#askthefourlords

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna are you one of those girl kissers?

Donna Beneviento: No... m-maybe.

Alcina Dimitrescu, in the background: *Moving her fists up and down repeatedly* One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us.

[ask-the-four-lords]

did angie vote for kanye?? 😀

Angie Beneviento: I was going to vote for Kanye but then I realized I can just run for president, and now I'm gonna run. ANGIE BENEVIENTO 2024 BITCHES!!!!!!!! I'M NEVER GONNA DIE!!!!!

[ask-the-four-lords]

do the four lords have any tips for seasonal depression (at this point it’s just clinical)

Alcina Dimitrescu: Blood, you can never drink enough blood. The screams of the manthings are also oft pleasant distractions.

Donna Beneviento: The seasonally depressed are amateurs.

Karl Heisenberg: Tear some shit up! Violence! Property destruction! That always helps me.

Salvatore Moreau: Copious amounts of cheese and rom-coms

[ask-the-four-lords]

Dear daughters of lady D,

GIRLKISSERS!!!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!!! YOJ LIKE GIRLLLLSSS!!!! HAHAHAHHA!!!!!! GAY!!!! GAYYYYYY!!!!! HOMOSEXUALS, I TELL YOU!! WOMANLOVERS!!!! LADYLICKERS!!!! HEGEHEHEGEHHEHEH!!!!!

IS THE CLOSET WARM AND COMFY??? DYOU HAVE SNACKS IN THERE??!?!?! HAHAHAHAH!!!!! YOU LIKE WENNCHESSSSS!!! FAIR MAIDENS!!! HJEHEHEHEHEH!!!! (country 'farmboy' laugh, slaps knee comically), GAYYYY!!!!! DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL OUT OF SCISSOR CITY??? FLAT ONTO UR FACE?? or onto one of ur servants face.. or neck, .. AHHAHAHSHAHSHHSHAHAHAJSJJ!!!!!

Thats it. Thats the ask.

-- Lesbian girlscouting Anon 👽

Bela Dimitrescu: Thanks for asking human, it is extremely comfortable here in the closet.

Daniela Dimitrescu: I brought snacks for me and Bels!

Cassandra Dimitrescu: Yeah, I know you brought them for you and Bela, Dani! Because you refuse to fucking share! *Flips Daniela off*

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Tauntingly eats the snacks facing Cassandra, other hand giving the middle finger back*

(I know they're almost definitely not closeted, given they write the law in the castle, and they don't have to worry about not being accepted because their mom and aunt are somehow even gayer. BUT, I really wanted to write that.)

[ask-the-four-lords]

To the four lords : QUICK ! IT’S MOTHERS DAY ! WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO GIVE TO MOTHER MIRANDA ?!

Alcina Dimitrescu: *With pride* 'One of my finest vintages.

Salvatore Moreau: I-I-I made her a cull craft... I wunted to make momma something pretty. It's all messed up now. *He picks a piece of twine out of his crown*

Donna Beneviento: I made a little doll version of her. *Plays around with it, making it look like she's talking*

Karl Heisenberg: I made a statue of her, 'welded the whole fucker together. *leaning to whisper to you* Psst, I'll tell ya a secret, the whole thing is loaded with Semtex...

[ask-the-four-lords]

Do yall like beer?

Alcina Dimitrescu: No, it's a disgusting dirt-people drink, for commoners.

Karl Heisenberg: Hell fuckin' yeah! 'Love it.

Bela Dimitrescu: Mother is right, it tastes like Uncle Moreau smells.

Cassandra Dimitrescu: *Nonchalant* Sure

Daniela Dimitrescu: I really like it... just don't tell mom I said that! She'd have a heart attack.

[ask-the-four-lords]

*kisses Donna's freaky eye thing*

Donna Beneviento: *Donna blushes madly, putting her head down, letting Angie take the wheel, Jesus take the fucking wheel lol*

Angie Beneviento: Donna is completely fine! *Waving her wooden hand* Look away! Look away! I'm all cracked out right now! she's not blushing, she's not freaking the fuck out, shut up! She's not feeling weirdly warm and nice, you are! Fuck you! *Donna realizing Angie has failed runs out of the room at full speed, doing her best to hide her face*

[ask-the-four-lords]

To Our dearest Re8 Women (Lady Dimitrescu, Muses Bela/Cassandra/Daniela, Donna (+little Angie), and even Mother Miranda (if you're here) : Remember that all of you holds a different definition of beauty, but as humans are just simpletons we tend to come up always with the easiest way or in this case, words to describe or explain things in short term.. Beautiful/Gorgeous/Alluring,etc.. But just so you know, that it will take the right person to tell each one of you the deepest meaning of beauty you hold that they can only rectify not only with words or actions but something deeper, unexplainable, but can be felt.

Good day..

-FirePotato

Alcina Dimitrescu: Thank you, dear, I always appreciate the praise of the masses. And, I could not agree more with your sentiment on adjectives, outright positive words can never truly capture the beauty of another even if they can get close.

Daniela Dimitrescu: Awwwh! Little human! *Pinches your cheek*

Cassandra Dimitrescu: See! Blood IS a good cosmetic product, 'told you Bela!

Bela Dimitrescu: That's... th-thank you, human... your words sound like some decent poetry.

Donna Beneviento: R-really?... you think that someone will really feel like that about?... me?

[ask-the-four-lords]

Genuine question for the huggable Donna Beneviento; how old are you?

Donna Beneviento: I'm about 50... I, I stopped aging at 23 so it, it doesn't really matter.

President Angie: I AM GOD! Gods do not age, mortal! I will destroy the universe and reign over infinity bow down to President Angie!

(I know she got implanted in 1996 but I usually try and head canon the lords to be older because it's usually more interesting and it doesn't really oppose canon anyways, only like a decade for most of them, Donna gets two because she's the most recent lord.)

[ask-the-four-lords]

*Standing outside Donna's door with rissotto and black tea in hand*

Please let me back in :(( I'll turn my back when you eat I promise </3 and for Lady Angie, I'll get you any weapon in the world- I know a supplier 👉👈

-pasta anon

Donna Beneviento: I- *Angie opens the door*

President Angie: Wow! Heehee, you did your fucking homework on this one!

[ask-the-four-lords]

I want you to bench press me.

(directed to all the ladies. Including Angie)

Alcina Dimitrescu: I'm sure I can lift you with one hand but why exactly is the part I don't understand.

Bela Dimitrescu: *Dead silence, flustered by the question, desperately tries to hide her face under the book she's reading, then realizes it's not enough and tries to pull her hood farther over her face*

Cassandra Dimitrescu: 'Can and will.

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Tries and fails to restrain laughter, think a Biggus Dickus reaction*

Donna Beneviento: *Just fucking runs as fast as physically possible, almost tripping on her veil*

Angie Beneviento: I can lift the Empire fucking State building! Try me! How much do you lift bro?! Huh?!

[ask-the-four-lords]

"Donna Donna! You're so cute and pretty me likey~"

*pat pat*

*pats Angie too so she don't bite me*

- angelita

Donna Beneviento: *Balls herself up in her chair, incredibly shy, speaks, in disbelief* I-I am?

Angie Beneviento: *Instantly goes for your fingers, nearly nibbling some off. when she sees Donna's reaction she recedes*

[ask-the-four-lords]

*cooks a five star Michelin steak from a... very special meat and presents it in front of the Dimitrescu family*

a way to win someone's heart is through their stomach right? ;)

- Bela's admirer

Cassandra Dimitrescu: *Strangely positive* You're right about that! You do have to go through the stomach to get someone's heart! You just gotta open 'em up. And then from there *motioning* it's just a downward pull. You reach into their guts and then, *makes a wrenching motion* you tear it out. Trust me! It's worth it for all that juicy man-heart-blood!

Daniela Dimitrescu: *Daniela picks up the steak and begins grabbing and tearing and biting her way through it. Some slivers of meat fly across the table*

Alcina Dimitrescu: *Scolding* Daniela Dimitrescu! That is no way to eat! A Dimitrescu eats with manners and class! *Daniela slows down not wanting to offend her mother*

Bela Dimitrescu: *Eats the person-steak slowly and almost seductively, maintaining direct, unflinching, eye-contact with you as she does.*

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna, did it hurt when you fell from girl kisser land? (Best pickup line ever)

Donna Beneviento: What... what do you mean "girl kisser land?" where is that, is that real?...

President Angie Beneviento: 'Course it hurt when she fell from girl kisser land! *Giggles maniacally* Her fall made her more concussed than a college football player!

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna... I think I done an oopsie, I accidentally burnt the water when I was trying to cook pasta...... -🐰

Donna Beneviento: H-how... *completely at a loss, embarrassed despite being the sane one* do you... b-burn water?

[ask-the-four-lords]

Donna can I kiss you? Girl kissing of course 💕

Donna Beneviento: What?... Why?... No one has kissed me before. *clinging to veil for safety* You don't, shouldn't. I'm a... *slowly backs away, shyness taking complete hold. After she backs out of the room Angie turns to face you.*

Angie Beneviento: *giggling madly* Simp! Simp! Hee hee hee!