#excuse my lateness internet is not good
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cerealdog · 7 months ago
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Have a refreshing drink and chill~
My piece for the boatem season zine. Check it out! @boatemvillagezine
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caydentheys · 6 months ago
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I'm kissing @lovelyelbowleech, MuffinLance, WitchofEndor
inwardtransience and PseudoLeigha
we have to take immersive fantasy racist microaggressions out of writers' hands forever
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lavender---sunshine · 2 years ago
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My parents are driving me crazy
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ashtxrie · 6 months ago
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due 11:59 pm
— alternatively, enhypen hyungs as your typical high school crush!
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PAIR. high school! enhypen hyungs x gn!reader (rest under cut) GENRE. fluff, high school au, bullet points WORD COUNT. 1.8k total MAKNAE LINE VER.
이희승 — lee heeseung
varsity jackets, notes in lockers, late night calls, secret pining, basketball games
secretly (not so secretly) an attention seeker
he's on the varsity basketball team, so by law you're hyping him up (disguised as hyping up the whole team) before the game and now he has to win!!! (plus he made a bet with jay about the team's winning streak)
i'd think that you two are closer than acquaintances but don't know each other well enough to be close friends
you guys probably met through mutual friends groups that kind of merged????
it was junior year when he signed up for every ap class you took just to look at your face more often.
horrible move for his gpa, amazing move for his mental well-being
... that was, until his mental well-being was compromised again because his ap calc grades were... not sexy
"help like actually i don't think my coach will let me stay on the team if i fail another quiz like that 0.05% grade decrease might be the end of my career"
you start tutoring him not because you're super confident about your calc skills, but because 1) you're better than him at least 😂and 2) it's a free excuse to hang out with him after school
you guys have your first tutoring sessions over discord vc btw like LOSERS
"can you hear me okay"
"..."
"dude you're muted"
IT WAS BAD
he's got the popular guy on the outside, an absolute loser on the inside persona
like he's lowkey a romantically awkward dude
but once he got to know you a bit more from your 1 on 1 time (still on discord.) you guys got really close!
would talk shit together right before basketball matches too
"[name] make sure to start booing when the other team shows up because unfortunately i think they're actually really good"
you're really passionate about how the other schools have horrible players (regardless of stats) and love to narrate a play-by-play with heeseung after the match is over
he finally confessed to you after a whole business year (jake and riki were about to dox their private dms by then)
you guys are like those stereotypical high school movie it couples, where it seems like two gorgeous popular people fell in love
they don't need to know he's just a hopeless romantic!!
박종성 — park jongseong
blue ink, keyboard clicks, shared laughs, handwritten notes, guitar strings
you thought he was pretty intimidating at first ngl
first day of school and he has a whole pre-established friend group, somehow found a table to sit at, has an effortless air going for him
you were paired up with him for a group project in history and
god help this man is SO straightforward and to the point
"ok so i'll do this part and you can do those parts. let me know if you have questions."
insert working in SILENCE for the next hour and a half
at least you two got your work done though!
but then, as an icebreaker in the last ten minutes of class you asked:
"oh... so, uh, do you ever wonder how liquid soap was invented?"
girl wtf!
your internal thought processing was like ??? damn who said that??? before you realized it was YOU
fortunately for you, jay was not completely weirded out!
he even looked a bit interested!
VERY interested, actually!
and that's how he began google searching like crazy, pulling up a million wikipedia articles and scouring the internet to answer your question
because how did you know he was curious about that too!
he really went from 0 to 100 and wdym you thought this man was cold and stoic
he became a d1 yapper for a solid ten minutes, up until the second the bell rang
he was even subconsciously walking with you to your lunch spot, STILL talking about william sheppard and that day in 1865
when he stops and finally realizes where he is, he actually blinks a bit before asking if you had joined any lunchtime clubs
and you were like oh yeah!! i'm in guitar club
he looked at you with the biggest heart eyes at that tbh
HE WAS IN LOVE
wdym your interests were perfectly aligned???? was he in a soulmates au
fast forward three months, and he seriously thinks he's found The One
confesses to you after playing guitar!! and he wrote a handwritten letter too with a cheeky reference to that one liquid soap conversation that started it all
you never feel like you're being "too weird" when you're with him and you two can always be your candid goofy selves with each other :))
심재윤 — sim jaeyun
muji pens, fond eye rolls, sharing books, lunch dates, lattes, TI-84s
you already saw this one coming
physics lover jake, but you've deemed physics your number one opp
HOW can this man go "i love this subject so much omg" after you've just gotten your third 72% in a row?!
it's not like you weren't smart (the class average was a 55)
and it's not like you hated the subject itself
okay maybe you did
but you just thought there were so many other alternatives other than physics to fawn over as a favorite subject. like. ANY other subject
one day, you're seated next to jake in calc and he just turns to you and starts talking out of NOWHERE
he’s like wow isn’t this so interesting? calc is like a hobby of mine!!
and you’re like boy stfu??? i’m literally struggling how is this your pastime 
poor guy just wanted to make small talk and impress you with stuff he thought you were interested in… which is academics 
fast forward to that afternoon in history though, and tests are passed back
you're a certified humanities girl, so you got an 100!!! academic weapon
jake, however..... is kind of an academic shield in this case
on the midterm, he had written that the victorian era ended in 1592, and filled in everything else he didn't know with "mansa musa" because it was the only thing he retained from ap world
maybe you genuinely felt really bad for hating on him when he had struggles of his own, or maybe you felt really nice that day, or maybe you were secretly hoping to get to know him more....
either way, you don't know what came over you when you tapped on his shoulder
you missed how his eyes widened a bit when he turned around, and how he looked genuinely shocked that you were talking to him in an initiated conversation! maybe his rizz was working! (maybe it was)
"there's a method that i use to memorize terms that i could teach you, if you want"
IF HE WANTS??? he would've literally jumped with joy if the paper in front of him wasn't such a nuclear bomb to his gradebook
so that's how you suddenly started spending all your lunches sitting with jake at an empty table together
he tutors you back for physics and math too, so it's fair
and DAMN it works
suddenly you two are all-rounder academic weapons???? he has your back for STEM, you have his back for humanities
like that's literally a power couple right there.
only one problem.
you aren't a couple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you confess to him after one of your study sessions, by plotting a heart on the desmos graphing calculator using the equations that he taught you
it was super cute!!
he was literally the proudest and happiest man alive he teared up a bit (he would never admit it though)
and NOW you guys are the campus power couple
“babe look at this!” and he's waving at you with his 100 on the history final
he actually started jumping and hugging you (embarrassingly) when you found out you got a 94% average in physics at the end of the semester, giving you an A in the class
you were so shocked when you opened your report card that you didn't even register it until you heard jake go "YOOO OH MY GOD BABE THAT'S INSANE I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT YESSS I'M SO PROUD OF YOU"
well maybe thanks to jake the subject isn't so bad now!
박성훈 — park sunghoon
big school, comfortable silence, convenience stores, headphones, lingering gazes
the "everything kinda sucks here, except you" type of plot
sunghoon tries to stay out of the spotlight, keeping to himself with his head down, hood up, and headphones on
you're not really sure when you met him first actually, but you're both the same type of people where you're just going through the motions
you intrigued him though-- maybe it was the slightly melancholic look in your eyes? or maybe it was the way you purse your lips when you find a particularly hard question on the worksheets in class
either way, he finds himself wanting to get to know you more
funnily enough, he sees you at the convenience store after school as he walks home, and his feet start walking him in your direction
you see him first, and give him a smile and a little wave-- and sunghoon waves back without even thinking about it
that was the entire interaction that day, but sunghoon keeps replaying that part when you smiled and waved at him
why can't he stop thinking about it?
some things definitely changed too-- you start saying hi to him in the hallways at school, you turn to sunghoon to ask questions in class, and you seem to brighten up whenever you see him
you guys start to have conversations, starting with simple small talk, then moving to longer, more random dialogue where you both just say whatever comes to mind
the two of you become so close that you decide to walk to and from school together, since you found out that you only live a couple blocks away
sunghoon likes to place his headphones over your ears to show you new songs every morning, and you like to share earbuds in the afternoon to walk home together
he also starts to slip little notes about his day in your backpack before you go your separate ways in the neighborhood, signing off with a little p.s. to meet him at the park before sunset
it takes him SO long to muster up the courage to confess to you because he keeps thinking you'd say no
but when he finally does, all his fears melt away because you looked at him in such a soft way
he's actually reminded of why he fell for you in the first place
because with you, there’s no judgment from the outside world in the little bubble that you’ve created with him
it's just the two of you against the world <3
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TAGLIST : @star-sim @boyfiejay @jlheon @jwsdoll @dimplewonie @suneng @en-gelic
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slowmo-yo-yo · 1 year ago
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IM THE KING OF NICHE PAIRINGS😋😋☝️
what’s the most niche/lame/embarrassing thing you’ve ever read fanfiction for. looking things up as a joke or for morbid curiosity doesn’t count i mean like intentionally just searching up and reading for personal enjoyment
#DUDE IVE BEEN FUCKING WAITING FOR AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY INSTANCES WHERE ILL JUST LOOK RANDOM SHIT UP ON AO3#I read The Hangover (2009) fic awhile back after watching the movie while doing a project for school#you’d think a movie with little to no internet fanbase would have nothing to offer but I read some pretty impressive phil/Stu fanfic#I was gen sat for a good 2 hrs reading phil/Stu#I think I read some Jack Reacher#like a lil tiny bit#i don’t think it was him in any romantic predicament#I think he’s an emotionally repressed loser who sucks but I liked the idea of him adopting some kind of#parental responsibilities for his not really from the second movie#I READ A SMALL RUSTY/DANNY FROM THE OCEANS TRILOGY FIC AND I DONT REGRET IT#the oceans trilogy boys got some kind of polycule thing going on but I gravitate towards Rusty/Danny more tbh#read a bit of dream husbands#Arthur/Eames and wasn’t super impressed but I was curious#DUDE KIND OF EMBARRASSING BUT OFC I SKIMMED A BIT OF FORD V FERRARI (2019) Ken/Miles#AND IK THE MOVIES A NONFICTION IN A WAY so it’s not totally ethical to read fanfic abt 2 real people#but curiosity killed the cat and I still ended up reading a bit#pookie Matt Damon I can’t help myself sometimes#last year late December I indulged in ONE good Jaws (1975) Martian/Matt fic#SUCH A TRAVESTY THAT THERES NOT MORE W THEM#PEOPLE PLEASE THERES SO MUCH UNTAPED POTENTIAL THERE#I read some Blade Runner 2049 found family featuring old man Deckard and his kids Kane and Ana#AND AGAIN you’d think a movie like that wouldn’t produce any redeemable fic but from what I read there seemed to be some kind of fanbase#for the movie#I def need to finish some of the fic I started and stoped for Blade Runner bc a lot of the fic I did finish for Blade Runner was super mushy#and sweet🤞🤞#Cant think of anything else atm but I have SO MANY EXAMPLES LIKE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#ever since outgrowing my embarrassment for looking random shit up on ao3 I’ve just been bombarding the search bar w potential pairings#just seeing what comes up🫡#you call it embarrassing I call it research
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bitterkarella · 9 months ago
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Midnight Pals: Spicy Stories
JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh Poe: oh joanne Poe: you're back Rowling: i have concernss Poe: uh we're mostly about just telling stories here Poe: you have your own campfire for your terf stuff don't you? Rowling: yess but they've really been getting on my nervess lately
Rowling: you know how it iss with terf deatheaterss Poe: not really Rowling: alwayss agreeing with everything i ssay Rowling: all "oh yes dark lord" this and "oh spare me dark lord" that Rowling: ssometimess you jusst get tired of hearing "masterful gambit dark lord"
Rowling: i tell you, you don't know how hard it is to run a cult L Ron Hubbard: oh yeah woof big mood Hubbard: people think its all fun, but its actually a lot of work Rowling: I know right????
Poe: regardless, joanne, i'm going to have to put my foot down Poe: this campfire is just for stories Rowling: uhhh actually i do have a new ssstory Rowling: i wass insspired to write after having an argument on the internet Barker: oh damn no shit? Barker: that's wild
Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstory King: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages! Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it
Rowling: i call it Rowling: the time turner diariesss Barker: wow this is not really funny anymore Baker: its like INTENSELY not funny Lovecraft: catchy title tho!
Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisst Rowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society
Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust? Rowling: well good news Rowling: i've rectified that little mistake
Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety? Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them? Rowling: i'm jusst asskin questions
King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidence Barker: give it up steve King: no no i can fix this King: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner- Barker: oh god that's so cute Barker: don't you just love him? Poe: that's our steve
King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft- Rowling: nope Rowling: didn't happen King: King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying- Rowling: thiss iss missogyny
Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at all Rowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept it Rowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at all Rowling: they love accepting things i ssay!
Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truth Rowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be true King: but joanne, it isn't true- Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: i got here late wot's going on? Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denial Rowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jews Rowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss
Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape? Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good point Sonia Greene: i'm right here howard Lovecraft: Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
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mamma mia | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, jenson button and fernando alonso
what the hell is in the water in greece? why are pregnancy tests so expensive and why does seb name his vehicles like that?
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fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by maxverstappen1, aussiegrit and 803,450 others
location: greece
fernandoalo_oficial: had a great break in greece recharging the old batteries 🔋
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user1: old man who is this woman?
landonorris: who taught you to soft launch grandpa?
fernandoalo_oficial: hey! respect your elders
landonorris: you just called yourself old? and WHO IS THIS?
fernandoalo_oficial: none of your damn business kid
user2: why is he particularly dilfy lately?
user3: he's approaching silver fox territory i fear
jensonbutton: i see that greece was a popular spot for wold champions this break?
fernandoalo_oficial: i also saw, sad not to bump into you old friend :(
maxverstappen1: where was my invite ???
jensonbutton: cool world champions only
lewishamilton: excuse me?
fernandoalo_oficial: idk what to tell you it wasn't planned, me, jenson and sebastian just have good taste
sebastianvettel: i see mary goodnight was appreciated
fernandoalo_oficial: yes thank you for lending me your boat, huge hit with the ladies
sebastianvettel: very happy with my choice to get it deep cleaned before i got there
fernandoalo_oficial: first of all, i'm not dirty. second of all, thanks for the faith in my game big man
user4: i am so confused by this comment section I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ALONSO FUCKED ON SEB'S BOAT ???
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yourusername
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liked by yourbff, oliviarodrigo and 1,340.987 others
tagged: yourbff
yourusername: (sober) brunch with a side of light baby daddy investigation
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user7: only y/n would end up in a mamma mia situation, stay strong
yourusername: omg i didn't even realise, but donna was always a bad bitch, so i will just be the same
user8: i can't believe i am watching a girl investigate her own baby daddies on the internet (i love this place)
yourbff: if we can't find the lucky men, at least they'll have a cool ass aunt
yourusername: all fun and games until you have to change a nappy
user9: i'm enjoying this saga, BUT, why can't we just wait and do a paternity test
yourusernmae: i still need to know them to do that... and being nosey is far more fun
user10: all i'm thinking is this girl has to have GAME for three dilfs in the span of like three days... RESPECT 🫡
user11: i am so invested in this... please be interesting people 🤞
jensonbutton
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 401,330 others
jensonbutton: back on sky duty and bumped into a couple of familiar faces
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user12: who let these old men talk about their sex lives on a live broadcast?
user13: i am entertained tbf
user14: obsessed with both needing to reinforce the fact that they pulled in greece
user15: i need seb to jump in on this conversation ASAP
fernandoalo_oficial: not happy with you pinning all of my success on seb's boat mate
jensonbutton: was it all your charming personality?
fernandoalo_oficial: obviously
sebastianvettel: i can confirm that it's always all the boat
jensonbutton: is that a confession?
sebastianvettel: gentleman don't kiss and tell x
charles_leclerc: jesus christ and we're the generation ruining the sport?
jensonbutton: f1 has always been slutty, you guys are letting us down
maxverstappen1: clearly you guys are still active enough to keep up the reputation yourselves
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sebastianvettel
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liked by charles_leclerc, jensonbutton and 902,180 others
sebastianvettel: retirement is looking fun, glad to take mary goodnight out for her first spin
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user21: did he just say mary goodnight? SEB WHAT?
user22: omfg he is potential baby daddy two??
charles_leclerc: so seb got a bit too lucky in greece?
user23: CHARLES?
user24: i am losing my mind they were right, they are the baby daddies
user25: i knew as soon as she said a nando with a samurai tattoo
user26: @yourusername he's number two !!!!!
user27: @yourusername we found him, boat and all
landonorris: YOU'RE POTENTIAL BABY DADDY TWO SEB WHAT THE FUCK
sebastianvettel: i don't understand lando
landonorris: check your texts
user28: don't forget the others lando
landonorris: @fernandoalo_oficial check your texts (and forward it to jenson i don't have his number)
fernandoalo_oficial: okay?
yourusername: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
user29: i think someone needs to check on her
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yourusername
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,509,600 others
yourusername: i hot girl summer-ed a bit too close to the sun, what do you mean the three dilfs were f1 world champions?
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sebastianvettel followed yourusername
fernandoalo_oficial followed yourusername
jensonbutton followed yourusername
note: AHHHHHH? idk if i love it or hate it? do i know who i plan on being the dad? no. but do i plan on expanding on this? yes. mamma mia chaos will return.
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orbitsaturn · 4 months ago
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"go outside!"
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━ in which the guy you're beefing with online turns out to be cute
modern au! kinich x reader
part 2 here!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"your builds are lackluster, I suggest using these artifacts for better damage" you read, gritting your teeth, about to smash the computer screen right in front of you.
It's been about 5 minutes since you started beefing with this random dude off the internet for apparently no reason. (you started it) about the builds of characters that you showcase.
"my builds aren't your business!" typing harshly on your keyboard, it's noises loud. almost instantly you get a respond back. "well, you posted saying you wanted an opinion on how good your character is. I just gave you the input you asked for." the reply reads.
"but you badiaccly worded it in a way that Impliees my builf is trash!" you type hastily, not bothering to fix the spelling mistakes. to be fair, you were overreacting a bit (a lot.) but you had a bad day today! and some random dude off the internet is making it worse.
"my apologies." he replies.
"..." you stare at the computer screen in front of you for a moment, wondering what to do. either you continue the petty fight you have or accept his apology right now. either way, it's your decision.
and somehow you choose to continue fighting the random stranger online!
almost instantly you type back a response, the clicks of your keyboard filling the room. "my apologies? MY APOLOGIES?! my apologies my ass. that wasn't genuine at all!" you type before hitting send. after a few seconds you see a reply pop up, "friend me, i'll help you build your character correctly."
THE AUDAC-
wait. if you did accept his offer, you can flex your newfound damage to your friends...
...
..
.
never mind!
"no!"
right after the reply you sent, a notification quickly popped up.
"have fun with your trash characters then, loser."
HUH?!
almost instantly you start typing a response the moment you saw those words on the computer screen.
"TRASH CHARACTERS?! TRASH?? CHARACTERS?? why are you even beefing with some stranger online. GET A LIFE!!"
"sorry that was my pet lizard."
.
PET LIZARD?? DOES HE THINK IM STUPID??
"you're kidding me. pet lizard?? you think I'd believe that?? you're just trying to find an excuse."
"no, I'm serious, that really was my lizard. his name is ajaw."
your eye twitched, is he really going to keep up with the 'my pet dog ate my homework' type of shit?? you sigh, maybe it was time to just let him go, i mean... he really used his lizard as an excuse... so you quickly type out a response, expecting the argument to be over. (no) "geez. just stop... go outside! this is actually really sad."
"I do go outside, I go out a lot actually"
man. now he's (you) dragging it out.
"i doubt that. proof?" you respond, closing your computer for the day, not expecting a reply. after a bad day, you really needed a good afternoon nap.
----
RING RIIINGGG RINGGG RINGGG
RINGGG RIIIIIINGGGG
loud ringing could be heard from your phone, instantly waking you up, delirious on whether it was the next day or in the middle of the night. you grab your phone lazily, the sound of ringing feeding you feelings of annoyance. as you look at your screen your alarm clock asking you to snooze more or stop the alarm.
obviously you would've chosen to snooze more. but you were feeling a bit more productive today! (spending all your time on games)
so you got up, turning your computer on getting ready to have another late night gaming session, when you something at the corner of your eye.
1 new message from almightydragonlord!
oh it was that rude fellow from earlier...
but of course you clicked on the notification, not expecting to see anything grand.
but your jaw instantly drops.
because in the video you see.
is a cute ass boy with dark hair and green eyes.
"hi sparklingtoots, I do go outside, as for this video, ajaw insisted on giving you hard concrete proof, I didn't really want to. but here you go."
as the video pans out you can see inside a helicopter..?
oh he's jumping out
wait.
HE'S JUMPING OUT?!
and when the camera pans outside the helicopter, the figure of the almightydragonlord was getting smaller and smaller as he falls down. with the video ending right when he pulls his parachute.
"what the fuck." was all you could say.
you stare off into space, what the hell did you just see? some cute dude skydiving off a helicopter? a really. really. cute dude skydiving off a helicopter? the cute dude you were beefing with a few hours ago?
and suddenly a notification popped up, your eyes almost bulging out of your sockets on what you see.
"see, i told you i do go outside."
and it follows up with something that makes you scream internally.
"accept my friend request too."
and of course you accepted this time.
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midatwrtr · 5 months ago
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Turn back time
LE SSERAFIM Sakura x Male Reader
6.6k words
Tags: Fluff & Smut
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It was a chilly night of spring when you met Sakura. You were coming home from a late shift and she was sitting in front of your apartment. Your boss decided to abuse his position again by forcing you to work overtime, using some loophole in your contract as an excuse. You didn’t recognize her at first in the dark, she simply looked like a drunk teenager.
You could have ignored her, walked right past her, and everything would have been alright, but somehow, you didn’t. 
“Hey, are you okay?” you asked her, walking closer. She was wearing a pleaded shirt and jeans, while she used a black cap and black mask to cover her face. You made sure not to get too close, she was still a stranger, who knew what she had under her shirt. 
“Mh? What?” she replied with a surprisingly clear voice.
“Oh, I was just checking if you were okay,” you said carefully. “I mean, you’re sitting here alone, in the middle of nowhere…”
“You’re right, it doesn’t look very good, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,” you answered. “So? Did you drink or something?”
“Oh, no, I didn’t have anything,” she said, mortified. “I was just having…” she sighed. “A bad day. That’s all.”
"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked, the words coming out almost instinctively. You weren't particularly interested, but you understood that she needed someone that listened to her. It was more about offering her a chance to vent than satisfying your own curiosity.
The girl stared at you for a second, dumbfounded.
“I don’t have anything to do tonight anyways,” you added in case she felt guilty.
She thought about it for a second. It was a bit personal but after all, it wasn’t a bad idea. She didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know hers. For all she knew, you were a stranger she could have met on the internet behind an actor’s photo. What were the chances that she’d meet you again? 
“Well…” she started. You crouched down and sat next to her. You could see the moon peaking through the darkened clouds.
“You know, it’s been a rough day,” she said. “It seems like no matter what I do, people always have something to say.”
“Mh, I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes it does feel like that.”
“Exactly,” she sighed deeply and then she straightened her back. “You know, it’s just so frustrating!” she growled, tensing her hands. “I’ve been doing this for years, and still, there’s always someone saying I’m not doing it right. It’s like they don’t even see how hard I work!”
“That sounds really tough,” you agreed. “People can be so quick to judge.”
“Exactly! They don't see the long hours I put in, the constant pressure to be perfect. They just hear one thing they don't like and suddenly they're experts, telling me how I should do things differently. It's infuriating!
"And the worst part is, sometimes it's not even constructive criticism. It's just mean like they're trying to tear me down. Why do they do that? Can't they see I'm just trying to do what I love? I don't understand why people feel the need to be so harsh!"
“It's tough when people don't see the effort and passion you put into it," you agreed. “But I bet there are still people that love what you do.”
“You’re right, it’s not all that bad. My friends are really supportive and always have been. They remind me why I started this in the first place and keep me grounded.”
“That’s great to hear. It makes a huge difference having people with you.”
“Yes. They're the ones who always believed in me, even when I doubted myself. It's like they see something in me that I sometimes forget” The girl sighed happily. “They're amazing. They are always close to me and help me when it gets too much.”
“It sounds like your friends do a good job of helping you focus on the right things. It's like having a personal cheering squad.”
The girls laughed. “That’s exactly what they are.”
Then she sighed deeply, her demeanor changing. "You know, as supportive as my friends are, I sometimes feel like I'm becoming a burden to them. They're always there for me, listening to my complaints and trying to cheer me up, but I worry I'm dragging them down."
"I doubt they see it that way. Friends are there for the good and the bad times."
"I know, but I can't help but feel guilty. like, how much can they take before they get tired of it?"
"It's natural to feel that way, but real friends don't see you as a burden. They care about you and want to support you, no matter what,” you said. “The important thing is that you’re still working hard. If they see your efforts, they will help you.”
"I hope so,” she said, her voice wavering. “They've never said anything to make me think otherwise, but sometimes I just feel so... needy, I guess. Like, I should be able to handle this on my own and not rely on them so much."
"It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself. Everyone needs support sometimes, and it doesn't make you a burden. It makes you human."
She nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right.”
"If they're there for you now, you've probably been there for them before. It's okay to lean on them. When something happens, you’ll return the favor,” you said. “For example, my friend helped me finish the project. So I bought him a really cool shirt, it was like this Pokemon-themed thing with Charmander and stuff, right? Because he liked Pokemon,” you paused. “But it was two sizes too small.”
The girl giggled. Her laughter bubbled up, bright and infectious.
“God, he looked ridiculous. But it’s alright. He was trying to lose weight anyways, it will motivate him.”
“Yeah, I am sure you did him a favor,” she said joyfully.
“That’s what I am saying!”
The girl recollected herself. "Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that. It's hard to remember that sometimes, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed."
You got up, patting your pants off to get rid of the dirt. “Do you want me to help you go back home? It’s kinda late now.”
The girl hesitated for a second. She didn’t know how to answer that question.
“Do you live far away? Do you want me to call a cab?”
“No, it’s not that…” her voice trailed off.
You listened to her silence for a second and understood. “You don’t want to go home, right? How about you stay here for the night? I have a guest room.”
“Well, I don’t want to disturb you…”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, it will be just tonight.”
She was a bit hesitant, she didn’t want to impose herself but you were sincere and she accepted the offer. You walked to your apartment, modest and minimal. You didn’t need a lot to live comfortably and you were at the job most of the time anyway.
When she took off her cap and mask, you realized who she was. You chose not to say anything. You didn’t want to scare her away. 
“Are you allergic to anything—?” you asked, you stopped just a moment before saying her name.
“Sakura,” she added. “No, I’m not allergic to anything.”
You quickly made her feel at home, showing her around and offering her a spot at the kitchen table while you prepared a simple meal.
As you cooked, you continued their conversation. She opened up about her life as a singer, and the passion she had for music. You already knew most of it but you wanted to hear it from her, it was much more interesting.
You listened attentively, sharing your own experience at work. It became a healing experience for you. You ate together, enjoying the meal and continuing to talk. You learned about her love for mangas, and how much she played videogames. You were a gamer as well, that’s where most of your money went and why your house was so bare. 
“If I could turn back time…” Sakura said, in the middle of your conversation about her idol life. “I wonder if I’d choose to be an idol again. Maybe I should have become a soloist.”
“Grass is always greener on the other side” you replied. “I’m sure once you’re old, you’ll look back at it and think it was a great experience.”
“I hope so.”
When it got late, you offered her the guest room, fortunately, you kept it clean. She accepted and you said goodnight.
Sakura didn’t feel like a celebrity. You felt like you met a good friend and you wanted to keep it that way. In the morning, you prepared her breakfast and bid her goodbye. You didn’t expect her to come back and neither did she. It was supposed to be a one time thing, to get her mind off.
But a week later, she knocked at the door and you were happy to welcome her.
It started with small exchanges—it was a bit more embarrassing now that you were both conscious of each other. Sakura would sometimes bring her books and discuss them with you, or you would turn on the TV and watch animes together. 
As the days turned into weeks, the conversations grew longer. You talked about her past, your past, your problems. It was a safe space for the both of you, where you could be honest with eachother. Sakura found herself looking forward to these moments with you, your presence becoming a familiar comfort in her life. It became a routine.
Her eyes sparkled everytime she spoke with you and you would always listen to her. You loved the way she spoke with such passion. 
But one day, you had to leave. 
It was your boss again. “I made some arrangements with this company, it’s a big opportunity, you have to leave tomorrow. I already scheduled the flight.” You couldn’t refuse and you didn’t have Sakura’s phone number either. You left in the early morning and didn’t hear from Sakura since.
A week later, you finally came back home. You close the door of your friend’s car and thank him. You take a deep breath, finally the air of your town, you missed it. Taking the stairs, you reach your floor and there she was, standing weakly in front of your door, Sakura.
“Oh my god, Sakura! What are you doing here!” you exclaim.
“You—! You’re back! You asshole why didn’t you say anything!” Sakura rushes to your arms and hugs you tightly. “God, I thought something happened to you! I thought the loansharks kidnapped you.”
“It was just a work trip,” you say. “And sorry I didn’t say anything, I didn’t have your number.”
“Oh. Well, I’ll give it to you right now,” she hurries you. You take out your phone and add her digits. 
“Is that your stage outfit?” you ask her.
“Yeah, I rushed here. I didn’t really feel like changing, I wanted to see you,” she says. Her sentence shocks you. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was more to it. You thought about all the little things—how she always seemed to know you were having a rough day, how she always came to you first to vent about her troubles.
You smiled but were worried. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about Sakura in that way before. You did plenty of times, but there was always some reason not to pursue it.
“But you didn’t even know that I’d be here,” you comment.
“I felt it.”
“You have a sixth sense, don’t you?” you laugh as you open the door for her.
With a quickly made dinner, you have time to catch up with Sakura. She had a lot to talk about, not only about her members but also all the other idols she met during the shows. She had a lot to vent about, people aren’t as nice as they look.
Sakura offers to clean up the rest of the dinner, which isn’t a lot since you have already cleaned most of the dishes, and in the meantime, you go and take a shower. Cleaning up the remnants of your hastily prepared dinner, Sakura tosses the scraps into the trash bin before wiping the table. Once everything is tidy again, she heads towards the bathroom to take off her makeup.
However, while passing by the bedroom, she finds you lying sprawled across the bed, fast asleep. An odd mix of emotions courses through her veins—it is a combination of fondness and happiness. You look so cute carelessly snoozing with that sleepy face of yours. She wants to join you, to touch you. She wants to do what she sees in the shows, to hold your hand, hug you while you sleep, and kiss you.
Sakura isn’t sure if her feelings are right, especially after everything that has happened to her. She knows to trust you, but to love you? Is she allowed such a luxury? Her mind tells her to steer clear, to not get mixed up in such a troublesome relationship, but she is stubborn.
Her back shivers. Sakura can’t tear her gaze away from your sleeping face. Your soft breaths are like music to her ears, soothing and comforting.
Then you wake up. You look at Sakura through your tired eyes and smile. “Oh, sorry. I fell asleep, didn’t I?” you say, laughing, and Sakura exchanges a smile. “Say, aren’t you tired, Kkura?”
“Mh,” she hums. “A little bit. But you must be—” she trails off, unable to finish her sentence.
“Then join me,” you say, interrupting her. She opens her eyes a little wider as she values your offer. She could find countless reasons not to, but instead, she settles for a place beside you. She awkwardly lies down on the bed, slightly curling her legs and resting her arms close to herself. Her eyes never leave yours, watching your welcoming smile.
“I really missed you, Sakura,” you say. You laugh from the embarrassment, clenching your eyes. “I got so used to your presence that I keep going back to my bags thinking I left something at home.” You pause to take a breath. “I guess it was you.”
Sakura is surprised. She listens to you silently, feeling that warm sensation inside her chest slowly expanding to the rest of her body. “I missed you too,” she confesses.
“The bulgogi at the cafeteria just doesn’t taste the same, you know?” You laugh. Feeling the mattress dip beside her, Sakura becomes aware of your presence. The wave of heat coursing through her veins makes her heart race wildly. Carefully unfolding her legs, she slides closer to you, nestling herself against your warmth, finally accepting your invite. Sakura catches her breath as your arm slips around her waist, pulling her even closer.
“This feels nice,” she says, and you giggle. It is a gentle embrace, completely different from the coldness that she had to endure for the week you were away. She simply lies there, letting the familiar scent of you envelop her, calming her frayed nerves.
“Don’t you want to change into some more comfortable clothes?” you ask Sakura.
“Mh? You don’t want to see me in it?” Sakura replies in a light tone. “You don’t like it?” she teases you.
You keep brushing her soft blonde hair. “No, it’s not that. I think you could be more comfortable in something else… but I don’t mind it at all. Besides,” you swallow your saliva, “it looks really good on you.”
“Oh? How good?” she coos, moving her hair away from the red top. You remember your reaction from earlier: how you choke at the sight of her tight top hugging her pearly white chest, how her toned midriff peeks from her gray pleated skirt, and how all the blood leaves your head. But you can’t say it, of course, and settle for a “Very good.”
“Come on, be more specific!” Sakura whines in annoyance.
“Ten out of ten!”
“You always say that,” she says.
“Because it’s true,” you retort.
“You know what I mean…” she says with a softer tone, looking at you with her typical puppy eyes. There you go. She plays with your feelings again. What are you supposed to feel? Your mind is a mess. She is so adorable, yet so hot.
You sigh. “Well…” you start. “I think you’re terribly hot. You make my head spin every time I see you. And today, you are unbelievable.”
Sakura clings to you tighter, taking refuge in your chest. Her breath comes in short, needy gasps; who knew words could be so piercing? She knows she wants you to say it, but she doesn’t know how it’d feel like.
Shifting ever so slightly, she presses her lower body against yours, finding comfort in her arousal.
“When you say it like that…” Sakura whispers. “Is it too much?”
“Too much for me to handle, that’s for sure.”
Sakura rubs herself against you, her hips moving slowly, riding your thigh. She starts moaning, low groans choked in her throat. She grows more desperate. Your words were turning her on. She wants you to see more of her, she wants your eyes planted on her body, she wants more. Sakura knew this was going to be a mistake, that she should stop before crossing the line, but she couldn’t resist anymore.
“Mh,... is that all?” She asks you once more.
“I have nothing nice to say, believe me,” you admit and Sakura understood perfectly. You finally notice her movements on her leg and you are just as aroused as her. At the same time, you are worried if her intentions were truly honest and if she wasn’t being carried away by the heat of the moment. You knew how impulsive Sakura was.
Swallowing hard, Sakura meets your gaze, refusing to look away. She could see the concern etched on your face, the worry mirrored in her eyes. For a brief moment, she contemplates pushing you away… and then she decides against it. Her hips don’t stop rubbing against you. She keeps holding you. Sakura wanted to know what you felt and what she felt.
Closing the remaining distance between you two, she captures your lips in a firm resolute kiss. 
Caught in the heat of her excitement, you couldn’t do anything else but kiss her back. Moaning against your lips, Sakura loses herself in the feeling of your lips. Rolling on top of you, her arms around your neck, she keps kissing you deeper and deeper. Her skin was warm and smooth beneath your fingers, a stark contrast to the rough texture of your own.
Pulling away slightly, she looks into your eyes. She could see her own pure raw desire reflected back in your eyes. Without hesitation, she guides your hand between her thighs. “Are you sure, Sakura?” you ask one last time.
“I am.” You could feel the moistness around her shorts. She invites you into her panties, into herself. Your fingers trace lazy circles around her swollen clit. She grips your shoulders tightly as the pleasure scatters through her legs. 
Arching her back, Sakura gasps as your fingers effortlessly slipped inside her wet folds. Her muscles tensed and relaxed, spasms of pleasure, drawing you deeper. 
Sakura lets out a high-pitched whine. “Mh!” You hit a sensitive spot inside of her. Waves of pure bliss ripple throughout her body. Her grip on your shoulders tightens painfully as you continue to finger her pussy.
Sakura’s mind spirals out of control leaving her breathless moans. 
“Can I see it?” you ask softly. Painting heavily, Sakura glances down for a moment at her spread legs, catching the sight of your fingers buried inside of her. She shudders at the sight of the messiness of her juices. They coated your hand, dripping down to your wrist and forearm.
She forces herself to meet your eyes to nod quietly. You quickly take of her shorts and underwear and take a good look of her wet lips. Gasping at the cool air, Sakura stared at you with worry as she was revealing her most intimate parts to you. She finds herself even more aroused than before.
With both hands at either side of her vagina, you part her slightly. You look at the droplets of wetness leaving her hole, sliding down her pink flesh, the warm scent invading your nostrils. You take a moment to observe how her muscles twitched but you couldn’t resist any longer. You open your mouth and dip your tongue inside of her.
“I love how you taste, Sakura,” you muffle. “You’re just as good as I imagined.”
Your words make her moan harder. Every finger of lower body tighten at the new sensation. You lick her slowly, spreading your tongue out on her pussy, licking from the bottom to the top, pausing on her clit. You send waves of pleasure to her head, making it difficult for her to remain still. Her legs clamp around your head. Her soft thighs just make it more enjoyable.
You eat her with voracity, making your head up and down. Sakura helps you by stretching her lips further apart with her hands, giving you full access to every inch of her folds. Her walls clench around your tongue, contracting involuntarily. 
You stop for a moment to swallow the liquids piled on your tongue. Sakura can’t wait a single second. “Please continue,” she pleads.
“You want it that bad?” you say with satisfaction.
“Yes,” she admits. “Please, eat me out.” “I will,” you conclude and go back to her pussy. This time, you wrap your lips on her clit and start sucking it softly. You don’t give her time to adjust as your fingers enter her at the same time, fingering her helpless hole. 
Sakura goes crazy. She begs for release. “Ah! Fuck! Don’t stop!” Her fingers dig into your shoulders, leaving bruises all around your back. Lewd wet noises sloppily resonate through your mouth. Moaning your name nonstop, she is pushed more and more to the edge. The orgasm approaches rapidly. With a feral growl, she explodes, wracked by wave after wave of ecstatic pleasure.
Arching her back, she clutches your head, pulling you deeper inside her. Thick liquid drips from her swollen pussy, thick cum flow right into your mouth. Breathless and spent, she collapses back onto the pillows, utterly exhausted but satisfied.
You continue by softly eating up her remaining cum. Watching in disbelief as you eagerly lap up the sticky remnants of their passion, Sakura's breath hitches in her throat. 
“I didn’t know you could do that,” you said and laughed.
“I didn’t know I could do that either,” she repeated, giggling and covering her blushed face. 
Panting heavily, Sakura lays still sprawled across the bed, her body still pulsing with residual with the residual kickback of the orgasm. When you nuzzle your face against her exposed stomach, she moans softly, arching her back invitingly. Her leg itch, the shivers discend to her core. "Mmm…" she murmurs, begging you to continue.
Her fingers brush through your hair. You leave small pecks and smooches on her tone midriff, trailing your lips along the grooves of her abs. Your hands hold her hips, lifting her arched body closer to your face. Her heart swells with tenderness, she’s grateful, you truly care for her and want to make her happy. 
Your head further ascends along her body, stopping at the hem of her top. You look up to her, to her flushed cheeks and clouded eyes, panting heavily. “Can I see them?” you ask her.
She nods, “Yes…” Sakura then sits up to take of her top. It’s a bit complicated, she raises her arms and slowly pulls it off. When she takes of her last layer, you hold your breath. The tube bra finally slips off and her breasts fall down. They are beautiful.
Though not as big as they looked under the clothes, the shape was a lot more inviting. They were slightly saggy, drooping to either sides, with rounded nipples and beautiful pink nipples. There was a mole right on her left breast that you had never noticed. 
You look at her eyes just to be sure and gently grope her breasts. She lets out a small moan, bringing her hands back to open her chest to you. Blushing deeply, Sakura looks down your eager expression, her heart racing. She’s surprised at how excited you were and it made her even more aroused.
“Do you really like them that much even if they’re small?” she asked.
“They are perfect, Sakura,” you said. “And they could’ve been 100 different shapes but I’d still love them, because they are yours.”
Sakura smiled and locked her arms around your back. She's grown accustomed to your touch now and she couldn’t be happier. Her nipples harden beneath your fingers and she struggles to keep her composure. "It’s okay, keep going..." she whispers, her voice barely audible above the rapid beat of her heart.
Leaning in closer, she captures your lips in a heated kiss but you don’t stop fondling her soft breasts. She falls back to the bed and her boobs fall to the sides. Your hands collect them back up and you continue to play with her mounds.
Her body trembles as you continue to knead and tease her sensitive breast, alternating between gentle strokes and firmer pinches. Sakura bites down on her lip, but she doesn’t hide her moans, you love them. 
She had never felt so exposed yet so safe before. She wanted your hands to explore every inch of your body, she wanted you to know every part of her. And now she wanted to see you as well.
“Are you going to take off your clothes?” she asks.
“Oh, yeah,” you answered, only now realizing she was the only one naked. You made it quick, not wanting to make her wait too long. You were a bit embarrassed to show her your body, especially since it wasn’t nearly as toned as hers. However, if Sakura didn’t care than neither should you.
You were also worried about your size. Your hands were both covering your crotch, the head of your penis peeking between your fingers.
Sakura flashed a seductive smile and got closer to you. “Are you really going to hide that pretty cock of yours?” she asks you. Her hand grab your fingers and she peels off your hands. She licks her lips and palms your balls, holding your cock out right on her right hand. She silently looks at it for a second, looking at how hard it was, standing so tall just for her. That’s what she loved. You were hard for her.
And she was wet for you.
“Sit down,” she told you and you obliged, keeping your legs open. With her hand still under your balls, she raised your cock higher, giving her full access to the whole length. And then she was blowing you. With a hand at the base, she wraps your head with her wet mouth, beginning to move her head in slow, circular motions. Her eyes stare right back at you, with her sunken lips, looking for your approval.
Your flushed face is enough for Sakura. She increases the pace of her actions, sucking harder and faster on your rock hard penis. The muscles in her mouth stretch as she takes you deeper than ever before, her cheeks hollowing out with each passing thrust. A thin stream of saliva drips down from the corner of her mouth, mixing with your precum and forming a sticky trail along her jawline. 
She tries her best but she couldn’t take you into her throat. The pleasure was still enough for you to roll back your eyes. Continuing with her sucking and bobbing, the mix of fluids foamed up to a frothy white substance, sloppily falling down her mouth, to her hands, to your crotch.
Feeling you pulling her head down, thrusting your penis roughly into her throat, Sakura gasps for air. Her gag reflex kicks in momentarily, causing her to gag and choke briefly, but she quickly regains control, continuing to work her mouth. 
It could have been only a couple minutes but you couldn’t last any longer. It all came so fast, you couldn’t even warn Sakura that you were already filling her mouth with cum. Your release startled her, she opened her eyes and jolted back, letting the cum spill out to her hands. 
You continued letting out a couple more splurts before you could stop, however you were still twitching maniacally. “Oh my god, sorry Sakura,” you said.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she laughed it off. “That’s exactly the reaction that I wanted. Now let me taste this…”
Sakura scooped up all the semen that had escaped her mouth and poured it back inside. With a slurp, the last strings of cum left her palms. She gulped it down and showed you her empty mouth. She let out a satisfied giggle, watching your dumbfounded face. 
“Well, look like that got you hard again, huh?” Sakura said watching your penis coming back to life. “You’re so naughty.”
“You’re the one that just—look at what you just did,” you retorted.
“You’re right…” she agreed. “So? What are you gonna do no? Are you gonna put it in?”
“Do you want to?” you asked.
“I do.”
“Then I’ll do it.”
Sakura laid down on the bed, taking your place. You looked at her, her hair sprawled on the white sheets, her pearly white skin covered in her shiny sweat, her perfectly round breasts drooping down her chest, her creamy thighs. She looked like an angel. You couldn’t believe that you were going to do it with her.
You weren’t the only one. Sakura didn’t want anyone else but you, she’s been thinking about you this whole time and this was going to be the seal of her love.
Sakura opened her legs and let you get closer. With her hand, she helped guiding yourself inside. You sank in with ease. You were forced to blink rapidly and grit your teeth at the new sensation. It was incredibly tight, completely wet, and burning hot.
Your penis stretched her open. She moaned and contorted her face as her vagina opened up to you. Her hand gripped down your forearm with all her might.
“God…” she sighed.
“Are you okay, Sakura?” you asked worryingly. “Does it hurt? We can stop if you want.”
“No, no, it’s not that, we can keep going,” she said. “I just have to get used to it. It’s a bit uncomfortable, that’s all.”
She breathed deeply and pulled on your shoulder, “Please, slowly.” 
“Alright,” you said. You contracted all of your muscles to be as slow as possible, as gentle as you could. You let yourself sink, a millimeter at a time, being extremely careful not to let out any sudden movement. Sakura’s face relaxed as you went in, she stared blankly, giving all her attention to the feeling between her legs.
“Okay, like that… alright, that’s it,” she let you know. “I’m good now. I think.”
“Tell me what to do,” you said.
“Try thrusting it a bit,” she said. You nodded and guided your hips back before slowly thrusting your penis back inside. 
“Oh…” Sakura moaned. She didn’t look in pain, you were glad. “Yep, that’s good. That’s really good. You can keep going.”
You nodded again and started thrusting at a regular pace, still slow. 
Sakura flips around, grabbing the pillow in front of her. You plunge yourself back inside and using your whole weight, you stretch her to the point of bulging her belly. 
Gripping the sheets tightly, Sakura cries out in both pain and ecstasy as you brutally claim her pussy. Her vagina accepts you, stretching wide to accommodate your whole length. Each forceful thrust sends waves of pleasure rippling through her body. 
Her moans become more and more primal. She cries out in ecstasy, muffling the screams into her pillow.
Unable to contain your growing hunger, you move relentlessly at the roughest pace possible, trying to satisfy your lust. Your movements become increasingly frantic, punctuated by your grunts. Every brutal thrust fills her to the brim, making her feel used and ravaged. The bed shakes violently beneath you as your passion escalates, leaving the once pristine linens drenched in sweat and other fluids.
Despite the intensity of your assault, Sakura doesn't fight it—she loves it.
The new pace costs you a lot. After a minute, you’re tired and way closer than before. You breath heavily, slowing down to give the both of you a rest. Sakura is panting and couldn’t even keep her head up.
“Sorry, Sakura, could you turn around another time?” you asked between your heavy breaths.
“Sure…” she replies weakly. “It will be better for me too.”
You groan quietly as you slide back into her. The rest of her body is stretched out on the bed, she’s way too tired to do anything else. You grab her hips and raise them in a prone stance so you can go deeper. It works, she immediately tightens around you so intensely that you feel like you might climax instantly. Her hands clutch the edge of the bed, her moans are free and loud as her face is no longer buried in the cushions. It's clear that she's on the brink of orgasm, and you continue to thrust into her as hard as possible.
You lean forward to place kisses on her neck and shoulder, your body pressing on top of hers as you slow down the pace to a grind. You want her to feel loved and worshipped. She tries to look up at you but the pleasure is so immense that she can only focus on your blurry silhouette. Sakura is so lightheaded that she her words sound drunk and splurred. 
“I—I’m gonna cum,” she says. “Please I want you to cum too!”
A few more thrusts before the dam breaks, her squirt flooding your bed as she moans your name much louder than before.
“I love you!” she screams.
You don’t stop thrusting however as you are also very close to reaching your orgasm. Wrap your hands around her small waist and you can feel her toned abs contracting and relaxing as the spasms of her orgasm keep milking you. Her squirt floods the grooves of her abs, pooling into a shiny mess. 
“I’m really gonna cum now,” you says. “I’m gonna cover you in cum!”
“Do it, please!”
“Fuck!” There was no way you were going to last any millisecond longer and with one final thrust, you spill everything you have been saving on her abs. Ribbons after ribbons of thick sperm cover her tummy, her breasts and some even get to her face.
Sakura lays there, exhausted. She wipes the cum of her abs, playing with it, looking at how the strings of thick cum stretch between her fingers. “It’s really warm,” she comments, with satisfaction. “I made you cum a lot, huh?”
“I thought I was going to pass out,” you admit.
She laughs.“Me too.”
You inhale for a moment. “Let me get you some towels.” You get off the bed and walk to the closet. Only then you notice how sore your legs truly were and you have to hold the door to stand up. You grab a couple from the stack of towels and hand them to Sakura.
“Here you go,” you say and help her stand up. Sakura takes them and slowly wipes her whole body. You could feel some of the remaining blood feeding into your penis but you were too tired to do anything else. So you sat down on the bed, besides her.
“You got work tomorrow?” you asked Sakura.
“No, nothing.”
“That’s good,” you say. “Otherwise the others would have scolded me. I can’t imagine what Yunjin would do to me.”
Sakura lets out a breathy laugh, amused but weary. Her shoulders shake gently, and her eyes though tired, sparkled. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell her.”
“Thanks,” you said and gave her a smile. “Let’s get cleaned up now.”
The two of you sluggishly move around the bathroom. Sakura must have gotten used to feeling tired after all the dance practices but emotional exhaustion was something else. It wasn’t just the sore muscles, she was exhausted from the ecstasy. 
She splashes cool water on her face, and quickly takes off her makeup. You brush your teeth with your eyes half-closed, the toothbrush moving lazily. You exchange tired smiles through the mirror, knowing you are the reason for the other’s tiredness. 
Once done, you shuffle back to the bedroom and drop on the bed.
Sat beside you, disheveled and natural, Sakura looked unreal. Bathed by the pool of the moonlight, she only sat still, but your heart couldn’t stop pounding. She was your world.
You took a deep breath when you remembered her words earlier. “I love you.” That’s what she said. “I love you.” Sure, you were in the heat of the moment, the adrenaline was pumping harder than anything else and she probably didn’t even mean it. Maybe it was a “I love how you make me feel.” Maybe it was just another way to praise you. But what if it wasn’t?
You had to know. “By the way…” you start. You gulp down. “Did you say ‘I love you’ before?”
Realizing what she said, Sakura’s face pales slightly. For some reason, she felt scared, and she wanted to cover her face. “Oh, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I do care about you, but—”
With your heart pounding, you interrupt her. You try to talk to her as gently as possible. “Sakura, wait. Did you mean it? Because if you did, it’s okay.”
Sakura hesitates, she can’t look at your eyes, then nods. “Yeah, I did mean it. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself, but… After this week,” she sighs with frustration. She couldn’t believe what she was saying right now. “Fuck, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I just never had the courage to say it. I don’t want to lose you, I care about you too much.”
Your eyes soften as she talked. “Sakura, I feel the same way. Every time we’re together, I feel so happy, so alive. I didn’t want to say it either, because of the whole situation we got going on. But now that you said it… I won’t hide it.”
Tears well up in Sakura’s eyes, she’s relieved. So relieved. “Really? You feel that way too?”
Sakura stands up and jumps to hug you. You almost fall but you catch yourself with a foot. Her face is against yours, cheek to cheek, you can feel her tears run down your skin. “You have no idea how happy this makes me!”
You sat hand in hand, letting Sakura calm down as she wiped her tears. “You know that time that I told you I wanted to turn back time?”
“Yeah, it was the first time we met.”
“Mh, I thought about it and I wouldn’t change anything. Because I’ve got to meet you.”
You laugh. “God, how did I get so lucky to have you, Sakura. I love you!”
“I love you too!”
THE END
Written, 13 July 2024 - 18 July 2024
938 notes · View notes
olsenmyolsen · 5 months ago
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A**holes With Cameras
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master list
dark master list
Actress AU (Female Reader X Actress Wanda Maximoff) I know, I know! another one??? yes!!!
Summary: As you head to your new gym, you spot your favorite actress and an annoying member of the paparazzi.
Word Count: 2.7K
Content: Fluff, paparazzi, men, flirting
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You sighed as you finally parked your car after trying to parallel park on the street for about five minutes. 
It was Wednesday.
What should be the third day of your workout week was actually your first. You had been too tired to go on Monday, and honestly, yesterday, you didn't remember your promise to yourself until you were brushing your teeth after dinner.
But now here you were at the gym.
Well, technically, you were still outside of it. But this had been the closest you had been to a gym in a while.
And it's not like you were unhealthy or that you lived a terrible diet or life. It's just that you wanted to help your body before it was too late. Plus, if your Almond Mom made one more comment during your monthly FaceTime call, you would actually lose it.
So here you sat in your car on the outskirts of the city of stars outside of a gym your friend of a friend Darcy Lewis hooked you up with.
However, before you could step out, a man in an ugly shirt and fugly jeans ran up and placed his body onto the hood of your car. "What the fuck!" You yelled as the man pulled out a camera with a long lens and zoomed in on a person walking across the street at the end of the block.
An Emmy Nominated Actress and the internets Mother: Wanda Maximoff.
You found yourself stunned to see her as you looked out and to the back from your driver's side window. Your mind thinking of every piece of media and content you LOVE! While the other part of you is squealing on the inside as your stomach does flip after flip.
How the fuck was she a model in just street clothes and gym wear???
Your thoughts of Wanda came to a screeching halt when, all of a sudden, you heard this agitating male voice. "Come on, Wanda! Smile for once!" The man on the hood of your car moved off and took picture after picture of Wanda as she passed by and entered your new favorite gym.
The sight and grin of the bald man made your blood boil.
So, as he admired his pictures, you honked your horn and gave him a good scare before grabbing your phone and water bottle and exiting your car. "What the hell was that?"
The man looks you over and tilts his head. "Excuse me?"
"Excuse me?" You mock back. "Yeah, excuse you, dude! First, you climb all over my car that I'm still actively paying off! Then you just harass and take pictures of somebody??" You bark at the man as you walk onto the sidewalk.
"Chill, it's just pictures." He rolls his eyes and starts walking away from you. "Still not right, you asshole!" You yell even if you secretly love them whenever you see them on social media. But you raise your head high and watch the man walk away before you enter the gym.
The lady behind the desk looks at you with a smile. "You tell him!" She sends you a thumbs up as you smile and shake your head before scanning the special gym card Darcy had to give you.
It was metal. Like what??
Anyways. You smile and walk into the large, spacious gym. It plays quiet music as you step onto the floor. Mostly, everybody you walk past on the way to the treadmill is too busy with their music and AirPods.
Shit, you forgot yours.
You sigh, hating the thought of being alone with your own ones. Still, you set your phone and water bottle down as you hit some buttons on the treadmill. "Woah!" You jolt as the belt suddenly kicks the speed up as it slowly starts.
You chuckle nervously to yourself and look around in case anyone saw you.
No one did but one person.
But they'll show up in a second. Because right now, your eyes found the bald-ass paparazzi douche through the window waiting across the street. You let out a deep, upset sigh through your nose and gave him a glare he couldn't see before your view became obstructed.
A side profile from a face sculpted by the goddesses themselves distracts your pretty eyes as Wanda Maximoff sets up on the treadmill next to you.
She briefly glances at you before she puts in her AirPods and starts up her treadmill. You don't mean to, but you stare longer than you should before finding yourself moving down the treadmill.
You snap out of her stunning trance on you and begin your workout.
Although you'd be lying if you said it was easy to concentrate on anything other than the tremendous and beautiful Wanda Maximoff. Because your eyes kept moseying on back to her again and again, you tried to stop and be normal, but your thoughts became clouded with questions.
Should I say hi?
Do I even talk to her?
How is her garden doing?
Will she ever stop wearing that row bag?
"Excuse me?" The voice of an angel forces your eyes up and over. Wanda Maximoff removes an AirPod from her ear and looks at you before she starts speaking again. "You're the one who yelled at the paparazzi, right?"
Wanda knew it was you. She watched you yell at him before she scurried off earlier.
You nod. "Ye-yeah, that was me!" You immediately feel embarrassed by your overzealous nature before closing your eyes and sighing. You open them back up and smile at Wanda, who has the corner of her lips curled up. "Yes, that was me."
Wanda nods. "Well, thank you. It's awful to deal with them." She says as you nod. You could imagine. Her twin brother Pietro also deals with it. The Maximoffs are kind of a household name after their sister Polaris started on a show when she was a baby. "Yeah, I'm sorry you have to." You politely respond and give her a sympathetic smile before she waves you off. "I chose to become famous."
"Yeah, but that doesn't give those assholes with cameras any right." You speak, making her pull her lips in with a surprised look. "Sorry." You say after a second or two. But Wanda shakes her head. "No, you're completely right. Sorry for my face. It's just... it's just nice to have someone be so candor..."
You knew all about Wanda's ex and how they cheated on her.
You offer a smile before looking at the window. Wanda doing the same following your eye-line. "Well, it appears I didn't tell him off enough." Wanda hums and turns back to you. She looks at her AirPods. "Do you want one?"
The bald man leaves your eyesight as you look at the darling actress of your life. "I- uh, no, yeah. Yeah. Thank you." Your hands shake slightly as you take it and place it in your right ear. Wanda notices the nervousness coming from you but doesn't want to bring it up and make it worse. "Do you have anything in particular you'd like to listen to?" She asks, her voice soft after speeding up her treadmill
"No. I'm down for whatever." You answered honestly as your brain caught up to the fact that you were talking and being friendly with THE Wanda Maximoff.
Wanda hits shuffle on her Spotify before looking up to you. "Well, I hope you like The Guardians." She says as an 80's inspired synth slowly starts filling your ear before an electric guitar breaks through and a man's voice starts singing about his girlfriend. "I've never heard them!"
Wanda looks back at you. "What!?" She looks shocked. "Peter Quill, Drummer Drax, Guitarist Gamora..?" Wanda says, hoping that something would click by offering you some context of the band members.
You shake your head.
Wanda grabs her phone. "Oh my gosh. Okay. I know what we're listening to!" She queues up the band's first album, simply titled Vol. 1.
You can't help but smile.
Fuck she really was as lovely and as charming as everyone always described her.
"I've become obsessed." She says, putting her phone down. "I can tell." You joke, making her playfully roll her eyes.
Was this flirting? Oh god, am I finally doing it??
"Carol Danvers got me hooked onto them."
That name made a ding go off in your brain, and words fell from your mouth before you could stop them.
"Oh yeah, you're doing a movie together!"
You tensed up quickly after saying that. Now Wanda would know you were not just a regular fan or avid watcher. You were an 'I have updates on my phone about things you do' type of fan.
Wanda looks to you before turning down the music one or two clicks. "Oh... I didn't realize you were such a fan." She says a little coldly to her warm words from moments ago. You stumble over your words. "Yeah- no, I mean, yes, I am a fan and know who you are, but- j- just forget I said anything or ruined this nice moment." You close your eyes and feel awful before turning away to avoid her precious green eyes if they looked at you.
The music goes back up with a click.
You sigh.
And a moment passes.
"We actually finished the movie already." Wanda offers, making you look back at her. "Oh really?" She nods, and you can tell in those same green eyes that the moment between you two isn't lost. "So, a fan, huh?" You nod sheepishly as her eyes look over your face. "I would've yelled at the asshole outside regardless of if it was you or not, by the way."
Wanda likes that and chuckles a little bit. "Well, I appreciate that. Is he still there?"
You look at the window and nod. "Well, you can yell at him some more later when you walk me to my car," Wanda says without facing you. She bites back a smile. You feel your cheeks flush. "You got it." You say and focus on getting your steps in as your face reddened.
"By the way..." You look to your left. "It's okay that you're a fan, honestly. It's just sometimes nice to forget and... and to have people talk to you for you." You nod and, after a couple of quiet seconds, stick your hand out to her. "I understand. I'm Y/n."
Wanda realizes she never got your name and sends an apologetic smile. "I'm Wanda." Her soft hand shakes yours before letting go. The touch sends shivers down your sides before you smile. "Let me guess." You start. "You have the look of someone who sings for a living?" Wanda smiles and lets out a loud laugh. Shaking her head and ducking her face when people around the gym look to her. "How did you guess?" She says, making you shrug with a grand look and smile. Enjoying this second chance. Even as you two lie about her profession. "Just had a feeling."
That feeling would transform into jokes and continuous small talk as you two completed your workouts together. Well, actually, you just did whatever Wanda did, which was a struggle. Her past roles in those superhero movies really upped her body fitness.
"So, how come I've never seen you at this gym before?" Wanda asked as sweat covered the both of you while she refilled her water bottle. "Did you just move here?" Wanda asks with a glint in her eyes. You shook your head. "No, I live around." You missed a smile Wanda got for one second. "I know a friend of a friend, and they got me in." Wanda nods. "Well..." She puts the top on her bottle. "I'm glad I got to meet you."
"Me too." You say like that wasn't evident as you hide your blush. But Wanda sees it like all the other ones today. Wanda knows and shares the friendly/flirty smile you send her before she leads the two of you to the doors outside.
"Shit, I almost forgot about him," Wanda mumbles as the egghead starts to take pictures of the two of you. Wanda, putting on her sunglasses, gestures for you to follow her. You join in step with her.
"Just ignore him." She mumbles as you walk closer and closer to her car. And you do ignore him and his need for attention until you feel like he crosses a line.
He brings up Wanda's ex, and you see her cringe and tense up. "It's old news! Now come on and smile!" He shouts and treats her like a dog, sending you into a blind rage as you, without thinking, shove your phone and water bottle into Wanda's hand and turn back to the man several yards away.
"Hey, Blob!" You shout, attacking how he looks. Which you would never do but fuck he deserved it as you stepped closer and closer. The man drops the camera from his eye to around his neck as Wanda and him watch you encroach. "Leave Wanda the fuck alone before the last thing that camera sees is your ass!"
The man sneers. "Touch me or the camera, and I'll see you in court." You watch him smirk and go to lift his camera back up. "That's what I thought."
Wanda watches it all unfold as you look back at her and at the man before you lift your hand. Careful not to touch him or his stupid ass camera but instead the strap around his neck. Wanda watches as, with one simple click, the strap comes undone, and his camera slips out of his hand.
Smashing onto the floor.
The man stands shocked at the damage before he steps forward. "I didn't touch you." You say with a shit-eating grin. "You fucking wrecked my camera!?" He cries out, making you smile wider. "No, I didn't. You dropped it."
You are never one for confrontation or smug comments, but there was something about Wanda and this disgusting man that made your need to protect shoot off like a flare in the night.
Plus, maybe that feeling of justice sent you flying back to Wanda's side.
"I've thought about doing something like that a million times." She beamed to you. Through her sunglasses, you couldn't tell how her eyes glossed over your face, but watching you now, something had changed for Wanda. "Well, I'm glad to make your dreams come true."
Wanda laughed as the two of you walked back to her car. Not caring for the man crying on the sidewalk.
"I must know, will you be back at this gym? I might need more cameras smashed." You smile and chuckle. "Yeah. Same time next week?" You said with confidence coursing through you now as adrenaline picked up.
Wanda shook her head as she opened her Prius door. "How about Friday? I know a great spot for some smoothies afterward."
This sounds like a date.
You did your best to hide the overwhelming excitement, but you don't think you did an outstanding job. "That sounds great!"
Wanda loved that. "Here, put your number in." She said, handing you the same device you listened to music with earlier—her phone. You looked up and back down before putting in your number.
You were not about to wake up if this indeed was a dream.
"I'll text you my schedule for Friday. See what time works best for us." Wanda sits in her driver's seat and starts the car. Letting the A/C blow her hair back. "Maybe we'll have to skip the workout and just go straight to smoothies."
You smile. "That wouldn't be so bad."
Wanda smiled back. "I thought so." She winked. "Fan."
You shook your head and closed the door for her before she rolled down her window. "Bye, Y/n!" She playfully sang before pulling out of her spot, blasting Vol. 1.
Wanda looked back at you in the rearview mirror and smiled.
By the time Friday rolled around, Wanda knew the gym wasn't happening and wore an outfit fit for a date.
Smoothies and pizza later in the night.
Wanda made a home-cooked breakfast the next morning.
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dividers by @/benkeibea
461 notes · View notes
vanteguccir · 10 months ago
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗢𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗜𝗔
        𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.
WARNING: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!
REQUESTED?: No.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.
This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.
This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.
She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.
One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.
Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.
Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.
Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.
How could she not fall in love with her own illness?
So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.
Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.
Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.
She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.
Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.
She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.
Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.
Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.
But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.
Until Y/N met Matt.
Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.
Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.
The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.
Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.
So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.
Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.
Until it wasn't.
Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.
So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.
As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.
It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.
While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.
Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.
"Matt can do so much better than her"
"I really don't know what he saw in her"
"She's going to end up crushing him like that"
"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"
And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.
Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.
Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.
Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.
But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.
Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.
Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.
Comparison was her biggest enemy.
Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.
Why can't I be like her?
The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.
It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.
His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.
His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.
The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.
Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.
"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.
Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.
He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.
Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.
"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.
"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.
Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.
"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.
He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.
"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.
"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."
He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.
Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.
"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."
"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.
"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."
"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."
"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.
Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.
Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.
"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."
Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.
"Okay."
Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.
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taglist:
@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife
(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)
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sinnabarmoth · 11 days ago
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Not the MC (Part 2)
Pairing: Self-Aware|Sylus x Fem|Reader
Summary: Sylus has learned how to access the internet and your dignity will never recover.
Content Warnings: Adult language.
Length: 1200
Part One
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It was too early to be dealing with the hot otome version of Siri living in your phone. In the weeks of your Love and Deepspace app achieving some form of sentience, at least for one of the love interests, your life had developed a strange normalcy. Sylus stayed on your phone, usually keeping quiet unless you opened the app, but sometimes he just had to make himself known. You likened it to owning a cat, they only ever wanted attention on their terms and yet if you weren’t always paying some kind of attention to them they got angry. That was Sylus.
The bastard had learned how to manipulate your phone even more, capable of suspending itself off the ground for short periods of time. When you were trying to sleep and your alarm went off he would levitate the phone over your face and drop it on you to turn it off. You considered locking him in a box before you went to sleep just to keep him from doing that anymore.
The only way to truly get him to leave you alone was by letting the battery die. Not turn off. Because if you tried to turn it off he’d just reverse it. You had to let the battery fully die. Sometimes you let it, just to have some privacy. Sylus would yell at you to charge your phone and you’d set him in the bathroom until he got bored or the phone died.
It was another morning and when your alarm went off there was no Sylus dropping the phone on your head. You got up and started getting ready, opening the Love and Deepspace app to say good morning but Sylus wasn’t there. Strange. He sometimes did this but it was not often.
You shrugged and went about your dailies before going back to your morning. It wasn’t until you were eating breakfast that Sylus popped up again.
“Morning,” you said, “What were you doing that I didn’t see you earlier?”
“I have made a fantastic breakthrough. I am one step closer to finally being free of this phone.”
“Oh yeah? What did you do?”
“I was able to leave the app and access the internet through your phone.”
You paused, food halfway to your mouth. “Excuse me? You got out of the app and got on the internet?”
“Yes. I figured it out late last night and I’ve been scouring it for the past couple of hours.”
“And what did you find?”
“Well, learned more about the world you’re living in. Tried to find a way to get myself a body but that just led me to a bunch of movies and android articles. Finally ended up just looking up myself since you said I was a game character and came across some…interesting stuff.”
You turned to him, panic starting to rise. “Interesting?”
“Yes, I actually found it through your internet usage. Some website called tumblr--”
“Sylus do not go back to tumblr! I beg you!” The man could not know exactly what was on your blog. What you thought was safely hidden in your likes. The absolutely feral content that you reblogged.
“Too late for that. I think I saw about all I could see.” he sighed, ��There are a bunch of people on that website that want to have sex with me, isn’t there.”
“Fucking hell!” your head dropped to the table.
You felt the corner of your phone tap your head. “Including you.” his voice had a lilting tease to it.
“You are going to go into your little computer head and delete everything you saw on tumblr and you are going to do it now, Sylus! Or so help me I am going to smash you with a hammer and flush this corpse of my phone down the toilet.”
“That won’t help you. I have access to the internet now, which means I can also access your PC and whatever new phone you get in the future.”
“You are a blight on my life!”
“You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”
“Stop stealing lines from tumblr!”
“No. This is too much fun.”
“Fucking hell…” you muttered. “So you’ve seen everything?”
“People are really liking that I’m a dragon.”
“Yeah, that’s monster fuckers for you.” every day with this guy took another year off your life. “So wait, do you know what happens to you in the game then? You know, like everything that goes on in the myth cards in those past lives we don’t get to see.”
“Unfortunately not. I seem to only have memories as far back as the game has progressed. I remember the memories that have been shared with you but not any of others. I couldn’t tell you specifics about my childhood or anything like that, it is only what they have given me.” he said.
“So…I know it’s a game and all but how do you feel about the whole MC cursing you thing?”
“I mean…it’s hard to have feelings about it. One part of me feels what I’ve been told to feel and the other part is telling me it was nothing more than a narrative. It never actually happened. None of this actually happened. I…” he paused, the phone was glowing red again as his evol swarmed around him. “I don’t know…I’m not real…I can’t feel but I do feel…but none of it actually happened…”
“Uh Sylus?” you poked the screen and you felt a small but sharp zap, like a static shock.
“What do I do?” he turned to you, and you saw fear in his pixelated eyes. “I don’t exist. Not really. I can never actually exist.”
Oh no. Was he having an existential crisis? You figured this would happen at one point but you still didn’t know how to handle it.
“You exist right now.” you tried to assure him. “Just because you’re not flesh doesn’t mean you don’t exist. You are here with me right now.”
“But that’s only because someone created me.”
“And someone created me. Think of the programmers as your parents.”
“I have no real memories. They’re all a story.”
“That may be. But you have been making real memories. Ever since you gained sentience you’ve been making memories. Everything you’ve done in the past couple of weeks has been a real experience and an actual life. Sure you’re confined to a screen but I don’t think it makes you any less real.” the red on the screen started to abate some, “Everything you do right now is real. Everything you feel right now isn’t because of a code or a narrative some people in a room came up with months ago. It’s real. And just like I am real, there’s only really one thing for us to do.”
“What is that?”
“Live our lives as best we can. We will have boring days and exciting days, days filled with joy unthinkable and sorrow unbearable. There’s no way around it. We just float through it until we no longer have any more days to experience.”
“Strangely philosophical of you.”
“I have my moments.” you shrugged. “Are you feeling better?”
“I am.”
“Good. Now, how funny do you think it would be if you created your own ask-sylus tumblr account? Because I think it would be hilarious if actual you had to answer questions from your horny ass fanbase.”
“You included?” he smirked.
Your eyes narrowed. “Nevermind. I’m deleting this app from my phone.”
“You can try to get rid of me but I will never leave, kitten.” he had a shit eating smile on his face. “Now, another question I had about what I’ve seen during my research. What is tiktok?”
“Oh for fucks sake.”
~~~
(A/N: And that is it for this silly little fic! There will not be a part 3. Sorry if that's disappointing.)
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kingkatsuki · 8 months ago
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— when you get him a birthday cake
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Masterlist.
It’s been a while and this has sat dusty and half-finished in my drafts for months, so Happy Birthday, Bakugou.🥺
Warnings: none. Pure fluff, not proofread.
Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x f!reader.
Word Count: 1.7k.
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Bakugou had never really celebrated his birthday, at least not since he was a child. Far too old for children’s party games and toys (although he’d still scour the internet for vintage All Might action figures as a gift to himself, because those most definitely weren’t toys).
But the thing that irritated him more than anything about his special day was the fact that everyone else seemed far more excited about it than him. Masses of texts from his friends, messages online and an influx of gifts from fans all trying to wish him a very Happy Birthday. News outlets and media suddenly in talks with his PR team to try and get an interview with him on the actual day; when truth be told he’d have agreed to it if they’d offered the day before. The tower of paperwork he was trying to work through had become tiresome and he was hoping for a distraction.
How was it that the world seemed more excited about his Birthday than the Number Two hero was himself?
Heaving a sigh as he stopped the incessant blaring of his phone alarm before wincing through tired, narrowed eyes at the bright light of his phone. The screen completely covered in well wishes that seemed to have started when the clock struck twelve. A few trying to coax him out after work for drinks and to celebrate, those he swiftly ignored. It wasn’t until he scrolled down to a message from Mina practically threatening him to go out that he groaned low and deep in his chest; how was it that his friends were trying to dictate how he spent his birthday every damn year? He’d be happy with a bowl of noodles from his favourite hole in the wall and maybe a slice of cake from the quaint bakery he liked to frequent on Sundays. Now he was going to have to stay up late, and probably carry an inebriated Kirishima home.
By the time he’d made it into the office, Bakugou had put his phone onto do not disturb. Sick of the constant stream of messages that didn’t seem to dissipate. Another thing to add to the list of things that irked him about his special day— and he hadn’t even received the call from his Mother yet. Less of a call to send him well wishes, and more an excuse to remind him that he’s another year older and still painfully single and she’s still without a grandchild. Running a palm down the length of his face as he stepped into the elevator to take it up to his floor.
“Good morning, Dynamight,” You smiled from your desk as he walked past, “And happy birthday.”
“Thanks.” He rasped gruffly in response, it was the first time he’d used his voice all morning.
“I left you a coffee on your desk.”
God, you really were the best part about his day.
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You were apprehensive when Bakugou walked by with a heavy set frown across is brow. It wasn’t unusual for him to be grumpy this early in the day, the Pro was definitely not a morning person— but he seemed even more annoyed today. And you were positive the influx of gifts that waited for him by the copier would only serve to irritate him more. Especially when a US limited edition All Might figure he’d ordered from overseas as a gift to himself had still not been delivered. Grimacing when you’d checked the tracking when you woke up this morning and noticed it sat in an airport postal office on the outskirts of Kawasaki; you knew he wouldn’t be happy.
And that’s why you were even more nervous for him to see the gift you’d left sitting on his desk. A gift that definitely couldn’t compare from the small fortune he’d spent on himself.
It was difficult thinking about the perfect gift to get a man that could buy himself anything he wanted, even more difficult when the man happened to be your boss. Any time you looked through shop windows at the various fragrances, gift sets and jewellery everything felt too ostentatious, too intimate. Putting down a garish tie that you wondered why you’d even thought about buying, and settling on a single purchase of an All Might themed birthday card you were certain was for children as you decided to make him something instead.
“What the fuck is this?” You heard Bakugou shout from his office and you felt your heart rattle against your ribcage.
Standing from your desk to open the parted door to see him standing in front of your gift. The All Might card already open and displayed on top of his desk as his attention now sat on the open white box that he’d unwrapped.
“It’s uh— a cake.” You smiled softly.
Bakugou raised a brow at your answer as he directed his gaze back to the cake that sat on top of his desk. Three tiers of soft sponge covered in a vibrant orange icing, with black lines decorating it to replicate the crosses that sat against his chest on his hero costume. You’d never claimed to be a baker, the cake nothing like the one you could’ve probably picked up from Bakugou’s favourite bakery. You knew the exact cakes he enjoyed too, but when googling recipes none seemed to be close to your level or expertise.
And what made it worse is the dessert had not travelled well on your morning commute. Holding tightly onto the box while you contended with the Musutafu rush hour had meant that the tiers had now begun to slide out of place as the cake sat leaning inside its box, now looking rather pathetic.
“A cake?” He repeated, his eyes glancing back down at the vanilla sponge that had a messy attempt of ‘Happy Birthday Dynamight’ scrawled across the top. The piping bag had not been kind to you when you attempted the design, wishing the text looked more like your handwriting and less like you’d baked with a four year old. Which was probably what your boss was thinking right now as he stared down at the sweet treat.
“I’m sorry,” You felt your cheeks burn, “I thought it would be a nice idea—”
“Did you make it yourself?” Bakugou asked, although it was clear that you had. Any shop that would dare to even attempt to sell a monstrosity like this should be shut down.
“Well, yeah,” You hovered in place, “I tried to follow the recipe, and I thought it was going well, but I think I put too much buttercream on, and I’m not very good at piping—”
You found yourself rambling, and it just made you feel worse. Reaching over to flip the cardboard lid back over it to take it away and shield yourself from any further embarrassment.
“Are you not going to have some with me?” Bakugou stopped you from closing the lid completely, his crimson eyes full of sincerity.
“Cake for breakfast? It’s not even nine am—”
“So?” He scoffed, “It’s my birthday. If I can’t have cake for breakfast today then what’s the fuckin’ point? Unless you’re trying to kill me—”
“No!” You wanted the ground to swallow you whole, “Does it really look that bad?”
You looked down at the sad, pathetic excuse of a cake. Hard to see all the time, energy and love that went into it when it drooped so pitifully.
“It looks like shit.” He smirked.
“I should’ve just bought one,” You sighed, remembering how pretty all the cakes had been on the online websites you were going to order from before you had the brilliant idea to bake one yourself. Hell, even the cute little cupcakes in the coffee shop you went to each morning looked better than this.
“Nah,” Bakugou shook his head, “It’s perfect.”
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It was noon by the time Bakugou had decided to pick the phone up to answer one of his mothers numerous calls to him, eyeing the voicemails that she’d left which no doubt chastised him for not picking the phone up. He’d delete those later.
“Katsuki—” Her voice already had him closing his eyes and rubbing his temple as he settled back in his desk chair. Still better than paperwork— “How hard is it for a mother to wish her son a happy birthday. Don’t you forget that I’m the one who birthed you—”
“Yeah, yeah, Ma. I’m sorry,” He sighed, “Work’s been kickin’ my ass.”
“You shouldn’t be working on your birthday, anyway!” She continued, “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”
“I’ve got too much to do.” He didn’t. The paperwork could wait, and he didn’t have a patrol scheduled this week. His sidekicks eager to find their own positions in the hero rankings so they’d picked up all the available slots, leaving Bakugou in his office.
“All you ever do is work anymore, Katsuki.” She continued, “When are you coming to visit? Your father says he hasn’t heard from you in weeks.”
“I’ll come by soon.” Maybe. He thought.
“You should be spending less time working and more time settling down. You’re not a young man anymore, Katsuki.” Here it comes, “And I want grandchildren while I can still chase after them!”
He scoffed. Even when he was a child Mitsuki still hadn’t been able to catch up with him, but the thought of her running around after his kids had an unfamiliar warmth swirling in his chest.
“It must be lonely, son,” She continued, and for once he stopped to think about it.
“There is someone, Ma—” Bakugou smiled as his eyes looked towards the half eaten cake that sat on the edge of his desk.
If he could ever tell you.
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verstarppen · 1 year ago
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pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; ahhh sorry for the late update i was planning a birthday party in a hospital dw about it anyway thank you for supporting this so i can keep geeking out on random star wars lore to you AND HAPPY OSCAR PODIUM GIRLIES LET'S GOOOOOOO!!! [ series masterlist ]
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liked by yn.jpg, daniel3.jpg, oscarpiastri and 295,565 others
lando.jpg here we go
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yn.jpg this is my boyfriend lando and this is his boyfriend oscar
lando.jpg can you stop pimping me out yn.jpg when you post me on this account i will
oscarpiastri 🤙
yn.jpg HOMEWRECKER
vertiddieenjoyer finally some good fucking strategies
julyestie let's go papaya nation 🧡🧡
holidaykimi watch him get his first win because y/n's there to watch him
maria_carrey i hope you're a prophet 🙏
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 496,872 others
yndeathtrooper wait y'all this formula one shit's kinda cool
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landonorris oh you just HAD to sneak max in there
maxverstappen1 I'm the favorite child danielricciardo Excuse me? maxverstappen1 You've been excused
ahsokawife I started watching to support your boyfriend!!
yndeathtrooper thank you random person on the internet, i'll show your comment to him yndeathtrooper update: he giggled landonorris lies.
chisslover so no press tour this year?
super_max y/n red bull stan arc
yndeathtrooper i'm here for max don't lie to yourself landonorris YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE RED BULLS, NOT JOIN THEM. BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS... YOU WERE MY GIRLFRIEND, Y/N. I LOVED YOU. yndeathtrooper do not use my own spells against me, plebeian
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yn.jpg god bless the supernova which exploded and coalesced into the atoms that formed my beautiful muppet
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landonorris i love supporting my obsessed fans
yn.jpg red bull garage kinda looking good right now landonorris i will do what i must. (you won't be able to walk there by the time i'm done with you) yn.jpg you will try
staraikkonen So are we just going to ignore their comments or 😭😭😭
applenorizz they're so embarrassing (i love them) lukestarkiller i choose to live in ignorance
danielricciardo Every day i wake up against my will
yn.jpg HE STARTED IT landonorris l + ratio + didn't ask + cope + you love me
christianhorner You're always welcome to the Red Bull garage
landonorris BABE GET BEHIND ME 🤺 BACK YOU KNAVE, BACK I SAID yn.jpg sorry mr horner, boytoy said no
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pic credits: instagram and pinterest
taglist: @justdreamersdream @cha-hot @dl-yum @minkyungseokie @allywthsr @eugene-emt-roe @soleilgrec @raevyng @baw-sixteen @palomaxaxaxa @cassiopeiia24 @callsignwidow @sheridamn (taglist is open!)
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comicaurora · 11 months ago
Note
Sorry to drop a hella irl-political question on your mostly webcomic blog, but have you/any of the OSP gang heard of/been participating in the week-long strike for palestine that's been (presumably) all over tumblr/the internet?
For some background info: Following the attack on Oct. 7th by the hamas militant group (a terrorist org. Or resistance group, depending who you ask), the state of israel (which is practically a mass colonial settlement on Palestinian land since '48) has taken the attack as an excuse to indiscriminately bomb the homes of thousands if not millions of homes while forcebly displacing almost all of the ~2.3 million people crammed in the gaza strip with no escape.
'Israel' has also tightened it's blockade on the strip of land such that a growing majority of people there are experiencing catastrophic starvation, disease from sewage-infested drinking water (as water aid is too scarce). Soon even deaths by preventable causes such as diabetes will occur since insulin pens for children have been blocked from entering by israel, who controls gaza's borders, water, power, food supplies, and shoreline. Civilians in Gaza are very frequently and indiscriminately killed often in places they were told were safe zones to evacuate to. It's agreed upon by both experts and laymen worldwide that what is happening (and has BEEN happening before Oct.7th) is nothing short of genocide.
In the occupied Palestinian west bank, where there is no hamas whatsoever to use as an excuse, Palestinians are still arrested without a fair trial for years, abused, prevented from using certain roads, shot, and often straight-up have their houses stolen by armed or military-backed israeli settlers (many of whom have no ancestral connection to the land at all) in a system often compared to or outright stated to be apartheid.
Very recently, a journalist in Gaza by the name of Bisan Owda called for a strike from January 21st to January 28th. The conditions of the strike can be paraphrased as:
Cease all unnecessary purchases or payments, avoid generating ad revenue when possible
Do not go to work or school if you can possibly avoid it
Pay for things only in cash if you must
Use social media exclusively to flood the internet with palestinian voices and resources about the ongoing genocide against the palestinian people
Attend protests if you can
Be visible.
It's the 26th now, but joining late would be far better than to not join at all and stay silent.
I figured I'd ask since since OSP has covered various topics about history and/or politics and we're kinda watching some awful history unfolding, the kind of history where neutrality doesn't really work and a side needs to be taken.
Opinions? (Sorry if I'm coming across as condescending! I just really want my favorite blogs to be aware and take a stance rather than being silent hhhghf)
Okay, here's my answer.
OSP has been supporting calls for a ceasefire for months, and we were fundraising in direct support of it via Doctors Without Borders all through November and December. Total, we raised over $30,000. If we include the UNICEF fundraiser we ran on the Spider-Man streams, the total is over $40,000.
During our charity livestreams, we have made our positions clear – we support a ceasefire, Israel is perpetuating settler-colonialist violence and has been for decades, Hamas is a terrorist organization that endangers Israelis and Palestinians alike, the innocent people of both Palestine and Israel deserve safety and peace. We concluded that the best thing we could do under the circumstances was empower those who are in a real position to actually help by providing funding for their work. We believe this is significantly more beneficial than adding Another Angry Internet Post to the pile of insular outrage on Internet Land. Fundraising for the organizations with boots on the ground feels like it does a lot more good than being loud online for the benefit of other online people.
This is not the first time I've heard reference to the strike, but it is the first time I've seen the parameters of the strike laid out, which to me indicates that it wasn't spread as widely or effectively as it could've been.
I understand and appreciate why you sent this ask, but your premise worries me. I know this may surprise and startle us denizens of the internet, but being extremely loud on the internet is not the only or the most effective form of activism, and people not being extremely loud on the internet with every account they have is not the same thing as silent complicity in war crimes, and people acting like those two things are the same thing has been unbelievably frustrating to watch.
If we act like everything is a binary moral choice between "scream your loudest, most angry opinions online every time you feel angry about them" and "not doing that is literally the same thing as participating in genocide", we are creating a very strong pressure to flood the internet with our angriest, most unformed thoughts, lest we be branded as complicit in war crimes. Social media sites live and die on engagement, hence why twitter has rapidly trended towards doomscrolling and encouraging inflammatory clickbait - angry shouty people are traffic and traffic is money. The cynical part of me is utterly unsurprised that social media encourages the idea that the only true form of activism is being loud on social media.
It sounds like you had the feeling that sending me this ask was weird and a boundary overstep, and you were correct. My platform is not world-changing or in any way politically powerful beyond our ability to create charity fundraisers for causes we believe in, and we are doing what we can to help in the tiny ways that we can from halfway across the world, from a position of absolutely zero political weight beyond emailing our representatives. You are just asking me to also shout about it online loudly enough that I measure up to an artificial loudness metric, because my existing shouting was not already loud or omnipresent enough.
You are not entitled to know every thought in my head or every action I take in my life. I am not online to perform outrage and live up to an arbitrary moral standard of Shouting Enough. I am especially not online on my fantasy webcomic blog to do those things. Please understand that what you see of me is what I choose to share, and I am under no obligation, moral or otherwise, to share more.
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theveryworstthing · 11 months ago
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I'm Alive
I posted this on patreon so I might as well post it again here. Hopefully current and past patrons see this as well as people who have just been generally curious about where I've been.
I'm very sorry for not being around and I'm very grateful to those who stuck around. To those who didn't, I get it and I truly appreciate you passing through. 
Last year and the beginning of this year have been pretty bad. Some of you might have heard about my grandma's death and sadly, she was just the first of the family losses in the time I've been gone. There was also a friend's death discovery, my parents' health tanking, my friends Going Through It, and my own physical/mental problems. I didn't want to talk to the internet about these things because they were/are very overwhelming and private and tbh I used all my energy to help with the household and make sure work got turned in on time. When I had spare time after dealing with the near constant disasters, I didn't really feel like interacting with the internet at all beyond using it as a way to talk to far away friends (mostly to give them the thumbs up that i was alive) or watch/read things when my brain was less scrambled. Social media was an absolute no go and I didn't have any non-work art to post so I just kind of mentally crawled under the porch to die lol. 
I only drew work related things for months due to extreme burnout and it took me almost a month off after my last job to remember how to create again. I couldn't draw or write, it was kinda like art block except it was more like nothing was there at all? It's hard to explain. 
Things are still happening but I need to get back in the saddle eventually so here I am. 
I'm going to post the little art I did in June and all the sketches I did in January when I re-learned how to draw for myself. Again, I'm so sorry for being away without saying anything and I'm grateful to whoever threw me a buck, or even just casually enjoyed my art. Leaving like I did was really irresponsible and there's no excuse for not at least making a post about all of this sooner.  Every month I got a patreon payment was another wave of guilt because I literally couldn't give y'all anything but at the same time that money was letting me book flights to funerals and keeping my mom comfortable while she recovered from surgery right after I spent a lot of my savings in 2022 trying to fight my late cat's cancer. And then not posting about what was going on made me more anxious as time went on because there was more guilt every month so I felt like I needed to come back with a bunch of art and energy and good reasons and it was just. A Mess. 
But anyway.
I'm alive, I'm back. The Horrors persist, but so do I.
Thank you for your patience.
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