#existed and i promise that's not what makes someone evil or whatever

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: ANBU ROOT

It only feels right to make my ROOT list now since I posted my ANBU fic list! Similarly to the shadow corps, ROOT had so much wasted potential it actually saddens me. Kishimoto had so many great ideas in Naruto that he just never fully fleshed out and it's a shame. One thing in specific is the whole Torune and Shino situation. Two words: wasted potential!!! It could've been so good and really developed on Shino (and the Aburame clan).

Anyway, once again since our knowledge on the stories and workings of ROOT are limited, this allows for some pretty interesting interpretations. Also, I actually saw an interesting comment the other day about how Sakura would've been a good candidate for the program because of her chakra control and lack of family influence in Konoha and I honestly have to agree. I might be a bit biased, but whatever. Enjoy some root!Sakura recs!

Also, try out my ANBU list (some overlap).

Started: 2024.08.13

Last Updated: 2024.12.19

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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The Small Postures - Celenier || ao3 || T || kakasaku || canon divergence || incomplete

Sakura acts as a spy for Tsunade when Danzo takes an interest in her. While earning her place in ANBU Root, she discovers her own path to greatness. She learns grim secrets about how her village operates, makes terrible enemies, and begins to appreciate the extent of her fractured personality.

The Small Postures was oddly disturbing to me... After Shikamaru is approached for ROOT, it's decided by the higher ups that someone more expendable should infiltrate to take the division down. Sakura is the chosen one, but at what cost? With Kakashi acting as her contact and her only confidant on the matter, how will this affect their relationship? Truth be told, I haven't gotten far enough for any sort of romance, so I have no comments there, but this fic is very well written and quite ominous at times.

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Black Bough - Re_Adrienne || ao3 || unrated || kakasakusai || root AU || ongoing

Sakura's parents are civilians.

It does not spare them.

In which Sakura forgets, Sai pretends, and Kakashi can't tell if he's failing the mission.

I really love this fic! Sakura joins ROOT just before her graduation after her parent's death and it's there she meets Sai. Years later the two of them are extracted by Kakashi and she is put under his watch as she readjusts. Part of the struggle is the known fact that she was supposed to be a member of Team 7, which causes some drama (?). There's some super interesting ROOT lore going on and I always have a soft spot for Sai and Sakura friendships!!

Edit: The author has changed the tags and this now seems like it will be a kakasakusai fic.

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Five Kingdoms for the Dead - Evil Is A Relative Term || ffn || M || canon divergence || complete

After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

It's been a hot minute since I've read Five Kingdoms for the Dead, but I'm fairly certain there is some ROOT stuff going on in here! Nonetheless, this is a great fic with some really interesting worldbuilding.

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Trials of Change - Espoiretreves || ao3 || gen || time travel AU || complete

Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life. Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War. Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.

Trials of Change is actually apart of a time travel series and I have to say that it is probably one of the best of the genre! This fic is the first of a series and the main focus is ROOT and taking down Danzo. I really adore all of the worldbuilding and backstories going on here in addition to the fact that there are breaks. Yes, the story keeps moving, but there are other things going on, like playdates, and not just Sakura trying to save the world. Also, if you love Shisui then definitely check this out since he has a huge role and his and Sakura's friendship is just so precious.

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cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || incomplete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Such a unique take on a time travel AU and Cut the Head Off the Snake executes it perfectly. Sakura decides that her first order of business is to infiltrate ROOT and that's exactly what she does. Sai, Shin, and Shisui are all great characters and team Ro is present as well. Very good!

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In Another World - eleventheeggo || ao3 || gen || T || orphan Sakura AU || ongoing

What if Sakura was an orphan instead of Naruto and Sasuke?A story about a socially stunted girl who has a thirst for knowledge and is surrounded by softies who love her all the same.

Orphan!Sakura is not something I knew I needed in my life! She is so precious and it's great to watch all of these characters come together for her sake. In Another World also discusses ROOT a bit, which you know I love, so I can't wait for the story to get there.

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Rooted - theRazorofOccam || ffn || T || gen || canon divergence || incomplete

In a universe where Sakura takes a wrong turn, she misses out on the apprenticeship with Tsunade, instead getting recruited by a very different mentor. Life turns out very differently from there on, as she takes the path of a very different kind of ninja. Updates on weekends, unless otherwise stated.

I can't remember too much, but it occurs during the time skip between og and shippuden. At a loss of what to do after her rejection from Tsunade, Sakura decides to join Danzo's program with hopes of becoming a better shinobi.

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parsley seed goes nine times to the devil - Mook_aron || ao3 || M || gen || root AU || one-shot complete

Slow to grow, quick to sprout, parsley seed goes nine times to the devil When she’s six, a man murders her family. The man is tall, and his features are burned into her mind. She won’t forget him- she won’t let herself forget him. Root Sakura au

Sakura is taken into ROOT at a young age and is assigned a mission to infiltrate team 7. Spoilers ig, but Sakura ends up telling Kakashi and what happens from there is sorta open ended. Great story

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I Watched a Change in You - YuffiesNinjaInsanity || ao3 || unrated || narusaku || time travel AU || ongoing

Naruto’s lying across from her, still bleeding out and with his lifeless blue eyes staring at her.

“It’s’kay, Naru.. be joining… you both soon.” She croaks.

Sakura gets sent back in time to a universe where everything is peaceful? She comes from a place where after Danzo's succession to the Hokage title, everyone is ordered to take up ROOT training and so adjusting back to a normal team proves difficult. Pretty good.

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Hang Them Up (To Make Them Bleed) - classical_mess || ao3 || T || gen || root AU || one-shot complete

Sakura always used to think a lot of her career as a ninja, but she never thought she'd up here.

Fairly interesting one-shot where Sakura is recruited by Danzo after getting rejected as Tsunade's student. She spends some time in ROOT and Kiba helps her get out. This is on the moments leading up to Danzo's trial. I also quite liked how Tenten was helping out with the seal.

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Sakura - lilac haze || ffn/ao3 || M || minasaku || time travel AU || complete

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

I cannot believe that I forgot to add this fic when I initially published my ROOT list!!! Anyway, really good time travel fic with a doomed romance between Minato and Sakura. You watch them, well, Sakura, grow from a young child to an adult and all of the trouble and tragedy that comes her way. Pretty interesting and dark ROOT stuff going on in here.

Check TWs before hand!!

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Anyway, that's all for now!

[listslistslists]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕖𝕤𝕥

a collection of lines from the novel Wicked by Gregory Maguire, use as you wish, adjust as needed

Don’t go feeling sympathetic now. I certainly can’t

No one is exempt from grief.

Since when did you ever know your place or keep it, either?

Punishment for your wicked ways, you hedonist.

What the devil do you mean with your riddles and your games?

You cast a shadow if you sit there.

I don’t wear pretty things.

Oh, you terrible mean thing, you’re pretty.

I don’t read very well. SO I don’t think I think very well either. I dress to kill, though.

Does evil exist?

Why ever would a girl be interested in evil?

I wouldn’t know an evil thing if it fell on me.

I am about to sleep, because this is profoundly boring to me.

Well, my stars and garters, a visitor. Such a surprise.

I’m glad I didn’t leave, this is getting good.

It’s the age of daring. We must live in the present. We are young and alive.

Were you born to plague me?

I believe I have been set up to be mortified. I am being humiliated for sport.

She is my world.

Your world is too small if she is it.

Gossip is instructive. It tells which way the wind is blowing.

Settle down, you’re making him mad.

I do not listen to anyone who uses the word immoral.

I’m going to take my leave now while I’m still alive.

Do you even know the meaning of the word pawn?

I have always felt like a pawn.

I won’t lie to you, my dear.

Hold out, my sweet.

You’re making me into a monster.

I’m not as dumb as I act.

I’m not going and you can’t make me.

You wicked woman, you have bewitched me again.

What is there in my life worth preserving?

I love you. So I promise to be careful.

Love makes monsters of us all.

The choice to save yourself can itself be deadly.

Is life worth living in the wrong form?

By your own admission, you have a job to do.

Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others.

No one controls your destiny.

Human feeling, will you look at that. I wouldn’t have guessed you capable.

I’m just not going to die and nobody can make me.

They’re calling you a witch, do you know that?

I don’t think I want to hear about this.

I’ll set you afire and that’ll be the end of it.

I hope you choke.

I can make no comment on the souls of others.

I pray a lot. Not terribly genuinely, I admit, but I try.

Is it possible we could be living our entire lives under someone’s spell?

That farce, that melodrama, how could I forget it?

You should not trust my promise.

I may be kindly disposed to think about what you have said. But I do not bargain.

I think you are a very bad wizard.

As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it?

However did you get in here without being announced?

Why is my life so plagued?

You smell of blood.

Am I good for nothing in this life?

Everybody needs to grow up and leave home sometimes, but sometimes home doesn't like it.

You were never my friend.

No one controls your destiny. Even at the very worst - there is always a choice.

I think it improper to talk about evil all during a meal. It spoils the digestion.

I killed someone today, I can kill you too.

I was only a witness. I was not really alive then.

I don’t want to be saved.

Don’t embarrass yourself and me with this charade of courage.

Whatever my faults, I don’t deserve this.

With a soul there is everlastingness, and life has tortured me enough.

Will this nightmare never end?

[utilitycaster]

look I'm not doing this on purpose (I mean I am choosing to make the posts but I am not deliberately seeking this out nor imo reaching) but: some choice bits from WBN Fireside for episode 39, this statement continues to apply, I've tried to redact spoilers (and also this is a pretty old episode as I myself am quite behind) but no promises.

Regarding portraying xenophobia towards a character (question for Brennan as the DM; some spoilers for like, the premise of the campaign)

Brennan: No, these guys are, well, there's an interesting— there's obviously a clear line that— how do I put it? There's a needle to be threaded here because I think that when you're telling a story about good and evil, there's evil. And this is evil. There's a type of evil here in the world. And specifically, too, conversations around lines and veils are really important, conversations about what people want to see versus what they don't want to see. And I think for Eursulon, we have seen this world that produced Eursulon's incredibly hard life. That story cannot exist without people like these Imperial soldiers existing in the world...

But you get into, I think, a weird position if you don't have some moments like this, which is what in improv you would call a negation of Eursulon's premise and the premise of his story. Eursulon's story says being a spirit, wayshadowed in the world of Umora since childhood, has been uniquely hard. And if every single character we meet is completely enlightened as to the place of spirits in the world, I have made Lou's story nonsense. It's not true anymore. And so I think that there was an element of this moment.

Regarding ideology and some extended discussion of said xenophobic characters, as well as ideology, emphasis mine

Brennan: And in my head I'm like, we all have felt like an underdog, and we've all felt like an outcast at certain points. And I looked at [12 year old kid eating alone at LARP camp] and I was like, "Are you enjoying the week so far?" And he looked up at me and he went, "All the girls at this camp are SLUTS!" [all gasp in shock and crack up] OH! Ohhhhhhh. There you go. You're alone cuz you're bad. You're alone cuz you're bad! You're pissing people off because you're bad. 12 is not old, but it ain't that young. You're alienating people with your bad personality, and you have to fix this really fast, man. T minus a few years to get this under wraps before this is the rest of your life, and you join a political party about it. In any case, I feel like that was Ame three or four times this episode. Being like, Hey there little buddy, are you having a hard time? And the little buddy being like, I am an avowed authoritarian! Her going, What?! [laughs] Or whatever it is. You have those moments where in talking to that kid, I went, oh the most convenient thing for my ideology is that every sad, lonely little kid is an innocent underdog who has been unfairly maligned. Not that some of them are hateful and are being outcast quite reasonably by people who don't want to suffer their abuse.

And then on the flip side of that, with Ame where— I keep bringing back these real-world examples. I remember the first time I got put on grand jury duty as someone who is against the carceral state, someone who's against for-profit prisons. And I was strapped in, I was ready for the voir dire. I was strapped in, baby. And then I got on a grand jury where there's no voir dire. And then I was like, I'll tell you right now, if there's a non-violent drug case, I don't care what evidence you present. I am philosophically— and then the very first case that came up was one of the most gruesome cases of domestic abuse I have ever seen. And you're sitting there going, oh this will challenge your ideology, where you're sitting there and being like, I know what I know, but this doesn't… And again, I keep bringing up convenience. There's that part in a kind of coming of age of taking your ideology into the real world where a sad little voice goes, it would have been more convenient for me if this were all non-violent drug cases! That would have made this much easier for me to— It’s really that thing where it's not that you abandon all of your ideals, but for Ame it's a question of, to bring it back, it reflects what Mirara said in her criticism of Grandmother Wren. Grandmother Wren kept her symbol a rolling pin as the world of people increasingly became boots marching to war. What is the world you claim to speak for and represent? And are you comfortable with the truth of your world?

Regarding DM structuring the situation to hint properly to the players:

Brennan:

Because sometimes as a DM, if things are too sweet, they will be rejected out of it. It's like the thing in The Matrix where we made a utopia and the humans rejected it. That does happen in TTRPGs. But so I was trying to be like, no the farmers are kind to you and seem to be extremely parochial, which has its own threats and sadnesses to it, given the far-flung places from which you all hail... It was very funny. It was funny to watch. I was looking back and I was like, oh that's why I made there be a lot of little flies in the ointment, was also to be like, you can rest here, but there are some things that are not great.

(also once again I recommend listening to this if you follow WBN but aren't a patron; Aabria has some really great thoughts on Suvi and Silver and why Suvi and Ame's ideologies clash that require too much context to post here.)

[forthevillains]

Careful who you marry

Albert Wesker X fem! Reader

(I just love the idea of Wesker going soft, but also panicking after finding someone who genuinely cares for him)

Albert Wesker, the man people fear, the man responsible for countless of deaths, the cold blooded bioterrorist known to the world as pure evil. Though what if he had a cute little wife to hide? What if all that facade would go away the second he gets home and sees his precious darling.

Wesker isn’t the one to make his emotions clear, he’s not the one to love and on top of that, he thought that he wasn’t able to feel any emotion at all. He was never loved by anyone nor has he ever felt the emotion towards another human being. All he’s ever had was his sister and William Birkin, his only friend.

That though, changed once he met you. You, his loving wife, you who always listened to him, no matter what it was, no matter that you barely understood a word he was saying. You who always saw the better in him, the good side that no one thought existed at all. He was living his life, worried about the new world, worried about survival of his test subjects, worried about the future… But once you came in - he was suddenly worried of disappointing you much more.

You may have fallen for him first, but he definitely fell a lot harder. It was difficult for him, dealing with the sudden emotions, not knowing what is he to do, how to handle such situation. He would ignore you at first, distance himself even, wanting nothing more than to get rid off you and that addicting voice of yours that stayed in his head for days after talking to you.

That poor guy… Of course you didn’t leave. You insisted on being by his side, he was just a helpless soul, abandoned and left to die alone. It was difficult to keep up with him, especially for you, someone who’s still young, inexperienced, with the whole life ahead of you, but you managed it anyway.

Wesker loved you dearly, wanting nothing more than to protect you from the corrupted world, from the terror, from all the people that wanted him dead. Your innocence was something he promised himself to keep for you. He would never forgive himself if he ruined your life, he would never forgive himself if you hated to be by his side, if you hated him. Never in his life has he been this way and there’s still a part of him that is unsure of the decision, but whenever he thinks of a life without you - he realizes that he’d be better off dead.

On the other hand, he really tries for you, he’d even go as far as to tell you that he loves you, though it sure took a lot of time for him to find the nerves to say it out loud. And when he says it - he means it. Albert would surely spoil you, making up for all the time you have to spend alone, basically locked up while he works so that no one could hurt you. Whatever you want is yours, no matter how much it costs - he’s gonna buy it for you. When he comes to you by the midnight only to find you awake and waiting for him, there’s a small smile tugging at his lips at the realization of how much you missed him. He makes sure to wrap his arms around you tightly, planting small kisses in your hair as he squeezes your small form gently. You’ve created a home for him, something he loves to come back to at the end of the day. You’ve become his comfort, something he wasn’t used to and didn’t know he needed.

If Chris was about to find out about you, he’d be marked as dead. Immediately. Albert would be too concerned about losing you, about Chris telling you all about their past, about the terrible things he’s done and he can’t let that happen. No matter the good intentions he’s created in his own mind, he knows that you wouldn’t understand. And he can’t risk scaring you off now that the two of you have come this far. You’re stuck with him, loved by only him, protected from all the world’s wrongs, while your loving husband gets more and more blood on his hands just for you. It’s love after all isn’t it? A true husband would kill for his wife, right? He isn’t doing anything wrong… Though he’ll keep it away from you anyway, just in case. He tries so hard for you it’s making him look crazy:(

Just hope that you won’t want to get away from him, because he’s not letting you go, not after all he’s done for you, he’s gonna make sure of it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Jumba (2025)

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So. Lilo & Stitch 2025. The live action remake of the beloved animated classic. It’s… honestly not completely awful.

Now, don’t get me wrong here, it’s not amazing or anything, but aside from the terrible ending that misses the whole goddamn point of the story it’s a so-so family film that has a genuinely great cast who is giving it their all. Chris Sanders is as good as ever as Stitch (aside from the times where they awkwardly reuse audio from the original), but it’s honestly the rest of the cast that make this work. Courtney B. Vance (Cobra Bubbles), Sydney Agudong (Nani), Amy Hill (Tutu), Tia Carrere (Mrs. Kekoa), Kaipo Dudoit (David), Hannah Waddingham (Grand Councilwoman), and Billy Magnussen (Pleakley) all turn in fantastic performances, but most important of all is Maia Kealoha as Lilo. She is genunely amazing, one of the best child performances I’ve ever seen; she feels more like a real kid than the animated Lilo did a lot of the time, and while she is forced to regurgitate a few classic lines she makes the character her own while still staying true to the original to the point I'd say she carries this film . Whatever faults the film has—and it has a lot—the cast mostly manages to make it work in spite of them.

Of course, you may have noticed that one member of the cast and thus one major character are completely absent from my praise above: Zach Galifianakis as Jumba. But I promise you, I kept him separate for a very, very good reason: He is so fucking awful he brings down the entire film whenever he’s onscreen.

Motivation/Goals: Jumba’s motivations are largely the same from the original. He’s a mad scientist who wants his experiment back, and barters for freedom in exchange for recapturing Stitch. Of course, this initial characterization isn’t what makes Jumba such a beloved character, it’s how he develops beyond that and becomes a quirky gay alien uncle who does wacky “evil” science experiments. How does this work in the remake? Well… It doesn’t! Because Gantu just straight up doesn’t exist, Jumba takes on his role as an antagonistic force in the climax and is wholly without a sympathetic trait. In fact, he wants to mutate Stitch into 627 (the very same one from the animated show, judging from the silhouette on his computer).

To say this is a downgrade is an understatement. The whole entire point of the character is that there is more to him than simply what was on the surface, that he had nuance. By stripping all that away to make him a generic mad scientist, they’ve honestly made him more flat and cartoonish than the literal cartoon.

Performance: As soon as Jumba opens his mouth and the completely unaltered voice of Galifianakis comes out, it is clear that you’re in for a fucking trainwreck. Look, I don’t hate the guy or anything, but he does not have the vocal range to play a character like this who needs an imposing and preferably Russian-accented voice. You need someone like Keith David or Clancy Brown, someone who can be both goofy and imposing; you can’t have this hulking, ugly alien have a goofy little guy voice. I think what’s even worse is that with the changes to Jumba’s character, he has no camaraderie with Pleakley, no affection at all, so we don’t get to see Galifianakis ramp up the homoeroticism like he did with Lego Joker. Literally the one saving grace his performance could have had, the one thing that might’ve saved this take on the character, and they just throw it away.

Final Fate: He falls out of the plane and is embarrassingly and unceremoniously arrested. Woo hoo.

Evilness: Let’s be real here: This ain’t Jumba, this is Dr. Hamsterwheel.

“It’s Hämster-viel! VIEL! NOT WHEEL!”

Right, sorry. Anyway, seeing as he has no redeeming qualities and just wants to recapture Stitch and turn him into a weapon of mass destruction, he has far more in common with the rascally rodent from the TV series than the character he ostensibly is. And that would at least score him a 3, but then there’s the scene where he goes off on humans having attachments and memories as he obliterates Lilo’s house, callously destroying all the photos of her family that she has and generally wrecking the place. That alone scores him a 4/5. What a prick.

Final Thoughts & Score: Alan Moore and Garth Ennis are cheering and pumping their fists in the air right now, because their villains have been completely and totally dethroned: Remake Jumba is the absolute worst villain I have ever seen in my entire life.

Maybe in a vacuum this Jumba isn’t a bad villain, but does it look like I live in a fucking vacuum? No, I live in the real world, and in that world I already have a Jumba who is a silly old queer who likes to create his own Pokemon and go out with his crossdressing boyfriend. What this movie gave me is an ugly CGI potato with an unfitting, dorky voice committing bland acts of evil and trying to tell me it’s the same guy. I already thought this remake was a bad idea and wholly unnecessary, and while plenty of it managed to win me over, I’ve gotta say how genuinely awful Jumba is almost completely tanked the whole film for me.

I think it stands out even more because Pleakley is actually great. Pleakley is as flamboyant and queer as ever, despite Disney’s best efforts to squash that (no crossdressing, boo). Was this the compromise? Was Pleakley only allowed to be campy if all the chemistry with Jumba was excised? It’s so fucking dumb. It’s just so goddamn fucking dumb.

And really, the fact Jumba is so bland and one-note leaves me little to really say about him. He’s a cardboard cutout, which normally wouldn’t attract so much ire for me or even warrant a Psycho Analysis at all, but this is a take on one of Disney’s very best characters voiced by one of their late, great reoccurring voice actors. And not only is he bad compared to Pleakley, he’s bad compared to everyone! All the other recast characters are at worst okay and at best blow their voice actors out of the water! Jumba is genuinely the only fucking one I hated! Hell, I don’t hate the awful ending where Nani loses custody as much as Jumba, because at least there they throw in a bunch of bullshit so they can have their gritty, realistic, Zack Snyder’s Lilo & Stitch ending while still not really separating the sisters! Jumba is just irrevocably ruined to the point where even if they do make a sequel—and they probably will—I can’t see how they can even begin to rerail or save him. And it’s not even because he goes beyond the pale, it’s because he’’s just a big sucky nothing now! They fucked it all up!

I’m giving this Jumba a -/10. What does that mean, exactly? It means there isn’t a number small enough in existence to accurately describe how utterly shit this butchering of a beloved character is. I’ll take stupid powerscaling zombie wank or Harry Potter dick lightning over this shit any day of the week.

[cephalon-celaeno]

update i REALLY didn’t like this quest. it’s just that usually i consider warframe to be a game with extremely competent writing and this is… hmm. not.

huh! I already knew I wouldn’t like this quest so my opinion doesn’t count but I don’t like this quest!

[kaddyssammlung]

This is a response to the anon that posted to “Sleep Token confessions” about Vessel, Sleep, abuse and trauma. (link to the post)

Was a bit too much to put this into the rebloggs so I made a post.

I continue under the cut. TW: abuse

I guess I will never fully understand this until Vessel explains it. There are a few things that maybe don't make sense or fans just interpret the wrong way or maybe whoever gave that interview did not tell the truth.

What always gets to me is “....with promise of glory and magnificence if Vessel followed him” In other words “do what I tell you and then great things will happen”

In my opinion that's giving up all your power. When you agree to something like that you set yourself up for not so great things. You depend on someone or in that case something (or however you want to refer to Sleep). You give up all your power.

I think this is really weird. I mean saying this in an interview like that "....great things will happen if...."

To me this always gave me a knot in my stomach when I read this and it still does.

Evil things or beings don't present themselves as evil to you. They come in and say “I'm archangel this and that and if you do this and that then something great will happen...”. I talked about those creatures a while back. They do exist in my perception

I think this was a situation that Vessel was in?! I mean with a creature like that?! An entity....something that had bad inentions and Vessel gave up all of his power until he realized what was actually going on.

The sad thing: he did not believe that he had enough power to become a successful musician.

And also he set himself up for abuse. And you only do this when you are used to it. It's like jumping into a relationship with someone who is really bad for you.

I've been there...many times.

I did not recognize abuse as such (neither me being the one doing it nor the one receiving it....I love BPD so damn much...the things....sometimes I....whatever)

And fans romanticizing over all of this...well they either don't get the lyrics or see them in a different way or they are survivors of abuse themselves and think by romanticizing abuse they gain power over the situation. So....

idk...I feel for them. All of them...I get it. I get both sides of abuse...I have this “I do anything...I make you stay...I swear I make you stay. Please don't leave me....I never find someone better then you. I'm nothing without you. You can hurt me as much as you like....to me you are still perfect” in me (=BPD)...or had it in me.

I really understand but also I don't think it's okay to romanticize abuse.

I'm very aware of how awful I used to behave a few years back.....I've been single for the past 10 years. I don't want to do be awful to anyone ever again until I fully faced myself and my demons.

All of this is just my opinion. We all don't know what really happened.

[chuelectrico20]

@redlikerosesandflowers and others who asked

Well first off, why the relationship between emeralds and super forms is so different between continuities is their settings and that's important to first dive into before talking specifically about movie sonics relationship. In general the chaos emeralds hold unlimited power in granting users power ups, turning thoughts into reality. In the games specifically Sonic goes super because the emeralds respond to his positive thoughts turning into positive energy and in turn becoming Super Sonic. Super forms in general, going Super anyone can do with all 7 chaos emeralds or if someone already super shares energy with other living beings to turn them too.

Onto Sonic going Super throughout different continuities, it stays relatively the same (Sonic Boom it isn't clear if such powers exist since the emeralds don't exist here) find the chaos emeralds or anything adjacent to them or their power and go super easy formula. Now what about when a super form is inherently negative instead, only in two continuities do we see that Dark Sonic and Fleetway Sonic. Dark Sonic is from Sonic negative thoughts being influenced by the fake chaos emeralds and Fleetway is caused from moments of extreme stress or chaos energy.

After all that setup, we're at movie Sonic relation with his Super form, in the movieverse our characters comparably know less about well everything. The Master Emerald was even considered a fairytale for a while. They don't have many allies on Earth (GUN would betray them no matter what), deal with bounty hunters, and all the alien kids are well KIDS even if they're inherently more powerful than the average human they're just kids trying to do what they think is right at the end of the day and that goes especially for Sonic. Sonic doesn’t have a natural handle of his powers compared to his other counterparts, his chaos energy is so great it appears in him naturally not like Knuckles who trained his to be on a higher level or Tails who uses his gadgets. When Sonic first goes super it wasn’t willingly, he thought he was in his last moments with his parents by his side the chaos emeralds reacted to that love he felt for them in that moment. Afterwards defeating Eggman when Maddie and Tom tried to hug him in this form Sonic states: "it’s a good thing we didn’t do this before or you would’ve blown up" funny, yes, but that also shows how he doesn’t have a full grasp of this form. After all he’s got a lot of growing up still to do. Funny enough in the movies they refer to it as golden god mode, and such they made a promise to not use the master emerald being that it’s way too powerful to be in anyone’s hands. So to movie Sonic specifically he doesn’t view it in a positive light as much as game Sonic, i.e. he doesn’t even trust himself with said power either. It’s all so new to him and everyone around him, so there’s no clear answer to Sonic on how he should treat this access to power that was granted to him. Then in movie 3 it shows that the emerald has sort of a connection with Sonic, in his emotional state greatly effects his golden mode and its how Shadow also gains the emeralds power both by their heightened emotional state. Then at the moon before Sonic completely loses himself he realizes this isn’t who he is, and with his talk with Shadow their feelings on wanting to save the earth power both of them up.

To summarize this all, in my opinion movie Sonic and his super form is more in line with his development as a character rather than an achievement or goal post like in the games (which makes sense it’s literally a video game franchise) it’s not the prize or a narrative plot coupon, there’s no inherent good or bad with said power this time around it’s whatever Sonic and by extension any other character is feeling and thus placing its theme of responsibility and choices in line with it. So that’s why me personally I don’t care for any "evil" or "dark" super power up because it’s not the powers that are the focus but characters emotions and autonomy with what they do with said powers.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

New tawog headcanons because I have nothing to do

Leave me be

They'll never stop

- once gumball tried cheerleading with penny (this time without embarrassing himself to the judges) but honestly all he could do was jump higher than her.

He can fold like paper and yet he can't do what she can do

Unless he's stuck somewhere, because then he'd be doing backflips.

- penny and gumball met at the park actually. When they were little.

penny liked to read, instead of playing with gross and chaotic children, and gumball..just didn't like people lol

he did enjoy climbing stuff and play around but he usually left the socializing part to Darwin.

So, gumball had nothing to do so he sat down next to penny on a bench, because he was waiting for Darwin, and she was quiet so he didn't mind sitting there.

they had a small talk but nothing too big, they became small friends, then met again in middle school.

- Darwin wasn't allowed in the park for a while because he traumatized a bunch of kids before (accidentally.)

- gumball promised to not become sappy and corny like everyone whenever they got a partner but he very much failed.

- if gumball gets asked who would he want to kiss, I'd be penny, if penny wasn't an option he'd say Tobias or something

Or himself

- we all know gumball is a jealous cat, and you bet he stares down and plans multiple ways of killing whatever boy that talks to penny that he isn't sure won't try and steal her. heck he's so jealous he even tried it with Darwin!

penny has to stop him because last time it was a spirit of jealousy, this time it's gumball being clinically insane and jealous. Bad combo.

- gumball is scared of tiny spiders but he could potentially (and probably already did) pick a fist fight with a bear or a crocodile, or both.

You know those cats who chase bigger animals and those bigger guys are scared and run away? Gumball.

- Darwin is the one who pays, gumball is the one who freeloads (he has the money but doesn't wanna spend them.)

- gumball was exactly like Anais when he was 4-5, aside from Darwin he had no friends whatsoever. But it's not because no one wanted to talk to him, it's because he didn't wanna talk to anyone.

- gumball thinks Anais just needs a little bit of time to get a friend, her situation is weird and he knows that, a 4 year old around 10-12 year olds is tough but soon she'll meet someone, he's sure.

- penny likes games like animal crossing, gumball is more for the resident evil,bendy and the ink machine, amnesia, stuff like that.

but, gumball did install animal crossing (cracked because he refused to pay anything) just so penny is happy with taking care of her and his island (she makes matching and cute couple stuff, stuff like that)

- gumball talks so much about rob because he knows that if he doesn't keep reminding everyone that he exists, he'll be back in the void. And gumball feels bad about that so he tries to avoid that as much as he can.

- Darwin has to pay to watch films, games and stuff like that because then he feels bad. Gumball embraced fully the illegal sites to install games and watch films.

- gumball can speak french. And he tends to use British words rather than American ones (like biscuit or pavement.)

This is a reference to the fact that the Wattersons are a caricature of the creator of the show Ben Bocquelet and his family, and Ben is a british-french animator and director.

- gumball's favorite thing at the park is the swing, he constantly wishes for people's downfall if they come in before him to use the swing.

Darwin likes to play with sand \^_^/!

- gumball is an introvert and doesn't like going first to talk to someone, but since Darwin is too shy for it, he forces himself to go and start a convo or ask for something.

- penny was the one who talked first to gumball, if it wasn't for her getting the courage to speak to her crush, gumball wouldn't even know she existed. (Now he's down bad for her.)

- penny and gumballs dates consists on playing videogames or eating at joyful burger. They are not romantic ever

- Darwin and Carrie ARE big romantics, super romantic dates forever

Literally you can see them with flowers at the fancy ass restaurant and the super expensive clothes and gifts

- gumball when he was wayyy younger, back when he was 4-5, he scared his parents way too much.

It was because of him being aware, so he was just odd for people, but sometimes his mother just thought he was hallucinating or something.

Darwin just found it funny, but there were moments where gumball was mad scary because he sounded frickin insane.

Y'know, imagine your kid talking about being watched by an imaginary audience.

- Richard does dad jokes. Only gumball laughs at them. In return, gumball does them to Darwin.

- Richard was a pretty fun dad, he made jokes, fun games and he somewhat managed to take care of gumball and his craziness.

He's still like that, he just sleeps way more. (Much to gumball's liking.)

- Anais Is a daddy's girl. Gumball is a mom's boy (not in the toxic sense.) and Darwin is a mix of both.

-

Gumball: you're killing my tough guy personality

Penny: who's a good kitty?

Gumball: meeeeee :3

- if gumball gets too quiet he's either plotting or he's going to scream because he's too overwhelmed by people and noises. Usually the tail and ears give it away.

- penny has a very very ugly laugh. Like yeah she's gonna be loud and snort, will sound like a pig eating

Gumball doesn't mind anymore, at first it simply scared him because he would randomly hear a snort

- gumball's Saturdays consist of sunbathing all day.

- Penny's a peanut and Leslie is a flower. How is that? Especially since they are cousins.

Both flowers and peanuts grow on the ground. And for sure either Leslie's mom or dad is one of Penny's parents sibling

So let's go with, let's say. Patrick.

Patrick is a peanut, and so is Leslie's dad. their father, or mother, if not both, were flowers! (Because peanut plants do have a flower!!!)

Patrick went with another peanut, and so he had two other peanuts

Leslie's father went with a flower, and grew a flower!

(though, I'm assuming they planted different seeds. Because if they planted the same seed, Leslie would have been also a peanut. So, I imagine Leslie's mom was "infertile" and so "adopted" or had a surrogate to "give birth" [planting another seed] to her child, which was leslie. A flower.)

((yes mammals give birth, birds lay eggs, so do fish and I imagine the objects or plant directly plant the seed of their kid or ""create"" their child like the toast kid. Forgot his name, sorry HAHAH.))

- Anais and gumball are both bunnies and cats. They are a mix.

Gumball has some slight traits and behaviors of a bunny, but he's like 99% cat and 1% bunny.

Same goes for Anais.

(technically there's some rat genes around too.)

- gumball is definitely that cat that has beef with every other cat in the neighborhood

- gumball is down bad but penny is down bad harder

- people keep saying they see clear similarities between gumball and Nicole, and gumball doesn't understand if it's a good thing or not. Because usually when they say that they mean the scary part of his mother.

- Patrick doesn't hate gumball, he was simply scared for his little girl. he was scared his little girl would have ended up being heartbroken, cheated on, or worse, nothing personally against gumball, just some paranoia.

But seeing how happy they are with each other, and how happy gumball makes her, it's not something Patrick is against. As long as his daughter is happy then it's all good.

He's still skeptical about the shell though, but it's nothing about gumball.

- penny and gumball both have a pretty short temper, actually. I guess both took it from one specific parent.

- gumball used to meow loudly at his parents door so they would get up and he could tell them he threw up on the floor. (Occasionally he would do that for Darwin too.)

-

Darwin: gumball no.

Gumball: gumball yes.

Darwin: ...

Gumball: gumball no.

- (these are headcanons I have showed before, but I wanna say them again :3)

Darwin, Richard and Anais are the autism gang 😈🔥

Darwin has the + separation anxiety, and Anais Is also hyper intelligent.

Richard was hit by being babied his entire life and he doesn't have the basics.

gumball has dyslexia and dyscalculia! Along with anxiety (his human version has also amnesia. cat gumball just sleeps 16h a day.)

Nicole has anger issues. And is a workaholic.

- gumball...does not understand kisses. like, the gesture.

And it's kinda weird to do it as well, he usually just puts his face on you and that's it.

He knows it's a way to show affection, so he does it instead of his usual language (because apparently people don't get that him headbutting his own brother isn't beating him up but is actually showing affection) but he still does not get it.

He just. Mimics, per se. he mimics others who do it (like penny to him) because he knows people will get it more than his headbutting.

- penny sometimes looks up documentaries or facts about cats to understand his own boyfriend better

- yes gumball and Nicole drink like actual cats do.

- Tobias probably had some kind of thing going on with ocho. I bet.

- gumball and tina hang out every Friday!!! Sometimes you can see gumball rub himself on Tina's leg.

- gumball bites ice cream.

- Nicole's ex is masami's mom. They dated in middle school, but during the last year Nicole got feelings for Richard.

And..shit happened (nothing too angsty. Nicole and masami's mom just broke up and Nicole then went for Richard.)

Nicole bisexual arc I must say.

- gumball enjoys watching those gacha life videos.

- I did say this before but I'll say it again because it's funny af

gumball did went to that party, did got drunk and did beat the shit our of dream. Next day, all over the news. Everyone was talking about it. Every single kid in Elmore Jr high. The only one who don't know are the parents.

Darwin hates gumball for it because he came back at 3am or something, drunk, telling him the entire story

- gumball is the one who would joke about you being gay (he's gayer.)

-

Leslie: hey, I'm gay

Gumball: you owe me 5 dollars

- gumball likes to be on top of Darwin's head, like that one video of that dude screaming while he has a cat on his head.

-

Tobias: fuck

Gumball: watch your FUCKING language, man! Darwin is here.

Darwin: i

-

[punishedgwyndolin]

I think my biggest issue with the post you made (where you screenshotted medusadyke's post) is like... if dozens or hundreds of gay men On This Website were talking openly about having pedophilic kidnapping fantasies, confessing to engaging with art depicting sexual abuse of minors, finding it erotic & jacking off to it, admitting they wish it could happen in real life, & then in addition to all of that ALSO claiming that those things are innately part of Gay Culture and that it's homophobic to criticize them for it, other gay men would be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT to criticize them for it & condemn the behaviour. That's what's going on with transfems on this website -- as a trans woman, I am seeing COUNTLESS trans women claiming that it's Innately Transfem to indulge your paraphilias (including paraphilias) and encourage them and wish you could act them out in real life, which I think is absolutely deranged and only serves to paint the transfem community at large with a negative brush. We're not just baselessly calling trans women pedophiles for no reason or because we have "internalized transmisogyny" or anything, we're critizing them for 1. engaging in pedophilic behaviour, and 2. conflating pedophilia with transfemininity and claiming it's transmisogynistic to condemn that behaviour. We're just going around doing spooky scary hands at random trans women and claiming they're pedos based on nothing. We're actually -- surprisingly -- specifically motivated by NOT thinking it's normal for trans women to be pedophiles and NOT wanting people to view us that way.

Nope! You have lost the plot. The way society at large sexualizes and sees us as demons is not because of the sparse existence of a few shitty trans women ““indulging their paraphilias””, whatever the hell thats supposed to mean, holy shit lol. And you have to be joking if you want to call this “criticism” when I’ve watched her mutuals move to making up pedo accusations about trans women completely baselessly out of thin air as something to tack into a callout post, this is a bad joke. There are not hundreds or even dozens of trans women genuinely saying this about transfemininity, you are falling face first into your biases that lead you and the rest of society to see innocent trans women as predators by reading the worst out of what one may have said and applying that worst-case reading to other members of her marginalized gender group for no reason aside from their shared gender, which is discrimination, even when you do it to trans women and even when they’re really extra bad ones we promise this time.

The drive to search for and excise this specter of an Actually Evil Tranny is something i watch get used monthly to do fun things like call random innocent women rapist scum or pedophiles for having consensual sex with their adult partner in a way someone else doesnt approve of, for making posts calling video games annoying, or for saying that lesbians who praise virulently transmisogynistic lesbian culture are probably shitty. You can say you’re doing “criticism” all you like, but all you are doing are confirming your own preconceived notions and taking it out on other trans women, and this will be obvious every time the transmisogynists equate consensual sex between trans women as sexually violent, harassing, or dangerous. And like again no one is seriously saying pedophilia is transfeminine, and if they did you’re kind of insane for assuming other trans women are just okay with and agree with that or have a naturally shitty moral fiber or something, you have just completely lost the plot, no one else is expected to constantly say they’re not pedophiles be so real with me lmao. At most a few people are being gross or posting kink you read into cruelly, and i know there’s a bunch edgily joking about it to get people like you to unfollow them and save them from watching more pedohysterics; which is something we call “maybe a little in bad taste”, a category of being annoying or shitty that isn’t equatable to actual fucking sexual abuse.

Also, “Paraphilias” are still an arbitrary and garbage way to try to understand and pathologize sexuality that basically just means weird, and resultingly being attracted to trans or fat people is placed in the same category as sexually abusing children, among other insane pathologic and arbitrary shit. You need to understand abuse is not about desire. You need to come to understand that the problem with sexual abuse is the abuse; pedophilia is not a problem of Dangerous Perverted Deviants corrupting the fucking youth and spreading mind poison (again, you have fallen for reactionary sex politics hook line and sinker here), CSA is normalized as fuck in our society and happens most frequently as a symptom of power to hold over someone and to enforce norms. Failing to understand this and (reactionarily!) focusing on the construction of the Deviant Pedophile instead only makes it easier for ‘normal’ people in positions of normalcy and power to abuse that power. You’re lost! Please think critically and honestly for a while.

[tassodelmiele]

Noisy little mess

Hi sweetie ⁓

Here we are, it's finally monday and we can hope again in having a good, productive week (please let it be a sunny one too I can't hibernate in April I need my photosynthesis).

I'm wondering what do you think of this little work of mine, so if you feel like it you can write me whatever comment/question/any various and possible magical shit.

Have a good chocolaty day ⁓

DISCLAIMERS: little bit of touching and hints about sub/dom relationship! Finally my kinks are emerging! (evil laugh); Ghost-who-needs-to-make-peace-with-his-brain x Reader-who-needs-to-learn-how-to-shut-up; "How to be a psychologist without a degree" (by John Price); embarassing mission I hope does not exist in reality, but i needed it for plot's sake; little bit of wounds and scars (Doc.'s gonna tie you and Ghost up to a chair for the rest of your life); yelling and fighting and arguing (you're used to it by now).

..................................................

Fourth part here:

..................................................

«Why the hell you've let her-»

«MacTavish»

Price swallows through the smoked breath, clenching his fingers around the consumed cigar just to distract himself from the willingness to punch a wall, or the Sergeant's face.

«I've already had Ghost yelling at me for half an hour. Spare me»

«Then explain yourself, Cap.»

«I can't. I've no explanation. She'd done it by herself»

«She's no insubordinate»

«Not in that sense». He sighs. «I told her no. I knew it was too much for a rookie». He chews the extinguished cigar for a while, taking his time. «Laswell agreed. But that goddamn girl managed to convince Kate, somehow»

«How come?»

«Dunno. But she's already feeling bad enough, and she was the one who's got to rescue the girl»

«Laswell?? Ye serious?»

Price nods, eyes locked at the door in front of them. The doc entered almost one hour ago.

«And» Soap dares to ask «is Laswell…uhm…»

«She's ok» the Captain anticipates him. «Nothing broken. But the rookie…». He sighs again, scratching the bridge of his nose, pushing lightly his digits on the eyes. «I don't like soldiers wasting their lives like this. Especially good ones»

«The mission had to be done anyway»

«We could have waited for a better plan»  

He takes a last chew on the cigar, spitting it on his glove before squeezing the leftover crumbles in his fist. He throws everything in a trashcan, then gazes at Soap.

«We've got shit to do, Sergeant. We'll come to check her later»

«They've done something bad to her». That wasn't really a question, even if Soap hopes to be wrong. «Am i right?»

«What came up in that bloody lil' head of yours?»

Three gunshots in your arm (the right one, 'cause luck kicks you in the ass as always), one blade wound and various bruises, just to complete the masterpiece. Doc sent you out of the bed with a promise: to try to not touch the medications.

One in particular.

You didn't even want to eat, but you need to. So breakfast has started, with chocolate scent, closed stomach and two pairs of gaze on your red face. You've tried to avoid contact with every human being in the base, but someone's got a good sense of smell for you. And you eventually end up with Soap and Gaz surrounding you with their (legitimate) questions.

You're blushing like hell, stirring oatmeal crumble in the mug with your eyes drowning into it.

«…I've thought…i could be helpful»

«You're a brave kid, but that was-»

«Stupid» Soap ends the sentence. «To say the least». He finishes his coffee in a sip, swallowing the hot liquid in a rush. «It wasn't a rookie's work, ye should've known» 

You nod in embarrassment. «I did know»

«Then why?»

«'Cause…» you swallow, burying your eyes more into the mug, scratching the cuticles skin out of the nails. «…a girl was required. For the mission»

«Hold on» Gaz grabs your shoulder, lowering his voice. It was a confidential subject, not the one to speak about in a crowded dining room. But he keeps on with his curiosity anyway. «It was about weapons traffic, wasn't it?»

You nod.

«Then why a girl?»

You're about to answer, your mouth's already open even if you're not sure if filling them with a temporary lie, or just spit the truth.

Another sudden press on your shoulder takes you off from every doubt.

A big hand grabs you firmly, squeezing skin and bones underneath your uniform. Your body instantly shivers, tightening under the hold. You raise your head a little, but you know whose mask you're gonna jump into.

Ghost has the magical power to bring back the silence. He doesn't even have to speak, just a glare of his is enough. His look hits Soap and Gaz as to say: shut your bloody mouth; and they just roll their eyes at the ceiling, as to say: but we wanna know 'bout her mission, damn it.

Then he lowers on you just that tiny bit that's needed to let you feel his body heat closer, so warm against your cold limbs.

«Your presence is required» he says quickly, almost murmuring against your ear.

And here you are, walking behind his massive figure with eyes lowered on the ground, following his feet at a security distance through the base. He stops a couple of times to talk with someone, moments in which you play camouflaging with the wall; then you two reach a door, and you're so into not-seeing in front of you that you don't even look at where you are. 

He closes the door behind you, and only after a few seconds of embarrassment you find the bravery to mumbling:

«W-who required me?»

«I do»

Your heart skips a beat before your ears could collect his voice and your synapsis could elaborate its meaning. That's when you suddenly raise your sight, finding him clinging on the desk while looking at you through the mask, and even if you can't see his face it's pretty clear that he's judging you. You can read it on the skull, as there's an imaginary -but very perceptible-  neon writing saying: You're a bloody stupid gnome.

Voice escape through your lips automatically: «I'm sorry»

«'Bout what?» he kinda calls you out, pressing with his sternness on your pathetic whimpers.    

Your eyes lower again.

«…causing trouble-»

«Just that?»

You nod. You don't wanna talk about what kinda trouble; but he does.

«Take off your shirt»

Your brain flashes a sudden error signal, allowing you to shiver and wrap your arms tight around yourself. 

«…sir?»

Stupid question. You know why he's asking, the goddamn doctor had probably told him.

«Your shirt» he repeats, not moving from his place.

Two days ago, you would have started a war about this, yelling at him without regrets, brave enough to fight against your superior like two children between one small bucket. 

Not now. Now you just stand in your special spot in the office, allowing your body to move just what is needed to breathe, eyes locked on the floor. You feel him growing impatient, sighing through the mask as you're disappointing him.

«'K. If that's so…»

The sentence remains hanging in the air, and in a matter of seconds, without getting aware of how fast he came toward you, his hands are on your shoulder. You instantly panic but you're too small to fight against his weight that's pushing you against the door, pinning you still with an hand on your breastbone while the other runs to your shirt's hem.

You grab his wrist in a stupid attempt at stopping him, but he lifts the shirt up in one movement, revealing bruises, a bloody bandage, and…a little scar slightly under the belly button, fresh from the oven and still shiny from some medical gel: the writing made out of fire burns on your skin in an elegant gothic style. 

He stares at it, contemplating that swallowed piece of tattooed skin. Your face becomes so red you could spontaneously combust in this exact moment.

«Who made it?» he burst out, whispering harsh words.

You swallow hot air, digging your dry throat and hoping that whatever's gonna come out of your mouth will be the most sensible as possible.

«It's…it…traffic wasn't just 'bout weapons»

«Humans» he talks over immediately. 

You nod your head, specifying with a swallow: «women» 

«You've sneak in as a good to be sold»

«There was no other way to-»

«And they've marked you» his voice's not that high, but you're whispering enough to make it easy for him to have the upper hand on you. You become quiet, avoiding his sight, with your hands still wrapped around his wrist.

«Are you proud?»

The question wasn't expected, spitted roughly through his mouth. You clench your digits, digging in his gloves.

Then you nodd.

«Yes» the answer is a breath, warmth by your boldness and the consciousness that you've done what had to be done. And none would have taken that awareness from you. You eventually lift your sight a little, meeting his mask, letting the skull shape fill your eyes.

«Yes, I am»

You know he's looking at you as if he's got an idiot under his sight. You feel him judging, investigating your behavior, interrogating your posture. And you, trapped between a scary giant and a door, with his cold glove pressed where your belly still hurts, you dare to stare at him for one whole minute.

It seems enough: he lets you go, shaking your hands away from his wrists as he stands in all of his height against you.

«Good soldiers come home alive, little gnome»

«…it's a curious scolding from one who lives a dangerous life»

«I've already told ya: you don't know me»

«But i'm neither deaf nor blind»

«Buy a bloody mirror then». He takes two steps back, letting you breathe freely for the first time since you've entered the room. «Ya can say you see us clear, but speaking of seeing yourself…I can't say the same»

«I know me»   

«It seems not»

Blood starts to rush to your brain as the embarrassment turns into a mixed spoonful of anger and bitterness. You follow him, still at security distance, toward his desk. «Why? 'Cause you've caught me touching myself once and I made one bloody moan?»

«'S not that, and we've already talked enough 'bout it» he mumbled, pretending to not pay attention as he looks through some documents on the table.

«Oh, oh sure! Now we've talked enough about it» your arms end up crossing on your chest. «after you've ripped my elbow»

«It was just a nerve»

«Judicially irrelevant» 

«Shut your bloody mouth»

«Why? 'Cause you've told me s-»

«Yes»

You freeze; that was a cold, hard stone order. He's got his knuckles clenched on the table, his back's muscles are visibly breathing under the pressure of maintaining a glint of calm. 

«You» he turns at you, pointing a finger at your freezed face «you are a goddamn idiot, one of the worst species. I've tried to convince myself you weren't actually so stupid but, damn god, was i right in the first place»

Guilt assaults you with a knife at your throat, for reasons you don't know. And you find your eyes lower, your spirit evaporated, your anger extinguished under his glare. You try to mutter:

«I've just done my duty-»

«You threw away your life»

«The mission had to be done, that was our last possibility to catch that damn illegal traffic» you rush, raising your voice to grow some confidence in your speech «Laswell needed a woman and i just did my damn work!»

And he almost barks back, raising stern and furious eyes at you: «than what 'bout asking someone more experienced, you bloody asshole?!»

«'Cause it was needed a woman with-!». You suddenly stop, biting your inner cheek as a last word slips, almost like a whisper, through your lips: «…inclinations»

He's left speechless for a while, standing in front of you with the finger still hanging toward your figure. You swallow; you know he's going to ask more, and that's just 'cause you can't keep your mouth shut.

As if you've called it, he spit out a terse: «Explain»

You sigh. This would be a great time to sink ten meters underground.

«I» you start gesticulating, drawing figures in the air with your hands «I am…i-»

You expect him to joke about your incapability of connecting two words together; but he remains silent, looking at you almost with curiosity. And you're forced to keep on talking.

«…I like certain things people don't usually…agree to do» you force words outside your mouth, with cheeks on fire and eyes buried on the pavement.

His conclusion wastes no time to come:

«You're a submissive»

It's not a question, it's a truth and it hits you like a brick in the face, as if he'd already understood your particular nature till the beginning. There's no need for more explanation: you know what kind of submissive he's referring to, and he evidently knows just enough about the subject to grin, just a little, under the mask.

«The target was known for his…peculiar sexual tastes». The additional clarification was not necessary, but he gives it anyway. He let out a soft chuckle, almost like he's having fun thinking about it. «I can't believe that Laswell really rely on this stupid trick»

You would really clarify how much Laswell fought against your will to volunteer for that risk, but your voice is gone under the embarrassment. Your digits are digging into cuticles again, and you're about to pretend to not exist, turn your heels and just go away.

And you don't even notice he's got closer again, till he forces your face up by roughly grabbing your cheeks in one hand. 

The disappointment is palpable.

«You've run into that perv's den alone, risking yourself for a mission you knew you couldn't handle…just to satisfy your throbbing cunt?»

That hit you worse than every other thing he's thrown at you till now. Your cheeks catch fire in his hands, guilt choke air in your lungs and poisonous butterflies eat your stomach, whispering through the entrails: he's right.

But you don't want him to be right.

«I've just decided to put every weapon I've got at your service» you spit out.

His grip gets tighter. «Sure thing. And what have you gained? Apart of a saving operation that wasted everyone's time, of course»

«Mission was completed»

«We would have found another way to do it, rookie»

«But I did it» you grab his wrist, trying again to escape from his hold. «And i'm alive, so why the hell are we even talking about-»

It happens all of a sudden: he pushes you again against the door, harder and roughly enough to make your spine squeak on it. You hold a yell, and one second after you can't breathe anymore.

He holds you by your mouth, pushing on your face with his whole hand open, while the other runs down right under your belly, squeezing on your crotch like it's made of play dough.

«This is no playfield». His voice is almost a growl murmur in your ear as he lowers enough to overcome you with his bigger body. «Soldiers have morals. And dignity. Maybe 's not clear to your pretty little brain. So: watch» and he speaks slowly, growling coldness with tongue maid of sharp metal, his eyes on you with that goddamn mask supply (and you're sure you're gonna dream about his sight forever) «your. Bloody. Mouth. Kitty» 

The nickname, the grip on your pants, the fact that you're breaking your personal apnea record…just burn your brain. And, in a loss of breath, trying so desperately to find a way out of that embarrassment while freezing your hormones that are already running too low on your body…

You bite him.

You sink your teeth in his glove as hard as you can, ripping off that goddamn dignity he was speaking about, letting the residual rage work as a fuel for your mouth. He suddenly jerks with a step back, catched by surprise, tearing his hands away, and to do so…he pushes with the other hand on your lower belly.

On your goddamn freshly engraved and barely healed tattoo.

On the scar the doc pleaded with you not to touch.

You spit his glove out of your mouth, yelling like your vocal chords have turn into a megaphone.

Ten minutes later, you two are waiting outside of the infirmary.

The knock on the door doesn't distract him, too focused pretending to find his paperwork attractive.

Price gets in without invitation.

«Just a word» he sits at the desk, usual hat at his place and cigar climbing from his lips «between me and you»

Ghost doesn't lift his sight.

«I've talked with doc-»

«I don't need to be scold 'bout it, if that's what ya'r here for»

Price sighs a low, maybe a little bit too paternal: «Ghost-»

«If you two» Simon raises his voice a little «believe in trusting every goddamn rookie, sending them risking their bloody neck just 'cause they've told you how good they are at shaking their ass-»

«You've already yelled about it, give my ears a rest. In any case, Laswell made the best choice in her position» Captain talks over him. «And I agree with her. We couldn't lose that opportunity, Simon»

«She didn't even managed to end the mission alone»

«But the rookie did a great job. Only problem was taking her out of that shit»

«You can't seriously call a kink exploitation one "great job"»

«She's a soldier. We're not here to babysit, risking our life 's part of our contract»

Silence. 

Price starts to get nervous, feeling some mixed emotions that he really can't stand at six in the evening. He suddenly stands up, patting both hands on the desk, taking a deep breath before exhaling a long, almost exhausted: 

«There's nothing bad in making friends with your allies…»

Ghost is already rushing an "i don't need friends" kinda sentence, but Price anticipates him:

«Me too, i've made friendships on the battlefield that i hope will last as long as my bones will walk on the dirt. Then, we could die together and be happy in whatever hell God'll decide to send us. But» and his "but" was final «i know what you're doing here. Stop it. It's gonna be draining, for the both of you»

Ghost spits out: «I'm doing nothin'», too rushed, then muttering: «Don't even like her»

«I don't care who you like. You can marry whoever you want, you've got my approval»

«For fuck's sake Price-»

«Wanna delete her from your eyesight? Just look straight in front of you from now on. Wanna keep an eye on her?» John raises his hands, throwing Ghost's embarrassment in the air while admitting with the most honest attitude: «Sure. Ok. I keep an eye on you all every goddamn minute of my life. She's not a princess, though. And ya'r not a bloody knight»

Silence becomes again the king in the office. Price is still fixed in his extreme openness, ready to give his Lt. the best suggestions on how-to-not end up again at the infirmary with that goddamn rookie (before the doc kills the both of them).

Then Ghost finally raises his gaze.

And Price has a bad sensation in his guts, almost like he'd said something he shouldn't have.

«Keeping…an eye on her» Simon repeats, lost in thoughts.

John nodds, hesitating before leaving the office.

..................................................

[princess-of-the-corner]

AFO: I have to give them some credit they managed to outdo me.

Yoichi: Yeah stealing DNA, creating children to be heroes and their respective villain, and doing all that under the guise of "good organization". That takes the cake.

Bruce: I think this even tops the Malaysia incident. At least you were honest in the evil intent.

Nana: ...I hate that I'm curious enough to ask but, what was the Malaysia incident.

AFO: So there was this awful cartoon where a character said they blew up Malaysia and-

Honestly yeah he just. Has a lot of feelings on the situation!\

And yeah some are personal in the sense of "Hey how dare you do this to me?!"

Then yes it's

He;s done plenty of fucked up shit. And is aware of the way he's manipulated people and made kids like Tenko into Villains and let other kids like Aoyama live out their dreams as Heroes in exchange for favors and played with the whole thing of crafting the story himself.

But

1.) He's a Villain. He's an evil bastard. And while he'll say anything to manipulate others, he doesn't lie to himself about what he is. He's under no delusion that he's doing something good. These people are supposedly the 'good guys' doing this and still try to maintain that they're doing good.

and

2.) While he's done a lot, he's never really dipped into the idea of making someone from scratch.

And there's multiple reasons for that!

The most basic of which is that it's far easier to manipulate a pre-existing situation rather than create one from scratch. Like, sure. He can give some kid a made-up backstory of why AfO is their caretaker and lie to them about morality and all. But unless the kid lived that trauma, it's not going to mean as much to them and not going to give them that conviction. Not to mention other factors like nature vs, nurture because for all his manipulations of this child, they might still somehow lean too kind-hearted/easily swayed by a Hero trying to save them. Plus god forbid the betrayal the kid might feel if they were to find out AfO's tragic backstory for them was a lie!

No no. Much better to keep an eye on kids with promise and drag them to Villainy via manipulation when a situation arises.

But also!

At his core, AfO is a fucking nerd when it comes to Quirks. He appreciates them all and the potential they have. While he logically knows about the idea of trying to create a neat Quirk that way..... it doesn't interest him nearly as much as utilizing whatever Quirks land in his lap.

Like sure there;s the Nomus and all but let's be honest: not only is that less 'creating a new Quirk' and more stacking abilitiles, but /also/ I'd consider the Nomu more Dr. Garaki's project than AfO's. Like AfO is giving the guy the funding and resources and utiliizing the results, but that's not his project the way it's Garaki's.

[astridthevalkyrie]

so idk how mha is gonna end but obviously the moral of the story we’re going for here is that everyone deserves to be saved and heroism is about saving people no matter what. that’s great! i’m guessing some or all of the league is going to survive and be put into some kind of rehabilitation center (toga and spinner seem the most likely to me for now but who knows). and i’m fine with that i like the overall message of it.

but how are they going to deal with the fallout from the league’s victims? i get the feeling that they’re not, or it’ll be a one-off like “some ppl were upset we didn’t jail or kill the villains but the heroes calmed them down” or something like that. i mean. whoever in the LOV it is would have to show remorse eventually, for one thing, for them to be any different than the corrupt hero system. but even then, all the families of whoever machia trampled on during the war arc, are they just gonna be cool with this? mind you I don’t think that anyone in the LOV should be killed or jailed rather than rehabilitated, but i wonder if the show is going to bring up that anyone who dabi or toga killed won’t get a second chance. they won’t get rehabilitated, they’re just gone. how are their families and friends going to deal with what society deems as an appropriate punishment for them?

i think this message also could’ve been conveyed better if we had more prominent “corrupt” heroes aside from endeavor and hawks. the top ten minus them and the irrelevant guy who retired after the war arc are all portrayed narratively as good people. iida’s brother is attacked by stain for no real reason at all aside from not being all might. all might’s heroism ends up being bad for society overall yeah, but so much of that is because of who toshinori is as a person rather than hero society (which does play a part but if toshinori just hadn’t pushed himself to be the best and number one savior for everyone there wasn’t necessarily any society forcing him to until after he’d already showed them he could do it).

PLUS the existence of afo offsets this message. everyone can be saved…..besides the real super evil people?? if, and I’m not saying they do, shigaraki and afo had the same kill count, is the lack of a sad childhood the only thing that makes afo beyond redemption? i mean he might not be gone gone if he’s still inside shigaraki’s mind or whatever, but that doesn’t change the fact that the heroes were trying to kill him too. narratively, why was all might in the right for killing him all those years ago when hawks was in the wrong for killing twice? because twice was kinder? because twice was neurodivergent??

mha also a little bit contradicts itself because. hero society is exposed post war arc. civilians have every right to be mad that their current number one is an abuser and that the heroes failed and couldn’t protect them. but theeeen, we have ochako’s speech in which she yells at scared civilians that “the heroes are the ones who are getting dirty!” which is like. yeah. they are. but during and post the war arc civilians also very much died. i feel for izuku but at first glance if someone promised you a safe haven from being attacked and then said oh never mind we’re actually going to bring the one guy shigaraki can absolutely track and hunt down here because he’s tired of fighting, getting upset with that is not totally unreasonable.

and I get that civilians are supposed to get mad at heroes for being corrupt, but not for failing, because heroes should never have been put up on such a high pedestal. they should be seen as humans who are as fallible as everyone else. that doesn’t change the fact the average innocent person would be rightfully scared, because it’s not just the heroes who are getting dirty. people are getting attacked. the heroes are not saving everyone. they shouldn’t have to and there’s no way they realistically can, but picking and choosing which aspects of hero society people are allowed to criticize feels…meh. if there’s gonna be fallout, fallout that endeavor and hawks if not the rest deserve, there should be proper fallout.

i don’t think the UA kids should be treated as full-fledged heroes because they’re not, but their age should not be the one thing that makes them better than the current heroes. they’re liable to the same mistakes and the same fallings. or they would be had they not all been portrayed from the beginning as one big happy hopeful crowd who just wanna save the day! there was opportunity to show who was in it for the right and wrong reasons and somehow ochako who has been so poorly written for several seasons actually had the most relevant arc (besides bakugo) about being in the hero business for the right reasons. ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with there should’ve been more students in it for the glory, for the money, for the fame, but even monoma from class b and mineta are apparently true heroes! is being a high schooler all it takes??

anyway this is all jumbled and a mess but mha should’ve made hero society far more corrupt to justify its dismantling is my point. right now we’re getting a vibe of “the heroes are just as bad as the villains if they don’t save them too” and that’s just like. objectively not true. if hawks was supposed to be an assassin for hire for the hero commission, we should’ve seen him kill people aside from the guy who could’ve turned the tides of the war, at the very least actually kill best jeanist to finish his mission. if toga wanted to preach about how the heroes are just as bad because they killed jin, it falls flat when she’s on machia’s back stomping on people and then killing an old lady to talk to ochako. the heroes should try to save everyone including the villains because that’s what heroism is, but they are not equally as bad as the villains for trying to stop the villains.

the hero commission in general is just like afo, a vague villain we can blame so that we don’t have to blame the underlings. if people discriminate against animal quirks we should’ve seen it way earlier with shoji and tsu and tokoyami, maybe really expanded on it once mirko and hawks and even the dog cop were introduced. if sooo many heroes were in this for the wrong reasons, where are they? the current “failings” of the hero system are all might, endeavor, hawks, lady nagant and bakugo. everyone else is fine! there was a chance to show that someone like mount lady isn’t a real hero because she only cares about fame. there was a chance to show that aizawa is a good hero compared to others because he doesn’t try and seek glory. but these points are only halfway done and then kinda left there.

[colorisbyshe]

I think leftism (or “leftism” in many cases) has a therapy speak issue in that arguably good leftist concepts get filtered down to a. Mean nothing and b. Be used to avoid any level of personal accountability.

“No ethical consumption under capitalism” becomes “I can buy whatever I want because none of this is ethical.” Choosing to support products or creators that are like… fully morally wrong is okay because well ALL consumerism is bad, right? You can’t be an immoral consumer under capitalism. If capitalism is bad, it’s all equally bad.

“Corporations and the military are the biggest contributors to pollution, so lmao at the pressure to recycle and compost.” No one is personally responsible for their impact on the environment because it’s just a drop in the bucket, right? Never mind that there are 8 billion individual people and 8 billion individual drops… is a lot.

So much of these talking points seem to exist to imply that someone else, someone more powerful than you, having MORE impact means your impact doesn’t matter or exist at all. Evil corporations will always exist, so why boycott? Evil doesn’t exist on a scale anymore it’s just: other group is undeniably evil and all evil is equal and MY group is helpless and unable to stop the evil or contribute to it.

It’s self defeating. It just concedes the fight, which isn’t leftist at all. It’s just self soothing.

You can’t possibly be contributing to the bad of the world, you can ONLY be a victim to it. Victimhood makes you immune to benefiting from or contributing to bad things. Nuance doesn’t exist. Things cannot be bad with other things being worse, anything that is bad is equally bad.

Don’t worry about politics; it’s all equally bad and we’ll all suffer the same amount under any political structure outside of utopia I imagined in my head. Don’t worry about what you buy; all consumerism is equally bad outside of the products you personally enjoy and are good actually. Don’t worry about recycling or reusing or repurposing; companies and governments aren’t recycling efficiently anyways so there’s just no point!! Throw that soda can on the GROUND!

There’s no point to anything. I promise it’ll be fixed in the future when we decide to overcome it Outside the System but until then the system cannot be fixed, at all , and any attempts to manipulate the system is doomed to fail because it won’t help everyone immediately. Something helping “Not enough” is exactly the same as “not at all.”

It’s just… what are we even fucking doing? The revolution comes through not doing anything at all? We sit on our hands until someone has a bright idea???

But then you talk to actual experts or actual people on the ground who are doing the work and it’s like.. oh, no, it’s just laymen making up leftist speak. People who actually care don’t talk like this at all

[loderlied]

Missing Ollie so these are for him ❤️

Eros 4, Philia 3, Agape 2, Philautia 2

Eros 4: Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

i think oleander is absolutely the kind of person who believes in love at first sight, that very romantic and twisted-idealistic worldview is kinda the perfect space for that i think lmao. it’s not necessarily that you have to know that it’s love immediately, aka how it was for him with camellia, but he felt that she was special and that she would play a special role in his life.

however based on appearance is a hard pass. his feelings for camellia were based on a sense of wanting to help her, fan the flames of her darkness and such.

Philia 3: What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

ooh difficult one for oleander. it’s sort of that ‘if everyone is your friend, do you really have no friends at all?”thing, as in he views everyone as a friend, or as he would describe it, has love for everyone. so what qualities matter to him most? being alive (being able to rot)? i guess lol. like it’s certainly not an act and his friendship (on his side) is certainly not less strong than your average one, but he just genuinely and sincerely enjoys the company of everyone, if they love him or especially if they hate him.

Agape 2: Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

absolutely! to all three of those! i think he’s the sort of person to view it all as one connected thing, not only a shared space but sort of. truly that everyone and everything is connected through string-like fate and love and whatever esoteric bullshit you can think of. but that connection to him is certainly the rot of body, mind and soul.

this and the answer above are actually why he acts so familiar and vulnerable with people he just met. you could know him for five seconds and he would treat you like an old friend he just hasn’t seen in 47 years lol. because again, not an act—to him, that’s exactly what it is.

Philautia 2: Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

well. another difficult one. no. this is actually the biggest problem he and camellia ever have in their relationship and the reason she eventually leaves him. i know calling someone an empath has sort of become a meme but if there’s one it’s ollie. what i’m trying to say is that he not only understands but especially feels for and with them so much, and yet, he does not understand why camellia does not want to kill him. he offers himself up to her/ makes countless promises of saving his death for her which makes her more uncomfortable as time goes on each time he does it and he just becomes more insistent on it as a result. he ultimately views himself as not only as disposable, but as something for which death through the right person/the ultimate evil he nourishes (camellia) would be the best end to ever be. if he doesn’t die like this his entire existence would be a waste. this is the guy who when he was a small malnourished kid barely surviving in the wilderness let parasites and other various animals eat away at him because he couldn’t bear it otherwise. he’s someone that fans the flames of evil and rot, the breeding ground of sin and malice, and when all his hatchlings are conceived and fully grown it would be his greatest honour to have them devour him.

but back to him and camellia—in the end with how much love he carries for others he could never make room for hers for him. he doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to and desperately tries to keep herself from loving him the way he loves her. it’s why her biggest complaint about him is and always has been that he cares too much.

(ask game)

[ureyesonly]

♡ Tips To Make Social Media Fun Again ♡

✮⋆˙ A follow up of this post ✮⋆˙

♡ Unfollow & Remove

I get it, it's easy to feel guilty about unfollowing and removing someone from your account when they haven't done anything necessarily wrong. If you are consistently skipping someone's posts or even go so far as to mute their entire account it's time to let them go. Do it! They most likely won't notice or care and you will feel free, I promise. I went from almost 900 followers on Instagram to 63 and I have never felt better.

♡ Go Private

Make your account private to avoid wandering eyes. Think of how many times you have stalked someone's account because of enticing drama you heard from a friend. Now think of how many people have done that to you. It feels weird, right? Controlling who has access to you makes posting on social media much less suffocating. Evil eye is real. Beware!

♡ Curate Who You Follow

Don't follow the people that make you feel the why not me's and start following creatives. Following influencers who have the things you want sounds alluring until you're having a bad day. What you surround yourself with is what creates your perception so find accounts that make you feel inspired, motivated, happy.

Some examples of the type of content that may resonate with you:

♡ Art

♡ Writing / Poetry

♡ Self Help

♡ Fitness

♡ Post Your Niche

It sounds daunting because having a niche seems like a thing only really put together people have. It's not! A niche is whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you want to keep posting. Is your niche something that is popular with the majority? Probably not, and that's okay. This blog's aesthetic is 2000's emo/scene/mcbling/y2k. These aesthetics absolutely don't connect with the majority like the Lana clean girl aesthetic that's popular right now, but it's what makes M and I happy. Having a unique niche makes it so much more rewarding when like-minded accounts like your content. Don't post what garners the most engagement, post what you like.

♡ Do Not Disturb ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

After you post put your phone on DND and throw it as far away from you as possible. It sounds like a joke but I'm being serious <( °^° )> Sitting on your phone waiting for likes and comments is anxiety inducing for everyone so it's best to go find something else to do while you wait. While I wait I read, watch a show, play a game, clean. Do what your heart desires in the moment to get your mind off of it.

♡ Interact

Like, comment, share! I'm not sure when it became uncool to interact with people you don't know. I fell into that trap and didn't realize until I started these tips myself. Who cares if people you know see you interacting with others? They are not responsible for what makes you feel passion and excitement. Interacting with others is the sole reason for social media to exist so reap the benefits and create a community you enjoy.

♡ Fulfill Yourself Outside Of the Internet

This is easier said than done and I can admit it is the hardest to do. However, that is not to deter you from doing it! If your life is consumed by social media it becomes mundane. You have seen it all and now you're just waiting around for the next viral thing to happen. Find something you like doing outside of being online and coming back to your socials becomes so much more fun. Remember, it's a hobby not a lifestyle.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

I have felt suffocated and pressured on social media for years and thought there was no way out of it. These things helped me rediscover how fun social media can be and I hope they do the same for you! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

Good luck!

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