#askthefourlords

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna are you one of those girl kissers?

Donna Beneviento: No... m-maybe.

Alcina Dimitrescu, in the background: *Moving her fists up and down repeatedly* One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us.

[ask-the-four-lords]

Don't know if this has been ask if so ignore this lol.

To all the lords, dimitrescu sisters and mother miranda what is your type?

:D

(I'm going to have them all answer honestly because if we're being realistic they'd all lie either a little or about basically the entire question)

Alcina Dimitrescu: Adorable, tasteful, intelligent, amusing, talented, strong-willed *seductive tone* yet entirely submissive at the right times.

Donna Beneviento: *Swallows* U-understanding, caring... no... no... I-I just want someone... to-to really love me *sobs*...

Salvatore Moreau: Someone... *barely keeps down some acid* someone whlo is nod afraid uh me... *cries* l-loving... like in muh-muh movies... *fails to keep down acid, it gets all over the floor* (He doesn't say it but also someone who fits the mommy bill)

Karl Heisenberg: Heh, smart, pretty, witty, charmin', and most impordenly, they're a real fighter, don't let any motherfucker hold em down but occasionally ready to be held down. *realizes there are some similarities between his statement and the 'big bitch's', gags. He speaks after in a rare moment of vulnerability* Hones'ly, I just don' wanna be alone anymore... I got no one but Sturm at the momen'. *Grimaces* Speaking of the fucker... YOU STUPID SACK OF SHIT! I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS SICK FUCKING WORLD AND I'll TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Giggles* I'd like an adorable little maid... romantic and pretty.

(Sorry I didn't do Bela and Cassandra I am really sleep deprived, I'll probably be back to edit and add them in the next two days)

[ask-the-four-lords]

*Runs up to Heisenberg and boops him on the nose*

BOOP

*Runs away giggling manically*

Karl Heisenberg: *Blushes a little, doesn't take long for him to settle on pissed despite* The hell was that?! *The bear chases you hammer in hand* Get back you somnabitch! Nobody *he restrains a chuckle as he says it* "boops" Karl god damn Heisenberg!!!

[ask-the-four-lords]

🫵queers

-a queer

Alcina Dimitrescu: Darling, the word is lesbian. and, yes, yes I am. My sapphic nature goes unmatched.

Donna Beneviento: *Hides behind her veil even more than usual* What... I...

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Deranged giggling* Maaaaaybe.

Cassandra Dimitrescu: *Mutters*I've been meaning to kill one of these weirdos...

Bela Dimitrescu: I guess that is the word for it...

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna

May I have you a hug?

Donna Beneviento: *Almost runs at you, her mourning robe almost tripping her, she's so touch starved and desperate for anyone, almost inaudible* Please... so cold...

[ask-the-four-lords]

did angie vote for kanye?? 😀

Angie Beneviento: I was going to vote for Kanye but then I realized I can just run for president, and now I'm gonna run. ANGIE BENEVIENTO 2024 BITCHES!!!!!!!! I'M NEVER GONNA DIE!!!!!

[ask-the-four-lords]

do the four lords have any tips for seasonal depression (at this point it’s just clinical)

Alcina Dimitrescu: Blood, you can never drink enough blood. The screams of the manthings are also oft pleasant distractions.

Donna Beneviento: The seasonally depressed are amateurs.

Karl Heisenberg: Tear some shit up! Violence! Property destruction! That always helps me.

Salvatore Moreau: Copious amounts of cheese and rom-coms

[ask-the-four-lords]

nice to know i live rent free in your head lady dimitrescu, even if its by the one thing i didnt know about

maybe i should rebrand to cherry wine anon just to piss you off /aff

Anyways, lady beneviento whats your favourite fabric to work with?

-pasta anon

Alcina Dimitrescu: The reason I continue to think about it is because cherry wine is one of the most sad and tasteless things in existence, you tragic simpleton.

Donna Beneviento: *A little less quiet due to being comfortable with fabric talk* I like to work with silk because it looks the prettiest on all my friends.

[ask-the-four-lords]

To Lady D

Hey have you ever heard of Downton Abbey if not I think you would get on well with the Dowager Countess. One of my favourite quotes of hers is:

"He's a man. Men don't have rights."

Plus, the Dowager is just so cool anyway. I think you'd like her.

Alcina Dimitrescu: *Shocked, mouths the quote to herself* My god... *almost immediately knows she has to bring her to the castle, a countess, man-hating, seemingly intelligent, classful, she checks all the boxes* Daniela, Cassandra, Bela, to me! I intend to seek out this Dowager Countess woman! And you my darlings are going to help me. Bela, get the only friend I willingly have in noble circles on the phone. I imagine Lord Salazar will know where to find her. Once she's been located I'll invite her for some made-up reason. Cassandra, please put the maids on overtime, and I hate to ask it of you my love but please make sure all the corpses are moved out of plain sight. Give it a couple days and it'll no longer be necessary. Bela, once you're done find me the best vintage we have, spare nothing, make sure it's blooded. Of course find some good tea as well. Daniela, peruse the library for poetry, your less tripe favorites. *gives her a look* Then all three of you, once our guests arrive wipe off the blood, personally I think it adds to your charm ever so much but newcomers have to warm to it if they're willing guests. Personally, I'll be preparing something or other to do once the date arrives and find my finest garments, under and over. *muttered to herself* This should be an interesting seduction.

[ask-the-four-lords]

Alcina?

How aware are you of the many fanfics that are about you?

Alcina Dimitrescu: What exactly are you talking about? I know many of the maidens have crushes on me but I was unaware of this "fanfic" you speak of. Wait, Daniela reads that... and some exists... about me... oh no... oh, oh yes... *muttered, seductively and invested in knowing more of her followers beliefs, also scared of their degeneracy, whether romantic, smut, or angst, she wants to know*

[ask-the-four-lords]

M'LADY PLEAAAAASE I BEG YOU, SAVE ME FROM THE REAL WORLD, BE MY MOTHER :(((

-Angelique 🪽

Alcina Dimitrescu: *Barely restraining her maternal instinct, eventually gets distracted for the sake of complaining* Oh black god... this reminds me of the last time one of the maids accidentally called me mommy, at least one of them does it a week.

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna my love, can i be your girlfriend? Promise I'll love you and never leave you! Please please please please please please

Donna Beneviento: *with hopeful puppy dog eyes*N-never leave? love... truly?

[ask-the-four-lords]

To all the ladies (except Angie LMAO or nah idc💓)

"Why are you guys so tall?"

*sulks in being 5'0 😭*

- Angelita 🥔🪽

Donna Beneviento: *Confused, shy* I-I-I-I don't know, what do you mean?...

Daniela and Cassandra Dimitrescu: *Laughs in 6,3*

Bela Dimitrescu: As far as I know, in my research the Cadou has, of course, improved all of our physical attributes drastically, height included.

Karl Heisenberg, I threw him in too because fuck it: *Yells loud and drunk, in response to Bela* Yeah! Exactly, whatever she just said... *slurring* 'sides Cassandra my favor'id, heh, heh, heh, Bels is sucend, heh, heh.

Alcina Dimitrescu: *Says something but due to her almost being twice your height you can't hear her*

[ask-the-four-lords]

Dear daughters of lady D,

GIRLKISSERS!!!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!!! YOJ LIKE GIRLLLLSSS!!!! HAHAHAHHA!!!!!! GAY!!!! GAYYYYYY!!!!! HOMOSEXUALS, I TELL YOU!! WOMANLOVERS!!!! LADYLICKERS!!!! HEGEHEHEGEHHEHEH!!!!!

IS THE CLOSET WARM AND COMFY??? DYOU HAVE SNACKS IN THERE??!?!?! HAHAHAHAH!!!!! YOU LIKE WENNCHESSSSS!!! FAIR MAIDENS!!! HJEHEHEHEHEH!!!! (country 'farmboy' laugh, slaps knee comically), GAYYYY!!!!! DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL OUT OF SCISSOR CITY??? FLAT ONTO UR FACE?? or onto one of ur servants face.. or neck, .. AHHAHAHSHAHSHHSHAHAHAJSJJ!!!!!

Thats it. Thats the ask.

-- Lesbian girlscouting Anon 👽

Bela Dimitrescu: Thanks for asking human, it is extremely comfortable here in the closet.

Daniela Dimitrescu: I brought snacks for me and Bels!

Cassandra Dimitrescu: Yeah, I know you brought them for you and Bela, Dani! Because you refuse to fucking share! *Flips Daniela off*

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Tauntingly eats the snacks facing Cassandra, other hand giving the middle finger back*

(I know they're almost definitely not closeted, given they write the law in the castle, and they don't have to worry about not being accepted because their mom and aunt are somehow even gayer. BUT, I really wanted to write that.)

[ask-the-four-lords]

L-l-lady Donna

Would you like m-my beans on toast? *sob*

Donna Beneviento: *Looks at you in dead silence, unsure what to say, ends up taking the food and slowly walking away with it*

Angie Beneviento: *You hear the sound of breaking ceramic across the manor. When you arrive to make sure they're ok you see neither of them have touched the beans on toast BUT Angie is currently eating the plate*

[ask-the-four-lords]

*boops Bela's nose*

Bela Dimitrescu: *Giggles softly before eventually recomposing herself, she has an expression of shame on her face. She speaks, tone turning threatening* If you tell a single soul *some shyness breaks through* w-what I just did *she recovers, threatening tone back* I will fucking end you. You do not want to test me.