#failed rizz anon

[alphaclxwn]

i was wondering if u were an artist? bc you drew me in bbg 😘

i,,, im strongly considering drawing mpreg again. if art drew you in, i sure can rub you out! 😁

[writingsbychlo]

do you like ice cream? because i melt every time i see you.

🥹 I am feeling so shitty today I love these they always cheer me up thank you so much 🤧

[thegnomelord]

With all these M!reader courting (and practically rizzing up everyone) in their own hybrid way, imagine poor Ghost, he's like toothless, doesn't know how tf to court someone of say, even his own species because he was once human

And with that rant about all the absurd ways of courting, what would he call as his own?

Would he give gifts like Gaz and Price? A piece to remember them by?

I doubt he'd be the physical type like cuddly ol soap who loves to scent,

He's practically a shadow (literally and figuratively) and I feel like the best he can do is stare and slowly blink like a cat (and let's be honest most of the time we don't see his eye) so he might even just act like a stalker and watch from afar, not much of a scent even on him if he's near, even when in the midst of battle

So what can he do then? I feel like going to Price is his best bet and when he tries to scent something like Soap it smells like nothing

I feel like he'd beat himself up on it

(Also fucking love your courting works, I've been eating that shit up its become a hyperfixation)

- ☕️ Anon

I reckon that staring would be less of a wraith thing and more of a Simon thing. Because like, wraiths don't reproduce, they're made not born. So poor Simon just has to try to use the knowledge he had before he died.

CW:NSFW subbot ghost, topdom reader, rough and quick

He likes you.

Just like he's a Riley, just like the sky is blue, his affection for you is one of the few truths of the world he doesn't question. Only problem — he doesn't know how to tell you. You're not human and neither is he, not anymore, but he's woefully unprepared when it comes to you, doesn't know if he's supposed to go about it as a wraith or as a man.

He tries; Simon's phone is full of open tabs containing every piece of information about your species, trying to find grains of truth in the contradicting mess of words. He's memorized how you like your morning coffee down to the last flake of sugar, watching your face carefully when you trudge to the communal kitchen to find your mug steaming and everything laid out near it. He knows your schedule inside out, always a few minutes earlier in the gym when you come in, offering to spot you, his dark eyes roaming over your sweat covered skin. His gaze is always flickering to you, regardless of what you're doing or where you are — watching, guarding, making sure the world doesn't take away that spark like it did with Simon Riley.

But you fail to notice it, him. Or maybe you do but don't care. Don't see him as anything but your teammate, like you should, like he should. God, what is he even doing trying to fucking woo you like some lovestruck Victorian gent. . .

Simon feels like banging his head against the wall.

Maybe then something in his imperceptibly rotten skull will come loose, tumble around in what's left of his brain like a snowball rolling down a hill to form an avalanche, or at least a vestige of a good thought; an idea, something he could use to get out of this rut.

He doesn't go to Price for advice. The old dragon finds him, knows him long enough to figure out when Simon's up to his throat in shite. Price sits down next to him as they watch you and Gaz spar, "Alright, spit it out." Price hums as he lights his cigar.

Simon's lips form a thin line beneath his mask, his fingers gripping the meat of his arm to keep his form stable. His eyes don't stray from you, cataloging every trail of sweat as it rolls down your skin, watching your muscles flex beneath your skin as you throw a punch, making a mental note to show you the mistakes you make in private and—

His shoulders fall, "'m fucked." The words escape him like he'd been punched in the gut.

Price gives him the side eye, looking him up and down. "Doesn't look like you enjoyed it."

"Hah." Simon says in a dry tone. "Always a comedian captain."

Price chuckles, wing spreading out to bump against his shoulder. "Jokes aside," he lets out a small puff of smoke, "You could just tell 'im."

Simon's eyes narrow, "What, not going to suggest I go find some obscure shite ta gift him?" If he could find some concrete information about your species courting habits he would have done so by now, would have happily torn up Heaven and Hell looking for whatever would make you look at him the same way Price looks at Kyle.

"No," Price rolls his eyes, standing up and stretching. "Just go talk to 'im you bloody muppet, going to creep him out if you keep staring like that." He nods his head towards you.

Simon's head is a dark sea of thoughts as he spars with you, tries to make it seem like nothing's wrong but you catch on quick; he's distracted, falling for moves he'd once chastised you for pulling, the edges of his form crackling like the static of a tv, shadowy smoke rising from his blackened arms as he throws a punch that goes wide.

He grunts as you knock him to the ground, your hands on his shoulders to pin him down. "You alright?" You ask, your brows furrowed. "You're not fighting like you usually do."

You can barely see his dark eyes narrow, his body still beneath yours. "I'm fine." He growls out, tries to ignore how the warmth of your body against his makes him feel, nibbling on his nerves like a craving for a drug he can't have.

"Uhuh," You hum, a little confused why he's letting you pin him down so long. "Come on Ghost, you're not getting soft on me are you?" With a huff you attempt to pull away, knowing you couldn't force words out of his mouth.

The sudden lack of your warmth is what forces his body to move before his mind does, shadows shooting out to grab you before congealing back into his arm, pulling you down so his lips can crash on yours.

You grunt into his mouth from the surprise, your eyes wide with surprise. Simon's frozen heart cracks just a bit when you don't respond, only to melt when you finally kiss him back. Your lips feel like heaven against his, Simon's eyes shutting and long tongue slipping into your mouth.

You choke a bit, pulling back to catch your breath, your eyes widening as Simon's long tongue slips back into his mouth. "Fucking hell Simon." You pant,

"Got a whole bag of tricks." Simon says, his throat dry. "I-" He begins to say, thoughts running on how to tell you he wants you but no words coming out, something clogging his throat like molasses.

"Yeah," You grin, the lights overhead casting a halo around your head. "I know." Tipping your head down you catch his lips again, your kiss deep and rough, Simon's teeth digging into your lip until it bleeds, your sharp fangs nipping his tongue, blood mixing in your mouths, arousal starting to course through your veins.

Simon's hands grope your ass, pulling your crotch down on his so your cocks can rub together. Simon greedily swallows your groan, his arms starting to fizzle, shadowy smoke wrapping around you to keep you close as his hand sneaks down to undo your belts, fishing out your cocks.

"Christ," You groan and pant into his mouth, grabbing hold of both of your cocks and rocking your hips into his, pleasure buzzing up your spine.

"Don't bring 'im in here." Simon growls and throws an arm around your neck, demanding your attention with a kiss, longue tongue pushing half way down your throat and hips bucking up to rub his cock against yours. "Just us here."

You moan against his lips and fuck, if that isn't the prettiest sound he's ever heard, his mind clouding over with pleasure and before either one of you knows it Simon's cumming, pulling you down with him, your combined cum painting both of your stomachs.

It takes a few moments for Simon to catch his breath, his pupils blows wide as he stares up at you. "Shite." He breathes out, boneless beneath you.

You grin, "You can say that again." and you lean down to kiss him again.

[68spidey]

Rizz failed.. we'll get em next time.

Anon was invested in the old Ramona pushups doodle and this spawned. Raph was thoroughly displeased with the amount of weird pregnant lady cravings and feelings he got with the first two eggs and I don't think he's quite ready to jump back into it again.

"No more babies!" he said. Not pictured: the two of them with three more kids in as many years.

[craske]

Wait "in the case of the two doomed lovebirds" sniff sniff

Is that

PureShadow?

OH NO ANON IM SORRY im not a shipper so i overall dont do ships. i meant pure vanilla and white lily

its more of an one sided thing on pure vanillas part because hes down bad. at least thats what i like to think because i find one sided crushes in media funny

tho i think. shadow milk cookie trying to rizz up vanilla to gain some sort of control only to fail would be pretty funny ngl

[saintsenara]

Cedric Diggory/Ron Weasley, Fleur Delacour/Ron Weasley, or Ron Weasley/Viktor Krum if you haven’t done these!

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

cedric diggory/ron weasley

which @shivstar has also noted the deranged potential of:

and the reason you're all keen is because it's... canon.

after all, ron tells us in goblet of fire that cedric's powers of sexiness [enough that he's the only person in the series to get an "extremely handsome" out of ol' mr potter - which even tom riddle at the height of his twink era doesn't manage] caused him to temporarily lose his mind:

"I don't know what made me do it!" Ron gasped again. "What was I playing at? There were people - all around - I've gone mad - everyone watching! I was just walking past her in the entrance hall - she was standing there talking to Diggory - and it sort of came over me - and I asked her!"

ron may think that what happened here was that he fell under fleur's blonde bombshell spell, but - since goblet of fire is the book in which he really gets to grip with his unexamined bisexuality - we all know the truth...

fleur delacour/ron weasley

which isn't to say that i don't also back this.

a hill i will die on is that ron - who canonically looks like bill, has a daring streak a mile wide, and has a real soft spot for women with no social skills - would have managed to pull fleur if he just had a morsel more rizz. his issue in goblet of fire isn't that he's the sort of mid-tier hunk that fleur only perceives as a blur in her peripheral vision, it's that he has absolutely no sauce to speak of.

but give him a copy of twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches three years earlier... he'd have left roger davies in the dust.

viktor krum/ron weasley

"Yeah, that's right, smarm up to him, Malfoy," said Ron scathingly. "I bet Krum can see right through him, though... bet he gets people fawning over him all the time... Where d'you reckon they're going to sleep? We could offer him a space in our dormitory, Harry... I wouldn't mind giving him my bed."

presented without comment.

[i hadn't realised this was yet more fuel for the dron agenda as well... kronco nation, rise up...]

[wonryllis]

、ㅤ🪷 ⋆ ࣪ 午 MY LOVES (MOOTiEs) ᵎᵎ ✶ 𝐒𝐅𝐖 so srry for the tag. NOT KEEPING TRACK ANYMORE

THERE'S NO SPECIFIC ORDER,, IF I MISSED SOMEONE IM SO SORRY IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL JUST PLS LMK ASAP ILL ADD YOU!!

@jaesvelvet ( cha ) my soft corner, love her so much and miss her so damn much all the time talking to her is healing

@seungstarss ( sei ) my first ever fan turned bestie :( miss you babes,, i literally survived half my time of tumblr becuz of her

@maiverie ( mai ) the humour goddess, fics are top tier plots filled with crack you never gonna find another like her, my second bestie <3

@luvhyun3 ( kana ) my love who is almost never on here anymore but i still love her, we're in long distance atm pls understand.

@hoes4hoseok ( piper ) her brain, brains so hard, the creativity is off the charts and so underrated like people are blind if you don't know her.

@ctrlemis ( art ) bestie who's perhaps as crazy as me if not more, we had a super talking stage but our situationship is kinda off rn :( miss you

@jangwonie ( fae ) she's my baby don't touch her. a pretty little sweetie angel, so caring, mwah :3

@nyukyujs ( kya ) the sweetest purest person ever like the most beautiful angel inside out! taught me so much about spreading love and positivity

@heecyon ( bee ) she's my wife, i love her a lot but we haven't been talking for a long while now, if you see this beebee i miss you a lot let's catch up wyf.

@koishua ( vienna ) didn't talk a lot but i love loved her works, it was everything, sad she left but it's a part of life.

@boyfhee ( caelin ) the reincarnate of shakespeare? hello? and so sweet and humble too a literal babe. period.

@www-jungwon ( elena ) another one i haven't gotten dirt on yet,, soon though. she's my high achiever mate who writes cute masterpieces

@okwonyo ( jiah/bambi ) always sending suspicious anon asks +_+ and making it so obvious omg she's an amateur baby

@eeunoia ( psyche ) the prettiest sunghoon girlie of all time, the most talented, and lastly my idol that's i'll never roast or dig up dirt on ☆‿⁠☆

@leaderwon ( luna ) another baby of mine that i absolutely need to protect. she be so me can't let her end up like me damn.

@tyunni ( may ) we not that close but i love her account and i love her works and i love her vibes so bingo! riki to my won.

@jjunae ( kae ) hold on for a little im busy finding pick up lines for this gorgeous right here,, let my rizz not fail

@stariekis ( uri ) an angel who showed up one day and took me to her hometown where i found out i was the lost angel from their village. oh.

@lheebra ( dani ) my dear little love who will always have VIP passes to my blog. a sweetpie with limitless talents!

@isoobie ( ri ) she's a student of how to do it like yeonie school and lemme tell you, she's an ace already aimming for the top spot, beware.

@fakeuwus ( nic ) uwu uwu uwuuuu uwuu uwu uwuwu uwu uwu uwuwuu (she's my uwu who understands my uwu language, my uwu soulmate)

@lilyuwon ( yev ) one of the first persons i talked to on this blog, and im so glad we still do, love interacting with her and absolute lovely being!

@ms-no1kpopstan ( mickie ) cutiepie who's such a sweetpea, haven't been talking for long but she's really nice and supportive, adore her :3

@theyluvvaubery ( ? ) haven't been able to interact or talk much but she's a sweetie!!

@sainns ( anna ) my fellow sunghoon hoe keeper, we are protecting him from the locals who always ask for him. we gatekeep and share!

@stwrjvke ( ash ) she boops as much as she loves and guess what she booped me infinite so.. i bewitched her at my annual royal ball.

hmu if you wanna be mutuals/frnds im always up for it!

MUTUALS I HAVEN'T TALKED TO BUT WOULD LOVE TO!

@sjyuns

@kareyuns

୨ৎ . . 𝓂o𝐨𝐭 𝓰a𝗺𝗲s ᵎᵎ

moots in prompt generator with bias and i rate them.

moots as tropes assigned with any idol.

moots as kpop idols they'd be.

moots as songs, webtoons and who'd be travel buddy + sibling vibes

moots as favorite drinks.

moots as kpop songs.

moots on the level of delulu-ness.

moots in winx club.

moots as tropes they suit. (2)

moots as kpop idols i see them as. (2)

[gabessquishytum]

Listen. LISTEN. Dream one hundred percent has that hypermobile rizz. And as someone who may or may not have experience with both hypermobility and low self-esteem, I'm just imagining it…

Human au, Hob and Dream finally get together after ages of pining, they're having a good time, and then suddenly whoops, that joint is not supposed to move that way. Dream yelps or whines involuntarily, but Hob thinks it's like a sexy whine, so now Dream feels stuck. Internally he's like 'shit, ow, what do I do, I can't just stop things, it's rude to leave your partner hanging, right? Especially when he seems to be enjoying himself. Maybe we could just stop for a minute? No, what am I supposed to say, 'hey can we pause while I reset my joints?' That's so gross he'll think I'm gross he'll never have sex with me again he'll kick me out immediately why is my body terrible how am I failing at sex I'm going to die alone. Also ow."

Luckily it's Hob, so even if he misinterpreted the first reaction, he definitely notices Dream wincing and trying to hide his discomfort. So of course he stops, even when Dream tries to encourage him to keep going. Eventually, reluctantly, Dream explains the situation, and he expects Hob to be weirded out or disgusted but he's purely concerned, asking how he can help, and then once all joints are back in their assigned sockets, he asks how he can help keep that from happening next time.

Dream is like "next time? 🥺🥺🥺" and Hob is like "yes you foolish wet cat, I didn't stop loving you or being attracted to you just because you have some health issues jfk"

Anyways then Dream cries while Hob sucks him off. You know. For pain relief.

Omg baby anon!! I too have hypermobility!! I am notorious for dislocating my toes during sex!! This isn't something you should ever feel embarrassed about. But I totally understand that it's not the easiest thing to talk about.

I can absolutely 110% imagine that Dream would NOT tell Hob to stop, or that he's hurting. He's got too much pride, and deep down he's very scared that Hob will be disgusted. I also think that Hob would 110% NOTICE that Dream is in pain - even if it takes him a few minutes.

After Dream has been put back together, comforted by Hob’s gentle and loving words, and then brought to a spectacular orgasm by Hob’s mouth - Hob pops out of bed and goes to the bathroom. He's gone for a while (long enough that Dream is worried. Did Hob climb out of a window to get away from him and his weird body? Dream is of course forgetting that they're in Hob’s flat). But he eventually returns, grinning triumphantly.

"It's called kinesiology tape. Dunno if you've ever used it?" He explains, putting a box into Dream’s hands. "I think maybe next time, we could try strapping the bits of you that tend to pop out? It might not be perfect, but it'll give some support."

And Dream cries again, of course. Hob holds him and kisses him over and over, and tells him between kisses that he is so beautiful and lovable. He tells Dream about his own past injuries and how his body is a bit fucked up too. Nobody is perfect, right?

Dream insists that Hob is perfect. He won't be told otherwise. He may have a dodgy knee, but he might be the most lovely person that Dream has ever met (and he gives the most fantastic blowjobs. so there's that too).

[murder-cookie-dust393]

this has just been sitting in my head for awhile.

MC swarm + yandere apocalypse. the cookies are just running into the swarm trying to catch as many as they can to keep.

can I be 🎃anon? you can ignore this if you want, have a nice day!

NAH MC BEES

Bro Pure Vanilla trying to attract MC bees with his flower-

Lilac too- any flower cookie are just trying to be appealing.

I can also see Yam, Lobster, and cookies like them (Crunchy Chip too) just miserably failing at catching MC bees. Like geniunely struggling to the point they scare them away.

Now then there's the bug-type cookies. Bro they're gonna try to communicate with MC bees as hard as they can. Sugar Glass be trying to "rizz" them bees up with her pretty colours.

Now Amber Sugar- he's gonna be acting like he's been waiting for this moment all his life. Honestly, I feel he'll get the most MC bees.

(I'm really tired, but have some bees.)

[kairiscorner]

Hiii idk if ur asks are open but 42!Miles x Filo reader pls 🙏🏼

HI PO !! omg, ykw, i was thinking of this, BUT OK ANON CONSIDER IT DONE >:))

miles 42 x filipino reader

i kinda have this feeling that if you get this boy smitten with you, he's at your every beck and call :> like just hit him up with a text or a call (i think he prefers call cuz he wants to hear your voice all the time) and if you'd ask him to go with you to the ukay-ukay to buy a ton of clothes or to come with him to run some errands, BOY HE'S NOT WASTING ANOTHER SECOND, HE'S ON HIS WAY

and he does not follow filipino time ok, when he says he'll be there at one time, he'll be there at that time. if he says he's otw, he's otw (or there alr actually) and you'd probably be like, "akala ko otw ka palang?" ("i thought you said you were just otw"?) and he'd respond with a slight smirk and tell you, "mahal, i follow morales time, not filipino time. if i say i'm otw, nandito na ako (i'm alr here)."

OH AND WHEN HE LEARNS TAGALOG, HE SPEAKS TAGLISH MORE OFTEN AROUND YOU. it's not just to impress you or tell you how much he appreciates you and your culture, but it's also for him to learn more about you and your roots because he genuinely finds it interesting :>>

ngl, he also struggles with the tenses. like sometimes he'll go like: "wdym it's 'naglalakad' and not 'lumalakad'? 'nagtatago'? but 'tumatago' sounds right though..."

you chuckle a little when he messes up sometimes, and he doesn't get mad, it makes him laugh, too :> he's very open to learning more about you and your culture, ESPECIALLY HOW TO TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU IN MORE THAN ONE WAY<3333

being raised by the rizz master uncle aaron himself, he'd know a lot of ways on how to say he loves you without it being a simple "i love you" in english or spanish, and he'd def try that in tagalog and/or in your local dialect!

he found out about the different ways to say "i love you" in filipino dialects, so even if it isn't your dialect, he'd experiment and say them around you a lot just to let you know he loves you without it ever getting old <:)

he calls you: "mahal", "mahal ko", "pangga", "aking sinta", "iniirog ko", AND ON RARE OCCASIONS "beh".

i headcanon that, like miguel, he's very extra with how he tells you he loves you, but in a more lowkey way. like he's more concise in telling you how he loves you, but makes it so heavy.

"handa akong mamatay para sayo, mahal," "ikaw ang tanging minamahal ko," "hayaan mo na ako nang aalaga sayo panghabang-buhay", "wag ka nang mag-alala, ako nang bahala sayo, mahal," "palagi ka nandito sa puso ko, palagi kitang napapanaginipan." (ang cute ng tsikiting ko oh)

OH AND YOUR PARENTS??? JESUS, HE'D BE SO FREAKING RESPECTFUL I CAN'T. like you'd've told him about the mano po culture and saying "po" and "opo", and like noir, HE FOLLOWS IT TO A TEE.

he calls your parents "tito" and "tita", and though he doesn't show too much emotion in greeting them unlike his counterpart, he flashes them a chill smile, which... kinda led them to think he was way older than you LMAO

they fr ask if he was 15, because they have never met any other 15 year old boy like him who respects his own mother and uncle, is willing to learn your native language to understand you and your parents, never fails to do the "mano po" and say "po" and "opo" AND OFFERS TO DO THINGS FOR YOU????? man they're asking him alr if he's planning on marrying you in a few years fr

oh, and i think his favorite dishes would be adobo (pork and chicken adobo !!!!!!!) and lumpia (be it the fried or sariwa ones) >:) IDK I JUST LIKE IMAGINING HIM EATING THE LUMPIA YOU MAKE AND HE'D SMILE AT YOU WITH STUFFED CHEEKS AND TELL YOU, "ansharap mahal"

a/n: I WANTED TO ADD THE COURTING HEADCANONS BUT I MIGHT MAKE THAT SEPARATELY HUHUHU BUT ANYWAY ENJOY THIS ANON <333

[alphaclxwn]

hi, was just wondering, if ur here, then who’s running heaven, cutie? 😘

dude idk??? rara probably <33

[suusoh]

Haha c’est pas grave, chérie ! French is a very romantic language, we all know. So, I believe that Johan (or Anna for that matter) might use this to catch off guard their Darling with French terms of endearment. They are multi-lingual after all. 

Alors, La Première Leçon: Termes d’Affection ! 

Mon Cher/ Ma Chére- My dear (we all know this, very classic)

Mon cœur - My heart (You consume them, you are their most vital organ.)

Mon beau/ Ma belle - My beautiful (perhaps too superficial for Johan and Anna, but you are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, especially when you have tears in your eyes.)

Mon Chouchou - My pet, my sweet (derives from the term for cabbage or pastry, do not let that fool you ! It means you are so sweet and delicious they could devour you !) 

Mon lapin - My rabbit (you can run, but they will always find you.) 

Ma moitié - My half (this speaks for itself, no ? You complete them of course.) 

So Johan might say « It’s ok, mon petit lapin, you did so well planning your escape. Come lay here with me, I can tell you why you failed. »

anon... anon. why is it like I'm the one that got rizzed up here. are we- a-are we about to kiss? 😳?

BUT WAHHH THANK YOU ANON ALL OF THESE ARE SOOOO GOOD. LIKE SO DEAHTLY GOOD I CAN'T WAIT TO USE THESE THANK YOUUU!!!!

I think Johan would be an avid fan of mon cœur and mon chouchou!!! ah the mon chouchou one is so perfect!! As if I haven't written enough about johan just biting his darling's cheeks out of nowhere. His personal pastry.

" It’s ok, mon petit lapin, you did so well planning your escape. Come lay here with me, I can tell you why you failed. " SHITTT ANONN YOU ATE THAT. I GO INSANE OVER THAT SOFT YANDERE KINDA CHARACTERIZATION FOR HIM FHAJKSFHJ. NOT HIM ASKING YOU TO LAY WITH HIM IM CRYINGGGG THIS IS SO GOOD.

It's so infuriating because he'd think of you escaping him as an almost recreational activity for your benefit? Like he'd be leaving small "clues" and hints at times on concocting the perfect escape plan. Not that he genuinely wants you to escape, but he treats you escaping him as seriously as one would treat a cute bonding activity like solving a jigsaw puzzle together <3. Which makes you feel all the more insulted and somehow it feels demeaning in a way— not that he meant for it, he really does think it's a lighthearted activity— but he'd see how disheartened you'd feel ,that it's as if he's insulting your intellect then, he'd stop leaving game hints after or advice on how to plan a better escape. He doesn't mean to make you feel discouraged, he's just trying to be supportive of your favourite"past-time activity" :( he thought you knew that there would be no true escape and that you trying to escape is just a small way of having fun.

(and also it's his way of knowing if you'll start trying out new methods he won't expect. like let's say one day you genuinely vanish and were able to stay on the low for a few days, he'd be slightly wary after that, and just calmly make it sound like it's a light discussion so that you can have a friendly banter and chat about how you escaped him this time. That way he can take note and mentally catalogue it.)

"MON LAPIN" WITH ANNA THOUGH................ MUCH THOUGHTS. SO MUCH THOUGHTS TO LINGER ON ACTUALLY.......

I defnitely think Anna has a predator/prey kink. Unlike johan who reiterates that you will not escape him, I bet anna likes to actually make you believe you have a REAL chance at escaping every once in a while. Only because she finds it funny how crestfallen you'll be once you realise that your "serious" escape attempt wasn't even close at all, and that you only got that far because she let you. Though I will say as much as she admires your tears and almost genuine fear, if you choose to escape from her one day and she sees you laughing? smiling and almost having fun? and that you only ran out because you expected her to chase after you? She might just fall in love all over again.

[shakespeare-official-account]

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

your car is smoking

Anon come back with a mega-copypasta

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

skibidi i will eat your lungs and send the ducklings after you ebony raven darkness dementia way is going to buy you clothes the rizz shall microwave thee

[ask-the-four-lords]

dear daughters of Lady D,

eskibidi sigma pomni GYATT 💜 from ohio, rizz level 100, alpha male cant have nothing in detroit backrooms fanum taxxed to chat is this real in grimace shake kai cenat livvy dunne rizz gyatt no cap forreal FORREAL 💜, jschlatt rizzing up ishowmeat level 10 gyatt, EMBARRASING 💜!! Miniontown ohio roblox rizzler, goku phonk level insane, i forgor to ask for extra inside out freakytown freaking, what i do, mama, a girl behind you, rizzing up ellie and mason HOUSE 💜 in dress to impress, donatella versace, skibidi ice spice TOILET 💜

Mama, a girlscout ANON 💜 behind you

-🐾🍪🏕

Bela Dimitrescu: *Terrified* Oh my black god... I don't even have the time to fix all the spelling errors here *uncaps a highlighter* so I'm just going to complain and ask some *air quotes* "very" important questions. 1. *Begging* Please, never "show me your meat" 2. Why do all you care so much about Ohio and Detroit? And don't tell me I just don't know because Angie has somehow became a Crip so I'm a fucking expert on Detroit! 3. Why Ice Spice of all people?! She's not even attractive, her haircut is fucking ridiculous! 4. Why'd you just sprinkle in a bunch of random names for no real reason?! Ok, by this point these are all just random strings of letters and sounds... ok, you know what?! Fuck this, and fuck you! Get the fuck over here, I'm going to skibidi-bibity-strangle you! *She fulfils her promise, Daniela doesn't even get the chance to respond, pouting about it, later stealing some shit from Bela as retaliation. Cassandra helps because she thinks it's all fucking hilarious*

(I'm sorry I only responded for only one daughter, won't happen again. In my defense, I have no idea what any of this means and I am not spending probably multiple hours of my life trying and failing to decipher Urban Dictionary)

[jackalopescruff]

Absolutely garbage at flirting- just a flustered little sub who gets blushy and embarrassed when she sees a pretty girl wants to tell you that she thinks you’re really cool, and she loves your art, and she would love to kiss and snuggle with you

anon you failed the rizz check because i dont make art thats my wife. explodes you forever

[boxwinebaddie]

How/when does Jersey end up saying I love you?

oooooh! okay, so i was going to write it out ( i am jennifer slowpez so in nina fashion, i am spoiling it, what's new? ) but there is a part after this...if we remember this ask i am obsessed with where raven is diabolically patching jersey up via the tiny child sized hellokitty carebear bandids kyle bought for the kids he works w in the elementary school via that one anons delicious input...genius really.

*raven vc* pero like, so you know, they pull away it's awkward fml. dawg, they are about to *dreamy fit asf rm tolkien posh british vc* have a cheeky little snog like that entire whumpshot...anyways!

( ALRIGHT THIS IS LONG, VERY UNHINGED AND ROUGH SORRY I HOPE YOU SMILE LAUGH AND CRY PENDEJOS <3 )

kyle notices that the vinyl record player is playing their sadie hawkins first dance song ( idk what song it is but its an abba song because thats gay rights baby! its probably my love, my life or andante andante...branch in my eyes ) and theres a bowl of skittles, but only the red ones are in it...because stan still eats around the red ones bc only kyle can have the red ones....brb crying!

yadda yadda yadda. and i think on the tv, the screen is paused over a brand new episode of say yes to the dress ( if we recall, before i deleted chapter six...which was a disaster but also a masterpiece rip, ravenstan was being so boyfail cute in it in his armani suit and was rizzing the hell out of kyle with his crunchy boy knowledge of plants...when stan came over for their #hate fashionably late, kyle was stress-watching say yes to the dress...which is his favorite show because he claims to be allergic to romance, but secretly thinks its really beautiful that people can fall and love and get married...AAA )

but anyways, when they start dating say yes to the dress ( shoutout to when ravenstan forgot what it was called bc adhd and called it Are You Down With The Gown ) became their show and kyle very quietly is like "were you going to watch it?" and stan getting nervous, trying to deflect because they always watch it together is like uhuhuhHhHh and kyle, sad laugh shaking his head is like "baby" *yersey swearing* "dude...baby dude...my guy...just guy, fuck, you know you can watch it without me. we're not...Together. *hurts worse than his ribs* you don't have to wait for me." and stan is like "i-i know. i was going to...i-i Wanted to! i just--i couldn't. i couldn't watch all the people in...."

Love :(

he doesn't say it. but jersey kyle can FEEL it.

he winces. hard.

he wants to fucking die...he wants to say something but he's so stupid and he ruined ravenstan's life, words fail him but STAN!!! grabs his hand and is like "-because! because i knew it would make me miss you. and fuck it. FUCK EVERYTHING KYLE I FUCKING MISS YOU!!!! i miss you and i LOVE you and i don't--i don't care if you can't say it back! i don't have to wait for you, but i WILL! i want to! i'll--i'll wait forever! YOURE MY FOREVER. people tell me they love me everyday, but with you--i can feel it. I. Just. Know. and that's enough! you're enough. YOURE ENOUGH, KYLE BROFLOVSKI. just the way you are. and i'm sorry...i'm sorry i pushed you and tried to change you. i was just, i was insecure about it i guess--and--and--"

cue kyle smiling like an idiot ( the rare kyle smile ) like "...stan?"

ft. stan still yapping smh like "oh my god, i miss you SO much! curb only got into the trash because you weren't here to remind me. and i had pasta from this five star restaurant the other day and oh my god, ky. it was TRASH! yours is so much better! and-and i think i broke the washing machine earlier, oh my god, it sounded like an explosion, i can't find anything, i--"

kyle...literally still trying to get stans attention smh going

"stan? hey? stan???? Stan???"

stans still yapping btw ( oh my god when he is passionate the man never shuts the hell up hes like rambling himself into a corner ) like "and theres this new exhibit in the aquarium and theres this huge red fish in it and i wanted to send it to you and be like 'this you' but were fighting and I HATE FIGHTING WITH YOU. can we stop fighting? :< i miss you. will you please come home? curb misses you, i miss you, i--"

*jersey vc* STANLEY MARSH!

*stan doing the wide flustered doe eye thing with the lip ring lip bite combo that makes kyle like actually criminally insane with love feels*

speaking of...

he leeeeeeeeeeeeeeans in...

gently grasps ravenstan's face

KISSES THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT OUT OF HIM.

and says

and i quote...

"Te amo." <3

AAAAAAAAAA AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIIIIILD :')

-uncle nina, gratuitous undivorcer of ravesey style