#fadel loves bison like his own heart

[thekitsandthekats]

okay can we please dicuss this revelation please like i feel like im losing my mind. i don't know if the possibility of them not actually being brothers was discussed before but i didn't come across anything so when i saw this: I LOST MY SHIT

two pictures of two different couples (i think) so two sets of parents. bison and fadel might not be actual brothers. only brought together by Mother and her band of assassins. like this changes things for me because it makes fadels love for bison so so much more than what it was before. like because of the job, and his personality, he has every reason to not want anything to do with anyone. but at some point in his life he saw little bison, little bison who lost everything dear to him and he vowed to protect him, to claim him as his brother. like if this is true then just think of fadel and bison both finding their parents dead and having nowhere to go, no one to turn to but each other.

in both of these they seem to be alone, or the only child in the room, which makes me think they're not bio brothers but idk maybe it's angling, or its different parts of the same house but who knows. im going with my theory that they're not brothers but two lost boys completely dedicated to keeping the other safe. esp because bison says

MY parents. not OUR parents. and he's looking at both sets of photos so i think he's talking about the parental couples as seperate sets. one for fadel and one for him. like i need you to understand the implications here. fadel and bison have been through thick and thin together, doing jobs, causing crime, killing men, losing their parents, their families, TOGETHER. fadels protectiveness has reached all new levels for me and i am melting at the thought of it.

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP4: Kantbison as "Partners in Crime"

At this point in the story, Kant and Bison are effectively standing on opposite sides. Their whole side quest to punish Babe's bullies and teacher felt like foreshadowing - an example of how well these two can work together when they are on the same team. More importantly, how much their values align when in pursuit of the same objective.

A strict moral compass underlies Bison and Fadel's work. They only target 'the bad guys' - those who deserve what's coming to them. So it's deeply ingrained in Bison's psyche to fight for injustice. When he notices Babe's bruises, his brain immediately deduces foul play and is compelled to help Kant find the perpetrator, regardless of his own growing suspicions around Kant's integrity.

Kant doesn't mean to act with ill intent but is willing to do unethical things where necessary in order to achieve a goal. Spiking Bison's drink was a particularly dicey move. We know this is all in aid of protecting his brother but Bison doesn't. So when Kant declares, "I only cared about my brother at first, but my boyfriend's right. If I let you go, you're only going to do it to other children" it demonstrates that firstly, Kant supports the stance of doing the just thing, and secondly that he agrees with following Bison's example because they align in their values.

To Bison, seeing first-hand that they respect the same moral code, one that Kant is willing to put into action, earns his respect. "I might not trust you 100% but i have to admit... What you did today totally rocks." A man who is willing to expose a paedophile and save other potential victims, can't be all that bad can he? A man who has a conscience, who has deemed his own history of stealing cars as something he's not proud of, is not one of the 'bad guys' surely?

Now, why is this important? Well, once they have exposed their respective positions, acknowledging that they can actually work alongside each other will enable them to overcome this fact. They've established that precedence here. We're getting a glimpse into what could come after the fallout.

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating in real time as the show airs.

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[clairedaring]

Plot Spoilers of GMMTV 2024 - Part 2 Series

So GMMTV accidentally???? intentionally??? spoiled the detailed plots to most of their 2024 part 2 lineup series through their public pamphlet at the Busan International Film Festival. So I'm just making this post to compile them.

WARNING: MAJOR ENDING SPOILERS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

.

.

.

.

.

.

okay enough warning. now you're on your own.

The Heart Killers

A cool tattooist who works as a spy for the police is assigned to investigate brutal gunman brothers, so he tries to flirt with the younger one to dig up their information. When his attempt is interfered with by the older brother, the tattooist has to find someone to get rid of him, someone to hit on the scary-looking gunman. He then enlists the help of his handsome friend to join in his mission to win the gunman brothers' hearts and start a new life with a clean slate.

This is a story about Kant (First Kanaphan), a handsome and talented tattooist who is part-time a police spy and part-time charming playboy. One day, he meets an attractive man at a bowling alley and has the best one-night stand of his life, only to wake up and find that the guy has disappeared without leaving him his number. All Kant can think about is that passionate night. Later, he gets assigned a new mission to Investigate two killers wanted by the police. Whether it's good or bad luck, one of them turns out to be his hot one-night stand. Kant doesn't want to do it, but the captain makes him an offer he can't say no- to clean up his criminal record of past car theft.

Kant does some research and learns that the two assassins live undercover as hamburger shop owners. He goes to have a meal there and sees Bison (Khaotung Thanawat), the man he has slept with that night. A spark happens between them and Kant starts making a move on Bison to find out who is behind everything. Even though Bison feels something for Kant, they face a big obstacle in the name of Fadel (Joong Archen), Bison's big brother who worries about his safety. Because Fadel doesn't want Bison to bond with anyone and he doesn't trust Kant, he tries to stop the two from getting together. Bison wants to start a relationship with Kant, so he suggests finding Fadel a partner to distract him, but the problem is, who would dare hit on Fadel? Kant thinks of his gorgeous and charming best friend named Style (Dunk Natachai) who is a real pain in the neck and not afraid of anything. Style is a car mechanic who has once rear-ended Fadel's car and gotten into a fight with him. Kant promises Style his car that the latter has eyes on if he can win Fadel's heart. Style says yes to the deal and begins pursuing Fadel immediately with the knowledge of Fadel's daily routines that Kant receives from Bison and forwards to him. Style persistently chases after Fadel, doing everything he can to insert himself into his life. Fadel is annoyed but secretly likes that Style is not afraid of him like the others.

While his fake relationship is going well, Kant has to finish his mission of spying on the killers. He discovers that the mastermind is Madam Lily, mother of Fadel and Bison who has adopted the two from an orphanage and trained them to be killers. Later when the two brothers make mistakes in their mission and cause some information to leak out, Bison starts doubting Kant and finds out that he's a police spy. Bison tells Fadel what he learns and the big brother is furious because he has fallen in love with Style. Bison himself also feels so angry and betrayed that he takes Kant away to kill him. Meanwhile, Fadel has to search for his younger brother as both of them are being hunted by Keen (Pepper Phanuroj), Madam Lily's other adopted child who has been jealous that the two get big assignments. Now he gets an order to kill them because they have screwed up. Fadel threatens Style to follow him and help him look for Bison. The two run for their lives and get closer, feeling both love and hatred for each other. In the end, Bison can't bring himself to kill Kant so he lets him go. However, Kant has real feelings for Bison so he refuses to leave and wants to help him get a normal life. When Fadel and Style find Bison and Kant, they tell them the truth about Madam Lily. The two brothers want revenge, but Kant and Style don't want them to kill anyone anymore, worrying something bad might happen to them. Kant and Style propose that the four of them steal Madam Lily's money and run away together. They kickstart the stealing plan by having Kant and Style enter an event by disguising themselves as waiters and escorts. They find their way to Madam Lily, catch her, demand her to open her safe, and then take something important from her. The whole gang manages to steal big cash and runs away together without killing a single soul.

Ultimately, Kant fails to clear his criminal record but he doesn't care anymore. Now he shares a new dream with Bison. The two run away to another country together while Fadel and Style decide to stay and continue running the restaurant. They're not afraid of the big boss' influence because they have taken records of Madam Lily's illegal activities to ensure that they will be able to live a normal life without anyone bothering them ever again.

Ossan's Love Thailand

The messy love story begins when Heng, a bachelor working in a real estate company whose love life is as hopeless as his work life, stumbles upon his own photos on the phone and computer of branch manager Kongdech, aka his boss. Heng certainly finds this behavior strange, and all the stranger considering that his boss has been married for 30 years.

Meanwhile, Kongdech's daughter has been trying to set her single father up for a match for years after her mother died. She finds out that her father might be in love with someone, and a little investigation leads her to believe that it is someone from the company. She then asks Heng to help her find out who the lucky girl is, only to learn that it is Heng himself who has stolen her father's heart! She is definitely taken aback at first, but after gaining her composure, she puts her whole heart into rooting for her father and hoping for the best for his new love.

When Kongdech finally confesses his love, it sends shock through Heng's world who has never liked men before, and it doesn't help either that this confession comes from none other than his amazing boss. As if things aren't confusing enough as it is, his new colleague and roommate, Mo, also falls in love with him. Heng finds himself in a messy situation, with two men fighting to win his heart. But after living together under the same roof, proximity makes him choose Mo and decides to live together as lovers.

The two men start dating, and all the while Mo realizes that Heng has never had a lover before, let alone a male one at that. But while things are looking up, Chicha, Heng's female childhood friend, confesses her love to him. Mo, who happens to hear the conversation, resolves to himself that maybe Heng actually wants to date women and have the perfect family he has always dreamed of, Mo decides to break up with him and leaves the house, ending their relationship. But instead of a new girlfriend, Heng finds comfort in none other than Kongdech, his own boss, who has slowly taken Mo's place at home, never letting Heng lift a finger around the house. They may be dating now, but Kongdech knows deep down that Heng still has feelings for Mo. On the eve of their wedding, Kongdech finally makes Heng realize just whom his heart actually belongs to. Heng leaves the wedding immediately, running to find Mo who he truly falls for.

Us The Series

Dokrak is an 18-year-old who decides to take a gap year after finishing high school to find herself. She has a part-time job at a coworking space coffee shop called "Cuf & Co." It's here that she crosses paths with Pam, a 22-year-old dentistry student, who is a regular at this cafe to hit the books. Dokrak gets to know Pam and develops a secret crush on her, until Kawee, her 24-year-old biological brother and a medical student, meets Pam by chance and falls for her at first sight. Kawee turns to Dokrak, asking her to play matchmaker. Because Dokrak really loves her brother and wants to see him happy, she agrees to help. Dokrak begins the mission of helping her brother to hit on a beautiful woman like Pam. She coaches him on wooing Pam with different techniques, including taking care of her, flirting with romantic words, and writing a love letter, but as time passes, she finds herself unable to ignore her growing feelings for Pam because of their intimacy. Even Dokrak realizes it, she has already fallen for Pam. Eventually, Pam agrees to date Kawee, so Dokrak must keep her feelings hidden, knowing she can't fall for her "brother's girlfriend."

But as Pam and Kawee's relationship progresses, they encounter challenges due to Pam's reluctance to engage in physical intimacy, such as touching, kissing, and making love. This is stemming from her past trauma as her high school ex-boyfriend once harassed her. This trauma is the reason Pam doesn't like physical touch. One day, Pam discovers that Kawee sleeps with another woman. In the end, Dokrak advises her to break up with Kawee.

Kawee explains that it's just physical cheating, which results from Pam refusing physical intimacy with him. Despite his insistence that Pam is the only one he loves, Pam is deeply disappointed in him. Pam turns to Dokrak for some advice, asking how she should handle it and whether she should give Kawee another chance. On the one hand, Dokrak doesn't want Pam to break up with her brother, but, on the other hand, she feels a good person like Pam deserves better.

Dokrak regrets giving her that advice because after Pam asks for a break up, she disappears from both Kawee and Dorrak's lives. Kawee feels really heartbroken, remaining unable to move on and desperately wanting Pam back. Meanwhile, Dokrak misses Pam, her favorite sister, a lot, hoping for a future reunion with her one day.

After several months, Pam reappears at Cuf & Co, providing Dokrak an opportunity to reconnect after having lost touch for so long. They become close again as Pam generously offers to tutor Dokrak, who plans to take a university entrance exam the following year. Meanwhile, Eak, the 27- year-old owner of Cuf & Co, who has had a crush on Pam all along, notices a close relationship between Dokrak and Pam, so he asks her to act as a matchmaker between him and Pam. Simultaneously, Peem, a 23-year-old barista known for his kindness and good looks, confesses his feelings to Dokrak.

Dokrak and Pam both have feelings for each other, but Dokrak chooses to keep them hidden because she doesn't dare to and is, deep inside, burdened by guilt over his brother's situation. Meanwhile, Pam is confused about her actual feelings for Dokrak. In the midst of her confusion, Pam decides to embark on a relationship with a tomboy named Oat, who is about the same age, hoping to clarify her feelings towards women. However, Pam eventually realizes that she has no feelings for Oat, but her affections lie solely with...Dokrak.

Acknowledging her feelings, Pam straightforwardly confesses to Dokrak, leading them to start a romantic relationship together. Pam and Dokrak both enjoy a period of happiness until Kawee discovers their relationship. Kawee seems very hurt and disappointed. Stricken with guilt and remorse for causing her brother pain, Dokrak decides to end her relationship with Pam.

Following Dokrak's decision to end their relationship, Pam disappears from her life again, leaving Dokrak seriously in pain. Witnessing his sister in misery, Kawee is filled with guilt, recognizing he's the one causing her sorrow. Eventually, Kawee manages to get over Pam. He urges Dokrak to follow what her heart desires, telling her that he supports her love because he wants his sister to be happy with the person she loves. Dokrak tries her best to win Pam's heart again, and, finally, their love is fulfilled. Pam and Dokrak now have courage to love each other.

Perfect 10 Liners

The chaotic university saga kicks off as Arm (Book Kasidet) realizes his lifelong dream of being accepted into the Faculty of Engineering. However, his moment of triumph is quickly overshadowed by mayhem. As part of a customary ritual, first-year students draw lots to determine their higher-year peer mentors. By a stroke of fate, Arm lands himself into the exclusive circle of the 'Divine Peers,' a group comprising extraordinary students from various years, with Yeepun, a captivating female student, as his second-year peer mentor. To further complicate matters, Yeepun entrusts him with the formidable task of managing the Engineer Cute Boy page, a widely popular online platform.

Despite his reluctance, Arm performs admirably as the page administrator. In response to many fans' requests, he uploads a photo of 'Ark' (Force Jiratchapong), a third-year Civil Engineering student, unaware of the prohibition against doing so, as Ark vehemently objects to such actions. Not knowing the admin's identity, Ark sends a harsh message demanding the photo be deleted. Arm immediately detests Ark's rudeness and develops a dislike for the man. Little does he know, Ark is one of the 'Divine Peers, and to make matters worse, his third-year peer mentor. Despite his reservations, Arm finds himself occasionally Interacting with Ark, not only because of their mentorship but also because many people seek Arm's assistance to connect with the blunt and private Ark.

What Arm does not know is that he is in Ark's inner circle because Ark wants him to. Ark, smitten with Arm at first sight, secretly cares for him and endeavors to better himself to become a suitable match for Arm. Despite his typically hot-headed nature and penchant for risk-taking, Ark restrains himself out of fear of endangering Arm. Meanwhile, Arm remains oblivious to Ark's feelings, Amidst the chaos and many headaches, Arm gradually begins to understand his own heart. Before they realize it, their relationship evolves from peer mentor and peer mentee to boyfriends.

On the first day of university life, disaster strikes hard for Gun (Chimon Wachirawit (t/n: Chimon has now been replaced with Santa Pongsapak). As hapless as he is, Gun accidentally breaks a bathroom faucet and finds himself soaked like a puppy. With a stroke of luck, one classmate comes to his rescue. However, amidst the chaos, Gun is too preoccupied to get a good look at the person's face, only catching a glimpse of their shoes. As he tries to navigate his new surroundings and classmates, Gun is determined to find the one who saved him from the bathroom mishap. Eventually, he tracks down Faifa (Junior Panachai) and expresses his gratitude, unaware that Faifa knows nothing of the incident. As they get to know each other, Gun realizes that it was actually Yotha (Perth Tanapon), Faifa's older Irish twin, who wears identical shoes, that he should be thanking. Despite being siblings, their personalities couldn't be more different. Faifa is friendly and approachable, while Yotha exudes an air of mystery, as if harboring secrets.

Gun suffers from a health issue: he can't sleep in darkness due to an unfortunate childhood incident. This becomes problematic when he shares an on-campus dorm with a roommate who can't tolerate sleeping with the lights on. Yotha, however, has no such issue and offers to switch places with Gun's roommate, as he rarely returns to the dorm at night. Yotha keeps his promise, disappearing after dark and returning in the morning. Gun is suspicious of Yotha's nocturnal activities; rumors swirl, suggesting he's mingling with girls or involved in illicit activities. Gun attempts to confront Yotha about it, but Yotha always avoids the subject.

Yotha is fearful of love, disappointment, and loss. He does not want to lose his mother, as he did with his father. He does not want to be abandoned as his ex-lover did to him. He does not want to see anyone betrayed by their love. So he chooses to become a third wheel in people's relationships, encouraging one party to cheat in the hopes that his actions help the person being cheated on recognize the truth sooner. He frequently gets into disputes and is beaten up by the boyfriends of the girls he charms.

As Gun and Yotha grow closer, they gradually learn more about each other. Yet, when Yotha realizes he's on the brink of falling in love, fear of loss resurfaces, prompting him to withdraw. However, with time, Yotha learns that love isn't always cruel, and Gunyukol is a risk worth taking again.

Wine (Mark Jiruntanin) becomes the latest member of the 'Divine Peers' through the lucky draw. Yotha, Wine's second-year peer mentor, is preoccupied with his boyfriend, leaving him with little time for his mentee. Stepping in, Faifa (Junior Panachai), a remarkably friendly second-year student, takes over the role and looks after his older brother's mentee.

Faifa learns that Wine recently ended his relationship with Toey, his girlfriend from before university, after developing feelings for Tor, Toey's older brother. To avoid further guilt towards Toey, Wine opted for an amicable breakup. Now with Tor's recent coming out as a man attracted to men, Wine feels hopeful but unsure about approaching him. Faifa offers his assistance, volunteering to serve as Wine's practice ground, allowing Wine to hone his approach before making a move on Tor.

From their close interaction, feelings unexpectedly blossom. Faifa finds himself genuinely falling for Wine but hesitates to reveal the emotions, fearing it might disrupt his role as Wine's coach in pursuing Tor. Meanwhile, Wine also develops affection for Faifa, though Faifa's naturally over-friendly demeanor leaves him uncertain about his own significance to Faifa.

Faifa nearly loses Wine before they both muster the courage to confess their feelings. In a bold move, Faifa, who has never been truly committed to anyone, changes his approach for Wine, abandoning his flirtatious ways and prioritizing Wine above all else. In turn, Wine becomes Faifa's singular focus, capturing Faifa's heart like no one else ever has.

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist

Sont is a marketing student who has been single for far too long. One day, per the recommendation of his student mentor, Sont goes on a date with Jamie or Jay, an older dentistry student. But no matter how impressed Sont is by their first meeting, he can't bring himself to like some aspect of Jay's personality, especially his tendency to be a little bit narcissistic. Sont decides to not take this relationship further, and the two have been apart ever since.

Two years later, Sont is now studying in his third year and working his butt off to make his TikTok account go viral. "Sleepy Eater, Hungry Sleeper" is a two-year-old channel of his with barely more than 600 followers. His main content is food ASMR that stems from his love of desserts and snacks. Whatever dessert it is he's eating in the stream, Sont will gulp it down within minutes. He even gets snacks from his sponsors sometimes.

One day, while Sont is streaming, his toothache gets so bad that he has to stop. His best friend/roomate like Guck then has to urge him to see a dentist since this isn't the first time it happens, and not likely the last. Pestered by the pain in his tooth, Sont finally has to go to a dentist, and finds out that his mouth is no better than a dental battlefield that needs teeth cleaning, filling, and even some root canal treatment that would cost him quite a fortune. Being nearly broke as he is, Sont clearly can't afford it. That's when his dentist recommends being a case study patient for dentistry students, where they treat his dental problems for free.

The next month, Sont has become a complete case for Dr. Ming, a fifth year dentistry student. This brings him face- to-face with Ming's assistant dentist, Jay, who Sont hasn't seen since their last date. The two years have changed Jay in some ways, but Sont notices that his narcissistic tendency remains intact. Sont thinks he will never see Jay again after the treatment, but as fate would have it, Jay's family happens to own the building Sont lives in, and since the convenience store downstairs is short-staffed, Jay is now filling in as a part-timer. Now every time Sont wants to buy the snacks he craves, he has a dentist-in- training stopping him from ruining his teeth further. Jay truly is the destroyer of joy to Sont now.

Even though he's making some money from his ASMR channel, it still isn't enough to make ends meet. Sont decides to get a job at Craft Cake where he meets his new boss, Captain, an old friend of Jay who has quit his job and opened his own business. Sont has come at the right time and helped the business gain some recognition. All this while, Sont keeps running into his boss' friends like Ming and Jay who somehow always show up at the place much more often than Sont would like.

What amazes Sont is that, the more he gets to spend time with Jay, the more he sees who Jay really is. Now someone he once discarded has taken a special place in his heart. Even the narcissistic tendency now seems like a cute and silly streak. Meanwhile, Jay seems to be very private with his feelings to Sont, unlike Captain, who has been more and more obvious that he's into Sont. And as Sont moves closer to Captain, a part of him wonders if Jay still has feelings for him like two years before. He doesn't want to risk what they have now by asking, and in the end just waits for someone to be the braver person and finally asks if what they are is more than just friends.

The Ex-Morning

Pathaphee or Phee is a famous news anchor of Good Day Thailand. He is a rising star in journalism. With his bright and lively personality, he is beloved by the public. But his life turns upside down when the video of his abusive behaviors towards his co-anchor is leaked to the public. His co-anchor is injured in the incident. From a rising star, he turns into a falling star.

Pathaphee is suspended from work. He has to sell his luxurious car. He tries to get a job at other news agencies but no one wants to work with him. Due to a trauma, he has a panic attack and is unable to do a live news report from the field. Luckily, he still has Young, an exclusive news editor who has adored and been close with him since he was an intern. Young gives Pathaphee a chance to work with a talented producer who holds an overseas degree on a new show. Pathaphee feels blessed for the second chance that he gets. He is relieved that at least a good thing comes out of this turmoil. But as soon as he meets the producer, he is not sure if this chance is really a blessing. The producer is Tamtawan, his ex-boyfriend. Their breakup was so terrible that Pathaphee developed an anxiety disorder after that. He still suffers from it even now. He knows that the person who is supposed to be his savior can end his career for good.

Pathaphee and Tamtawan were dating when they were in college. Tamtawan was his senior at the faculty of journalism. They were competing in everything they did. However, they had a promise that Tamtawan would support Pathaphee's dream to be a news reporter. On the day that Pathaphee had an audition for a news reporter position at a major news agency. In the audition, he needed to give a live field report and the judges would watch it. While he was reporting news, Tamtawan's breakup message was among the keywords for the news report that the creative sent him. Moreover, his news reporting was interrupted by a group of local mafia. His news reporting ended in a disaster. He was eliminated.

Pathaphee wanted to know the reason why Tamtawan broke up with him. But the truth he found out that he stole his critique of journalism and used it to apply for a scholarship at an overseas university. He was accepted to the university because of his work. He decided to dump him.

Pathaphee worked hard and achieved his dream of being a news reporter. He loathes Tamtawan more than anything in this world. But now he is so desperate that he has no other choice but to work with Tamtawan under one condition. Tamtawan needs to help him regain his followers. He must have ten million followers in the next three months. If he fails, he needs to resign from the news agency. If he refuses his offer, he will expose that he stole his work which helped him get his scholarship.

Tamtawan dislikes Pathaphee but he thinks his offer is challenging and interesting. He accepts his offer but he also has a condition. If he successfully helps him regain his followers, he needs to apologize to him and call him "Master" for three months.

Pathaphee and Tamtawan work together as a news reporter and a producer. Their past has a major influence on the dynamic of their current relationship. Though they always a way to tease each other, flirting can also be seen between them. As they are chasing the truth, they become close. Physical touches, that accidentally occur while they are working together, reignite the spark between them. Their relationship is like unpredictable weather. It's confusing but also intriguing.

Tamtawan does not come back for his work. He has a hidden mission to help the man he cares for. He comes back to find the mafia who exposed the video that destroyed Pathaphee's reputation and put his life in danger. The ex-lovers need to work together to find the real criminal behind their case and their true feelings for each other. Will the flame in their hearts change them? Will they learn about the change together?

Revamp: The Undead Story

Punn (Prem Warut), a 24-year-old antique shop owner, is enlisted by his gallery-owning friend to restore a painting vandalized under mysterious circumstances one night. During the restoration process, Punn accidentally injures himself on a shard of mirror, inadvertently staining the artwork with his blood. This act awakens Ramil (Boun Noppanut), the last descendant of a vampire lineage, trapped within the painting for over a century. However, Ramil emerges powerless and becomes the target of relentless pursuit by the "Hunters." Tasked with aiding Ramil in reclaiming his lost powers, Punn embarks on a journey to locate Ramil's former servants, now living discreetly among humans. As they collaborate, a deep bond forms between Punn and Ramil, blossoming into love and trust. Yet, their relationship is tested when Ramil's enigmatic past becomes intertwined with Punn's own mysterious background, seemingly orchestrated by an external force. Together, they confront their doubts and fears, striving to overcome adversities before reaching their ultimate destinies.

Thame - Po (เธม-โป้) HEART THAT SKIPS A BEAT

In need of a job, 'Po' finds himself accepting an offer to make a documentary about a boy band "Mars" to make ends meet. Only he doesn't know he's not making a documentary about their success, but their disbanding, due to the leader of the band 'Thame' on the verge of signing a new contract in South Korea.

Filming Mars makes Po realize that, even with all the internal conflicts, Thame never wants to leave. And the only way to save this band is for Po to smooth out any misunderstandings between the members and Thame.

This mission to make all five members of Mars stay together has now become the backdrop of the beginning of love between Thame and Po. And Po will have to realize that dating an idol is no child play at all!

Hide & Sis

Chatfah, the youngest sister of the Buppajinda family, has just received the most share of the inheritance from her father and is about to get married. Unfortunately, Chatfah falls from the highest floor of a vacation home to her three older sisters' shocked eyes before her body disappears. The three sisters namely Baibua, Chompoo, and Picha become suspects in Chatfah's disappearance.

Baibua Boontharika is the eldest sister who is composed, wise, and has always sacrificed for her family. Chompoo Chompoonuch, the second sister, is a beautiful and confident model whose boyfriend Chatfah has stolen to get married to. The third sister, Putpichaya is a jewelry designer who is the closest to Chatfah. The three girls try to find Chatfah while a lot of mysterious things happen after their youngest sister goes missing. Putpichaya gets so violently ambushed that she almost dies. Chompoonuch falls from grace due to a rumor that she has killed her sister out of anger after she has stolen her lover to marry him. Boontharika struggles with managing her company because of the gossip and accusation that the flowers there have a curse of death!

When no one else can be trusted, the three sisters must try to trust each other. They move back to live in Buppajinda Mansion like in their childhood days to find out who is behind Chatfah's disappearance, which could very well be one of them. But what's waiting for them at the mysterious mansion is not only the truth about Chatfah's disappearance but also stories that have been hidden since the past - the rift between siblings caused by dishonesty and deceit in their parents' generation leading the girls to turn enemies and hurt each other. Eventually, the three girls discover the truth of more than one real culprit in the Buppajinda Mansion. The red color of the flowers is then no longer the color of blood, death, or curse.

Leap Day

Legend has it that male infants who are born at noon and at midnight on February 29 of a leap are destined to bring misfortune upon each other.

On February 29, 2000, at 00.00 AM, a baby boy called Midnight comes into the world, losing his mother due to a hemorrhage. This similar incident occurs again at 12.00 PM on the same day when another baby boy called Day is born.

Four years later, Day unexpectedly loses his dad in an accident, while Night's dad passes away because of cancer. Since then, their lives encounter recurring losses every four years. These losses take different forms, ranging from one losing the relative, whom he has taken care of as a result of a major car crash on the highway to the other losing the person who has taken care of him after being caught in the crossfire in the frightening shooting rampage, and so on. Every loss they endure occurs on February 29!!

Those around them start to feel scared and try to push Day and Night away because they don't want to be victims of the supposed curse. Night and Day grow up in isolation without bonding with or loving anyone until Night meets Dream, the girl who steps into his life and brings light into it. Dream turns into the only happiness he has in life.

Meanwhile, Day finds himself suddenly tasked with caring for Ozone, an autistic boy, who is the son of his elder sister, a distant relative of his. She dies in a tour bus overturned accident. At first, Ozone doesn't approve of him and doesn't open up to him because he believes Day is the reason for his mom's death. However, with effort and dedication in taking care of him, Ozone finally accepts him and starts to bond. At the same time, the relationship between Night and Dream keeps growing stronger.

As their 20th birthdays approach, both Day and Night fear of losing their loved ones. Night tries to break up with Dream, but she refuses to, while Day follows Ozone everywhere. Finally, their birthdays arrive. Ozone feels uncomfortable because Day keeps following him everywhere, so he tries to run away, crossing the road while Dream and Night's car is rushing in fast. Dream still doesn't understand why Night wants to break up with her. They are busily arguing, so they fail to notice Ozone. It's too late when they see him. Ozone is hit by their car and is so severely injured that he falls to the ground. The car then crashes into an electric post. Dream immediately passes out. Their injuries are both so severe that it seems they won't survive, but that year, it turns out they are safe. Nobody dies.

Friendshit Forever

"You're like a sister to me. You're my best friend," is what Baikhao says to Tulip not long after they first met, before both of their worlds turn upside down.

Tulip and Baikhao are supposed to be the best of friends. Their friendship looks beautiful from afar, but up close, it's ridden with envy and the tight grip of past grudges that won't let them go.

Parents make mistakes just like any other human being. It is only too bad that children must inherit those sins.

Baikhao befriends Tulip with the intention to take revenge for what Tulip's father did to her. She won't stop until justice is served for her father who killed himself and her mother who went insane after losing her younger sibling in a miscarriage. And for this sole purpose, Tulip will be used as a tool to destroy her own family.

Baikhao has help in the form of high school friend Tao, who has had a crush on her all these years and will do anything for her, including killing.

While Tulip has Namo, a classmate in the same major she mistakes for being gay, but is actually in love with her. Namo sticks around to protect her from harm. He may not be a match for her in terms of social standing, but whatever concerns Tulip, Namo is willing to put his life on the line for, and he must save Tulip from Baikhao's vile plan.

But revenge never ends well, if not straight up tragic, especially between two "best friends."

The Dark Dice

Samut, a senior in high school, is an academic achiever. He is a representative of his school competing in academic contests. But his bright future vanishes after he is involved in an altercation. He is expelled from school. He is transferred to a new school. Because of the trauma, he loses his passion for school.

Samut finds an ancient dice which brings him and seven other students into a mysterious board game. The eight students are competing, outsmarting, and backstabbing each other to stay alive in this mysterious game. Their lives are at stake. The only way to get out of the game is by defeating other contestants.

Break Up Service

Boss is a man who is destined to ruin other people's relationships. He works for Break-Up Service, a company that helps people break up with their partners. Boss meets Juet, a penniless woman who comes to apply for a job at his company. She is assigned to be his work partner. Boss prefers to go solo when he works. He keeps picking on Juet in hopes that she will resign. No matter how Boss tries to provoke her, she endures them all. She proves her worth again and again by successfully completing her tasks to break up couples.

The rookie and the veteran are working together to destroy other people's romance. Before Boss realizes, he has fallen in love with his partner.

Scarlet Heart Thailand

Nabun is a hair stylist who's on her luck slump. She's just lost her job, her life is ruined and her boyfriend cheated on her. Nabun needed an escape to Chiangmai to put her heart back together. While in the hot spring, Nabun has an intrusive thought that life can't simply be altered. Suddenly, Nabun drowns in the hot spring. After struggling against death, saved by miracle or destiny, Nabun rises in the middle of a private hot spring with naked princes who are enjoying their hot spring as well. The princes jolt to find a strange woman popping up from the hot spring. Nabun runs for her life and is shocked to find herself in the body of Chao Laila, a sickly young lady of Chiang Rung, a mysterious Lanna Kingdom dating back 300 years ago.

Nabun in Princess Laila's body has to adapt to survive in the ancient regime days. She finds herself struggling both in survival and love. Nabun meets Chao Saen Thep, her sister's fiance. Chao Saen Thep is kind to Nabun which is the opposite of Chao Mueang Fah who's stern. Nabun also meets Chao Chai Kaew, Chao Kong Thai, Chao Chom Harn, and Chao Fah Kram who all find Nabun mesmerizing as she dares think and speak differently from the other girls. Nabun brings new colors to Chiang Rung.

In the regime's grand ceremony, the crown prince is the target of assassination but Chao Mueang Fah plots a switch up and gets himself hurt as a result. Chao Mueang Fah investigates the case and finds that his mother and older brother are part of the assassination plot as Chao Chai Kaew has been aiming for the crown prince post. Naboon knows that Chao Mueang Fah is the parasite of the family as his hair has turned white ever since he was young. Everyone despises Chao Mueang Fah except Chao Hong Kham, the beautiful princess who secretly has a crush on Chao Mueang Fah but never dares reveal her heart.

Nabun becomes the center of attention of all the princes. Chao Saen Thep falls for Nabun even when he has a fiance. Chao Mueang Fah knows that Chao Saen Thep will bring troubles for Nabun so Chao Mueang Fah challenges his sibling for a boxing match to announce that Princess Laila is his. Nabun argues that she has her own life, this is because she doesn't know that Chao Mueang Fah is trying to protest her from getting bullied by Chao Hong Kham. Chao Mueang Fah is hoping to pull Nabun out of Chao Saen Thep's forbidden love.

Naboon owes her life to Chao Mueang Fah, has Chao Saen Thep as the owner of her heart, Chao Kong Thai as her advisor, Chao Chom Harn as a brother who can risk his life for her, and Chao Fah Kram as her best friend. Nabun is secretly rooting for Bua Sai, a royal dancer to win over Chao Fah Kram's heart. Chao Fah Kram whose love cuts the social hierarchy has to hide his relationship as Bua Sai could die if anyone finds out. The war of love situates itself amid the war of power. In the oath-giving ceremony, the king is poisoned and Nabun is held into custody as she works in the food preparation part for the king. Chao Saen Thep investigates and finds out that this is a conspiracy between Chao Hong Kham and Maha Dhevi (the queen). Nabun is sentenced to death while Chao Mueang Fah is trying to confirm her innocence and help Nabun out in all the ways he can. Chao Saen Thep decides to keep quiet instead of fighting for the one he loves. Nabun slips out of death when someone decides to give themselves in. Chao Mueang Fah takes Nabun to a house on the mountain to escape the chaos. Nabun gets closer to Chao Mueang Fah and realizes that behind his stern exterior is love and unconditional care.

In the ceremony to beg the gods for rain, everyone is surprised to find the black-haired Chao Mueng Fah as the one who conducts the ceremony until the rain comes. No one knows that Nabun helps Chao Mueng Fah to achieve slick black hair as well as calculate the date and time rain would come. Chao Mueng Fah becomes a rival that Chao Chai Kaew deems to get rid of regardless that he's his family. Chao Saen Thep is also hiding the rivalry against Chao Mueng Fah under the cover of a good guy. Chao Mueang Fah is sent on a diplomatic mission at Wiang Merng Marng to have Chao Pha Wiang, a cousin, kill him.

Chao Chai Kaew stirs up a rebellion but Chao Mueang Fah stops him. Chao Meung Fah stabs his brother and Chao Chai Kaew falls off the cliff. Not long after Chao Yod Lah steps up as a king, Chao Chai Kaew is not dead yet and he comes back for the throne. Chao Chai Kaew takes Nabun as hostage which forces Chao Mueang Fah to give in to save his lover's life. He reluctantly accepts when his brother steps up as the next king.

Nabun has a nightmare of Chao Mueng Fah killing Chao Kong Thai. She fears that there will be a blood bath among siblings. The king, Chai Kaew fears being dethroned to the extent that he goes crazy. He orders to have Nam Nang, a daughter of an army leader and the lover of Chao Kong Thai killed. Chao Kong Thai begs Chao Mueang Fe to kill him for he wants to die with his wife. Chao Mueang Fah has to kill his younger brother in tears. Nabun is shocked to see Chao Mueng Fah's body soaked with blood just like in her nightmare and there are lots of people who have to die because of him.

Chao Chai Kaew, as the king, rules the regime with terror to the extent that he is drugged to death in front of Chao Mueang Fah. Chao Mueang Fah ascends to the throne as the king and Nabun is the only person who knows this secret. Chao Mueang Fah speeds up his marriage with Nabun which gives Chao Saen Thep an excuse to get in the way. He holds it against them that it is against the royal family's conduct as Chao Laila does not hold the direct royal bloodline. Chao Saen Thep appoints Chao Hong Kham as the queen instead.

Chao Chom Harn couldn't stand seeing Nabun being devastated so he shows the paper from the previous king which states that he is allowed to marry Chao Laila. Chao Mueang Fah refuses to let Chao Chom Harn take Nabun away from the royal palace but Chao Chom Harn uses his power as the army leader to hide Nabun far away from King Mueang Fah.

Chao Fah Kram decides the give up his posts to live a simple life with his true love, Bua Sai. Nabun gets sick from Chao Laila's existing chronic illness, she's waiting for Chao Mueang Fah with depleting breaths. Chao Mueang Fah appears in front of her and Nabun wonders "Is this the truth... or a dream?". Nabun passes away in the arms of the man she loves with all her life. The sound of Chao Mueang Fah crying echoes in her mind.

In Chiangmai, Nabun miraculously wakes up. She became a famous influencer from her content about the Chiang Rung regime in an exhibition called "Chiang Rung, a mysterious regime waiting to be discovered". Nabun's heart beats fast when her eyes meet with a royal family descendant who's the owner of the exhibition, Mueang Fah, who's wearing a suit. He pulls Nabun in for a kiss and asks her, "Do you remember? You once said that lives can't be changed that simply except for dying and being rebom." Nabun hugs Mueang Fah and she realizes that everything isn't a dream but the destiny's twist of fate, one where they are ready to hold hands and embark on it together once again and forever.

[respectthepetty]

The Heart Killers' Colors? - Ep. 4

Before I begin my investigation into the fourth episode's colors, in case it was not clear, I find Joong very attractive, and when Fadel was looking through Kant's pockets a little aggressively and very homoerotically, I was rooting for First to add another boy's lips to his roster.

BREAK UP THE SHIPS CHALLENGE 2025!

Since I'm afraid that I'm two seconds away from abandoning my efforts to uncover colors in this show so I can turn this into a Joong appreciation blog, let me focus on what I actually came here to do — appreciate Joong Fadel for always being a Black Brooder.

And thankfully Red Rascal Bison is wearing red and blue shorts, but I don't know who the blue could possibly be for since Kant and Style refuse to show their true color!

But back to Fadel being a Black Brooder who just happens to be played by the very attractive Joong.

Fadel is my rock in this show. He never wavers in his color. When all these other boys do wonky stuff like wear red, so I can't figure out their color, Fadel always stays brooding in black.

So I'm holding onto the knowledge that Fadel IS a Black Brooder while I stare in confusion at Style wear red and Kant wear black again this episode which is an inverse of their love interest! And Bison wore blue, but I've previously guessed this is him hiding his true color after attempting to go full BDSM on Kant the night before.

Yet, as usual with Kant, he has a little red on his back. He has had red writing on his shirts before, so is he really in love with Bison already? I think so.

Because as much as I'm upset at Kant for hiding his color, Bison IS a Red Rascal, so Kant having red writing on his shirt multiple times now gives me hope that he is realizing he loves this little demon more than he thought he would especially after Bison noticed what was happening with his brother (and saved the kids from sexual grooming, which is what Bison believes he does for Mother).

So I'll cut him some slack for not showing his true color yet, and I'll keep assuming it is blue since his background is blue while Kant's is red.

But it seems like Kant has a type, and that type is hell raiser.

So even though Bison gave Kant a heart, he didn't get Bison's heart since it wasn't placed over Kant's heart and it's not in Bison's color.

Because Bison would just as quickly kill Kant as he would kiss him, and both of them ending the episode clearly on their own side matching the wall they stood in front of shows that Kant has his work cut out for him.

But considering the boys are wearing couple's shirts with their initials on them next week, I think Kant has some tricks up his tattooed sleeve.

Like sending his best buddie to keep Fadel busy by having sex with him, so he can try looking for more clues, and since Fadel and Style also have incorrectly color-coded couple's shirts with their initials on them, I'm going to assume it's not going to go well.

Because Kant and Style still don't know the guys they are falling in love with if they can't even wear the right color for them. Bison is a Red Rascal and Fadel is a Black Brooder! Two halves of one heart! Get it together, besties!

And now that they think the guy they have been sent to kill had something to do with the deaths of their parents, their emotions are going to be an overdrive.

Especially Bison, who seems to have picked up Mother's color on his journey to become a killer, since he was neutral as a kid.

Yet Fadel, my rock in the color storm, has always been a Black Brooder.

And unlike Bison, who has spontaneous outbursts that could end everyone, Fadel is much more calculated.

So for Style who, according to the folks behind the show, should be a (light) Blue Boy, to be strategic in his plan to annoy Fadel just so he could make Fadel miss him was brilliant.

I want to believe that Fadel is playing Style, but I thought in episode two the reason Fadel hated Style so much was because Style messed up his very calculated plans, which is exactly what he expressed in this episode; therefore, I think this entire conversation was Fadel being honest.

Pretty boy Icarus done flown too close to the sun and got himself a killer boyfriend.

And, once again, I think Fadel's feelings for Style are real because Fadel laughs and smiles a lot around Style.

And my pretty emo boy doesn't smile for anybody!

So these two idiots better get their plan and colors together, quick!

Because Bison stays red . . . dee to commit murder

And Fadel is already too deep (in the blue) to even realize how much he actually likes his (light) Blue Boy.

So even though Style is now trying to be cautious in his yellow and back off, Fadel is coming in hot.

But I'm unsure if it's because he is passionate about Style now that all his warmth has been unlocked or if he will burn Icarus for getting too close.

Or, more importantly, when it comes to Fadel, if there is even a difference between those two things.

[fadelstylist]

The fact that Fadel stops Bison from killing Kant and that Style is the one who beats Kant shooting him from the back, following the plan, just like Fadel asked him is crazy. FadelStyle keeps giving solid relationship vibes like they always gave. Fadel wasn't a fool for trusting Style and Style won't let him down, and also wants to fight beside him because he is that committed to their relationship. The jokes he makes about him proposing one day and even giving him a ring, or making promises about birthday gifts. *Sigh* I love a power couple when I see one. They know exactly what they want and they got it. Style makes plans about future because he started to think about a future together a long ago and he won't let it go, he wants to be with Fadel in all the aspects of his life. Style has been sincere from the beginning, he goes with the flow and puts his heart in every thing he does. For sure, Fadel knows that, he must be feeling that, even if he tries to erase all the good feelings. Fadel knows Style is telling the truth.

Fadel getting mad at Bison was so right! Bison doesn't have any say in how he should live his life, and it's so satisfying to see Bison and Kant facing consequences for being reckless and manipulative and for making their own problems everyone else's problems. I'm not satisfied yet and I know everything will be solved by next episode but at least I felt heard in this show for ONCE.

[heretherebedork]

Fadel handcuffs Style in a motel bedroom while Bison leaves Kant untied in his childhood bedroom.

Style weeps with his back to Fadel that he will leave his father behind and see his mother again while Kant presses forward and steps into the gun because Bison is staring at him like that and they are face to face.

Fadel lies next to a crying Style with his own grief while Bison holds a gun to Kant and tells him he owes him his life.

Kant just wants to call his brother but Style only asks for his father to be comforted after his death.

The two hitmen are struggling with their own pain and their own grief and they are struggling even more with the love they don't want to feel for these men that are next to them while Kant and Style struggle witht he love and betrayal they know they've done and the fears they're struggling to face alongside the aching men they love and they know love them back.

(Both Kant and Style are worried for their loves, worried for their injuries and their hearts and for what they've done but they're also scared for their lives and their own hearts in return.)

[bubbipond]

I knew media literacy was down while watching We Are and people were hating on Fang for not being as lovey dovey as Tan. Incapable of seeing that Fang had his own form of "lovey dovey" in his actions versus Tan and his words. So people watching dramas like The Heart Killers and straight up missing very obvious points doesn't shock me. I'm not making fun of people by any means, I just think too much of the QL media world lacks some form of literacy while watching these shows.

People are bad mouthing Kant like he's some sort of supervillain or antagonist. You don't even need knowledge of Taming of the Shrew to understand the dynamics between the four mc's (though if you want some, there are people on here diving into that). My point is, Kant, Style, Bison, and Fadel are not meant to be squeaky clean characters. I mean two of them are manipulating the other two, sleeping with them, and lying to them. While the other two are literal murderers. You aren't supposed to think these guys are totally upstanding. But the emphasis on Kant hate is bizarre.

Especially since Kant has always had most to lose in this. Style only really has to worry about his own safety but he already knows Fadel won't kill him.

Bison/Fadel could easily kill both boys or get "mom" to fix their issues. So they both have ways out regardless of both being in love. But Kant has always had no way out. So much of this story is a conversation about what people will do when they are desperate with backs against the wall. Outside of Style, the other 3 had lives they had no control over.

There's so many layers and social issues at play in this that I cannot fathom people focusing on hating Kant. But that's just me.

+Don't even say that I am a firstkhao Stan which is why I'm saying this because this is actually only the second time l've watched them. The only other time was OF and I didn't even watch that for them. So this has nothing to do with bias.

[moonchild--mischief--managed]

So, I read somewhere about a scene with Fadel and Style.

POSSIBLE NOVEL SPOILER

Fadel and Style get to a point where Fadel tells Style to walk away or something like that. If Style turned around, Fadel threatened to shoot. Now Style is scared and all but if he has to die he wants to see Fadel one more time because crazy or not he's in love with that man. Style turns and sees that the gun is not pointed at him but instead Fadel has it pointed at his own head. Fadel can't kill Style, he loves him too much. He'd rather kill himself.

And I think to a certain extent, Style being unhinged horny and in love about all things Fadel aside, Style kind of knows Fadel won't actually hurt him. It's why he's being so playful and flirty in ep7 because I know for a fact if any of them were in Kant's position facing Bison, they'd be scared out of their minds. Bison is actually insane, he just looks adorable meanwhile Fadel looks scary (and sexy AF 😏) but is actually soft hearted with a sense of duty and responsibility.

Now Fadel, I don't know what happened with his ex, but he's very very terribly plague level down bad for Style. Its mutual and that's why their relationship will handle this craziness better than Kant and Bison's relationship will. And I know we have a few more scenes that prove how ride or die FadelStyle are for one another.

[ropebunnykant]

at first i didn’t think the “fadel is faking it to get info on style” thing was a genuine theory people were believing but i saw so many people thinking it in the comments of an edit of the scene in the woods on tiktok and just. i fear it comes from a genuine misunderstanding of fadel as a character.

like in general fadel is just. not a liar. like i feel like one thing we’ve learned about fadel is that despite coming off cold and kind of mean and you know being a literal assassin, he has very strong morals, and it seems like one of those morals includes honesty. or in the very least - not lying. cause obviously he has to a certain extent for his work as an assassin, but in general most things about that job go against fadel as he is - he just justifies it all by telling himself what their mother told him, that these are bad people who deserve it. and he has so many opportunities to lie to style and say no i don’t like you, or no, i don’t find you attractive, or x y z, but his method of dealing with style is always avoidance, rather than directly lying to him. so for him to fake a very real, very vulnerable confession, it just doesn’t make any sense.

especially because the other thing we know for sure about fadel is that he does Not do vulnerable. he has an extremely rough and hard exterior for a reason - even BISON says he thinks fadel is rough on the inside as well. if even bison, who is fadel’s brother and the person he cares about the most, believes fadel isn’t capable of love and vulnerability, i don’t believe for a second fadel would want to or even be willing to fake that kind of thing. his vulnerability in that scene came from a genuine place and breaking point - you can hear it in his voice. which like, shoutout to joong because his acting in that scene was fucking incredible and i feel like it’s a discredit to him as an actor to claim any of that felt fake but i digress. and sure, maybe fadel is just a good actor, and sure he likely has the best poker face, but with how allergic he is to acknowledging his feelings, i don’t believe he’d be able to fake it.

plus, we also know for a fact he wasn’t lying because we saw during the episode the ways he was missing style - he didn’t even ask anyone anything at his morning jog, so we know for sure he wasnt just looking for style for show.

and while i understand wanting to justify the fact that it seems like he broke quickly, i just think if you feel the need to question that, you haven’t actually been paying much attention to fadel at all. or you just have a fundamental misunderstanding of how repression works. because fadel has been repressing himself for very likely years, has been holding in an insane amount of pain and grief for so long - like, it’s clear that even bison is unaware of the fact that fadel once had someone he loved and lost. which means the only people he’s talked to about it are the strangers at the loss support group - IF that because i would not put it past fadel to never say a word at those meetings, i mean in both instances that we see him in the group setting, he doesn’t say anything even before style shows up.

fadel has had his heart walled up and been dealing with his grief and loss all on his own. and he has spent WEEKS pushing style away and trying to keep him at arms length. so of course, of course when someone comes in and not only says they want him, his heart, and comes in with sledge hammers to tear down those walls, they’re gonna crumble.

and you know maybe i’ll eat my words, but i just can’t fathom the idea that any of that confession was fake to fadel, and i think if you do you’re just misunderstanding him.

[thequeenofsastiel]

Well that episode was QUITE the emotional roller-coaster and broke my heart into tiny tiny pieces. This is the first ep in which I started to genuinely think that Kant had feelings for Bison. The LOOK on his face when he saw Bison felt like an entirely real emotion. I loved it, even though it hurt me.

Jfc, the fact that it took finding out that Style was betraying him for Fadel to fully admit his true feelings about Style was fucking heartbreaking. Because Fadel was just faced with the idea that Style's affection for him at no point was real. That Style had been faking it the whole time. And the worst part is that Style was ABSOLUTELY faking it at first. Sure, he found Fadel attractive, but he didn't actually like him. He harassed him and tried to win his heart for a goddamn car. He never would have tried to date Fadel on his own. Sure, I think he definitely did eventually fall for Fadel, but it was indeed an act at first. Fadel doesn't know the real reason why, but he does know that it was at some point an act, he just doesn't actually know for how long. And neither he nor Bison have any reason to believe that Style or Kant had genuine feelings for them. But they did. It was simply that those feelings weren't strong enough to risk getting in trouble with the law themselves, which is ENTIRELY understandable.

I'm very interested to see where they go from here and how Style and Kant prove that their feelings actually were real at the end. I imagine it'll take them sacrificing themselves in some way for Fadel and Bison. I'm not sure. They were just so good at pretending that they weren't betraying Fadel and Bison. I can't imagine what Style could do that would ever make Fadel trust him entirely, nor Kant. Anyone have any ideas?

10/10

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP7: The Boat Scene 'Do you want to jump or do you want to fall?'

So yep, joke's on me. I was so wrong about how this scene may unfold and the episode in general. Credit to Jojo for keeping me on my toes. I wanted to dedicate a post to this, both for the fantastic performances but also the great character beats here.

BISON'S RESOLVE FOR REVENGE

I kept wondering just how resolute Bison would be. I thought that if he saw how upset Kant was about him getting hurt, he may waver. But it actually seemed to have the opposite effect.

Bison is understandably livid at Kant. I think a portion of that rage is intensified because it's with himself. The betrayal cuts deeper due to his own negligence. He should have known better, and Fadel warned him as such. As the confrontation unfolds, Bison's steely resolve veers towards agitation and restlessness. A twitch. An itch beneath the skin. An almost defiant urgency to squash any margin for hesitancy or doubt - that the sooner this is over with, the less risk there is for him to have second thoughts. Khao does a wonderful job of trickling out only the tiniest of hairline cracks in that resolve, to keep us guessing.

Forcing Kant to jump could also be a test for remorse. 'If I tell you to jump, will you do it or will you fight back or even beg for mercy?' If Bison wanted Kant dead, he could have done it already. We see him consider all the brutal ways he could do so. And yet the one he chooses is actually the least hands on. Watching Kant enact his own demise seems to be a testament to something Bison wants an answer to: a confession perhaps. 'Are you sorry for what you did? Do you regret it? Do you feel bad for me? Was it worth it?' and most importantly 'Do you love me? Did you ever love me?' When someone hurts us, we often want them to admit to their wrongdoing. To take responsibility for the damage they've caused as it gives validation to our pain.

Kant is debilitated by fear, but he's also resigned to his guilt. It's been chasing him this entire time. So he doesn't deny or rebuff what Bison's saying. Doesn't try to deflect or swerve like he's done before now. Neither does he put up a fight for his life. He displays a bedded in helplessness, an acceptance that something you saw coming has finally caught up to you.

When Kant does jump, it seems to take Bison a second to register what's happened. The fact that Kant doesn't come back up. The realisation that Kant may actually drown and die. And he panics.

KANT LAID BARE

(This is my cue to gush about First's acting). I loved his choice of line delivery in this scene. How quietly he speaks. How small, tired, broken and subdued this makes Kant appear. It's such an unexpected but phenomenal choice. It provides a complete 180 to Kant's usual brand of flirty showmanship. That's isn't to say that version of Kant is entirely false but he's definitely been playing up the 'perfect boyfriend' bit. To be as smooth and charming as possible, and to say all the right things to win Bison's heart. This is the first time Bison is seeing Kant stripped of all that bravado. And what's left underneath? Just a man whose desperately afraid.

The sheer terror that First portrays here is so layered and visceral. He doesn't just capture that primal fear of death, but there's so much more you can read into outside of the little he does say. Underlying all that physical and mental torment is trauma, a childlike desperation that renders him completely at a loss.

He didn't have a choice when Chris threatened him to become a pawn. He didn't have a choice when it came to choosing between his brother or Bison. He didn't have a choice to walk away. And now he doesn't have a choice in how Bison wants his revenge. I've talked about the loss of control and agency with these two characters quite a bit, but this is the epitome of having your autonomy entirely stripped from you. Kant is both paralysed by his fear of drowning, but also by his guilt and knowing that he brought this on himself - having sealed his fate when he agreed to the job in the first place.

"I promise when you wake up, the version of me you'll see is the real me." What happens when you strip a person of all their defences? You get down to their rawest form. And now we're seeing it.

Thank god the pair reconcile next week, because this was absolutely agonising to sit through. Firstkhao have done it again, but did we really expect any less?

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating in real time as the show airs.

[mon--carat]

A Morally Grey Tangent

This essay has been bubbling up in me since We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd aired, but it's finally come to the top.

I decided to write this after seeing numerous people say that The Heart Killers is bad or damaging due to the nature of the character's behaviour despite it making sense plot-wise.

These characters do not need to be good people. They aren't real and therefore, aren't to be held to real-life standards.

If you go into a series like The Heart Killers, Kinnporsche or even We Best Love knowing what it is about, why are you shocked and scandalised when they act morally grey? Or commit dubious and violent acts? I'm sorry but the trailer made that very clear.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand not wanting to watch triggering content; I have my own triggers that I must be extremely careful to avoid but saying a series is "bad" for including such scenes is unrealistic.

A specific example I want to discuss is Style and Fadel's locker scene in episode two of The Heart Killers as it received lots of backlash.

Did Style sexually assault Fadel? Yes. Was it dub-con? Yes. But does it make sense plot and character-wise? Yes. Assuming these characters are going to behave per moral norms and societal expectations is a bit misguided. Fadel and Bison are serial killers, Kant is a liar and a thief while Style ignores boundaries and acts carelessly.

P'Jojo isn't claiming that murder is okay, in the same way he isn't claiming that sexual assault or drugging people is okay. Furthermore, P'Jojo has made it clear that his work will include heavier topics (see Only Friends) as it's important to produce queer content of all types.

In short, if you can't handle The Heart Killers, go and watch something PG-13 and leave the rest of us alone.

[secriden]

God, Fadel is just so helplessly in love and so painfully resigned to his harrowing existence that it just fully broke my heart.

Because Fadel thinks that everything Style has told him -- every single facet of Style's frustratingly fascinating character, everything he thought he knew about Style -- has been a lie from the very beginning. In his confession, Bison never clarifies when he told Kant to find someone to pursue him, so Fadel is operating under the assumption that Style is, and has always been, a stranger to him.

Which is why we see Fadel constantly trying to 'figure' Style out in the episode. We see it right in the first scene when Style jokingly snarks, "I'm just curious to know what to expect. It's not like I can just turn the switch on, you know?" Now this should not have thrown Fadel at all, because the joke and suggestive tone and sassy little head flick is very much in line with Style's personality and way of communicating.

But Fadel literally just stops and stares at Style for so long that Style even starts looking a bit confused as he blinks back at Fadel. Fadel has convinced himself that Style is some master manipulator, and he's trying desperately to figure out what Style's plan is (escape? another betrayal?) that he misses the obvious answer which is that Style is just casually making a joke/conversation because this is just how Style talks.

Look at the way he turns so sharply with this startled, confused look (that starts to turn slightly wistful at the end) when Style calls him faen. This wasn't in the cards for Fadel and it's so frustrating and confusing (and painful) to hear Style throw the lie around so casually when it was something that mattered to him. Fadel thinks this is Style playing an angle but he can't see what it is or what Style stands to gain from it, and it leaves him utterly unmoored.

And in all this searching for hidden meanings and new deception, Fadel misses that Style is acting very much in good faith: the story Style comes up with about why they're looking for a missing person on their own like this (instead of, y'know, going to the police like upright, non-hitman citizens would've) was really good to explain their urgency/frustration and preempt any suspicion so that the auntie is unlikely to report them to the cops. Style is actively, genuinely helping Fadel out and using his excellent skills at playing Asian aunties to full effect for him.

Ugh, just look at how earnest and worried Style's expression is!? He totally disarms the auntie while I bet she would've been a lot more suspicious and distrustful if grumpy face on the left had come asking questions alone.

And Fadel literally keeps missing when Style is being honest. Or rather, he is wilfully refusing to believe or trust in that earnestness. Style hasn't made any attempts to run away or even hint to the auntie that he needs help, but Fadel won't trust him (because he's still, even now, waiting for the other shoe to drop; for yet another betrayal).

And Style keeps doing and saying things that don't make sense for the role Fadel's assigned him because why would a police informant who is just trying to get evidence of your crimes say or do any of this?? What does he stand to gain by keeping up the pretence? Does he know that every word that dangles his love like an impossible temptation is more knives in Fadel’s chest? But Style is all earnestness and something in Fadel can still recognise that and that’s why Fadel is constantly swinging from anger and resignation to agony and hope. Just the look of sincere, wordless, helpless bafflement on Fadel's face!? The way it screams 'Why are you doing this to me??!??'

I think this is why we get silly-goofy-funny music for the first half of Style's harrowing confession. Because this scene is shot from Fadel's perspective and he thinks, at first, that this is yet other play or ridiculous attempt to get a rise out of him. And it's not until Style starts talking about his mother that the comedy music finally stops and turns sad. Because this -- this is something that Fadel knows is real (at least he should know that Style's mom really did die when Style was a kid; that would've turned up in the background check), and it suddenly becomes clear to Fadel that this time Style is serious.

And oh, this shakes Fadel like nothing else has since Style said the words "I really do love you". Because Style gives this to him without any hesitation, with full vulnerability. Style is so openly, almost brutally honest in this moment. He's terrified and sad and hurting and it's horrifying because this sincerity forces Fadel to face the bitter truth that the journey his rage and his anger has set them on leads to only one conclusion.

Fadel simply cannot handle that right now. He's not ready to face the reality that his only real option, the only logical choice is that Fadel must kill Style. Because Style has now seen the full extent of his darkness; Style knows and has been hurt and shaken and terrified because Fadel has repeatedly threatened his life. Style's very existence is now a threat to not only Fadel and Bison's continued freedom but also his mother and Keen and anyone else that Fadel has ever been trained to put first.

Style lies next to him in bed, sobs wracking his body, and Fadel cannot let himself reach out because to do so is to acknowledge the truth of Style's words again. To do so is to open the door to trust, to admitting that he still cares about Style, that Style's tears still have the power to hurt him.

That Fadel is still so painfully, hopelessly, terribly in love with Style.

Because Fadel still remembers the last time he reached out and held Style in his arms whilst knowing that he was betrayed and that their love was a lie. Fadel remembers that even then, all he could do was cling even more tightly to Style and hope that the music and their shifting footsteps would be enough to hide his silent tears.

And just as his heart froze his finger on the trigger, so too does his fear hold him captive here. Because Fadel knows, he knows, he knows down to the marrow of his bones that if he allows himself to touch, then this time— this time, he won't be able to let Style go.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 9

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep10)

Yeah, I don't really have any introductory words to say on this one except... ENJOY <3

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: On their road trip through the country, Fadel and Style ran into an interesting pair and got involved in their (pre-)marital dispute. Style finally figures out what exactly Fadel is mad about and makes him a promise.

No. 1: A Stylish Death

Once more, Style and Fadel are on the road. Fadel finally took Style's advice from the end of episode 7 to heart and is currently taking a nap on the backseat of the car instead of threatening Style non-stop. Style turns his head to check on him, then shakes his head and looks back to the road, his expression amused. It's my personal headcanon that he finds it just as funny and ridiculous (affectionate) how bad of a kidnapper Fadel is as we the fandom do. What kidnapper just sleeps peacefully while letting their victim drive them around in a car without supervision? Speaking of headcanons, you know how there's been talk about where exactly Style got the sunglasses from all of a sudden? My mom suggested that they could be Bison's and that they just happened to lie around in the car, but it's my headcanon that Style actually nicked them from Jimmy and Popcorn's house. He probably found the glasses somewhere around the house and charmed the two of them into giving them to him before he and Fadel left.

Anyway, the radio cuts out and Style ends up finding a photo of some mysterious guy in the glove compartment in search of CDs. To be honest, I don't think Style is all that jealous in this moment (I think he'd know if there was a love rival he needed to worry about, I think he can read Fadel well enough by now), but I do think he's very confused and intrigued. Because Fadel did tell him four episodes ago that he didn't have any past lovers. And only the night before (I assume) they had a chat in which Style mentions that he doesn't know Fadel's past. And I think Style wants to know. About Fadel's past and now about the guy in the photo specifically, because that guy is likely connected to Fadel's past, too. Which Style wants to know about.

But right in that moment, Fadel wakes up. Style quickly throws the photo back into the compartment, slams it shut and immediately ropes Fadel into a conversation so that Fadel doesn't even have the time to ask what Style was doing in case he saw anything. Fadel starts telling Style about Bison's parents' island and house and Style hopes his best friend is still alive. The only thing Fadel has to say about that is: "I can’t guarantee that. You’ll have to find out for yourself." That's not a very reassuring answer. "Can’t you at least lie to make me feel better?" Style asks. Language fun fact, Style's reply actually goes more like:

Can't you give me some hope, please? มึงให้ความหวังกูหน่อยก็ได้ป่ะ [mueng - hâi - kwaam wăng - guu - nòi - gôh dâai - bpà] you - give - hope - me - a little (please) - [particle] - ?

Then Style asks for a quick stop at a clothes store because "I’ve been wearing [your clothes] this whole time, and it’s getting disgusting" and I just love that @panncakes was spot on when they said:

im just saying style is obviously not wearing his own shirt in episode 8 and since fadel had time to prepare for this search mission he obviously brought essentials including spare sets of clothing and baggy black does scream fadel; so im just going to assume fadel has style Who He's Definitely Killing Soon running around in his own clothing because you can't have a dead man running around in day old dirty clothes obviously and not because sharing clothes is becoming their Thing

In a bit we will see that Style actually is wearing a shirt that we've seen Fadel wear before on the show.

They start bickering, because Fadel isn't in the mood to go shopping for clothes, but Style fights for his will by joking about Fadel killing him and going on a very Style-like monologue about wanting to be a good-looking corpse. When he's done monologuing, he turns his head and throws Fadel a side glance to check if it worked.

It did.

No. 2: You Better Run, Better Run, Faster Than His Bullet

It worked. Despite Fadel's reluctance they are now standing in a clothes store on Style's request and that makes 3/3 series that JoongDunk have gone to a clothes store in. I'm starting to wonder if looking at clothes together on camera is in their contracts. Maybe the real sunflowers were the clothes stores we made along the way. (Yes, I am still waiting for a JD sun flower Easter egg. Since sun flowers were such a big thing in both their previous works and their mascot is a sunflower too.) Anyway, so Fadel caved and let Style go shopping for clothes after all, because when does Fadel not give in to Style and Style is hyped. They bicker some more and Style finally calls Fadel out for being a bad kidnapper while at the same time using the opportunity to pointedly call himself Fadel's boyfriend and just as pointedly call Fadel his own boyfriend again as well. Just listen to how much he stresses the word "faen". Actually, let me just share a more literal translation again, because he doesn't just throw around the word "boyfriend" two but three whole times in Thai:

Right now I feel more like a boyfriend. ตอนเนี่ยรู้สึกเหมือน​แฟนมากกว่า [dton nîia - rúu-sèuk - mĕuuan - faen - mâak gwàa] (right) now - feel - like - boyfriend - more Official subs: I feel like a boyfriend. It's/You're like a boyfriend who accompanies his boyfriend while shopping. เหมือนแฟนมาเฝ้าแฟนช้อปปิ้งอ่ะ [mĕuuan - faen - maa - fâo - faen - chóp-bpîng - àh] like - boyfriend - come - watch over, care - boyfriend - shopping - [particle] Official subs: This feels like going shopping with my boyfriend.

(The italicized boyfriends indicate which boyfriends Style pointedly stresses.)

Last episode, Fadel claimed twice that he and Style weren't boyfriends/a couple after Style referred to them as such. Now Style is calling them boyfriends again, but the only thing that Fadel debunks this time around is the claim that Style is his hostage. Fadel doesn't say a single word about them not being boyfriends. He ends his defense by claiming that Style doesn't hold enough value to be exchanged for anything and Style throws him a little nod like Sure Jan whatever you say. 

Fadel continues to say "I'm just letting you find a little joy before I kill you" and that's interesting because:

I'm only letting you be a little happy before you die. กูแค่ให้มึงมีความสุขเล็กๆ น้อย​ๆ​ ก่อนตายเท่านั้นแหละ [guu - kâe - hâi - mueng - mii kwaam-sùk - lék lék nói nói - gòhn - dtaai - tâo nán - làe] I - just - let, give - you - be happy - little, small - before - die - only - [particle]

Let's compare with every other explicit death threat that Fadel has made to Style since he's kidnapped him:

Doesn't matter where [I'm taking you]. You'll be dead anyway. But before I kill you, I have to see my brother.

Once I find him, I'm going to kill you both.

One wrong move, I'm blowing your brain out.

If my car was stolen, not only would I kill you, I'd take a car from your garage.

Just because I let you do this doesn't mean I won't kill you, you know?

Do you see what's different all of a sudden? Yeah, that's right. Fadel threatened Style's life, but he did not say that he would be the one ending it. For once, Fadel did not say that he, Fadel, would be killing Style. The only other time he made a reference about Style being dead rather than him killing Style was the very first time he voiced an explicit death threat and that one was still followed by an "I kill you" in the very next sentence. Now, though? There is no "I (will) kill you" anywhere to be found. It's the same thing a few lines down: "You're going to die soon, what else do you want?" (Btw, I did check the Thai lines in the list above and in Thai he also says that he'll kill Style each time.)

I don't know if Style picks up on that subtle change in phrasing, but he certainly isn't as annoyed by and tired of the death threats anymore as he used to be. Instead, he now deals with them by making light of them, like earlier in the car when he insisted he wanted to be a good-looking corpse and now by asking Fadel to drop his dead body in a beautiful place so that at least his ghost could haunt nice places in nature. And what I love about this is that even though this is clearly meant more like a light-hearted joke, Style still sounds almost kind of genuine in his words. Because Fadel is "serious" about his death threats and so Style will also be serious about his dying wishes. And even though he doesn't believe that Fadel will actually kill him, Style still would rather haunt a beautiful place when he dies (even if it isn't at Fadel's hands). That part is genuine. However, Fadel ain't got no time for this particular wish. And so he threatens Style's life one more time by playing along with Style: "If you don't choose something right now, the only place you're haunting is this damn secondhand store."

Style stares at Fadel for a moment. Message received. It's time for Style to back down from being annoying or else Fadel will really lose his patience. And so Style turns his attention to the clothes rack, but not without showing Fadel how completely and utterly unimpressed he is by Fadel threatening death for the millionth time in the past 3-ish days. Style soon gets distracted from his performance when he notices a nice pair of shorts, which he grabs and then pointedly holds out to Fadel like There. I'm choosing something. Happy now? 

Style seriously starts looking for something to wear after that and he's so focused on the clothes that he misses the way Fadel watches him with the most adoring look in his eyes. Style finds a top he likes and walks off to try it on. When he comes back to ask for Fadel's opinion on his outfit, Fadel points out that Style never really wears stripes:

But I don't really see you wearing striped clothes. แต่กูไม่ค่อยเห็นมึงใส่เสื้อลายทางนะ [dtàe - guu - mâi kôi - hĕn - mueng - sài - sêuua laai taang - ná] but - I - not really - see - you - wear - striped clothes - [particle] Official subs: I never saw you in stripes before.

Just wanted to make a little clarification, because in the subs Fadel actually says "I never saw you in stripes before" when Fadel actually has, in fact, seen Style in stripes. But "not really" and "never" isn't quite the same. In Thai Fadel implies that Style rarely wears stripes, not that he never wears stripes, and I think Style wearing stripes in front of Fadel three times in eight episodes is rare enough to be considered "not really".

Fadel taking note of this fact has Style quite satisfied, because Fadel is clearly paying attention to him. Then Style firmly tells Fadel "You can't kill me. You love me." and this stand-off really reminds me of the one in the storage room in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel "You won't [punch me]. You like me." Except this time Style is even more confident in his words. In fact, he knows he's right, because Fadel has had many perfect opportunities to kill him in the last couple of days, was actually close to killing him a few times and yet Style is still alive and kicking and actively being an annoying little menace in Fadel's life. And he also knows for a fact that Fadel is in love with him. He tested him in the bathtub and got a satisfactory result. Instead of being punched in the gut like last time, Style suddenly finds himself whirled around and on the ground, everything accompanied by the sound of gunshots. 

From one second to the next, Style finds himself worrying about his his life again after he's finally managed to deal with his fear of death triggered by the pool incident. Somehow, Fadel and Style still have the time to bicker while Fadel fires off a few more gunshots and then they run to a different hiding spot. I do love how Style's first instinct the moment Fadel has dropped down on the ground next to him is to reach out to Fadel. And I love how Style doesn't even seem to be thinking about it, he just touches Fadel automatically, his hand seeks out Fadel almost out of reflex.

Fadel realizes he's out of bullets and blames Style who defends himself and then asks how they're gonna fight this guy. And once again we get to see how much of a helper Style is and how much of a need to fix things he has, because he immediately offers himself up as bait to distract the attacker. Fadel hates the idea, but Style insists. He's too helpful for his own good. Style gets in position to run, but turns back to Fadel for a moment when Fadel calls out Style's name a few times. Fadel tilts his head in disapproval like Are you fucking serious right now?! Style nods and blinks at him in a silent answer: Yeah. It'll be fine, don't worry. I got this. Then Style bravely runs off. His need to help overrides his fear of death. 

Turns out Style cannot, in fact, outrun bullets. A bullet grazes him and he goes down. And at this point, let me just leave @secriden's observation here, because it totally hadn't occurred to me and it hurts me, so obviously I need to make it everyone else's problem, too:

[I]it is just deliciously dramatic that Style gets injured precisely dressed in the clothes he'd picked out so he could "at least die in something that's actually my style" and in the place Fadel said Style would haunt only minutes prior.

Fadel finds Style a minute or two later, once he's dealt with the attacker and they're both safe. Style says "It’s just a graze" and "This is nothing" and I'm not sure if he's saying this more to reassure Fadel or to reassure himself. His mouth says one thing, but his face sure says another.

Whatever brave face Style was putting on a moment ago disappears once Fadel starts wrapping his own shirt around Style's injury. Style goes down, clearly in pain. And I'm left wondering... Is that it? Is this why we've been counting Style around guns? Was it foreshadowing to Style getting shot? Only time will tell.

No. 3: Treating the Wounded

Somehow Fadel gets Style onto Bison's island. I wonder how far away they were at the point of Style being shot and how long it took for them to arrive on the island. Style is weak and pale and yet the first and also only thing out of his mouth is "Kant… You're alive. I'm happy to see that". Kant's death is a worry that Style has carried around ever since that morning at the hospital right before Fadel ambushed him and now that I think about it, this worry must have also played a part in Style's fear of and about death last episode. But Kant is alive. His best friend is alive. And that's all that matters through the pain right now.

Kant wants to help but Fadel immediately yells at him to let go of Style the moment Kant grabs Style's arm. I'm sure Style would have been cool with Kant also helping him, but Style currently doesn't have the energy to talk back to Fadel. Fadel continues to lead him towards the house and at one point as they're walking we see Style shut his eyes for a moment in a way that has me wonder if for a second his vision went blurry and/or if he's feeling dizzy from the pain and the shock of the injury:

Once at the house, Bison stitches Style back up while Fadel helps and acts as Style's moral support. I'm not sure how many details of what is happening here will be retained in Style's memory as his brain is certainly too busy with keeping him alive through the pain.

No. 4: Bestie Talk

Style wakes up in a bed and Kant finds him only a minute later with painkillers. Style first voices his relief that he himself didn't die from the shock of the surgery, followed by his relief that Kant isn't a corpse either. Kant's potential death really is something that was weighing him down. But Kant's alive! And he even told Bison about everything! Style can't believe his ears. How in the world is Kant still alive, then? Kant says "He loves me" and Style goes "Ohhhhhhhhh" while I go "The power of love, huh?" and then Style goes "The power of love, alright" and I die of laughter at how predictable Style's words were. Style, believer in the power of love, is very happy that his prediction was right, is very happy for his friend and his happiness. Kant continues "I love him, too. I'll do anything to keep him alive" and Style asks "And how are you going to do that? This mess is getting out of hand. It's not just the cops who are after them, but someone else clearly wants them dead" and it's interesting, because so far in their 1:1 scenes it was always Style being the optimistic one, the hopeful one, the dreamer while Kant kept things realistic and had a more pessimistic outlook on life. This time, though, it's the other way around. This time Style hits Kant with the realism. And it makes sense, because it was also Style who got hit by a real bullet. Style has felt and is actually currently feeling the very real consequences of "I'll do anything to keep him alive". One moment you think you can outrun a bullet, the next you almost die on a make-shift surgery table.

Kant says he doesn't exactly know how he's going to go about it, but that his heart is already in it. Style looks away, clearly thinking about something, then raises his eyebrows and nods.

"My heart is already in this." Style knows. Oh, how well Style knows that feeling. The feeling of wanting to do something, anything in the world for the well-being and safety of your hitman boyfriend. He's been feeling like this for a long time now. If we're being honest, Style has felt like this since all the way back in episode 5 where he told Kant "How would I even get through this? I compromised my whole body, and if we're being honest, I've already compromised half of my heart, too. I'm worried about him now" in that locker room. But back then things were going great for Style. Fadel had finally given him a chance and was happily dating Style while Style was falling in love with him more and more despite knowing his true identity. Back then, things were great. Now, though? Not so much. One moment Fadel threatens him with death, the next moment Fadel saves him from death. Style is happy that everything worked out well for his beloved bestie and his hitman boyfriend, but he himself is quite confused at the mixed signals he's getting from his own hitman: "Meanwhile, my chances are 50-50. He's hot and then cold. He loves me and then he doesn't. I honestly can't keep up with him." And I don't think the 50-50 refers to there being a 50-50 chance on whether Fadel will kill him or not. I think by now everyone and their mother knows that Fadel absolutely cannot bring himself to take Style's life no matter how hard he tries (and how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise) and Style is very much aware of it. He even called Fadel out on it at the store. No, I think the 50-50 is out on whether Fadel will forgive him and whether Fadel is willing to give Style another chance. Style knows Fadel loves him, but is the love he has also enough to let Style in again? Is it enough to put his walls down for Style again? And besides, apart from saving Style's life a few times, ever since Fadel found out the truth Fadel hasn't exactly been treating Style in a way that makes Style feel loved and appreciated while Style has done nothing but show his love and appreciation for Fadel. Fadel hasn't exactly shown that he really cares about Style. Style made it very clear that despite Fadel nearly taking his life at the pool, he still loved Fadel and was even willing to sleep with him anyway and Fadel just handcuffed him to the bed in return and told Style he didn't trust him. Style cried from trauma and the only consolation Fadel gave him was "don't be dramatic" and "I don't wanna listen". Style voiced genuine concerns about being murdered and Fadel came back with approval of Style's murder. Style called them boyfriends and Fadel returns with yet another death threat. Those aren't exactly bright prospects for Style and no matter how much Style stays in good spirits, deep down it's gotta hurt, too. Fadel may love Style enough not to kill him, but does he even care about him at all as well?

But Kant has an outside perspective and sees things that Style doesn't see. And from that perspective it looks like Fadel absolutely does care: "But from what I saw, he had your hands clasped in his so tightly. And the way he looked at you was exactly how I looked at Bison at the hospital." Style looks away again, even more lost in thought this time around as he contemplates Kant's words and thinks about Fadel holding his hand through the surgery as well as his relationship with him. Kant's words should come as good news, but Style still looks rather downhearted.

It may seem a little odd that our usual confident, optimistic, hopeful boy is suddenly discouraged. However, I think it makes sense. Style knows that Fadel loves him, but he hasn't exactly been treating Style in a way that makes Style actually feel that love (not killing Style and saving his life is kind of the bare minimum at this point, let's be real). Not to mention, there are also many things that we, the viewers, see from an outside perspective, but Style himself doesn't see them, like when Fadel nearly reached out to Style when Style was crying, or the look of adoration Fadel was watching Style with at the clothes store, or the concern Fadel showed while Bison was stitching Style up. But for the last incident, there was someone there to witness the outside perspective and finally Style learns how Fadel looks when Style's not looking. And that makes Style think. Fadel does seem to care. And Kant's words also serve to reconfirm that Style is right about Fadel loving him, but is that love enough to make Fadel want to be with Style again? After all, Style still has to work for Fadel's forgiveness. And I think that's why Style ultimately isn't all that convinced by Kant's words, because what good does the knowledge that Fadel loves him do, when there's a chance Fadel still won't take him back? What good does the knowledge that Fadel does care do, when it only happens in moments where Style is missing out on it? When it only happens in moments where that care doesn't properly reach Style?

Kant can tell that his friend is still unhappy, so he changes the topic to something more cheerful: "Thanks, though, for risking your life looking for me." This has Style genuinely laughing again as he says "I don’t need your gratitude." Another interpretation of this line is actually:

No need to get so touching, dude. ไม่ต้องมาซึ้งเลยมึง [mâi dtông - maa - séung - loiie - mueng] no need - come - touching, deep - [particle] - you

I think this is a little more coherent with Kant teasing Style about saying "I love you" afterwards, but that might also just be me. Anyway, Style and Kant bicker a bit and Kant accidentally causes pain to Style's injured arm. When they stop bickering, Style, who is in a bit of a better mood again after feeling a down about Fadel only moments before, now really wants to know alllll the tea he's missed while he was busy surviving the pain of the surgery: "When [Fadel] had my hand in his, how did he look at me?"

Kant goes into a dramatic reenactment for Style until they both break away laughing about how weird the thought of the two of them (Kant and Style) to kiss is. Once they've calmed down, Kant repeats that Fadel is worried about Style. Style smiles to himself, getting lost in thought again. It's still not an entirely happy smile, because Style still has a way to go to earn Fadel's forgiveness and Fadel still needs to make it clear in return that he does care about Style and appreciates him in a way where Style can actually see or feel it, but Style is definitely more hopeful again compared to earlier in the conversation. Maybe there is a chance Fadel is willing to give Style another chance after all. Maybe there really is still hope that Style will get his boyfriend back and that said boyfriend will also start treating him accordingly again. Maybe things aren't so bleak after all.

No. 5: Over My Dead Body

However, things take a dark turn when Style walks in on the love of his life holding his best friend at gunpoint. Style missed the beginning of the confrontation, so technically he doesn't really have context, but he also doesn't really need it, because he knows exactly what grudge Fadel is holding. No need to ask. Besides, the day they were playing with the BB guns Fadel already told Style "Kant has to deal with me. He started all this, after all." And now Fadel is making good on that promise.

But Style has been so worried about Kant's safety for so many episodes already and especially ever since Kant got kidnapped and now that Style's finally got his best friend back, alive, and he is not going to watch his (not-)boyfriend kill him in front of his very own eyes and so he shouts at Fadel not to hurt Kant. However, Kant is ready to accept his fate. But before he dies, Fadel needs to know that Style is innocent: "But Style has nothing to do with this. I lied to get him roped into this." Remember the word หลอก [lòhk] from last episode? Yeah, it makes an appearance again. Just so you know:

I deceived my friend one more time. ผมหลอกเพื่อนผมมาอีกทีนึงอ่ะ [pŏm - lòhk - pêuuan pŏm - maa - ìik tii nueng - àh] I - trick, deceive - my friend - [past tense marker] - one more time again - [particle]

(If you didn't read my ep8 meta: this word means "to trick" or "to deceive" and it came up A LOT during ep8. Lots of tricking and deceiving happening on this show. Who would have thought.)

But Style is not cool with Kant's sacrifice. "Don't you dare take all the credits," Style scolds him. And here, have the Thai version too, because it made me laugh:

Don't be cool all by yourself. มึงอย่าเท่คนเดียวดิวะ [mueng - yàa - têh - kon diieow - dì - wá] you - don't - (be) cool - alone, by yourself - [particle] - [particle]

Style won't let Kant to this alone. If Kant has to die, so does Style. And he makes that very clear to Fadel: "If you're going to kill him, kill me, too." Style's voice sounds angry when he says this and this is interesting, because Style hasn't really been properly angry with Fadel ever since he found himself tied up at the pool. Sure, Style got annoyed and he was even really done with Fadel at some points, but Style was never angry with Fadel, he never held any of what Fadel said or did to him against Fadel. No, instead of getting angry, Style just went with it and often met Fadel with kindness and love instead. But now that his best friend's life is on the line, Style is finally truly angry at Fadel. Fadel can shoot Kant over Style's dead body. And with the many times Fadel has saved Style in the last couple of days, Style knows for a fact that his dead body is not something Fadel can bear to see. Even when Fadel himself is the one who wants Style dead.

Style continues: "Nobody forced me into this. I agreed to it willingly." Style could have gotten out of this mess at any point after he was informed of Fadel's real occupation and of what Kant's real mission was, but Style didn't. Style stayed. And he even stuck to Fadel's side all throughout episode 8 without running away which is something that he did willingly. Not because he was afraid of Fadel's gun. Fadel never really treated Style as an actual hostage apart from that one time he handcuffed Style to the bed and the few times he waved his gun in Style's face. Style had plenty of opportunities to make a run for it, especially when Fadel was napping in the car. But Style chose to stay. Nobody forced him to do anything, not Fadel during their road trip and also not Kant at any time before that. Style went along with everything by his own choice and of his own will. No one's made any decisions for Style. Style also has agency in this game.

Style underlines this point by dropping down on his knees and offering his life by his very own choice. "Don't you have a little sympathy? We've been through all these things together. Why did you bother stitching me up if you're going to end up killing me anyway? Why didn't you just let me die?" Style is still angry, but now his voice sounds more reproachful as well as desperate. Style's hurt is really starting to shine through. He has stuck to Fadel's side with unwavering loyalty these past few days, has shown over and over again that he's serious about Fadel and his feelings for Fadel, he's been nice to Fadel, has helped him, has followed his wishes, has even nearly given his life to protect Fadel in the store. And not a single time has Fadel shown any sign of appreciation or as much as acknowledgment. That hurts. Even more so, when Fadel then goes to murder Style's best friend as a thank you in return for all that Style has done for him. I think when Style asks "Don't you have a little sympathy?" the unspoken question is You don't care about me, despite all that I've willingly done for you? Style's next words are even more loaded: "Why did you bother stitching me up if you're going to end up killing me anyway? Why didn't you just let me die?" This is You do care about me, because if you really did hate me all that much you could have easily let me die back there and finally be rid of me, but you didn't. You couldn't bear to see me die. This is If you care about me and my life this much, then why do you keep treating me so coldly? This is You saved my life and now you're just gonna destroy it immediately after? Are you really this cruel?

As Style is kneeling there, I don't think he is scared for his own life, I don't think he expects Fadel to actually shoot him dead on the spot. I think Style feels fairly safe in this moment, but he is terrified for Kant's life. He knows that Fadel can't bring himself to kill Style, because he loves him too much, but Fadel doesn't feel the same way about Kant. In fact, Fadel feels quite the opposite about Kant. If Fadel kills Kant now, even if he spares Style, Style's life would still be ruined. No matter how much Style insists that he'll like Fadel no matter what, I think if Fadel kills his best friend (or any of Style's loved ones really, like his dad), I think that's the one exception to the rule. I do think they would not be able to come back from that.

This moment here is also the first time Style actually begs Fadel for mercy. Yes, back at the pool he also worked on Fadel not firing that life-ending shot, but back then Style was mostly angry and annoyed and only a little scared. Yes, he did ask Fadel not to kill him, but back then Style was begging for his life, not for mercy. Back then Style didn't ask Fadel to show compassion. But now Style is on his knees, desperately begging Fadel to be merciful, to show compassion, to really think things through. Fadel stares at him.

Fadel may not appreciate the loyalty Style has shown him over the last few days, but Kant very much does appreciate Style's loyalty and voices it, too: "I'm happy to have called you a friend." Style replies "Thank you for making my life such an adventure. It's been so goddamn fun, you know that?" and now tears start falling from his eyes as he's speaking. And what I love about this is despite how Style is crying and despite how upset he is in this moment and despite how terrified he is about their (Kant's) death, for Style his potential goodbye to Kant isn't a tragedy. No, it's a celebration. Style is upset and he is sad and he is desperate and afraid, but he smiles a genuine smile through his tears as he speaks his potential last words that Kant may get to hear from him. It's a celebration of their friendship. Style takes this tragic moment and turns it into a happy one. Because if death is inevitable, he at least wants to spend their (Kant's) dying moment in happiness and with good memories in mind. Kant acknowledges that celebration with a smile and a nod, which Style returns.

But Fadel stays stubborn. "How can we be sure you're not just fooling us again?" Style's smile and brief moment of happiness has disappeared when he replies to Fadel. "You think I'd risk my life for all this if I didn't really have feelings for you?" Style is still firm, but now all the anger from moments before is completely gone. Only hurt and despair is left. Style is asking Fadel All this time you never thought or cared to see my perspective, did you? He's telling Fadel I'm here before you, literally begging you on my knees and you are STILL not willing to believe a single word out of my mouth nor any of my actions. Style may always act like Fadel's continuous stabs at him just bounce right off, but at the end of the day it does hurt him that Fadel keeps pushing him away, keeps refusing to appreciate or at the very least acknowledge Style's genuine sincerity. Style's words are reproachful, like he's asking What else do I still need to do in order to prove to you that I'm being serious, no tricks? How much longer will you disregard my very real feelings? Are you really that stubborn? Is this really the hill you're going to die on?

Now Kant jumps in with a beg of his own to support Style: "People make mistakes. Won't you give me a chance? I really love your brother, and my friend really loves you. The two of us will do anything to make sure the two of you get the life you want." Fadel looks at Style after Kant says "The two of us will do anything to make sure the two of you get the life you want." Style has his eyes fixed on Fadel and despite Style still being tense and his breathing being shaky, the expression on Style's face is firm and determined. Style really meant every single thing he just said or did. And he is especially determined in his decision to die alongside Kant. Style is sending a couple of messages to Fadel here. He's saying Since you're always disregarding my own feelings on this matter anyway it really seems like you don't give a shit about me after all, so killing me in addition to Kant really shouldn't be a problem for you at all, so go on, do it. He's telling him If you kill him, you kill me too. If not physically, then at the very least emotionally. He's asking Won't you finally believe that I'm undoubtedly serious and honest about everything and especially about you?

Style is also observing Fadel, watching Fadel intently to see what he's doing, to see what his next move is going to be. Fadel, who was staring at Style, looks back to Kant, then throws Style another look.

And that's when he makes the decision to not to shoot. To put the gun away, instead. And that decision was without a doubt made for Style, not for Bison. I think Style's words (and especially also the unspoken ones) got to him and more importantly, he got to see Style's loyalty in full action. And that was crucial for Fadel to see, because if Style is this loyal to Kant, then if Style's love for Fadel is true, Fadel can expect the same loyalty from him down the line. In fact, Style actually has shown Fadel the same loyalty all along already, or else he wouldn't have followed Fadel to Bison's island, nor would he have thrown himself in the line of fire at the store to protect Fadel. Although I'm not sure Fadel is really ready to truly look at and acknowledge that in this moment.

Fadel puts the gun down and walks a few steps away. Both Bison and Style rush to Kant to check on him. Once Style has made sure Kant is alright, he looks to Fadel. Fadel is looking at him too.

Then Fadel looks at the rest and asks "Any of you allergic to seafood?" And yes, that comment is funny, but it's funny in a way that in German we call Situationskomik (= situational comedy, comedy of the situation). I really don't think Fadel is making a joke here (like. that is NOT the face of a man who is cracking a joke). No, I think this is a peace offering, actually. It's an unspoken peace offering, because cooking for someone else is a gesture of care. And instead of killing Kant, Fadel offers to cook for everyone which includes Kant.

No. 6: Encouragement

Style on the phone with his dad and I'm relieved, because I'd been worrying about his dad with Style suddenly disappearing just like that without a word. And I'm sooo so glad the series spent a moment on showing us the relationship between Style and his dad again. Like, of course Style is gonna call his dad so that his dad doesn't have to worry. Bison is concerned that Style's dad will be mad if Style shows up back home all banged up like that, but Style is confident he can come up with some superhero story and promises not to spill the beans on Fadel and Bison. Style and Bison have some friendly banter until Bison tells Style that Fadel wants to talk to him and said for Style to meet him at the beach. Style is suddenly worried that Fadel changed his mind and wants to shoot him after all, since Style had already offered as much when he was on his knees earlier that day.

I think we have well-established by now that there is no way Fadel is capable of killing Style, and as I mentioned, I think Style is confident in that, too. So I don't think Style thinks Fadel is actually planning to kill him for real, I think he's mostly just being overdramatic and exaggerating again. Bison then plays along and says "No way. The worst he'd do would be trying to drown you" and when Style blinks at Bison and stares at him in shock I think it's because Style doesn't immediately recognize that this is a joke. After all, he hasn't really spent all that much time with Bison, so he doesn't really know Bison and his humor all that well. So Style stares at Bison with big eyes, then tilts his head and squeezes his eyes a bit, trying to figure out whether Bison is being serious right now and if this is something Fadel would actually do (after all, Bison knows Fadel's killer side a hell of a lot better than Style does) or whether Bison is just joking. Bison notices Style's struggle and clears up that he's just kidding and that Fadel wouldn't do that. But it's already too late. Bison's got Style genuinely concerned now. Fadel has proven over and over again that he won't be shooting Style, but who said anything about drowning Style? It's a possibility that Style had not yet considered.

Bison laughs and asks if Style really does like Fadel. All the fear and worry from a second ago disappears instantly as Style firmly tells him "Whatever Kant feels about you, that's how I feel about your brother. If you understand him, you should be able to understand me." Style fell in love with Fadel in episode 5 and absolutely nothing that has happened since, and especially absolutely nothing that has happened since Fadel drugged him at the hospital has changed any about that. Style chose Fadel at the end of episode 5 and he is still very set on that decision.

Bison advises Style that Style needs to prove his feelings to Fadel and tells Style "He acts all tough and rough on the outside, but on the inside, he’s just a softie". Style laughs. He did get to see that for himself during that short time period where he and Fadel were actually happy in their relationship. Bison continues: "He never hesitates when he kills. So if you're still alive, that means he's got a soft spot for you." Again, I think this is something that Style has absolutely clocked already and even called out (both explicitly at the beginning of the episode when he said "You can't kill me. You love me" as well as implicitly whenever he was teasing Fadel, for example in his hitman-teerak monologue or when he quoted Popcorn's words and went "I deserve to die" and cockily leaned his head back to mimic giving his life over to Fadel), but I also think that it still hits kinda different to hear it from someone who first of all has an outside perspective on things and second of all who knows Fadel's killer side better than anyone, from someone who's seen over and over again what Fadel is like when he's murderous, from someone who can absolutely judge the difference. Which Style can't, because he's never seen Fadel actually kill anyone, even if he got close to witnessing it a few times.

Style had started to get discouraged, because Fadel just wouldn't budge and just wouldn't let Style back in and Style just kept hitting one wall after another. And we can't forget that Style spent a lot of time repeatedly hitting walls for the first four episodes already and even when Fadel let him in, Fadel never let him in 100% (only 80%) and so even then Style still came across walls. And I think on top of being discouraged, Style was also starting to get tired a bit. It must be quite exhausting to be this persistent, let's be real. There is only so much energy you can spend on running after someone who keeps pushing you away again and again and keeps being harsh to you. Fadel hasn't even talked to Style or checked on him since Style woke up after the surgery. As far as we're aware of, the only time they've talked since then was when Style was begging for mercy on his knees. So yeah. That sure is encouraging.

But first with Kant's optimism and now with Bison's support as well, Style is starting to feel like maybe not all is lost after all. Hesitantly, he asks Bison:

You think I still have hope? มึงว่ากูยังมีหวังอยู่ป่ะวะ [mueng - wâa - guu - yang - mii - wăng - yùu - bpà - wá] you - think - I - still - have - hope - [auxiliary verb] - ? - [particle] Official subs: You think… I have a chance?

Style is starting to get his hopes up a little bit again. Maybe Fadel will take him back and be nice to him again. Bison is absolutely convinced: "Go for it. After all you've risked your life for, what else do you even have to be scared of now?" Style looks towards the ground, uncertain. Yeah, what else could he be scared of?

Nothing, except Fadel potentially drowning him in the ocean instead of rejecting him like a normal person. Or, you know, just the rejection in general, even if it doesn't come with murder. Honestly, at this point I think Style is also lowkey nervous, because now he really does have (strong) feelings for Fadel and Fadel being willing to be his boyfriend (again. or still) matters more than anything this time around. What will Style do if Fadel rejects him again?

Bison taps his shoulder encouragingly and walks off. Style stays back, thinking everything over.

How is he going to proceed from here? Is he going to try yet again and risk running into another wall as always? Or is he just gonna let it go and finally leave Fadel alone?

No. 7: A Vow Fulfilled

Style does go to the beach. When he arrives, Fadel is already there which makes sense, since Bison did tell Style that Fadel wanted to talk to him at the beach. Except Fadel immediately snaps at Style about what Style is doing here and asks about Bison. Style informs him that Bison was actually the one who said Fadel wanted to talk to Style right here. I think based on Fadel's facial journey and the fact that he moves to walk right off, Style can tell that Bison lied, probably to get Fadel and Style to talk to each other. And now, with new found hope, Style does very much have something to talk to Fadel about. So he catches Fadel's arm and pulls him back, asking him to at least stay for a chat. Fadel isn't really convinced and Style hits him with a cheeky "I can't sleep unless I talk to you". He then hands Fadel a list of all the relatives he has in his life, because "I want you to be sure that I'm not lying to you again." And I'm just gonna drop the Thai line again, because – ding ding ding, you guessed it! Our favorite word หลอก [lòhk] from last episode makes an appearance again:

I want you to be confident that I won't deceive you again. กูอยากให้มึงมั่นใจว่ากูจะไม่หลอกมึงอีก [guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - mân-jai - wâa - guu - jà - mâi - lòhk - mueng - ìik] I - want - that - you - (be) certain, confident - that - I - will - not - trick, deceive - you - again

If you haven't read my ep8 meta, I would encourage you to go read at least sections 6, 9 and 10, so that you have context for its significance. Last episode Style figured out that having been tricked (especially into love) was the one big thing that Fadel was really mad about. Last episode Fadel asked Style "You think that you deceiving (tricking) me is no big deal?" when they were sitting on the couch, then later when they were dancing, Style acknowledged that it is in fact a big deal and tells Fadel "But I'm ready to do anything to make you forgive me." Later in the bathtub Style acknowledges again that he did a bad thing by tricking (deceiving) and betraying Fadel (again I refer you to section 10 of my ep8 meta). And now, as Style is actively doing something in the hopes that it will finally make Fadel forgive him, he once again repeats to him the exact thing that Fadel is mad about, promising he won't be tricking/deceiving Fadel ever again. And yeah, the official translation isn't exactly wrong, because lying is in fact a thing that comes with deceiving or tricking people and this word can be translated as "lying", but I just want some consistency in the word choice. Because I'm sure the consistency of the word choice หลอก [lòhk] in the original Thai was very much on purpose. Otherwise they could have just had the characters say โกหก [goh-hòk] (= to lie) or some other word at some point too. But no, they kept (and keep) saying หลอก [lòhk] while the subs are all over the place (from "made someone do something" to "lying" to "fooling someone" etc. etc. -> these are just the ones off the top of my head). The translation student in me wants to scream. I might turn this into my master's thesis.

Anyway, now that this rant is out of the way, let's continue: So Style explicitly tells Fadel he won't be หลอก [lòhk]-ing him anymore and if he does end up doing it again, then Fadel is free to kill him together with his entire family. Fadel is outraged: "You're selling your whole family out for this? And you said you're a family man." And here's the literal translation, for those who are interested (it doesn't really change much):

You're selling your relatives to me? นี่มึงขายญาติให้กูเลยนะ [nîi - mueng - kăai - yâat - hâi - guu - loiie - ná] [interjection] - you - sell - relatives - to - me - [particle] - [particle] But you said you love your family, didn't you? ไหนมึงบอกว่ามึงรักครอบครัวไม่ใช่หรอ [năi - mueng - bòhk wâa - mueng - rák - krôp-kruua - mâi châi - rŏh] but - you - said that - you - love - family - no - ?

Style doesn't see a problem: "Because I know for a fact that I won't ever lie to you again." And yes, he does repeat the word หลอก [lòhk], thanks for asking. In fact, his wording is actually almost the same as earlier:

Well, I'm confident that I definitely won't deceive you again. ก็กูมั่นใจไงว่ากูจะไม่หลอกมึงอีกแน่นอน [gôh - guu - mân-jai - ngai - wâa - guu - jà - mâi - lòhk - mueng - ìik - nâe-non] well - I - (be) certain, confident - [particle] - that - I - will - not - trick, deceive - you - again - definitely, for sure

But Fadel, on top of being hurt that he was หลอก [lòhk]-ed by Style, he is now also offended that he is worth only a car to Style and sasses Style about it: "From what you did to me, I just hope that car's a real beauty." And it's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. In fact, the only time that he went to Kant to claim the car was when he happily bragged about Fadel being his boyfriend the moment he started dating him many episodes ago, but then Kant told him about Fadel's real occupation and Style was like fuck that, keep your car, I'm out. And even when he agreed to stay with Fadel anyway, Style still didn't leave with the car. In fact, as of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point (I've reached image limit, but we see Kant and Bison arrive at the bowling alley in that car at the end of episode 6 part 1). Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.

Fadel doesn't know any of that, of course. He doesn't know that Style isn't even in possession of the car (for now). And so Fadel drops a bitchy comment about it. Style's eyes widen and he immediately knows that Kant must have told Fadel. Fadel confirms and yells at him: "How are you gonna defend yourself now?" Shit. Style hadn't prepared for that conversation before he made his way down to the beach. Style hesitates a bit as he searches for words and the best way to defend himself without pissing Fadel off even more and making him run away again. Style's voice sounds a little stressed when he tells Fadel that it was only in the beginning that he wasn't being sincere. Fadel stares at him wordlessly. When Style continues to say "But after spending time with you" the stress from just now is gone and when he says "I've changed" his voice is very sincere and there's also an urgency that comes with it. Style really means what he says and it's important to him that Fadel believes him, too. But Fadel just looks away. So Style continues: "I never let anyone get the better of me. But for you, I'd do it again and again. I think we get along well." Now let me just share the Thai wording again:

Usually, I never lose to anyone. ปกติกูไม่เคยแพ้ใครนะ [bpòk-gà-dtì - guu - mâi koiie - páe - krai - ná] usually - I - never - lose (to) - anyone - [particle] But I have a soft spot for you. แต่กูแพ้ทางมึงว่ะ [dtàe - guu - páe taang - mueng - wâ] but - I - have a soft/weak spot for - you - [particle] I think we can have a life together. กูว่าเราสองคนอยู่ด้วยกันได้ [guu - wâa - rao sŏng kon - yùu - dûuay gan - dâai] I - think - the two of us - be, live - together - can, be able to

(Side note: there's a word play in the first and second line: to lose = แพ้ [páe] vs. to have a soft/weak spot = แพ้ทาง [páe taang])

Style uses the word แพ้ [páe] here, which means "to lose" or "to be defeated". And where have we heard Style use that word before? In episode 4, when Fadel drags him out of the Rise Up meeting and into the hallway. Once in the hallway, Style says: "I don't take defeats." And then we actually heard something similar again in episode 5 when Fadel tells Style "A guy like me doesn't know how to accept defeat" during their go-kart date. And now here Style is, standing in front of Fadel, telling him Fine. You win. I lose. And gladly so, if it means I get to have you in my life. Because he thinks they can be together. Style wants that and he's serious about it. Fadel looks away and sighs. So Style continues talking. And I'm just gonna share the literal translation again, not because it really makes any difference in meaning, but because I think some of you might be curious:

The thing I can do now is to convince you that I will be by your side. สิ่งที่กูทำได้ตอนนี้อ่ะ ก็คือพูดให้มึงเชื่อมั่นว่ากูจะอยู่ข้างมึง [sìng - tîi - guu - tam dâai - dton-níi - àh • gôh keu - pûut hâi mueng chêuua-mân - wâa - guu - jà - yùu - kâang mueng] thing - that - I - can do - now - [particle] • is - convince you - that - I - will - be - your side Official subs: The only thing I can do right now is promise you that I'll be by your side. But if you give me a chance แต่ถ้ามึงให้โอกาสกูอ่ะ [dtàe - tâa - mueng - hâi - oh-gàat - guu - àh] but - if - you - give - chance - me - [particle] Official subs: But if you give me a chance I will show you that I'm serious. กูจะทำให้มึงเห็นว่ากูเอาจริง [guu - jà - tam hâi - mueng - hĕn - wâa - guu - ao jing] I - will - make that - you - see - that - I - serious Official subs: I can show you I mean every word.

Fadel, who looked back at Style when he talked about being at Fadel's side, now looks away again and sighs for a second time. He remains stubborn. But Style won't be discouraged. He's made the decision to try getting through to Fadel once more and so he's on a mission now. "You don't believe me? Fine." Stupidly stubborn guys require stupidly silly methods. And at this point I really wanna share @ginnymoonbeam's words on this post:

You know when you've been fighting about something for a long time and eventually you get to a point where you know the other person has won, but you're too stubborn to just give up your position? That's Fadel. Everyone knows he isn't going to kill Style, that he loves Style, that he dragged him on this road trip because he wants to be with Style. He knows it too, but he's climbed on this hill-to-die-on and can't see his way down. Style's dramatic little stunt gives him a way to climb down. He has to get in the water because Style is the one being stubborn and unreasonable. It's gotta be a scene with a sense of urgency to break through that last resistance, but it also has to be something deeply stupid, because a genuine dangerous crisis takes his focus elsewhere. Fortunately manufacturing a deeply stupid emergency situation is right in Style's lane.

If Fadel wants to remain on that hill, then Style will just have to walk straight into the ocean. And he'll just keep walking until Fadel climbs down from that hill and gives him a chance after all. Even if Fadel's mirror last episode said that bad people don't deserve chances. And Style clearly is bad people for tricking Fadel into loving him and being crazy about him and then betraying him. And according to Fadel's mirror people who trick others into loving them all deserve to die. So instead of having Fadel drown him, Style will just willingly go drown himself in the ocean. He deserves to die for tricking Fadel after all. And so Style walks on. But suddenly Fadel starts getting stressed. He shouts after Style that his wound is going to get infected and but Style is determined to show just how serious he is: "And I will die of that, too!" Style is bad people and Style deserves to die for his sins and so Style will drown himself in the ocean and let the infected wound kill him on top of that. For love. Style walks and walks and makes a big show out of it and his injury gets closer and closer to the water and Fadel gets more and more stressed until he breaks after all: "Fine! I'll give you a chance." Style smiles for a moment, before he raises his eyebrows like Oh, is that so? and questions Fadel: "Really?"

Style knows he's won now, but the thing is that Fadel was reeeally stubborn for a reeeally long time and Style reeeally had to work for Fadel to utter the words "I'll give you a chance". And so Style decides drag it out a little longer. I think he partly does it to playfully mess with Fadel a bit, partly simply just to be a little shit and give Fadel a bit of a taste of his own medicine, and also partly because just as much as Fadel needed to see proof of Style's sincerity, Style also wants to see some proof that Fadel really means it when he says he'll give Style a chance. After all, Style's heart is on the line here, too. And there's only so much rejection a man in love can take. Style doesn't want that chance if Fadel is just gonna turn around and go back to making death threats again as soon as Style is back out of the water. And so instead of walking back to land, Style calls out "Nah, I’m gone. There’s no way you mean it." And let me just–

You're tricking me for sure. มึงหลอกกูแน่ [mueng - lòhk - guu - nâe] you - trick, deceive - me - for sure Official subs: There's no way you mean it.

Yup. Our favorite word is back. Fadel has repeatedly thrown it into Style's face that Style tricked him and now Style is turning Fadel's words back around on him. And it's not in a malicious way, no, Style is affectionately teasing Fadel with it and also being a bit of a little shit and also, as I just said, I do think Style is also lowkey worried that Fadel is in fact just tricking him. And I do think Style wants to confirm that this is not the case. By the way, I'm not sure Style's tease even registered in Fadel's brain, because he's so stressed and he's already moving to walk into the water the moment the words "I'm gone" are out of Style's mouth. As Fadel walks up to him in the water, Style watches him with a happy, expectant expression on his face. That expression turns serious as Fadel approaches him.

Style's behavior just now as he was walking into the ocean was very playful, very silly in order to get Fadel to loosen up and to lose his grumpiness a bit and to get Fadel to climb down from his hill of stubbornness. But what he has to say Fadel is actually very serious: "I promise you that, from now on, you'll only see the 100% real me." I think this is a big relief for Style, because we saw how much he was longing to be able to talk freely about everything with Fadel as far back as episodes 5 and 6. Fadel says "Besides work, I've been real to you from day one" and Style just looks at him without replying, because Fadel is kind of right. Although, it's not like Style could just say it, because apart from the deal with the car, the whole being a police snitch was Kant's thing, not Style's and so it was Kant's secret to spill. And it's not like Style could have just told Fadel Kant's secret, because Kant would have been a dead man right there and then. Style got as close as he could to spilling the secret without actually spilling it and I think especially that night at the rock concert Style would have like nothing more than to come clean and to stop Fadel from going on that mission, but it would have been at the cost of Kant's life and only two scenes ago we saw that Style will not have that.

As much as Style was Style for walking into the ocean just like that, Fadel is also Fadel and of course can't let this go without making another threat: "If you don't stay true to me after this, you'll find out how I deal with liars."

If you aren't real with me after this, you better watch out. หลังจากเนี้ยถ้ามึงไม่เรียลกับกู มึงเจอดีแน่ [lăng jàak - níia - tâa - mueng - mâi - riial - gàp - guu • mueng - jer - dii - nâe] after - this - if - you - not - real - with - me • you - meet - good - for sure

Bye the way, I'm not sure how obvious it is to non-Thai speakers, but whenever they talk about "being real" they actually use the English word "real". And I just wanted to put the Thai wording here, because Fadel also uses the anglicism "real" here when the subs talk about "staying true". Also, his threat is way less elaborate. Literally, the threat translates to something like "to meet good" (like, you'll meet something good as in something bad will happen to you).

Style doesn't talk back. He stays quiet. And I think it's because at this point there isn't really a lot he can say. It's true that he hadn't been real with Fadel and so he quietly accepts his fate. Style then also huffs a little and looks at Fadel fondly. Because even if Fadel just threatened him again, it still implied that they really will have a "from now on" together. And that makes Style happy. That's exactly what he just walked into the ocean for. After a moment, Fadel prompts Style to get out of the water before his wound gets infected. And now Style starts talking back again and teases Fadel: "Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me."

And here I wanna share the literal wording again, because it reminds me of some other scenes. And let me just explain this one word before I do... So where the subs say "threatening", Style uses the word โหด [hòht] which is a word I actually discussed with my Thai friend after episode 7 and he explained that it can be translated in a few different ways depending on context, but usually it means "cruel" or "aggressive" or "brutal". I'm gonna go with "harsh" as a translation to have some consistency, because I feel like this word could work for all the lines that I'm about to drop.

In episode 4, when Style showed up in the kitchen he told Fadel:

No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you. มึงโหดแค่ไหนอ่ะ กูก็ยังติดใจมึงอยู่ดี [mueng - hòht - kâe năi - àh • guu - gôh - yang - dtìt-jai - mueng - yùu dee] you - harsh - how much - [particle] • I - [sentence link] - still - hooked - you - anyway Official subs: It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked.

Then, in episode 7 when Fadel surprise attacked Style with a shower of kisses at the garage, Fadel had following complaint to Style:

When I'm sweet, you don't like it. ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ [dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp] when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like Official subs: You don't like me being nice. When I'm harsh, you still scold me. ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู [dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu] when - I - harsh - you - [sentence link] - scold - me Official subs: You complain when I'm cold.

Now in episode 9, Style's words are very reminiscent of that complaint:

Even when you're this harsh, you're still sweet with me. นี่ขนาดโหดนะเนี่ย ยังหวานกับกูเลย [nîi - kà-nàat hòht - ná - nîia • yang - wăan - gàp - guu - loiie] [interjection] - this harsh - [particle] - [particle] • still - sweet - with - me - [particle] Official subs: Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me.

When Style comments "How adorable", he's still teasing Fadel, but you can also clearly see just how delighted and happy he is that Fadel really seems to mean it when he says he'll give Style a chance after all. He looks at Fadel with the brightest smile. But Fadel has spent a lot of time being angry and hurt and grumpy and stubborn and so he isn't gonna be cheesy from one second to the next. And so he speaks out another (very empty, almost joking) threat as he warns Style he can be worse. "You want that?" Style says no. But if Fadel is already letting him put in requests, then Style wants Fadel to use only his sweet side.

From now on I want you to use only your sweet side. ต่อไปนี้กูอยากให้มึงใช้แต่ด้านหวาน [dtòh bpai níi - guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - chái - dtàe - dâan wăan] from now on - I - want - that - you - use - only - sweet side Official subs: From now on, I just want to see you being lovey-dovey.

This actually makes Fadel laugh a bit and ask for clarification and when he looks at Style after that, his face is suddenly so much softer. Style explains: "In a situation like this, if we weren't fighting, what would you like to do to me?" He smiles at Fadel, his face expectant and mixed with almost a sort of innocence like Oh, this is totally not an implicit request for you to kiss me and it also has a bit of a challenging flair like Do you dare to kiss me? The message reaches Fadel loud and clear. He dares. As long as Style is alive he'd make Fadel kiss him again. And Style did. Fadel is kissing him. By Fadel's own choice. Style left it entirely up to him, didn't force Fadel to kiss him, didn't get physically close to him, didn't try to seduce him in any way, didn't even explicitly say the words "kiss me" out loud. In fact, Style asked "What would you like to do to me?" and Fadel could really have chosen to do anything, but what Fadel wanted to do was to kiss Style. Style may have said earlier that he'd lose to Fadel, but is Style really losing here with Fadel back at his side?

Now. The eyes. Let me address the eyes, because I've seen talk about it. Honestly, the way Style's eye keep fluttering open kinda reminds me of what I wrote about the ep6 rock concert kiss and forehead touch in my ep6 meta:

They seal that promise with a kiss. And it's interesting, because Style doesn't immediately close his eyes when Fadel goes to kiss him but instead looks at him for a moment longer. And then his eyes keep fluttering open for a moment. It's almost as if he can't tear his eyes away from Fadel, as if he can't help but use every opportunity to look at Fadel, to catch every last glimpse of Fadel while he still has the opportunity to do so. They break apart and Fadel tells Style that he's (also) very happy tonight and Style (re)confirms his own happiness. They lean their foreheads against each other. And again, Style can't really close his eyes and fully sink into the moment the way Fadel can. It's like he tries to close his eyes but they keep fluttering open a second later because he just can't keep his eyes away from Fadel, is compelled to keep looking at him while he still can, while Fadel is still right there with him. And even when they break away from each other and turn to look out of the window towards the stage, it takes Style a couple of seconds to tear his eyes away from Fadel, who is already looking elsewhere.

Except now it's the polar opposite energy. Back at the concert, it was the end for Style. Now in the water it's a (new) beginning. Back at the concert it was like Style had to savor every last look at Fadel that he could get before it was too late. Now in the water it again feels like Style just can't stop looking at Fadel, but for a different reason. I think it's undeniable that Style is deeply in love with Fadel. But Fadel started pushing him away from the moment Bison was stabbed and at first Style didn't even know what the fuck was happening, especially with how weirdly affectionate Fadel had been the day before. And from then on Fadel has just kept pushing Style away again and again, outright tried to murder him even, and then just kept refusing Style, kept refusing to believe Style no matter how much Style tried to show him just how serious he was about his feelings for Fadel and how serious he was about their relationship. Fadel was pushing Style away so much that even Style, our beacon of optimism and hope, believer in the power of love, even he was starting to get discouraged that Fadel would ever take him back. But now Fadel is here, kissing him again. Style can't believe his eyes and it's like he has to keep looking at Fadel to check that he's really not dreaming, that Fadel really is here, standing in front of him, kissing him. It's the relief that he is finally getting his Fadel back which makes him unable to stop looking at Fadel to make sure it's real.

And another aspect my mom actually mentioned when I was talking to her about this scene was that Style is also checking on Fadel. I don't remember her reasoning, but for me personally it's that Fadel has been very hot-and-cold lately, jumping from saving Style's life to pushing him away again and threatening him in the very next moment. And as I mentioned above, Fadel is not the only one with a heart that can get hurt. Style is also human, Style also has a heart, Style can also get hurt. Even if it may not seem like it through his easy-going, unserious, always optimistic personality. Style is human and Style isn't the only one here between the two of them who did something hurtful to the other. And so I think part of the reason why Style's eyes keep fluttering open is to check Fadel's reactions. Because just because Fadel is in hot-mode right now, doesn't mean he won't jump right back into cold-mode from one second to the next. And so Style has to keep checking so that he's prepared for it if it happens again, because I'm not sure Style's heart could handle it if Fadel suddenly pushed him away again now without a warning. It would be like that time Fadel dumped him in the kitchen back in episode 4, except this time Style would probably be even more hurt than back then, because now he is undeniably irrevocably deeply in love with Fadel. If Fadel pushed him away again now I think that would actually break Style for real.

But Fadel doesn't. They break apart and Fadel nuzzles his face into Style's neck for a moment (definitely kissing it) and then they lean their foreheads against each other for a while. Together again at last.

No. 8: Lore

They're back in the room and Fadel is about to finish renewing Style's bandages after their little swim in the ocean. Fadel tells Style not to do something like this again. Style smiles and says "But I gotta pull some dramatic stunt for someone like you." Fadel huffs in response but is otherwise very focused on the bandages and doesn't reply. Now that they're finally one on one again and Style is also no longer dying of pain, he uses the chance to finally, albeit hesitantly, ask about the guy on the photo in the car. One could think that Style asks out of jealousy, but to be honest, I don't think so. As I mentioned in the beginning of this meta, I think he'd have a gut feeling if that guy was someone who could actually be a potential rival. Also, there's a chance that the person on the photo was also just a family member or something, not necessarily someone Fadel was romantically involved with. Besides, Fadel did tell him that he didn't have any past lovers and that he didn't want a lover in the first place to avoid getting anyone in trouble. So I think rather than out of jealousy, Style asks out of curiosity and genuine care. Fadel has shared next to nothing about his past, but Style wants to know. His voice is full of concern, but not because he feels threatened by the guy in the photo. Instead it's genuine worry for Fadel. Style hesitates to ask and seems almost a little nervous, as if he's scared that this question will cause Fadel to shut him out again.

Fadel stares at Style for quite a long moment, then goes back to the bandage without answering Style's question. Style immediately says "I'm sorry for prying. If you don't want to tell me, I understand" and that cements it even more for me that Style isn't asking out of jealousy. Because I think if he was jealous, he'd try to find out more. I don't think he'd be all that chill with Fadel not answering his question. No, I think Style's question is him cautiously trying to learn more about Fadel's past, but Style will also respect Fadel's boundaries if Fadel isn't ready to talk about it. Especially since last time Style insisted on Fadel opening up about his past, Fadel dropped that his parents were shot dead. So when Fadel doesn't answer, Style is quick to let him know that he won't be prying this time and that Fadel doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to. And it's only then that Fadel makes the decision to open up after all. That guy is his ex. This new information has Style a little speechless as it dawns on him that Fadel lied about not having had a boyfriend before.

Once Style has processed this, he continues to ask how long Fadel had been dating this guy for and the reason why they broke up. And again, I don't think Style is bothered by the fact that Fadel does have an ex. There is so much worry and care in his voice as well as on his face while he talks and listens to Fadel. He genuinely cares to know about Fadel's past. And Fadel shares willingly and without any more hesitation: They were gonna start a life together but then the guy disappeared from one day to the other. Fadel jokes "Maybe he was scared of me, thinking I'd kill him if he broke up with me" and Style huffs and smiles a little, but that smile doesn't really reach his eyes.

Style doesn't think the joke is all that funny. He looks at Fadel fondly, but I think he also really feels for him. He feels bad for him for getting dumped like that and feels sad that Fadel thinks his past lover might have been scared of him, so terrified even that he didn't even want to confront him. And we know the latter part specifically really gets to Style, because the next thing he does is that he grabs Fadel's hand and tells him "I'm not scared of you". And Style is about to continue that sentence, but for a moment he just lets this part stand on its own, lets Fadel process that first before he goes on. Style isn't afraid of Fadel and it's important to him that Fadel knows that. Style continues to say that he hasn't been scared of Fadel since he saved the woman at the bowling alley and I call bullshit on that. I think Style stopped being afraid of Fadel by the end of episode 5 and I wrote 12k words about it. However, I do think the bowling alley incident cemented what Style was saying about Fadel being a good person last episode in the bathtub. Style ends with "You risked your life for a total stranger. I know I'm in love with the right man." And let me just...

A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know. คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ​ [kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám] person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even I love the right person. กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ [guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá] I - love - right - person - already - [particle]

I do much prefer the phrasing of "I love the right person", because it's not just a state of being, but it's something that Style actively does, is actively doing, has actively been doing, actively chooses to do over and over again.

Style's words really hit Fadel. And I think this time, he finally fully believes them, finally lets himself fully believe them. Fadel goes through quite the emotional journey, then grabs Style's arm and puts it over him as he lays his head in Style's lap. Fadel finally gets to be a child seeking comfort. Style's free hand immediately finds Fadel's head to stroke him. At one point Style smiles a little and shakes his head, looking a bit amused.

It's my personal headcanon that in this moment Style is remembering Bison's words about Fadel being all rough on the outside, but actually being a huge softie inside and is laughing to himself about how it's true. He currently has a very soft (and vulnerable) Fadel in his lap after all he roughness that Fadel put him through. They continue to stay like this until the end of the scene.

No. 9: Peace, Joy, Egg Cake

Allow me to bulk the last few scenes into one last section and allow me to mostly just skip over them a bit, since there isn't all that much plot happening here and it's more about the characters getting to be a little happy again at the end of this story arc before we go into the last bit (can you tell I'm just trying to get this meta done asap so I can hopefully drop it before ep10 lmao).

We got our OT4 happily playing frisbee in the water and it makes me laugh how Style's wound getting infected apparently isn't the same big problem anymore as it was the night before. It also makes me laugh how Style is apparently also perfectly capable of lifting an entire human man with that injured arm of his. I remember this one time a couple of years ago where I scraped open my entire leg and I couldn't walk on it for at least a week without being in pain, so like. Good on your pain tolerance @ Style, I guess. Same thing with Bison and his stab wound. And Fadel's sprained arm has magically healed as well, apparently. Not to mention Kant with his ocean trauma having absolutely no problem letting loose in the ocean water. This show is so unserious, I love it.

After they're done playing in the water, they sit on the shore and have a conversation about staying on the island, except Fadel reminds Bison that they still have one last job to do. Although Fadel then also says "Once we wrap up the last mission, we can go anywhere and do anything. Not sure if they'd come with us, though." For the last sentence, Fadel turns his head and says it directly into Style's face. This statement was 100000% directed at Style and Style alone, not Kant. Style stares at Fadel for a moment and then makes a face like My love, do you really even need to ask after I've followed you all the way here?

Then he says "Just tell me where, and I'll go with you." and I shake my hands at the writers in disappointment, because this would have been THE opportunity to bring back "hitman teerak". Especially because the wording is also kind of similar.

Episode 7: Tell me where you wanna go na krub, hitman-teerak. มึงอยากไปไหนอ่ะ บอกกูมาเลยนะครับนักฆ่าที่รัก [mueng - yàak - bpai - năi - àh • bòhk guu maa - loiie - ná - kráp - nák-kâa - tîi-rák] you - want - go - where - [particle] • tell me - [particle] na - krub - hitman - teerak Official subs: I'll drive you where you want me to go, my dear hitman. Episode 9: Tell me where you're going. I'm all ready to go. จะไปที่ไหนก็บอก กูพร้อมไปอยู่ละ [jà - bpai - tîi năi - gôh - bòhk • guu - próm - bpai - yùu - lá] will - go - where - [sentence link] - tell • I - ready- go - [auxillary verb] - [particle] Official subs: Just tell me where, and I'll go with you.

Please tell me, does the episode 9 sentence not scream for a "hitman teerak" drop? Does it not look a little incomplete?

Anyway, Style continues to say a very Style thing and Fadel laughs. This has Kant quite impressed. I have not gone back and checked if Kant is right about never having seen Fadel laugh, but I'm just gonna assume it's true. The only scene that I can think of where Kant may have seen Fadel laugh is at the bowling alley in episode 5, but Kant would have had to be looking at Fadel to see actually see that. Also let me just...

Please, the way Style is smiling so brightly at Fadel. He's so over the moon to have his Fadel back. With everyone being so happy and cute it just has me very worried about what next episode might have in store for them, especially considering the preview (we're not gonna have any more injuries on this show, are we? 🥺🙏).

As for Style's mood in the scene with everyone on the boat on the way back to land, I'm just gonna leave Joong's tweet here...

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep10)

[respectthepetty]

The Heart Killers' Colors? - Ep. 8

We are going into the final quarter of this show, and I'm sticking by my belief that Style is all flesh. He is vulnerability. He is exposure. He is openness. He is baby. And he is easily wearing down Fadel.

The first thing Style does when they get into the room is discard his top and proceed to suggest sex is an option in the midst of looking for Fadel's brother who is holding his best friend at gun point at any given moment.

But that is Style. He has no defenses, so he always says what is on his mind, like when he later tearfully confesses that he would be sad to leave his dad but happy to see his mom if Fadel killed him.

He has no shield to protect himself, but also no need to protect himself. Unlike Fadel, who has closed himself off to feeling and to the world, Style feels everything because he is always exposed in the world. Which is why despite himself, Fadel wants to feel . . . Style, love, hope.

And that's what helps Kant soften his Red Rascal because previously, Kant was guarded. He wore long-sleeves and pants. He kept his secrets. Yet here is he in a tank and shorts with a gun to his head.

While Style has been open and exposed this entire time, Kant is barely able to do so now due to the constant threat of death from his Red Rascal.

But I think that's also why Kant easily accepted the rudimentary nature of his captivity. In allowing himself to show Bison who he really is, Kant gets to go back to the basics, which also includes fishing for his own food while wearing Bison's red.

Bison, the man with a fiery temper, directs Kant to build the fire even though Bison has a lighter just because he wants to see if Kant will put in the effort to start from scratch.

But Bison quickly extinguishes Kant's enteral fire by throwing water on him after Kant gets a little too passionate about vocalizing his attraction to Bison.

Which is a stark contrast to Fadel giving Style water while Style is covered up in what I believe is Fadel's dark clothing.

Because Style has already stated that he would get back to the basics for Fadel to win his heart again. So after he pushes the car, he walks.

He feeds Fadel.

And he bares himself his heart, again.

Even though Fadel has reverted to hiding his smiles during the celebration of love,

Style doesn't allow Fadel to hide himself.

Style could've ran so many times, yet he constantly steps into Fadel's dark world like getting in the tub with Fadel.

And Kant, who could've ran too, does the same. He sits next to the water with Bison.

They've calmed down. They are exposed. So instead of beginning like this,

They've restarted.

Instead of living in a fantasy of lies,

They are facing the reality of each other.

So even though they still have some barriers to overcome, like the huge barrier between their "mother" and Keen,

Kant can now be his true self (and color?) around his Red Rascal.

And Black Brooder Fadel can see that Style is more than willing to stand in his darkness with him.

They're watered down versions of what they were when they first met because they feel safer around each other, so they're tamer.

They're open. They're exposed. They vulnerable.

They're Style.