#fast food dude

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Fast Food Dude, Betty’s Diary #22 (1988).

[kingofdoma]

best description of morgan spurlock's legacy ever

[citricjoy]

the fact that one of the most prominent of benson’s character motifs throughout the whole movie is that he feeds people? that’s so fucked up

[arohuacheng]

what people don't get about hualian is that they're literally like. jock and alternative art student. xie lian lives like a frat boy (mattress on the floor and nothing else in his room, no standards for his own well-being, can't cook and ends up eating what could be classified as biohazards) and is really enthusiastic about fighting as a hobby. meanwhile hua cheng rocks up to the function in his cunty little outfits every day of the week, bells on his boots and the red eyeliner slayed, obviously has taste but is soooo in love with his boyfriend who only ever wears cargo shorts and the most fucked up questionable hoodies you've ever seen. hua cheng wants xie lian to have nice things but it's always like. "babe i promise it's no trouble can we please get you a bedframe??" nd xie lian is obviously so enamored with his cool alt boyfriend who wears skirts sometimes and never misses a beat on a bitchy comment that's just the way it is. basically if your hualian concept doesn't have hua cheng as the hot goth gf you just don't get it

[triglycercule]

at the beach so we pullin out the mtt beach headcanons GO

horror buys one of those cheap diving kits with goggles and flippers and always ALWAYS challenges killer to races

killer always accepts because he thinks he can beat horror (he loses EVERY time. horror's just too fast with those damn flippers)

dust goes up to random people's beach chairs when they're away and sits in them and then when they come back he sees how long he can gaslight them into thinking that was his chair from the start

while horror is napping killer and dust will fill up his skull with sand. he doesn't wake up until they're like 75% done

dust likes to fully submerge himself in the water and then pop up and jump scare killer (killer always gets scared no matter how much dust does it)

dust tried to scare horror with this prank but then he was pushed underwater and forced to eat the wet watery sand by horror

dust and horror don't play around with sand around killer's chest because his soul is near that area and killer VISCERALLY hates sand on his soul

killer can mix his eye goop with sand and it creates a toxic determination sand bomb that will literally knock a bitch out

dust will still wear papyrus's scarf even while underwater and then complain about how wet it is

killer will see a boat in the distance and bet that he can swim there with dust and horror. dust and horror end up losing a LOT of money once the boat comes back to shore with killer on board

horror doesn't eat his popsicles like a normal person. he waits for them to melt and then licks the melted juice and dust and killer shit on him SEVERELY for this

dust is such a heavy sleeper that horror and killer had enough time to build a sand grave for him and host a fake funeral service before he woke up. then they pretended he was actually dead when he woke up (it took all of horror's willpower not to laugh)

whenever one of those airplanes with posters attached fly over the beach dust always shoots a bunch of bones at the poster to poke holes in them

killer would build a giant dick and threaten kids to come over and look at his sculpture with his knife. then when the kid sees it killer orders them to tell their parents all about "the long schlong". he doesn't even kill the kids it's just to freak them and the parents out

dust doesn't help out while the set up the tents/chairs. horror has to do all the work and killer tries to help but then just ends up breaking something. but dust helps carry all the bags and chairs to and from the beach and car :3

killer brings horror as far out as he can in the water and then tells him to look underwater (connected to the first headcanon where horror has goggles) and then it turns out that killer took off his shorts and is flashing the fish. horror bursts out laughing underwater and almost drowns and then killer has to save him butt naked while trying to hold onto his shorts

when they finally wash off all the sand at the showers by the beach horror is the only one to really wash off the sand. dust doesn't wanna subject papyrus's scarf to anymore water (hc 8) and killer doesn't trust the shitty water pressure to get all the sand out of his joints

at the end of it they went to this nice seafood place and watched the beach while eating peacefully. and then on the ride home horror and killer slept like rocks (dust had to drive)

[its-stimsca]

Postal dude stimboard? I beg of thee, hear my Plee. -🎼🎶

This dude seems pretty postal to me

💣 🚬 💣 / 🚬 💣 🚬 / 💣 🚬 💣

[bringbackbunnymaloney]

Méko had a merch page in his book!

He said that the T shirts were real, but the food was only in his fantasies!

[myonmukyuu]

Birthday night 🎀🎙️

And a quick extra 😂

[dandyghest]

so uhhhh men's stomachs, amiright?

[ID: Digital art of Guzma from Pokemon Sun and Moon. He is drawn twice sleepily stretching as if he's just gotten out of bed, and wearing only a pair of sweatpants. Guzma is a young mid-20's man with short wavy hair, a bit of stomach paunch and some pectoral body fat, with a wide-ish line of body hair running down from the top of his chest to the waistband of his pants. In the first pose, he is leaning back slightly, arms raised and bent to reach behind his back, yawning widely with his eyes closed. In the second, he is reaching high up into the air with one hand while learning over to the side slightly, with his other arm bent with his elbow sticking straight out and his fist closed beside his face, once again yawning widely with his eyes closed. A couple bubbles with a popped one are doodled beside each face to symbolise sleepy yawning. End ID.]

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.

*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*

No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.

[pisshandkerchief]

today a little kid prank called my job, told my coworker "you don't make any money", and hung up

[gravitycavity]

NEW CHAPTER SOON!

Get ready!!! This one's a doozy!

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey I thought about an interesting AU and I wanted to ask you what you think about this one.

Thenamesh quiet place AU!

Maybe them living and surviving together and they find Makkari and Sprite and they decide to take them in?

Or you can put your own version in it! You decide

Thena looked around the campground, being careful of the sticks and leaves that might be remotely louder than silent. Of course things seemed calm, but one could never be too sure.

Being out of the city at least was hopeful. She and Gil had managed to leave together because of living in the same apartment complex. They could only hope their other friends had made it out and to some of the boats. That was the goal now; find water.

It was no guarantee, but it was a hell of a lot better than nothing.

Gil waved to her, pointing at a caravan in the back, close to the trees. She nodded. The further from the city they got, the quieter things were, but that certainly didn't mean that they were alone out here. But they needed supplies, just like anyone else.

She walked ahead, being the quieter footed of the two of them. Gil did his best, but he was a dense ball of muscle, some noises were just inevitable. She looked around the area; still nothing. Slowly and carefully, she reached for the latch on the door. It wasn't silent, but it wasn't loud either.

Gil held his hand up. She had heard it too. He walked closer, holding up the butane torch he kept on him as a weapon. It gave off some sound, but it was still a hell of a lot quieter than any gun. And fire seemed reasonably effective against those things.

She pressed her back to the outside wall of the camper. She couldn't hear that clicking sound, which was a good sign. But it could still be a stray animal in there that could let out a shriek and spell their doom. Or perhaps the things were evolving and disguising the telltale sound of their presence.

Gil opened the door and poised his arm in the air. She peeked at him from behind, ready to pull him out if something went wrong. But he just stood there. She frowned.

"Uh-"

Well, that was odd. She moved around the door and behind him, trying to see past his wide shoulder. She bent, instead, looking through the gap between his arm and his side. She blinked, "oh."

The kids were huddled together, not terribly young but no older than their early teens. One with unruly red hair was glaring at Gil from under the table. The other one was facing him head on with a baseball bat held high above her little head.

The one under the table gave them the finger.

Gil shut off the blow torch, holding his palms out to show his intention of being friendly. He pressed his finger to his lips. The girls traded a look between them. At least the baseball bat was lowered.

He shook his head as something was signed to him. He looked at her for help, shaking his head and making a face. She nodded; it wasn't her best language, of course, but she knew some.

The girl was fluent, her hands moving rapidly, and with a definite sense of displeasure.

Thena held up her palms as well, urging the girl to slow down. She already wasn't good with kids, let alone kids when communication was even harder than usual. Slower, please.

The girl blinked, maybe pleased or at least surprised to have found someone who knew sign language to any extent. She looked at the smaller one again. Maybe.

I'm Thena, she began, spelling things out in what she was sure was a clumsy way, for the girl. That's Gil. You?

Makkari, the older one also spelled out, before offering a sign that clearly was a shorthand for her name. She even repeated, clearly not expecting much from them. She pointed, Sprite.

Thena nodded, looking up at Gil and then the kids. Why are you alone?

Makkari helped Sprite out from under the table. She pointed at the door, which Thena latched carefully. They had hung blankets in the windows, either for safety or to dampen any incidental sounds.

"We were camping."

Thena and Gil both looked at Sprite with surprise. Maybe they had assumed both kids would be mute. Gil looked at her before gently motioning for her to sit across from the kids at the breakfast nook table. He remained standing. "How long have you been out here?"

Sprite shrugged, although Makkari mentioned something about at least six months. How these two girls had survived all by themselves like this was beyond them. "When everything happened, our mom went to ask someone what was happening. She...she never came back."

Thena frowned; Gil physically winced. His heart was much too tender for all this. She leaned forward in her seat, what have you been doing to keep yourselves safe out here?

The girls traded a look again. They were integral to each other's survival out here. "Kari goes looking for things. She's really fast, and those things kind of don't always notice her."

That was interesting. But if the girl was quick and light on her feet, maybe she was as negligible as the wildlife, in terms of sound.

Makkari pointed at them, you're the first people we've seen.

Since everything happened. Thena looked up at Gil. The look on his face didn't surprise her. They weren't allowed pets in the building they had lived in back in the city, but she always imagined Gil would be the type to rescue a kitten from a box in the rain. And this would be the expression he would have on when he found it. She put her hand on his arm, shaking her head quietly.

He held out his hand.

She made a face, hoping to keep the kids from seeing it. She didn't want to abandon them here either. But kids were a whole other level of liability in their mission to find a safe haven in this new world--this dangerous world.

He put his hand over hers, but gave her a much firmer look. He wasn't going to leave them here, and 'no' wasn't an option.

She sighed through her nose. She could have guessed that was the case. Gil was just too sweet.

"Uh, hello?"

Thena looked at the girls again. They were both still distrusting of them, for which she couldn't fault them at all. This wasn't the kind of world in which just anyone could be trusted. "We-"

"We're not asking you to drag us along, if that's what you're thinking."

They had to be at least 13, judging by the attitude they both had. Thena resisted the urge to roll her eyes; this was exactly why she had been poised to say no. Gil would be a great guardian and father-figure. He would make a great dad, if the world hadn't outright ended. She, on the other hand, was no mother-hen.

"It's not safe for you to stay here," Gil said oh-so gently and sweetly. His voice was comforting, like a blanket. "We can help each other."

We're doing just fine, Makkari argued, her hands smacking together slightly in her passion, right here!

Thena reached out, snatching the girls hands before they could clap together, palm against palm. Makkari looked affronted but she raised her eyebrows at the girl. Careful.

Perhaps chastised for the first time in months, both girls quieted. They looked at her with their big, sad eyes. Makkari pulled her hands away slowly and offered a sheepish, sorry.

Gil peeked out from their blanket curtains, making sure nothing was lurking around outside. He patted her shoulder.

It was all clear; Thena leaned back in her seat again. Still, she spoke barely above a whisper, "come with us."

The kids looked at each other, but rather than seeming to have their own conversation between them, they looked tentative. They looked scared, frightened at the possibility of leaving what shreds of a home they still had.

Thena sighed again. "How much food do you have?"

Both girls blushed, perhaps their stomachs were rumbling quietly as they spoke.

Gil hurriedly and happily took off his backpack and dug around in it. "Why didn't you say so?"

Thena gave the girls a smile; Gil looked big and tough, but he was a teddy bear if ever there was one. He was a chef.

The girls' eyes both brightened, big turquoise and speckled brown respectively. They clearly had been living sparingly, eating what they could manage to get their hands on after the immediate supplies ran low.

"Here," Gil whispered, putting down a cloth bundle of dried meats. "It's jerky."

"His recipe," she added with a hint of satisfaction as the girls all but wrestled over it. "He marinates it himself."

The kids tore at it like wild animals. But Gil just chuckled, leaning on Thena's shoulder. "I have more, and biscuits and roasted nuts. You guys can have as much as you want."

They would get spoiled. But Thena had to admit that it was nice to see something as hopeful as kids devouring some good food after everything everyone had been through. She patted Gil's arm as she stood from the seat. "I told you it's good."

He rolled his eyes at her, but he returned her affectionate little pat as she checked the other window. "It'll be dark in a few hours. We can stay here tonight."

The kids looked up and then at each other and then back at them.

We'll need supplies for travelling. We can collect things a little at a time and use this place to sleep safely. When we have enough food and water for everyone, then we'll go.

Sprite had a piece of jerky still dangling from her lip when she asked, where?

Terrible manners, not that those mattered anymore. Thena set her bag down too. "We have to look for water. Those things can't swim. Water is the best way for us to survive."

"Uh, we can't-"

"You don't have to swim," Gil amended quickly and gently. He leaned down, subtly reaching into his pack for more food. "I can't swim very well."

That was an exaggeration; he sank like a stone. Not that she was much better. But Thena smiled, "we'll find a boat, or something. Then maybe we can find an island that still has some people."

The kids shrugged. They weren't concerned with finding the remains of civilisation. They were only concerned with tomorrow, and maybe the day after. They had each other, and that was enough for them.

Thena pushed forward the biscuits for them to also devour like hyenas (which they did. "Where do you two sleep?"

Makkari chewed with her mouth open (great). But she gestured to the benches on which they were sitting.

Thena looked at the camper as a whole--there was a larger bed at one end and a smaller, elevated area at the other, directly under the window. She pointed at the larger one for Gil, you take that one.

She would have to teach him some sign, but he got what he needed from it. Enough to give her a look and insist that she take the larger bed. He pointed to where he stood; he would stand guard.

She rolled her eyes more blatantly at him, "you still need to sleep, Gil."

"And I will," he insisted before gesturing to the smaller shelf of a bed, "there."

Sprite gulped down some dry biscuit, crumbles flying from her mouth as she said, "what, are you guys in a fight or something?"

She frowned, and Gil looked at her too. She shook her head, "what?--no, why?"

Makkari waved her finger between them, aren't you married?

Thena's jaw dropped. These impudent kids--completely without manners, so full of attitude. And why would they assume that?! Just because she and Gil were travelling together didn't mean they were married! They didn't seem married...did they?

"What?"

She rubbed her temple, trying to conceal her frustration. It was just a question by some unruly kids. She picked up her head and smiled at him, "nothing. You should get some rest now, then you can take watch later."

He made a face at her, and at the girls giggling at him.

[spacebread-7]

Why do people get mad at fast food/retail/essential workers like be so fucking for real

I work at a local pretzel place and the amount of (grown adult) people I've seen throw literal fits over folded bread is insane. It's fancy bread and cheese your honor. A step above midevil peasant food. You are a peasant as am I. Stop complaining and take the fucking pretzel istg

[kewpiekills]

Usually I don't care for oc x canon but I adore your Nurse x Scout art. Its like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein to me. Someday Nurse will torture that poor twink to death and Scout will be too desperate to say no. Once nurse has permanently destroyed Scout's mind he will regret the loss of this actual human being he's ruined<3<3<3<3<3 More unethical experiments on his gay ass please!!!

YOU GET IT FOR REALLLL!!!!!! i’ve kinda decided Nurse calms down on the twink abuse once he realizes how utterly desperate Scout is, willing to injure or kill himself over and over just for a lick of positive attention. but his intentions were definitely just to fuck with him with no realization his actions would have consequences until it was a bit too late. i’ve gotta actually like, make more of a comic with these two sometime, but you got their dynamic down pat <3