#fangirl struggles

[aesthetictarlos]

I'm trying to keep up (cit.) with BuckTommy fics ever since the ship went canon but this fandom is thankfully and blessedly so productive and now my marked for later list is endless and things went out of control 😂 I've just finished reading the 30th fic of the weekend and I've almost given me a migraine, idk what these two did to me.

And don't even get me started on the amount of fic ideas I've written down in my "bucktommy fics I want to write" list in my phone, UGH SOMEBODY SAVE ME

[eleni-cherie]

hello, it's 7am and I stayed up all night to reread after 6-7 years one of the best fanfics I've ever read, misfits. it's a calum one but also a bit Michael. it's still as amazing as it was back then.

[namisweatheria]

One Piece means a lot to me as a disabled person, which I think would be pretty surprising to anyone who only has a surface understanding of it. The supposed central theme of "follow your dreams" would be pretty alienating to someone like me, right? It really, really would be, if that's what it was actually about.

However, that ignores that Luffy's dream is to be the most free person in the world. And to attain that goal, the first thing he does is find friends to live life with. Over and over again, from the very beginning, he takes on their burdens, all in the name of being the most free.

Do you see what that would mean to me, as someone who needs more help to get by than is considered culturally normal, to the point that it puts me in a whole socially manufactured category of "other"? Not to mention, because of the infantilization of me due to that category, because of being forced so squarely into the "cared for" role, taking care of other people is deeply meaningful and empowering for me. However, the myths of independence and universal natural ability often make it emotionally difficult for my loved ones to accept that care.

The fear of asking for help, the guilt of being cared for, the weight of someone you loved who could not be as free as you, the insecurity of not contributing enough, the fear that you were born wrong, the self-hatred that says you are not worth the effort, Nami Sanji Zoro Usopp Robin Chopper Ace they all explore the painful obstacles to free connection. Through deeply impactful stories that weave beautifully into the larger one.

All centered around this one person who views loving them and living with them and carrying them as essential to his freedom. Who cannot, for countless reasons, live a normalized life of Structured Relations. Who views exploring and bickering and suffering and laughing with them as the ideal way to live. Who repeatedly puts his life and limbs on the line to do so.

To me, it is an ultimate privilege and freedom to carry other people's burdens. To care for them and live with them. This is central to my whole perspective, and is completely informed by my life experience as a disabled person. I rarely see it reflected back to me. Let alone as powerfully and beautifully as Luffy does.

Nor the other half of it, of wanting to create this life with people in ways that aren't socially normal or approved. Of creating many varied lifelong intimate relations among equals, rather than conforming to the expectation of choosing One Person to live life with and then Creating More.

The utter lack of roles and norms is just as integral and powerful to the exploration of freedom and connection! It is meaningful to me as a queer person, yes, but even this is deeply influenced by my disability. I could never be that One Person, despite everything I have to offer, there is logistically far too much that I cannot do to be someone's equal partner in this society that demands so much from all of us. However, even if I could, I wouldn't want to! It doesn't make any sense to me to only have two people navigate life together on such intimate terms. Can't the demands of society be more comfortably met in a group? Isn't life more fun that way?

We are taught that we can and must do everything ourselves, I just happen to be one of the people that never had a chance to buy into that lie. To learn very early not just the necessity of interdependence, but the joy in it. To learn that it is most comfortably lived with more people involved. To me, close relationships are, love is, a natural extension of that understanding. One Piece celebrates interdependence constantly from the start, while never pretending that it is always easy.

The obstacles to free connection that I mentioned before, they are interspersed throughout the story, and they are always met with "I do the things you can't do, and you do the things I can't do." With, "Of course I can't use swords you dumbass! And I can't cook either! I don't know a damn thing about navigation! And I can't lie!"

These are intentionally impactful moments, and they define the series. I found it very fitting that the Fan Letter focused on a character who was empowered by Nami to feel free and live adventurously despite not being the most physically capable. The character is able by our definition, but the story is very affirming in a disability way, and it was extremely One Piece. I loved how it acknowledged this deep connection between One Piece and the lived reality of disability and celebrated it as integral as it is.

I also believe that absolutely none of this is intentional. It is simply an earnest exploration of human relationships, emotions, and behavior, and it naturally arrives at a radical and disability-affirming viewpoint. Because we are the monkey wrench in the deeply unhealthy (lol) and dominant line of thinking that independence is all. So naturally anything that also disputes that thinking has a disabled-perspective feel to it. The best part is how much it doesn't give a fuck! One Piece is aggressively against conformity in human relationships, in a way that is hard to find in our new world of self-conscious authors.

It's also, you know, the worst part, in terms of all the outrageous bigotry and offensive character design, but god damn it if it doesn't elevate the good parts to unbearable heights. Even the bad character designs can sometimes be more impactful for their intentional "ugliness", when those characters are inevitably taken seriously despite their appearance and the stereotypes they play on, it hits hard every time. I do have a simple hatred for many choices, there is no pay-off for much of the awful problems in numerous character designs and dialogue. But no matter how upset I can be by those things, in the end they can't succeed in pulling me away from One Piece. It's just so crazy and unique and great and terrible and beautiful and I LOVE IT.

[laurrelise]

breaking: old man can’t figure out how to put on clothing that isn’t a three piece suit

also dropping the reference pic + a little bonus <3

[crezz-star]

Bartolomeo

[ren-rambles-often]

I really wanted to put out a more in-depth analysis of the contrast I noticed between the representation of GoYuu and SukuIta in fics (mostly on ao3) but I've gotten so busy and the workload has yet to let me go so I'll be quick!!!

For those who gave a fuck to make it this far it's just something funny I kind of noticed. Maybe someone else did too but like why does SukuIta get more wholesome rep than GoYuu???

Sukuna is literally a mass murderer with most likely cannibalistic tendencies but in more fics than not the most he does is being a self centered jerk with possessive tendencies.

On the other hand, we've literally got jujutsu Jesus, but because (I'm kinda guessing here) it's a teacher x student situation, people tend to focus more on the fact that yeah, this is a pedo situation. No other interpretations, no softening or exploring, just make him a creep.

Which is okay, I don't yuck others yums, if creep Gojo does it for you then by all means go for it, cause god knows I happen to like it now and again myself.

Nevertheless the difference is crazy, I used to think it was the age gap thing but even then Sukuna's case is clearly still worse (cuz centuries year old curse) but again it's not paid much attention to since he's not in a position of power above Yuuji in what's represented as our structured society, so therefore it's less relatable...I guess.

Anyways, I love both ships to death, with GoYuu probably being a few points higher but the influx of creep Gojo fics (of the basement arc or other variety) has really started to become tiring to read.

Despite all that I'll still be reading, there's a hidden gem every seven or so pages they say (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[sluttyten]

yall what the fuck 😭😭

It’s one thing after another this week

I’ve been a one direction fan for years, loved most of their solo work, and although I didn’t like Liam anymore and didn’t stand for any of the shit that had been coming out about him, I still can’t believe this

[noisettesgfandwifenojoke]

if kinito was a girl I would simp for her so hard. But hey that's the struggles of a lesbian you just can't simp for a Male character because you're devoid of feeling for it

[the-dragon-hearted]

We, as a community, do not talk enough about how Juvia and Bora are exes.

Like HELLO

Mr. Number 1 Opp of episode 1 who actively participated in human trafficking dating the one and only done-dirty-by-Mashima water woman.

Also Bora broke up with HER? Sir?? There is so much to explore there that, like many things, IS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN -

Okay - so were they childhood friends or was he using her for her looks/powerful magic? Did it start off transactionally or was there some spark there? How long did they date? Did she stay with him because she felt that no one would ever love her, so at least she could be valuable in a different way? Did he make her laugh? Or just put up a facade in front of other people? Was she his backup for a while, a bodyguard adjacent for when his schemes went sideways? Is that how they started? What about the end? Sure we see him breaking up with her in canon - but why? You can't tell me he suddenly didn't like the rain of The Rain Woman. I mean he can, he's a prick, but consider the alternative: Did she see catch on to his beginnings? Expose one of his scams? Grow critical of whatever shit he was getting into? Did she say something? Did she try to stop him?

The first time we see her she is completely covered head to toe in several layers and the rain does not stop. She says it's never stopped. But damn, doesn't it feel like turned from a drizzle to a downpour after him? I think it's purposeful. The layers are purposeful. The hints are there. She fully expects to be discarded after her fight with Gray. AND seeing how she comes out of her shell in the later arcs - watching her change her hair and her clothes, experimenting with new styles with an almost fervent joy - it just makes me wonder.

Could she not do that before? Was there an expectation there? A controlling factor? How much of her identity was she willing to sacrifice to quiet the fear of being unloved? How hard did the rain fall as it progressed, did it ever waver, or did it only get stronger and stronger.

And Bora? Fucking Bora?

Was it REALLY about the rain, or did she just speak up? Did she intervene and he had enough sense to refrain from trying to harm her. Because if the relationship was built off of him using her for magic and granting her some sense of companionship in return, then he damn well knew that there was no way he, a lil fire mage, could stand up to the actual force of nature that is Juvia. No, that meant he knew EXACTLY how to hurt her without inviting her vengeful side.

So he tells her she's too depressing. He reinforces how unlovable she is. How it's HER fault. How it's always been HER, how he's leaving her because of who she is - how he couldn't change her. He probably throws everything she's quietly confessed to him and leaves - safe from retribution and free to continue his fucking diabolical business. Because he knows he's hurt her worse than anyone else could. He knows that she'll either come running back, or she'll run and run and just keep running.

He doesn't know that Juvia only loved the idea of being loved. Not him. Bora can't imagine anyone not loving him (he can, but he's the run who's running, headfirst into greed with an enchanted ring on his finger - someplace Juvia never would've followed). Juvia doesn't run back to him. She doesn't run at all, the rain pours and she decides: "Fine, if I can't be loved. Let me be feared."

Maybe Phantom Lord orchestrated it, the master seems sort of cartoonishly conniving, and Juvia's magic is insanely powerful - but if that is the case, that doesn't change how easily Bora was bought. It doesn't change how Bora knew just what to say to push her to that point. It honestly doesn't change much of anything.

Bora? Pathetic.

Juvia? We all know she's always been lovesick and maybe if she was allowed a bit more characterization we'd be able to explore why. Maybe we'd talk about why she wore so many layers or kept her hair long. Why she kept a "frilly" pink umbrella but wore all blue. Indulging in a childish side while wearing a face of complete apathy. Why she adores the idea of being loved but can't seem to make it work. Why she's desperate for romance but finds more joy in the friends she makes - it doesn't stop her from chasing "true love" but she finds she doesn't need a lover's touch to chase the rain away anymore.

Because the rain was never about Gray, it was about Juvia. It was about how she was loved - not by others - but by herself.

I could spend eons critiquing how she was written... But for now I'm just gonna sit here and think about the consequences of Juvia dating Bora.

And I'm gonna laugh when Natsu and Lucy own his ass in episode 1. Because they don't even know it yet, but they're avenging a soon-to-be-friend. And honestly, I hope Juvia read about it in a newspaper, the pages soggy under her touch. I hope she sat in a park, the sound of pouring rain drowning out all else, read the headline.

And I hope, that even in that dark moment of her life, when she was the cruelest she would ever be, she read about Bora getting his ass handed to him. And I hope it made her smile.

[sweetdreamstilsunbeamsfindyou]

y’all ever read a fanfic so weird you have to pause and take a minute to question every choice you’ve ever made in your life that brought you to this moment

[braceletofteeth]

5, 12, 17, 19!

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

5. Favorite Female Character

Mam from Never Let Me Go (I tried talking about it once before...). Actually, it'd probably be a tie between her and Tanya (from the same series).

But while I admire Tanya because she's this strong, respectable woman, with a truly unconditional love for her child, I still feel like Mam's “flaws” are more compelling to me.

Because- well. I've been the person who judges her, I've been her, and I've been her child. I've been through all of it. And I know how people look at and what they think about women like her—so I know how easy it would have been for the ones who directed the narrative to let its audience throw stones and condemn her character without giving her a chance to speak.

Her point of view doesn't make what she did right (or wrong, for that matter), but I appreciate that there was a space within conversations for her to voice some of her feelings. Her dilemmas, her regrets, her desires.

Many times in fiction, when it's a story focused on kids or teenagers, parents are portrayed as just that—someone's parent. A mom is just a mom, and her story ends where her child's begin. I liked that Mam was a woman, and a mother, who was neither there to be antagonized nor sanctified. I liked that she made a selfish decision, put herself first, and lived the life that she wanted, as fulfilling as it could be. I liked that she knew she couldn't have everything, but still gave herself the choice of what she would rather have, despite what was expected of her. I liked that she was honest with herself, and with the ones that she loved.

12. Most Rewatched BL

After discovering it, I watched Utsukushii Kare five times between May and December last year. Would have watched it even more this year, if it wasn't for the fact I'm only now having time to rest properly. I'm planning to do the next rewatch this month, preferably this week.

The reason why I've rewatched UK many more times than any other BL is that, well, for one, it's not lengthy. You can watch both seasons + the movie and that would be little more than an afternoon/night/morning. Plus you know you're gonna enjoy every second of that time.

It's hard for me to put into concise words why I like this drama so bad, because- Man, I like everything. I like the dynamic between the characters, I like them (and to study them) individually, I like the acting, I like the chemistry between the actors, I like the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCOMPARABLE original soundtrack made especially for it, I like the scenarios and the vibes, I like the colors and the lighting and the angles, the moving shots, the still shots, the tension and the timing. I like the humor, I like the drama, and I like the romance. I like the way they express themselves, the acts and words they use; when, where and how they use it. I like how so many little things are meaningful throughout the story. I like how they found the exact kind of love and support they needed in their lives. I like how protective they are over each other; how jealous, mesmerized and touched they can get. I like the co-dependency and the tangible yearning. I like how it's both so intense it's kinda crazy but also so tender it makes me wanna cry.

There's nothing ever made in this world that I'd rather watch more.

17. Best Kiss

(doesn't specify what kind of kiss, but I thought it was already hard enough deciding among the mouth-to-mouth ones—so those were all I took into consideration for this.)

This may sound like a basic answer, but as long as I have eyes, and ears, and a heart... it's got to be PatPran's Rooftop Kiss in Bad Buddy.

I tried not to reach a final verdict too fast and even rewatched some of my personal favorites (KinnPorsche's separation kiss on EP6 of KinnPorsche; NuengPalm's own rooftop kiss on EP5 of Never Let Me Go; SandRay's angry-desperate kiss on EP9 of Only Friends; and others from these same three series), but in the end... There's still nothing that can compare.

It's hard to breathe watching the moments that lead to that kiss. While they kiss, you can hear Pran crying. He kissed that man like that was the only kiss he'd ever get for the rest of his life. He kissed like he had waited for a thousand years, and a thousand more wouldn't be enough to recover after.

Good luck beating that.

19. Favorite Female Actor(s)

(sorry, couldn't decide on just one!)

I was recently captivated by Nina Nutthacha performance in Love Sea. I love how expressive she is, and how you can easily identify and sympathize with the emotions she's portraying. She did impressively well in both the humorous and emotionally poignant scenes. I'm looking forward to more of her works in the future! 💕

Another actress that I like is Samantha Melanie.

Ever since her character in Until We Meet Again won over my heart, seeing her show up in other series always makes me happy, no matter how brief her appearence is. She's the kind that brightens up a room just by being there (and. also she's so pretty 😳).

[deus-ex-mona]

honeypre comments in the stream so trueeee

[eleni-cherie]

fanfics nowadays kinda suck tbh (if you can call them that.. they're rather just long one shots w the main purpose being smut..) so I'm just gonna reread the stories saved in my wattpad reading list from 8 years ago that were so good that I still remember them

and w good wattpad fanfics from 6-8 ago I mainly mean 5sos ones 😌 nothing compares to misfits, 24 hours, 7:15, mafia, stutter, 100 days, senseless, thin walls, block f, vlut, sirgin and lots of others

idec if some play in highschool the plot is still amazing

[lemonina00]

Nothing to add 🫠 the struggle is real!

[khrysalisposting]

some maxine rockhoppierre headcanons >:)

(novus spoilers ahead!!!)

pre-governor:

grew up the same as any pingouin. parents were oppressed by the walrusk regime, and always encouraged young maxine to fight the good fight for a better future for all pingouins

around the same age as red rosa when the pingouin revolution really started to come to fruition

was active within the resistance circles, really idolized rosa as a hero of the people and her hero especially

did what she could to play her part, which was enough to get her noticed by the leaders of the revolution but not fully integrated into their inner circles

very socially anxious. was very difficult for her to speak up when she wanted to, especially when it came to participating in anti-walrusk activity

post-revolution, she got involved with the new pingouin govt and made a name for herself by advocating for further pingouin expansion outside of walruskberg/pingouinonia (especially in rebuilding urville station after the gulag revolt)

did eventually get red rosa's acknowledgement, and with rosa being the head of the citizen's assembly, began to work closely with maxine (basically, she was rosa's #2 when it came to decision-making)

when the shards appeared in the skies of polaris, she thought it would be a great idea to send maxine with the exploration team to see what soon-to-be la ville rose had in store

as governor:

polaris sent a lot of young post-revolution pingouins to inhabit la ville rose as a test run for how truly expanding pingouinonia would go. with rosa not there and not being touted as the hero of the revolution + them not knowing their history, they would flock to maxine and praise her as the great leader of polaris

maxine let this get to her head and she thought that she could really ride on this popularity, and came to the conclusion that people touted rosa too highly as the sole hero of la resistance when there were lots of people below her (such as herself) that did a lot of work as well

began touting herself as the hero of pingouinonia, which the uneducated pingouins ate up. the valet (manticore) also encouraged her sense of grandeur to plant a seed of conquest in her head that would eventually come to fruition during the war of novus

when the dogs of war began to appear in la ville rose and terrorizing the peace, she ordered the Giant Fish Thing���️ to be converted into basstile 2.0, and then eventually began using it for "political prisoners" (aka anybody who disagreed with her). nobody protested because nobody knew their history

eventually threw quake charmer + copy qhat in there because of their schismist ties, under the direction of the valet/manticore as part of his plan

developed a DEEP sense of hatred for the other spiral leaders and their aristocratic ways bc of what she experienced back in polaris with walrusk aristocracy, especially towards rottingham and his classist ideals. hence why her and him are always at each other's necks

was absolutely heartbroken when the plot twist w/ manticore happened. as much as she was mean and dismissive of him, she genuinely did have some care towards him

constantly talked negatively about red rosa, and since red rosa did not directly monitor la ville rose, she could get away with both that and saying she was the de facto leader of polaris (until the ending of novus ofc)

[chaoticfandomgirly]

Since I am new to both Supernatural and Tumblr, I kinda wished I was in here when the fandom was trending. Especially SuperWhoLock.

But then I read a few articles about it's downfall in 2014 and something to do with DashCon (I still hardly get it).

Overall I gathered that the fans went a bit crazy and stuff.

But, I was thinking what if the fandom was bought back wholly with new set of fans (and old ones who are still here) only without all the toxicity. It was such a cultural thing to have experienced, I want to live it too. So yeah, it would be really cool if superwholock became a significant thing again...only in a way that does not ruin it.

Also! Since Sherlock fandom is kinda dead (no offense guys, I am one of you but let's face the truth shall we?) We can replace it with Good Omens.

It can be SuperOmenWho (I never claimed I was good with titles but you get the idea)