"Hey all you beautiful people at home! Our friend Scrags is having a little trouble getting in the holiday spirit, so we're taking suggestions on how to cheer him up!"

"Really Keith? C'mon, we got more important things to do! I need all you fuck nuggets at home to donate in my name, got that?!" Esther yelled, addressing the camera as they shoved Kieth out of the way. "Think of the children, first and foremost, but make sure I fucking win when you do!" they insisted, drawing the attention of Gwen and Scrags with the shrill pitch of their voice.

"Esther, try and keep it down, it's arts and crafts time and I do expect you to use your indoor voice," Gwen said in her classic cheerful tone with a dash of condescension and and a pinch of superiority. Thankfully, neither Esther nor Keith paid her any mind as they searched the comments for ideas.

"Wow you guys really have no sense of humor," Esther muttered as they scrolled past a few particularly bad holiday themed jokes. Keith grabbed their wrist and pointed at the screen.

"Hold up, go back I think I saw something," he said, not waiting for them to comply and snatched the iPad.

"Hey, give that back!"

"In a sec!" he said, scrolling until he found the comment once more. He froze and looked at Esther with an excited, sinister grin. "I think mrsclausgiantjuggs just gave us the solution to our problem."

"Ew, Kieth-"

"No, it's a username! Here look!"

"No I don't wanna-" they stopped mid sentence as they read the comment. A devilish glint flashed in their eyes. "Is Scrags ticklish? You guys should totally tickle him, I bet THAT will cheer him up!" They looked up from the screen and locked eyes with Keith. An evil chuckle slipped out as they slowly crept over to their gloomy friend.

"Gwen, your snowflake is looking picture perfect, just like you," Keith flirted, ever the suck up simp.

She flushed and giggled, "Oh stop!"

"Scrags, buddy! Yours is... coming along," he said, staring at the mess of paper, glitter glue and feathers.

"Gee, thanks. Gwen made me do this so she wouldn't be crafting all by herself," he teased lightly. "But y'know, I think it'd look better if you did it, Esther. Or even you, Keith."

"The hell do you mean "even me?" he asked incredulously. Esther smacked him from behind, reminding him they had a goal to accomplish.

“Scrags, I gotta be honest with you. You’re acting like a Grade A Grunch, and the chat’s picking up on your vibe. Now if you don’t change that, we’re gonna have to take drastic measures,” he warned/threatened. Scrags merely rolled his eyes.

“Sorry that I’m not happy enough to conform to your cheerful holiday standards,” he quipped, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

“Well that’s where we come in,” Keith said, sidling up next to him. Scrags looked him up and down skeptically.

“I’m not really in the mood for jokes…”

“Oh but this isn’t a joke!” Esther assured from his other side, making him jump. “If you ask me, this is a sure fire way to get your cheer meter filled all the way to the tippy top!”

Scrags scoffed, returning to his half-assed snowflake. He jerked away with a squeal when he felt something soft and fluffy flutter over his ear. He looked over to see Keith twirling a feather between his fingers, sporting a wicked grin. Scrags held his arms out in front of him as a weak defense.

“Dude, no, we’re live,” he practically pleaded.

“Uh, I know. This was a fan suggestion!” he chirped. Scrags choked on his own spit, sputtering and stumbling to his feet.

“Ex-excuse me? No, I don’t believe you!”

“Oh but it’s true,” Esther spoke up from behind him, making his blood run cold.

He stared at her, completely frozen for a solid few seconds before his brain caught up with himself. “What?” he reacted with his entire body, tossing his head around to look at her, placing his hands on his hips in his iconic sassy dad pose. “Who would want to see that?” he demanded.

“I think a better question is who wouldn’t want to see that,” Gwen joined in on the teasing, walking up behind Scrags and squeezed both his hips, making him twist out of her grip with a choked off giggle. “Great idea Keith!”

“Technically all the credit goes to mrsclausgiantjuggs, but I am the one spearheading this mission,” he bragged on himself, but still gave credit where credit was due. Okay, so maybe he wanted to say that username one more time.

“No, okay, I am shutting this down, it is not happenIIING!” his stern scolding morphed into a shrill squeal when Ester grew tired of waiting and dug their fingers in his armpits. He whipped around just in time to see their sinister grin as they wiggled their fingers in the air, getting ever closer. He desperately tried to fight off the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Not once up to this point in the livestream had he been so aware of the multiple cameras trained on them. He continued backing away from the threatening fingers�� Right into Keith’s outstretched arms.

Strong arms, that immediately trapped him in a very tickly bear hug. “GOTCHA!” he yelled as he pinched and kneaded his sides and ribs, launching him into a full fledged giggle fit. He squirmed around like a fish on a hook, swatting and shoving at his probing hands.

“Aww, I can’t remember the last time you looked so happy, Scrags!” Gwen cooed, placing a hand over her melting heart. She wasn’t even meaning to tease, it was a genuine observation.

“Ihihihit’s fohohorced! Gwen d-don’t just stahahand there, hehehelp me damnit!” he snapped through his laughter. Before she could answer, Esther interjected.

“Uh oh, someone clearly isn’t feeling the holiday spirit!” He shook his head, eyes wide with panic as they lunged for him. Their fingers prodded his soft belly, causing him to double over in Keith’s grip.

“Oh I’ll help you alright! Trust me, when we’re through with you, you’ll feel like a million bucks! Just like when we were kids, right Mr. Giggles?” she asked and okay this time she definitely meant to tease. It had the desired effect and had him turning a rather adorable shade of pink.

“D-dohohon’t call me thahahat!” he cried indignantly, twisting around in his friend’s hold to hide his face from the camera, and hopefully protect at least a few of his tickle spots.

He realized his mistake when Keith took a deep breath and planted a loud, sloppy raspberry on his neck.

“OHOHOHO FUCK KEITH THAHAHAT’S SO GROSS, GEHEHET OHOHOFF!” Scrags’s hysterical laughter nearly blew out his mic before it tapered off into a less earsplitting volume as Keith pulled away, wiping a hand on his mouth.

“Sorry, could’ve sworn you said you liked raspberries,” he said with a shit eating grin. Scrags rolled his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah, the fruit you dickwahahad!” his insult lost its edge when Esther drilled their thumbs in his hips, sending him back into helpless laughter.

“Hey, this is a charity livestream for children, watch your motherfucking mouth!” Esther yelled over him. Gwen gasped at the outburst.

“Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black!”

Esther smirked, cocking their head to the side. “Sorry Gwen, pretty sure you’re not allowed to say that anymore,” they said, shaking their head with a tsk. Gwen scoffed.

“Oh you are so asking for it!” And with that, she set her sights on a new target.

Needless to say, the chat was going wild, and they were gaining views by the second. It was a rare glimpse of the fun, bright eyed detective group they remembered growing up, and that was the greatest non denominational holiday gift anyone could ask for.

[devileaterjaek]

Did I ever tell ya'll that one time me and my buddy Keith guest starred in the PC version of Resident Evil 6? 'Course Keith was real paranoid about the FBI learning his real name so he wore a helmet and just called himself "Agent" We mostly just kicked the shit outta eachother, it was funny

[savinggod]

That Lucy looking for that boysonmanhusband

Before I saw ran out of death

Then death bought me a face

Face the demons of day and

vampire my leg try blood drink

Then Lucy saw and broke dead

Saw me and thought true dead

Shotas go back in skull and three positions

U shoot TEMPLES THE FOR HEAD SHOT DEAD

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S04E15 - Nightmare on Water St. - Part A

This is an episode that is apparently okay to exist on this family show. Not that I mind, but they certainly haven't figured out what constitutes as family show.

Black letters in quotes: Actual show quotes.

Green letters in quotes: What I come up with my twisted brain.

I'm still upset that this is a Mardi Gras episode and not a Halloween episode. Listen, I have Mardi Gras in my country, there's nothing spooky about it. I want Halloween.

Not to blame the victim but I'd never open the door without proof of identification to this... thing. And I don't think any woman would.

If they keep going like this, Sarah will have more qualifications than a BAU profiler and it will seem ridiculous that she keeps staying in St. John's.

I like that Charlie is seeking her expertise, though. He recognizes that this murder is something Sarah might have more insight on or at least a different perspective. Which they ultimately turn into a bet lol

Yeah, there was a lot of flirting in this one.

And there it is. The popular trope. (I don't actually know if it's popular, I've seen it in a few shows, though.)

Every interaction these two have is like some kind of weird foreplay.

"Will you two stop eye fucking and pay attention?"

Yeah, man, but that's how we get to him.

Sidenote: There's a pretty good show called Profiler which was aired on NBC in 1996. It stars Ally Walker, up to a point anyway, and Robert Davi (Julian McMahon is also in there). Walker's role is about an FBI Profiler, and in the 90s this was still considered just a bit above pseudo-science (I kind of think the network also didn't understand it for reasons I won't analyze further here). There were a lot of people they met that thought she was a cross between a medium and a cop. This is a show that to this day still holds up well, has a female lead, a queer character, diversity that a lot of 2000s shows didn't have, and is very creepy because, aside from every case they have to solve, Walker's character has a stalker (a freaky serial killer) for the duration of the show. I consider it a good predecessor for Criminal Minds, it has the same brand of creepy and the cases are solved mostly based on profiling but in the raw setting of 90s crime shows. I'm a pretty big fan of it and I don't think anyone can find it easily now so if you want my 360p copies (lol), let me know.

Which means this isn't a spree killer, I think that's what Sarah is pointing out here. The difference is that in spree killings, there's no cooling off period. With the woman being dead for two days, that means we're moving away from the spree killer scenario.

Yes, we're going to catch our serial killer in the ten minute mark. Then, we're going to twiddle our thumbs for the duration of the episode and Charlie and Sarah will go for sushi.

Guys, the jumpscare is not supposed to be Charlie, you do know that, right?

Okay, did they really have enough cause to post Keith's photo on the news?

lol

"Damnit, there goes the bet."

Trophies. Nice.

"I need you to patrol every single neighborhood"? How? There can't be an adequate police force for that.

Yes, I believe that both of you climbed that fence.

"Well, now that is some fucked up shit."

Does every killer have to be a damn parkourist?

So, can you or can you not climb it?

lol I think Diesel was startled there because he was barking and then he turned to look.

Well, that is... a failure. Zero out of two. Lost our victim and our killer.

"Because I'm the hero." lol Charlie. And I don't know how Sarah didn't side-eye him. You all missed the connection, you're not some serial killer task force. When you have the end result, it's easy to backtrack and see how it all fits together.

Rugby is another sport I don't know much about.

What the fuck kind of hazing rituals are these? Branding? Seriously?

"I'm really ashamed of the way we treated those players." You don't say.

Oh you guys, you know that when you send Jesse to the field, something bad happens.

To be continues at Part B.

[blackinperiodfilms]

Duster | Official Teaser | Max

Set in 1972, it follows the first Black female FBI agent (Rachel Hilson) as she heads to the Southwest and recruits a getaway driver (Josh Holloway) to take down a crime syndicate (led by Keith David).