#f*ck lauren

[demivampirew]

There aren't enough nasty words in this world to explain who much I f*cking hate season 3

Boring af

A complete waste of time and money

Heroic send-off for Henry as Geralt? Really, Lauren, really?! The only one who got a "heroic send-off" was Stregobor, yes, Stregobor died as a "hero" helping the mages while enjoying killing the elves, like the bigot he is.

Seriously, this season made the last season of GOT a freaking masterpiece in comparison!!!!

No wonder Henry decided to go. He barely got any screen time this season, especially in the last 3 episodes. I'm surprised he stayed and didn't tell them to f*ck off and left -he likely stayed only for legal purposes.

I hope that sh*tshow gets canceled. Such a waste of time and money.

[notesfromachair]

The Golden Gavel

The most talked about show this week was the one where a group of adult politicians squirmed in desperation, objected in glee and eventually screamed with pride as they finally, after 15 torturous televised parliamentary procedure-moderated votes, managed to elect a new Speaker of the 2023 U.S. House of Representatives. Well whoop de doo And yet no single image summed up the marathon. multi-day…

[vilnmelling]

The Matthews-Goldstein-Lipschitz-McNeils

While I make some more alignment charts, voilà, here's my rendition of the Jon Matteson family tree!

Gary and Paul are brothers, and they have an older sister who my sister and I definitely didn't name after Jon himself. There's quite a big age difference between the siblings, with twelve years between Joan and Paul (Gary's somewhere undecided between there).

I've seen many people headcanon Gary as Richie and Trevor's dad, but I just canNOT see that man raising children. Plus, the surnames don't match up. Speaking of surnames, though, Gary changed his on his own accord, purely for his lawyer brand. "Gary Matthews" just didn't have the right ring to it.

Joan has three sons: Trevor, Richard ("Richie") and Daniel. Trevor and Richie are twins (Trevor is eleven minutes older, I don't make the rules). Paul used to be saddled with babysitting the trio, and as a result, he's very close with his nephews, even now that they don't need babysitting anymore. He's especially close with Richie. BONUS: Trevor is the reason Paul had to see Godspell at the rec center. Trev was in it, and he also thought it was awful (in a fun way).

Since Black Friday tells us two of Linda's sons aren't Gerald's, and Lauren has confirmed that Linda and Gary have had at least one affair, we put two and two together and now Gary's the biological father of Trent and Seaton. (Seaton was picked at random, and Trent being Gary's child was just obvious). Whether or not Gary knows this is up to interpretation. It's possible Linda's the only one who knows.

Wallace McNeil and Boy Jerry are brothers and the cousins of Joan, Gary and Paul. Wallace got the f*ck out of Hatchetfield the moment he had the possibility to. Girl Jeri converted Boy Jerry into such deep Christianity, but then he took it further than she ever had.

Due to Lauren confirming Linda and Gary's affair/s (whether it was a joke or not, I take that as canon now), Roman Murray and the Monroe family aren't a part of this family in any official, legitimate way (*cough* looking at you, Gary and his illegitimate children *cough*).

For reasons I hope are obvious, Wiggly isn't included either.

Now just imagine the family gatherings. Summer barbecues, where Trevor takes every opportunity to reference the Barbecue Monologues. Christmas celebrations that Boy Jerry is specifically asked not to show up to. He shows up anyway — even the time they didn't tell him at whose house they were celebrating. Birthday parties where no one has any idea what to buy the birthday person. What does Paul get Trevor the theater kid? What would Boy Jerry get Richie the anime nerd? What does anyone get Paul the Normal Man?

[bad-witchcraft-smp-ideas]

Wait wait wait wait. Are any of these guys not fugitives??

Shelby- Literally is future empires!Shelby. Yes, I am a bit salty that my headcanon entirely contradicts canon now. But yeah, she literally messed with parallel universes, got expelled from The academy, and was on wanted posters throughout the entire world. 100% a fugitive.

Scott- This guy curses people when he doesn't like them, or he tricks them into letting him curse them to practice cursing his enemies if he does like them.

Eloise- Stole multiple medals, trophies, and the Supreme crown.

Pris- I don't actually remember what she did, but someone already stated that she is a fugitive so-

Joey- 1, he's Joey. 2, he murdered and threatened and backstabbed and decieved. 3, he broke Lauren's trust. This isn't an actual crime, but come on! Might as well be, look at the wet cat! 4, did I mention he's Joey?

Cleo- Much like Pris, I don't actually know what specifically they did. But I have seen Cleo in both Hermitcraft and the Life Series, she has definitely done at least something

Lauren- awtesrygkuhl I don't remember if she did anything but I've watched other videos by her and she's just the type of person to commit petty crimes for the sake of annoying her friends so yeah probably on the run from the law.

Tiff- I think she might be the only person that's not a fugitive. Congrats! Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong lol

Headcanon that post-canon Bertha and the old Supreme get arrested because "why the f*ck would you invite 7 fugitives to become the new ruler? the nature witch should've gotten the role by default istg" anyone?

-⛈🍄

SJCISUCJEHHCE

[felteverywhere]

got like 8 drafts open that i'm eager to get through but naturally being me i'm very musey for certain characters and would love some new things with them. soooo f*ck it, one liner starter call. muses to pick from below!

dove velazquez, 19, bisexual, she/her, jenna ortega fc.

jacob welch, 21, straight, he/him, milo manheim fc.

joss yao, 24, bisexual, she/her, havana rose liu fc.

johanna mcnamara, 42, lesbian, she/her, lauren ambrose fc.

rory medina, 23, lesbian, she/her, ruby cruz fc.

rowan butler, 24, straight, he/him, thomas weatherall fc.

susanna ‘sosie’ vanderbilt, 21, she/her, sydney sweeney fc

[practicalmagicintuitions]

I feel like the tea behind the scenes on the Witcher is more exciting than the season itself, lol.

I have decided not to watch this season, for many reasons, but I am still curious about what happened behind closed doors. Probably we will never know.

Well, I wanted to write a last paragraph for my reading but I decided not to, but f*ck it. This is ONLY MY OPINION and nothing to do with the cards I pulled.

With all of those rumors around him, the witcher, lauren, freya, the shooting, his behavior etc, and the fact that he finally has a seemingly appropriate gf (age wise) who is always with him (allegedly) but who he has no chemistry with… you know… 1+1=2…. Maybe people really, I mean really should look behind the scenes and asking difficult, hard questions… Like what is he gaining with this very public relationship? People won’t like this answers I guess but we observed this relationship from every possible angle except this one. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

"(except Leon, sometimes I feel like Connor has more chemistry with him than he has with Lauren)" this is eerily accurate and kinda true with so many nhl relationships, like half of them don't seem to even like their gf or wives but love their boys

take a page out of womens hockey and just marry your teammates

Homies before h*es.

No, but what do you expect? More than 80 % of those guys have girlfriends or wives only to have a better public image, to please their parents who want them to settle down and start a family with someone, to have dinner on the table when they come home from a game or road trip, occasional stable f*ck in between their hookups all over the country, and someone who will give them kids and take care of them cause they would never be able to do that by themselves if they didn't have stay-at-home-mom-slash-wife.

[outpost51]

f*ck me yourself, coward and though she has shown me where her bones lie? ~ @void-botanist

ask me about my playlists

two more conceptual ones! with complete opposite vibes LMAO

f*ck me yourself, coward is honestly what i imagine atria listening to, very much bad bitch with a bone to pick vibes.

faves:

i spit on your grave by zand [youtube]

get mine by holy wars [youtube]

therapy! by lauren sanderson [youtube]

though she has shown me where her bones lie is sapphic pining after a ghost, that's it, that's the story

faves:

giving in to the love by aurora [youtube]

bloom by the paper kites [youtube]

my friend by hayley williams [youtube]

[romancereadingdiva]

My Neighbor’s Secret Now Live!

MY NEIGHBOR’S SECRET by Lauren Rowe is now live!

▪️Blurb:

Charlotte McDougal I hate him and I don’t even know his name.

The good news is my nemesis has made it abundantly clear the feeling is mutual. He did call me pretty, though, in the midst of a heated screaming match. Which would have been flattering, if I didn’t loathe him so much. But whatever. I don’t care how handsome he might be, or how charming the rest of the world probably finds him, guys who look like aged-out boy banders aren’t my type. Add to that, he’s got a knack for being in precisely the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was thrilled to march away from our angry skirmish and never see the b*stard with the piercing blue eyes, ever again.

It wasn’t meant to be, though. As it turns out, my sworn enemy is my new next-door neighbor. F*ck my life. Luckily, he’s got a big secret to keep, just like I do. He’s in a jam, and so am I. So, we’ve decided to put our differences aside long enough to resolve our respective predicaments. Of course, we’ve made it clear this is going to be a business arrangement and nothing more. A necessary means to an end. But when you’re forced to work closely with your sworn enemy, a guy who happens to be ridiculously attractive and surprisingly funny—when he actually starts to grow on you, much to your shock—keeping things strictly professional becomes easier said than done.

My Neighbor’s Secret is a funny, silly, zany, swoony, spicy, enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, standalone rom com that will keep you laughing, swooning, guessing, and fanning yourself, all the way to Charlotte and Auggie’s happily ever after.

📌 Available Now! Free in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://books2read.com/LRMNS

[demivampirew]

Me: I'm going to save the last 3 episodes of The Witcher to watch it on my birthday because I asked for the day off work.

Me: *Spends birthday angry and cursing the showrunner and writers of The Witcher for ruining a story that could've been amazing if they didn't suck at their jobs*

[slipsndocs]

Alan 'The Alchemist', Action Bronson, Big Body Bes & Meyhem Lauren.

F*ck That's Delicious Tv Show (Vice/ YouTube)

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

 COVER REVEAL

We are thrilled to reveal this gorgeous cover for MY NEIGHBOR’S SECRET by Lauren Rowe coming December 1!  

Preorder Link: https://books2read.com/LRMNS

WILL BE FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED

Charlotte McDougal I hate him and I don’t even know his name.

The good news is my nemesis has made it abundantly clear the feeling is mutual. He did call me pretty, though, in the midst of a heated screaming match. Which would have been flattering, if I didn’t loathe him so much. But whatever. I don’t care how handsome he might be, or how charming the rest of the world probably finds him, guys who look like aged-out boy banders aren’t my type. Add to that, he’s got a knack for being in precisely the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was thrilled to march away from our angry skirmish and never see the bastard with the piercing blue eyes, ever again.

It wasn’t meant to be, though. As it turns out, my sworn enemy is my new next-door neighbor. F*ck my life. Luckily, he’s got a big secret to keep, just like I do. He’s in a jam, and so am I. So, we’ve decided to put our differences aside long enough to resolve our respective predicaments. Of course, we’ve made it clear this is going to be a business arrangement and nothing more. A necessary means to an end. But when you’re forced to work closely with your sworn enemy, a guy who happens to be ridiculously attractive and surprisingly funny—when he actually starts to grow on you, much to your shock—keeping things strictly professional becomes easier said than done.

My Neighbor’s Secret is a funny, silly, zany, swoony, spicy, enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, standalone rom com that will keep you laughing, swooning, guessing, and fanning yourself, all the way to Charlotte and Auggie’s happily ever after.

[yahooanswersblog]

lauren: 《 shoutout 》 If you could talk to one species of animal, which would you choose ?

Me: That would involve giving them a mind like ours, right? Because if not, I don't know what there would be to say other than really basic things like Go Away, I'm hungry, You're food, F*ck you, etc.

[chrisrobbins2012]

i imagined themw anting to f-ck as they have so much sexual tension.i imaged andy confessing he wants to be closer to lauren and saying but he knows he can't have her but lauren telling him who says he can't have her and they become their great grandparents in more ways than one.

The Gifted

Lauren x Andy - 2x16 OMens

Part 1 / 3

[taurustwister]

LAST UPDATED: SEPTEMBER 6TH, 2024.

ke huy quan - finding o’hana, eeato, abc, loki

jane fonda- moving on, 8b, book club, g&f

dan levy- happiest season

sarah kendall- radio interviews, the other one, taskmaster/coc3, game shows (guessable, rohouse of games, weakest link, wity, spicks & specs, question team), things you should have done, motherland, big zuu's big eats, frayed + bloopers + interviews, comedy shows, beehive (2008)?

ava capri- embattled, blast beat, fletcher's mv, do revenge, love victor, reply, the experience, interviews?

james lance- ted lasso, winx

oona chaplin- interviews, made to love, molotov jukebox's "neon lights" vid, treason, lullaby, anchor and hope

lauren graham- gg, mighty ducks, evan almighty, dinner takes it all, merry friggin christmas, zoey's ep, parenthood

alexis bledel- gg, handmaid's tale

melissa mccarthy- gg, mike & molly

jessica gunning- the outlaws, baby reindeer, interviews, pride, ps: tennison,

lisa ann walter - bitter trailer, the ladies, greys, 911, doubt, psycho st, the more things change clips, jersey, parent trap, ae s2, glow

jenna fischer- mean girls + int, the office, splitting up together

zoe perry- young sheldon

liza weil- the cleaning lady, htgawm, gg + revival, the passenger

natalia tena- i love you stupid, interviews, john wick4, hp, anchor and hope, wolfe, wisdom of the crowd, molotov jukebox vids, 10.000km

kathryn hahn- I love d*ck, happyish, I know this must is true, transparent, tiny beautiful things, mrs fletcher, private life, bad words, the shrink next door, flower, parks and rec

lily rabe- ahs, tell me your secrets, shrinking, fractured, downtown owl, the veil, letters from the big man, redemption trail, golden exits, presumed innocent, the great lillian hall, the tender bar, pawn sacrifice, a midsummer night's dream, the wizard of lies

hamish linklater- tell me your secrets, redemption trail, downtown owl, a midsummer night's dream

vera farmiga- hawkeye, at middleton, higher ground, boundaries,

neve campbell- hot air, pof5, lincoln lawyer

lance barber- young sheldon

charlotte ritchie- ghosts, taskmaster, the other one, wonka, feel good, you

catherine tate - doctor who 2023

david tennant- doctor who 2023

rosie jones- taskmaster

lucia keskin- things you should have done, mandy

diane morgan- frayed, cunk on earth,

sean astin- st

scott patterson- sullivan's crossing, gg, saw

elaine hendrix - parent trap, dynasty

poorna jaganathan- nsie, i'll show you mine, the out-laws

jovan bridges/yvie oddly- interviews

abby elliott- the bear

matty matheson- the bear

sarah paulson- the bears2

angela kinsey- the office, tall girl 1 & 2

amy ryan- the office, omitb, beau is afraid, beautiful boy

gaby hoffmann - finish cmon cmon and transparent

nick offerman- parks & rec

rashida jones- the office, parks & rec, angie tribeca

ellie kemper- the office, bridesmaids, kimmy s, happiness for beginners

kristen bell- the good place, the woman in the house across the street

winona ryder- gone in the night

lily tomlin- grandma, 80b, moving on, g&f

katee sackhoff- christmas sail

rainn wilson- the office, mom, jerry and marge go large

dolly parton- g&f

rakhee thakrar- rules of the game 

craig robinson- the office, killing it

andie mcdowell- maid

rita moreno- 8b, west side story, x fast and furious

sally field- 8b, spoiler alert

janelle james- ae s1 & s2

william stanford davis-  ae s1 & s2

sheryl lee ralph-  ae s1 & s2

tyler james williams-  ae s2

quinta brunson-  ae s2

courteney cox- shining vale

kelly mccormack - sugar daddy, aloto, ginny and georgia

keiko agena- gg, prodigal son

martin short- omitb

steve martin- omitb

mae martin- feel good

meryl streep- omitbs3

cristo fernandez- interviews

nick mohammed- ted lasso, taskmaster

~~~

michaela mcmanus- the village*

toni collette- mafia mama, knives out, hereditary*

elizabeth mitchell- sc films*

jodi balfour- ted lasso*

smg- do revenge*

[fightinglaffy]

~Right after Benedict Arnold's betrayal~

Washington: I need to be alone.

Tallmadge: Yes, Sir.

Hamilton: Yessir.

Laurens: Aye, Sir.

Lafayette: Oui, Général.

Washington: No, not you. You don't count.

Lafayette: :'(

Washington: In the best way.

Lafayette: :) <3