#fan would say murder is okay too but only on certain days

[c10v3r]

they kill people in their spare time i think thats awesome. happy pride month

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

[another-lost-mc]

Karasu stalker/wannabe that absolutely fandemons over Karasu's coding but is constantly rebuffed. Starts to chase after the exchange student assuming Karasu has a crush on the exchange student (perhaps makes more sense in Nightbringer than original) and then catches feels along the way.

Possibly an okay coder themself, or a hobbyist that hasn't been able to land a coding job yet.

Oh how fun!

There’s probably a bit of mystery about the tech developments at the Three Legged Crow conglomerate and a certain element of prestige too. Karasu’s little fan just wants a chance to learn, is that asking too much? If only Karasu would give them a chance, maybe they could finally leave RAD and make a name for themselves too.

This poor demon thinks getting close to MC might be the best way to get Karasu’s attention, because who in the Devildom isn’t curious about them? MC doesn’t have reason to suspect this demon anymore than the others but maybe things get a little out of hand. Of course, things like this wouldn’t go unnoticed for long.

(content below: possessive thoughts and behaviour, threats of blackmail/injury, implied murder, minor physical injuries)

OG Karasu: he takes MC’s privacy seriously and isn’t snooping around their device more than he needs to so long as he knows they’re safe. He notices when the persistent demon and MC start having more contact with each other, and he assumes (hopes) it’s merely friendship. It annoys him but he can’t do anything about it without cause (no matter how much part of him wants to). Any goodwill he felt towards the demon is quickly diminishing when he suspects their feelings for MC might be more than mere friendship.

NB Karasu: that little pest of a demon is lucky if they’re around MC long enough to develop feelings for them. It’s not Karasu’s fault this demon can’t take no for an answer; he likes his privacy and he’s far too busy to be tutoring children. When the other demon shows an interest in MC though? It’s best to scare them off peacefully to avoid suspicion—everyone has secrets he can blackmail them with if he needs to. If that doesn’t work, he might have to resort to more permanent measures. Sometimes bad things just happen in a dark place like the Devildom.

DILF Karasu: he thought the demon’s misguided enthusiasm was cute at first, even if their plan to use MC to get his attention is clumsy at best. But now they’re visiting MC at work almost every day and Karasu’s patience is dwindling fast. He’s not sure what the demon’s intentions are with MC now, but this simply won’t do. Karasu would like to enjoy his time with MC and continue to nurture their budding friendship without tedious distractions.

One day when MC is running late for their shift at the cafe, the demon is already sitting at one of the tables waiting. The demon seems a little surprised when Karasu approaches them, almost like they didn’t realize he’s been there all this time too. How foolish.

“Perhaps I can find some time in my schedule to meet with you after all,” Karasu says mildly with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. His hand on the demon’s shoulder shifts so his razor-sharp talons dig into their skin. His lips curl into a predatory smirk now, fangs peeking out as the faint scent of iron reaches his nose and the demon in his grasp winces. “But I suggest you find other friends to occupy your time with until then.”

It’s only a few minutes later when MC arrives for their shift. The other demon is nowhere to be seen, and Karasu is waiting at his usual table in the corner of the cafe, head tilted and resting on his hand, with a warm smile dimpling his cheeks.

[the-acid-pear]

Deltarune Theory: Spamton, The Player & Freedom

As some of you might know by my occassional ramblings and the fact that i post 10 pics of the guy per day bc of my 100+ queue I've been a little unwell about Spamton and Deltarune as a whole lately, and recently while trying to ramble about a different topic I realized something:

I think we, the player, the soul, are a bigger part of this game that we are giving credit for.

After all, what are some of the main themes of Deltarune? Lack of freedom, lack of control, how your choices don't matter... And if we look on a smaller scale, if we look at characters like Kris and Spamton you can also add to the mix a certain level of disconnect with your own body, but maybe i'm going too off topic there... (maybe?)

This is to say, don't you think these things apply quite well to the soul, to us, too? Sure, we control Kris, but Kris is free of ripping us out temporarily and often adds their own input to the things we ask them to say (and even says things on their own), not to mention how they get around to avoid doing what we asked or avoid revealing certain information to us.

On top of that, there's our vessel. The body we were meant to have and freely use, that was, in theory, discarded. And i think this is very imporant because many pick up on Kris being trapped with us, but not as much on us being trapped with KRIS. What we have is an uneassy alliance, a sort of symbiotic relationship, we need one another to exist. But we still aren't free.

And this is where Spamton comes in, our EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] and number 1 freedom yearning puppet, who offers us the highly valued [Hyperlink Blocked] which he believes will carry one to freedom and such.

And it is true that freedom is something Kris might want, but don't forget Kris isn't the only one in control of their body. We too are the ones going straight back to that salesman and doing his little quest.

And this is even more true in the Weird Route, the route where we strip all control from Kris AND Noelle to the point she can only hear us talking, and it's the route where Spamton says at the end "IT’S YOU AND THAT [Hochi Mama]! YOU’VE BEEN [making], HAVEN’T YOU! YOU’VE BEEN MAKING [Hyperlink Blocked]!".

And if you, like me, believe the meaning of [Hyperlink Blocked] is LOVE, then this would make a lot of sense, after all, what were some of the biggest complaints people had about chapter 1 when it released?

Lack of multiple routes, namely a genocide one, and lack of control.

And Toby Fox, being the monkey paw ass guy he is, obligued to the fans request. You want control? You want murder? Okay, there you go.

Not only that, but the weird route is the only one where Spamton never learns Kris' name, only called them kid, making the fact that Kris has nothing to do with our insane rampage even more explicit.

And on top of everything, Spamton was right. We did in fact gain control and a certain level of freedom thanks to this, our choices, the player choices, now REALLY mattered. And the consequences were devastating, hell, even Spamton died here.

So, with all this said, I think my point has become clear. I think our role in the story is very significant, and it even perfectly ties with the themes and the existing characters.

Very excited to see this develop further as more chapters come out 😁

[astrumocs]

actually pain and suffering be on u all of them for oda/LH /J.. (just pick maybe 3~4 you're interested in :3c)

🌞- Have you ever gone out or gotten caught out of your hive during daylight? What happened?

"I almost left Jules hive in the middle of the day once, but he's a light sleeper, and he heard me open the front door. He really went off on me for that attempt I won't lie to you."

💀- Are you strong enough to face shadow droppers on your own if faced with them?

"Strong enough? Like just on physical strength alone? Probably not. If I have my revolver, I think I could take 'em."

🛌- Do you sleep in a recuperacoon or do you rest in other accommodations?

"Nope, mostly just sleep in the 'ol fleet-issued shoebox beds these days."

🤳- Do you use trollian? If so, what is your handle? If not, do you use any messaging system?

"Oh sure, it's usually how I talk to Lad outside of Discorpse. Sometimes I talk to Zach and Kou on there too. I'm pretty liberal with who I give my handle, so I don't mind sharing; I can be contacted at morbidOutreach."

🌌- Have you ever wanted to travel intergalactically? What would you look for in a place to visit off planet?

"Well, I am in the fleet. I do think I'd love to visit a place with a whole bunch of unique plants, though, maybe take one with me if I could get permission from the locals."

🍳- What sort of cuisine do you normally eat? Are you openly okay with items labeled only as grubsauce or grubloaf?

"Standard fleet food on an average day, although even when I'm on Alternia I still eat gas station junk food now and then, so it's not really much better."

"Except when I go out with a friend of mine, it'd be pretty rude to bring a bag of chips to a bar or restaurant after all"

----- Rest Below the Cut -----

🚌- How do you normally get around/travel? Would they ever be able to afford their own scuttlebuggy?

"I like to walk, but when I need to go a longer distance I'm a big fan of taking the bus. I probably could get a car if I wanted one, but I don't think I'm all that interested. Thing would fall into disrepair or get stolen while I was out in space anyhow."

♥️- Do you think that pity should still be considered the normal feeling for a red or would you say love is a more common practice to look for in a mate?

"I think being in a relationship because someone feels bad for you is an uncomfortable situation to be in, it needs to be about feelings that go deeper than that. There should be love there."

♠️- Do you think pitches should only be based on hate, or do you believe they should also be based on a strong rivalry as well?

"I personally don't put hate into my relationships, I never hated my ex when we were together. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think pitch is about hate."

🪦- Do you believe everyone should be given a proper burial or is it a waste of time to have gravediggers?

"Of course, I think death should be as sacred as life. You can't-- or you shouldn't-- have one without the other. If someone wants to be treated a certain way after they've passed, I don't think it's wrong to honor that."

🪖- How do you feel about the ever-looming threat of being put into the fleet if called upon by the empress to do so?

"Bad news, I'm already there. Pour one out for me, would you?"

🔥- Have you ever done something (outside of murder) that most likely should be considered a criminal act, but either wasn’t or was just swept under the rug due to your status?

"The best way I can put this is that I've only ever done what I thought was right. Afraid I'll have to leave it at that."

[ileftherbackhome]

Some day, we're going to have to talk about the toxic positivity in the swiftie fandom tbh. 2016 was 7 years ago, please grow up and realize treating taylor with kid gloves and glowing about her like she's perfect is so unhealthy for her and yall.

I'm seeing a lot of swifties have to manage their negative emotions that taylor makes them feel to "fit in" with the fandom and this is so fucking toxic to people just in general. Yall are doing to each other what yall did to taylor, which is demand she be happy all the time for you guys and willing to be around you all the time.

Idk yall, I'm seeing many swifties ask people not to attack them for critiquing taylor, I've seen people try and mitigate the harassment from other swifties they're gunna get for openly talking about how Taylor's capitalistic ways hurt them.

The eras tour marketing is not the first time that she has disappointed fans, the "unique" midnights recordings just happened a few months ago, why are yall paying for vip packages if yall aren't meeting taylor (to stand around in MERCH LINES earlier??? Are yall okay, seriously, ask yourself how much money you're spending on her and what ur getting out of it), working with a child rapist director (that convo got shut down because all her friends were doing it too! Which is not a defense but I digress), her working with Zoe Kravitz and Lena Dunham and Lana del ray gets swept under the rug, her working on a racist murderers film adaptation was ignored and celebrated, there is so much more that she's been doing recently since she turned 30 that are really just gross things to be doing and she deserves to see her fans angry at her, even yelling at her online, because that's the only way she will bother to café about this issues.

Like yall were laughing about her behavior at the grammys like it wasn't the most OUT OF TOUCH THING I've ever seen. Rolling your eyes at a BLACK MAN who is more culturally aware of the financial burden of his own fanbase than you???????????

And you get swifties who just lick her asshole all day long and call you entitled and rude because you're fucking angry at being used FOR MONEY when that has never been Taylor's branding. You act like the people who critique her branding and her actions not aligning are the ones in the wrong when product honesty is like the #1 that consumers look for in a product.

We buy into taylor the artist ourselves precisely because we are so aware of the way she markets herself being unique but we are very aware of the way we support other artists that are purely financial (beyonce, ed sheeran, louis are all artists that I'm well aware they're not in it for the fans, they're in it for either money, fame, or music is their life but taylor is STILL pushing this narrative on tour that she's alllll about the fans.... is she?)

Like, the eras tour is a money grab because tour is always a money grab but the marketing of this particular money grab is that ALL albums would be fairly represented. Did you forget all the setlists taylor Nation posted that included debut ???? And people were actually picking several songs for debut like cold as you was featured ???????? They put out album shirts, highlighting all albums, she talks about it being a journey through "17" years of music and each era, one at a time.

These are conflicting narratives when you don't put debut or speak now in the setlist.

It's just disrespectful. She asks us to be okay with a lot of stuff that she just ignores and doesn't apologize for because she doesn't care about our feelings, she cares only about the money.

And I wish she would just fucking SAY THAT instead pretending like she cares when she doesn't.

And I wish yall would stop attacking other swifties who are gunna expect things to be a certain way when the marketing is telling you that is the way it's gunna be.

For fucks sake, I wish yall got angrier at taylor more often.

[hyerinrose]

Villainous Charm♡

«Yandere!Villain X Villain!GN reader X Yandere! Hero»

T/W : Unhealthy relationship, Obsessive behaviour, Implied stalking, Implied murder, Possessive behaviour

Note : Sorry for being dead, I was busy with school and this has been rotting in my draft and I feel bad for not posting it even though it's not my best work

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Screams and cheers could be heard as chaos erupted the city from another villain attack. The infamous villain Charm smoothly glided from building to building using their grapple hook as a group of heroes chased them.

Charm was known to seduce their victims with their smile that would drive anyone crazy and make them kill and commit crime for them.

They were both hated and loved by civilians and they have accumulated plenty of fans and haters with their charm alone and it shows through the cheers from the crowd.

The villain then fled from the scene and ran to an empty alleyway to change back to their civilian self.

"Phew..that was a close call.." They say after taking off their mask and changing out of their villain attire.

Their chest heaves rapidly as they try to catch their breath from running when their phone vibrates in their pants, signaling an incoming call.

"[Name]! Are you okay?!" They heard their friend's worried voice ring from the other end as they started to talk frantically.

"I am, calm down Kai! Why are you so worried anyway?" [Name] says after recovering from the shock.

[Name] exited the alleyway and walked back to their apartment which was only a few blocks away. Kai, their longtime friend, took a deep breath to calm himself down before speaking again.

"I heard that you were at the place where the villain attack happenedㅡ"

Their heart lost a beat for a second at his word. Has Kai finally figured out that they are Charm? Is he going to turn them in to the heroes association? Will Kai stop befriending them after thiㅡ

"ㅡAnd I was worried that something happened to you while I was not there to protect you" Kai continued and [Name] let out a relief sigh.

They smiled at his word and assured him that they were fine and were on their way to their apartment as Kai continued to worry over them like a mother hen.

At Kai's insistence, they waited for him to arrive at their home just so he could confirm that they are fine and are not dead.

While they waited for their friend to arrive, they stared off to space as they thought of their life now. Before [Name] became Charm, they were an ordinary person who had a burning hatred for heroes as they've been treated cruelly by them just for being different.

Until one day, they received an unknown package that was sent specifically for them and inside of the mysterious box was a masquerade mask and a note beside it.

'Unleash your true desire with beauty and charm♡' was what they read and they were confused.

They carefully held the mask in their hands and they felt electricity run through their veins and a surge of power engulfs them as they put the mask on. [Name] tested out their new found power and instantly knew what they were going to use it for.

Crime and chaos follows them everywhere they go and nobody can stop them.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Nyx was villain of the night, he holds the power of darkness and use them to his advantages as he terrorize the city.

He used to have them under his control until a certain charming villain entered the scene and caused havoc.

He was Charm arch nemesis, he too was the most feared villain alongside of them. The two villains' rivalry was known in the city and their hatred for one another could suppress their distaste for the heroes.

Nyx and them would often try to one up each other to make a point on who is the better villain and it always ended in a mess. Unknowingly, his dislike of them slowly turns to love that will eventually descend into an ugly obsession.

"Give it up Charm! I am the most powerful and feared villain in the city" The dark haired villain said as he dodges their incoming attacks.

"Never! It's time I put your egoistic self in place and prove that I am the better villain" Charm said while throwing another car towards Nyx who barely manages to skim past it.

"I'll kill you! you stupid power are no match against me" He said after sending a huge group of shadow slaves to fight them in which the other villain sent their own minions of lovesick fans to counter his own.

One particular day, He alongside Charm was caught in a big fight against the heroes and it was going terribly. They were going to lose until Nyx put his personal feelings for them aside and fought together with them and defeated those phony bastards.

The smoke cleared and debris surrounded them from the aftermath of the fight. Charm lent their hand to Nyx as they helped him get back to his feet.

They came to the realisation that the two of them were force to reckon with together and ended their rivalry to become partners in crime instead. Yami Kuragari or Nyx also come to discover his love for them as they cause chaos and madness as a team.

"You and I, we can conquer and rule the world together" He says to them to which the charming villain laughs as they remove their disguise.

[Name] and Yami had gotten comfortable with each other to reveal their identities, in which they were surprised to know that they were classmates.

The dark haired male removed his disguise too and packed everything up before leaving his base with [Name]. As they were walking they accidentally bumped into Kai, who was surprised to see Yami and [Name] together.

He felt particularly bitter on how close the two seemed to be as of late. They have never interacted much before this but now they're all buddy-buddy with each other.

Kai was [Name]'s best friend! They couldn't just abandon their special friendship for somebody they only have gotten to know.

He does have a suspicion on the two but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

The blue haired male was too consumed in his jealous thoughts to notice the glare Yami had given him. He too was envious of Kai as he had been the closest to [Name].

Though Yami was proud that he was the one to know their true feelings and villainous passion. However it still irked him that this airheaded boy is around the person he had grown fond of.

As much as he wanted Kai to be out of a [Name]'s life, he knew that they are fond of the male and would be devastated if anything were to happen to him, much to Yami's displeasure.

He vowed that he'll find a way to keep them to himself without causing them any pain, he lovesㅡ wait what? love? Is this what he's feeling towards them?

Yami didn't particularly understand what he was feeling but he knew that the sky haired male also feels the same towards his beloved friend, [Name].

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[Name] noticed the odd behaviours of their two friends and they passed it off as them not getting along with one another.

Kai's bubbly and extroverted self countered with Yami's quiet and introverted nature and as such caused the two to push against each other. While it's true that opposite attraction does work, sometimes it just does not and the two are an example.

Though they can't deny that they had some sort of rivalry going on between them as it reminded them of their rivalry with Nyx.

They tried asking them about it but they dismissed it and replied with lame explanations. It did irk them that their friends are now keeping secrets from them but they placed the thought at the back of their mind and focused on the current fight instead.

The hero they were currently facing is Aqua, a new rookie if they had to guess as they had never encountered him before.

He launched another huge blast of water towards them and they dodged it stealthily, throwing one of their own and only missing him by a few hairs.

The villain felt a rush of adrenaline as they fought with Aqua and it reminded them of the same feeling they had when screwing around with Nyx.

"You're doing well for a rookie, though not enough to beat me obviously~ what makes you think you could go against a famed villain such as I?" They asked the hero who were panting on the ground, tired from the fight already.

"Yo..you've caught my...attention with your power and I..I admired you for thar" he says in between pants.

They raised an eyebrow and urged him to elaborate more. Aqua is an interesting one they had to admit.

"The way you would utilize your power for chaos and crime is something that I liked about you" Aqua says after finally catching his breath, though he still kneels on the ground sore from the attack he had received by Charm.

"My~ you're a unique one I had to admit it! Admiring a villain for causing havoc is something I had not expected a HERO would say" Charm says in a mocking tone but they couldn't lie that he intrigued them.

"Weren't you heroes supposed to lead me to a better path and not encourage me to be what I am right now, a villain?"

Aqua was silent until he spoke again but with vigor and excitement in his tone, like a crazy fanboy.

"I do not care if I'm a hero, I've always admired your determination of what you're fighting for, the way you fight, your power never fails to amaze me!"

"I've been watching you on the sideline for a longtime and the only reason I even bother to stay in the commission is for me to have a chance to fight and be closer with you one day!" The water hero finished his ramble with a deep breath.

Charm was puzzled and astonished at his behaviour.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you my sweet Charm~ I know who you truly are. [Name] my dear best friend, I am wounded that you kept this side of you away from me" Aquaㅡ or Kai says as he looked at them straight in the eyes.

Their [E/C] widened at the realization that the one they were currently facing is their dearest friend, Kai Shizumu.

"You're one to talk! I didn't know you are a heroㅡdoes that mean that youㅡ"

"Knew that Yami is also a villain? yes, I've figured it out by now how you two managed to grow close at a short period of time" He says and getting up, stepping towards them and they backed off defensively.

"What the hell is going on?!" Speaking of the devil, Yami or Nyx arrived at the scene after he noticed Charm's absence and went to look for them.

Aqua turned to face Nyx and calmly greeted him to which he was sent flying from where he was standing and towards a building by Nyx's strong punch.

"Ouch using violence already? You villains are bunch of brutesㅡ except for my darling Charm of course!" He said while laughing.

Nyx was disgusted at the hero referring to his beloved in such a loving way and it only fueled his anger towards him for making Charm distraught.

"Who the hell are you asshole and what have you done to my partner?!" He says while shooting arrows of darkness towards Aqua who skillfully evades it and breaks the fire hydrant and controls it to attack Nyx.

"Such vulgar ways to address a friend, Nyx or should I say Yami?" Kai taunts the villain as he continually rainedㅡ quite literally his attack on Nyx.

The villain, having come to a realisation, growls in anger and aggressively attacks Aqua with his darkness power.

"You piece of shit! I knew you were no good for [Name]! I'll end you once and for all for being such a creep towards them" He says, charging up his most powerful attack.

Aqua laughed again and this time with an obvious insanity behind it.

"I'd love to see you try and you're one to talk too! You are a bad influence on them and are a huge creep too, you think I didn't notice you stalking them? It's essentially pot calling kettle black"

"And I'll kill you too for getting in between me and [Name], they're mine and have been since we've met! But it's fine this is not my first time eliminating homewreckers like you" He says and channeled the water underground as the ground rumbled beneath their feet.

"May the best man win!"

The two then looked at each other dead in the eye and unanimously yelled,

And the prize will be [Name], who had just snapped out of their stupor and realised the situation they're in, caught in a crossfire between an obsessed partner in crime and an equally obsessive hero and fanboy of yours.

Who will win in the end?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[gracebutnotgraceful]

change - ted lasso

pairing: ted lasso x gn!reader, no Y/N but use of ‘babes’ and ‘dear’

warnings: language, drinking, birthday-scaries 

word count: 1.3k

notes: sorry again for no fic last week, it was a very stressful very busy week!!! hopefully this makes up for it! my birthday is coming up soon and i’m not big on celebrating, so this is incredibly self indulgent haha but i hope you enjoy!!! 

summary: you don’t like celebrating your birthday. ted finds a way to change that. 

You’d never been the biggest fan of birthdays, and year after year Keeley tried to change that. This year seemed to be no exception. Keeley letting you pick the place you guys were going to meet for your birthday dinner should have been your first hint. Despite your best efforts to dissuade her, you were pretty sure you were getting a surprise party. Walking into the jam-packed   pub, you were certain of it. You were greeted by a mismatched shouting of ‘surprise’ and Keeley running up to you wearing a pink feather boa.

“Babes! Happy Birthday! I know you said not to, but I just want to celebrate you! Come on, let’s go get you a drink,” She drapes a bright purple boa around your own neck before grabbing your hand and pulling you over to the bar. 

“Happy birthday, dear. First one’s on me,” Mae set a pint in front of you with a smile.

“Thank you, Mae,” you smiled in response as you picked up the glass. Keeley put her drink on her tab and led you over to a table. Rebecca, Roy, Beard, Jane, and Ted were all waiting. 

“Woah, didn’t expect to see you all here,” you joked, giving Keeley a side-eye.

“Come on!” She slapped at your shoulder. “At least act like you’re enjoying yourself.” You playfully rolled your eyes as you two sat down. 

The others at the table greeted you, a chorus of ‘happy birthday’ ringing out before transitioning to conversation. 

“Wait, wait, he had the team dump an entire cooler of that stuff on you? Ted! Gatorade is so sticky! That’s disgusting!” You laughed.

“I would fucking murder someone.” Roy added.

“Can’t say I didn’t think about it,” Beard responded, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Aw, Beard. You know it made for a good memory.” Ted chuckled.

“I’ll never drink orange gatorade again, Coach.” He answered. 

“Speaking of drink,” you lifted your empty glass, “I’ll be back.” 

“Hey, I got it. It’s your birthday, no buying your own drinks.” Ted starts to stand. You wave your hand at him and shake your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m, uh, going to stop by the bathroom, too.” You smile.

You walk towards the bathrooms at the back of the pub. With a glance back at the table to make sure no one’s watching you, you slip out the back door. The air is cool, and it’s just what you needed. You take a deep breath, leaning against the side of the building.

You were glad that Keeley went small, only inviting your mutual friends from work, but some part of you still felt uncomfortable. You knew you’d have to go back inside soon to keep from looking like you’d left, but it was nice to just have a second to yourself. You looked up at the sky. It wasn’t a super clear night, but you could still see some stars. You spun around at the sound of the door opening behind you. It was Ted. 

“You know, sneaking away is a lil’ less obvious when you don’t look back,” Ted joked. You gave a small laugh in response. He held your gaze for a minute, studying you. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” you sighed. “I hate celebrating my birthday, I guess.” You turned to lean your back against the wall again, looking back at the stars. Ted walked over to stand next to you, following your eyes upward.

“I managed to gather that. You got a reason why?” He shook his head. “Wait, you don’t have to answer that if it’s too personal. I get it.” 

“Oh, no, no, it’s okay.” You gave him a reassuring smile. He relaxed a little against the wall. “Birthdays just feel like the day you’re supposed to reflect on who you are and, you know, how you’ve grown. I hate that. It just feels like a reminder that things are always changing, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” You look over at him. He’s watching you, holding on to every word you’re saying. 

“Change.” He shrugs. “Supposed to be a good thing, yeah?” 

“Then why is it so fucking scary?” You whisper. 

“‘Cause there’s nothin’ you can do about it,” he answers, echoing your words back to you. “Not all of it at least. You deserve a day to celebrate, though. Why not think of your birthday as another year of getting through all that scary change you can’t control?”

“That might make it a little better,” you agree, smiling at him. “Thank you.”

“Hey, what are friends for?” He responds. “You ready to get back in there and celebrate?” 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” You nod, following him back inside. 

“There you are! So much for a drink and the loo.” Keeley raised an eyebrow at you.

“Gosh, I think I got lost.” You replied with a sheepish grin. 

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I just wanted to let you blow out your candles.” she replied. You pulled her into a hug. 

“Thank you for always celebrating me,” you whispered. She squeezed you back.

“You’re my best friend. Of course.” she answered, pulling the cake across the table so it was in front of you. “Now I did swear we wouldn’t sing, but you do have to make a wish.” You laughed, closing your eyes and thinking before opening them and blowing the candles out. 

“Oh, what’d you wish for?” Ted asked as you handed him a slice.

“Are you crazy? I can’t tell you! It won’t come true!” You exclaimed. 

You talked and laughed with the group for a little while longer as you all devoured the cake. As the night grew later people began to break off to head home, first Beard and Jane, then Rebecca. 

“Are you gonna be okay? We can take you home,” Keeley asked, gathering her things as her and Roy prepared to leave.

“Don’t worry about it. I can walk them home!” Ted answered for you. You smiled at him. Keeley wagged her eyebrows at you when Ted wasn’t looking. You pretended you didn’t notice.

“Thank you, Keeley. Good night!” You gave her a hug before they left, leaving you and Ted. “And thank you,” you turned to him, “for tonight. The conversation and walking me home.”

“‘Course. You ready?” You nodded, grabbing your things before stepping back into the cool night air once more. 

The walk to your flat was short but filled with conversation. With Ted, it somehow came easy.

“You know,” Ted began, watching as you sifted through your bag for your keys, “I’ve still got your gift.”

“Ted! I told you you didn’t need to get me anything!” you answered. 

“Yeah, I know,” he laughed, “but you knew I was going to get you something anyway. It’s small, I promise.” He sets his bag down, opening the small part in the front and pulling out a DVD. It’s not just any DVD, though, it’s the special edition of your favorite movie.

“This is not small! I’ve been looking everywhere for this!” You exclaimed. 

“Well, the search is over.” He responded. “And our conversation…well, our conversation and a conversation I had with Keeley earlier, got me thinking. Would it make you feel better about another year of change if we started it off by watching your favorite movie?” He asked, suddenly looking a little nervous.

“Ted Lasso, are you asking me on a date?” you asked. 

“Only if you’re saying yes?” He gave you a smile. 

Oh, Keeley. She swore she wouldn’t tell Ted about your feelings for him, but she didn’t swear she wouldn’t meddle in it. You made a mental note to thank her later on.

“Hmm, I’m saying yes.” You smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. “You know where the DVD player is. I’ll get us some popcorn.” 

[columboscreens]

Thoughts on Revival!Columbro?

okay anon you asked for it--my big boy post

so first and foremost the thing about columbo is that while good columbo is outstanding tv, even bad columbo is still watchable tv. there are exceptions like the universally-detested no time to die, in which nobody even dies (presumably due to lack of time)...

this episode is only good for daniel davis, dan butler, and seeing columbo dance like an animal crossing character in a tux. with an unfortunate dye job no less

...but usually at worst they're just Fine. it's more that the OG series sets the bar so high that you can't help but feel disappointed with the newer episodes. columbo at its zenith contains so many excellent moving parts that the modern episodes feel cheaper, including, probably most upsettingly, falk's performances. sometimes they ring true to our old boy and sometimes they're...pretty phoned in.

that isn't to say that there are no stellar revival columbos! columbo goes to college, rest in peace mrs. columbo, columbo cries wolf, all in the game, amongst others all fall under the scope of (mostly) respectable reboot outings.

now i'm biased because 2003 is still fresh in my mind and it's fun to see columbo in the world that i remember best, but i'm a pretty big fan of columbo loves the nightlife. it's in many ways a final return to 70s form--a little kooky, but rooted in more quiet drama vs the weird screwball tone the 90s was after. also i'm not subjected to swells of cheesy music or a forced THIS OLD MAN motif every three minutes which is a massive plus.

plus he does a ton of bizarre old man shit and it's wonderful

that said, as mentioned in the post linked above, there are many valid reasons to enjoy a latter-day columbo that don't relate to the quality of the episode. yes we know the plot is godawful. yes norm from cheers is a terrible murderer. yes all these minor characters are awful and wooden and this writing is wretched and oh my god whose idea was it to make every musical cue this old fucking man

and yet you still just want to see columbo himself in new situations, which was always like half the joy of the show anyway. we want to see him solve crimes but also maybe fish a rat out of a dumpster or wear crazy pants. you never know

both of these episodes are at the bottom of the heap but worth watching for...well. whatever this is.

so...why is the latter series a nadir for columbo? for lots of reasons, but one i would most culpably peg to falk himself--his egregious flanderization of columbo. between that, the wacky 90s scores, the odious gags, and the cartoonish characters, the new series is borderline a kid's show.

columbo at his truest is a silly little guy with a sense of humor. he doesn't take himself too seriously, but takes his work deathly so. the result is a generally sweet, affable, yet relatively straightforward and subdued disposition. this fine characterization, along with the superb casting around him, made him seem living and breathing, grounded in our world.

reboot columbo is not. he is much of the time a shell, a caricature of his old self. not columbo, merely trying to be. it's my understanding that falk got bored of playing columbo the same way all the time, but the new approaches he tried were more miss than hit. a certain gravitas was lost. his face locked in an infuriating Perma-Squint, he mumbles something incomprehensible, picks up a tuba, and then floats into the sky. he is no longer on the murderer's nerves. he is on yours.

this scene isn't even bad in concept, i would've killed to see 70s columbo whipping out the high school band kid skills. it's just done so cheesily that i can feel my blood pressure rise when i look at it

the old series sort of very lightly paws at the prospect of the paranormal without forcing it. it's interesting, it's thought-provoking. maybe he is just a really sharp guy, but maybe he's got a sixth sense, who knows! lieutenant how did you get into my car

in the new series, columbo at times makes these insane assumptions which dissolves that sense of "chase" and verisimilitude that made the OG series so good. original columbo is sharp and will do everything it takes to catch you. he starts from square one and makes deductions, his conclusions and means to the end seem logical and practical, albeit at times "extra".

neo-columbo knows you did it just by smelling you and shows up in your living room at 3 am cross-legged on a levitating magic carpet with his eyes aglow humming ancient druidic chants

(now that i've described that i kinda wish that were true)

anyway that's what's lost in the newer series, the whole kernel of what makes columbo good--being grounded in some element of reality, respecting the viewer's intelligence, and leaving them to fill in their own blanks as the credits roll.

there were lots of directions in which they could've taken the character in old age. but going from "rambly guy who skillfully pantomimes being a space cadet" to "actual cartoon character who does little but squint and hammily bumble around"--especially when he starts growing old enough to make that less endearing and more concerning--not only doesn't work, it feels like an insult to the character they'd carefully crafted. at the risk of sounding melodramatic, you're almost left with a sense of betrayal.

sorry sir. it's terribly bright in here...

only slightly subordinate to the poor characterization is the writing quality. or lack thereof, that is; between budget constraints, catering to a different crowd, and general dip in quality in american TV, you have some scripts that are irredeemable. the NBC columbo staff treated each episode like a carefully-crafted film and ABC treated each one like a wednesday night sitcom. it shows. instead of holding onto the high production quality that made the show great, they made it like any other middling, budget tv movie series of its time, at times (mid 90s especially) veering into hallmark movie territory.

originally, levinson and link themselves would come up with story ideas, clues, and "gotcha"s, and then forward those ideas to talented writers like steven bochco, peter fischer, et al. to churn out new scripts. in the newer series, they'd recycle old cutting room floor scraps, use old, rejected scripts, and option other mystery/procedural plots into which they'd shoehorn columbo (ed mcbain's 87th precinct birthed two of the most horrendous of them--no time to die and undercover).

what sick fuck asked for this. who ever wanted to see geriatric columbo get sucker kicked in the face. bye

i could say even more but this post is already entirely too long-winded. i guess i'll give an honorable mention to falk's second wife, shera danese, who i consider an underrated thorn in this show's side. her columbo performances are distractingly bad. despite this, he kept nepotistically sticking her in every other episode which wears very thin very quickly. it's the cherry on top.

anyway tl;dr latter-day columbo is generally cheesy and flanderized but not always. it sometimes even pulls off a win, harking back to the glory days of yore. it's still worth a watch (or a skim at least), and there are always things to enjoy about it. even undercover is worth a peep, if only for tyne daly, harrison page, and...this.

lookin good, king

[writing-for-life]

@parasocialite, I’m also tagging @violetoftheendless in this because she chimed in on this earlier, and I am spinning trying reply to everyone.

I can only speak for myself, but it is a bit like what I already wrote somewhere else, and what @orionsangel86 also brushed upon:

The fun side of fandom and the deeper contemplation/analysis of works/characters are seemingly often presented as mutually exclusive, when (at least to me), they are two sides to the same coin. I often think, wrong as I may be, that problems seem to arise if we are very deeply anchored in just one of those sides and see the other as either less than, or an attack on what we hold dear?

So for me, deeper analytical engagement is far from bringing me no joy. Actually the opposite, even if I discover things that are maybe not just “fun”, but point towards deeper issues. And just looking at silly gifs or amazing fan-art without thinking about it too deeply also brings me joy. Again, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

What doesn’t bring me joy are the things I mentioned (personal attacks, directly or indirectly trying to silence people etc), and I tend to step away for a bit if I think that's beginning to take over (as I said, no fandom is worth losing mental well-being over). However, if everyone just constantly stepped away from problematic behaviours without ever saying anything, the fandom will also become poorer for it, plus it skews the view on "what's consensus". The loudest group isn't necessarily the one who always gets it right (or wrong, for that matter). It's simply the loudest group.

I don't so much have a problem with characters/characterisation. I can look at Hob, see him as canonically problematic and talk about it, but that doesn't mean that I have a problem with people who like Hob or ship Dreamling. There are people in the fandom, however, who perceive criticism of Hob as criticism of them, and that *is* problematic. In the same way, I don’t have problem with anyone who doesn’t go into a raging fit about Thessaly and can just see her as a character (which seems to be a far bigger issue for the fandom tbh). @violetoftheendless mentioned the meta I wrote about it, and it ultimately boils down to what I also wrote under 2) in this post: We have to be able to separate characterisation from personal endorsement of what characters do. Accepting Thessaly as an inherent part of the story doesn’t make anyone transphobic, nor does accepting Hob as an inherent part of the story make anyone racist:

It is how we engage with the deeper questions that these characters present us with that’s far more telling. Thessaly goes against the self-image that much of the fandom likes to perpetuate (“the queer academic”, and I’m one myself, so this isn’t a slight), so transphobia always creates immediate outrage. Why doesn’t Hob’s racism cause the same outrage? Yes, perhaps it helps (or is it convenient?) that Hob as one half of the typical fandom M/M ship regrets, and that makes him “more okay” than the murderous witch who doesn’t. But does it really? Because at the end of the day, they’re both just characters, aren’t they? They’re both written to hammer a certain point home. I think you can tell where I’m going with this…

What is the goal? I don’t know, I can only say what’s important to me. Mutual respect, thinking/breathing before hitting “send”, accepting that not everyone shares our views, that people are in fandom for different reasons and they’re all okay, understanding that not every critical thought about our favourite characters or works is a personal attack, and that critical discourse can ultimately foster growth and not stagnation, would be good starting points? Because that way, fandom can be fun for *everyone*, no matter how they personally approach it I guess?

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

(tagging @violetoftheendless )

[wkemeup]

Sunrise (3)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.2k warnings: none 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

Bucky stared down at the fresh coffee stained on the sidewalk; a caramel puddle nestling into the cracks and stretching along the lines until it spilled out into the street. He could smell the bitterness and the sweetness in the cream, the steam of it still warm as it filtered up into the cold, autumn air. He cursed at himself under his breath.  

You’d looked so beautiful, even with your eyes wide in shock and lips parted in a gasp as coffee spilled to your shoes. Dressed under an army green overcoat, a sliver of a burnt orange sweater peaked out from underneath. He’d seen that particular shade before, cast over a forest of evergreens and reflecting into the clouds, just above the sun as it set over the tree line.  

But he’d made a fool of himself in front of you and he could still feel the burning in his ears. He felt hot under his jacket and he found himself glancing down the street, wondering if he could make a run for it. Only, you were waiting for him inside and Bucky couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing you.

Gathering what remained of his courage, Bucky parted the double doors and stepped inside. It took a minute to let his eyes adjust, but when the dim lighting came into view, he noticed you were standing by the entrance waiting for him like you’d known he’d decide to follow. You beamed as he caught sight of you and his stomach twisted straight to knots. You were still clutching the donut box to your chest, almost as if you were afraid he’d knock that out of your hands, too.  

“Come on, you can help me set up.” You gestured down the hall to the room he met you in a few days prior. The library with no books on the shelves and cobwebs in the corners. “We’ve got to get you a book before the others show up.”

Bucky nodded, though he didn’t say anything as he followed you. It was pretty quiet without so many people lingering around, but everyone seemed to smile as you approached; perking up from under their clouds and called out your name until you waved back at them. It was like you carried sunshine in your pockets and comfort in your presence, breaking away stormy skies as you passed by.  

Before you could reach the library door, Bucky rushed out ahead of you and grabbed a hold of the knob. You paused, eyes catching his for a moment and a pink filtered into his cheeks. He cleared his throat.  

“Figured I could do one decent thing today after I ruined your shoes,” he explained, pulling open the door for you.  

“You showed up, didn’t you?” you added with a wink. “I count two decent things today, James Barnes.”

He chuckled at that, nodding. “Y-Yeah, okay.”  

You set the donuts on the coffee table and began to push the furniture around into a circle. You shouldered most of your weight into the couch to get it to budge and Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips just watching you. Concentrated frown on your face, determination in your eyes, staring down the couch as if it were your sworn enemy.  

“You need help with that?” Bucky asked, gesturing to the couch that barely moved a few inches while you were out of breath.  

You glanced up at him over the spine of the couch, nodding gratefully. “This one always gives me trouble.”

“I’m sure if you waited for the others to show up, they’d help you move these around,” Bucky said as he placed his right hand on the back of the armrest, his knee digging into the center of the back. You stood next to him, hands on the frame to help push despite the fact that Bucky was strong enough, even without his left arm, to move the couch on his own. But he liked the idea of you beside him, so he didn’t say anything.  

“Oh, I’m sure they would,” you exhaled as they couch slid perfectly into place within the circle. “They all work so hard though, you know? It’s nice to have them just walk in and sit down for a change. Don’t need them thinking I’m expecting work out of them, too.”

“Ah, so that's why I’m here, then...”  

He was surprised by the teasing in his own voice. When was the last time he made a joke? He couldn’t even remember. But you started to smile, that brightness shining right up into your eyes, and it didn’t matter anymore. He’d make a thousand jokes if you would keep looking at him like that.  

“Careful now,” you warned, a glimmer in your eye. “I might need you to help move this couch every week...”

“Wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?”  

He didn’t know where this was coming from or how it slipped off his tongue so easily, but he liked the way it seemed to catch your off guard. You stilled for a second, a nervous laugh under your breath as you quickly tucked away a few strands of fallen hair. You were flustered. Shit. He was done for.  

“Haven't even seen one meeting and you’re offering to move couches for me on a weekly basis? Consider me eternally grateful, James Barnes.” You plopped down on the couch, reaching for the strap of your bag, though it was a few inches out of reach.  

Bucky leaned down and picked up the bag, surprised to find it as heavy as it was, and gently set it in your lap. He took a seat on the couch on your left, though he left considerable room between you. You started digging through the bag, pulling out book after book and setting them on the table.  

“We’ve got to pick your book of choice,” you explained, smiling at him and clearly eager to see what he would select. “Anything you want. I can get something else from the library for next week if you’re not interested in these. I’ve got some guys reading Harry Potter for the first time. Lang’s on the second Twilight book. Romanoff is halfway through The Odyssey. Barton’s about a few pages to the end of a murder mystery he guessed the plot twist of within the first ten pages, which is just downright infuriating...”

Your nose was all scrunched up and it was the damn near cutest thing Bucky had ever seen. He must have been staring for too long though, because you raised a brow at him.  

Bucky cleared this throat, quickly looking away. He scratched nervously at the back of his neck and tried to steer the conversation strictly away from how adorable he found you.  

“Isn’t the point of a book club to read the same book?”

“I suppose,” you shrugged, “but not my book club. The whole point is just to help these guys feel comfortable, give them a moment of peace, even if it’s for an hour once a week. Sometimes we’ll sit around the circle and talk about what we’re reading. Lang’s working really hard to sell the Twilight books to the rest of the group despite being about a decade late to the game. Most times though, we just read, listen to some music. It’s quite nice, actually.”

So that was what Sam meant by unconventional.

“I don’t know the last time I read anything,” Bucky admitted slowly. He could barely get himself to concentrate on a single newspaper article these days, let alone an entire book. He often caught himself staring at the TV and realizing an episode later that he didn’t have a clue what had happened.  

“A lot of the guys take breaks,” you offered, seemingly reading his mind. “That’s what the donuts are for. Oh, and the coffee, of course.”

You jumped up, making your way over to the pots sitting on the table lining the wall. The pots were already filled and he wondered who took the time to do that for you before you even arrived. You were so well liked around here, Bucky found himself wondering if he wasn’t the only one who felt like you could tell him to do just about anything and he’d oblige without question.

“You want some?” you asked, holding up an empty cup, but Bucky shook his head. He was already starting to get warm and adding coffee to the mix wouldn’t help things.  

You didn’t seem to mind as you shrugged off your jacket and draped it by the door. The orange sweater he’d caught a glimpse of under your jacket turned out to be a cardigan. It flowed long down by your thighs, draped over a simple, white tank top and black jeans. Gold jewelry sat over your collarbone and you had a sudden glow about you, like that hour just before sunset.

Golden hour, he realized. That’s what you reminded him of.  

“It’s warm in here, isn’t it?” you asked, fanning yourself as you set the coffee on the table. “It’s not just me?”

It’s definitely you, Bucky thought. He’d never met anyone who carried such a presence as to melt the icy cold shards planted defensively around his chest. You were the epitome of warmth and kindness and the sweetest damn thing he’d ever seen... but a trail of sweat lined his hairline and he could feel the heat trapped under his jacket.  

“Not you,” Bucky confirmed, brushing at his brow. “It’s hot.”

“Here,” you stood up, holding out a hand to him, “I can take your jacket for you.”

Bucky froze, jaw clenched. He became painfully aware of the empty sleeve on his left side. He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew you must have noticed by now, but taking the jacket off made it obvious that a piece of him was missing, the stub at his shoulder the only thing left in place of an arm he could still feel most days.  

“I’m, uh, I’m okay,” he stuttered out, his eyes falling to the ground, hoping you didn’t notice the flush in his cheeks. He could feel your eyes on him and he was almost certain that if he dared to look up at you, you’d be fixated on his empty sleeve.  

Shame started to burn hot in his chest when suddenly he felt a cool breeze on the back of his neck. When he looked in search of you, he found you setting up a fan at the edge of the room, angling it just enough so that it was sure to reach him on every rotation.  

He swallowed as he watched you. You didn’t ask questions or push him to take the jacket off despite being clearly too warm to keep it on. Instead, you offered him a short smile as you sat back on the couch beside him, a little closer this time.  

“Any better?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s, uh, that's really nice. Thanks.”

You smiled for him and he wondered if he could stay inside that moment forever.  

***

Bucky selected The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Gilman from the stack of books on the table. It surprised you as his hand ghosted over the cover before flipping it over in his palm, a curious look on his features. It was one of your favorites, one not many would choose to pick up in fear of the publishing date in the late 1800s, but it was a short story, one he could finish within the span of the meeting today.  

As he stared down at the unusual yellow pattern on the cover, a frown pushed at his lips as he started to see the strange images hidden under the surface. You found yourself struggling to tear your gaze away from him. With such a reaction to the cover, you couldn’t wait for the end of the meeting just to hear what he thought of the story.  

Soon, the usuals started filtering into the room and you noticed that Bucky had barely said a word as the low hum of small talk and chatter filled the empty space. He kept to himself, perched on the very edge of the couch cushion like he might run at any second as you talked with one of the oldest VA members by the door.  

Upon sensing his discomfort, you quickly made your way back to the couch and you were surprised when you felt the cushion dip a little as he leaned in your direction as if he was using you as anchor; something familiar amongst an unknown. You tried to suppress a smile when he looked at you, but you really liked the idea of being something familiar to him.  

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” you told him quietly, nudging his side playfully with your shoulder. It drew a soft laugh from under his breath and he nodded, gripping tight to the book.  

“Yeah, me too.” He sank back into the couch and relaxed the tension in his body.  

Six on the dot. You turned to the group.  

Tony Stark sat in his usual throne, legs draped over the arm rest, sitting sprawled out over the single chair. Heir to Stark Industries, he’d enlisted himself in rebellion against his own father. He’d ended up in the Air Force for three tours and prided himself on the tattoo on his chest he’d gotten drunkenly off base in his early twenties.  

Natasha Romanoff found her place sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning up against the seat of Tony’s chair. She was a sort of a mystery to you, never spoke a word about her position within the military and how long she served, but she was exceptionally perceptive. Part of you wondered if she was some sort of super spy. Despite becoming a close friend, there was still so little you knew about her history. She rested a pillow in her lap.

Then, there was Scott Lang. He’d found himself in some trouble after his discharge, but he was turning his life around. He had a little girl to stick around for and he was trying desperately to find a job. You suspected his fascination with the Twilight books stemmed more from an unbreakable bond with his daughter than anything else. He took his place on the bean bag chair.  

Clint Barton sat on the table outside the circle. He was a sharp shooter in his time and found more comfort in the distance. He kept to himself and had an exceptionally entertaining habit of making quick remarks under his breath few were fortunate to hear. You were determined to hand him a book with a plot twist not even he could see coming. You resided to put Defending Jacob by William Landay on hold.  

A few others filled out the circle; familiar faces of men and women most would look past on the streets. Dark circles under their eyes, a hardened look about them. Some with tattoos and long beards, other’s draped in leather. Some, you could see the ghost of their former selves in their eyes, but they all seemed to lighten as they sat around the circle.  

A moment of peace. It’s all you could offer and they took it gladly.  

“Hey everyone. We’ve got a newbie in today.” You gestured to Bucky and he slowly lifted his hand in an awkward wave. “This is Bucky. Bucky, this is the group. Play nice.”

“What’s your rank, soldier?” Tony quipped from his chair; legs kicked out over the side. He never had much of a filter, or a sense of restraint. You shot him a glare he didn’t seem to notice, or rather he didn’t care.  

“Sergeant,” Bucky clarified, though you could hear the strain in his voice. He said it as though it burned him, like the very act of the title was painful just to speak.  

“Where’d you serve?”

“Tony, we’re not grilling the new kid today,” you warned, but Bucky cleared his throat.

“Afghanistan mostly.” He curled his hand into a fist, pinching at the pages of The Yellow Wallpaper in his grip. A hardness had swept over most of his features, almost in a protective layer, and you wanted to whack Tony upside the head for stealing the soft undertones in his expression.  

“And the rest?”

Bucky paused, releasing his fist. “Classified.”  

Tony pursed his lips, staring Bucky down over the top lens of his thick rimmed glasses. A testament of wills. A challenge. Then, he nodded, satisfied.  

“Great,” you groaned, rolling your eyes playfully. “Now that Tony here has finished interrogating our newest member, we can get started.”

“Hey, consider it my welcome to the group!” Tony hands thrown defensively in the air. Scott nodded from his couch, remembering his own initiation the day Tony demanded to know the extent of his robbery charges following his discharge.  

You shook your head, smiling spreading back to your lips and you were thankful to find that Bucky had sat back into the couch, relaxing as the attention moved back to you.  

“I think we’ll just spend today reading,” you said. “I’ll put on the playlist Tony recommended – and don’t worry, I did browse through to make sure he didn’t slip any rock anthems in again. We don’t need to give Dr. Selvig down the hall another heart attack when Back in Black starts blaring directly after Yiruma.”

The room laughed and you were purposeful in glancing over at Bucky to see if a smile caught on his lips. It was small, a little uncomfortable as his eyes flickered around the room at the other group members, but he seemed to soften as he landed on you again. You nodded at him.  

“Alright kids, hush up now.” You pressed play and the gentle strokes of a piano began to fill the room. “I’ll wake you in an hour.”

You waited until everyone settled in and opened their books. One of the older gentlemen in the back with a long and burly white beard and a leather vest draped over his shoulders set the open novel on his chest and promptly closed his eyes for his weekly nap. You smiled to yourself as you watched the heavy rise and fall of his chest – the man deserved one decent hour of rest a week, anyway.  

By the time you made your way back to the couch, you noticed Bucky had tensed up again. He was staring down at the book, harsh breaths pressing through his nose as he tried to keep the book propped open with on hand, losing his place as he tried to turn the page. His jaw was clenched so tight you wondered if he’d bite it clean off.  

He didn’t dare ask for help or so much as look in your direction, but it was a determination you’d come to expect from the people you met in these halls. It didn’t mean you couldn’t offer it anyway.  

You quietly opened a drawer at the edge of the room, pushing aside knick knacks and old ketchup packets until you came across a small wooden clip. One of the older members had used it when he was going through extensive PT for his hand and couldn’t pinch his fingers enough to grip the thin slip of the page. You pulled it from the drawer and quickly skirted your way back to the couch beside Bucky.

“Here,” you offered, extending the clip to him as the book fell closed on his lap for the fourth time. He looked up at you, confused. You wondered if he realized how cute he looked when his brows pinched together like that; made him look about ten years younger and wiped the evidence of the war clean off his face.  

You smiled at him. “It holds the pages down for you. Look.”

Gently pulling the book from his lip, you opened to the first page and set the clip at the bottom of the binding. When you released it, the pages stayed open, giving him free range of motion to turn the page without losing his place.  

He blinked a few times as he stared down at the book. It was clear he’d never considered a tool like this and you wondered how many times he had sat down with the intention of reading only to find he couldn’t even turn past the first page. He might have been able to figure out the skill in it if he’d had the patience, but you imagined his own frustration got in the way of that. He seemed to have little patience for himself, as soldiers returning home often did. 

There was a brief moment when the tips of his fingers brushed over yours as you pulled away. His hands were warm, almost feverish in comparison to the chill in your own. A blush warmed his cheeks and his eyes quickly darted down to the pages. Your stomach was in pleasant knots.  

“Thanks,” he replied quietly, a soft semblance of a smile rising sweetly at the edges of his lips.  

You nodded, settling in on the couch beside him and pulling your own book up into your lap. You listened to the gentle strokes of the piano carrying softly through the room until a page turned on your left and then, you let yourself sink into the bindings of the book perched upon your lap.  

***

“So! What did you think?!”

It was the first thing you said as the final group member exited the room. Barely even a footstep out the door and you were already anxiously awaiting his reaction. Bucky was busy pushing the couch back into its original position and he glanced back at you to see you biting nervously on your lip, hands wringing out in front of you. You were swaying onto your tip toes like a kid hyped up on sugar. It was the cutest damn thing he’d ever seen.  

“It was... a little creepy at the end?” Bucky chuckled, glancing down at The Yellow Wallpaper as it sat on the coffee table. “The woman went completely mad.”

You nodded vigorously, the smile on your face beaming and he had to watch himself to keep from mirroring your excitement.  

"It’s a critique on how women’s mental health was perceived in the nineteenth century!” you explained with that giddy look on your face, reaching down for the book and flipping the pages through your fingers, the soft brush of wrinkled paper touching over each thumbprint. “Women were believed to be weak minded and frail, unable to handle more than two hours of mental stimulation. The woman in the story was prescribed ‘rest’ by her physician to treat her depression, essentially restricting her to little more than staring at the walls.”  

You rolled your eyes, groaning dramatically, and drawing a smile to Bucky’s face that ached into his cheeks. “Slowly, it drove her to seek stimulation in impossible places, like the image of a woman she saw in the wallpaper! By the end of the story, that’s who she became. Wild, right?”

You shook your head, seemingly lost in astonishment. There was a slight crinkle in your nose when you smiled that wide, Bucky realized, like even the features on your face couldn’t hope to contain the joy bursting from your smile. Radiated like the fucking sun. Bucky was helpless in his stance, frozen, as he listened to you.  

“You know the author once said, ‘it’s not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy,’” you continued, setting the book down with such a gentle touch, almost as if it were a living, breathing thing. You handled it with such care and Bucky began to wonder if you’d ever touch him like that – if he was worth such tenderness.  

The thought startled him and he quickly swallowed it back. Jaw clenched, right hand pressed to a fist in the pocket of his jacket. Stone cold expression. And yet – you were still talking about that book, all starry eyed and adorable, and a smile managed to crack through his lips. It was his new favorite book, he decided. Whatever could make you smile like that was his favorite. He’d sit there and read the fucking phone book if you asked him to.  

“She wrote it in retaliation of her own experience of a physician disregarding her depression. It's actually quite remarkable when you think about it. It's one of the earliest American Feminist works of it’s– ” You froze suddenly, hand clamping over your mouth. You winced at him, slowly pealing your palm away. “Oh God, I’m rambling. I tend to get a little excited about these things... You must be so bored right now.”

Bucky couldn’t help the smile as it rose in his cheeks. He liked seeing you so flustered, caught up in a passion he so rarely saw these days. He didn’t know the last time he cared about anything as much as you cared for books. He could have easily listened to you talk like that for hours without interruption.  

“No, no, not bored at all,” he reassured you and you visibly relaxed, relief sweeping through your shoulders. You started to fold up the chairs when Bucky cleared his throat, drawing your attention back. “I, uh, I did like the story, though. Has a lot of relevance today. I see why you like it.”

If he thought you were going to burst before, he should have waited to see how you were looking at him now. Chewing on the inside of your cheek in hopes of suppressing it, though it clearly did little use.  You planted your hands on your hips.  

“Watch what you say, Barnes. I’ll talk your ear off.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m already down an arm, what’s an ear, too?”

The second the words left his lips, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head; drenching his clothes, goosebumps on his ice, sinking into his veins and freezing him to stone. He woken up from a pleasant dream by the harsh ringing of an alarm. He'd been pushed off a cliff, stomach churning in the freefall.  

You knew. Obviously, you knew.  

You weren’t blind and he was certain you could tell there was a startling absence where his left arm should be, even with the poorly camouflaged sleeve hanging off his side. It wasn’t fooling strangers on the street and it certainly didn’t fool you either, even if it gave him an ounce of peace, like maybe he could pretend he was whole again.

But you’d brought him that book clip for a reason.  

You knew.  

At yet, this was the first time he mentioned it aloud. Actually said the words. Drew attention to the fact that he was a broken mess of who he used to be and now he was waiting for you to flinch, for the familiar shades of pity and embarrassment to cloud over your starry eyes, but he waited and waited and – it never came.  

Instead, you started to laugh.  

It filled the room and washed away whatever panic was surging inside of him within a matter of seconds. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard and he wished you didn’t shield your hand over your lips in an effort to contain it because – God – he could have spent his whole life sitting in that moment. Tears in your eyes, a smile on your face, looking at him like he was the man he was before the war, like he was something worth looking at.  

“You’re funny, James Barnes,” you said after you caught your breath again, a whisper of a laugh still lingering in your voice. You brushed the tears from your eyes.  

Bucky’s chest felt instantly lighter. His right hand was swinging down at his side and he brought it up to his hair to brush it from his face.  

“I could use a new book for next week,” he started, a little surprised at himself, and judging by the look in your eyes, it surprised you too. But you were smiling at him and it gave him the courage to continue. “Thought maybe you could help me find something?”

“Really?” you asked, practically glowing. “You’ll come back next week?”

He’d do anything if you kept looking at him like that.  

“Yeah,” was all he said, but you looked as though he told you he’d just told you he won the lottery. Maybe he had.  

“Well then, I’d be happy to! Just, um, hold on a second,” you scrambled around the room, looking for a pen and paper. You clicked a pen a few times before doodling in the corner to get the ink moving. When you were finished, you handed it to him. “These are my hours at the library. Come by anytime, okay? If I’m not up front, ask Mrs. Jefferson to page me. She’ll know who you are.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, staring down at the scribbled numbers. Did you talk about him at work? Butterflies swarmed in his stomach at the thought. He wondered what kinds of things you would say about him.  

“Walk me out?” you asked, grabbing your coat from the rack and gesturing to the door. Bucky looked up, not even realizing the room was already set back in its original formation, the empty box of donuts discarded.  

He nodded, following you to the door.  

“You know, I’m really happy you decided to come today,” you said as you passed into the hallway. Bucky kept an even pace at your side and tried not to let the butterflies in his stomach escape to where you could see.  

“Almost didn’t,” he admitted with a tired chuckle.  

“Figured by the staring contest you were having with the building before the coffee incident.”

Bucky winced, but you were smiling as he looked over at you and he felt the tension slip from his muscles instantly. “I am sorry about that...”

“Maybe you can just owe me a coffee,” you suggested casually, as if the prospect of spending time together, just the two of you didn’t make the butterflies crawl a little further up into his chest. “A real one. Not the shitty stuff we serve at the VA.”

Bucky swallowed, pushing the creatures back into his stomach. His throat was dry. “I can do that.”  

He pictured sitting across from you at a café, watching your hands curl around the outside of a mug, the steam of it brushing on your nose. Glistening in the reflection of the sunlight peaking through the windows, draped in the glow of the sunset. He’d buy you a thousand coffees.  

“Okay, well, I’ll see you soon then?”

Bucky looked around and realized suddenly that he was standing outside. The cold breeze had turned into a frigid autumn chill with the sun nearly set behind the skyline. Peaks of orange remained at the horizon, mimicking the colors in your sweater. When he looked down, he could still see the stain of coffee on the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, determined to push past whatever doubt etched into his way. It faded in an instant as he saw your lips curve up high into your cheeks. “I’ll see you soon.”

[todrokishoto]

bnha boys x tickles

character(s): bakugou, deku, denki, kirishima, todoroki

warning(s): tickles, blood (nosebleed), swearing? 

a/n: random idea i had. enjoy this hc/scenario thing while i work on some longer fics. p.s. i’ve never really written headcannons before so idk if i did it right lmao

B A K U G O U 

mans isn’t ticklish 

trained himself to tolerate it bc being ticklish is for the weak 

won’t tell you that tho bc it’s a valid excuse sometimes ok??

like,,, let’s say you’re tracing mindless patterns on his abdomen right

the two of you are just lying on his bed in his dorm room

and while it might have been innocent enough on your part

he can’t help but be... flustered as your hand moves awfully close to the waistband of his pants 

feeling his cheeks heat up, straight up refusing to let you see how much your touch affects him, he swats your hand away with a grunt

“that tickles, dumbass,” he huffs, his voice slightly strained. you pretend not to notice. 

your eyebrows lift upward in surprise at his statement. not once had he ever mentioned he was ticklish. propping yourself up on your elbow, you let your eyes trail over his features, studying him. 

his eyes are closed but only after mere seconds of feeling your gaze, they open back up. his crimson orbs stare into yours, neither one of you breaking the prolonged silence. you, frankly, didn’t want to. bakugou, on the other hand, refused to - fully aware his voice would betray him again. 

he couldn’t believe he had just lied about being ticklish. but, letting you believe your soft touches had tickled him rather than admitting they made him feel things he know he shouldn’t seemed like the most logical option. yes. there was no way he’d reveal his less than innocent thoughts. 

“what?” he grumbles, quirking a brow questioningly. “take a picture. it’ll last longer.” 

you fish your phone out of your pocket, holding it up above him. “okay—” 

your words turn into a squeal as he smacks the phone out of your hand and grabs your arm, pinning it above your head. he hovers above you, eyes full of mischievousness, his teeth exposed by the grin dancing on his lips. you stare back up at him, eyes wide, body tense as you attempt to gauge his next movements.

“how ‘bout a taste of your own medicine, huh? since you seem to find it so funny.” 

and before you can protest, his fingertips dig into your sides, eliciting careless giggles from you as he tries his best to find your most ticklish spots. 

K A M I N A R I 

would tickle you on the daily just to hear your laugh

pls he’s a total sucker for your squealing giggles. they’re his favorite

this boy will find any excuse to tickle you; pinching your sides, blowing raspberries on your stomach while lying in your lap - you name it 

one of his favorite ways is to use just a teeny tiny bit of his electricity, making the ticklish that much more unbearable 

we all know his love language is physical touch, so he just can’t help himself really

but don’t even think about tickling him. boy will practically screm bloody murder and literally run away from you like a child running away from their parent when it’s time for bed 

you’re bored. so bored, in fact, that you’re even thinking about purposefully provoking your boyfriend’s explosive friend just for some entertainment. you quickly scrap the idea, not feeling like being the target of his harsh words today. 

your boredom quickly dissipates, however, as the yellow locks of your boyfriend come into view. he’s chatting animatedly with kirishima and sero, his back facing you. you put a finger to your lips as a pair of red eyes look at you curiously. luckily, the redhead understands and says nothing as you sneak up to the table they’re currently seated at. 

“hey, babe!” you greet loudly, your voice dripping with fake innocence. 

before he can turn around, your hands are at his sides, pinching and poking with all their might. an odd sound - something between a gasp and a grunt - escapes your boyfriend at the feeling and he flails his arms, desperately trying to escape your hold. 

you underestimated just how ticklish your electric partner is, it seems. because before you can dodge it and sero can warn you, denki pushes his chair backward, knocking you over in the process. your boyfriend whips around immediately at the sound of your body colliding with the floor. 

“oh my god, baby, i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean—” his apology trails off at the sound of your loud laughter. 

you’re clutching your stomach with one hand, attempting (but to no avail) to silence your laughter with the other. denki rubs the back of his neck, eyes full of confusion, while he tries to regain his breath from your surprise attack. once again, he catches you off-guard as he crouches down next to you, his fingers finding your tickle spot with ease. 

your laughter gets louder and he smirks. “not so funny now, is it?” 

K I R I S H I M A

mans has a hardening quirk

aka he can just harden his skin, so tickling him is basically impossible 

once in awhile, when he knows you just want revenge for the times you’ve been tickled by him, he won’t activate his power 

but still, he barely chuckles, which makes you frustrated™

he doesn’t really tickle you on purpose that often tho bc that’s not manly

will tickle you accidentally while rubbing your arms or breathing on your neck while cuddling 

you’ll squirm in his hold and he will just apologize with a laugh and hold you tighter

you sigh, shuffling ever-so-slightly, stuck within your boyfriend’s tight grasp. the two of you had been cuddling on one of the sofas in the common room, but he had succumbed to his exhaustion and had fallen asleep next to you.

normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. you had no issue being his pillow once in awhile and his cute, little snores made it impossible for you to wake him. today, however, he had fallen asleep in the crook of your neck and his soft breaths were tickling you. with every exhale, your body tensed as you tried your best to remain still.

“kiri,” you whisper, his nickname slipping past your lips with gentleness. “babe, wake up.” 

he stirs at the sound of your voice, his breathing halting momentarily. you wait in suspense but he only buries his face further into your neck, a long breath fanning against your exposed skin. you squirm instinctively. your movements must have alerted something in him because he begins shuffling shortly after. 

you can’t see his face but you can tell by his breathing that he’s slowly but surely waking up. you practically hold your breath, praying that he will move before you have to voice your discomfort. unfortunately, luck isn’t on your side it seems. 

“kiri, i love you, but please move,” you plead, pushing against his chest softly. his red eyes are filled with confusion as he props himself up to look at you. “you’ve been tickling my neck for the past fifteen minutes. i was going insane.” 

he pouts then. “aw, babe, you should’ve told me. you could’ve woken me up, y’know?” 

“yeah, i know,” you sigh, rubbing your neck where his breathing had been just a few seconds prior. “i just didn’t want to wake you, is all. you’re so cute when you sleep.” 

“you’re cuter,” he quips enthusiastically, poking your nose with his index finger. “okay, your turn to cuddle me instead. i’m not ticklish so lay wherever you want.” 

M I D O R I Y A

i feel like this broccoli bean would be ticklish everywhere?

either that or he’s not ticklish at all

maybe his body’s been beaten so many times that his nerve-endings are either overly sensitive or they barely feel anything 

idk™ BUT

sweet, freckled little izuku would also not tickle you without consent

we stan a respective king 

he would be so careful to apply a little bit of a firmer pressure to not tickle you

sweetie had been to flustered to ask if you were ticklish when you first started dating and it was too late to ask now 

you’re sitting next to him on the gras outside of the doors, relishing the feeling of the nice evening air against your skin. the two of you are chatting mindlessly. well, izuku’s doing most of the talking and you’re mainly listening, but you don’t mind at all. 

his arm is grasped between your two hands as you gently trace the scattered freckles and scars adorning his skin. he had been so flustered when you had grabbed it, unable to will the redness away from his cheeks. you had only giggled in response. 

izuku didn’t know why you seemed to be so fascinated by his scars. you had always asked questions about them, wondering if he remembered where he got them. always made sure to call him handsome on days where he was particularly bothered by the markings on his body. 

he loved it. he loved you. 

but as your continue to trace them, your touch featherlight, he can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine. he squirms, his hand clenching together and forming a fist. you take notice and halt your actions immediately. he turns to look at you, meeting your wide eyes. 

“did i do something wrong?” you ask quietly, feeling the guilt claw its way to your chest. 

“no!” he practically shouts, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. he clears his throat. “n-no, you didn’t. it’s just that... heh. i’m, uh, kind of sensitive in certain spots, i guess? and while i really don’t mind you touching my scars, you were so gentle and i-i just... it tickled.”

his chin tilts toward the floor, his bashful gaze flickering away from yours. you notice the pink dusting across his freckled cheeks but decide not to point it out, desperate to make your boyfriend feel at ease again. 

“zuku, say that next time! i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to tickle you. i didn’t even know you were ticklish, to be honest.”

he rubs his neck, peering over at you once again. he grins sheepishly. “i-i never told you, i guess. usually, i’m able to resist the urge to squirm, um, like that.”

“you’re so cute!” you gush, grabbing ahold of his hand once again. “i’m ticklish too, y’know. but i’ll let you find my tickle spots on your own.”

and, for the umpteenth time that night, your boyfriend blushes as he thinks about exploring your body to find your very own tickle spots. 

T O D O R O K I 

we all know he had a shitty childhood fck u endeavor

he never had tickle fights with his parents or siblings when he was little

so poor bby probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish until you accidentally find his weak spot one day

let’s say you’re both cuddling in your bed right?? and things are getting a little heated 

so,,, you detach your lips from his, placing a kiss on his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck

and let me tell you - this poor boy doesn’t know what to do 

he tenses up immediately, slamming his chin down to protect his exposed neck, his jaw banging against your nose in the process 

“y/n!” he calls out immediately, chest heaving, his body still tense as if on high alert. he reaches out to you when he spots you holding your nose, your brows furrowed in discomfort. “i’m so sorry. i don’t— are you alright?” 

you nod, releasing a hum to confirm your response. your nose is throbbing, but when you open your eyes and meet shoto’s wide bicolored ones, your pain subsides quickly. poor boy looks so helpless - torn between reaching out for you and distancing himself. 

“hey, sho, it’s okay. i’m alright,” you remove your hand clutching your nose to shoot him a smile but you stop midway, noticing the crimson liquid on your palm. 

“you’re bleeding,” your boyfriend observes quietly, the guilt obvious in his voice. “i hurt you. i’m so sorry. i... what you did made me feel weird and my body just reacted. i, uh, i’m sorry.” 

he scrambles out of your bed, reaching for the box of tissues he knows you have stashed in your desk. he hands you a handful of them, awkwardly lingering by the foot of the bed as you wrap the paper over your nose, clamping your fingers shut around it.

you shake your head with a gentle laugh. “sho, it’s okay. i didn’t know you were ticklish there. i can’t really control what my body does when i’m tickled either, so i don’t blame you.” 

“ticklish?” he repeats aloud, almost as if testing out the word. 

you nod, the innocence of your boyfriend once again surprising you. you feel your heart ache slightly at the thought of him not knowing what the action is. had nobody ever touched him enough for him to find his tickle spots? 

“yeah. most people are ticklish somewhere on their body. usually either on their waist, their armpits, feet or neck - like you. it’s normal. typically, when people are touched where they’re ticklish, they’ll squirm and laugh.” 

he nods and you remain quiet as he processes the information. then, much to your bewilderment, he leans forward and grabs ahold of your side with his fingertips. he pinches gently and you jerk, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend smiling harmlessly. 

“so, is that your tickle spot, then?”  

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.

[mrs-march-ahs]

CONGRATULATIONS ON 900 !! 🥺 you deserve every single follower and you’ll be at 1K in no time!! we love you so much!! please don’t put too much pressure on yourself!

you don’t have to do this at all and it’s kind of lame but,,I’d love some evan hc’s with a (gn or male) reader who just- loves spoiling them? truth be told all of these boys have been through a lot and I just wanna take care of them yknow so 👉👈

Reader Spoiling The Evans

THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! That’s sooo sweet, thank you babey<3 it’s mostly gender neutral, until half of Kai, i’m really sorry about that, but i couldn’t really think of many ways to spoil him, there are still a few things for Kai that are neutral!!

I did very specific snuggling with Tatey because @tatesimper wanted it, no problems, I got you darling<3

ALSOOOO I just really quickly wanna say that I made a 

roleplay account for James March and Kai Anderson called @murder-daddies,

if you want to send a message on anon (or off!) or follow, that’d be great! I thought it’d be really fun to have an rp account:)

okay, enjoy! :)

--

Tate

-Loves being spoiled with your attention more than anything else -Any sort of praise or reassurance makes him soft and blushy -He loves cuddling and would melt completely if you initiated cuddles -Him standing at the end of your bed and you open your arms - “c’mere” -He’ll timidly climb and crawl over to you and flop in your arms -He’d love to hold hands with you as you cuddle together -He would love to hear you read to him -Give him big slobbery kisses “mwah” -Obviously listen to him when he talks -Rub his back -Let him lay on your boobies/chest and play with his curls -Share your snacks with him, but feed them to him and he’ll love it -Perfect scenario is watching a film or documentary, Tate laying between your legs while you shovel popcorn into his mouth

Kit

­-The best way to spoil Kit is to do things for him or make things for him -He’s grateful every single day that you make dinner and says thank you every single day - “She’s pretty, she can cook, is there anything you can’t do?” -Baking cupcakes or cookies for him is one of his favourite treats as Kit has a huge sweet tooth -Kit loves when you buy him little gifts, even like flowers -Though you don’t have much money, so maybe stick to baking -Although Kit loved when you bought cigarettes for him, or lit them for him, or even occasionally smoked them with him, he would be willing to quit if you wanted him to -You would have to help him and support him to the nth degree -He would come home frustrated after a long day and not have anything to calm him down since he’s trying to not smoke -Let him take his frustration and anger out on you:) -Also tell him that every time he gets an urge to smoke he should kiss you -Which leads to your cheeks always being wet -Listen to him rant about work even though you don’t understand any of the specifics

Franken Kyle

-If you give him literally anything he will treasure it, because you gave it to him so it’s special -If he’s supervising (trying to help, but really just watching) as you cook, you have to give him a spatula to stand and hold so he doesn’t feel useless -He’ll stand there and take his job of holding it very very seriously, and if you take it from him to stir, you have to put it back in his hands -If you put it on the counter, he won’t pick it up he’ll just whine until you give it back to him -He absolutely adores soft cuddly things, so every stuffed animal you give him he cherishes -He earns a present when you leave him with somebody else while you have to go do adulty things -Even though you obviously can take him everywhere if you wanted to, sometimes it’s just easier to leave him at home while you quickly go out and buy food or sort things out -If you leave him with somebody, he doesn’t interact with them much and only needs them to keep an eye on him -But he’s always very whiney when you leave, so if he’s a good boy and stays at home with Cordelia or Fiona, then he gets a stuffed animal brought back -They will not leave his arms, even during dinner -He’ll try very hard to bring them into the bath with him but you won’t let him, so you compromise and leave the stuffed teddy on the sink, facing Kyle so he can watch him have a bath -If you give Kyle a kiss goodnight you have to also kiss the teddy -Kyle loves to cuddle up to you and absolutely loves when you play with his hair or stroke his shoulder or something -Whines if you stop touching him, even for a second to scratch your nose -Wants to be the sole focus of your attention -And he always is

Jimmy

-That boy is a snuggle machine -He loves having you close like most of them do -But he specifically melts at kisses -A single kiss on his cheek or his hand will make his entire day -He’ll automatically smile and put his hand to his cheek where you kissed him, before promptly regretting it as now he can’t feel the imprint of the kiss anymore -Loves when you show you listen to him -He’ll tell you that he’s super worried about doing a certain new act, but he’ll be rambling while you brush your teeth, assuming that you’re not even listening -But then the next day you’ll go with him to the main tent and give him a big smooooch on the cheek and tell him that he’ll kill at his new act -His whole face will light up, not even realising that you really were listening to him -He’ll be so happy and confident from your kiss that he’ll do great at his new act -To really treat him, take him somewhere -He loves the reassurance that you aren’t embarrassed to be around him -He also loves drinking so -Take him to a diner or bar, or to be super special, maybe for his birthday (June 23rd), you could take him on a mini vacation -Save up, and if Miss Elsa is in a generous mood, she can give you a few pennies to help you out -Most likely pay for the taxi to the hotel you booked -Jimmy loves spending time with you so he’ll adore being on a one-on-one holiday with you and just you -Have lots of sexy fun time

James

-He yearns to be with you, feel you, smell you and touch you -Spoiling him with attention and affection will make him melt inside -He also wants to feel comfortable and safe around you -Being there for him and listening to him when he’s a little down or frustrated about something means the world to him -He adores to listen to you too -Before going to bed you take it in turns to talk -Because you love his voice so much he will lay in bed with you snuggled at his side and read aloud The Great Gatsby, or a different book he’s reading -Either a literary classic or a murder mystery -If it’s your turn, you’ll snuggle up to him and stroke his hair -His hair when wet gets a little curly and you tease him about it -Wrap his little curlies around your fingers as you tell him a story about a strong knight in shining armour saving a princess called Y/N from an evil dragon - “Isn’t that a little juvenile, darling?” - “Do you want to know how it ends or not?” - “Apologies, please do continue”

Kai

-The best way to make Kai feel spoiled is just to not make his ‘job’ any harder than it already is -Don’t resist pinky powers or murder missions and just listen to him and be obedient to him -He’ll feel so much more comfortable around you if he doesn’t have to constantly fight with you -Although he wants strong people in his cult, he wants sheep that are devoted to him a lot more -If you murder somebody near him, you’re showing that you’re hard and strong but just be sweet to him -The sweeter you are to him the more vulnerable he’ll become towards you -Letting him talk to you about his parents and how he feels, even if his thoughts don’t make much sense -Honestly, the biggest compliment is Kai coming to talk to you about his feelings, even if his thoughts and feelings don’t make sense -Because if he has it all figured out, he already thought about it for a long time by himself -But if he doesn’t know what to think himself, then clearly he values your input and needs you to help him figure things out -Willingness to do everything for him -Listening to all of his plans and only contributing if he wants you to -I’m sorry, I know you requested gender neutral but the rest is about making babies, Kai is hard -If you’re willing to start a family with him he’ll convince you that the only holy way to do it is to get married first and do it properly -He’ll probably never ask you to marry him or be his s/o, because that’s a little cheesy -He’ll just take you out and take you to a jewellery store with some savings and ask you which ring you like, and then take you to get married -He’ll tell you and reassure you how good of a cause it is that you’re giving him a Messiah -You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a woman -Obedient to him but defiant against everybody else

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

taglist<3

@milly-louise  @amourtentiaa  @kitwalker02  @tatestripedsweater  @therenlover  @maria-akira         @tatesimper  @margaretboothsear  @mossybank  @ahsxual  @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess  @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan  @kitwalkerangel  @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt  @blackbat2020 @divinerulerluvr  @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash @kaismessiahbb @elaineygrace

[jungkxook]

—demon-etized. (m)

⟶ pairing: namjoon x reader

⟶ analytics: youtuber!namjoon / ghost-hunters au / smut

⟶ words: 6,260

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ warnings: idiot ghost hunter bts, ghosts making namjoon horny ig?, slight exhibitionism, fondling, fingering, standing sex, unprotected sex, creampie

⟶ description: in this episode of unsolved, namjoon and the boys risk their lives by spending overnight in an abandoned and supposedly haunted asylum in the hopes of finding some ghouls — but the boys are pretty certain the real reason for the spooky moaning isn’t allowed to go on youtube. ***warning: very scary!!!***

⟶ pinned comment: this is part of the not clickbait series!

“Well, this has been fun. Let’s go home now.”

You were starting to think this was a very stupid idea ━ but stupid would be an understatement. The looming asylum standing before you with nothing but the darkened midnight sky in the foreground acts as a foreboding omen that you’ve seen one too many times in pretty much any horror movie. The creepy abandoned estate offering itself up as a seemingly perfect and totally innocent means of adventure for a group of friends only to end in murder or a demon possession should have been enough to scare you all away. Fortunately, you’re not the only somewhat sane person (and you say that very loosely because you did, after all, agree to come with the boys), because you’re both startled yet thoroughly relieved to hear the worried statement coming from a very tense-looking Jimin.

It really was a stupid idea. Spending overnight (which, really, just translates to a few hours and a clickbait-y title for the video) in a supposedly haunted and derelict asylum from the early 1900s offered all sorts of problems that weren’t just supernatural. Squatters, creepy cult members, and risking getting whatever sorts of diseases are riddling the walls of the ancient dwelling were starting to get to you. But it was Namjoon’s idea to come here for his next video upload especially when considering the fact that for the entire month of October he and his group of YouTuber friends host a fan favourite ghost-hunting series titled Unsolved ━ and, whatever Namjoon usually suggests, the boys usually tag along with, no matter how daring or how stupid it may be.

“We literally just got here,” Hoseok retorts as he hops out of one of the two cars you and your friends had shared on the way here. It was a three hour drive from the city with the estate being much larger than you expected it to be, four main buildings sprawling out amongst empty fields. At least the stories of its creepy atmosphere are all the same. Was it the cool autumn breeze sending chills down your spine or something else entirely? The moment you stepped foot out of the car and gazed upon the asylum, it was almost as if you could feel something watching you. But that was definitely just you imagining things. “Don’t be a pussy, Jimin. What’s the worst a ghost is gonna do to you? Rattle some chains? Ooooh, spooky.”

“Okay, first of all,” Jimin rounds on the older boy almost immediately, “vaginas are the strongest muscles in female anatomy, so I’m not being a pussy. Let’s get it right, okay? I’m being a little bitch, and I embrace it. Second of all, if a ghost does rattle some chains near me, I will definitely be booking it back to the car and leaving all of you stranded here.”

From beside you, Yoongi snorts amusedly. He’s the resident non-believer amongst your group of friends so you always wonder why he even bothers to come to these things. He says it’s to help filming, but you think he’s banking on maybe one day seeing a ghost even despite all that charade of hostility. Even now, he’s already filming for the vlog, getting shots of the building but also mostly just Jimin and Hoseok’s banter in the background. “If a ghost does anything tonight, I’ll be genuinely surprised.”

“Something is going to happen tonight. I can feel it,” Jungkook says confidently. He’d been huddled over the opened side door of one of the cars with Namjoon and Jin, sifting through their high-tech equipment that you’re certain they just bought off of Amazon or something. “This place is one of the most haunted places near us. Have you even heard the stories? Apparently there are two most popular ghost sightings. One is some girl━”

“Is she hot?” Taehyung asks.

“She’s dead,” Jungkook deadpans. “Also, pretty sure she was eleven when she died from tuberculosis. Anyway, she’s more of a benevolent ghost. They say you can hear her laughing sometimes. There’s a lot of activity in one of the kids’ rooms. And the other sighting is less friendly. They just call it a shadow man because it’s hard to see its face, but you can always see an outline of a person walking by in one of their treatment buildings. There’s even been physical attacks, with one person saying they got scratched by an invisible force.”

Jimin visibly winces. “Sounds very much like a demon than a ghost to me.”

“Sick!” Hoseok exclaims. You’re worried to find that the group’s morale (aside from yours and Jimin’s) isn’t any less vivacious than when Jungkook started his story. “This is gonna be awesome.”

But you can’t help but to roll your eyes, your feigned boredom really just a weak attempt at hiding your own fright. “Oh, shut up. That’s such bullshit.”

“Is it?” Jungkook quirks a brow, challenging you.  

“Well, whatever happens, we’re gonna catch it.” This confident statement comes from Namjoon. After he hands out the pieces of tech to the rest of his friends, he glances upward at the asylum with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Come on. Let’s find us some ghosties.”

As the group begins to follow Namjoon towards the nearest building, Taehyung can be heard wolfishly quipping aloud, “Time to rock and roll, ghoul boys! And, er, girl.”

“Don’t call us that,” Yoongi grumbles.

It’s comforting to hear the rest of the group erupt into fits of entertained laughter, but any banter is quick to subside as you walk up to the building. You’re relieved when Jimin decides to hang back with you and doesn’t seem to protest when you start to cling to his arm as you’re all ushered through the main entrance of the building and into utter darkness only broken apart by the dim glow of your flashlights. If you weren’t already so frightened, maybe some of it would be comical, like the way the front doors creak open so very slowly in suspense.

Under Jimin’s breath, you can hear him mumbling in chagrin, “We should have gotten holy water.”

As your eyes adjust to the darkness within, you’re able to make out that the inside is just as horrifying as it was on the outside. Dust and debris hang heavy in the air and on the ground, and almost every inch of any surface within the building is covered in graffiti works of art. 

“Oh, fuck that,” Jin scoffs. “We only just stepped foot into here and this place is already giving me goosebumps.”

“Aw, sweet, bro! Check this out!” Hoseok says abruptly, startling almost all of you. He’s standing a bit further off down one hall, beckoning the rest of the group to follow. As you approach him, you can make out what sort of graffiti marking on the ground has suddenly grabbed his attention. “Who wants to lay on the pentagram with me?”

“No one,” You retort.

“I will!” Jungkook says at once, much to your dismay.

Yoongi lets out an audible strained sigh. “If any of you fucks get possessed and kill me, I’m never gonna forgive any of you. Just letting you know ahead of time.”

“Yeah, what are you gonna do?” Hoseok asks. “Come back and haunt us?”

“No, I’ll be dead. Ghosts aren’t real,” Yoongi says. “But I will still be very angry.”

“Noted.”

Before Jungkook or Hoseok can haggle Yoongi into filming them laying on the pentagram drawing and potentially offering their souls up to whatever demon lays waiting beneath it for their souls, the group is moving on. You explore the first bottom half of the building together in a tense silence before making your way up the dilapidated stairs to one of the treatment rooms that Jungkook makes certain to point out is where the infamous shadow figure is often seen. Taehyung decides to suggest, “Should we try the spirit box?”

You almost groan aloud. You fucking hate that thing, for obvious reasons. 

Whether or not you believe in it, the loud gurgling noise is always unsettling and you’re already on edge. Still, you sit back with Jimin as the rest of the boys nod in agreement and fiddle with the piece of tech until it’s been turned on. You’re immediately met with a cacophony of crackling radio static so deafening that your instinctual reaction is to cover your ears. You refrain miraculously, but you still cower in one corner with Jimin as the boys listen intently to the noise.

“Is anyone here?” Namjoon calls out to no one in particular. “If you are, can you give us a sign? Move a chair or say something or push Yoongi━”

“What the━?” Yoongi gawks. “Why me?”

“‘Cause you said you don’t believe in them.”

Yoongi clamps his mouth shut, and nods in a way that admits Namjoon has a point. At that moment, there’s a pique in the static, a jumble of inaudible words that almost sounds humanlike.

“What was that?” Hoseok asks. “Sounded like… It almost sounded like it said ‘leave.’”

“Leave?” Jimin squeaks. “Think we should take that as a sign, guys.”

“Nah, I definitely heard Steve, not leave,” Yoongi says.

Jungkook frowns. “Who the hell is Steve?”

“Maybe that’s his name,” Yoongi suggests nonchalantly. “Be nice.”

After a handful of minutes of even more strained silence, the boys are only able to discern certain words that you’re positive don’t have anything to do with the asylum or ghosts. At long last, they shut the machine off and the room is once more plunged into a formidable silence so dense that you almost miss the spirit box. But almost as soon as the piece of tech has been silenced, does Jimin cry out in pure anguish. “What the fuck was that?”

The boys instantly round on their startled friend who is now cowering behind you. The colour has all but drained from his face, eyes wide in a frenzied panic.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks.

Jimin looks hysterical as he shoves a pointed finger in the direction of the wall opposite the room in the corridor. “I swear on my life I just saw something move out of the corner of my eye over there. Like a-a person o-or something. Looked like a shadow. I don’t know! I thought it was one of you guys━”

“Stop it, Jimin.” Your voice treads on apprehension as you look over at the alarmed boy. “You’re scaring me.”

“Yeah, ease up, Jimin,” Namjoon says, though he seems more entertained than anything. “I’d prefer if you didn’t throw my girlfriend headfirst towards a demon or ghost or whatever it is you saw.”

“Joon.” His name rolls off your tongue in a scolding moan as you rub wearily at your eyes. His words do little to help console you, and you’re certain it fairs even worse for poor Jimin.

“I’m sorry. I just━” Jimin pulls you tighter in front of him. “I swear I saw something. Holy shit.”

Jungkook’s the first one outside the room, his own camera in his hands as he goes to investigate. As the rest of the boys file outside in the corridor, you drag Jimin along with you, favouring not to be alone in any part of the building. You can hardly see anything, let alone a shadow. 

Jungkook turns back around at long last, a devious grin on his face as he finds Jimin’s wandering crazed stare. “Maybe it was the shadow man. Told you he exists.”

“I don’t care what it was. My heart almost fell out of my ass,” Jimin gasps. He clutches at his chest over his heart, for added emphasis. “Let’s get out of here.”

You aren’t quite sure if the boys believe him, but you do notice how quick they are to move on from the room and corridor. A palpable tension hangs heavy in the air that makes you realize perhaps the boys are starting to lose their cool under pressure. 

As you reconvene below on the main floor of the building, Namjoon pipes up. “Let’s split up. See if we can find anything on our own.”

“Okay, Scooby Doo,” Jin snorts. “You do know that this is how every horror movie begins, right? There’s power in numbers.”

“Yeah. Which is what we’ll all be saying when this video reaches trending on YouTube with a million views,” Namjoon says, matter-of-fact. “Which we can only do if we get some interesting content. So, let’s split up into pairs of two. We’ll meet back here in an hour.”

“We could just fake it,” Jimin suggests desperately. “Like every big YouTuber does. The magic of editing, guys.” But no one seems to be listening anymore as the group begins to splinter off. Yoongi and Jungkook decide to venture back upstairs in pursuit of the elusive and supposed shadow man, while Hoseok and Taehyung wander outside. Lost and dumbfounded, Jimin gawks around at his retreating friends, calling out in one last effort, “Anyone? …No? Okay, cool.”

He nearly lets out a yelp when Jin clasps a hand on the boy’s shoulder in a reassuring manner. “You’ll be okay, Jimin. C’mon, let’s go.”

Finally alone with Namjoon, he offers up his outstretched hand to you. You take it at once, gripping his palm a little tighter than necessary as he pulls you towards him. 

“You doing okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” You lie, even though you know he can see right through it. 

You’re content to find that he at least keeps your hand in his even as he tugs you along with him to explore the rest of the asylum. You decide to leave the building you’re both in and wander to another one where you stumble upon Hoseok and Taehyung on the main floor briefly. Then, making your way upstairs, you find nothing out of the ordinary but empty rooms that you suspect were once upon a time sleeping quarters for the patients. It’s less frightening than the other buildings, though still a little unnerving the longer you stay to explore. You climb the stairs until you’re on the third landing and inspect almost every room to find nothing. 

At some point, you let out a wavering sigh. Namjoon is busy waving around an EMF reader in a room. It’s empty aside from a dusty cot and a broken wardrobe, amongst a few other oddities covered in a thick layer of cobwebs and dirt. You could have sworn you’ve heard footsteps in almost every room you’ve entered that wasn’t either yours or Namjoons, and the strange sensation that you’re being followed hasn’t been able to shake from you. “Joon? Can we go back now? I’m starting to get a little spooked.”

Namjoon comes to a halt at once, turning around to face you. He gives your palm a comforting squeeze. “Hey, you’re okay. There’s nothing to be scared of. I don’t mean to sound like Yoongi but I highly doubt we have to worry about any ghosts.”

“Well, what do you think Jimin saw?”

“Who knows?” Namjoon shrugs. “It was probably just his imagination. Your mind plays tricks on you in the dark, doesn’t it? Here, let’s talk about something else to distract you.”

“Like?”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as Namjoon considers another thought. You don’t even realize the smug smirk unfurling on his face until it’s too late. “Well… I had an idea earlier. Just a passing thought, really, but I bet it’d be fun anyway.”

“What was it?”

“We could probably have a quickie in one of these rooms and the boys would never know any different.”

You nearly choke at this, sputtering for air as you reach out to flick Namjoon’s shoulder. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No,” You admit sheepishly. He places his hands on your hips then, pulling you delicately towards him in a manner that makes it hard to focus now. “But I don’t know how I feel about ghosts watching us. Also, the couple that has sex in any horror movie usually ends up dying first.”

Namjoon shakes his head at you, albeit a little amused at your worrisome thoughts. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you. At least not while I’m here.”

“Coming from the man who tripped going up the stairs at your dorm the other day,” You point out tauntingly. The distant reminder and the sound of his abrupt laughter is enough to momentarily soothe your hammering heart. 

Namjoon gasps, feigning a look of mock hurt. “What’s that supposed to mean!”

“Means I love you very much but I don’t know how well you’d fair against ghosts or demons.”

“Ahh, I see how it is.” 

He sounds mildly offended and pokes his fingers at your sides but, in the ensuing scuffle to flee from his grasp, the both of you trip and fumble until you’re pressed up against the nearest wall, the sound of your snickers like music to his ears. He comes colliding against your front, hands digging into your hips. He leans forward to kiss your lips slowly, feeling you smile against him. A delightful chuckle bubbles at your mouth and he parts from you in the next moment wiggling his brows suggestively while a teasing smirk stretches at his face so wide, his dimples start to poke through.

“Wanna?” he asks. 

It’s a simple question, weighing heavy with dirty implications ━ and honestly? You’re kind of into it. Or maybe that’s just because he returns to kissing at your lips, only this time at the corners of your mouth, then the underside of your jaw. Tantalizing motions that seem to make your head spin violently. Your head lolls back against the wall behind you as he droops his head to your neck, lips meeting with the soft flesh of your throat to suck a delicate blossoming hickey there.

“Okay,” You rasp, “so maybe we can spare some time for this.”

“Ah, so now you’re interested.” His voice is huskier now, muffled by the way he busies himself by nipping at the same spot on your throat. He hears your breath hitch, feels the way you part your legs just slightly enough to have him sink further against you. He marvels at your decision in the morning to throw on a skirt and a pair of thick wool tights. At the time, you had said it was because the weather wasn’t too brisk outside just yet; now, he was thanking you silently for unknowingly picking just the right outfit for the occasion. 

“Namjoon…” Your voice is strained now, a mix between a plea and a whine and he grunts against your neck.

It takes Namjoon a moment to rack his brain, realizing that he finds it hard to even form a proper sentence anymore. “Don’t even need to feel my dick in you. Just wanna get you off, baby. Can I?”

You’re already practically drooling. “Think the boys will notice if we’re gone a little longer?” 

“Who cares?” Namjoon quips. “Jimin’ll probably think we got possessed and lost in the demon world or something.”

You giggle, though your voice splinters off into a soft moan as he continues to nip and suck at your neck. His hand falls to your thighs then, fingers brushing upward faintly until he meets the short hem of your skirt before disappearing beneath it. His hand comes to grasp at the delicate curve of your ass, his palm hot and firm against your soft flesh. 

He groans into your neck. “Been dying all night to touch you.”

“Then don’t stop.”

If the way his hardening cock now forms against your inner thigh any inclination, you don’t think he has plans on doing so. Instead, you watch as he lifts his free hand to your mouth, fingers tapping at your lips in a wordless motion. “Open up.”

You do as you’re told, lips parting just enough to wrap around his two fingers. He gazes at you with hooded eyes as you suck at his digits, tongue laving against the sturdy form in your mouth until his fingers are coated thick with your saliva. His other hand, still attached to the rump of your ass, moves like water over your skin to your thigh once more, nudging you aside just enough, pinching delicately at the skin there; he pulls his fingers from your mouth then, then lets the same hand venture under your skirt in a similar fashion. He wastes no time in pushing aside the material of your panties, pressing his digits at your core, watchful eyes staying fixated on yours if only to watch your every expression. His dampened fingers slide over your folds, spreading them open, running across them, admiring the way your stickiness already forms between your legs. 

“Joon…” You cling to him tighter, both to steady yourself against the sudden ministrations and to shield yourself more from view, though you’re certain there’s a slim chance the boys will come across you and Namjoon like this. You hope.

Namjoon’s fingers slip past your folds then, slow and steady as he feels the tight constricting walls of your cunt. You throb around him, thinking only of his cock, imagining the girth of it fitting snug deep within you. The similar stretch of your walls, the fluid motion of his length burrowing in and out of you, wrecking you into shambles. Now, Namjoon wriggles his fingers upward, scratching at a spot within you that has you writhing against him, the slick wetness of your arousal sufficiently coating his fingers. His thumb finds your clit then, running small circles against the small bundle of nerves.

“So wet,” Namjoon moans, resting his forehead against yours. He notes the way your teeth sink into your lower lip, and pulls his free hand out from under your skirt to tap his fingers against your chin. “Gonna moan for me, baby? Let the boys hear you? Maybe wake the dead?”

“You’re such a brat,” You simper through a shuddering breath, and if you weren’t so consumed by him then maybe you would have laughed at the joke he manages to squeeze in at the last moment. But he’s not wrong. What’s the point in keeping silent in an abandoned building that you’re positive only you and your friends are currently occupying? How much longer do you expect to keep quiet, when the way he’s making you feel begins to slowly burn at your insides? 

He curls his fingers deep in you, and your jaw unhinges in a silent gap. You wonder how long you can last, face burning with every passing second as he fingers you closer and closer to your high. Your hips jut outward to meet his hand with every motion, grinding against his knuckles in a desperate need to get off. You’re shameless about it too, fingers gripping his shirt tightly, brows scrunched together in hardened dedication. 

“Such a pretty little mess,” Namjoon hums. “Want you to cum on my hand, baby girl.”

“Fuck, Namjoon━” You whimper now, head lulling back as he twists his fingers further in you. 

But, as soon as you do so, the echoing sound of footsteps has your eyes darting to the darkened corridor. You make out the sound of oblivious chatter, and the familiar voices of Taehyung and Hoseok echoing from somewhere down below. They must be two floors down, though you can hear them screaming at nothing in particular, except for a string of profanities that meet your ears.

“Jesus, fuck!” That definitely sounds like Taehyung, voice shrill with worry. 

“Chill!” There’s Hoseok, but you think he was also screaming moments ago with Taehyung. “It’s just a spider.”

“I don’t care! Get it off of me!”

“Bunch of dumbasses,” Namjoon shakes his head rigidly, a fleeting grin forming on his face that is quick to fade as he curls his fingers upwards further into you. And, while your attention is somewhat fixated on the boys, you find yourself treading a fine line of not giving a fuck as Namjoon’s fingers stay buried deep within your cunt. Still, Namjoon can sense the slight urgency in your demeanor when your hands wind around his neck to tug at his hair, as if to gesture to the strangers that he already knows are nearby. 

“It’s okay,” he murmurs reassuringly, voice low enough for only you to hear. “You’re doing so good, love.”

He slows his fingers almost to a halt as you burrow your face in the crook of his neck. Your walls continue to clench around his fingers, and he adds a third finger to stretch you out just enough in a teasing leisure manner. He does it on purpose too, this much you know for certain, as he pinches playfully at your waist. It’s lewd, the idea of him fingering you out in public like this but the emboldened adrenaline coursing through your veins doesn’t want him to stop. By now, your high overwhelms everything else, causing you to writhe against Namjoon as he cradles you to him. You cum moments later, your orgasm overcoming you before you can sense it, trembling beneath his hands as he continues to finger you through it. Warm, wet arousal leaks from your core, coats his fingers all over as a punctuating whimper of his name tumbles from your lips.

“That’s it, baby,” he says gently. “Let everyone hear how dirty you are. Let it all out.”

Your thighs shake, squeezing shut around his hand, and all he can do is rub soothing circles into your hips with his free hand. He waits for your breath to steady, as the coil in your belly loosens, instead taking the time to admire you to your fullest, drunken hooded eyes glazed over in that perfect expression he loves.

“Want your cock in me now, Joon,” You whine breathlessly. The whining persistence in your voice excites Namjoon, only amplified tenfold by the way you begin nipping and sucking at his neck. 

“Now?” he asks.

“Now.”

Almost instantly, there’s a noticeable shift in his expression, a shit-eating smirk tugging at his mouth. You smother the rest of it before it can become too smug, folding your lips over his. Still, he hums through your eager kissing, “Yeah? Gonna let me fuck you like this, love? Take you raw against this wall, right here, right now?”

“Yes, please,” You mewl. Growing restless, you beg silently, “Namjoon.”

“Better make it quick then, hm?” 

You can only nod, still in a daze from the orgasm that still courses through your veins. Namjoon’s quick to oblige, pulling his hands from your heat and wiping your slick wetness off on his thigh. Clumsy hands between the both of you fumble to undo the button of his jeans, hastily undoing them just enough to free his straining cock from within. He wedges himself between your legs, hiking your skirt farther up your thighs, and he hurries to free his length from its confinements, wild locks spilling out onto his forehead and into your own line of sight. You push his hair up and away from his face, though your fingers grip suddenly at the roots of his locks when he grips your thigh and hoists it up to his hip, and then pushes himself into you at once, the tip of his warm cock easily coaxed by your already wet walls. He moans into your neck but muffles it halfheartedly by kissing along your throat.

“Easy there, boy,” You snicker, though your own words are a weak drunken slur, drowning out into a muffled whimper as he thrusts himself into you all the way. His hips meet yours roughly, grinding against you as your walls stretch around his throbbing cock.

“I’m needy,” he whines. “Just wanna feel you around me.”

He wastes no time in moving again, pulling his hips back only to thrust into you, adopting a steady fluid pace in such a way that has your head lolling back against the wall, and your mouth popping open in a silent moan as you shift beneath him. The wall of the building behind you is rough and jagged but you don’t feel it, not with the way he continues to thrust into you. His fingers dig into the flesh of your thigh, stretching you apart in such a way that has him pummeling his length into your core just right. 

“Fuck,” he grunts into your neck. Impatient hands move to yank your shirt up to your chest, pulling your bra down just enough for your breasts to pop out. He moves to leave a wet trail of kisses to your breasts, catching one of your nipples between his teeth and sucking harshly at it. The new sensation has your own walls clenching around him, and he almost comes undone then. Against your chest, you can hear him murmur breathlessly, “You feel so fucking good, baby.”

“Mmm,” You tug harshly at the roots of his hair. An unabashedly loud moan nearly tumbles from your lips before you can bite it back. Elsewhere, you can hear the sound of faint footsteps once more in the far distance, Taehyung and Hoseok much closer this time (quite possibly on the same floor as you, but the opposite end), but you don’t seem to care much anymore about the potentiality of being caught. “Fuck, Namjoon━”

“You like being fucked like this?” he rasps. “Out in public, for anyone to see?”

You feebly muster a nod, lips parting in a silent moan safe for the sound of your hot panting in his ear. Hurried yet deep shuddering strokes, he fucks into you again and again until your head is spinning. Every thrust sends a jolt up your spine and, still riddled by your first high, your body is quick to turn into shambles beneath him. Your hands flail outward to grasp onto every inch of his body, hands slithering beneath the material of his shirt, fingernails to dig crescent shapes into his torso, then snaking downward to grasp at his bum, pulling him in closer each time he rolls his hips into yours.

“Joon…” Your voice is an exhausted moan when it meets his ear. He almost doesn’t hear it, instead too caught up in the way your panting breaths mingle with the crude wetness of his cock delving past your folds each time. Somewhere, once more, in the distance even closer this time is the sound of footsteps once more. The thought of someone walking in one you like this━Namjoon wedged between your thighs, drilling his leaking cock into your wet cunt and tearing you to utter shambles━does something chaotically good to you. “Not gonna last.”

“Me neither,” he gasps. “Don’t care. Just wanna cum. Just wanna feel you cum around me.”

His thrusts begin to tread into sloppy territory, fervently itching to get both of you off. You reach your second high first, tumbling towards it with open arms. You can’t contain yourself, the tempting moan dancing upon the tip of your tongue, burning in your throat as your orgasm twists at your belly. “Fuck, baby, I’m gonna━” 

But your voice splinters off into a delicious sounding whimper. Wary of being caught by your wandering friends when you’re both so close to being undone (because, really, the idea of someone else hearing you whimper because of how good his cock is exhilarates him), Namjoon’s hand clamps over your lips and you welcome it graciously, favouring the idea of his fingers poking into your mouth so that you have something to distract your moaning. It still comes, broken and inaudible, smothered by Namjoon’s hand, as your tongue lavs around his digits. 

Now, you’re truly a sight to behold, making Namjoon’s length twitch amongst your walls. Exhausted, fucked out eyes gawk at him, too weak to carry on, instead jutting your hips forward to meet his with each thrust. 

“Shit,” he whines. “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N━”

He comes moments later, frantic slaps of his own hips having him spilling his seed sloppily into your already wet cunt. The abrupt sensation as your own walls clenching so impossibly tight around him, he feels as if he can’t move, though it’s not as if he immediately plans to. Instead, after a few more rocky thrusts into you to ride out both of your highs, he collapses against your chest and you smooth your fingers delicately through his hair. 

It’s a miracle when you both manage to finally pry themselves off of one another. As Namjoon hurries to tuck himself back into his jeans, you fidget with your bra and shirt, and then the hem of your skirt, tugging it as low as it can go. His cum is still warm and sticky between your legs, slowly beginning to run down your inner thighs. 

You catch him looking at some point and ask curiously, “What?”

“Nothing,” he says innocently. “Just wondering how you still manage to look so beautiful even after having my cum fucked in you.”

You roll your eyes as you reach out to ruffle his messy hair in an attempt to tame the damage you’ve caused. He smiles wide at the effort anyway. 

“Decent?” he asks.

“Good enough,” You say. “Now, let’s find the boys before anyone notices we were gone for too long.”

And this, he doesn’t disagree with.

Later, when you and Namjoon have regrouped with the rest of the boys back by the cars parked outside the asylum, everyone looks a little more on edge than when you left them. Except for maybe you and Namjoon. You wonder if the boys notice, judging by the way you and Namjoon keep giggling amongst yourselves.

“So,” Jungkook says, “did you guys find anything?”

“Nothing,” Jin admits. “Just freaked out Jimin a little bit more.”

The boy in question can be seen scowling to himself, arms folded over his chest. “All I gotta say is screw this place.”

Hoseok looks indifferent as he reviews a recording on the camera in his hands. When he speaks, his voice is a casual drawl. “Dunno. Thought we heard some suspiciously loud moaning from one part of that building that I’m almost positive Namjoon and Y/N were exploring.”

At this, Taehyung bursts out into wolfish laughter, only prompted further by your sudden horrified expression that you try to play off nonchalantly and fail miserably at doing. So they had heard you two after all? “Ha! They sure were exploring something.”

While the rest of the boys look either intrigued or rightfully confused, Namjoon shakes his head defiantly. “Nah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Resisting the urge to hide behind your hands, you bite your tongue and try to sift through your brain for something else to discuss. Over the childish giggling sounding from Taehyung and Hoseok, you ask, “Well, did you guys find anything? Thought we heard you exploring the third floor.”

“Third floor?” Hoseok echoes, dumbfounded. “We didn’t get that far.”

“But I could have sworn I heard you guys.”

Hoseok’s brows knit together. He exchanges a look with Taehyung, then returns his stare to you. “You probably heard Tae screaming like a lunatic because a spider was on him. We were only in there long enough to try the spirit box out again, but that was on the second floor. Then the spider thing happened. Then, we left.”

Now, this is alarming. You gap at the boys as your mind tries to piece together the puzzles of this dilemma. Had you heard the boys, or perhaps something else entirely? Or maybe it was just your imagination. Namjoon did say your mind plays tricks on you ━ but the sound of footsteps had been so vivid. 

Even Namjoon looks stupefied, gawking at Hoseok. “Wait, you’re not joking, are you?”

“No,” Taehyung shakes his head. “We were filming the whole time. We can show you. Are you guys joking?”

“No,” You promise. “We were━ Erm━ We got distracted. We weren’t really paying much attention but━”

You’re fortunate when Yoongi decides to speak up, interrupting your embarrassed stammering. “So then what did you guys hear…?

A beat of silence passes amongst your group of friends. One-by-one, you each turn to look up at the haunting asylum still standing behind you, the night blurring its shape into one incomprehensible monstrosity. Okay, so maybe the ghost stories about this place are true. A shiver runs down your spine. 

Then━

“So does that mean the ghost is a Peeping Tom or━?” Jungkook asks. You wonder if you should be concerned by his serious tone.

The boys howl with laughter at the thought, though you’re still admittedly a little shaken up by the idea of a ghost watching you and Namjoon bone. Maybe you asked for it, what with deciding to have a quickie in a haunted asylum. 

“I don’t know, but can we please get out of here?” You press thinly. “Jimin was right. Screw this place.”

If the boys are as deeply unsettled by yours and Namjoon’s sudden revelation, you don’t know. You all manage to pack up your belongings and clamber in the cars in record timing, speeding away from the asylum unscathed. And if you really did just witness a ghost encounter, then you suppose it isn’t all that bad. 

At the very least, Namjoon’s video does make it to the trending page.

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[obeymeluv]

You Steal the Boys’ Clothes

Something I’ve been thinking of for a while.

Lucifer

It was rare the eldest was without his cape, as everything seemed to be a formal event and he must be dressed to impress. Being dressed to impress, however, means being clean so he gets it cleaned from time to time

Lucifer is a very organized, practical man. Constantly towing the line of obsessive for the sake of orderliness.

He knows where his cape should be, and that it’s not there

With a demon’s-only screech that warns Mammon to stretch his calves and run, Lucifer hunts down the three most likely suspects to interrogate them (Mammon, Satan, and Belphegor).

He tries to get a two-for-one by dragging Mammon into the study where Satan sits smugly with a book (because he knows he didn’t do it but MAN is he enjoying this!)

Imagine surprising not one, but THREE demons when you come shuffling down the hall with a Lucifer’s cape wrapped around you like a blanket.

It whispers and it drags and it absolutely DROWNS you.

Very charming. Ethereal, almost like some sort of wedding wear

Lucifer would’ve never imagined you’d be the culprit, and now his poor brain is trying to save and process the idea of you looking so sleepy-happy in his clothes

And the ex-angel falls all over again.

He catches the little cheek nuzzle and way you bunch it around your body, a foot poking out not to get tangled

Satan and Mammon will probably die laughing instead of at his hands, but Lucifer could really care less

Lucifer idly wonders where you’d curled up that he totally missed you, and escorts you gently but red-faced to your room

Satan and Mammon tag along, and when they see Lucifer come out with his cape they can only deduce he put you to bed.

Mammon

With no homework to do and some money in the bank, Mammon was ready to spend the weekend tearing up the town with you!

He was fresh out of the shower and mostly dressed, searching feverishly for his beloved white and brown jacket

Mammon wasn’t the cleanest person by nature (hello, money hoarder and collector of interesting/valuable things) so he tidied up as he went

As he started to suspect one of his little brothers was holding the jacket for ransom, he sent out a group text asking about it

There were several typical smart-ass responses (Lucifer, Asmo, and Satan) and he was in the middle of a snark fight when you showed up at his door somewhere between bashful and chill

In HIS jacket

Mammon’s brain shuts down.

HIS baby in HIS jacket? HELL YEAH! OH GOD, IT’S TOO PERFECT!

FIEND, TAKING HIS HEART!

“It’s kind of a human thing,” you explain. “There is a one-jacket fee among couples. Usually it’s a hoodie.” you tease, reluctant to shrug it off, “But this seems to be your only jacket so I guess I could give it back.”

It’s very subtle, but he’s worn that jacket for centuries and no amount of detergent can disguise the scent that makes his heart skip a beat

Something about the smell of your skin and a hint of his has him purring

You hold the jacket out to him. Mammon wraps his fingers around it and swings it around until he’s holding it over one shoulder

The yellow takes over in his eyes a little more. Gets a little brighter and intense.

“You want to take anything else off?” he husks playfully

Your day out turns into staying in and Mammon is happy to trade his jacket for a shirt you can sleep in (like, forever. It’s fine. Whatever, dummy.)

Leviathan

It was actually really hard to steal Levi’s clothes because he lived in his hoodie and turtleneck. His RAD uniform was really just for show and that wasn’t what you were looking for, anyways. You didn’t want to chill in uniform.

He was very particular about his merch because certain shirts were collector’s items and he didn’t like people messing with his folding patterns

You went to Asmo with your dilemma and he found it absolutely ADORABLE. It was almost enough to make him jealous, really

Somehow (Asmo being Asmo?), the fifth- born was able to swipe one of the green button-ups Levi wore under his RAD uniform

His first thought was to alter the garment to make it fit you (matching outfits? YES!) but Levi would probably kill him. His big bro hated shopping for clothes unless he HAD to have them.

Asmo gets the bright idea to magically/temporarily alter the fabric to fit you. Maybe Levi will like it so much he’ll just give you a shirt! 💖 (Or get some fucking outside time and go buy more shirts!)

Levi catches his own scent somewhere outside of the door and his brain goes off. He hits the pause button at lightning speed.

No one else smells like him! They haven’t shared bath products in centuries! He already finished his laundry so what’s happening?!

His first thought is: Mammon broke into my room while I was in the bathroom and stole something to pawn!

Levi doesn’t even think to take inventory of his stuff, barging out of his room to hunt down his big brother

He’s yelling and whining before he even sees him. Then he sees you. In his shirt.

All the angry words die in his throat as the absolute mortification and adoration sets his face on fire

SO KAWAII! It basically makes up for your normie-ness.

Levi’s stuck standing there, blushing his head off and unable to say anything as his fists shake with joy and nervousness

He gets a nosebleed. One of his brothers are laughing at him.

You guide him back to his room to take care of him, Levi lets you and becomes very fascinated with the idea of you in his clothes .Lots of petting and figuring out you look DOUBLY MEGA CUTE when the magic wears off and you’re just in a pool of fabric.

He’s totally down for matching clothes and definitely lets you keep the one you’re wearing.

Satan

His wardrobe is very...interesting...to say the least

Colors and personal combinations aside, Satan actually has a very smart wardrobe. Lots of basics and easy layers.

You can’t steal his signature green sweater or the blazer he seems to live in, so you settle for an emerald knit sweater that has a bit of a v-neck/university feel to it

It takes Satan a while to notice, as he’s buried in a book. You two tend to gravitate towards each other and just enjoy a cozy, companionable silence

He’s just finished a book and is debating cracking open one from the stack to his left when the color catches his eye

The smooth, sly comment dies on his lips when he realizes he likes the damn thing because IT’S HIS

You look very cozy and warm. It’s a very ‘cuddle me’ kind of look.

Perhaps you could warm his lap? Or give his poor hands a rest under the hem?

Very cheeky and clever. Grabs you by the sleeve of it just to ‘answer his curiosity about whether it matched his nails’.

Does he have a cute university student kink? If he didn’t, he does now?

There’s a 50-50 chance of you guys having sex.

Will definitely want to hold you and cuddle you close, petting the fabric and whispering compliments into it.

If you don’t already have a business/academic attire, Satan will definitely suggest a few pieces because YES. This is a thing he loves and it DOES things to him.

Asmodeus

He’s the type to let you think you stole something

Probably stages what he wants you to steal just so you take it

Honestly, I could just see him dumping some of his clothes on you because you’re dating now and this is a cute thing he read about!

It’s super likely he’s into couple outfits or coordinating outfits, so he’s either spent time in his closet pre-planning or asked you to try on a million things just because

This cutie pie purposely orders THE BIGGEST thing he can find so you can both fit in it at the same time

Asmo loves you to pieces no matter what, but seeing you in his clothes makes him squeal and hit a note Mammon has threatened to murder him over

Ever dramatic, this is like, THE BEST THING EVER

A MILLION Devilgram posts about it (safe ones, of course)

Do you guys spark a couple’s trend and spade of lover’s stealing each other’s clothes to snap a victory pic? Maybe

Probably fake faints at the sheer glory of you in HIS bomb ass clothes. Definitely fans himself

Spoils you rotten with compliments

This man is weak. “Gorgeous! Smother me.” as he falls back on the bed and gestures to his face

He won’t turn down the idea of sexy times (depends on your libido, comfort, etc.) but sometimes he makes raunchy jokes just to be funny. Smothering could also mean using him like a body pillow (which he’s totally okay with).

You get max cuddles and WILL be the envy of Devilgram

Beelzebub

Beel felt a little guilty for leaving you at the House of Lamentation with his brothers

You guys were supposed to hang out after school but there was an emergency practice. The coach always got pre-game jitters and demanded a few last runs. He showered and ran back to the House, hoping you still had time for him.

He tiptoed quietly into his shared room, unsurprised to find you waiting there for him. You’d been caught in Belphie’s sleepy little aura by the looks of it,

Beelzebub couldn’t help the grin or little hum that made it past his lips. Your eyes were open but he didn’t know if you actually saw him. You looked super cute in his humongous bed though

You were getting sleepier and sleepier, your eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Beel pulled the sheets over you and gentle untangled the arm you managed to latch on to

Maybe waking up to a bit of food would make up for everything! Beel toiled away in the kitchen, making a cute little snack tray for the two of you.

In reality, it could probably feed at least twenty, and he ate at least half of what he prepped.

Beel returned to the room with what he considered a decent amount (scraps, kind of, but enough variety! He tried! It’s the thought that counts!) and was surprised to see his sheets all tangled and half-kicked from the bed

You were wearing his jacket now, passed out and turned into the furry lining that usually went across his shoulders and neck

DId you sleep walk? He was trying to understand how you’d gotten into his jacket

Beel realized it was the first time you’d been in his clothes and it was enough to make his heart melt

Super huge on you, obviously (extra fabric everywhere), but so cute! He could basically swaddle you in his jacket

“They’re a restless sleeper,” Belphie yawned. “I thought it would help them calm down.”

It used to work on Belphie, so Beel could see why he resorted to it

Beel offered his twin some food, sitting carefully on your other side.

He shifted some of the parka fur away from your face, trying to fix your hair and nudge your chin up so your nose wasn’t buried in anything. He stroked your cheek a little, mesmerized by the sight of you and how you felt.

Belphie declined, muttering something about, ‘Stop looking like that and eat your food! Gross!’ before Beel settled for patting your head one last time and eating quietly

Belphegor

He’s another one that’s hard to steal from

You’d think it’d be easy since he sleeps all the time, but Belphie really only wears 10% of the clothes he buys

Yes, he’s a pajama snob and has all things comfy and cozy, but hardly any of them smell like him because he falls asleep anywhere with little issue (no special clothes required!)

You thought about stealing his blue cardigan with the pocket, but he’s always sleeping in it!

Belphie picks up on your train of thought, and the frustration, because you fall asleep thinking about it. Dreaming about coyly stealing his cardigan and being all cute and snuggly in bed

It’s enough to wake him up, shuffle to you, and break your sleep. He flops down on your bed with his cardigan unbuttoned and says ‘climb on’ while patting his chest

You’re obviously sleepy and confused and he loves it. Belphie slides you onto his chest and wraps his arms around you, resting bits of the fabric on your back as you settle into him

It’s not the same but it’s close enough

Would you be offended if he got you cow pajamas so he could snuggle you like his favorite pillow? He falls asleep wondering about the answer

He wakes up to see that Beel has covered the two of you with his favorite blanket.

You in his blanket? Against him? Slowly smelling of him and his clothes? It’s the best thing to fall asleep to.

Makes a joke out of your clothes-stealing quest by stripping one of his pillowcases off and putting you in it like a little sack. You have to stay on his bed now because you’re his pillow and all pillows stay on the bed.

“What? You wanted to smell like me! It’s something I use!“ Belphie defends as you wonder whether or not you like this human pillow thing while he snuggles you.