#faith that things will work out

[kecleonplush]

Hey y’all sorry I’ve been disappearing randomly I’ve been back in the states for a bit and my life has been busy but I need to vent a little bit about my current situation so for those who care here is a Life Update (or no one can care I just need to vent lol).

So when we last left off I had been rejected by the guy I like (Erik), though we were still going to be going to a concert together and he was staying with me for about a week. Turns out us going to a concert basically just turned into us being a couple for a week. When it all first started I was pretty ready to basically just give it all up but then I basically just like... had a boyfriend for a week and saw what this relationship could possibly be if we were able to be together in the same place.

It was a great week. We saw the concert and went sightseeing and did a bunch of other stuff and just generally kept each other company. There were no awkward pauses or weird moments. It was natural and fun and exciting (though he wore me the fuck out lmao).

So now I’m back on thinking “well, maybe this can be something”. Of course, distance and whatnot is going to be an issue no matter what, but I have some time to work through that. I started thinking about possibly moving to Alaska, even if only for a little while after I graduate, just to give myself some time to explore this relationship properly. But that’s a year out at best.

Before he left, I mentioned coming to see him in Okinawa in March. I messaged him about it again yesterday with hopes of getting it set in stone and wake up this morning to him saying “yeah you should come soon I might be quitting my job in April”. His job has been working him to the bone and he’s understandably frustrated with it, not to mention he’s basically making no money.

I’m immediately like oh fuck

In reality, this is probably not a big deal - if he does go through with it, he will be going back to Alaska a bit early, sure, but it A) doesn’t change that much about our circumstances, and B) he says a lot of shit out loud that he doesn’t end up acting on, so he might stick it out anyway.

But my anxiety has been particularly bad lately so this immediately makes me freak out. In reality, is this a major change? Not really - it just means that if I do plan on doing anything about this relationship, the time that I’d have to manage across timezones goes from 8 months to 12 months. In reality, that is not a big difference! And Alaska is not that different in terms of time zones.

It also doesn’t help that the timing of my trip is less than ideal - late March is a busy time of year for him. It’s likely that it won’t be an issue but I’m still nervous.

I just have so many insecurities about this. That nagging voice in the back of my head is convinced that if he leaves Japan he’s going to immediately meet someone and never talk to me again. The reality of the situation is that that’s probably not going to happen - Alaska’s gay scene is probably considerably worse than Okinawa’s, so what’s really going to happen is that he’s probably going to go back home to Anchorage and be bored living at home while he takes a boring job. There’s a very good chance that we’ll just kind of continue on as we have been. If anything, maybe he’ll talk to me more. I’ll have time in the summer and maybe I can see him in Anchorage.

I just really want this to work. I like him so much. I’m considering finding a way to move to Alaska for him. But I need something to break my way to make this feel like it’s doable.

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz

[not-with-you-but-of-you]

Forgive me, Jess, please know that I tried To hold on to the days When you were mine

— requested by @emmafallsinlove

[bloomfish]

It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.

As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that

[canisalbus]

I love how Vasco looks like he is always living his best life while Machete looks like he never had a moment of rest, ever, in his life. Like a mirror reflecting two opposites

.

[genericpuff]

vent post

[brown-little-robin]

okay, I'm crowdsourcing advice for a minute, so bear with me and please lend some words if you have any:

I want to get out of the house more. Like, on a regular basis. Weekly, maybe. Preferably, I would like to be interacting with people—the same people—every time, for... like... accountability, but also because I am hoping to put myself out there as the 21st century's most neurotic platonic Casanova. Uh. Making a friend or more out of this would be desirable. But I think if I go out with the intention of making a friend, I will be disappointed.

So. I want to go do something, for that something's own sake. I don't want to go be fake once a week hoping to get a friend out of it.

However, the beautiful state of Iowa is a bit cultureless, and I am too introverted and easily overwhelmed for this world (e.g. going to bars is probably not gonna be my thing). So.... I guess.... any suggestions? opinions? thoughts on making friends in general, or finding good activities as an introverted adult, in general?

oh yeah, also: I am poor. that's a factor. so. signing up a class or similar is not a great option right now.

what the heck, I'll add a silly poll for fun:

[snek-eyes]

Andi Osho as Sitis (wife of Job) in Good Omens 2.02

[Image ID: A series of gifs from Good Omens season 2, featuring the character Sitis, an older dark-skinned woman dressed in blue.

The camera zooms into a Bible illustration of Sitis lamenting to the sky.

Sitis's face becomes concerned as Job says: "Sitis my dear, this person was looking for the children." She turns, looking defensive, and asks, "Why? Who're you?"

Sitis looks stressed as she chuckles humorlessly and gestures to their ruined house. It is slightly smoking. She says: "Not now, Bildad the Shuhite. Good of you to look in, but we're a tiny bit busy weathering the wrath of God."

Close up on Sitis as her face becomes confused, then changes to horror and disbelief. "…No. God wouldn't!"

Sitis holds back tears as she asks something of her husband. He is about to burst into tears as he shakes his head no.

Sitis implores the angels as Job falls to his knees beside her. "I don't, I don't want more children." A close up of her desperate face. "If my children are dead, then… I will curse God, and—"

Crowley, as Bildad the Shuhite, clasps his hands and rubs them together in a "let's get started" motion. Sitis looks scared and backs away.

Crowley stands framed between Sitis and Job, who are facing each other. He makes a switching motion between them as he says, "Now good lady, simply turn to your husband, reach into his robes…" Sitis looks dubious but reaches towards Job, who abruptly looks very surprised. Crowley interjects: "N-h-higher. Higher."

Sitis and Job's children stand between them. Jemimah throws her arms around her mother who embraces her joyfully.

Job, looking confused, gestures to his restored children as he says to the angels. "But, it is—" Sitis quickly reaches out to Job and interrupts. Clearly frantic and trying to hide it she says, "A-a miracle. It is a miracle, that our new son should look so much like our old son."

Sitis explains very deliberately to Job as she pats her son who is definitely not Ennon on the arm: "No, Job. Look, it's not Ennon, it's… a new child. These are all… They're all… new… children."

Sitis anxiously watches Job speak, and starts to relax until a baffled and annoyed Ennon says something. She tenses and turns to him.

End ID]

[an-eldritch-peredhel]

The thing that draws me most to this fandom, and the things that makes it unique, is that by the mere nature of the works we love, everyone's Arda is different. And not just in the usual headcanon-y ways that are typical of every story, but even down to important plot and characterization points.

Who is Gil-Galad? What is the Oath and what does it have power to do? What really is the Dagor Dagorath? How do the Laws Of The Universe work?

And beyond that- what parts of HoME do you pick and choose? LaCE? Does anyone try and work with Tolkien's horrendous math? Have you taken parts of your Arda from older or other worlds, with the Cottage of Lost Play and the exile of the Gnomes?

Have you given names to the wives and daughters? What do they mean- who are they? Mother-names or father-names for those who only had one?

I just really love how even when two interpretations of the same world seem utterly incompatible, they aren't. I'd love to see other additions/headcanons!

[pastelaeqy]

have been making this whilst listening to final part device theory for deltarune. Strongly recommend giving it a go. I’ve yet to finalise some of the colours here so this is still def a wip.

[shadystranger]

the switch from worry for sam to appealing.. oh he knows how to fuck him up so perfectly tailored for him

[painted-bees]

The lyrics to Saint Motel's "Honest Feedback" are so...Raf coded lmao it's so cynically petty 'for laughs' jljfshgd:

"Of all the illegal ways to take someone's life, there's one just as sharp and it's sharp as a knife.

It's called honest feedback."

"So many people got their neck in the noose.

They'd rather jump off than hear gossip from you."

"How do I look? Am I driving too fast? Of all of your old lovers, am I the best? It's just honest feedback,

Watch your honest feedback."

[deservedgrace]

something that i've been struggling to articulate but has been bothering me for a while is how some christians engage and interact with science and what i'm realizing is they have a like... almost love-bombing/discarding relationship with it. and i recognize science isn't a person and that's not literally happening but the christians that i grew up around have this relationship with science where it's real/valid/correct if it supports their side and fake/invalid/wrong if it doesn't. it's this like... engaging with science to get something from it when it can prove their point and condemning it when it doesn't. and this also ties into the belief that you, a layperson with no background in science, are more knowledgeable than actual scientists simply because you have god on your side, and therefore you can use science in whatever way you see fit, which means engaging with it in a way that is ultimately anti-science (but that also doesn't matter because god said it was okay). and it's exhausting engaging with these people for me because it's not that they believe all science bad, it's that they believe most science bad but some science good and they have the authority to determine what is bad and what is good, despite, again, not having a background in science (because what is a "background in science" to an all-knowing god that you have a personal relationship with?). the thing that is so frustrating to me is how these people recognize science is valued and use it to strengthen the validity of their points and to gain credibility while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge the validity of science as a field at all or put in any effort to understand/respect it.

[someobscurereference]

ive been rereading your ffxv fic "im trying hard to take it back" for literally four years now. please end my suffering and tell me how gladio feels. please. PLEASE. (but only if u want ofc)

(fic) Short answer: Gladio feels insane guilt and spends a lot of his life trying to make this up to Prompto. In the process, they deepen their connection as friends and do begin a relationship probably around the one-year mark of endless darkness. <3

Longer answer: (implications of abuse/violence tw but no worse than in the fic itself; just what others assume to be true even if it's not in the context of this specific fic)

Gladio is a secret romantic at heart who has always envisioned meeting his soulmate, but he's also duty-bound and duty comes first. So even though he reads romance books (amongst other types of books too) and indulges in his head a bit as many people do, he's often put his duty to the crown first and foremost in his mind. He also didn't imagine his soulmate was anyone on this trip and thought perhaps the person he may have been fated to meet died in the assault of Insomnia. Even if they were a refugee, they can't be a priority to him at this moment. His priority has to be Noctis.

Prompto has obviously grown on him over the course of their road trip, but there are aspects of them that don't 100% mesh (as is true with every realistic relationship). That said, Gladio never in a hundred years would want this moment of (understandable but out of line) frustration and anger in the wake of Luna and Altissa to be a permanent mark on Prompto's face. He's genuinely horrified and disgusted with himself for a long time after this and spends most of his life trying to make it up. He feels like a dirtbag about it.

That said, Prompto runs away from him in this moment and they need time to calm down, just as the fic shows. Noctis goes after Prompto, just like in canon. Prompto falls off the train and has his Despair Arc just like in the DLC, now with the added despair of "well, in addition to being a clone, my soulmate hates me. And in addition to the mark of inhumanity on my wrist (barcode), I have a giant hand print of him literally Shoving Me Away on my face. Forever."

Aranea: Well, do you want to die about it. Or do you want to live.

Prompto, eventually like in canon: Live, I guess. But it will be excruciating.

Aranea: That's what living is. We do it anyway. Your friends love you. Get off the floor.

He fights his way through his issues and gets rescued like in canon. Gladio probably tries to talk to him when they all catch up again, trying to apologize, and Prompto tells him to hold off on that for later.

Then, of course, Noctis is eaten by the crystal and "later" becomes much, much later as they evacuate and try to survive in eternal darkness. (Though they also can't Not think about it because it's a giant hand print. On Prompto's face. And every person they meet has Something To Say about it, for better or worse, whether they knew Prompto before or not. Prompto cannot escape it, and when Gladio is not doing Crown Duties he feels he must do in Noct's absence, he's with Prompto, so he also Cannot Escape It either. Even when the person speaking is unaware that Gladio left that mark. It's almost worse when they don't know, but when they see it's Gladio, who is such a big guy who seemingly hit Prompto and left that permanent mark there, some of them get nasty to him and some back off out of fear. Both are horrible. The guilt is eating him alive.)

Eventually, enough time passes as the dust settles that they do Talk About It. Gladio apologizes sincerely, for the 500th time. Prompto's like, "Well. It's not like you could have known that this would be The One Time it happened." And then cracks a joke about their soulmate mark being a Prompto's hand print on Gladio's ass from a butt slap in another life, which does help the tension somewhat. (The more Gladio tries to apologize, the more Prompto grows sick of hearing it, so they just have to move on and keep going, as he's learned to do.)

They grow closer over time, especially because there's not a lot of people who have survived to this point and even less later on. They do get together romantically, both because they do like the idea of soulmates (for different reasons) and also because they're living out of each others pockets for years, so there's an affection and dependency that develops there. Also, teenage Prompto always thought Gladio was really handsome and teen Gladio thought Prompto was cute and sincere for a pipsqueak.

When they are out together on dates in normal settings surrounded by strangers after the light returns, Gladio will receive dirty looks for the rest of his life from strangers who see the hand print on Prompto's face and immediately (correctly) assumes it was out of anger rather than a funny accident or something. (Edit: Some people will assume there is a funny story attached. Gladio will not know what to say to this. Prompto will play along.) He will learn to live with this. Prompto is really grateful Gladio is with him despite everything.