#fandom: iliad

[dantistmarty]

[sword-wielding-sapphic]

first rule of fandom is everything goes back to destiel

second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock

third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson

fourth rule of fandom is everything goes back to achilles & patroclus

[miyetko]

“Patroklos…I loved him, and I killed him.” -Book 18 of The Iliad

[wouldgaysexfixthem]

would gay sex fix them?

[stressedonlaurels]

also people seem to be interpreting this as will reading the trials of apollo, i didn't mean that, but damn that's also funny

[tristniseult]

greek mythology really is the only fandom everyone gets spoilers for. i’m reading the iliad for the first time and first book in i’m thinking wow… this achilles guy really has it rough, hope things get better for him! then i remembered what happened to his heel

[gaygirldoodles]

"Remember every trick in your domain for this"

Buddy

My guy

Have you forgotten that one of Ody's tricks is manslaughter? I think you forgot about that, bud. Did you also forget about Thersites?

[idamante]

Epic fans who hate the actual Odysseus are FAKE FANS send tweet

[themuseinthewoods]

The Men of Troy reacting to the reader being groped unwantedly by a strange man

this is basically the prequel to s*xeul assault, it doesn't happen.

F!reader. Men are Achilles, Patroclus, Hector, Paris, and Odysseus.

mentions of them killing/beating guys

Achilles

Excuse me? What?

whether he sees it or you tell him about it he is going to react to the same

This should be titled the quickest way to meet Hades

He'll send you to his tent with Patroclus for safety.

They are going to die a painful death, the last thing they hear will be Achilles cursing their name and family

Then he washed their blood from his hands and he goes to you

he'll hold you, if you want

if you don't want to be touched he will sit by your side

You wanna talk? You don't? it doesn't matter, he's there and it'll never happen again.

Patroclus

His cousin taught him this shit for a reason

sends the bastard poetic threats

he probably poisons them

the king at comforting you though

whatever you want, whatever you need, he's got you

Hector

ok, so

he loves his woman, its in his code, he says that in the movie

usually he prefers to talk rather than fight and he is in the public eye

so he stays up looking through the codes and laws of Troy and he brings his case to his father who can't argue because he has something to back up his every word

goes with the guards to arrest the man

personally plans the public execution of him

he isn't leaving your side for quite sometime after

Paris

gets his brother to help him take the guy down

he's more likely to get the guys family to turn on him and so he feels all shame

amazing at comfort but scared to make you uncomfortable after the event

Odyeusses

we all know how he handled men trying to pursue his wife in canon

what? oh yes

is that the creeps body on the side of the road?

Is that Odyeusses dog, pissing beside it?

is he even more protective than Achilles?

yes, yes he fucking is.

[mytho-maniac-108]

Wikipedia tells me one of the meanings of the name Andromache is "man-battler".

Andromache is named such that she fights against men. All the men in her family get killed. Her father, her brothers, her husband and even her son. IIRC, in contrast, her mother lives and dies naturally at her father's house. With the exception of Astynax, all the men are killed by Achilles.

I'M TEARING MY HAIR OUT!!!

Homer. Homer I'm shaking you by the shoulders. WHY DOES ANDROMACHE NOT KILL ANYONE WHYYYY??? SUCH HARDSHIP FOR MY GIRL AND SHE CAN'T EVEN KILL PEOPLE IN A WAR??? SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO STRANGLE ACHILLES!!!

[melodyartist]

I'm trying something out... don't ask why Odysseus is naked in a tent with Diomedes and Menelaus, and I really don't have any intention to cover him up, trying to draw anatomically correct bodies and then cover it it's such a pain in the ass😭

But yeah... Definitely just chatting

[lyculuscaelus]

We’re in one of the oldest fandoms where the canon itself is long lost and the source materials for us to draw inspiration from are those of the earliest fanfics themselves—two of which being commonly accepted as beta canon due to their top quality. Sometimes these fanfics contradict each other due to all sorts of OOCs and inconsistencies which is forcing us to choose our own sources to rely on to draw fanart and write fanfics. Each generation of fanfic writers are introducing more headcanons in their works and sometimes their fanfics of fanfics become so popular that they are prompting new sub-fandoms to emerge, inspiring more people to draw fanart and write fanfics for these fanfics of fanfics. It’s almost as if there is a family tree of fanfics and we’re now reaching the third generation and beyond

[miyetko]

changed the words a little—mostly because I just wanted to write Aristos Achaion somewhere

[witless-winion1]

This part of Horse and the Infant

Odysseus: I could raise him as my own!

Zeus: he will burn your house and throne

Odysseus: Or send him far away from home!

Zeus: he will find you wherever you go

Odysseus: Make sure his past is never known!

Zeus: the gods will make him know

Odysseus: okay but that’s just you guys being a bitch

[dantistmarty]

[nyssasatelier]

the iliad

(first 20 pages poorly summarized)

~

Agamemnon : *takes a girl hostage*

Priest of Apollo : Give me back my daughter please I'll pay whatever ransom you want 😔

The army : Hell yeah! Money! We need that!

Agamemnon : No. Now take your shit and fuck off.

The army : *sigh*

Priest of Apollo : Apollo please kill these guys 🥺

Apollo : Anything for a homie😎 *starts killing people*

~

Achilles: You fucked up. Apollo wants to kill us all.

Agamemnon : No i didn't. 😤

Achilles : Okay so i brought a prophet to tell us who did. Don't kill him. 🙄

Agamenon : okay alright sure. 😁

Calchus : It was you 🫵 Agamenon, you fucked up.

Agamemnon : ... Why you little- 🤬

Achilles : Now that we know you fucked up- 😌

Agamemnon : No i didn't! 😡

Calchus : You kind of did-

Agamemnon : Shut up i literally never liked you. 😡

Achilles : Why don't you just undo your fuck up? 😡

Agamemnon : Shut up Achilles, I don't need you here!

Achilles: Alright then, i'll go home. I quit. 🤨

Agamemnon: ... You can't quit! I fire you! 🤬

Achilles: I ALREADY QUIT YOU DUMB BITCH 🤬

~

Also Achilles immediately afterwards: Mommy I'm being bullied make Zeus avenge me 🥺

His mom (who is a god) : my poor baby boy! 🥺💔

His mom : Zeus curse these people >:(

Zeus : eh....i don't really want to 🥱

Hera : Don't do it! :0

Zeus : SHUT UP I DO WHAT I WANT!!! 🤬

~

Meanwhile Odysseus : Yo i brought your daughter back! :D

The Priest of Apollo and his daughter : Yippee :D

Odysseus and the men : *Start sacrificing animals so apollo stops killing them*

Apollo: hmm ... :|

Odysseus and the men : *Have a barbecue and karaoke sleep over at Apollos temple*

Apollo : FUCK YEAH LETS GO :D