#excerpt from a book i will never write

[thewaitingluna]

I want to share the things I like with someone who understands.

[letterstokami]

[writingthethoughtsaway]

“I believed you even when I knew you were lying.”

- S. C. C.

[heretoobsessstuff]

“we’re all gonna miss major Cleven, sir”.

Major Cleven John thought bitterly. Gale. Sweet beautiful Gale. Gale who was there. In the cockpit. Fighting for his life while John was sleeping next to a random woman. Gale who was falling from the sky. Living his last moments. Losing blood. In pain. Scared and cold and alone. While John was here in London. Drinking and coaxing a random woman to spend more time in his bed. Where was Gale now? His Gale. Laying on the dirt and mud somewhere? Lost in some distant German field with no one to look for him? His ocean blue eyes forever closed? What had become of him? Of his Gale? Was anything even left of him?

John felt sick with anger. His thoughts ran wild with no one to tame them. I should’ve never left him alone. I should’ve been up there with him. Protecting him. Looking out for him. It was supposed to be me and him left up in the sky. Not me in London and him lost somewhere I can never reach. It’s all my fault. I failed him. I failed him. Grief clawing at his throat. Suffocating him. His eyes stinging with unshed tears and the lump he had swollen down a hundred times with the alcohol. He needed to go. Avenge Buck. Or find him. Or join him. Wherever he was.

“Don’t worry Kenny” he said. Jumping into the Jeep. Hands shaking. “I don’t even feel it”.

[manicmortalmushroom]

[hakaan05]

Im not asking for the world, only you.

Come to my doorstep soaked and I would have had everything I asked for, muddy my carpets and invade my home with everything you, and I shall buy carpets in your favorite color

[dopamineadict24]

why is being happy the hardest thing in the world

[boushwrites]

"Two people who love each other continue to resemble one another, to the point where an observer might think they share a blood bond, unaware that God has tied them with a strong bond of love."

Intertwined souls, a connection seen by all, felt by two.

[suncraves]

sometimes it's not enough that I scream out your name, believing that the red would turn black the the second I look away.

Aren't i always giving you enough? aren't i whispering your name enough, like a scared prayer?

I keep find myself wanting to go find something else to call my home but your bound doesn't leave me alone, whispering, in my ear like dripping melody

isn't red is what you crave? will it still be what you want—home—if it's not in red ?

[devanofficial]

childhood friendships be like, we played pretend everyday in kindergarten, we were mermaid dogs and potion makers and astronaut fairies, you gave me a strange look when i made up an underwater unicorn scenario in middle school, you bit my arm once in elementary school because you didn’t want to share the pirate ship wheel on the playground anymore, i still tell that story because i have a scar from your tooth, we did ballet and tap together but then went to different dance schools and it wasn’t the same, i quit after it messed up my ankles but i still kept your nutcracker christmas cards throughout high school and imagined us dancing together, we watched cinderella iii on dvd together and talked about how much better the prince was in the sequels, that was the last time i went over your house and i wish i had known that then, later i heard you talking about how weird i was to people i thought you didn’t like, you repeated things i said as examples but they had made you fall off the bed with laughter back then, i don’t understand when you outgrew me but i thought we had been girls together.

[thewaitingluna]

What a torturous heart—trying to remember and forget at the same time.

[letterstokami]

[writingthethoughtsaway]

“Do you have any idea of how many little things remind me of you everyday?”

- S. C. C.

[myonlywayoutofhere]

“I want you to love me but I understand why you love her instead”

-day 599 (via myonlywayoutofhere)

[manicmortalmushroom]

[hakaan05]

There are still bits of pieces of you, residue of pretenses disguised as promises that linger. I am over you, yes, but you have stained me like glass, colored me in your ways that could only be removed by shattering. I like the way I turned out.