#except the imaginary people in my brain

[gaysforbyler]

You can insult my writing all you want, but you can’t say I don’t put any thought into it

The hardest part about writing isn’t figuring out the storylines or dialogue. It’s trying to write actions in the correct order so that the reader isn’t absolutely discombobulated.

He goes to door. He hears voice. He stops.

Does he stop because he hears a voice at the door? No, because I haven’t set the setting at the door yet.

Is he at the door, hears a voice, then stops? No, because that doesn’t flow well.

Does he hear a voice at a door and then stops? No, because again, I need to set the scene

[bestlilithian]

Random personal experiences w my placements and aspects

Neptune in 6th house

- random hallucinations throughout the day?? I go around wondering if the fly I hear buzzing around in my room is real or not cause Im prone to little hallucinations like that or in worse cases hearing footsteps and knocking

- so much daydreaming. id pay someone to make me stop because the thing is I dont even want to but its affecting me negatively

- almost constantly tempted to do something that could be considered an addictive behavior (for example Im a lil bored and suddenly a pack of cigarettes sounds yummy)

- anxiety 🫶 about the stupidest, tiniest things throughout the day. I dont stress before life changing finals and exams,,, I do however wonder if today is the day that I die in a car accident because I didnt feel like putting my seatbelt on in a usually empty area.

- randomly dissociating

Chiron in 6th

- every day is pain 😁

- beating myself up for not being productive and then not doing anything about it

- pathological demand avoidance

Gemini moon

- my brain cannot and will not relax ever

- reading. so much reading and processing except instead of reading Dostoyevsky its usually either reading up about my astro placements or indulging in an extremely long ao3 fic

- need to always be listening to or reading something. like yeah let me listen to someone analyze societal issues and contemplate life in a 1h video essay while I brush my teeth and make breakfast

- videos on 1.5x. Yall need to talk faster (I <3 ppl who talk fast naturally)

- vividly hearing other peoples voices in my head. 💀 not like theyre talking to *me*, just as if some people whose voices I recognize are having a convo and I hear it, except theyre *not there* and the convo doeent make sense . Its not a hallucination tho I can tell its in my mind but its still very weird and distracting esp when Im trying to sleep or concentrate

- ranting to my imaginary friend whos actually kinda conscious ngl might even be a tulpa at this point

[bobbile-blog]

Not sure if anyone’s said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural I’m fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think they’re chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. There’s a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.

I can’t really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply it’s woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words “morally negative church in a grimdark setting” and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, that’s so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if you’ve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. “Religion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misled” isn’t just edgy nonsense, it’s also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.

So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. It’s the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they don’t want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.

Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like “how do you deal with the interpretation of scriptures” and “hey there’s this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or what”. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. It’s good critique.

Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because she’s a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer he’s been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoain’s story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Ahead’s ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.

But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but there’s one particularly important connection between the two, and that’s that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories don’t contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as she’s uninterested in any of Andoain’s morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, it’s secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and we’re not gonna ignore that, but we’ll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesn’t contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but that’s not his job, so he doesn’t need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.

This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I don’t explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your “Saint George slays a dragon” kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I don’t really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Law’s perspective on things, but I don’t totally buy that - I think it’s more in a weird narrative transition space for people who don’t read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executor’s shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. They’re both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and that’s all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that “that’s all there is to it”.

But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Ahead’s ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. It’s unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, it’s good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that weren’t. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. It’s okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.

I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executor’s story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isn’t actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event he’s done a total 180 and is blocking Oren’s attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of “kill the bad guy and that’s all there is do it”, and gives his attention to the people he isn’t supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction we’re going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events aren’t going to get better - they’re going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, they’re going to actually start to change things for the better.

Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but I’m going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.

[katsu28]

hi Kait!! might i be able to request "Black Dahlia - a lie" with Bradley bradshaw pleaseeee thank you!

ngl i think i got a little too carried away with this but man oh man did i have fun, pls enjoy!

black dahlia: a lie, bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader, rooster is a total simp, 2.3k

Rooster had a staring problem. Sometimes he spaced out in the middle of a training debrief without realizing he was looking straight at Phoenix the whole time, sometimes his furrowed brows made Maverick think he was angry at something when in reality he was just focused. Sometimes he creeped random people out because he just…didn’t know he was staring. 

But most times, the unsuspecting focus of his staring was you. There was just something about you that had his eyes searching for you in every room he entered, drew his eyes to you every time you entered. He just couldn’t help it. Everything about you, from the way you laughed, to the way that you said his name, to the way your eyes sparkled when you smiled at him. Even the way you elbowed him in the ribs when he made a terrible joke had him hooked on you. 

And you had no idea. 

“Rooster. Rooster, you didn't laugh at my—what are you even looking at?” Hangman sounded deflated, but once his eyes tracked Rooster’s line of sight to you he knew what was going on in that feathery nicknamed brain of his friend. He’d known it pretty much all along. It was an unspoken thing, but he knew. Everyone knew. Everyone except you, apparently. 

“Oh, I see it now. You don’t like my jokes as much as you like Y/N.”

Rooster tore his gaze from where you were chatting with Penny at the bar to see Hangman with his hands on his hips, looking entirely too smug. “Sorry, what?” His ears had picked up the blond man’s jest, but surely he’d heard it wrong. 

“There’s no shame in admitting it. You have a crush on her.” 

“I’m not ashamed, I’m just—” 

“So you do have a crush!” 

Rooster scowled, brows pinching in the middle as he gripped the neck of his beer a little tighter. “I’m a grown man, I don’t have a crush.” 

“So you’re in love.” 

“What? No, I’m not—we’re…friends, that’s it.” 

“You’re a terrible liar, Bradshaw.” Phoenix cut in, poking him in the gut with the end of her pool cue. “Cut the shit and let us know how you really feel.” 

There really wasn’t any way out of this other than to tell the truth, so he sighed. “Okay, so maybe—just maybe—I might possibly have some feelings for Y/N.” 

“Yeah, and those feelings are called love,” Hangman said smugly, an ever present smirk gracing his face once again. He wasn’t wrong. He was actually right on the money, but Rooster would be damned if he let that son of a bitch know he was right. 

“Screw you, Hangman. I’m not talking about this anymore.” 

He thought he must’ve sounded more serious than he’d intended, because Hangman actually shut up for once, zipping his lips with an imaginary key before miming throwing it over his shoulder. Phoenix just nodded, knowing well enough not to push her luck with the subject. 

Nothing about the conversation was mentioned the rest of the night, especially not when you’d made your way back over to the group of them and stayed for a while. Rooster almost forgot about it until a few days later. 

Flight training had let out for the day a little later than usual, nearing half past seven when the pilots were finally trailing into the parking lot to go home. 

“Up for a round at the Hard Deck, fellas?” Hangman offered. There were a few mumbled declines to the invitation scattered amongst the squad and he looked disappointed. Leave it to Hangman to still have energy for a beer after the grueling day they’d all just had. 

Rooster had half a mind to say no too. All he wanted to do was go home and sit on the couch and probably do nothing for the rest of the night, that’s how tired he was. He wandered towards where he’d parked the Bronco this morning, getting almost halfway there when he heard Hangman’s voice again. 

“Phoenix, c’mon, I know you’ll do me a solid this time. I’ll buy. I’ll even let you win at pool!” 

“No can do, Bagman, I’m in a time crunch—gotta get to Y/N’s house.” 

Upon hearing your name, Rooster froze, willing himself to walk away, but his curiosity won out very quickly. He turned around as casually as he could, hiking his duffel a little higher on his shoulder. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, she’s fine. She asked to borrow a necklace for her date tonight, so I gotta pop over there before she heads out.” Phoenix shrugged, patting her jacket pocket. Rooster couldn’t help the way his eyebrows flew up in surprise and she noticed, knowing smile already gracing her lips. “Everything okay with you, Bradshaw?” 

“Fine. It’s, uh—no, yeah everything’s good.” He mumbled, clearing his throat. Hangman coughed from behind him, sounding suspiciously like ‘bullshit’, but Rooster paid him no mind. He was more focused on the fact you were going on a date with someone else. Someone that wasn’t him. 

Then again, who the fuck did he think he was, having some kind of bullshit thoughts about who you went out with. He had no right, he knew that. But that didn’t stop him from feeling like he’d just been punched in the gut. 

“Hey, why don’t I drop it off for you?” He blurted, pressing his lips into a thin smile. Phoenix looked confused. He was confused at himself too, honestly. What the hell was he doing? “I just, I mean your place is the opposite way and I’m gonna pass her neighborhood anyways, so…I can do it.” Now she looked amused. 

“Since when did you get all helpful and shit?” 

“Pretty sure I’ve always been helpful.” 

“You sure there’s no other reason why you’re volunteering to see her? None at all? Maybe one starting with L and rhyming with shove?” Hangman chimed in, grinning wickedly. Phoenix nodded in agreement, her smile now mirroring his. 

“I’ll shove you, Hangman. Shut up.” Rooster said sharply. He turned his gaze back to Phoenix. “No. No other reason. I’ll drop it off on my way home and that’s it.” 

It was a bold faced lie and he knew his friends saw right through it, but he didn’t really care. 

“Okay. Suit yourself.” She shrugged, fishing the necklace out of her pocket and pouring it into his outstretched hand. “Would ya look at that, Bagman? Looks like I’m free to beat you at pool after all.” 

“I’m not buying you a beer anymore, that was a one time offer and it’s expired,” Hangman protested, much to Phoenix’s chagrin because she scoffed. 

“Like hell it has! You promised a free beer and a win, I expect you to deliver. But make an effort to play fair, don’t just throw the game ‘cause that wouldn’t be a good look for me.” 

Rooster could hear their bickering until he hopped into his car, but he peeled out of the parking lot in a blink, on the move to you. 

He didn’t have a wisp of a plan in his mind when he pulled to a stop in front of your place. His hands shook where they were clenched around the steering wheel and he was sweating a little bit, but he had no idea what he was going to say to you. He just knew he needed to say something. 

Five minutes and countless unhelpful self pep talks later, Rooster was finally ringing the doorbell, necklace in his pocket but still no clearer on what his end goal was. His mind went even more blank when you opened the door, because shit, you were breathtaking. 

You had on a pretty dress in his favorite color and you were adjusting the strap of your heel when you laid eyes on him standing on your doorstep. Putting aside the confusion on your face at the sight of him and not Phoenix, Rooster would rank this as one of his favorite moments ever. 

“Bradley?” You sounded concerned, nose crinkled to match. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uh…” He trailed off, probably sounding completely stupid as he blinked at you dumbfoundedly. You said his name again, a little louder this time, and he snapped out of it. 

He dug around in his pocket clumsily until his fingers closed around the delicate chain and pulled it out, letting it dangle from his hand as he held it out. “Nat asked me to swing this by on my way home from base.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually him who insisted on being the one to save the day. That would sound too weird, maybe even borderline creepy. 

Your eyes lit up at the sight of your awaited necklace and you beamed, beckoning him into your front hallway. “You’re the sweetest, Bradley. Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to detour.” 

“S’no problem. What’s a few more minutes on the road to help a friend?” 

“Maybe a few more minutes.” You said sheepishly, looking a tad embarrassed. “D’you—would you mind helping me put it on? I’ve never been good at clasping them on my own.” 

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Sure.” He moved behind you, trying not to inhale too sharply when you moved your hair off your neck. God, all he wanted to do was whirl you around and kiss you. Instead, he decided to make some small talk to get his mind out of where it shouldn’t have been in the first place. “So…you’re going on a date. With who? Maybe I know ‘em.” 

“Probably not. He’s not Navy, I met him at the gym a few weeks ago. His name’s Vinny. He’s a boxer.” 

Vinny. Sounded like an asshole name. 

“Didn’t know boxers were your type.” He said casually, working deftly to latch the tiny hook. 

“Yeah?” You sounded amused. “And what exactly do you think my type is?” 

Me, he wanted to say. But he held his tongue, instead opting for a noise of nonchalance. 

“That’s a shame. Would’ve thought you of all people would know.” 

“Why?” 

“You’ve always seemed to know me best.” You said simply. Rooster’s fingers fumbled the clasp in surprise. “When I’m down, you always know how to make me smile. When I’m upset, you seem to know exactly what’ll help. You know everything I like, everything I hate. You know me like the back of your hand. How is that?” 

“I…pay attention.” 

“So that means you know Hangman’s favorite song? Fanboy’s comfort movie? What about Phoenix and Bob’s secret handshake?” You weren’t facing him, so he had no idea if you were being serious or not, but he was stumped. 

His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, brain scrambling for any shred of an excuse for not knowing any of those answers. He paid attention, yes, but only to you. Rooster’s fingers brushed along your bare shoulder softly in lieu of a response, too tender of a moment for two friends to be sharing. 

“Don’t go.” He breathed. You froze, and Rooster swore it was the longest few seconds in his life. But then you turned around, wide eyes searching for his. Your lips parted like you were about to say something, but he shook his head, inhaling a shaky breath. “Don’t go on that date.” 

“Why?” Your voice was impossibly quiet, so much so that he wouldn’t have heard you say anything at all had you not been this close to each other. 

“Because when Phoenix mentioned it, I felt like I’d just done an inverted dive. And not in a good way, I’m talking about the ‘I’m about to puke’ feeling. Because I can’t stop thinking about you even though I should be thinking about anything else, because I don’t know what I’d do if we weren’t friends. Because I don’t wanna be just friends anymore.” Rooster admitted, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. He was too far in now to quit and run away with his tail between his legs. This was happening, whether it was a good idea or not. “Because…I’m in love with you.” 

You just blinked at him slowly, processing his words the best you could. He could practically see the wheels turning in your head, and it did nothing to quell the ball of nerves turning over in the pit of his stomach. 

Forget what he was feeling earlier—this was definitely the longest few seconds of his life. It felt more like an eternity. 

He was about to apologize, to say sorry for dumping out his feelings for you right before you were about to go on a date with someone else, but you beat him to the punch with something much, much better. 

You grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and you kissed him. Hard. 

More surprised than anything, it took him a beat to register what was actually happening, but his hands slid around your waist to splay across your back when it finally sunk in. He backed you against the nearest wall, but took special care in slipping a hand behind your head so it didn’t bounce off it, all while never letting his mouth leave yours. Your hands found their way to his broad shoulders, roaming around the expanse of flexed muscle shifting under your palms. 

It wasn’t the perfect kiss. It was clumsy and messy and a little overexcited, but it was perfect to Rooster. He could only hope you were thinking the same. 

He finally (albeit reluctantly) pulled away a bit, just enough to give you some air. “What do you think? Are you—does this mean what I think it means?” 

You smiled, linking your hands behind his neck. “I think…I’ve come down with a nasty case of food poisoning and I need to cancel my date.” You said softly.

Rooster nodded solemnly. “And I think I should stay. Y’know, in case you need anything during this awful bout of said food poisoning.” 

“That’s a good idea.”

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[nabbit-unmasked]

Thinking about when time when I was in Reddit therian and otherkin communities.

Once time, I made a google slides presentation for myself with positivity about being C.A.R. kin, and every single being supported me except this one exclusionist guy. He called me controversial and had a whole argument with me in the comments.

He was very strict about who he saw as a valid otherkin and gatekeeped others to hell and back. It wasn't just with me and being an African nation, but he pretty much nitpicked everyone he saw. If there was anything about them that didn't match his perfect standard of being an 100% involuntary, monokin/very few kin, non-physical, completely serious, not seeking validation, mythical creature otherkin, he found a way to argue with you and tell you what he thought you should be. This man was in his 20s and talking to a bunch of experimental/new-to-kin teenagers about this stuff, mind you.

Later on, my and a fellow otherkin friend messaged a user that he was, once again, gatekeeping and invalidating. I believe it was because they were original species kin, but I'm not quite sure. Either way, they reported him and he was banned the next day (thank goodness).

When I was in Reddit spaces, this wasn't all that uncommon either. He was just a more extreme example. People did make fun of "tumblr kins", which I believe was a satirical/troll movement a couple years back that made fun of bizzare kintypes and experiences. But the same idea still stuck; sometimes, tumblr was known as the place with a bunch of fakers and confused teens with 50+ kintypes, which is extremely indicative of "faking" in reddit spaces.

I admit that I partook in it gatekeeping, too. Specifically in therian spaces: it was extremely common for young & new therians to come in and ask if they were a valid therian, and a few people would reply and tell them the usual spiel: "as long as you aren't controlling it and you dont think you're physically an animal and you identify as not with, then yes!!!!"

When I found the r/alterhuman subreddit instead of other big kin subreddits, I totally changed my views on who counted as a "real therian/otherkin/whatever-else-kin". If you identify as it, you are it, and only you can decide that for yourself. It's no one else's decision, because they aren't in your mind.

That's when I left Reddit and came over here.

I realized something that could have been useful years ago when I was experiencing impostor syndrome over my plurality.

If you think you're faking, what's the reason for that? Is it because you feel like you subconsciously chose to be the way you are? Is it because you got hyperfixated on the community you're in? Is it because you dont experience any of the common or "more serious" traits of your identity?

Chances are, whatever it is that's making you feel that way is actually valid. Gatekeepers will try to shape their communities into the perfect mold that their brain sees them as, or as the people around them have made it out to seem. In reality, the ideal community is completely subjective and imaginary. There is no one, no force, no ideology that can stop you from identifying the way you do. It's entirely mental, individual, and personal. Theoretically, I could put on any label that I wanted to right now, and no one but myself could stop me.

After I realized I could apply that to myself, I understood most of my imposter syndrome came from the fact that my autism clung to communities and made me subconsciously gravitate to them due to hyperfixation. I always tried to find reasons why that couldn't be true, but I realized I didn't have to do that anymore. I accepted that was essentially what was happening. If someone did develop their identity, subconsciously or not, due to a hyperfixation, that was valid. When I built my own moral compass and stopped gatekeeping others, I was then able to stop gatekeeping my own self.

[eiraeths]

y’all know janitor from scrubs? he gives me ghost vibes. if y’all don’t know who janitor is just know this: he’s a pathological liar (but it’s over minor things for his own entertainment) and two he actively tries to make the main character of scrubs, JD, life harder over a small little incident. dude can hold a grudge.

anyway here’s a bunch of janitor quotes from scrubs except replacing it with ghost being janitor and soap is JD because it honestly made so much sense in my head. I also think a lot of dr cox quotes fit price or ghost so some of those too. actually price could also be dr kelso in a lot of this good lawd.

———

Ghost: [mouths] I'm going to kill you.

Soap: [silently] What?

Ghost: [gestures and mouths] I'm going to kill you.

Soap: Why?

Ghost: [shrugs]

———

Price: Look, you and I are alike in a lot of ways.

Ghost: We both harbor an internal struggle between the desire to do good, and the urge to become a master criminal.

Price: We don't.

Ghost: We do.

Price: You hate people, and I hate people. What nobody gets is that we never hate indiscriminately.

Ghost: That is so true. I only hate those that have wronged me. Like if they stole my stuff, or put a penny in a door. Or... that guy. See this look he shot us, like he's so much better than we are.

Price: Plus, he's only 25, and earlier I heard him use the phrase "Back in the day".

Ghost: Well, he's dug his own grave, hasn't he? Let's do this.

———

Soap: Did you lose something?

Ghost: No, why? Did you take something?

Soap: No.

Ghost: What'd you take?

Soap: Nothing.

Ghost: What'd you take?

———

[Soap walks out of the elevator as Ghost mops the floor]

Ghost : Hey!

Soap: What? I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. What imaginary slight have you concocted in that paranoid brain of yours?

[Ghost looks down to the trail of muddy footprints trailing Soap]

Soap: [internally] Crap.

Soap: Well, shouldn't there be some sort of sign... Oh, look at that. Well, you should put it back down before someone slips and falls.

Ghost: Oh, is that what I should do? Good, because I make most decisions based on your opinion. You know what, I'm thinking of splitting up with the wife. Maybe you could mull that over, get back to me, maybe pow-wow. [a woman slips] Floor's wet, ma'am. Little help over here. Little help.

———

Gaz: Cap’n, what's our plan of attack?

Price: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.

Soap: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.

Price: Uh-huh.

Ghost: I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them I'd show you.

[poor rookie of the day walks up behind Ghost and wisely decides to back away]

Ghost: He's near.

———

[Ghost sprays a window with blue cleaning fluid and wipes it. He then aims the spray in his mouth. Price takes a second look as he passes by.]

Ghost: I filled it with blue Gatorade. I just do that to freak people out.

Price: Scintillating

———

[As a boy plays with a toy car in his bed, he accidentally knocks over his juice carton]

A Boy: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Gaz: Hey, it's okay.

A Boy: But now the Ghost Who Hates Spills is gonna come.

Gaz: Who?

Ghost: You're right, boy. He might come this very night. And as you know, that ghost's entire family was killed by a careless spill. Just like yours. Just like yours. Hmm.

———

Gaz: Oh, hi. Are we going out? What's with the jumpsuit?

Ghost: Okay, first of all if we're gonna make it, not a jumpsuit. Shirt, belt, pants.

Gaz: Oh. Ok.

Ghost: Secondly, I think it's time that you knew the real me. All right, here we go. I'm not like normal people. I don't have superpowers, but I'm working on it. For instance, watch me move this pen. [looks at pen, which doesn't move] It worked at home. I don't know. Maybe my table is slanted. Um, anyway, in my spare time, I also enjoy stuffing animals. Usually with other animals. For instance, a badger will hold five squirrels. A squirrel will hold most of a cat. A mouse will hold a shrew and a vole. You get the idea. Circle of life. I have broken the sound barrier, but you must never ask me how. I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.

Price: Ha! I love a good train wreck.

Ghost: Furthermore, I think if you look closely a monkey-

Soap: Stop it, you. he doesn't know you're joking.

———

Ghost: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Watch your step, there, Gaz.

Gaz: Thanks, Ghost.

Gaz: [internally] He is so sweet. But why doesn't he just put up a sign that says "wet floor"?

[Soap screams as he slides across the floor and crashes]

Ghost: Wet floor.

———

Soap: [gasps] Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time?

Ghost: I don't jump out and scare you. I follow you around all day. I only got about an hour-and-a-half worth of work around here, and the rest of the time, I track you, like an animal.

Soap: You're kidding, right?

Ghost: [chuckles] I don't know. Am I?

———

Soap: Holy-

Ghost: [whispering] Calm down. I didn't mean to scare you.

Soap: [whispering] Why are we whispering?

Ghost: [whispering] I wanted to see if you would whisper because I whispered.

Soap: [whispering] I think I would.

———

Ghost: I convinced everybody in on base that's afraid of me to go outside and spell out the score of the game.

Price: Really?

Ghost: No, you idiot. I'm just gonna tell you the score of the game. Maybe knock your head against the glass.

Price: Look, I was way out of line telling you how that movie ended, but, God save me, watching sports is one of the last pure pleasures I have left in my life, so you tell me what's it gonna take for you to let me go home, sit in my massage chair, and enjoy the game?

Ghost: I would like to perform open heart surgery.

Price: No.

Ghost: How about you perform surgery on me so that I can breathe underwater?

Price: No.

Ghost: I would like a shark that read minds.

Price: No.

Ghost: You and I trade lives for a year.

Price: No.

Ghost: How about a home-cooked meal and an hour in your massage chair?

Price: Done.

Ghost: Done.

[Ghost walks over to the window and looks outside, where a large group of rookies have arranged themselves to spell out "98-97"]

Ghost: Hey, guys, it's off.

[He looks again and they have rearranged themselves to read "Why"]

Ghost: Wow! You guys are organised.

———

Ghost: Look, if I learnt one thing from my parents, it's this. The key to a good marriage is keeping your emotions bottled up until they finally explode and you have to lash out physically.

Soap: You mean, beat each other up?

Ghost: I mean beat yourself up. My mother once snapped her own index finger because my father was late for church. She dented the car, he threw himself down the stairs.

———

Gaz: Soap, you're not that self-destructive.

Ghost: Really? I was gonna suggest he seek professional help. Would you be interested in seeing a cognitive therapist? 'cause I know a guy, he's good. I'm going to give you his card, then I'm gonna bash your head in. I'll see you in the morning.

Soap: I'm in at 7.

Ghost: Wear a helmet.

———

okay that’s it

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Is there a life after IwtV Season 2?

So, Interview with the Vampire Season 2 is over, you have already rewatched it a dozen times and don’t know what to do with yourself?

Here’s a list of suggestions!

Read the books

I might be biased because I have been a fan since the early 2000s, but they are genuinely worth a read. A lot of people struggle especially with the first book, which I understand – but you can absolutely skip it and start right away with The Vampire Lestat! Especially The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned are a great read and they are what is coming up next in the show. A lot of the plot of QotD happens at the same time as The Vampire Lestat, so I expect that material from both books will come up in the next season.

If you have a brain that enjoys audio books, they are actually available for free on youtube (though the narrator pronounces Louis’ name wrong). The version on the commercial audio book platforms read by Simon Vance is better though, if that’s an option for you. :)

The books after that are very much a mixed bag, but they all have some great and some downright crazy stuff in them, because Anne Rice’s writing was pretty unhinged at times. It’s a ride, but imho one worth taking.

Watch reaction videos on YouTube

I think I have by now watched all reactions that are available. For me it really brings a lot of joy to relive the experience of a first-time watch by proxy. Some are frustrating because people talk over important dialogue, some hold genuine galaxy brain moments by people who know nothing of the material. I will not recommend anyone, because vibes vary for everyone, but I’m sure there’s a reactor out there that YOU will vibe with.

Watch other shows/movies with the actors

Did you know that “Talk Radio”, written by and starring Eric Bogosian is available in full on youtube? I haven’t watched it yet, but I hear it’s really good.

For Sam Reid, I can’t recommend “Lambs of God” highly enough, and I hear great things about The Newsreader, which I sadly can’t get my hands on at the moment. “Belle” is also a beautiful movie, but his part is rather small as far as I remember.

Then of course there’s Hotel Portofino for Assad (but I’m not yet that desperate).

I actually haven’t watched anything with Jacob Anderson except Game of Thrones, which I will NOT rewatch, so I’m happy for suggestions there!

Watch the movies that have been namedropped by Rolin Jones

Hedwig and the Angry Inch – a phenomenal movie and stage show in its own right. It’s fun, it’s beautiful, it’s queer as fuck, the music is excellent and it’s an absolute must-watch.

Rocky Horror Picture Show – honestly, if you have never seen this movie, what are you waiting for?

The Dirt – Rolin Jones has mentioned the book, but there was actually a pretty decent movie made about Mötley Crüe a few years ago, that I really enjoyed.

Also, I have seen Amadeus mentioned several times, I’m not sure if that came up in an interview but it’s an excellent movie and the parallels to the relationship between Lestat and Armand are definitely there.

Honorary mention: Fight Club, not because anyone has mentioned it but… the parallels warrant an essay that I might one day have to write. (Themes: Queerness of male on male violence, imaginary boyfriends, idealization of toxic masculinity)

Read the books from Rolin Jones' reading list

I have now spent 10 minutes googling for that interview where he lists the books he’s reading for Season 3, but can’t find it. Someone please drop it in the comments?

Learn French

Want to feel closer to your favorite actors? Why not go through the same hell as them and get bullied by the Duolingo owl while at it? ❤

Discord servers

I’m not active there right now, but I have found several fandom servers that seem like great communities.

Read Fanfic

Honestly the reason this is down here is because it’s so obvious. :)

Get creative

Write fanfic, draw fan art, roleplay, edit videos, make unhinged memes!

And always: Support the content creators!

Everytime I scroll the tag I see new creators entering the fandom and let me tell you, after almost 20 years of drought, I am overjoyed. Same goes for fic writers, youtube reactors and reviewers! Leave them a like, a comment or whatever is available on the platform they are using.

Edit:

Watch the musical!

I completely forgot! There’s a Lestat musical by Elton John. Yes, you read that right. This lovely YouTube account has full bootlegs for you to enjoy some camp broadway fun!

[3liza]

interesting case in my "shit that doesn't matter" stack of files right now. started watching a twitch streamer who isn't super famous or anything and does funny VODs that don't annoy me too much usually so it's good for background noise. so he is constantly doing little sniffs with his nose, which DOES annoy the crap out of me. eventually I watch enough footage to hear him address it and he says he has ocd and the sniffing is compulsive. now I immediately disagree with whoever diagnosed this because the sniffs are not unproductive, by which I mean I can hear clearly that he has postnasal drip. he's not sniffing compulsively, or it he is, he's ALSO sniffing to keep actual mucus from exiting his nose. it's not imaginary sniffing he has a clogged nose. and he sneezes and coughs regularly as well. he has pets, a couple guinea pigs and cats at least.

I don't know this guy at all I can't contact him and be like "dude try clairitin or vacuuming more" and it would be incredibly annoying to have someone pop into your twitch chat to berate you about something like this anyway. but it's almost definite, just to the little House MD who lives in my brain, that some idiot at some point told this man that his nose sniffing was purely compulsive and was a problem of his mental health and/or willpower, or possibly he self diagnosed, but he is verbally beating himself up about it and apologizing about once every VOD. he thinks it's a bad habit he needs to simply overcome. but he has allergic rhinitis, a physical issue where mucus is being produced in his head and irritating his nose and throat. it's not imaginary or compulsive.

very weird case with zero stakes except "something that mildly annoys me" but people especially these days in smog conditions are doing this stuff a lot more because they just aren't aware that air sucks now and lots of people who really don't have a "reason" to have allergies to their environment now have allergies to their environment.

[jesus-is-an-ally]

How do you get past feeling stupid when you believe in God? Like, how do you ignore the feeling that you should be an atheist and not believe in God and that all this is just, a fake made up religion meant to control people? And obviously when i say you i mean i. I want to believe but i feel so dumb for it. I know im a smart person but every time i get involved with christianity i feel like im taking to an imaginary friend because thats how everyone refers to it. I feel like im feeding into an industry that colonized people, when i dont even go to church.

And ive had experiences with God that feel so unlike any religious experience ive had, but my brain always forces me to logic it away. Like ill feel an immeasurable level of calm and happiness and then my brain will go 'those are just endorphins'. How do i get past that?

Long read ahead, but I encourage everyone to read it, because I did my best to answer this and I think there's some good stuff in here.

Hey anon. First I'd like to say that I am not professionally trained, I do not possess a biblical degree of any kind, nor am I a pastor or a priest or anyone like that. But I have been a Christian my entire life, so that should count for something, Lord willing.

I also want to say that I think this is a very good question and I thank you for asking it, as it gave me a chance to think deeply on my faith in order to put it into words.

I always find it really hard to explain faith. I struggle to explain to fellows Christians, to non-Christians, and especially to people who aren’t religious or spiritual in any way. This is probably because faith is very much not a thing of this world, so it is nit easily translatable. But I will try my best.

I too have dealt with doubts in my life. I have felt the need to logic it away. All Christians have one doubt or another, and if they say they haven't, they are lying or potentially believing in a watered down, more palatable version of Christianity.

Either way, let's face it, the world is designed by the devil to make you doubt. The good news is that there is no question or doubt or critique that is going to make God start shaking in Their boots, realizing They hadn't thought of that. They are omnipotent, and anything you are wondering can most likely be found in the Bible, if you know where and how to look.

There are many books that explain the logic of Christianity, such as “Person of Intrest” by J. Warner Wallace or “The Case for A Creator” by Lee Strobel, who has also written many other books similar to this. Fair warning, it’s been forever since I’ve looked into either of these books, so there’s a chance there’s questionable stuff in there that I don’t remember.

However, I do need to say that faith is very much NOT a logical thing. It’s a belief in something that you cannot see, touch, hear, or otherwise sense except with your soul. It's the trust that God is out there, even when you lack concrete evidence.

I believe a person cannot become a believer by force, whether their own or someone else's. You have to truly open up your heart and let the Holy Spirit in. You must confess with your mouth that you believe in the Son of God who died and rose again, that you are a sinner, and that you need forgiveness and guidance.

I'm not pulling this out of my ass, there are a bunch of verses on how faith is not based in the logic of this world. Here are a few.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

For we live by faith, not by sight.

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There's a story I heard when I was a kid about a pastor being asked if he can hear God speaking to him in his prayers, and the pastor responded "no, I can't hear Him, it's much clearer than that". Faith is something practically unexplainable in earthly concepts or words. But it is solid, even it doesn't feel like it.

Hebrews chapter 11 is all about faith and what people have done by it, and I encourage you to read it, but I'd like to specifically call attention to Hebrews 11:1, which says,

Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.

This is the verse often pointed to when people discuss the biblical definition of faith, and it's the best I can offer.

However, it sounds like science and reason is not the only thing you are struggling with. As for morality, how can we be Christians when Christianity was used to abuse, colonize, and murder innocent people all throughout history and even today?

I'm not going to use the bullshit excuse of "oh they just weren't real Christians" because that is unhelpful, defensive, and probably not even true. All Christians are sinners, and hatred, murder, and all of that other stuff are sins, so it is possible that many or all of those people were true believers.

The simple answer to this question is that sometimes you just have to accept that your people did bad things and swear do your best to stop it from happening again (without spending so much energy on it that you burn out). I have had a lot of practice at this since I'm also white.

In German elementary schools, when they teach the children about WW2, what they basically say is “hey, this is our history, you didn’t do it so you don’t have to feel guilt, but you do have a duty to never let it happen again”.

I think this sort of thinking should be taught to the descendants of all oppressive people. I will also add that we also need to check ourselves that no nasty thoughts have slipped their way in. Often, you can continue the hurt without realizing. But this doesn't mean that Christianity is secretly evil or that Christians are inherently going to abuse others or any of that.

At the end of the day, there's nothing I can truly say that will instantly make you believe.

Like I said, it's not something I can force nor is it something you can logic your way into. No amount of evidence, even if it's the most rock-solid thing in all of the universe, can make someone have faith.

I hope there is something in here that can help you in some way, anon, and I pray God blesses you and keeps you safe.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

"Ask me anything" huh? Can I ask you to rant about stuff you love about Doctor Who for a handful of paragraphs, with the additional requirement that you cannot use correct grammar NOR can your statements be fully coherent?

Doctor Who is like 50% fun nonsense and I think commentaries on it should reflect that. No elaborate and precise statements, just pure joy unhindered by foolish concepts such as "making perfect sense".

I was waiting until I was close to going to bed to answer this because this really needs my half-asleep brain to answer properly. (Or improperly, in this case.) Now, onto as grammatically improperly as I can make this (hopefully I pulled this off. like to think I did!):

you know what i love about doctor who? i love that this show covers every single genre in the universe. that it is horror and comedy and historical fiction and sci fi and alternate history and dystopian and myths and steampunk and biopunk and murder mystery and western and fairytale because genre doesn't apply, because the doctor is a mad man in a box telling the story, except that they're not, the doctor's not the one telling the story, because this is really a story about the companions of the doctor, the people who are reflections of them, the people who become the doctor, the people who were doctors all along, the people who were kind and brave and traumatized and curious and above all, wanted to see the stars, because this is a story about the stars, about the grand expanse of space and time, about everything that ever was and ever will be, but the thing is, the mechanics of the show and how seasons are shot and that no actor can ever stay young forever, because the show is made with real people, everyone has to move on, and that's the beauty of it, isn't it? that people have to move on.

writers and actors always have to move on but with doctor who, because some genius (affectionate) in the 60s decided that regeneration would get to be a mechanic in the show we get to have an eternal canon, we get to have renewal, we get to have companions reflect back on the doctor in an infinite number of batshit insane and unhinged ways, we get to see hope and grief and a bottomless fall and an infinite rise because the doctor cannot die even though everyone around them can BUT ALSO because this show is about travelling, about running, about having the entirety of everything that has ever existed or will exist or can't exist or might exist at our fingertips.

as a result you can have episodes like midnight and partners in crime in the same season and no one will bat an eye, you can have the farting calcium invasion-of-the-body-snatchers be the monsters that propel two of the best character pieces i've ever seen in my entire life, you can have capitalism critiques involving fish poop under the thames, you can have them visit the greatest people that will ever live and the worst, you can have them inspire artists and scientists before they die and that's just as important as the aliens or saving the world, you see, because at the end of the day doctor who is about love, it's about the small moments as well as the big saves, it's about wilfred staring at the stars and amy demanding her imaginary friend show up to her wedding and harriet jones worrying about her mother and about danny admiring the fact that a student said please and about ryan and graham learning to ride a bike together and about jackie being the last person that mickey said goodbye to in journey's end, it's about love and character development and charles dickens and vincent van gogh getting to smile and laugh before they die, it's about the love, you see?

doctor who is about running as far and as fast as you can because even though you're more afraid than anyone who has ever existed you have to see them all, you have to love them all, because you have so much love you can't contain it in one heart, that's why you have two hearts, because you love so much, too much, and you will never find peace, you will never find an ending, but right here, right now, you can have this. and that will never be enough, it can't be enough, but it still matters.

because the love was there.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Fav ghosts headcannons?

Too many to name! This show has really given me brain rot and just when I was starting to think the hyperfix was ending.

Okay some random ones.

As ghosts don't need to breathe, sometimes they will just go to the lake and lay on the bottom to watch the fish, or Thomas try to drown himself, or Kitty doing her rendition of Part Of Your World. As they also don't feel much pain, another fun activity is daring each other to jump off the roof. Fanny refuses as she does this enough every morning.

Only four people knew about Mary's trial before she had her big talk about it in S4; Robin, Annie, Humphrey and Alison. Robin is rarely tactful with everyone but as he was the one to watch her die and the first ghost she met he's always been sweet with her about it, Humphrey has talked her through many sleepless nights and of course she relived it all to Annie who was more determined to help unleash her feminine rage. Alison being the last one encouraged her to tell the others (Alison had to take a moment to cry after though because Christ that was awful). Likewise Captain also told Alison the story about Havers before he told the others as it was easier to confide in one person, and she said to just tell the others when he was ready as Mary did but it took him a bit longer to work up the courage until he thought he was literally at death-death's door.

Robin didn't just figure out his ghost power with the invention of electricity, he's always had a connection to thunder storms but rarely tried to practice anything with it as they were part of his ptsd, and sometimes when he got emotional lightning always seemed to strike closer to him. Often times during a big storm other ghosts would find him cowering somewhere like a frightened dog (though ironically he loves fireworks). It's why saving Mike was such a big deal, he had no idea what being struck by lightning again as a ghost would mean, if it would hurt or destroy him but did it anyway (you're welcome, Mike and Alison!).

Julian is Mia's favorite uncle - no of course she loves them all but he has the advantage of being able to text and a betting account he can spend on nothing except her, and he might spoil her a lot to make himself feel better about missing out on his own daughter but they do develop a cute bond even if Alison isn't always sure he's the best influence for her daughter she doesn't come between them.

One I've mentioned before but it really is my favorite, Kitty being able to see Robin, Annie, Humphrey and Mary when she was growing up and having them be her imaginary friends, which they loved until Eleanor teased her for it and forced her to "grow up" and she lost her Sight. It broke all their hearts and they hated not being able to protect Kitty from Eleanor's mental abuse or let her know she was there. Yeah that flashback of their father taking Eleanor to the ball and leaving Kitty to cry? They're all sat around her wanting to give her a hug, I can't unsee it. I wrote a whole fic going into this I love it so much.

[kishfish]

microfic - Jegulus + wolfstar /past lives/

Gryffindor common room. Warm rich comforting red flecked with soft gold. The dying fire casting light into the room and managing to continue spreading warmth. The week before the castle would be empty except for a few strays staying over the Christmas break.

The afterparty was over, even the after afterparty was over. The last dregs of people drained from the room. Shouting votes of thanks to their gracious hosts. The music continued soft through the speaker hooked up to James’ beat up iPod shuffle. Remus and Sirius curled in on eachother on the loveseat. Sirius's head resting where Remus' clavicle pokes out to meet his chest. Remus breathes him in, residual smoke from the blunt they'd shared earlier mixed with the tenderness that is Sirius Black in the early hours. For all Sirius's loudness Remus enjoys these moments of stillness. Sirius sighs further into him and makes a noise of content.

James finds himself on the floor, head leaning against the bit of loveseat that is not taken up by Remus' lanky shape. He is slow in his movements not to disturb Regulus who's head is in his lap, eyes closed, eyelashes fanned out on pink dusted cheeks, residual effects of the firewhiskey's he thought could match Peter in drinking. With the rise and fall of Regulus' chest James runs a hand through the boy's jet black hair wondering how he got so lucky.

By now the common room is all but empty except for them.

Past lives couldn't ever hold me down Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around

It takes a few moments for them to recognise the song through the haze of the lingering post alcohol effects, only slightly controlling their movements now. James and Regulus lift their heads. Regulus now propping himself up with one hand to catch the knowing grin spread across James' face.

Past lives couldn't ever come between us Some time the dreamers finally wake up Don't wake me I'm not dreaming Don't wake me I'm not dreaming

It happens in unison, much like any other ideas shared by Siruis and James, the 'one-brain'. Sirius is jumping from Remus' arms leaving the sandy-haired boy looking like a he's just lost something precious. Regulus is being pulled to his feet by James and pushed into a now pouting Remus' lap from which he slides out of and onto the couch in a split second. Gay awakening scenes involving Remus tutoring an extra charms lesson with a slightly loose tie and flash of midriff as he stretched to write on the chalkboard flit across his mind. A blush spreads across his cheeks.

All my past lives They've got nothing on me Golden eagle, you're the one and only flying high Through the cities in the sky

The thoughts are pushed from his mind from his brain as his brother turns the volume up at least loud enough for the Ravenclaws in their tower to be woken from their sleep. Regulus throws him a look to which he turns it down a notch but the damage is done.

I'll take you way back Countless centuries Don't you remember? That you were meant to be my Queen of Hearts Meant to be my love

James and Sirius are now standing in the centre of the room back-to-back holding imaginary microphones as they belt out the lyrics. Leaving both Remus and Regulus in initial shock. The boys on the couch turn to eachother and share a look of amusement.

Through all of my lives I never thought I'd wait so long for you The timing is right The stars are aligned

James and Sirius belt out the words directed at the boys who have their hearts. Backs touching as they shimmy forward singing loudly, shaking with laughter. The room is filled with a warmth that even Regulus and Remus cannot deny.

So save that heart for me

James looking at Regulus who rolls his eyes.

Cause girl you know that you're my destiny Swear to the moon, the stars

Sirius pointing to Remus on the word ‘moon’ and then gesturing to himself and Regulus, who is trying and failing to hide a smile, when he yells out the word ‘stars’. Remus joining Regulus in an eye-roll.

The sons, and the daughters Our love is deeper than the oceans of water

The singing boys now only a foot away from the couch as they shake their shoulders to the beat of the song, going from back-to-back to facing each other on every alternate line of the chorus.

Hey, I need you now I've waited oh so long yeah Baby love, I need you now I've waited oh so long

Endearment unable to stay off Regulus' face as James is looking at him singing the words surprisingly in key. Sirius holding the imaginary microphone out to Remus waiting expectantly for the boy to sing the next lines into.

Passing seasons Empty bottles of wine

Remus resists for as long as he can but breaks on the last two lines of the verse as they hit home. He would truly be lost without Sirius.

My ancient kingdom came crashing down without you Baby child, I'm lost without your love

Regulus is once again being pulled to his feet by James. This time however he is being enveloped in a one armed hug. James's other hand curled tightly around his imaginary microphone.

Diamond sparrow, my moonlight majesty You know I need you, come flying back to me

James turns into Regulus holding the microphone between them. Getting out a quiet "Hi Reg" without missing a word of the song. Regulus' breath catching as the older boy smiles down at him through the words. Brown eyes meeting grey with adoration.

Through all of my lives I never thought I'd wait so long for you The timing is right The stars are aligned

Remus is now being yanked to his feet and pulled into Sirius, who holds all of his weight as the taller boy adjusts, always aware of Remus' hip pain. This does not stop Sirius from swaying their bodies once Remus is steady on his own feet. Over exaggerated dance moves and pure joy.

So save that heart for me Cause girl you know that you're my destiny

James has let go of the imaginary microphone to hold onto Regulus hips, fingers slipping under the younger boys shirt. Regulus inhales sharply as warm fingers search his lower back. A victory laugh escape James' lips.

Swear to the moon, the stars The sons, and the daughters Our love is deeper than the oceans of water Save that heart for me And girl I'll give you everything you need Here's to our past lives

As the boys move around the room Sirius catches Regulus' eye on the line.

Our mothers and fathers

And gives him a middle finger intended for their parents causing a laugh to burst from his younger brother as he thinks about their parents being absolutely appalled by the current situation.

Our love is deeper than the oceans of water

James now slowing their movements till they're just rocking on the spot. Reg looks up resting his chin on the older boys chest. James still whispering the words.

Hey I need you now I've waited oh so long yeah Baby love, I need you now I've waited oh so long Hey I need you now I've waited oh so long yeah Baby love, I need you now I've waited oh so long

Remus resting his head on top of Sirius' as the shorter boy slows and wraps both his arms around his waist.

So save that heart for me Cause girl you know that you're my destiny

Sirius looks up to catch Remus' look of longing He leans forward slightly catching Remus's lips in a kiss. Still managing to mumble the words softly onto his lips.

Swear to the moon, the stars The sons, and the daughters

Our love is deeper than the oceans of water Save that heart for me And girl I'll give you everything you need Here's to our past lives Our mothers and fathers Our love is deeper than the oceans of water Hey I need you now I've waited oh so long

As the song comes to an end both pairs are interrupted by many disgruntled students shuffling back into the room to complain about that "goddamn noise and of course it is Potter and Black". James giving Regulus a small smile and Remus trying to calm the growing crowd while Sirius chooses to die on the hill that is "the music needed to be that loud or Remus would no longer love him"

[dross-the-fish]

Everytime you talk about the nuances of Adam Character my brain just go even more bonkers. Like, when I first read Frankenstein I was like: well the creature dis nothing wrong. Until he did lol. And you know, although he revenge is so elaborate, the motive are so simple. Like, not simple simple but... I don't know, it's like he's both naive like a child and super inteligent like a adult. That family he was observing for example... He learn things though them and even grow fo think of them as his savior. They didn't even thought that such a creature was living under their house.

And them he create this... whole thing. Like they're were already family. He create fantasies like a little kid and when theses fantasies are broken he just... make a whole fuck up plan of revenge and how he will kill them. When he was disappointed with this family he just didn't killed them because they fled before he knew (lol the whole scene with the blind dad and he desperately pleasing him to protect him was so chaotic).

He just so conflicting. As a character. Because this made me remember that he is so young. He only have some years of life. But he also look and act as a grown up man and speak like one. (It's totally different from him but made me remember about superboy. With him acting older but having him being like... one year old)

That's part of what makes Adam so tragic, how he's clearly very, not young exactly in the sense that we experience youth, but NEW. He was created fully formed and given no guidance. He had to largely parent himself and it's no wonder his perception of things like relationships ended up so skewed. His newness makes him emotionally volatile because he has no baseline whatsoever for learning how to engage with others and form relationships except through observing people. He has enough intellect to know he can't just reveal himself and to understand what he sees when he watches the cottagers but he's still childishly optimistic that he can win their sympathies. And you, as the reader, find yourself in the position of wanting him to succeed, but after his rejection it's like a switch flips. I always felt like something in him broke, especially because DeLacey starts off seeming so understanding but then doesn't do anything at all to advocate for him. Understandable to us because DeLacey is an old blind man and we know the creature is a stranger that he has no reason to trust. Devastating to the creature because he had already built an imaginary home in his mind only to have it ripped away from him. Similar to how Victor would rip away his hope of having a companion later. The Creature lives on dreams because those are all he's allowed to have and when even those dreams are taken from him he starts lashing out because all he has left to live on is revenge. I've always felt like the creature is determined to continue living, if he can't sustain himself on hope then he'll find another motivator, in the end that his rage at Victor. Once Victor is gone he truly has nothing left. Something about the ending always fills me with a sense of grief for the creature because of how hopeless his story was. I think that's why I wanted to save him and I created my own Adam who's story didn't end with Victor's death.

[windvexer]

Hi chicken! I’m in a bit of a sore spot when it comes to spirit work and psychism and have been for a LONG while. Between my hard skepticism keeping my brain bricked off from most of my intuition and my adhd preventing me from focusing for long periods of time I’m kind of at a loss… I have no idea if I’ve ever had an encounter with any kind of spirit, only one persistent instance comes to mind and I have trouble discerning if it’s just…an imaginary friend? A thoughtform? I have 0 experience with the latter for multiple reasons. I have no problems with mental visualization because my profession requires it, but where does normal visualization begin and spirit communication end? I’m not sure where im going with all of this, maybe I just wanted someone else to know my spirit troubles 🥲 I guess all this to say, I’m desperate to communicate with ANYTHING, but nothing ever comes except that one guy who may or may not be a spirit. Am I being too stubborn? Do spirits think my vibes stank? (I promise my vibes aren’t stank) honestly forcing open any psychic stimulation sounds good right about now, any opinions or advice would be incredibly appreciated 🙇🏻‍♀️

I am going to tell you something very terrible and claustrophobic.

I do not believe you are a skeptic, I am sorry to say. I find that all the best spirit workers are deeply skeptical.

Perhaps a good way to view skepticism is the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty. A skeptic is a person who can look at something and neither take it at face value, nor wholly discard the experience and refuse to accept it.

I am not sure I believe in such a thing as "hard skepticism." Skepticism is by definition and necessity soft. It is gentle. It tenderly accepts what is shown to it and cradles it whole, declining to pass judgement one way or the other.

What is the difference between the decision making process of a "hard skeptic" who refuses to believe, and a "true believer" who refuses to doubt? Both have bricked off parts of their minds. Neither are comfortable with uncertainty. Neither can hold onto a thing with soft hands and say to it with love, "I'm uncertain about you."

So I remain unconvinced you are a skeptic.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

Where does visualization end and spirit contact begin?

Visualization does not end. They are not opposite ends of a polar spectrum. Visualization, as in, "I can see pictures inside of my mind" is not requisite to spirit contact and spirit contact does not stem organically from visualization.

Visualization in and of itself is one way some people process ideas. I am a very visual thinker. But I've also got one of those voices in my head that constantly says words. So I'm not only a very visual thinker, but I'm a very auditory one too.

When I communicate with spirits, of course I "see" them and "hear" them.

That was already how my brain was processing things!

I suppose when someone has a thinking style where they are aware of things sans pictures or words, they just hold onto that knowledge, right, it's just there with them, we'd call that claircognizant.

But it's not as if such a person would set out to be claircognizant.

It's just that such a person already had a mind that holds information sans pictures or words, and when they also open themselves up to spirit contact, that's still how they process information.

Earlier in my life I had a very troubled relationship with my own emotions. And when I started really healing my relationship with my own emotions, so that I could begin to actually feel them, face them with confidence, and so on, can you guess what happened?

Why, yes - I suddenly began to receive emotional input from the spirit world as well. Did I suddenly gain some new psychic ability?

No. Feeling emotions is not requisite for spirit work. Visualization is not requisite for spirit work.

Being in tune with yourself is requisite for spirit work. Understanding the channels within your body and mind that receive information is requisite for spirit work. Working on yourself to the point where you are able to understand how sensory input arrives within you, how you process it, and how it personally affects you, are requisite for spirit work.

It is you, your body, emotions, and mind, which is your primary tool for spirit work. Now, you already know some things about yourself. You know you are a visual thinker and you know it is likely you'll receive spirit input as visual images. And you have something else very great as well: a failsafe. Yes, your hard skepticism - the moat and drawbridge that keeps you safe.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

That terrible thing is: how fortunate for you that you are a hard skeptic. How lucky you are that there is some part of your mind which, at every opportunity, seeks to totally block out the reality of the spirit world around us.

Because it is everywhere.

No, not spirits - although there are a lot of them and in many more places than we'd suspect.

The spirit world. It's everywhere. We're in the middle of it, right now. We're swimming through it. We breathe it when we meditate. We eat it with our omelettes. We step on it when we walk to our cars.

The first thing every hopeful spirit worker wants? "How do I do it, how do I connect?"

The very second thing? "Sweet Jesus, how do I turn this off?"

There is no difference between being able to see spirits and being able to see the spirit world. There is no difference in talking to a spirit and talking to a spell.

It all starts to dissolve - all the lines between dead and alive, sentient and merely present, within and without. You break down one or two barriers and suddenly you're scrambling back onto dry land, searching for lines in the sand on your hands and knees.

So you see - skepticism is totally vital. There's hardly a better way to survive the process than to look these experiences dead in the eye and say, "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

But you've got to be uncertain about quite a lot of it before you can be certain about any of it, and if you're anything like me those islands of certainty will be few and far-between.

I do not mean you're lucky to have your hard skepticism because the things out there are evil, or scary, or anything like that.

I find most of them to be joyous, friendly, beautiful - nice stuff like that.

I just mean that it's A Lot.

And it's everywhere.

And once you learn how to tap into it, the real skill is turning it off.

And once you've learned to dwell in it, the first challenge is finding your own little island - things that you can experience which you are no longer skeptical about, but become sure of.

Well, that's a bit misleading. It's never things you become sure about. It's yourself. The island is what you feel you can accurately discern and come to strong educated guesses about which pan out correctly a majority of the time.

Maybe your ostensible spirit man could help you with that - if he makes the cut.

All those exercises, you know - this or that meditation, this or that visualization exercise - they're really more for getting to know yourself, more like platforms to launch yourself off of. Convenient runways to barrel down.

I suppose it doesn't matter how nice the runway is when you always get to the end and say, "no, this isn't working - this isn't real; I can't believe it's real." That's the drawbridge keeping you in your nice, safe castle.

But maybe I'm being too hard about the hard skepticism thing. I mean, if you're operating under the notion that there is some way knowing your thoughts translates into having a conversation, I can see where the disconnect comes from.

The manual release switch for the drawbridge exists elsewhere. It is not experiencing your castle which is your problem - it is letting the rest of the world in.

So invite yourself to experience.

Then turn around and give yourself a good, long look in the eye, take yourself gently by the shoulders, and say with love: "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

Discernment comes with experience. Telling thought from spirit comes with experience. We make mistakes. We make foolish mistakes. We make mistakes we will laugh about and we make mistakes that make our toes curl in rank shame.

Experience many things. Are you just sitting and meditating? Go talk to a tree. Build a shrine for your house spirits and talk to them. Talk to a god. Talk to an ancestor. Go out in the world and look at the spirits inside of people. Look at the spirits of highway intersections and old buildings. Look for the spirits inside your food, inside of old antiques, and inside of mass-produced garbage.

Look for spirits in corners and in the backs of dusty shelves. Look inside of churches and used car lots. Let uncertainty be your constant companion.

Give yourself permission.

Learn to turn it off again.

[siffrin-enthusiast]

angry system and radqueer/“transdisabled” vent here, interactions okay except for radqueers. make your own post and keep it far away from real disabled people. tws for mentions of death, trauma, and hospitals.

this is not syscourse. this is my experience as a traumagenic system. this is not a commentary on anyone else except for radqueers.

i truly despise how sometimes DID is seen as a “quirky” or “fun” disorder where you get your favorite characters as imaginary friends. do you know why i split one of my silly fictional characters? for reasons i won’t disclose because i know basic internet safety, i almost died as a child. i came very, very close to dying. i was in the hospital for months and all i had to keep me from thinking that god, i nearly died was a fictional character. as much as i post about loving my system (which i really do! they saved me!) it is undoubtedly the worst thing that has ever happened to us. i would never wish this upon anyone. if i could be a singlet, if i could be whole, i would. everyone in this brain would make the same decision.

i make light of it because for the i’m going to be stuck here with living, breathing reminders of my worst traumas and if i don’t joke about it, i’m going to lose it. i only remember my early life through flashbacks. most days are a blur, weeks and months slipping by in a few blinks. i’m barely remembering to go to my college classes, and when i manage to get there (on time, too!), i don’t remember the lectures anyway. i might have to drop out until my therapist and i can figure out something to stop my body from thinking i’m going to be hurt again every time i walk into a classroom. i’m about to lose it.

i’m too tired for “syscourse”. i really am. but while we’re here, radqueer “build a headmate!!” things? you’re fucking sick. do you know that? you’re sick in the head. log off and go to a real mental health professional. “transDID” is sick. it wasn’t enough to fake it? you had to make a mockery of us, too? are you happy, loudly proclaiming that you’re roleplaying having a horrible mental illness? aren’t you ashamed? (i know they’re not. that would require them to care about anyone besides themselves.) there’s a reason none of the “transdisabled” people go to therapy, and it’s because they know they’d be rightfully diagnosed with factitious disorder. i sincerely hope you all find therapists who can provide you with what you actually need, because i promise it’s not roleplaying mental disorders on tumblr. in the meantime, i’m blocking and moving on. i’ve cried enough tears over my disorder and i know i’ll cry more of them. i’m not letting you add to my suffering.

DID/OSDD isn’t a joke or a game. it’s the result of repeated, continuous childhood trauma that the brain has no choice but to break itself in pieces to hide the trauma from itself. it ruined my life. it still ruins my life. it’s taken years in therapy to get to the point of knowing why i’m so dysfunctional, and it’ll take many years more to start becoming more functional. i make light of it here because this is my escape, for a moment, where i can be a normal, happy person instead of a traumatized shell of an adult who is really still the scared kid that wasn’t supposed to make it this long. i don’t have “friends” in my head. i have fragments of my psyche clinging to whatever takes me away from the flashbacks. do you understand?

[lifemod17]

(Obligatory I Should Not be up rn)

But wanted to include almost all of them but settled for the chunk I could copy and paste in one chunk 😘

🥰 - I love your blog

😊 - I'm so glad I follow you

🤭 - You make me laugh

😇 - You're one of the kindest people on this site

🥺 - I'd really like to be friends

🤩 - I admire you

😎 - You're one of the cool kids

😴 - You should sleep more

🌞 - You brighten up the dash

🧸 - Soft vibes

🤠 - Yeehaw vibes

💪 - Don't Fuck With Me vibes

🧠 - You're so big brained

(its okay, you're totally asleep right now yup absolutely)

🥰 - I love your blog i'm glad you like it here even if it is undeniably messy haha

😊 - I'm so glad I follow you isn't it SO funny that I'M so glad i follow YOU cuz now we're very glad mutuals?!!

🤭 - You make me laugh i'm not entirely sure what i did to earn this because i often doubt my funny-ness but okay!!

😇 - You're one of the kindest people on this site i don't have much to offer except save for kindness 💛

🥺 - I'd really like to be friends DONE! consider us friends!! please accept this imaginary virtual friendship bracelet

🤩 - I admire you me?? awww shucks!!! *blushing, tucking my hair behind my ear*

😎 - You're one of the cool kids yall heard it here first SHATTERS THINKS I'M COOL 😎

😴 - You should sleep more ... hey now. why you gotta do me like this. (you're right i really should. apparently it's "not normal" to be running on 5hrs of sleep daily")

🌞 - You brighten up the dash i am quite literally brightening up dashboards with sunset posts this is true!!!

🧸 - Soft vibes i'm literally just a lil guy 🥺

🤠 - Yeehaw vibes ooouuu this is interesting! i wonder why? (is it because i listen to Noah Kahan? haha)

💪 - Don't Fuck With Me vibes ALSO CORRECT. i am loyal to a fault / will do anything for those who are important to me / hates conflicts. BUT i can also have the nastiest attitude if you do me wrong one too many times

🧠 - You're so big brained another one for the "really??" (positive) hey i'll take the dub haha

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