#excuse me now just thinking about it made me puke a little

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Are you sure Lestrade @di-greglestrade and your brother are not on speaking terms? Because it seems they had dinner together and was all hugging and smiling based on the photo on his blog.

They did what? They had dinner? Hugging and smiling? I didn't even think my brother is capable of such things. So I doubt whether those claims are true. But I am not my brother after all, I don't stalk my siblings and surveil them every second of their life, so luckily I do not know what my brother does in his free time. So it could be possible I missed that, and I would rather continue to not know about such things, or talking to Lestrade would be quite uncomfortable in the future.

[floshav]

more rodrick PLSSSSS it can be anything

omg this is my first req ever and im so excited thank you!!

you wanted more Rodrick well here's more Rodrick.

part 2 out now!!

summary: Rodricks your best friend but thats not enough for you. As much as you hate to admit, you like the boy. That's why you show up drunk and high at one of his infamous house parties after he'd ranted to you about how he was so so in love with Heather Hills.

warnings: angst, heartache, kissing, Heather Hills, pining, weed, alcohol, crying, one sided love kinda, self hate

wc: 1k+

"She was so pretty."

"Oh yea?"

"No. I dont think you understand, like the way her hair smelled when she strut past me, the smell of..... smell of something light. Fresh! Pink even."

Rodrick practically had stars in his eyes when he described how his crush was at school. You'd be ecstatic if the crush was you, but the world is cruel so here you were talking about Heather Hills for the last hour or so.

"Y'know... I heard she spat on Louise last week. Poor kid, was dosed in her icky saliva for the whole day." Y/n was selfish but she tried to paint Heather in a bad light.

"Shit i'd pay good money for her to spit on me."

Well that backfired she thought.

"Freak" Y/n lightly laughed as she fell back onto Rodricks soft bed. Chest heaving up and down whilst her mind felt clouded.

"What can I say, love makes anyone a freak."

There was that word again. Love. How could he be bloody in love with little miss Heather Hills. The queen of highschool. The perfect girl. Pretty blondie. Pretty face. Y/n quickly began to realise there were plenty of reasons for Rodrick to crush on her. Y/n was a nobody. She thought her face ugly, her style wack, her eyes too uneven. She hated, hated, hated herself and wished she looked like Heather.

"Oh. My. God. I just had the best fucking idea" Rodrick exclaimed with the dorkiest smile he could produce, each fine line below the thickness of his eyebrows seen under the dim lighting of his room.

"Hmm?" Y/n buzzed as she basked in the coolness of his sheets

"M'gonna throw a party" "Heather would definitely come, i mean its one of my parties we're talking about."

Flashbacks to Rodrick's last party hit y/n's head like a train when she remembered how chaotic and horrible the experience was. Drunk teens shouting and chugging unknown beverages, shoulders brushing against shoulders constantly as she tried to find a room she could breath in without having to see another damn couple absolutely devouring eachother. Each and every minuscule second she'd spent in that house made her want to puke. The sight that made her want to puke the most was Rodrick's clearly drunk self throwing himself onto Heather, eyes sparkly with hope whilst she just sat there smiling so sweetly it was sickening.

Quickly she was sent back to reality.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" she questioned, tired.

"Course it is! she always comes to my things"

"Kay' whatever you think is gonna earn you your little dream girl specimen."

"Trust me, this times different." That's what he always said.

--------------------------------------

It's ok. It's ok. I-It's.... it's gonna be fine. she told herself as she admired the makeup she'd put on for tonight's occasion, she'd tried to copy one of Heathers famous looks, but quickly realised it didn't suit her skin so she stuck to her usual and hated herself for it. It was dreadfully the day of his party. The day that she'd have to witness him openly flirt with Heather just because he had an excuse to down a dozen bottles of cheap booze. She swiped a smear of lipstick that somehow ended up below her lip and sighed as she adjusted her shirt. Why do you always give in? Just confess you idiot. No! what the fuck am i thinking. she scrunched her nose and took a deep breath in, abusing her vanity with the pressure from the pads of her fingers.

She really really didn't want to go. She couldn't bare seeing Heather show up with her annoyingly perfect face, her perfect nose, her perfect hair, her stupidly sweet personality that everyone gaped over. Fuck it. She hated herself and wanted to forget that Rodrick even existed.

She found her not so hidden stash of weed she'd carelessly left under a pile of worksheets from her chemistry class, something ionic bonding. She didn't know how long it'd sat there for but it stained the ziplock bag a dull yellow. The bag was crinkled and smelled like the thought of Rodrick. Whenever she was upset or mad at Rodrick she'd smoke weed to drown the thoughts out but she slowly realised it was ruining the drug as a whole for her.

She rolled a joint in a random piece of paper she'd found thrown on her floor and lit up the end, taking a deep whiff of it, smile playing on her lips.

-----------------------------

"Animals.....Elephants....Tiguurrrsssss!" She slurred as she laid flat on her disheveled bed scrunching the sheets as her eyes formed stars around her ceiling. She got up abruptly, hair a mess and rubbed her eyes deepening the pressure with every second. "Rrrr... What time? Uggggh" She sighed as she reached for her phone. Her room was cloudy and smelled of green. Beside her were a few empty glasses so she took a sniff, curious. Happy juice? No, Vodka she thought. She saw the emptied out bottle of cheap convenience store alcohol by the side of her feet a long with the yellowed bag of weed which was empty. it'd been around 2 hours since she blacked out on her bed somehow thinking about how her fan looked like the shape of animals. Shit, fuck, ass, asshole! she muttered under her breath as she plopped back down.

"Why not? What's thurrr worst that could happennn?" she mumbled eyes fluttering as she picked up her bag and stumbled out her window, careful not to wake anyone. She took the route down the tree that always worked for her but in a clumsy fashion as she fumbled down the hard branches of her overgrown escape buddy. Craaack, Creeeeak. The continuous sounds made her annoyed. "Uggggfh can't everyone just shut up!!"

--------------------------------------

There she was. Standing dumb, drunk and high in front of the booming house lit up by warm yellow light. She could already smell the familiar smell of cheap alcohol, body odour and weed. My kind of night she thought as she barely made her way to the entrance. There were already people outside partying like no tomorrow as some flipped their hair to some overplayed hip hop song that everyone knew. While some were more restricted, sipping on booze as they giggled with their friends. The true highschool experience y/n thought.

Bump.

"Hey! Watch it-"

"Y/n?"

It was someone with beautiful waves of blonde still visible from her clouded vision, pretty makeup and a perfect body. Heather.

"O-Oh hey Heather! Pretty little Heather Hills." Y/n slurred as her vision was still blurred

"Uhm... Y'alright?" She questioned looking back at her friends as if y/n was cuckoo.

"No. No. No. No! Y-you. You. You and your stupidly perfect self can go to hell!" y/n lashed out

"W-what? Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" Heather said clearly freaked out by the sudden aggression.

Tears started to cloud y/n's vision so she took in a deeeeep breath trying to suck in as much oxygen as she could.

"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You- You're all he wants. Heather, heather, heather! My perfect little heather with her pretty little face!" Y/n cried out as her knees began to weaken. She had no sense of shame, embarrassment or anxiety. She was too blacked out for this. So blacked out she just blurted her deepest darkest thoughts.

A crowd began to form around them, some curious at the sudden shouting girl who was crumbling a part, vulnerable in front of some people she didn't even know the names of.

"W-what? What are you even saying y/n." Heather said confused and disturbed as she began to back away.

Warmth began to spread at the small of y/n's back. Rodricks hand.

"Y/n? Why the fuck are you screaming?- Y/n s-shit you're not alright." Rodrick hastily slung y/n's arm around his shoulder careful with her as if she was a piece of fine china.

"S-sorry bout' that Heaths, trust me she doesn't mean anything she's saying" Rodrick stutters clearly not drunk enough, nervous as he realises that Heather is clearly agitated.

"Y-yea. It's okay Rodrick. It's not your fault, just get her far from here kay?" Heather said with sympathy and those stupid doe eyes whilst placing a hand on his shoulder. This should've made him tremble with pleasure, but the fact that she'd talked about y/n as if she was a monster made him angry.

"Yea. Yea alright." Rodrick scoffed, lightly rolling his eyes before dragging y/n's blacked out figure up his carpeted staircase, the carpet grazing her knees creating a friction which burned satisfyingly on her kneecaps.

"Fuuuck. Fuck..." Y/n softly mumbled, head tilting to the side of his shoulder as he firmed his grip on the side of her shoulder. Shoulders.... shoulders are for friends, real girls get hands put on their waist. Not shoulders. She managed to conjure the thought in her hazed mind.

He struggled to open his door as y/n's body weight pressed into the side of him as he suddenly heard silent weeps of sorrow erupt from her lips.

He set her on the foot of his bed, careful not to drop her anywhere harsh.

"Y/n? Y/n what's wrong, you're like black out drunk." He asked now bending down with both hands on his knees.

He slowly caresses his hand over the hill of her cheekbone and shoves a fly of hair away from her puffy eyes.

"You....i... Im sick of you and- and her." She sighs as a hysterical tear falls from her eye. Her face was the saddest Rodrick had ever seen and this broke his heart.

"Me and... me and who y/n?" He said so softly as he began to crouch so so close to her, his eyes looking up into hers with genuine curiosity and care. The mention of her name fluttered her heart.

"Heather" She breathed out involuntarily sniffling.

"You don't like me talking about her?" He slowly asked as if all the dots were finally clicking together.

"That's a stupid question." He lowly chuckled as he swiped his thumb under the pad of her eyes.

"I.. I really- I really"

"You really what?" He said again so so softly

"I really like you." She blurted before she felt that familiar rush of heat rapture her face.

Rodrick's eyes glance down to her swollen lips and he feels a strong ache pill at his heart. His best friend just confessed about her underlaying fondness of him and he'd been an ass talking about Heather all the time. He imagined how bad it must've sucked all the damn time.

"I-I'm so sorry I- I always talked about her."

"No! don't fucking be sorry you idiotttt." She slurred

"You- You don't owe me anything." She smiled softly as she fluffed up his hair.

"Maybe..." This is wrong he thought

"Maybe i do owe you an apology." He said slow and steady as he glanced down to her lips and locked with it for the final time.

He slowly moved in to plant a soft kiss on her puffy lips and her eyes widened in surprise.

The kiss felt like heaven and she tasted like everything he was used to. A hint of cherry chapstick, a lot of weed and something coconut. His lips felt so soft against hers and she breathed in every second of the experience. She almost wanted to whine when he pulled away.

"I- Fuck."

Y/n's euphoric high was quickly ruined at the notice of him clearly regretting his decision.

"No- It's fine Rodrick. I get it, it was just a in the moment thing." She sighed as she put both her hands to her face rubbing her cheeks and eyes as if she was trying to rid off the pain in her heart.

"No, no, no! it's not that."

"I just..."

"Fuck it." He went in for another kiss.

--------------------------(end)

thank u for the request!! i hope this was enough to satisfy ur rodrick need lol, if u ever want a smutty end to this lmk but yarrrrr

[dizscreams]

Could do a tara carpenter x fem reader

Tara keeps unknowingly friend-zoning r. R can’t take it anymore

*she feels her heart breaking every time tara is flirting with chad despite it being playful and them not having feeling for each other. R is being petty toward them and it makes tara wonder why her “friend” is mad about.*

She decide to move on and go on a date with someone *she is tired of trying and failing at giving hints to tara that she likes her* tara notice her on date with a person and gets a weird feeling even though she doesn’t know why she feeling like this since she assume r has feeling for chad

Mindy helps/spells it out to her very oblivious friends that r loves her *which make tara have a “oh s**t” moment* and have Mindy be her wingwoman to get the girl

Idk why I feel like tara has a naive side to her and I just see her not noticing that r has been giving hints and she doesn’t get until Mindy just blurts it out and she just like “oh? Oh. OH!😳”

I wanna ruin our friendship PT. 1 — Tara Carpenter ★

part two here!

PAIRING: Tara Carpenter x Fem!reader

SUMMARY: Tara can’t get a hint fr, reader gets hurt and Tara gets hurt, this fic is long I’m so sorry. BUT ITS FLUFF DONT WORRY And I suggest looking at the request I’m too lazy to rewrite a really summary

A/N: i love this idea sm 🤭

You sat across from Tara while she sat next to Chad. They were flirting again like they always were and you glared at Mindy and Anika from where you sat for giving you the confidence to come tonight.

The whole group had planned a dinner at a nice restaurant, and Danny was paying. The reason you hadn’t wanted to go was because you’ve had this enormous crush on your best friend, Tara, for ages now, but she never seemed to reciprocate your feelings. Her and Chad were always flirting when you guys were hanging out.

You had tried flirting with Tara like your friends told you but Tara just brushed you off! She was always friend zoning you, maybe you should get the hint. They like each other, right? They’ve got to. But then why was Tara always flirting with you when you guys were alone? It didn’t make any sense but you pushed your thoughts away and messed with the food in front of you as you listened to Tara and Chad’s conversation.

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Mhm”

That mixed with the laugh Tara let out, you wanted to puke. It wasn’t fair. Sometimes you thought Tara liked you but when Chad was there it was a different story, you just didn’t understand it. But you knew it was making you upset. Flirty comment after flirty comment you felt the grip on your fork get stronger.

How could she not know you liked her? You tried “putting yourself out there” like Mindy said, you tried giving her hints but nothing worked.

“Hey y/n, you okay?”

Snapping you out of your thoughts was Tara’s voice and that’s when you felt her hand on yours, trying to soothe you. “Yeah, I’m perfect,” you said giving her a sarcastic smile to which she furrowed her eyebrows at.

“What’s wrong? You don’t normally act like this.”

You scoff and what you wanted to say was, “Yeah sorry I’m not in the best mood when I’m seeing my crush and my best friends brother flirt with each other right in front of me” but you didn’t of course.

So you settled with, “I’m just not hungry, I guess.”

She wasn’t satisfied with that answer though.

“Cmon let’s talk outside.”

Before you could come up with an excuse Tara had made it to your side of the table and grabbed your hand, pulling you outside.

The cool air hit your face and Tara wasted no time in interrogating you. “What’s gotten into you?” She asked sounding concerned. “Nothing has gotten into me, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” you lied, “Why don’t you just go back to Chad?”

Tara was even more confused now. Why was one of her best friends upset with her? “Did I do something?” she asked. You shook your head, “No, I’m just gonna go home.”

You walked away, leaving Tara puzzled and a little hurt. She didn’t understand but you didn’t blame her, you didn’t understand yourself either. why were you pushing her away? why wont you just tell her? why are you so frustrated? Your thoughts raced as you walked back to your shared dorm you had with Mindy and Anika that luckily wasn’t too far of a walk and immediately jump on your bed. You begin to cry into your pillow as you thought of Tara and all the times you’ve tried flirting with her.

You two have always been close so physical touch wasn’t uncommon. You’d always hold hands or when you would have a movie night she’d lay on your shoulder and you’d have your arms around her. In high school when you guys had sleepovers you used to cuddle. One time when the group was hanging out for the night you two were alone and you almost kissed her, but Chad walked in.

You always compliment her, calling her cute or gorgeous. Pet names weren’t uncommon either, sometimes she’d greet you like, “y/n my love, you made it!”

The tears kept coming but you sat up and hugged your pillow and weakly attempted to wipe them away. Maybe it was time to move on, she was clearly interested in Chad more than you. It would hurt trying to move on, you feel like you’ve liked her forever, maybe you even loved her. But if the feelings weren’t reciprocated there was no point in trying anymore.

You looked at your phone and answered some texts from Anika before falling asleep.

It’s been a few days since the dinner and you’ve been avoiding Tara. You honestly didn’t really notice until Mindy told you Tara was worried about you. However, you didn’t want to worry about her right now since you were getting ready for a date. You picked a simple outfit, a cute black shirt with some lace on it and jeans that fit you good. This was going to get your mind off of everything.

You had met your date at a cute little restaurant and you were enjoying yourself. The person was kind and funny but you felt off at the same time. They were sweet sure but there was something missing. You knew you wanted Tara to be the one you were one a date with, but you couldn’t help how things turned out. This was supposed to be good for you, so you pushed your true feelings down.

Tara was out with Quinn walking down the streets of New York. Tara always preferred the city when it was dark, the lights were much prettier. “Hey can we go in here real quick? I just wanna grab a coffee then we can head home,” Quinn said pointing to a cutely lit restaurant with roses out front. Tara nodded, “Sure, I’ll get one too.”

They went inside and took in their surroundings, it was quite a pretty place. Tara figured it was new since she hadn’t seen it before. Tara told Quinn her order and headed to a little bar by a window while Quinn went in line. Tara looked at all the couples passing by the window and she started fantasizing about being in a cutesy romantic relationship like that.

She was about to put her headphones on until she heard something, or someone. She heard you, she heard your laugh and she quickly turned around only to have her heart slightly break at the sight. She saw you with someone else, on a date clearly. They were attractive and you looked happy. You looked beautiful too, you always did. She wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much but it did. It hurt, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

Quinn managed to get Tara out of her gaze by tapping her on the shoulder, “Tara, you there?”

She quipped her head to the red head, “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” she gave a sad smile and Quinn tilted her head unconvinced. “What were you looking at?” Quinn asks, concerned for her friend. “Uh, Y/n’s here. It just caught me off guard you know? Lets go,” Tara jumped out of her seat and walked out the door and Quinn quickly followed her but not before getting a good look at you and your date.

When they got to their apartment Mindy, Anika, Ethan, and Chad were already there along with Sam and Danny. Tara had given them a small wave when she walked in but immediately went to her room and shut the door. “What’s up with her?” Sam was the first to ask. Quinn sighed, “She saw y/n on a date at a cafe we went to. She’s pretty upset about it and I’m not sure why. I thought she liked Chad,” she said shrugging.

Chad had a confused expression and muttered a ‘What? Me?’ And Mindy rolled her eyes, “She doesn’t like Chad! God, nobody around here can catch a hint, I’ll talk to her,” she said and got up from her seat with Anika, while Anika let out a small snicker.

Mindy softly knocked on the door, “T? You in there?” She heard nothing but a muffled ‘Yeah!’ on the other side of the door allowing her to open it. “Quinn told me,” Mindy said sitting down on the mattress while Tara sat up groaning, “I don’t get it. I kinda thought she liked Chad-“

“Chad!” Mindy yelled at the girl, “What do you mean Chad?! What is it with everyone and Chad today?!”

“Well, at dinner the other night she was upset and she said something about me going back to Chad or something,” Tara mumbled.

Now it was Mindy’s turn to groan, “Tara, oh my god! She likes you, you big idiot! She’s like in love with you and she’s been sending all these signals and she’s been calling me nonstop about how you don’t get any of them! You’re always flirting with Chad!” Mindy rambled and Tara’s jaw was on the floor. You liked her? No, you loved her?! Since when? She’s liked you for so long and you thought she liked Chad? She can’t blame you cause she thought you liked Chad.

Tara looked at Mindy wide eyed and processed everything that was just said to her. “Wait y/n thought I liked Chad? I flirt with him as a joke.”

Mindy sighed, “Well tell y/n that. Do you like her back?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then tell her!” Mindy said standing and Tara shot up from her seat on the bed and grabbed her phone. She shooed Mindy out of her room and called you and prayed you’d answer. Lucky for her, you did, cause you missed her more then she knew. “Hello? Y/n? I’m coming to your dorm right now can you meet me there, it’s important.”

IM SORRY IT FEELS SO MEAN NOT ADDING THE CONFESSION BUT THIS SEEMED SO LONG I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO READ THAT MUCH 😭😭😭

[mikalame]

Halloween with Tokio Hotel

Check out @riaisnotok as i got a lot of inspo from them!!

Bill

he goes all out with big fancy decorations as Halloween is his favourite holiday, he drags everyone else into it as well

wakes everyone up super early to start with costumes and on the day of Halloween he gets everyone super hyped up before trick or treating even with Georgs grumbles of 'being to old for this shit'.

Make sure to milk all the people that give candy out for a lot of candy so he can get the most he will brag about it on the way to the next house to do the same thing

doesn't really dress up as gory characters more so fictional characters he sees in shows or reads about but he will make up sure the decorations around the house are gory and scary as shit.

love doing face paint and putting latex and fake blood on everyone thinks it is really cool to see it like drip down and how you can make some one look like they just got beaten up

Tom

Most gory shit ever its his whole thing could be the most plain character ever and he will be like "yeah i wanna be -------- but make me look dead 😁"

Scares little kids with Georg like around the time where 8-9 year old are walking around cause its not super dark but the sun is setting and they hide in bushes jumping out.

threw up in the middle of the night cause he scoffed down his lollies and got sick even though he was told not to eat them quickly but he didn't listen. this also happens every Halloween.

Gets scared by the fake skeleton bill puts up and will screech every time he sees it even in the middle of the night when he gets up to go puke.

Georg

Moves the fake skeleton around the house and even moves it so its hovering over top of toms bed so it looks like it was watching him sleep then laughs his ass off when he hears tom scream.

tom dared him to mix all his lollies together with a fizzy drink then when the drink tasted like pure sugar and no other flavour he punched tom for 'wasting his candy' then steals like 5 from everyone else.

like to get the Halloween drinks they do at cafes and will never admit it though. Gustav found out and now uses it as blackmail when ever he wants something from him.

Dresses up in THE most boring costumes ever think like batman or harry potter you know and they're also from the dollar store where they are really cheap shitty quality. gets hounded at by Bill for it.

Gustav

Makes all the best Halloween snacks like little ghosts and skeletons or zombies and they're all gone by like the 2 day of October because bill made sure this was a month long holiday

helps Georg with scaring tom and puts fake cobwebs in random places so he can walk into them but walked into them instead and screamed cause he thought it was real them got super embarrassed

didn't really do Halloween before moving in with the band but then because of bill he got into it but doesn't really dress up to much kinda basic as well but well thought out.

May tease Georg about his little pumpkin spice lattes but he in fact does drink them as well but comes up with an excuse about why he is going out (they don't really believe him most of the time)

Taglist:@oppopotamus@saumspam@violentnewmarley@adissonsss hope you all enjoy halloween and make sure if you have any ideas reqest them 😁

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Is there a reason why I decided to remake a fic of my family au? No, not really, but I wanted to.

Why did he agreed on this? Why?

He could be free of any eyebags,. He could have more time om his work, projects to get the hassaikai back to their glory... more PRIVATE time with you.

But no. No, no no. Have a kid Chisaki they said, it will be a great experience they said.

"Daddy I threw up." The four years old boy mumbled in the door of his office and he could only grimace at the hint of the puke on the corner of his son's lips and all over his shirt.

It wasn't a fucking great experience at all when it came to this.

Kaito had came down with a lot of bad case of colds recently... ever since he was put into a pree school at least. It was normal for kids to get easily sick when they get introduced to a new environment with lots of children in it.

But he swore to all above that sometimes he would even beg to you, ON HIS KNEES EVEN, that if you guys just could home school your son since it was getting him sick like this VERY single time.

But you refused.

At first he was enraged but then you came with a very valid point.

'Kaito needs to interact with more people outside the yakuza... I don't have anything against the precepts, but I think our son deserves to have a normal childhood with actual friends close to his age at least.'

He hated when you were right...

He also wouldn't particularly enjoy that his son got too close with precepts either... he did killed Mimic for teaching Kaito the word 'shit'...

It also didn't help that YOU WERE OUT. You had went along with Chrono to retrieve the medicines the doctor had prescribed on the last visit so now he was basically alone with his kid.

His very dirty and sick kid.

"Good lord..." he growled and stood up from his chair as the boy bounced back and forth... despite being sick, Kaito was still fairly acting like it wasn't a big deal...

"Where is mommy?" The boy as he leaded him to the bathroom to get him cleaned, grab some towels..... and a new pair of gloves.

"Out." He groaned while carefully sliding the shirt off his son and immediately dumping into the basket of clothes ... the smell was almost making him wanting to throw his guts out as well...

"I want mommy... " the boy grumbled "You don't know how to do this..."

"Excuse me?" He breathed out in offense at this kid basically telling him he can't do something right "Get in the shower Kaito. Now."

"No."

This brat....

"Get in there before I make you." He growled and the little boy, already used to his father's attics, just had the audacity to show his tongue at him and turn his back to him.

"You dont how to wash my hair." The four years complained and Chisaki's right eye started to twitch.

"What do you mean by that-"

"Mommy does it better than you."

He groaned... his son was just as stubborn as him and he swore this was karma sended by the old man himself that ALSO was the one that proclaimed he wanted grandkids.

He just took his gloves off and went to grab Kaito's by the waist but the calm and collected kid started to trash around and making a fuss and even yelled when he was put under the water...

He also got splashed as well.... his dress t shirt and black pants now completely soaked.

Kaito when he got sick he acted like it didn't bother him, but he also would get extremely annoyed, clingy and even bossy...

And the fact that the kid also made a fuss to GET OUT of the shower he DIDN'T want to enter at first also started to pick on his damn nerves...

"What did you even ate before you threw up?" He growled while drying the kid who was sniffing for both being sick and crying out earlier about his father taking him out of the water.

"Just some sliced apples... and a chocolate bar uncle Rappa gave me-"

"WHAT?!" He accidentally yelled, immediately feeling like a dick for making his son flinch from the sound..

It reminding him of... her.

"... you can't eat those things when you got problems on your stomach." He said more calmly and drying his son's hair way gentler than usual "It just makes things worse and it ends with you throwing up."

Kaito's (E/c) looked up to his father and nodded, more calm than earlier as Kai sighed... The kid wasn't dumb, he knew when his father was out of patient or just tired... he could even sense it when the yakuza leader was down in the dumb.

Call it whatever you want. But the kid swore it was a talent that only him and his mother could have. The ability to understand Chisaki Kai.

His grandmother always told him that so he believed it.

"Sorry." The kid finally mumbled catching Kai's attention... usually golden cold eyes softening a bit.

"... is fine." He patted his son's head... he resisted the urge to smirk when his son's closed his eyes with a small giggle.

.

.

.

"Hey! I'm back from the- oh." You immediately stopped on your tracks in the living room as soon as you saw Kai, holding his son like a dog, making him take a liquid medicine.

"MOMMY HELP HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" the boy whined and immediately got out of his father's death grip to run into you while sobbing a bit...

"He just threw up minutes ago." Kai growled while pointing to the culprit you had just picked up.

"He threw up and you didn't made a fuss out of it?" You teased your husband who only growled at you "I'm shocked."

"No. He was bad at it. See mama?" Kaito pulled a bit his hair "He forced me to take a shower and my hair is now weird... daddy also mentioned he would kill uncle Rappa."

"Listen here you little sh-"

"KAI!"

.

.

.

"He is asleep.." You sighed in relief before closing the door to your son's room and but soon catching your husband unusual expression of... worry? Dread? You couldn't exactly tell.

Apparently sensing your gaze on him he just stayed with his arms crossed over his chest before sighing.

"I don't think is normal for a infant to get constantly sick like this..."

Ah... so that was it.

He was worried. Worried that his son would only get worse on his health, worried that Kaito would be sick like this all of time.

Kai wouldn't ever say that out loud.. he would never express it with words that he was worried or cared for either Kaito or you... his actions though, express it louder how much he actually cared. From offering small acts of service to satisfy your wants and even allow himself to get out of his comfort zone to touch you...to protecting his kid on the playground like a angry wolf protecting his cub only because the kid had pushed Kaito with a bit more strength than usual.

Chisaki could be very bad with emotions... but he had them, and believing it or not, he felt them strongly.

"Is alright... the doctor already told us it's a common cold... Kaito is still young and is still developing his immune system..." You mumbled, offering to touch his arm as a warning to not make him uncomfortable.

He simply sighed, a sign you could touch him as you started to carres his upper arm...

"... is not a very... pleasant sensation to see him... on this state. I mean, not only is a mess and this brat gets even more audacious as usual but..." he stopped himself from talking with a scowl before widening his eyes when you made him turn to kiss his lips.

"I'm worried for our son too. But he is strong, just like his parents." You smiled up at your husband before he scoffed, turning to look back to his son's room. A faint blush present on the tip of his ears.

He didn't liked the feeling of his chest contracting in a painfully way every time when Kaito sobbed a bit that he was feeling weird and went straight to you as a comfort... he despised the idea of possibly getting whatever Kaito had but he also felt that it would hurt less if he got this damn cold rather his first born...

It was a very complicated feeling.

.

.

.

But...

Whenever he spotted his son. Giggling, laughing, running... playing with you, Chrono or Pops... it meant that he was well again... he was indeed health.

So yeah... things like seeing your smile and his son's smile... was worth all the nights without sleep or even the worst feeling of deep worry...

.... he didn't regret it. He would go back in time and agree all over again with you to have that brat he swore he would protect you and with his life.

[gloomysoup]

I’d love to see more secrets!!

alright here it is. i am slowly making my through these. steve FINALLY tells robin :)

-

Eventually, he had to tell Robin. He couldn’t keep it a secret from his best friend forever. She was already suspicious that something was going on, and Steve’s bump was showing more. It was getting harder to hide behind baggier t-shirts and sweaters, which were never really his style anyway. It happened on the bathroom floor, where all of their most important conversations seemed to happen. Although, Steve will admit it was unintentional. He had been in the midst of another horrid bout of morning sickness, hunched over the toilet, when Robin came over. She found him retching on the bathroom floor and was instantly concerned. She sat beside him and rubbed his back until he finally stopped puking his guts out. Then they sat against the side of the bathtub, and Robin asked if he was okay.

He took a deep breath and looked over at his best friend, his Platonic Soulmate. He knew then that he had to tell her. He certainly could have made up an excuse. It would have been so easy. That’s not what he wanted, though, and that’s not what he thought Robin deserved. So he said it.

“I’m pregnant.”

His voice was soft and hoarse, but there was no mistaking his words. Robin’s mouth dropped open as her eyes searched his face intently for any sign that this was a joke, a prank. It wasn’t. She didn’t find anything.

“Oh.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. The absolute shock on Robin’s face made him laugh even more. Robin laughed nervously, still a little unsure.

When Steve finally stopped laughing, Robin swallowed and cleared her throat. “So. You’re being serious? You’re- you’re actually…?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I am 100% pregnant. Um… about twelve weeks now?”

“Twelve weeks!? How long have you known?”

“Uh, I don’t know, a while? Over a month.”

“And you didn’t tell me?! I’m your best friend, and you didn’t even think to tell me until now?!”

Steve shrugged. He didn’t really have an excuse, honestly. He just… didn’t say anything. To anyone. He’d never thought that far ahead. Truthfully, part of him was still trying to process it all. Eddie was gone. He was on his own. An unmated, pregnant omega, he already had enough on his plate. Telling anyone else just hadn’t been very high on his list.

[harveybwabbit92]

{R/n's ex-fiance shows up after having no-contact with her for years, thinking he could just move in and start back up where they left off.]

R/n, answering the door: What the hell are you doing here? and what's up wit' the U-haul?

Ex/n: Isn't it obvious? I've come back to you!

R/n: No.

Ex/n: Oh, c'mon are you still angry about that little hiccup?

R/n: Hiccup? You slept with my cousin two days before the wedding and ran off with them!

Ex/n: That's all water under the bridge baby, I'm all about you now.~

R/n, gags: Seriously, you're gonna make me puke!

Ex/n, looks R/n up and down: You're still looking good...even with the extra weight.

R/n: Wha-...I'm pregnant you dolt!

Ex/n: Pregnant?...Oh, I get it you got lonely without me around and decided to get a donor, makes sense who'd wanna make a baby with spoiled goods?

R/n, stares at him stunned: Excuse you?

Ex/n: Well, if you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a pregnan— *goes to touch R/n's belly*

Belial, appears and grabs his hand in vice like grip: Do it and you pull back a bloody stump.

Ex/n, pulls his hand back startled: wh-Who the hell are you?

R/n: Sorry, Ex/n. Lemme introduce you, this is Belial. My husband, and the father of this baby.

Ex/n: Husband?! I didn't hear anything about you getting married!

Belial: Of course you didn't, why should R/n have tell a poorly endowed cheating pus-maggot like you how her life is going?

Ex/n: We..well, b-Because she-

R/n: What, are you gonna say that "I love you"? Sorry to break it to you jackass, but that ship has long since wrecked and you have yourself to blame for it. Honestly, You should've seen this coming. It's pretty egotistic and delusional that you thought I'd wait for you after everything you've done.

Ex/n:

Ex/n:...This is bullshit!

Belial: No. What's bullshit is that ego of yours and thinking you could just move in with R/n after all this time.

Ex/n: Where am I supposed to live?!

R/n: I don't know and I don't care, go hug a cactus or something.

{Ex/n looked he was gonna lunge at R/n only for Belial to stand between then, Ex took a step back when he finally noted how much taller and bigger Belial was in comparison to his lanky frame, the larger man looked like he could pick Ex/n up and snap them over his knee like a twig.]

Belial: I think you should leave now, this whole situation is starting to piss me off... And trust me, you really don't want that.

[Belial briefly lets his projection slip allowing Ex to see his true form; Ex being the coward that he is went ghost white before running off the porch and ran passed the confused movers. The movers asked where to put Ex/n's things? and R/n made them put it all back on the truck and gave them the address of Ex/n's parents home and let them deal with him.]

[bunnytornado]

Okay so imagine going to a beauty salon in hell and Vox is sitting in the waiting room flipping through a tech magazine about new TV models. He is considering changing up his look.

Beauty and the Jackelope

Vox X Reader Platonic

No TWs

Rachelle’s Beauty Emporium. While located on the outskirts of Cannibal Town, it was one of the best places to go for beauty advice. Normally, I avoided Cannibal Town just due to the fact it wasn’t the best in terms of getting grub.

Rachelle’s place though, had it’s charm. Getting my Strawberry hair cut and styled, while they did so well avoiding antlers and ears, sure made it worth going to. Even more so when they helped during those shedding months.

Hence, why I was here today. I needed the velvet shed. It was starting to peel on it’s own and it was driving me crazy. Which meant I became irritable at work. I had gotten into it more than once with Vox’s head assistant when he badgered me to get repairs done quicker on any systems that ended up down.

So, I came here to get rid of this week’s velvet. However, I hadn’t expected to see a certain demon there. What was Vox doing here of all places? “B-Boss,” I squeaked out and slowly sat beside him.

“Do I know you,” Vox said with a huff and air of annoyance. He flipped through the magazine in his hand. Wait, was that a TV model magazine?

My confusion and nosy nature perked at such a strange situation. “Yes. I work for you. As part of your IT department…I’ve been in your office to fix your TVs…a lot.”

“No. That’s a deer demon. You’re not her.” Vox stated, looking down his non-existent nose at me. “I would know. Don’t try to fool me stupid rabbit.”

I gave him a dirty look. “Sir, I’m a Jackelope. Not a rabbit. And 100% not a deer.”

“Ha! Prove it.” Vox said and shook out the magazine like it was a newspaper, settling back into the chair.

I growled and glared at him. My antler’s flared slightly, growing a hair, before I forced myself to calm down. "I don’t have to prove shit to you. I have better things to do here then remind you who I am.”

“Knew it, Rabbit. If you just wanted to get in my lap for a ride, you should have just said so instead of trying to act like you work for me. After I get my new model, you and I can go back to my place,” Vox purred and flipped a page.

I felt like I was going to puke and shook my head, my anger flaring again. My ears flashed a red, and my nose scrunched. My antlers grew to where they could be seen. I held my tongue, but my ire was already flaring. Between the itching and now his attitude, I was losing control of my temper.

Suddenly, I felt a claw poke at my three-pointed antlers. “Excuse you,” I snapped and pulled away from his claw. “Anyone tell you to fucking look with your eyes and not your claws?”

“Aww little Bambi,” Vox purred and reached out to tap them again. “I swear, all of you deer demons have the same antler growth.”

“I. Am. Not. A. Deer! Dammit, I am a fucking Jackelope,” I snarled and moved to a few seats away from him, out of reach.

“All I’m seeing is a Deer Rabbit,” Vox said and smirked. He knew what he was doing, and he knew this was his employee from the start. But some things were just too much fun to skip out on. Especially when this employee was usually calm and collected. “So, Deer, why don’t you climb in my lap, and I can continue looking at new seasonal models?”

Just as I was about to finally snap, my name was called to go get my hair and antlers taken care of. “Bunny?”

“HA! So, you are just a Deer Rabbit,” Vox laughed and grinned.

“Uh, Fuck you! I am a Jackelope! My name is Bunny,” I snapped and stomped off.

As I walked away, Vox continued to laugh and flip through his magazine. “I think a Curved Monitor might look good.”

“You’re Forehead would be too big sir,” I snap before rushing off for my appointment.

[fruitcoops]

Slowburn

Fic O'Ween Day 12: Goosebumps, with part five of the firefighter/ EMT AU! Coops, Leo, and Layla belong to @lumosinlove, fest header belong to @noots-fic-fests!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

TW extremely brief mention of bodily fluids (one sentence at the beginning)

Five hours and forty-four minutes. He had been bled on, puked on, grabbed, yelled at, and nearly toppled. His only spare pair of pants was now bound up in a plastic bag. Miracle of miracles, Sirius’ shirt was the only thing that hadn’t been damaged in the miserable afternoon. It made a great undershirt. It would also need to be washed at least four times before he could even dream of returning it.

Layla stared at a spot above his shoulder in the opposite jumpseat. One side of her eyeliner had been completely smudged away; the other, smeared sideways to her temple in a smoky trail.

“Nice job today.”

“Thanks.”

“That was a lot.” Layla nodded mutely. His heart pulled for her, a little bit. Even if their cases had been run-of-the-mill, nearly six hours of back-to-back calls would wear anyone down. He nudged the tip of her shoe with his own. “You’re learning fast. I saw some good work out there.”

“I’m…” She blinked slowly, then shook her head. “Wow, I think I fell asleep sitting up for a minute.”

“It happens.” In time, she’d learn to sleep wherever she could catch it. “When does your shift end?”

“Seven.”

“Almost done, then.”

“Mmm.”

The ambulance went over a bump, rattling the near-empty shelves and bashing Remus’ tailbone against the back ledge. “Sorry!” Leo called through the small window to the cab.

He had mostly given up hope that he’d see Sirius in the next twelve hours. His shift wasn’t over until midnight, and Sirius’ started at six the next morning. If he made time between his dentist appointment and calling his parents, he might be able to stop by in the afternoon, but it would be a stretch if he wanted to get any laundry done. And, Christ, that was a chore he couldn’t delay for another week. He liked those pants. More importantly, he now knew just how much Sirius liked them.

Something stirred in his belly at the thought. Warm hands cupping his ass and sliding over his flanks with astonishing care. Sirius had felt him up enough that he could probably make a Model Magic version of Remus’ body on touch alone—and wasn’t that a thing to picture. Somewhere between rounds two and three, Remus remembered kissing the backs of Sirius’ thighs. Pale skin and dark hair above the bare, sensitive bend of his knees. They slotted so well in his palms. Sirius had looked like glory itself when he peeked over his shoulder to look.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Remus jumped. “What? Nothing. Sorry, nothing, why?”

“You’re all frowny.”

Thank god for that. “Just…the day.”

A vague and reliable excuse. Layla snorted. “Tell me about it.”

There will never be a day when I tell you about this. Remus hoped his laugh didn’t come out too strained. “Seriously.”

They took the next turn a little wider, sending their final two ointment boxes sliding out of place. He fixed them blindly while the city center rolled past through the back windows. Did Sirius still have scratch marks on his upper thighs?

Another bump knocked the thought from his head. “We’re home,” Leo singsonged from the driver’s seat. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the showers, wondering why I chose this life path.”

“Mood,” Layla mumbled.

“I’m also Grubhubbing a sundae, and you can’t stop me.”

One of the last functioning neurons in Remus’ head lit up. “Get me one.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Get your own.”

“I’m your boss.”

“You make more money than me.”

“Yes, let me flaunt my extra fifty cents an hour,” he countered dryly. “Every night, I rub my quarters together, just to flex on you. That beautiful sound of a handful of nickels.”

“…I’ll see what they have.”

“Good rookie.”

He didn’t wait for the ambulance to stop before opening the doors. The familiar ka-chunk of the lock coming free was music to his ears—a sweet, sweet anthem of freedom, the promise of a lukewarm cup of coffee and a maybe-stale donut from the break room.

And Sirius.

Sirius, sitting on one of his packed and labeled inventory bins.

Remus stared.

“Remus?”

“Go ahead,” he said absently. “I’ll catch up.”

Layla hopped out with a groan. Six hours was a long time to be up and down. Remus was sure his feet would ache the same when he stood. If he stood. Sirius’ hair stuck up at the back, like he’d been running his hands through it.

Remus loved when he did that.

He just. He really did like him, quite a lot.

Keep me.

What had he been thinking? Six hours was a long time to wait. He had told Sirius he’d be right back. It was his day off; why hadn’t he left after it was clear Remus wouldn’t return?

He supposed he could ask the same question about that morning. God, could it really only have been a few hours since he felt Sirius’ bare chest against his own? They had practically been spooning with how tight they were tangled in each other when he woke. Remus hardly remembered falling asleep, only aware of the pleasant ache in his muscles and the humming pleasure in his belly. Pure satisfaction. Pure comfort, at having Sirius hold him like more than a friend.

He watched Leo wander off. Sirius didn’t seem to have noticed. He didn’t so much as flinch when Remus stumbled off the rig and beelined for him, not until Remus stopped in front of him, unsure what to say. I want you I like you I’m sorry please kiss me again, I still get goosebumps thinking about the way your mouth tastes with adrenaline.

Sirius blinked up at him, full lips and glossy lashes. His bone structure was fucking criminal. “You’re back,” he said, so soft and sweet and genuinely happy that Remus’ stomach flopped over itself. Sirius stood, tucking his phone into his pocket without a second glance at it. He was just—big. And tall. And gorgeous. Remus now knew precisely how solid his chest was, and how nice it was to kiss. “Did you have a good day?”

Remus stepped forward and planted his face directly into that chest.

“Oh,” Sirius laughed. It vibrated against his forehead; he closed his eyes. Arms came up around him, hands settling at his nape and the small of his back. He knew he smelled awful. Sirius didn’t seem to care as a tentative kiss nestled on the top of his head and melted Remus’ insides out his throbbing feet.

He sighed. Sirius smelled all warm and spicy. Detergent, cologne, or simply the way he was? Remus couldn’t wait to find out. “This is nice.”

“Yeah.” The delight was back. Sirius pushed the breath from his lungs on a squeeze. “Yeah, it is. I like this.”

“I’m gonna kiss you,” Remus mumbled. “Gonna kiss you so good. Just…two seconds.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want.”

“Two seconds.” It was so dark in his new haven. Sirius’ lungs moved calmly, steadily. His heart rate was a little fast, but nothing to worry about. Remus let his ears go foggy and pressed closer, nuzzling into the space between his collarbones.

Sirius kissed the top of his head again, less hesitant this time, before resting his chin there. “Long day?” he asked after several seconds. Remus hummed. “Sounded like you guys didn’t get much of a break.”

“Mhmm.” He turned his head to the side and rubbed his cheek over Sirius’ sternum. He couldn’t count the number of times they had sat together on the couch or at the table or in the window seat, legs intertwined while they worked through their days. Separate snacks at first, then a single bowl to share once they knew each other’s favorites. It had been nice, to have someone there. Someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone who understood.

But this…this was so much better.

Sirius’ thumb stroked a short path along his spine. It zinged all the way into the base of Remus’ skull. “I sweated through your shirt,” he muttered, pushing his head further beneath Sirius’ chin. “After I stole it from you by accident. Sorry. I’ll wash it.”

He felt Sirius’ smile on his temple. “Keep it. Looks better on you.”

“Think I left mine at your place.”

“Guess you’ll just have to come back and get it,” Sirius whispered playfully. Remus couldn’t help a grin, raising his head despite the pounding drowsiness behind his eye—he had barely opened his mouth to retort when there were lips brushing his own, a wordless request. He granted it easily.

This was different than the rushed promise on the ambulance. Different than last night’s smoky, need-fueled passion. He let Sirius lead, tender and questioning, then pushed into it a little more. Have it, he tried to say. Take it all, it’s been yours for a while. The words may not work, but he was willing to bet Sirius would understand anyway. His lower lip was chapped on one side when Remus ran his tongue along the seam, giddy and dizzy with the kiss-buzz of chasteness.

“Hmm.”

That was good. It was all good, if Sirius would keep making noises like that. He brought his hands up to rest on narrow hips (marked with a tiny scar just above his thigh, which Remus was so fucking glad he knew now) and gave a little more, pushed a little harder. Sirius’ hand cupped his jaw and the right side of Remus’ brain powered down.

“Hm—wait, wait.”

His attempt to lick forward into Sirius’ mouth was stymied by sudden distance between them. Not far—he could still pick out each fleck of quicksilver in Sirius’ unfocused eyes—but far enough to be frustrating for the part of him that was enjoying turning his thoughts off. Remus went up on his toes for more, but Sirius pulled away. “What?” he whispered, though they were alone. “Did you—are you mad at me?”

“No,” Sirius said hurriedly. His hands soothed down Remus’ sides in a long drag that sent tingles through each cell. “God, no, I’m trying to—” His cheeks went a touch pink as he glanced around them and coughed lightly. “Uh, I’m trying to calm down.”

“Oh. Oh.”

Remus hadn’t even thought about that. He was pretty sure he was too tired for his body to consider arousal, aside from the inevitable spike of desire for a soft place to land for two to eight hours. Sirius’ mouth was so nice, his body so warm, that it was all too tempting to get lost in it.

Sirius’ tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. Well. Remus supposed he might be able to feel something other than pure exhaustion, if he tried. “What time do you get off?”

“Whenever you want me to,” Remus answered immediately, then felt himself redden at the arch of Sirius’ brows. “Fuck—sorry. Midnight. My shift’s done at midnight.”

The fingertips on his back had become an extraordinary distraction. Sirius looked almost shy, so at odds with the animated boy he knew against this backdrop that Remus wanted to memorize every inch of it. “Can I…” Sirius began, then trailed off as his blush darkened. His thumbs hooked around Remus’ hipbones and paused there, lingering on bare skin. “Can I maybe take you to dinner? Or a diner?”

“At midnight?”

“I know a couple places.”

Remus frowned. “You have work tomorrow.”

Sirius gave a sheepish half-shrug. “We could nap together. Today, I mean. If you want.”

“I smell horrible.”

“You smell fine.”

“I’m soaked in dry sweat.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I—” That was it for excuses. That was all he had. Every defense against Sirius was dust in the wind. He smiled, and stood on his toes again to kiss one scruffy cheek. “Yeah, sounds good. Let me wash my face and grab some water. I’ll meet you in the bunks.”

Sirius’ eyes crinkled, and Remus fell for him all over again. “I’ll be waiting.”

[chenziee]

Front-Row Seat

Written for the @opmlmzine 🤍 Hakuba's gonna need a good night of wine and murder after this

Last chance to grab the zines! Store closes on July 1 🌸

Also, check out the amazing spot art done by @majoraop!!

[ READ ON AO3 | KO-FI | COMM INFO ]

----------

Hakuba was a simple man with simple needs. With Durandal by his side, he only needed enough humans in his hunting grounds to keep him happy.

He was a simple man with simple needs—needs which did not, however, involve bouquets of roses sprinkled with sugar ‘for better flavour’, wine, candles, snarky little notes, or oh-so-romantic walks on the beach during sunset.

Okay, maybe the wine he would accept but everything else? Absolutely not.

So why exactly was he stuck here, cursed to watch from the actual front-row seat as Cavendish prepared to go on yet another stupid ‘date’ with his idiot little boyfriend? He was sick of it. So, so very sick of it.

Literally; Hakuba felt like he was going to puke the next time the two of them kissed.

As if on cue, Cavendish reached the meeting place, the horse themed fountain in this island’s largest port city. To no one’s surprise, the annoying, ugly mess of green hair was already there, shining like a beacon and letting everyone know to steer far away from the pirate. But them, oh no, of course not.

“Cavendish! You’re three damn hours late. Again,” the pirate, Melonomeo—or something like that—hissed the moment he noticed Cavendish strutting towards him.

Cavendish sighed dramatically, tossing his long, voluminous hair over his shoulder. “I keep telling you that beauty can’t be rushed, Bartolomeo.” So that was his name. Close enough.

Bartolomeo rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, your favourite excuse, I know.”

Huffing, Cavendish looked away—seemingly in offence… but Hakuba knew it was to hide his embarrassment. After all, he did spend two absolutely agonising hours picking an outfit and then another two hours doing his hair. To be ‘his most beautiful yet’. 

The giddy lovesick fretting was downright sickening and Hakuba would have jumped out the window of the captain’s cabin if he could have.

And here he thought Cavendish with his beauty and popularity obsession was bad before. Now, Hakuba would give anything to go back to the days when Cavendish’s delusions were the only thing he worried about. Since meeting this guy… it was all about what he might think or say. Not all the time—or even most of the time—, of course, but on days like this one, it was like no one else’s opinion mattered.

As if Bartolomeo was capable of higher thought or cared about his or anyone else’s appearance, as proven by the absolutely godawful pants and the ugly Straw Hat pin on his coat.

Suddenly, warm fingers wrapped around Cavendish’s wrist, making Hakuba hiss like an angry cat. 

“It’s a damn good thing I know your slow ass and booked a table for four hours later than you said,” Bartolomeo announced with a smug smirk before pulling on Cavendish’s hand, forcing him to a walk. “Come on, Cabbage, we’re gonna be late ‘cause of you.”

“Don’t pull me, you brute!” Cavendish scoffed… but frustratingly made no effort to break free of his hold.

“What, should I offer you an arm like you’re a damn princess or something?” Bratolomeo threw a look at Cavendish over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised in a mocking fashion.

This little shit.

Hakuba knew the look wasn’t aimed at him but oh, how he was going to enjoy dicing this guy into little pieces… eventually. For sure. He’d get an opportunity any day now.

Not for the first time, Hakuba cursed the way these two met. Why did that trip to Dressrosa have to deteriorate into a bloody war? If they just met casually over coffee or something, Hakuba could have had killed him the first night but as it was… Bartolomeo was all too aware of Hakuba waiting for the first opportunity to take control of their body. Going so far as to have his underlings tie him up in sea prism stone chains.

The humiliation.

Oh, revenge would be sweet.

Cavendish clicked his tongue, dragging Hakuba back to the harsh reality. “Most people would thank me for gracing them with my dazzling presence, you know,” Cavendish said with slight annoyance.

“Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me. Sucks to be you, I guess,” Bartolomeo retorted without missing a beat, that irritating smirk back on his face. Showing off his stupid fangs and all.

A beat of silence passed… before Cavendish burst out laughing of all things.

Seemingly just as confused by the reaction as Hakuba, Bartolomeo stopped in his tracks before letting go of Cavendish's wrist so he could turn to look at him. A frown on his face, he tilted his head to the side questioningly like a dog. “What’s up with you?” 

“You’re impossible,” Cavendish let out in between chuckles as he shook his head.

“At least I’m not insane, unlike you,” Bartolomeo said slowly, confusion still apparent in his voice.

“Sure, sure.” Cavendish waved his hand dismissively before he stepped forward again, easily passing by Bartolomeo. “Come on, stop holding us up! We can’t keep my fans at the restaurant waiting.”

“It’s a reservation, not a fanmeet! Also who’s the one—argh!” Bartolomeo stopped himself with a frustrated shout. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath… before burying his hands in his hair and ruffling it roughly, muttering to himself something about ‘annoying princes’ and ‘why the fuck do I suffer this’.

Honestly, Hakuba had to ask the same question—both to Bartolomeo… and to himself.

—————

The day seemed almost never-ending.

By the time Cavendish and Bartolomeo finally finished eating—with candles, to Hakuba’s horror—and left the restaurant, Hakuba was already at his bloody limit. Seriously, there was only so much leg touching and badly disguised, terrible flirting that he was physically capable of witnessing before he needed to murder a person or twenty.

It wasn’t fair. Why was Cavendish the one in control most of the time? And why did Hakuba have to be conscious while he was at it while Cavendish got to sleep while Hakuba had his fun?

What did Hakuba ever do to anyone to deserve this treatment?

Unfortunately for him… the dinner date wasn’t the end of it. Of course it wasn’t. That would be letting Hakuba off too easy.

To be fair, it could have been a lot worse—when they passed through a street that was so full of hotels if felt more like a Red Light District, he honestly feared the absolute worst—but even just the handholding and bickering while Bartolomeo saw Cavendish to the Sleeping White Horse of the Forest was about enough for Hakuba.

“—so then I replaced Red Hair’s flag with Luffy-senpai’s and handed out our Straw Hat Boxes to people. Soon, everyone will know just how awesome the Straw Hats are,” Bartolomeo rambled on, waving his free hand around and clenching his fist in adoration for his idol.

Cavendish, who had only been humming noncommittally the whole time, blinked, turning his head to stare at his companion blankly for a moment. “‘Straw Hat Boxes’?” he repeated.

“Yeah! You want one? I always carry a few on me, hang on.” He started fumbling with his bag, obviously searching for the box in question.

“Absolutely not!” Cavendish refused immediately. “I’m just astonished you successfully came up with a name that managed to take something ugly and terrible and make it something even uglier and more terrible.”

“Are you insulting Luffy-senpai?!” Bartolomeo bared his teeth as he demanded an answer.

No, he’s insulting your stupid ass, Hakuba thought to himself.

“No, I’m insulting you,” Cavendish said at the same time.

Well, there was at least something they could agree on.

At that, Bartolomeo… nodded. “Oh, okay. That’s—” he paused for a second, before the words finally clicked in his empty head. “Man, you are such a bitch.”

“A beautiful person others admire so much it makes them hate themselves? Why, yes, I am that indeed.” 

“No,” the green-haired caveman retorted immediately, giving Cavendish a look.

Cavendish only laughed conceitedly, dismissing the denial as jealousy, and Hakuba honestly wasn’t sure if his other half was really that dumb or if he was just deflecting. Not that it mattered that much to him. The only thing that did matter to him was the ship, which was now finally within reach. Very soon, he would be free from this… cutesy hell.

Hopefully, without lasting mental damage.

Hakuba barely finished the thought when the two lovers stopped to say goodbye. With Cavendish getting on his tiptoes, pulling Bartolomeo closer.

If he could, Hakuba would be smashing his head against the nearest wall but as it was… he could do nothing but watch helplessly as the inevitable happened.

The moment their lips met, butterflies began to flutter in Cavendish’s stomach, warmth gathering in his chest. The kiss was so soft and impossibly sweet… It made even the deepest parts of Hakuba’s entire being shudder.

It was in that moment that Hakuba decided. The next time he was in control, he would be killing Bartolomeo first.

And then… then he was killing Cavendish.

[silverstark]

Heavenly Demon Baby Fever pt.4

Part 1; Part 2; Part 3

BingQiu get baby fever. Tentatively rated M instead of T.

x-x-x-x-x

Despite spending most of his time traveling the world carrying out all of Luo Binghe’s roleplay fantasies, Shen Qingqiu tried to set a good example for his disciples by never neglecting his Peak Lord duties. He made sure that his and Luo Binghe’s visits to Cang Qiong Mountain coincided with Peak Lord meetings whenever possible. He usually enjoyed these meetings…meaning he enjoyed opportunity to put on his finest poser act and learn all the Peak Lord gossip he had missed while he was away.

That wasn’t the case on this particular day. Shen Qingqiu woke up feeling ill to the point that he couldn’t even attempt to hide it from his husband. Luo Binghe, of course, fretted and clung and conveniently tried to coax him to stay in bed, but Shen Qingqiu had refused to compromise his morals.

And so, Shen Qingqiu dragged himself all the way to Qiong Ding Peak, took his customary seat by his sect leader, and braced himself for a long meeting. The Peak Lords engaged in their usual chatter as they waited for the meeting to begin.

“Shen-shixiong, try this new wine I made!”

“Is it really appropriate for us to drink before the meeting has even begun?” Shen Qingqiu demurred.

“Fine, fine, you don’t have to drink now. You can drink with us later at Zui Xian Peak! Just give it a smell for now.”

Shen Qingqiu obligingly gave the jar of wine a sniff. He froze then. The one sniff had made his head spin, and not in a good way.

“Excuse me,” he muttered.

He stuffed the jar of wine back into his shidi’s hand and then he rushed out of the hall.

“En? What’s wrong with Shen-shixiong?”

“Is that new wine of yours really that bad?” someone teased.

The wine-making Peak Lord bristled. “If shixiong thinks so, then I won’t trouble him to try my wine from now on.”

“Shidi, I was wrong!”

Shen-shixiong was in fact finding a quiet spot in Qiong Ding Peak’s ornamental gardens to puke up his entire breakfast.

Motherfucker. Shen Qingqiu was supposed to be immune from all disease thanks to his regular medical appointments with the Heavenly Pillar. What kind of unscientific bs was this?

He tidied his appearance and made his miserable way back to his seat. Yue Qingyuan had considerately waited to start the meeting until Shen Qingqiu returned. Shen Qingqiu was embarrassed. He’d only come because he didn’t like making trouble for his kind shixiong when he could help it, and look what had come of it!

Shen Qingqiu strictly admonished himself to endure any further discomfort. But he had to run back outside again when it was the Ku Xing Peak leader turn to speak. He liked to angrily wave his hands around when he spoke, wafting an acrid smell around the room. It wasn’t particularly unpleasant, just a side-effect of always meditating using rare incense. But it wasn’t particularly nice either. Shen Qingqiu for some reason could not bear the scent today.

He apologized to Yue Qingyuan under his breath before he fled. His only consolation was that his absence this time was shorter: He had already found Qiong Ding Peak’s ideal secret puking spot! He gave himself a little achievement badge in his mind and then tried to sneak back into the meeting. Yue Qingyuan frowned at him in concern when he returned.

“Shidi, is everything alright?” Yue Qingyuan asked.

Shen Qingqiu smiled tightly as he fanned the cold sweat off his face. He wished Luo Binghe were here. If he were, Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t even have to say anything. Luo Binghe would quietly place before him a tray of mild tea and a light snack to settle his stomach. But Cang Qiong Mountain Sect had mysteriously done away with the tradition of having peak lords bring their top disciples along with them to regular sect meetings.

“Of course. Let shidi continue.”

The Ku Xing Peak leader gladly resumed his diatribe about kids these days who preferred fast-fashion cultivation styles over committing to Ku Xing’s steady, tried and true cultivation style. Shen Qingqiu was a little piqued -since when was Qing Jing Peak’s cultivation style unreliable?- but he couldn’t focus on that once the servants brought forth trays of snacks to place before each peak lord.

A sickly-sweet smell rose up from something on the tray, and Shen Qingqiu had to abruptly leave the meeting again.

When he came back, his fellow peak lords didn’t bother to hide their gossiping.

“—probably from some exotic demonic cuisine.”

“The air can’t be wholesome in those underground palaces either, not when he’s used to Qing Jing Peak’s pure air.”

“And don’t forget those qi deviations he used to have,” someone whispered. “It can’t be good for his core that he’s dual-cultivating with a Heavenly Demon all of the time.”

“Shixiong!” someone replied with a delighted and faux-scandalized gasp.

Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat at the door. Once everyone had shut up and noticed his return, he swept a trademark cold look around the table. Then he made his dignified way back to his seat.

He almost made it. As he prepared to gracefully take his seat, Liu Qingge suddenly appeared beside him and grabbed one of his arms.

“…What is the meaning of this, Liu-shidi?”

Liu Qingge ignored him and turned to Mu Qingfang.

“Will you come here, or do I drag him over?”

Mu Qingfang looked at Shen Qingqiu apologetically before glancing over at Yue Qingyuan. Shen Qingqiu likewise looked over. Surely Yue Qingyuan would put a stop to this nonsense!

…Yue Qingyuan lowered his eyes to sip at his tea. Before Shen Qingqiu could even voice a complaint over this betrayal, Qi Qingqi had showed up to grab Shen Qingqiu’s other arm and help drag Sheng Qingqiu over to Mu Qingfang.

“Shixiong!” Shen Qingqiu whined at Yue Qingyuan, who ignored him. Shen Qingqiu turned to pout at Liu Qingge. “This is completely unnecessary.”

“It would have been unnecessary, if that disciple had taken care of you the way he promised he would,” Qi Qingqi scolded.

Shen Qingqiu drew himself up in indignation. He got as far as “Binghe takes care of me perfectly well,” before his brain caught up. When had Luo Binghe promised to take care of him? To whom had he promised? Had Qi Qingqi secretly given Luo Binghe the shovel talk? Why had Luo Binghe said nothing of it to Shen Qingqiu, his husband?

By the time Liu Qingge took Shen Qingqiu’s hand and held it out in front of Mu Qingfang, Shen Qingqiu was feeling disgruntled with everyone. He barely even cared about the results of this silly health check. It wasn’t like it could be anything serious: Dual-cultivating with Heavenly Demons was very good for one’s health, whatever that ignorant person had whispered earlier.

Mu Qingfang cleared his throat and said, “Liu-shixiong will have to let go of Shen-shixiong’s hand first.”

Liu Qingge gave Shen Qingqiu a stern glare before releasing his hand as if he thought Shen Qingqiu would flee at the first opportunity. Shen Qingqiu resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him. One of these days, he was going to release a nest of demonic hornets on Bai Zhan Peak. See if Bai Zhan Peak Lord could fight hornets. Or maybe demonic mosquitoes. Demonic mosquitoes would be quite formidable after feeding off Liu Qingge’s spiritual energy-rich blood.

Mu Qingfang undoubtedly saw the evil thoughts on Shen Qingqiu’s face and feared that they were directed at him.

“May I?” he asked.

Shen Qingqiu thought it over, realized it would be better to get it over with sooner, and nodded coolly.

“You may,” he said magnanimously.

This dramatic mess wasn’t Mu-shidi’s fault, after all.

Mu Qingfang took Shen Qingqiu’s hand and read his pulse. Everyone in the room, from the peak lords and little An Ding disciples to the servants, scooted closer to listen in on the diagnosis.

Mu Qingfang’s expression was calm as he focused on his work. Then his face turned pale. Then it gradually reddened.

“What is it?” Liu Qingge demanded, before even Shen Qingqiu asked.

Mu Qingfang let go of Shen Qingqiu’s hand and began to cough violently. Shen Qingqiu became a little uneasy. Mu Qingfang had been quite composed when he told Shen Qingqiu about his Without a Cure poisoning. Then again, Shen Qingqiu had been unconscious when Mu Qingfang had made the diagnosis.

…In any case, it couldn’t be anything worse than Without a Cure, could it? Shen Qingqiu mentally went over his activities in the past few days. He and Luo Binghe had…just the night before, after they had arrived at Qing Jing Peak, so what could have attacked him in the course of the morning? Were there really already demonic mosquitos on Cang Qiong Mountain? How could they have dared to bite him with Luo Binghe around?

“Mu Qingfang,” Liu Qingge insisted.

Mu Qingfang cleared his throat once more and managed to pull himself together.

“Shen-shixiong is well,” he announced.

“As if we’d believe that,” Qi Qingqi complained. “What was that reaction for, then?”

Mu Qingfang reddened again. “False alarm!”

Shen Qingqiu opened his fan with a sigh. He appreciated his shidi’s efforts to be discrete even though they were completely useless. He didn’t know why his sect siblings had to be so nosy. It was probably some wife-plot disease that Lou Binghe -or rather, the Heavenly Pillar- would resolve two days from now during their scheduled sex session.

“Stop badgering him. Mu-shidi will tell me in private later and if,” he emphasized, “it is any of your business, I may share the news.”

“Boo,” someone jeered under their breath.

Shen Qingqiu ignored it. He straightened out the little wrinkles Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi had made on his sleeves and returned to his seat. Yue Qingyuan finally re-established order. Shen Qingqiu decided not to worry about it. He had gotten pretty good at dealing with Shang Qinghua’s shitty wife plots, after all.

x-x-x-x-x

[razorblade180]

Where You Need to Be

[Menagerie General Hospital]

Nurse:Your mother has one more test to run then she’ll be back here in no time.

Young Lucas:Okay, thank you…

Nurse:She talks about you everyday y’know? She’s going to be thrilled to see you!

The excitable nurse left the room. Lucas calmly took a sip of his soda he got from the vending machine as he played the waiting game. He didn’t dare look out the window towards the courtyard or go for a walk. Right now, things were good. Things were…normal.

???: Excuse me?

Gods, why can’t things be normal? His lungs captured a slow, deep breath before greeting the doorway with a smile. There was a young girl with a lovely little rhino horn and wearing a hospital gown.

Lucas:Yes, little one?

Girl:Wow! It really is you! Lady Belladonna’s son. Hi! I’m Sam.

Lucas:Hey Sam. Aren’t you spunky? Not to mention alone. Does the nurse know you’re out and about?

Sam:Shhhh! I snuck out for you.

Lucas:Hehe, for me? Why’s that?

Sam:You gotta know why! Can’t you see the future!?

Lucas:….Yeah. Yeah I can. It’s not always by choice though.

Sam:Oh…well, I was wondering something. You see, I’m actually going to surgery soon. I’m not scared or anything but…my mom…she….

Lucas:She’s worried for you?

Sam:*nods* Mommy says I shouldn’t lie, so I can’t tell her I’ll definitely be fine because…I’m a little nervous too. But…if you can see my future then I can definitely tell her everything will be alright! So please! *puts hands together* I wanna know my future.

Lucas:….Come closer.

The girls eyes lit up and she ran to him, front and center! Same watched his amber eyes gain a blue ring around the iris as his gaze became distant. It was a a handful of seconds later that he snapped out of the trance.

Sam:What did you see!?

Lucas:You’re gonna wake up and feel bad before puking all over the nurse.

Sam:*red* What!?

Lucas:It’s fine. Anesthesia, the sleepy medicine, does that to people sometimes. But the important part is you wake up. *smiles*

Sam:I knew it!

Nurse:Aha!

The children looked at the doorway to the nurse and Blake standing there. Blake waved at Sam. It was about to be the only gentle greeting the girl would get before the nurse lectured her. Then she looked at her dear boy.

Blake:Hey sweetie!

Lucas:Heh, someone looks happy.

Blake:Yeah, you’re here.

Nurse:Sam-

Sam:I’m sorry! I just wanted to know if I would get better for mom! Please don’t mad!

Nurse:That’s… *smiles* Why would I be mad at that? Still, no running off now. It’s time to go get ready. You gotta be big, strong, and keep all that adorable energy. That’s the key to every victory! Now then, let’s go.

Sam:Kay!

She gives Lucas a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before taking the nurses hand to leave, closing the door on the way out. Blake sits on her hospital bed right next to his chair and pets the boy’s hair; his head falls to her lap just like when he was little. She wanted to see his face so badly, but could tell by his trembling just how scared he was to stare too long.

Lucas:Sam, she’s-

Blake:Sshhh, I know. *frowns* I know…

Lucas:What’s the point of seeing the future when you can’t change it?

Blake:Maybe… it’s not always about changing it? It’s about being there at the right time.

Lucas:….How soon is her surgery?

xxxxxx

It had only been two hours later that he found himself walking through the courtyard with Blake towards a bench made for two. Only to see one spot solemnly filled by a woman with a rhinoceros horn, tears endlessly rolling down her face. Lucas walked a little faster until he was right in front of her. Somehow, she found the strength to raise her head to meet his gaze.

Mother:The nurse said…you saw her last?

Lucas:Yeah, I did. And…right before she went in.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his scroll to show a picture of Sam cheesing at the camera and waving.

Lucas:She was nothing but happy and thinking of you.

Whatever strength the mother had left faded as she audibly wailed. Both Lucas and Blake supported her body, holding her close as she repeatedly thanked him through the tears. Lucas didn’t know if this could even begin to make him feel okay, but he glad he was right here in this moment; right where he needed to be.

[theboywithburninghands]

Well here’s that Funnybunny sequel I was talking about. It came out kind of weird but I’m glad I did it. It’s a sequel to my last one about about salmon, in which Pomni has an anxiety attack and she and Jax beat each other up. It’s a comedy.

You Look Funny

*it’s been about an hour since Pomni had dinner. She’s tried settling down for bed, but like most other nights, she can’t sleep. She… kissed Jax. Jax. Probably the absolute worst person she could have kissed! Why… Why did she do it…*

*He… had been nice to her, sure. But did that account for all the times he had been horrible to her? Not just her, everyone… Ragatha, Zooble, Gangle… especially poor Gangle. What made her do it…?! Did he WANT her to do it..? He had seemed just as surprised as her when she did it, so-“

Pomni: Mnnnnngh…

*Pomni feels the anxiety in her belly tighten like a spring. Same as always… the what-ifs of the situation made everything worse. She won’t be able to sleep at all tonight without actually talking to Jax. As much as she doesn’t want to give the smug jerk the satisfaction of knowing she was currently thinking about him… something in the back of her mind tells her that he might be feeling the exact same way at the moment. He was a little younger than her after all, but not much…*

*No. She shouldn’t lay here and worry. If she’s gonna be stuck here, she’s gonna make herself as comfortable as possible. And if that means talking to Jax… so be it.*

*Pomni hops out of bed and gently opens the door to the hallway. Jax’s room is right across from hers. She takes a deep breath and walks over to his door. She’s near instantly hyper-aware of how disgustingly short she is as she has to reach her hand up to the doorknob. There’s a dull roar of panic in her belly and she takes her hand away. She vaguely remembers a breathing mantra to counter anxiety and tries it out. Deep in… deep out…. Deep in-

**WHAM**

*Jax opens his door and nails Pomni square in the teeth, the jester yelping and covering her face in some pain but mostly embarrassment*

Jax: Pomni. You… uh… okay? Usually you want to stand a little bit back from a door, in case somebody, you know, opens it.

Pomni: I know that you moron! I was… ugh, my f#%!@g face…

Jax: I’d apologize, but it was sorta your fault. What are you doing out here, anyway?

Pomni: Why do you think I’m here..? Let me in for a second.

*Pomni attempts to move past Jax, but he holds out a hand to stop her, putting it on her forehead*

Jax: Woah woah wooooah, Pompom! Who said you could come inside without my say so?

Pomni: I did. Move.

Jax: Yeah I don’t think-HURF!

*Pomni lands a pretty nasty elbow right on Jax’s diaphragm, knocking out all the breath he had ready for whatever snark he was about to deliver. Pomni marches inside his room and tugs in the wheezing rabbit after her, slamming the door shut behind her*

Pomni: I wouldn’t have had to do that if you had just let me inside!

Jax: *cough* Ohfffff… man that hurt…

Pomni: We’ll call it even after you brained me with the door. Now listen-

Jax: That was an accident, Pompom…!

*Pomni grabs him by the straps of his overalls and yanks him down to her level*

Pomni: You listen to me you smug creep! I am having the worst anxiety attack of my LIFE right now because I kissed your stupid @$$! I don’t know if I should scream or puke or both, but I don’t know what the $&@# I’m feeling for you right now and it’s making me feel like the world is collapsing around me! Now are you gonna stand there and make lame-brain excuses OR ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS?!

*Pomni lets him go and takes deep, exaggerated breaths to calm herself down. Jax brushes off his overalls and puts his hands on his hips*

Jax: You know… I think I would have been fine with just the thank you and kiss.

Pomni: I’m sorry… I just… I don’t know why.

Jax: You don’t know why… what?

Pomni: Why I… *glp* why I kissed you.

Jax: *smirks* Could be my rakish charm. Or the fact that I went outta my way to learn and get you your favorite food. And you elbow me in the gut and yell at me. See if I ever do something nice for you again.

Pomni: I said I was sor- *pause. Pomni glares* You’re smiling. You’re… you’re not taking any of this seriously, are you?!

Jax: What do you want me to do? You kissed me. Big deal.

Pomni: It is a big deal.

Jax: It’s really not. We do reckless stuff around here, Pompom. It’s how we cope.

Pomni: Don’t call me Pompom. And this wasn’t reckless…

*Pomni looks at Jax. He raises an eyebrow.*

Pomni: Okay it was. But… URGH I JUST DON’T KNOW! Look at us! We’re… cartoons! Dumb little cartoons! I’m not supposed… to LIKE people! I’m supposed to- to hit people with mallets! Or maybe I AM supposed to like people, but I’m stuck in this stupid body! I’m a- a- a-

Jax: Jester.

Pomni: YEAH! If I tried to actually DATE someone I’d just look funny! Actually, no matter what I do I look funny! *beat* WHY ARE YOU SMILING?!

Jax: You look funny.

*Pomni balls her fists and prepares to yell again… but it doesn’t happen. Her face scrunches up and she crumples to the floor, covering her face. Her shoulders hitch and her breathing becomes shallow*

Jax: *the smile slips off his face and he sits on his bed. Crying helped. She’ll feel better after getting all the poison out. But… he feels a sharp sting in his gut. Oh… no… no no no NO, he did NOT feel guilty!*

Pomni: *between sobs* I’m sorry… I just… I-

Jax: N-No it’s…

*Internally, Jax screams at himself. What the hell was going on?! He didn’t feel a thing when he pushed around Gangle or Ragatha. Sure, he might make it up to them at SOME point, NOT put a bug in their room… But he didn’t want Pomni to cry.*

Pomni: I’m so… I’m so pathetic… I’m just… look at me… I’m a clown! *She laughs joylessly and throws her hands out* I’m just a sad little clown!

*Jax stands up and offers his hand.*

Jax: Get up.

Pomni: *wipes her eyes and her lack of a nose* I know you’ve got a joy buzzer on or something.

Jax: I don’t. *shows his palm. It’s empty* Get up off the floor. There’s a bed to sit on if you’re gonna cry.

Pomni: I… I… ……… #%&& it. *she takes his hand, and Jax pulls her to her feet*

Jax: You feel any better?

Pomni: No.

Jax: Sounds about right. …Listen, I didn’t mean to say you looked silly. Well… I kinda did. But… *sigh* C’mere. *he sits on his bed and pats beside him*

Pomni: …

Jax: *rolls his eyes and pulls up the blanket* There’s so Whoopee Cushion this time, okay?

Pomni: I uh… I’m okay here.

Jax: Baloney. It’s the end of the day and I bet your feet hurt. I don’t bite. C’mon.

*Pomni takes a deep breath and shuffles over to his bed, taking a seat*

Jax: I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.

Pomni: I don’t know why that did it… it just did. I look so stupid.

Jax: You’re talking to a big purple bunny rabbit. Least you’re not Zooble.

*He smiles, but it fades quickly*

Jax: *sigh* Look. I know you don’t remember squat about your old life. Or how you used to look like. But what if it sucked? What if you were alone, or in a relationship that wasn’t working out? Or at some dead-end job with a horrible boss that didn’t care about you? Havin’ to get up everyday to face that isn’t all that different from what goes on around here. We just have brighter colors here.

Pomni: Mnn…

Jax: Look, newbie. I don’t really know how I feel about you either, okay? You seem… fine, I guess. If you want to kiss now and then… sure. I can do that.

Pomni: Don’t kiss me because you feel bad for me.

Jax: Why not? You gonna stop me?

Pomni: Yeah- Yeah I wi-

*Jax smooches her on the lips*

Jax: Looks like you didn’t this time.

Pomni: I- *her face steadily turns fiery red* Jax-!

Jax: *nods to the door* Get outta my room, Pompom. Get some sleep.

Pomni: But you can’t just-!

Jax: Sure I can. *he lays down on his bed, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes* I’ll see you in the morning, Pompom.

*Pomni stares at him for a minute before getting up and shuffling towards the door*

Jax: Hey, Pomni?

*Pomni turns to look at him.*

Jax: When I kissed you? *Jax gives her finger guns without getting out of bed* You looked pretty funny.

[the-west-meadow]

Nowhere

Kendall Roy x Reader

tw: suicidal thoughts, verbal abuse, drug/alcohol abuse, drunk driving

As you stood in the shade of Connor’s patio, watching Logan and his children walk towards the old adobe church, Kendall’s absence was painfully apparent. You had grown used to seeing him at his father’s side. But he had not come with his family to New Mexico. It was a shame, you thought; he would have liked it here.

Greg, standing beside you in a long peacoat, waved as they disappeared behind the wooden church doors.

“What do you think they’re going to talk about?” Greg said.

“Years of suppressed trauma, maybe.”

“Wow. You think?”

You shrugged. “They probably won’t get around to it.”

You strolled back towards the house, where the others were sitting by the pool. Anyone who was not a child of Logan Roy had been left behind. Marcia, Tom, and Willa eyed you as you entered the house with Greg.

Greg leaned on the kitchen counter as you poured yourself a shot of whiskey from the mini-bar.

“Getting right to it, huh?” said Greg.

“You want some?”

“I’m good. It’s a little early for my system.”

Tom strolled into the kitchen, hands in his pockets.

“Hey, rascals. I see you breaking into the liquor stash. You should have invited me.”

“Well, you’re invited now,” joked Greg.

Tom leaned on the counter and grinned at you both.

“Here we are. The outcasts.”

“I’ll admit, I do feel kind of left out,” said Greg.

“God, wouldn’t you give anything to be a fly on the wall in that room? The whole thing is so uncomfortable it makes me want to puke. I love it.”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. The name on the screen made your heart jump: Kendall Roy.

“Excuse me a second,” you said, slipping out of the kitchen.

“Is that a new lover?” Tom called after you. You jogged through the house to the room where you were staying and shut the door behind you.

“Hey, what’s up?” you said, keeping your voice low.

“Hey, Y/N. How you doing?”

“Surviving,” you said. “How are you?”

“Can you come meet me? I’m somewhere outside of Albuquerque.”

“What? When did you get here?”

“I’ll fill you in. Are you coming?”

“I’m at the ranch right now. I don’t have a car.”

“Can you figure something out?”

You thought fast, rubbing your forehead. “Yeah. I’ll take care of it.”

“You’re the best.”

You hung up, heart racing. You hadn’t heard from Kendall in weeks. He texted occasionally to check in, but it had been a long time since you heard his voice. It was a painful reminder of how much you had missed him lately.

Tom and Greg looked up as you walked into in the kitchen.

“What’s up?” Tom asked.

“Just a family thing,” you said.

“Oh, come on. You can’t have a personal life. There’s only work, work, work!”

Tom tossed back the rest of his drink and set his glass down.

“Okay, I’ll fuck off. Both of you come sit by the pool and save me from Marcia and Willa. I mean it.”

You and Greg watched until he was out the door, then Greg turned to you in anticipation.

“Well?”

“That was Kendall. He’s here.”

“Are you serious?”

“He wants me to meet him. But I don’t have a fucking car.”

“Right.” Greg glanced around as if looking for an answer. “Okay, I’m not supposed to know this, but there’s a collection of old cars in Connor’s garage. And, stupidly, all the keys are hanging on a rack in the garage. So if someone wanted to take one of those cars out for a drive while everyone was in therapy, I doubt anyone would notice for a few hours at least.”

“Cover for me. Make up a story.”

“Okay, yeah-“

But you were already gone.

You felt like a thief, skulking around the sides of the huge adobe ranch house, past the refurbished church and towards the unlocked garage. Lined up in the cool darkness were half a dozen vintage cars. Spotless. Expensive. Fueled up and ready to ride. You slowed down, taking your time to choose your ride. This was a once in a lifetime chance, after all. When Connor found out, you’d probably be banned from the state of New Mexico.

You chose an aqua 1967 Cadillac de Ville convertible. Sitting in the smooth leather seat, you watched with giddy panic as the garage door opened. Then you gunned it, kicking up a cloud of red dust as you escaped down the long ranch road from Connor’s estate.

The roads in New Mexico were long, straight, and empty. Gnarled barbed wire fences emerged from the scrublands, and distant mountains rolled beneath white clouds. It was the antithesis of what you were used to in New York. Here, everything was low to the ground, wild, free. You flew down the roads, the wind roaring all around you.

It was an hour’s drive to Albuquerque. You kept driving until you reached a diner in a small desert town beyond the city. When you rolled into the parking lot, you saw Kendall standing outside, smoking. Your heart swelled at the familiar sight of him. He stared as the aqua Cadillac parked squarely in front of him.

You cut the engine.

“Hey,” you called.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

Kendall strolled up to the car, looking it over. Then he shook his head and let out a short laugh.

“Alright. Not really what I had in mind. But it’s cool.”

As he came closer, you were able to take a good look at him. He looked different. He was tan from the desert sun, dressed in a denim jacket and black jeans. His eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses. There was also an edginess, a restlessness to his movements that you didn’t recognize.

He dropped his cigarette, stepped on it, and put his hands in his pockets. You could feel him taking you in behind his dark shades.

“It’s good to see you,” he said.

“You too.”

“Let’s figure out a game plan. I feel like I just landed on an alien planet.”

You sat across from Kendall in the booth, squinting in the hard sunlight that slanted through the window. The waiter brought two mugs of hot coffee. You sipped it gratefully, feeling it nudge against your dull headache. As the waiter stepped away, you took in the sight of Kendall sitting across from you.

“How long have you been here?” you asked.

“A few days. Just clearing my head.”

“You seem good.”

“I feel good.” He sipped his coffee, eyeing you over the rim of his mug. “How have things been for you while I was gone?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I don’t have many allies.”

“You and Greg seem pretty tight.”

“I guess so. You cling to each other for survival when you have an insane boss.”

“Pretty bad, huh?”

“It wasn’t this bad when you were around. You’re like a path through the insanity.”

“Well, thanks. But I’ve done plenty of fucked up things, too.”

“It’s different. This borders on abuse.”

Kendall looked alarmed. “Hold on, you don’t mean, like—“

“No, no. Nothing like that. Just psychological shit.”

“Are you okay, though?”

“I’m coping.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m drinking a lot more.”

Kendall nodded, still peering at you intently. “Uh-huh.”

You gazed into the steaming coffee for a moment before voicing the question that was on your mind.

“Does this mean you’re back?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m still working up the courage to see my family.”

He didn’t say any more. The waiter brought your food; huevos rancheros. Kendall stuck with coffee. He watched you dig in with a slight smile.

“You seem like you’re thriving here. Big blue Cadillac. Local cuisine.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s very different here.”

“Seriously. I feel like never get to see the real you. We’re always under the cloud of my dad. You know what I mean?”

You nodded. ”Everyone’s been on eggshells around him this week. I don’t know how you live with it.”

“It’s fucking torture.”

He was smiling, but you could see the pain in his dark eyes.

“Are you going to eat anything?” you finally asked.

“Not that hungry. I guess the desert’s making an ascetic out of me.”

He smiled again and looked down at his hands, turning his sunglasses over and over. He hadn’t stopped fidgeting through the entire meal. You set your fork down and slid your empty plate to the side.

“Hey,” he said, “How long can you be away?”

“At least until someone notices the car is gone.”

“Come on. Let’s go somewhere.”

You drove the Cadillac as Kendall leaned back in the passenger seat, watching the desert fly past. An orange glow filled the sky as the sun sank lower.

“How far do you want to go tonight?” he asked.

Your heart skipped. “What are you asking?”

He laughed. “Jesus. Not like that. I mean how far do you want to drive? Mexico?”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t know. Am I?”

You looked at him, and you still couldn’t tell. The sun was beginning to sink, casting long shadows on the black road. The mountains grew darker in the distance. Kendall leaned forward, peering out at the desert.

“Let’s stop up here for a second.”

You slowed the car, pulling to the side of the road. Low music drifted from the radio. You cut the engine, suddenly surrounded by a deafening silence. Kendall went very still, listening.

“This is a good place,” he said in a soft voice. He opened his door and started out. “Come on.”

You followed. Small jackrabbits leapt out of your way on the path, which was surrounded by yellow-flowering creosote. A low breeze set everything in motion; the shrubs, the sand, the furtive animals.

You climbed a low plateau that overlooked the sprawling desert. Kendall stood taking it all in. He pulled a small baggy from his pocket and flicked it with his fingernail. You watched in alarm as he dispensed a small amount onto the flesh of his thumb and sniffed sharply. His body seemed to relax. His expression grew lighter. He looked at you almost apologetically, as if awaiting your judgement.

“Yeah. Sorry. This is what I’ve really been doing.”

It was all starting to make sense. The restlessness, the edginess. The fact that he had been here for days without telling anyone.

“Shit, Kendall,” you murmured.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you, though?”

“Not really. You?”

You looked at his hands, which still held the bag of coke. Without a word, Kendall tapped out a rough line of powder onto the flesh of his thumb and offered it to you. You leaned forward, pressing one nostril closed, and snorted it off his hand. When you sat up, the world was reeling. The sunset had turned everything to flame. You looked at Kendall and smiled.

“I’m glad you came here,” you said.

“I’m sorry I left you alone with them. I just didn’t want to bring you down with me.”

“I’d rather work for you. I feel like I’m going to have a fucking panic attack when your dad comes into a room.”

“Now you know what my entire life’s been like.” He smiled. “If you’re not careful, you’ll turn into me.”

You turned to look at him. “But I admire you more than anyone.”

Kendall laughed. Tears slowly rose in his eyes.

“Wow. Never thought I’d hear those words.”

He sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I’m serious,” you said.

“You know, my dad never praises anyone. But everything I do is for him, just hoping that one day he’ll look up and say that I did a good job.”

You sat for a long time watching the sunset until the sky grew purple and dark. Eventually you wavered to your feet, then held out your hand for Kendall. With a big heave, you got him to his feet. He stumbled forward into your arms, then leaned heavily into you. You put your arms hesitantly on his back, feeling the dampness of his shirt. He rested his forehead on your shoulder.

“I missed you,” he said.

You squeezed your arms tighter around him.

“I missed you too.”

He quietly withdrew from your arms. You began to scramble down the plateau, busting your asses several times. By the time you reached the bottom, you were cracking up, covered in dirt. Kendall doubled over with laughter, his hands on his knees, wiping tears from his eyes. Then he looked up and smiled: that big, heart-melting smile.

Your heart suddenly grew warm, despite the oncoming desert cold. As you drove, you snuck a glance at Kendall. His face was turned towards the red sunset, glowing with happiness. A false happiness, you knew. But he deserved all that he could get.

As you pulled up the driveway to Connor’s ranch, you saw a tall figure running out to meet you. It was Greg. Kendall hopped out of the car and pulled Greg to him in a hug.

“What up, Greg?”

“Hey man, I’m really happy to see you but I also have bad news. Turns out those cars are highly precious to Connor. Also, Logan is pretty unhappy about the situation.”

“Does he know I’m here?” Kendall said.

“Well, yeah. It was hard to explain otherwise.”

“That’s what he’s unhappy about. My dad doesn’t give a shit about the car.”

Kendall started towards the house with you and Greg following close behind.

“Is he okay?” Greg said quietly.

You just shook your head. “I don’t think he should be here right now.”

It was cool and silent inside the adobe house. Then, the unmistakable boom of Logan’s voice shook the air.

“Where the fuck are they?”

Kendall seemed to waver in his tracks, then forged ahead towards the kitchen.

Everyone stood together, waiting. They fell silent as you entered the room.

“Has everyone resolved their familial issues?” Kendall said as he strolled forward.

“Jesus, is he high?” said Shiv.

“Are you blind?” said Roman. “He’s completely fucking wasted.”

Logan made a beeline for you, causing your heart to drop steeply.

“I should have you fucking arrested. Car theft, drug possession. What else?”

“Hey, fuck off,” Kendall said, stepping between you. “She was just doing what I asked.”

Logan’s eyes pierced through you. You couldn’t move, couldn’t escape the vice grip of his gaze.

“Don’t you know him better than that? You’re his fucking assistant, no?”

“Actually, she’s my assistant,” Tom said in a low voice, but Logan didn’t hear.

“Yeah, she got loaded with me,” Kendall said, raising his voice. “That’s because she’s my only friend in this shitstorm of a life.”

Logan turned to Kendall, looking him dead in the eye. “You don’t deserve a life.”

Then, jabbing a finger at you: “And you’re fucking fired.”

Logan turned and walked away. Kendall was still reeling from the blow his father had just delivered. He looked like he was about to fall over from the force of it.

“She doesn’t work for you!” Kendall managed.

“Technically, she works for me,” Tom said, still unnoticed.

“Then you get rid of her,” Logan said to Kendall. “She’s not good for you.”

Logan turned and stalked out of the room. Kendall just stared after him, shaking. Finally, he seemed to snap out of it.

“Come on,” he said to you. You followed as he stormed away, painfully aware of the stares of his family as you left.

“You got the keys?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Get in that car.”

“Jesus, Kendall-“

“Then give them to me. They can say I stole it.”

You didn’t hesitate to toss him the keys. You hopped into the passenger’s seat. Kendall started the car, peeling down the ranch road with red dust glowing in the taillights.

Kendall tore down the straight desert road, headlights cutting through a thick darkness.

“I didn’t want my dad to hurt you.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

He was silent as he continued to drive, eyes fixed ahead. Finally he spoke.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. This is my fault.”

You couldn’t argue that, but you also couldn’t blame him. “It’s okay. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Work for me,” he said.

You looked at him, trying to gauge if he was serious.

“It’s either that or go back to my dad, begging for a job.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“I know. So I’m rehiring you as my assistant. Actually, I’m promoting you to senior advisor.”

“What does that involve?”

“Getting drunk with me until we both forget the pain.”

You bought a bottle of tequila at a nearby ABC store in the next town, then stopped at the first motel you saw, a cheap but clean place called The Desert Flower. You were both crashing from the cocaine. Kendall’s eyes were bleary and red, his face dark with stubble. He was going down fast. You sat in the car, taking turns with the bottle, unable to even make it to the room.

“I’m sick of wanting to fucking die.”

“Kendall…”

“You heard him, right? He said I don’t deserve a life. That’s how he makes me feel. Every day.”

You heard his voice break. Tears streamed down his face.

“What would it take? For him to smile at me once, to pat me on the fucking back? What do I have to do?”

“I don’t think there’s anything you can do.”

He stared at you, and for a moment it looked like his entire world was crashing down around him. You saw the loss playing out behind his eyes as he realized the truth of your words. Then he leaned forward, put his hand on the back of your head, and kissed you.

You didn’t hesitate to respond. Everything was falling apart, but at least you could feel the warmth of him, his searching hands, his desperate mouth. You squeezed his wrist as his hand gripped your thigh. Then you both suddenly pulled back.

“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He was still holding your hand tightly. You wouldn’t let go. You both caught your breath, reeling from the touch.

“I need to go inside,” he said.

He leaned on your shoulder on the way into the room. When you got inside, he collapsed onto his knees, sobbing. You got down on the floor with him, stroking his back, trying to talk to him. But he didn’t seem to hear. He curled up on the floor, totally unresponsive, rocking himself as he wept.

You didn’t know what to do. The Kendall you knew was suddenly gone. You could only think of one ally who could still help you: Greg.

Need help, you texted.

Where are you?

You sent him the address of the motel. He responded immediately.

I’ll be there as soon as I can.

You finally got Kendall off the floor and onto the bed. He huddled there like a frightened child.

An hour passed. You heard a car pull up and saw headlights flare through the curtains. When you opened the door, Greg was sitting there in a red convertible. You laughed, unable to help it.

Greg got out of the car, looking completely out of place.

“Yeah, I know…” he sighed, looking at the car. “There aren’t many Ubers in the middle of nowhere.”

“Does anyone know?”

“Just Tom. He said he’d cover for me. So we’ll see how that goes.”

He peered past you into the room.

“How’s Kendall?”

“Not good.”

“What about you? You don’t look so good yourself.”

“I just need someone here to make sure one of us doesn’t die.”

“Okay, yeah. We should definitely try and prevent that.”

You moved aside, letting Greg through. Kendall was still curled on the bed, his head tucked into his arms.

You sat beside Greg on the edge of your bed, talking in low voices as you gazed at Kendall.

“What have you guys been doing?”

“A lot of coke and tequila.”

“Wow. So a pretty serious binge, then.”

“I think I’m in over my head.”

You gazed at Kendall, who had withdrawn so far into himself that you didn’t know if he was aware of your presence.

“I thought I could help him,” you said.

“That’s more than anyone else has done for him.”

“Why don’t they try to help him?”

“Honestly, I don’t think his family knows how to see him as a person. They only think of themselves.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing I got fired. I don’t know why I even want to work for them.”

“I frequently ask myself the same question. But even though they kind of suck, I still like them.”

“They’re your family.”

“That’s true.”

Greg looked thoughtful. “Then why do you stick around?”

You gave a slight nod towards Kendall’s sleeping form.

“I want to see him win. Not for anyone else. For himself.”

You couldn’t see it in the darkness, but a tear gathered in the corner of Kendall’s closed eye and slid down the bridge of his nose, then was gone.

Greg slept on the floor between your beds. You gave him half of your pillows and the top sheet of your bed.

Sometime in the night, both Greg and Kendall began to snore lightly. You could feel their resting forms in the darkness, the hum of the air conditioner, the traffic slowly streaming by outside. Cars rumbled in and out of the parking lot. Doors open and shut. Everything moved slow in the late hours of the night, the early morning.

They weren’t your family, but you loved them. You didn’t belong among them, but you had made a place for yourself in their lives. And they had become an inseparable part of yours. You held onto this thought as you waited out the long night.

It was early, and you were just beginning to fall asleep, when you heard vague sounds of movement in the room. You felt someone crawl into the bed with you. It was Kendall. He drew himself close, facing your curled form, mirroring it with his own body. He pressed his forehead against yours and reached pleadingly for your hands. You twined your fingers around his.

“Hey,” he whispered. He sounded as if he had been crying.

“Hey.”

You felt his hands for the first time, stroking them with your fingers. He held tightly to you, drawing himself as close as possible.

“Am I going to be okay?” he rasped.

You put your hand on the back of his head. He was shaking, tears dampening the pillow.

“I promise.”

You held him for a long time, until his breathing calmed and he finally stopped shaking. He never let go of your hands, never moved. Your knees touched, arms intertwined. When you opened your eyes, he was looking at you. Neither of you said anything. He stroked your hand with his thumb.

Greg groaned from the floor, and both of you went still, listening. Then you started to giggle.

“Where the fuck am I?” Greg mumbled, rolling over in his sheets, still half asleep.

Kendall snorted, and you shushed him, still trying not to laugh. You could still see tears in his eyes. But he was smiling.

[kytrisz]

giving heads | Katya Zamolodchikova

| pairings. katya zamo x reader

Both of you and Katya are currently in the bar where she's having her show. Since you are a supportive girlfriend you come along with her. And being her girlfriend comes with a lot of privileges that include spending your time lounging in the dressing room with her while she finishes her retouches. 

All of the queens performing are either on stage or at the bar, so you are the only one who's occupying the room.

"Don't open your mouth too wide дорогой, you'll drool," Katya smirks after catching you staring at her from the vanity mirror.

You immediately collected yourself and give her a rolled eye "More like puking." 

Katya gasps, she turns her head at you, and dramatically puts her hand to her chest "Excuse me bitch, this face that you want to puke at is loved by many!"

"Yeah, people who are mentally ill."

"Bitch, so you're now admitting you're sick as fuck huh? Never knew it would come to this." Katya turns her head and finishes her retouching.

You just stared at her for a moment "Yeah... probably I am. By the way, I have a question."

"Bring it on, babe."

"Are you... tuck?" You asked.

"Hmm, no I'm not, why?" She responds still busy with her makeup.

Hearing that an idea forms in your head, you let out a playful smirk before standing up from the couch and slowly making your way up to her.

"Oh, nothing just curious that's all."

Katya, who is oblivious to what you're up to, just nods at your answer. After the final retouch, she spun her chair to look at you. 

"Anyway дорогой, what do you want to eat for di— What are you doing?" She asks, catching you bend down the eye level of her crotch.

But instead of replying, you bend yourself even more.

Katya nervously flick her head to the dressing room that is half wide open, "People could come in (Y/N)—But who am I to deny?" She excitedly said, feeling the thrill and arousal rushing into her.

You let out a big grin when you saw her dick getting hard behind her clothes.

"Never knew you were in this kind of stuff дорогой, just be quick though I'll be up—"

"Here's your brush, you drop it earlier." You cut her off, a smile slowly forming in your place as you give her the fallen brush. 

Katya looks at you with her mouth wide open. And to add insult to injury, you give her an innocent kiss on her cheeks before turning around and walking back to the couch. 

But before you can take a seat, a hand forces you to spin around and push you to the couch, trapping you between it and her. 

Then you were greeted by an annoyed look from Katya, indicating she was not amused by what you did.

"Did you really think you could do that and get away with it without any consequence?" She growls, her eyes narrowed at you. Putting her hand on your neck and giving it a little squeeze.

She lowered her head and put it beside your ear, biting it roughly "Well that's where you're wrong, cause I'l—"

Knock Knock

"Katya, you're up next" a voice interrupted her outside the room. Katya let out a frustrated growl before pulling herself off you.

She took a quick look from the vanity and then made her way to the door. But before she leaves, she stops and turns her head to give you one last look and warning. "Don't even think we're finished 'cause it's only a preview дорогой. The main will be later tonight." 

Then she left. A wide smirk is painted on your face as you watch the figure fades away from your sight. You get excited about what will happen later. It may be a punishment, but either way, you still get what you want.

______

| дорогой : dear

[twisted-tales-told]

🔥 ??

This ask game

On a completely unrelated note

Anyone on marauders TikTok at this point I simply do not trust. I don’t like your vibe. Your existence irritates me and I can’t wait for life to knock u off your high horse a bit. Not like a lot, but enough to make you bearable to share the planet with.

People have taken the marauders fandom way too far and way too seriously and I think it should all just burn down.

Erase it all. Give it 5 years to cool off.

Also snape is not that bad?? Yall are fucking CRAZY in your hating him but hyping up Barty. Crazy. Insane. “He bullied children” well your guy tortured Frank and Alice longbottom and fucking killed people for the sake of blood purity. Therefore I challenge you to come up with a legitimate excuse and not some random fictional morale code?? Like why is that the line. Why is that your reason. “He bullied children” for gods sake do you hear yourself??

At least be creative jfc.

I think there’s a lot of nuance to Snapes story, especially with aspects of class, privilege, gender (being a white male vulnerable to extremist ideology due to upbringing and life experiences)

ALSO ITS FICTION

It’s fucking fiction. I say where the story is interesting because it’s MY blog.

Anyways this will probably be my last ever marauders post so I’m going out with a bang.

The reason there’s so many male fics is because creating characters from just a name is hard and not really in the nature of fanfiction and the only marauders era fleshed out characters are Sirius black and Remus Lupin because they’re the only ones in the Harry Potter books.

Like what yall have done creating depth in all these side characters is truly phenomenal but ohmygod the way you attack people so quickly for just writing m/m ships in this space where the only canon fleshed out characters are the men is INSANE. Thats literally what brought them here. You’re the weird one. And be weirder!’ Be weirder enough to write the W/W fanfiction with those little one fact character skeletons. I support you this is the place for that!! Stop being mean to other people and show some initiative or I will fucking fire you. With actual flames.

ALSO let people make fan films, don’t let people make fan films. Maybe it’s a scam, maybe it’s being written by criminals from their prison cells. Maybe it’s just people out here trying to do a group project like this is school. Stop. Caring. It’s none of your business.

I have never cared for cosplay, you do you boo but it’s not my thing. I do think it’s fucked up when you treat them like the character though and mess with their lives as human beings. Maybe try being normal, or pursuing a career in becoming a shitty therapist because you seem to care a whole lot about other peoples business.

Read fics because you like the summery or because you found it at 2 am in a comment section or ao3s page. Dont read fics because it’s “the it fic” right now. That’s bordering way too close to fast fashion trends and that is not allowed here. You are breaking the non-capitalist rules of our weird nerd hub.

You are not going to like the hyped up TikTok book.

Let that philosophy apply here.

Also This is not a book. It is a fanfic. Treat it like someone brought home made cookies to your doorstep. If you bite it and spit it in their face because you forgot to tell them you had a nut allergy or you wanted brownies instead it is your bad. You should have asked about the nuts, and you should say THANK YOU YOU MADE ME COOKIES.

Anyways goodbye forever marauders fandom it was fun I love all you silly little characters. I made lifelong friends, I laughed I cried I puked in my mouth a little (—meg from supernatural) but mostly you made me realize how fucking stupid it all is and fear for our future as a civilization.