#except live with the fact that apparently the worst thing i could possibly do is just small potatos!
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#not really whatever#but theres litwrally nothing i can say or do#except live with the fact that apparently the worst thing i could possibly do is just small potatos!#because i suck mwah god bless and iiiii cant healthily express emotions!! wow 🤩#fuck me dude i mean i could move to like alaska or like#somewhere#i could just leave#but over these small potatoes?#id be a coward#unfortunately i have to face#all of this#‘where donyou get the authority and how dare you’ and all that#ive been feeling my oats and being a dick head!#god bless i am a terrible person and cetera 😍#and i love to be the victim and feel bad for myself because otherwise !!!#uh oh!! because i simply dont want to know that i have hurt someone and done some thing wrong#god bless i love it when my estimation falls in the eyes of others#i love doing things wrong and letting my emotions and my anger and my ego get the better of me#i love hurting my friends!!#awesomesauce#i cant even wish for death because thats a cowards way out#and of course i am not a coward and have never behaved with cowardice once in my life 😎
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About sg prowl... ough I love the fact that he seems to have he's own weird claimed territory. He runs the place like the worst kind of mafia, forcing others who stay there to pay him protection money, or he makes sure they pay in other ways.
I love the idea of territorial prowl so much tho auuughhhh the moment you step into his turf he will sniff you out. How dare you intrude on his land. He will bite first and ask questions later. But when he does ask, you better have a good reason for being there
Sg jazz is primes bodyguard iirc? Or is he something else in the idw comics? Either way though, being a bodyguard makes him another kind of territorial. He doesn't let anyone near his charge and also doesn't let anyone near him. Any servos within reach of him or Prime are free game. He will bite.
He and Prowl would fight if they met. They both cross each other's lines in terms of what they are protective and territorial about. To Prowl there's a wild animal in his backyard. To Jazz someone has the audacity to even look at him.
They tear into each other and rip each other apart- but, later, once they come to some kind of mutual understanding, once they form a treaty of sorts, knowing they can both protect and have what they want at the same time, they start to work together.
Jazz can guard Prowl whilst Prowl watches his territory. Sometimes he goes out to do the dirty work for Prowl. They're always a hair away from fighting each other again, but they live with it. It works. And it's kind of exciting.
They both bite
Honestly I'm down for biting at every opportunity
ENEMIES/RIVALS TO LOVERS MY BELOVED BELOVED
Except it's evil enemies to evil lovers
Love that they have a written treaty
Apparently, his brother Ricochet is also one of Optimus's bodyguards, which makes me think about Ricochet taking one look at these two and going "how could I Not ship it??"
Prowl doesn't let many mecha in on his territory, but Jazz... Jazz he does.
Jazz does not take kindly to autobot traitors, but Prowl... Prowl he does.
I need them to kiss, the kind of kiss that muffles an insult or an argument. The kind of kiss that's like "shut the fuck up, loser~"
oughhhhh I'm thinking about them after Optimus dies too because that's a thing that happens in one or so of the shattered glass comic series. Because, after Optimus, Goldbug, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus die... Prowl remains. And his control on Cybertron probably spreads. And, based on what I'm seeing, Jazz possibly survived too.
Evil jazzprowl confirmed /jk
#maccadam#transformers#evil evil enemies to lovers#:) i love it#sg jazz#sg prowl#sg ricochet#sg optimus prime#sg ultra Magnus#sg Rodimus#sg goldbug#jazzprowl#love is in the air and it smells like spilled energon
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(AU/OC) AITA for killing my daughter’s girlfriend?
I (55M physically, 107M immortally) am a vampire. I was turned a few years before my daughter (25F physically, 47F immortally) was born, so she was born a vampire. I raised my daughter as a single dad and it was just her and me, and I wouldn’t ask for it to be any other way. I love my daughter, she’s my world.
This all started a few months ago. My daughter found out that I drink human blood and she got upset for some reason, even after I explained that drinking animal blood makes us weaker. I have to be as strong as possible to protect her if danger comes. However, she didn’t seem to understand. She called me a murderer and said she didn’t want to see me again, so she moved out and cut off contact with me. I have missed her every second of every day since then.
Long story short, I end up meeting this human, we’ll call her S (21F) and I find out that she’s dating my daughter. I end up finding out where my daughter is currently living through her (the details aren’t important). I obviously hate everything about this. My daughter isn’t talking to me and now she has a girlfriend? It’s like S was trying to steal my daughter away from me or something. And not to mention, S is annoying as hell.
I’d like to clarify that I am not homophobic and this has nothing to do with my daughter being gay. My own partner is non-binary. I have always loved my lesbian daughter. I don’t care that she’s dating a girl, I just hate S. And my hatred for S has nothing to do with her being gay.
Anyways, me and my partner (we weren’t dating at the time this happened but they’re my current partner) were out hunting one day and right after we make the kill, we discover that S was hiding in the trees and had seen it! I had already hated S, but the fact that she’s seen me technically commit a crime was even worse. So I attempted to kill her. This bitch takes out a wooden stake and stabs me in the stomach! It turns out that she’s a VAMPIRE HUNTER! Not a very good one, clearly, since she didn’t kill me and she has no idea her girlfriend is a vampire, but whatever.
So obviously I wanted to warn my daughter that her girlfriend is a vampire hunter. But my daughter took S’s side! Apparently she already knew that S is a hunter and was just… fine with it?! My daughter acts like she can change S or something! She seemed CONVINCED that S wouldn’t hurt her, that S would go against her training for her.
Obviously, my daughter is insane. This naivety could cost my daughter her life. So I took matters into my own hands. I killed S to protect my daughter, so that my daughter would be safe. I didn’t want her near a hunter.
My daughter was upset and said she hated me. Whatever. She can hate me as long as she’s safe. I love her enough to keep her safe no matter what has to be done.
A few weeks later, my daughter comes to me asking for help training a fledgling vampire, and I realize that she turned S into a vampire instead of just letting her die. I was pissed, clearly. Being turned was one of the worst things to happen to me and I would never wish it on someone else, even with as much as I hate S. And S comes from a whole family of vampire hunters who she can’t go back to now that she’s a vampire.
Despite this, I did try to help S learn and control her new vampire abilities, but it didn’t work because S is terrified of me and wouldn’t stop cowering in fear 🙄 and she bit me when I tried to pick her up in bat form! My daughter fired me from the teaching position and my partner started helping instead.
Now my partner and S are friends, and my daughter is still defending S, and everybody seems to love S except for me. S is terrified of me and sees me as some horrific monster. And S is the reason why my daughter won’t come back home! I don’t see why I have to like S.
I recently switched to drinking animal blood so that my daughter will talk to me again, but my daughter and my partner keep trying to make me and S get along, and S still hates me for killing her.
So, AITA?
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V curious about babysitter Steve Adams & Steve Wayne!
Hello! I’ve brought those up here and here respectively, but I’d love to talk more about them!
For Babysitter Steve Addams, Steve has been surrounded by kids for A WHILE. This is post s4, and he’s hanging with all the kids (including Holly and some Wheeler cousins and school friends) and he’s just trying to get them all home safely. Except he may have accidentally shoved some kids in his car who weren’t part of the group. Enter: The Addams Family *snap snap*
The Addams in my story aren’t based on any particular version of them, of course, but kind of a mixture of the different adaptations to make them fit more with Stranger Things and my story lol.
Clearing his throat, Steve looked between the two of them before letting out a small groan. Just great. He sat back in his seat and gripped his steering wheel tightly. “Right. Okay, how about I just take you two back to your guardians, hm? And hopefully they don’t call the cops on me,” he added in a slight mutter. If he got arrested for kidnapping, the others would never let him live it down.
“Are you sure you don’t want to kidnap us?” the boy, Pugsley, apparently, asked with a small wheedle to his tone.
“I’m sure,” Steve dryly replied back. “Were your guardians at the festival with you? Should I take you back there?”
“No, we were alone,” the girl replied. “It’s much more dangerous that way.”
Steve, thinking about the fact that he had apparently kidnapped them, as well as the general craziness of the town, couldn’t help but agree. He let out a heavy sigh, barely resisting the urge to slam his head back into his steering wheel. How did this always happen to him?
“Right. Okay. So, how about I take you home then? Where do you live?”
Both kids have a forlorn sigh, as though being delivered safely home was the worst thing to happen, but after a stern look at them they relented and soon Steve was following their directions to an address just outside of town.
And then we have Steve Wayne, which is just a short little thing where Steve has been hanging around with Eddie and has developed a crush on him. Also post s4. Wayne, however, doesn’t realize that Steve is crushing on Eddie, thinks only Eddie is crushing on Steve. So when Wayne warns off Steve from hurting Eddie, Steve thinks Wayne knows about his crush on Eddie and disapproves.
Steve was really getting tired of having to prove that he wasn’t the same meathead jock he’d been in high school. He hadn’t even been one of the bullies! He’d just…been friends with them. And he _had_ made his apologies about not doing better at reining Tommy in and being too full of himself. Too inconsiderate of others.
All affected parties forgave him, and even Nancy and Jonathan had apologized as well for their past actions which hadn’t taken Steve’s feelings into account either. It takes three to tango, or whatever. They were all cool now.
And Eddie…
Christ, and Eddie.
Eddie had opened Steve’s eyes up in a way he had never imagined possible. He remembered driving to the Buckley house in the middle of the night and almost getting an instrument case in his face for his troubles when he knocked on Robin’s window and scared the crap out of her.
It was no bathroom confessional, but it would do.
He didn’t tell her what or rather who had made him have “The Awakening” as she called it, just that he came to the sudden realization that…he’s a little bit gay, it turns out.
Or bisexual, rather, but he hadn’t known that was something someone could do until Robin showed him some zines she’d picked up when the school band had made a trip into Indy a ways back. In any case, she had been a bit too distracted realizing her best friend and soulmate was also like her that she never brought up what had made him fully realize he was queer.
She would never let him live it down if she knew it was Eddie Munson that had turned his worldview on its axis. Nor was he ready for her revenge in badgering him to tell Eddie.
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Novel Wen Ziduan Has Issues
As you might know if you have seen anything I have posted here or written lately or talked about in the past month or so, I like Third Prince, or Wen Ziduan, from Love Like the Galaxy quite a lot.
What you might not know is that even though I liked him before I read the book, based on the drama alone, I like him even more that I read the book.
Let me be clear: novel Ziduan is a disaster.
For one thing, Yuan Shanjian's tendency to neg Shaoshang at every possible opportunity? That was Ziduan in the book. YSJ is a lot less directly offensive in his behavior toward Shaoshang, which makes him a lot more likable in the book. They still argue a lot, but he doesn't go out of his way to try to make her feel bad about herself. Meanwhlie, Ziduan only goes through one scene where he outright starts negging Shaoshang in the drama—and to be fair, this is episode 49 and he was having a really bad day that day, after having had a terrible day the day before as well—and she tells him off pretty well for it. He has a reason to talk to her that day, but otherwise he seems to mostly ignore her, or roll with whatever else is going on in the scene. Ziduan in the drama comes off as a foil of sorts to Shaoshang. They both care deeply for Huo Buyi, but while Ziduan has power in theory, he can do nothing to help Huo Buyi and is losing his mind (he behaves more erratically, more angrily and snappishly in that episode than we ever see him before or after) after the revenge. Shaoshang might not have power, but she has the keys to exonerating Huo Buyi, and she is exceedingly quiet and calm as she makes her case—both to Ziduan for her right to personhood, and to the court for Huo Buyi. By the end of this scene, we see Shaoshang share a warning with Ziduan, who bows to her and promises to bring Zisheng back, and make him apologize to her.
This is a far cry from the behavior of novel Ziduan, who takes every possible opportunity to point out how inferior Shaoshang is, especially relative to Zisheng.
He does eventually come to terms with the fact that Shaoshang and Zisheng are going to be together, in his own way... But not before being absolutely delighted to betroth Shaoshang to Yuan Shanjian, only to be deeply upset when Zisheng returns and wants her back. There's a whole scene where he demands to know why nobody told him that he would want her back, and rants about how poor of a match Shaoshang is for Zisheng, who deserves the best...even though he is just as dumb as she is, he admits toward the end.
I cannot articulate enough how much novel Ziduan comes across like a comphet gay boy trying to justify why he's mad that his best friend is dating someone by making it the girl's fault. Somehow.
I ship OT3 in the world of the drama, but I don't see how that could work in the novel world unless ZIduan does one hell of a lot of soulsearching.
The other day, I found the novel extras, and there was one for Ziduan, and OH BOY, I did not think this shit could get even funnier.
First off, this man is a misogynistic mess from the moment we get into his head. He says there are two kinds of women: virtuous and unvirtuous. And then he proceeds to list all the women in his life as various shades of unvirtuous. Empress Xuan? Very unvirtuous. His mother, Consort Yue? Extremely unvirtuous. His aunts and sisters? Never heard of the word virtue in their lives—except Second Sister, she's ok. (I have to assume this assessment is pre-time skip, because post time-skip Second Princess had apparently become less ladylike or something.) Xiao Yuanyi is also ok. Cheng Shaoshang is just the absolute worst.
So he sort of...has to approve of their betrothal (again) because it's what will make Huo Buyi happy and as we know, Ziduan really just wants Huo Buyi to be happy. (Although in this universe it's buried underneath so much negative vibes directed at Shaoshang that it can be easy to forget that.)
Shaoshang comes to talk to him, and she uses flattery over his dedication to justice over family (a love language between all 3 of them, I swear) to undercut his usual pattern of berating her. It works, until she's about to leave.
And then this happens:
The prince was very moved, and his tone could not help softening: "I am not afraid of being criticized by others, but only hope that the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, free from natural disasters and man-made disasters, so I will live up to the trust of the ancestors."
Originally, he wanted to scold the girl, but at this moment, the crown prince could not swear much, so he simply waved his hand: "Forget it, you can go back, take a good rest, and serve Zisheng carefully after marriage. Sigh, Over the years, Zisheng has really suffered a lot, you, you should treat him better."
Shaoshang agreed sincerely, and hurried out of the door. When she reached the courtyard, the prince suddenly called her to stop. Shaoshang looked back in a daze, and saw the prince raised his right hand, and then her shoulder hurt slightly, and when she looked down, it turned out to be a small stone. She was tongue-tied, and looked at the prince in disbelief—he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he actually threw stones at herself! The majestic crown prince actually threw stones at her!
The prince's brows and eyes are firm and resolute, and the perennial solemnity is swept away, as if he is ten years younger and suddenly returned to his naughty and troubled boyhood. He laughed heartily: "Okay, let's settle the matter now, you can go back and happily prepare for marriage!"
Shaoshang stamped her feet angrily, turned her head and left.
HE THREW A ROCK AT HER.
HE THREW A ROCK AT HER AND WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT.
And then after this scene, Ziduan's immediately thinking to himself about how he has to double their wedding gifts and hope they have a daughter he can marry to a son of his own.
THE AMOUNT OF DISASTER GAY ENERGY HERE IS STAGGERING.
Oh, about his wife--he does have a concubine. A cousin of his, selected by his uncle. He agreed to marry her because his uncle said so, and then the moment he stopped and thought about it, he realized how unvirtuous his wife is. She actually wants him to LIKE her, the gall of her!
Anyway, this man is a complete trainwreck and I adore it.
Mostly because the drama version exists as essentially a fix-it.
Speaking of which, who was it who decided to take Ziduan's "you-stole-the-man-I-am-not-aware-I'm-in-love-with-and-I'm-mad-about-it" energy and dropped it onto Yuan Shanjian, of all people? He's actually supposed to like Shaoshang... That might be the strangest adaptation decision, imo 😂😂😂
#love like the galaxy#third prince#wen ziduan#disaster gay#is this another meta#idk#im supposed to be sleeping btw#yes I love this misguided idiot#i want to put him in therapy
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Hey, can you re-imagine a wholy genderbent Deathnote, is too cursed?
Okay, it is SO funny that you mention this because I was talking to my Long-Distance Best Friend the other day about the fact that there is, apparently, (or at least was, at some point before the strike?) a plan to make a live-action TV series adaptation of this for Netflix. Which is...a whole other thing I don't want to get into, but ANYWAY.
The POINT is that we were talking about what would have to happen to make me have some modicum of hope that this might not be the worst idea ever (remember what happened the LAST time we did live-action Netflix DN, we got the 2017 movie no one needs to live through that again). And what I ultimately came up with was:
Every single character, except for Light and Raye, is now a woman. (Obviously this isn't wholly genderbent, but. It's close enough to this ask that I found it to still be a humorous coincidence.) I think in the hands of the right writer, it could be an interesting examination of misogyny and how baked-in that concept is to the justice system. (And I think it would lend extra context to the fact that Light was able to keep operating for so long. If the people opposing him are all women in a historically male-dominated field, they'd all have to contend with a type of professional and societal discrimination that he'll never have to, thus giving him an advantage. Also L would be a Weird Girl™, which would absolutely raise some interesting questions in terms of the scope of this character's influence and their societal perception. Also femslash Near/Mello would be canonically possible which is OBVIOUSLY the most important factor to take into consideration.)
Soichiro's difficulty in believing Light's guilt would gain an extra dimension if this character were also grappling with the societal expectations of motherhood (especially while being in a position of authority in a """masculine""" career). And Matsuda...I just think some woman, any woman, should get to shoot Light repeatedly in a fit of rage. (Also something-something calling women in the workplace idiots/making them the butt of the joke/consistently overlooking them, I think you could do something there.) I think this theoretical concept I spent way too much time thinking about really only works if, even though the major and supporting characters are women, it's still made clear that they work in an environment overwhelmingly occupied by men.
As for a FULLY genderbent story...Light as a female character is, to me, indeed an idea too cursed. I will not elaborate.
And I don't think the Shinigami experience the concept of gender in the way that we do, so tbh I'm not really sure a whole lot would change in that regard. But I do think a female Ryuk would be very funny.
Naomi being a man I think would be...not cursed, I just don't particularly enjoy it. But mainly that's because I am A Gay™, and I love thinking about women who are tough enough to have the word "massacre" as part of their nickname. :)
Misa being reimagined as a guy could be really interesting, though, given how a) the entertainment industry treats women differently from how it treats men, and b) the world at large generally expects men to react differently to trauma than women do. (Although I still very much prefer the version of Misa that serves as a deconstruction of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl). And I'd be curious to see what the viewer/reader response would be if this character were a man. (Mainly because, historically, audiences are a lot more positively receptive to extreme, unhealthy displays of devotion when they come from a male character than when they come from a female character, but this answer is already probably too long, so we don't have to talk about that.)
(Best Friend ALSO mentioned the idea of Rina Sawayama playing L, and I am now gay on a level I previously didn't ever think was possible, but we don't have to talk about that either.)
Uhhhh....TLDR, full-genderbent DN kind of cursed, but there are some really interesting ideas you could examine. (The one veto I'm gonna make is that I do not think this story works if Light is a girl, but-you guessed it-we really don't have to talk about that.)
Also, stan the stage musical for serotonin and clear skin!
#THANK YOU FOR THE ENRICHMENT#MY GOD I MISSED ASKS I'M SO GLAD I TURNED THE ANONYMOUS FUNCTION BACK ON#I...don't think I'm gonna put this in the tag#I'm not sure it belongs there mainly because I do not know if this makes ANY sense#you're telling me a god of death made this note?#(I guess that's the tag I'll use for when I talk about this property but don't want it to show up in the tag?)#enjoy this peek into what goes on in my brain when I am not on this website#multi t(ASK)ing
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K&J x MMSS 3: Kane & Valen Part 4
Chapter 4 of the third crossover with @whumpsday!
Let's see how the predicament is going so far shall we 😐
PS Here's a link to listen to "Fly Me to the Moon" because 🥺
K&J masterlist
MMSS masterlist
K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist
SERIES IS 18+ ONLY.
Content warnings: Burns, torture, restraint, references to off-screen noncon, misgendering of a trans character, discussion of hypothetical pregnancy
To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday
"You know, I was thinking." Kane says, looking over at Valen. He's not shy about it anymore, the toplessness having become normal after weeks spent together. "With my old hunters, I was worried it would be forever, my whole life. There were always members coming and going, and lots of different hunters hurting me. They could all just keep replacing each other even after the first ones die, for hundreds of years. But it's different here. Here, the main one hurting us is Nick. Some of the hunters don't even like us being hurt, I heard them. Humans don't live very long, so after Nick dies, maybe things will get better. The really bad things would only be for a few decades." He's excited by the concept. A few decades, not 14 centuries. There's an end, and it's closer than he thought it'd be.
Valen does not find this nearly as comforting as Kane does, or probably intends it to be for Valen. He hasn't spent the months and years agonizing over the possibility that this could last forever. He is now though, and when Kane says this aloud as though it's supposed to be comforting, he bursts into uncontrollable sobs.
Kane's excitement falls away at Valen's apparent despair. He doesn't know how long Valen has been in captivity, but it's becoming increasingly clearer through little hints that it's not nearly as long as he has.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says hurriedly. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I thought it was good. I'm sorry. Shh sh sh, it's..." It's not okay. Nothing is okay. "Nothing bad's happening right now. We're okay for right now. I bet he won't even find anyone to come down with him today, and you'll get to skip the hurting. That would be nice, right?" There are so few good things about being here that it's the only thing he can think of to try to comfort Valen.
It fills Valen with such despair that that is truly the best thing Kane can think of to comfort him with. It's the only comfort he has here, in Hell. Somehow Kane manages to find a bright side, when it comes to trying to make Valen feel better. That's a comfort in and of itself. Valen only knew him in passing, from their previous lives, but he'd seemed like such a spoiled brat.
This Kane is so very different, and his presence has started to bring Valen comfort in the way soldiers dying together in trenches cling to each other, heedless of how poorly they may have gotten along in life
Kane wants to do more. He wishes he had anything to offer Valen, but he knows they're both trapped in the same dismal situation. He has as little as she does. Except, he supposes, his voice.
"...Do you want me to sing you a song?" he asks hesitantly.
Valen nods. That might be nice.
Kane softly sings Fly Me to the Moon to his companion. He hasn't sung in quite a while, the activity only making him bitter ever since his childhood dreams of becoming a musician were destroyed by the fact that he's supposed to stay out of the spotlight and not embarrass his family. But that hardly matters anymore. He’s hummed to himself in his cell to try and calm down, but not gotten all the way to singing.
It's nice, to be able to share an experience with Valen that doesn't involve pain or violation.
"Awwww," says a voice from the stairs, and a hunter comes down. There are exactly two pairs of hunters who are still willing to help Nick with his work, and this is one of those four: Cyril, in Valen's opinion the second worst behind Nick himself. Cryil mockingly gets starry-eyed. "He's singing a song to his girlfriend."
Nick comes down behind him, stone-faced. "Don't be ridiculous, Cyril. I'm sure these vampires have no interest in breeding with each other." This with a sinister smiling tugging at his lips, that only Kane can see from this position.
"Are you sure?" says Cyril. "You've got one of each. You could start a breeding program."
"I'm quite sure." Nick comes down to face Kane, taking out his notebook, tapping the pencil. "#2, please estimate for me what volume of blood you typically consumed in the past on a daily basis that kept you in optimal health."
Kane is shocked by how these humans are able to imbue him with new horror even when he'd thought he'd seen the lowest they could possibly go. A breeding program. The thought of a baby being here makes his heart twist with unimaginable horror. They wouldn't, they couldn't, right? Surely there had to be at least that limit? Surely they wouldn't torture an innocent child?
For a horrible moment, he imagines a baby, his baby, being born here. Starved and hurt and unprotected, at the mercy of the hunters. The only thing keeping him from immediately breaking down is that the chances of vampire pregnancy are so low, and that the two of them are in such poor health they probably wouldn’t be able to successfully conceive anyway. He hopes.
He snaps back to reality when Nick mentions blood. He can't think about a baby that doesn't exist right now. He has to focus on his punishment. "Um, about a quarter-cup each day, sir."
"A quarter cup? I expected it to be way more," says Cyril. "The fuck you need a whole ass person all to yourself if that's all you need?"
Nick makes a note of this. "Excellent, it shouldn't be too hard to procure that," he says coolly.
"That's, that's about how much blood a human generates each day, sir," Kane explains. He stops there, figuring the humans can put together the pieces about how if a vampire needed more they would need more than one human, on their own. He knows this is a touchy subject, and wants to say as little about it as possible.
And then it hits him. His eyes widen. "You're going to feed us?" he asks, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. He glances at Valen, and back to the hunters.
"We're going to feed you. #1 is the control. I'll arrange to have the blood delivered tomorrow, but for today we need to get a baseline measurement before the feeding starts."
"Oh," he says, soft and sad. He wants to argue that Valen should be fed as well, but... he knows it's selfish, but he's worried Nick will decide to feed neither of them if he protests. Oh, it's not fair? Then I'll just feed neither of you, how's that for fair. That's what many of his old hunters would have said.
But... he's going to be fed. It only makes him feel more selfish, but he's beyond excited. His fingers twitch with anticipation, and he begins to salivate at the mere thought. "What baseline, sir?"
"The director said it should be safe enough to feed a vampire without persuasion, so that gives me some options to test how various states of being fed affect healing rate. I have no data on how quickly a vampire will recover once fed. I'll be testing how feeding affects the rate at which you recover from serious injuries. We'll just be using sunburns, since that's the fastest way to inflict severe injury over the whole body in a measurable way. How long would you estimate it usually takes to completely recover from being in the sun for half an hour in your current state?"
Kane sobs. Of course, nothing could be truly good. And it's going to be even worse for Valen, if he's interpreting Nick's plan correctly. The control. They're going to put her in the sun, and she won't even get fed after.
"Does, does it h-have to be the sun, sir?" he asks pleadingly. "Wouldn't common hunting weapons be more... useful? For, for the data? Since it's for hunting, sir?"
"We'll get to that later. For now we need something more easily measurable."
Cyril gives a toothy grin. "And that's more fun anyway."
"Now please answer the question, #2."
Terrified tears spill over from Kane's eyes. "A f-few weeks, sir. I don't know exactly. I couldn't keep track of time there."
Nick clicks his pen a few times. "Fair enough, self-reported measurements are untrustworthy anyway. That's what the control is for. Now let's go upstairs."
Cyril helps Nick open the coffin, dragging Valen out and up the stairs. Nick takes Kane by the collar and leads him up as well.
"I won't be able t-to feed, or answer questions, if, if, my face-" Kane is having trouble speaking coherently amid the terror. The sun is the worst. Weeks and weeks of awful, horrible pain, and he won't even be able to see or speak for days. "Please not my face- our faces, sirs, please please please!"
He wonders if Valen has ever been in the sun before.
"Leave the experimental design to me," Nick says dryly. "You don't need to worry about those details."
Kane gets a nasty surprise when he comes upstairs: The board his previous captors had used is here, the very same one judging by the exact pattern of dents and bloodstains on it. A second one has been fashioned together, its metal surface still shiny and new. The restraints at the four corners have been covered to dull the bare silver.
He bawls, leaning away, trying to go back down the stairs. But he's too weak, and Nick's grip on his collar holds him tight. "NO NO NO NO NO!" he cries, the situation all too real for him. "PLEASE NOT THE SUN, PLEASE PLEASE NOT AGAIN, PLEASE HAVE MERCY!"
Unfortunately for Kane, there aren't any sympathetic hunters in the compound today. Valen is already sobbing as well -- he's felt the sun's touch before, but not all over his body, and he can imagine how the two devices on the ground are going to be used. Cyril drags Valen over to the new board, lying him facedown and pinning his wrists and ankles into the restraints.
Nick drags Kane by the collar and shoves him facedown onto the board, snapping the restraints closed. "There is no mercy, or lack of mercy here, #2. There is only experimental protocol."
Nick retrieves an additional muzzle. Kane can see this one is the same kind that Valen is using, which will prevent him from opening his mouth too wide, or speaking. "I've been told hearing the screaming is distressing, so we'll have both of them matching in restraints for this one."
Nick slips the muzzle over Kane's face, slipping the bit into his mouth, leaving him spread open, vulnerable, and unable to continue begging
They are facedown, and Valen turns his head to look at Kane. They are both muzzled and helpless, about to be dragged out into the sun. Their equally tear-stained eyes meet.
Valen has always been quick to love, people and things and ideas. He loves Kane, in that moment, the man who'd just been singing to him in a futile attempt to make him feel better. He loves Kane, the only one here with him, truly with him in this moment. His face goes slack with resignation, body numb and unable to process the anticipation of the horror, just staring at Kane with soft eyes filled with love
At least I can hide my face. And it's only half an hour, not all day. It's still better. Kane tries to tell himself, but it does little to soothe his dread.
As Valen stares into his eyes, he's filled with an overwhelming urge to protect her, but there's nothing he can do. He's just as helpless as she is.
He balls his hands into fists, tucking his thumbs inside, and glances from his hands back to Valen. Your fingers will get less burned this way. It's the only tip he can give.
Valen follows his lead and curls his fingers in. How many times have you endured this horror, he thinks, that you know the best way to get through it.
The two of them are dragged outside and into the sun, the blazing rays free to touch their exposed backs and legs
A scream tears from Kane's throat, severely muffled by the bit. As many times as he's done this, it never gets easier. The pain is as horrible as it is instant, only increasing with every passing second as his skin melts and then chars like a marshmallow tossed into a campfire. His neck, his arms, his back, his legs, the sensitive insides of his knees, the soles of his feet. None of it is spared.
In his desperation to escape the pain, he resorts to counting out the seconds, knowing he only has to count out 30 minutes. He's counted hours upon hours before.
Valen has never experienced anything this all-consumingly painful before. It rips at his very DNA. He thought nothing could surprise him anymore, but it's so much worse than even when he'd had limbs stuck in the sun before
It's everywhere. He understands instantly why Kane had so fearfully pleaded to at least have his face spared.
Being restrained and unable to even squirm around to try and protect himself makes it so much worse. He can't think. In that moment, he's not a person, he's an animal, with no thoughts except the clawing instinct for self-preservation that has no outlet.
He can't keep track of time. It goes on forever and ever and ever. This truly is hell.
Finally, they're pulled back into the shade.
Kane breathes heavily through his nose. He tentatively opens his eyes, having had them squeezed shut the entire time. With horror, he looks at Valen. He's never seen himself just after the sun before, his eyelids are always fused shut. She's a horrific sight, and he knows that's what he looks like, too. He whines softly, an unintelligible plea for mercy.
Nick takes plenty of photos. Neither of them are unstrapped from the boards. Instead, they're dragged back down into the basement and left there.
"You're done for today," says Nick, turning the light off. "Doing anything else would interfere. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You should be excited," says Cyril. "You should be grateful. You get to feed tomorrow, because you're doing this."
They shut the door.
Kane just cries for a while. He's beyond excited for food, he'd honestly even call it worth it for blood, but it hurts so much.
And poor Valen. She had to go through this too, and she won't even be fed. He chews on the bit in his mouth. He usually talks to her once they're left alone, except for after he's forced to violate her. But he can't, now.
The exhaustion soon claims him.
-
They sit there for almost a full 24 hours, for consistency, and Cyril is with Nick again when he comes back down.
"Prepare yourself for feeding, #2," says Nick.
Cyril comes over and removes the muzzle from Kane.
"I'm prepared, sir!" Kane exclaims, turning his head painfully to the side. "I'm so prepared, please, please feed me, I need it, please!" It's practically all he's been thinking about the entire time he's laid there. His empty stomach audibly growls.
Kane can't see the preparations from where he is, but Nick kneels down beside him after a minute, holding a plastic cup with a lid. There's a straw leading down into the red liquid at the bottom, which he holds out so Kane can get it in his mouth.
As soon as Nick is near with the blood, Valen erupts into muffled howls and savage growling, eyes rolled back in his head, beast-like, hands scraping against the metal underneath his palms. He's never wanted anything this badly in his life. He would kill Kane, his one companion, if it meant he could have even a drop of the blood in front of him. He can’t care about anything else. There isn't room in his brain for anything but the smell and vision of the blood in front of him, dark, monstrous instincts activating his thirst.
Kane barely hears Valen. He takes the straw into his mouth, crying with relief as he drinks his first meal in years. It's so good, better than any blood he's had before, he's never experienced anything like this. The straw sucks in empty air as he finishes the blood in the cup, but there's still blood, he can smell it and he needs more. He NEEDS it.
"Thank you, sir! Thank you thank you thank you! Please, please, can I lick the straw and cup? Please, please, it's going to go to waste, please, I need it!" he begs.
Nick disassembles the cup and holds it out so Kane can lick it.
Kane laps up the blood from the inside of the cup, getting at every remnant he can reach until there's nothing left. There are a few drops still inside the straw that he can't manage to suck out, but he's drank a full meal, and even through the pain, it feels amazing. He's still hungry, a single meal is not enough to sate him in this state, but it's so much more than he would have hoped for. "Thank you sir, thank you so much, thank you."
Only then does he notice Valen, writhing in her restraints. His heart breaks for her. He wishes he could offer her something, but it's entirely out of his control.
"You have nothing to thank me for. It's just part of the protocol." The mask slips for a moment, because he's facing away from Cyril, only Kane can see his wicked grin, his interest no longer dispassionate and academic. "The next part of which is another session in the sun, so Cyril, help me carry them upstairs."
"What?" Kane squeaks. "But, b-but, we haven't even healed at all from yesterday, sir! I'll heal a little faster after the blood, but Va- #1, she, she can't take it, please."
"As I said, you don't need to worry about the experimental design."
"She can take it," hoots Cyril. "Unless it'll kill her, but it won't, right?" He lies down on the floor in front of Kane, propped up on his elbows, feet swinging above him, like a schoolgirl talking on the phone. "Awe you wuwwied about youw girlfwend?"
"Sh-she has a husband. It's not, it's not like that. But yes, sir, I'm worried about her." Kane gets teary thinking about the implications of Nick's latest experiment. They're going to do this over and over and over again, just like he promised.
Cyril makes a kissy face. "The mister doesn't have to know."
"Cyril," says Nick. "It's not appropriate to treat research specimens that way." The knowing, wry smile tugs at his lips again. "Now put the muzzle on and help me."
I've never even had a conversation with her, Kane wants to say. He does feel like he's gotten to know Valen a little in the past weeks, through meaningful expressions and yes-or-no questions, and he finds comfort in her presence. But really, he doesn't know anything about her.
He opens his mouth obediently as Cyril approaches with the muzzle, resigning himself to more torment. Begging won't work. At least he's fed, this time.
They drag them both upstairs and into the sun again. It's the same as before, half an agonizing hour. This time when they're done, they're both unhooked and carried downstairs, the hunters citing the difficulty of the board's weight as well as the fact that Valen being left alone outside the coffin is technically a violation of the rules even if she's otherwise strapped in.
After the photos are taken, Valen is dumped in the coffin--facedown, thankfully. Kane is locked in his usual position, and Cyril removes his muzzle this time, winking at him, pointing to Valen, quirking an eyebrow, making small, suggestive thrusts with his hips.
Kane goes red with shame, not that it's very visible when he's already splotchy from crying and half his body is burnt unrecognizably. Cyril doesn't even know they've already done it.
He collapses on the floor on his front and does not attempt to get up, his only comfort the warm, life-giving blood in his stomach. After he recovers from his crying fit, he gasps in a shuddering breath and says, "I hate science." After a pause, he adds, "Cyril is very immature." He looks blearily at Valen. "I'm sorry. I wish they wouldn't burn you. I wish you'd get blood too. Maybe Nick will feed you the next time he wants to test healing. I'm sure they could fit a straw in. Nick likes... replicating experiments, he called it."
Valen is trying very hard not to let his experience taint his love of science. He understands Kane's sentiment too well.
This is honestly the dumbest experiment Nick has concocted yet. There would be about a thousand easier ways to collect this data. Valen would have some words about whatever institution, or mentor, taught Nick experimental design.
"At least Nick is leaving us alone at night. I guess, I guess he'll do that until the experiment is over." The thought of Nick fucking him when his entire back half is burnt to a crisp makes him shudder. "My old hunters left me out for a week straight once, for trying to bite. No breaks. They put this thing in my mouth to hold it open too, and it was my front instead of my back. That was the worst punishment I ever got. At least it's only thirty minutes each day this time. Just, just have to try to remember the, the good things." He stammers over his words, knowing how flimsy they are.
Oh there it is, the how and why Kane always gives things a positive spin. Valen wonders if he does this in his own head silently, for his own benefit as a habit he developed with the old hunters, or if he's doing it entirely for Valen's benefit.
Valen truly cannot imagine how he would handle something so horrifying. Maybe it would turn him into a compliant mess like Kane. Maybe it would destroy whatever was left of him inside. Maybe nothing would really change at all.
Valen feels pity for Kane. Valen undoubtedly has the worse end in this particular situation, but Kane has clearly been through a lot worse than Valen has and for a lot longer. It makes him want to wrap Kane up protectively.
Maybe just because he wishes someone would do that for him.
***
K&J x MMSS crossover taglist:
@barebarb
@cc1010foxy
@emcscared-whumps
@melancholy-in-the-morning
@pigeonwhumps
@secretwhumplair
@some-thrilling-heroics
@t0rture-me
@thecyrulik
@thejinglingcourtjester
@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff
@whuarri
@whump-cravings
@whump-my-heart-away
@whumpycries
@wolfeyedwitch
@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question
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Ch. 3: Mistakes Never Forgotten
Pairing: Barry Allen x OFC // Fandom: The Flash
Story Masterlist ● Previous Stories: Rise Up • It Had To Be You ●Belén’s Masterlist
• Can also be found on Fanfic and Ao3 •
Taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @foxesandmagic
Dr. Nina Clarke hardly received any friendly visits while she was on the job, much less from Barry who was supposed to be at his own job right now. Yet, here he was, sitting across her in the hospital's cafeteria...detailing the story of how he royally messed up.
Nina was, shamefully, awed by the fact that changing a timeline was very possible. "You actually...did that…? You went back in time?" All this time they had only so far gone through worlds but then again, she had to remember the one moment where Barry traveled back in time to save his mother 2 years ago. Apparently, this time around he went through with it.
"Well, I've done it a couple of times but...just a day, the most had been a year...until…" Barry trailed off, letting her fit in the pieces.
"Until you went way back in time." She eagerly ate her grapes.
"But I reset everything! I put everything back to the way that it was before!" Barry exclaimed, obviously frustrated with his unsuccessful efforts. "Except some things weren't the same anymore. Not even a little bit."
"Oh, I bet they weren't," Nina shook her head. "What changed?"
Barry didn't know where to start. For one, Cisco wasn't speaking to him. Iris and Joe weren't speaking to each other. Not everything was bad but it was changed. He found that out when he learned that Axel, Belén's nephew, was already back from Italy. The only thing that remained completely the same was Shivhan Jade—Black Orchid—leaving the team for a while to go back to school. Barry was utterly relieved to find that her life hadn't been screwed up. And last, but not least, there was Belén. Belén.
"Well… I'll start with the most obvious one, being the reason I've had to stay at Joe's for the last couple of days..." Nina unashamedly chuckled, making Barry roll his eyes.
"Belén's pissed at you," she popped in another grape into her mouth.
Barry's deep frown was enough to confirm it. He came back to a world where he and Belén had a royally big argument that ended up with him leaving the apartment. He couldn't possibly remember any of that but it happened and Belén wasn't speaking to him now. The worst part is that he couldn't figure out what they argued about. "She won't talk to me because I won't apologize for what I did. But I can't do that because I don't know what I did!"
Nina rested a cheek against her closed fist. She could tell Barry had no clue—it was all in his face. He was utterly lost and confused. "This is sure coming back to bite you, isn't it?"
Barry's face fell flat at the question. It was a fair thing to ask but he didn't want to answer. "Point one, Nina."
Nina sighed heavily, finally taking pit on him. "You want to know why she's mad at you?"
"Very much, yeah."
"Datura." Nina smiled when Barry's face fell flat again. The mere mention of Belén's Earth 2 doppelganger put him in a sour mood. He thought that woman, and everything related to her, was completely gone after her defeat. "In your reality, before you changed it into, uh, that perfect world, did Belén fight Datura in the community theater?"
"Yeah..."
"Did Datura manage to escape?"
"What!?" Barry's eyes had widened.
"I will take that as a 'no'."
"What do you mean Datura escaped!?" Barry asked a smidge too loud that Nina had to shush him before someone overheard them. "Datura's gone? How can that be? Belén had her with the dampeners and the...there was Caitlin and Shivhan too! They captured her!"
"In this reality, Datura escaped when Belén stuck her with the cure. Belén passed out and Shivhan was too weak to get up. Caitlin making it out alive was a miracle. Datura let her live."
"No, no, no, no," Barry buried his face in his hands. Datura was gone? She escaped!? All of the work Belén had put into capturing her doppelganger had gone down the drain!?
"This didn't happen in the last timeline?" Nina felt terrible for him right now. Being responsible for the doppelganger of his girlfriend—the same doppelganger who tried murdering Belén countless times—was on the loose again...because of him.
"No," Barry shook his head. "Belén captured her and brought her back to STAR Labs. She was in the pipeline."
Belén came to a stop in front of the door and looked over her shoulder. She could feel Barry looking at her and for some reason she couldn't bring herself to face him. "Datura knew something about you," she whispered. "Something that you were going to do."
Barry's heart ached. "Yeah?"
Belén nodded. "She said it didn't matter what I did because you were going to do something that would screw it up. What are you going to do, Barry?"
Barry remembered that lost moment with Belén before he changed the timeline. Had Datura meant this? She had low level psychic abilities—those of which were siphoned from some poor soul—which, in theory, could have allowed her to see him changing the timeline.
"She said it didn't matter what I did because you were going to do something that would screw it up."
Barry brought a hand to his face. Was he going to screw Belén over? Like this? He couldn't believe he was in a world where Datura was right, and possibly the better person between them. "Nina, what exactly did I say to Belén?"
"Barry, it's not like I have a transcript or something..."
"Nina please," Barry begged. "I have to know so I can fix it."
Nina sighed and thought for a moment. Belén had been a hot mess after that fight so a lot of her words were meshed together even more than usual. "Um, something about thinking Belén let Datura go because of her psychic abilities. I think Datura said something about you doing something..."
Barry closed his eyes. "The timelines. Datura must have known that I was going to change the timelines."
"You thought Belén let Datura go so that she could try to change the timelines herself, stop the steps that would lead you to not change anything."
"What!?"
Nina raised her hands in defense. "I'm just the informer. You gonna eat that?" She pointed to the yogurt he'd barely touched sitting idly in front of him.
He shook his head and passed over the snack. He wasn't very hungry for anything that day. "Okay, well, I'll fix that. I don't know how but I will fix it. Tell me what happened between Iris and Joe. How come they're not talking?"
"Oh, let me guess, in the other timeline she actually forgave Joe for not telling her about her mother still being alive?"
"That's why they're mad?"
"Yup. To be fair, I would be upset too."
"You don't need to tell me about Cisco," Barry said before Nina even opened her mouth.
She swallowed some of the yogurt and blinked. "You know?"
"That his brother, Dante, is dead? Yeah," Barry had the stupid idea of following Cisco to 'the gym' which turned out to be a support group. At first Barry thought that Cisco developed a bad habit in this new timeline but no...Cisco felt guilty over not patching things up with his brother before he died. "I just don't know why he's mad at me."
"Yeah that's a very complicated one that I would rather stay away from," Nina apologized with a smile. "So you're all up to speed now, which means we're done," Nina put her spoon down and have a knowing smile at him. "And now that we are, I can finally say it."
"Say what…?" Barry dreaded yet another change he wasn't informed of.
"There were plenty of people you could've talked to about this, and yet...you chose me," Nina's intense stare made him squirm. "I mean, I guess Shivhan was another option but she's at school so here's me. Meaning, I have to either have the same life as in the other timeline, or…my life turned out to be better here. Which is it?" As she stood up, Barry's gaze slowly fell to the floor but then briefly flickered to her very pregnant stomach.
In this world, Nina Clarke was pregnant and about to give birth.
"So, which is it," the woman put her hands on her stomach. "Was I not pregnant? Or not married?" She waved her left hand with her wedding band. "Or both?" Barry met her playful gaze and hesitated to speak. "You can tell me," she chuckled. "I am asking. Full consent here to know what my other life entailed."
Barry sighed and just gave in. "Fine. You weren't married nor pregnant."
"Did I have my husband as my boyfriend or—"
"No."
"Ah. Did I have my powers?"
"The Tempest?" Barry was actually a little afraid he'd cost Nina her metahuman powers too. He'd only seen her once and got the gist the timeline was a bit kinder to her than the rest of their friends.
"The Tempest," Nina nodded and gestured her stomach. "And, according to Caitlin," she started in a whisper, "Mini-Tempest."
"Your baby...is a meta…?" Barry's eyes comically widened.
"She is following in her mother's footsteps," Nina proudly.
"And does your...husband know…?"
"He knows everything. Elliot knows about all of us," Nina decided to let him in on that secret. "You and Belén both said it was okay…"
Barry smiled. "Don't worry. You trust him, that means we do too."
"And, just a little advice between us, maybe explaining this whole timeline thing to the others isn't such a bad idea," she patted him on the shoulder. "I should get back to work."
"You shouldn't be working," Barry said off handedly.
"And you shouldn't be changing timelines," Nina quipped.
Barry took that second blow with a nod. Yeah, he deserved it. "Point 2 to Nina."
He considered the idea of telling the others about the new alterations of the timeline with some serious degree...but perhaps he was too much of a coward. By the time he got to the precinct, the idea had been thrown out the window. He was at least relieved to see that Singh was back as Captain once again.
Because then even Barry was met with his own unique alteration.
"Um, hello?" He geniously greeted the blonde man working in the second desk of the room.
"Yes. Hello, Mr. Allen," the blonde greeted with an English accent without looking up from his work. Barry already wasn't liking the stiffness in the tone of the man, but right now all he wanted to know was who the he was. "I can still see you're there and no, I don't want your help, thank you."
Barry moved up to the desk and eyed the name plaque sitting at the edge. "What are you doing here, Julian Albert, meta-human CSI Specialist?"
Julian met Barry's curious gaze with a deeply annoyed one. "I did tell you the meta-human conference was only for two days."
"Okay, but this is…"
"Still our lab... unfortunately," and the regret truly showed on Julian's face. "Yes, County forgot to mention that significant detail before assigning me, but here we are. Looks like you and I get to be roomies for a little longer than we'd hoped. Roomies."
At this point, Barry didn't know what to expect anymore. How many more things were changed? And in what ways would he find out? Someone cleared their throat at the doorway and garnered the attention of both men. Belén stood with a duffel bag slung around her shoulder.
"Bells-" Barry wasn't sure how he was going to apologize for something he really couldn't remember, but he would try as much as needed to.
Belén stopped him with a finger. "I'm in a rush. Save whatever sorry excuse you have." She them directed her gaze to Julian who was, rather amused, watching Barry's reaction. "My Mom said you were heading out anyways. You think you can give me a ride to the theater?"
"Your car still not fixed?" Julian asked, yet Barry was a bit indignant all that sourness in his earlier words were gone.
"Are you kidding me? Meta-apocalypse totaled it. I have to buy a new one but that's not the point here!" She exclaimed. "Point is, practice time is now and I have to be there! Let's go!"
"Yeah, alright," Julian agreed so easily it stunned Barry.
"Thank you," Belén said and turned to leave, but not before giving Barry a look. The poor speedster had no idea what the hell was going on.
Julian had gathered his things and started after her. "I don't know what you did, Allen, but it is fairly fun to see it unfold," he smirked and went on his way.
~0~
Nina laughed after hearing Barry's unfortunate run in with Julian. She was on her way to her car when the meta stopped her. "Oh right, Julian hates you."
"What—why!?"
Nina shrugged. "Don't know. But you hate him too. You always claim that he liked Belén."
"That makes sense," Barry muttered, thinking back to drastic change of attitude in Julian after Belén walked in. "He was all sunshine when Belén came into the lab—I hate him."
Nina smirked. "Green eyed speedster is not a good idea. And Belén doesn't like him. They were childhood friends, that's it."
"Childhood friends?" Barry repeated, trying to think of any story Belén might have told him including such a 'friend'.
Nina understood it was hard to feel relaxed when he really did not know what this new timeline entailed. She explained to him the situation since he was meant to already know this. "Barry, he's Mrs. Andrew's grandson, Belén's neighbor? He's been here for a year now."
"He wasn't here in the other world," Barry said the obvious.
"But he is now," Nina softly said. "And you're going to have to get around it somehow. I suggest not to argue with him a lot. That's always a source of arguments between you and Belén." Barry rolled his eyes and Nina added, "She's been his friend since they were kids, so they're close."
"Okay, but—"
"And she loves you," Nina purposely said louder to shut him up. "You guys put her in the middle of your fights like high schoolers. Since you've changed a lot of things, it wouldn't be a bad idea to change this too," she gave him a soft smile and a pat on the arm. "I have to go. My feet are killing me."
"You shouldn't be driving! You're pregnant!" Barry exclaimed as Nina got into her car.
She laughed in her seat and reached to close the door. "And you shouldn't be changing timelines yet here we are." She closed the door and left Barry to mumble a "Point three, Nina."
~0~
Caitlin wanted to be polite, it's how she found the way to survive throughout these rough times with the team. Being polite and mostly not talking worked like a charm whenever everyone was around but now that it was just her and Barry in the cortex, she could speak freely and tell him his sample just wasn't working.
"You know, there's really not that much here…" she looked up from the microscope examining the sample of a human body husk he'd brought in earlier.
Barry stood behind her with arms crossed. "Yeah, no, I know. It's basically touch DNA. I had to steal the sample because our meta-human expert wouldn't let me take one." It was mighty annoying having to work with someone who clearly disliked him and made things much more complicated.
A little smile worked its way across Caitlin's lips. "Oh, you mean Julian Albert?"
Barry sighed. "Yeah, you know him?" But of course they would know about that guy. It was just another thing he forgot about the new timeline.
Caitlin gave him an odd look for his question. "Yeah, Belén introduced us, remember?"
"Sure," Barry replied through gritted teeth.
Caitlin noticed the tension straight off and glanced at the threshold to see if Cisco was anywhere near. He'd gone off almost immediately after Barry arrived. "You know, Cisco told me you showed up to his bereavement group last night."
Barry dropped his arms to his side and sighed again. "Yeah, I did. He also tell you it didn't go so well?"
Caitlin apologetically nodded. "It's only been a few months since Dante was killed by that drunk driver. I'm sure he just needs a little bit more time."
"Yeah, but why is he mad at me?" Because as much as Barry looked at the situation from every possible angle, he just didn't understand why Cisco was upset with him.
Caitlin raised her hands almost instantly and turned away in her seat. "Oh no, I am staying out of that one!"
"Cait, he'll... he'll barely look at me unless other people are in the room!"
"Maybe it's just easier when the rest of us are around?"
Barry rubbed his face and surprisingly did good at keeping his frustration at bay. "Everyone's just... everything's wrong." Caitlin tilted her head in question over his choice of words. Barry leaned his hands on the desk and thought for a second. "Cait, do you think maybe you could convince Cisco to come with you to Joe's for dinner tonight?"
'Why?"
"So I can try to fix things between us, maybe between Joe and Iris, too. Just all of us together again in one room and try to work this out once and for all."
Caitlin thought that was definitely some god complex he was creating. "Are you sure that's a good idea? We haven't had a get together in...in a very long time…"
"It's better than just letting things keep going like this," Barry got himself a new round of determination and took a deep breath in. He started heading out.
"Where are you going?" Caitlin called from her seat.
"To get things arranged and then I'm gonna find Belén," he marched out with a good source of determination.
~0~
It was late in the afternoon when Belén finished her aerial dance practice. Today especially she needed the distractions so she might have stayed a little longer than planned. It explained her more weary attitude as she made her way up to the floor of her apartment. She unlocked her door with her free hand as she was carrying a cup of coffee she stopped by Jitters for, and automatically went to find the light switch. She stopped halfway when candlelights illuminated the entire apartment.
"What the…?" Her brain immediately wondered if a fire metahuman had popped up but soon deemed it ridiculous. No metahuman would take the time to delicately arrange candle lights everywhere before striking.
"I'm sorry," Barry's voice startled her. He emerged from the hallway. "Of course I know that you wouldn't purposely let Datura go, not even for my sake. You were obviously hurt and I should have focused more on that instead of stupidly believing that you let her go."
Belén seemed hesitant to believe it straight away. They'd spent a whole hour arguing over her last battle with Datura. She closed the door and dropped her duffel bag on the floor. "You said I was being irresponsible. That I shouldn't have let her go. Barry, I didn't." Her eyes glimmered with tears rather quick, making Barry wonder how much they argued about this and what terrible things were said. "In fact, I made a huge mistake when she escaped. I wasn't strong enough to keep her—"
"You were," Barry said, but she shook her head. "Belén, you passed out. Caitlin said that the device she made to cure Datura went haywire when it was connected to you and Datura. Plus, you had a chest injury. Passing out wasn't something you did voluntarily." Barry was frustrated, and the worst part was that he was frustrated with another version of himself so he couldn't technically do anything about it. He put his hands together, in front of his face, and took a deep breath. "Belén, you have no idea how sorry I am. I...ruin things—it's my trademark." He let his hands drop to his sides and shook his head. "I ruin things and the worst part is that I ruin them for everyone I love. I...screw them over." Datura's words were coming back to haunt him again. "I screwed up your fight and for some stupid reason I blamed you."
"You don't ruin things…" Belén said quietly. He was far too worked up this time around. "I just...I don't understand how you would think that I purposely let her go. What she said about you changing things, breaking the ultimate rule...even if she was saying something coherent, I wouldn't let her go for that. I'm trying to find her — every day, every night, I try to look for her."
"I know, of course you would. I believe you, trust me." Barry took a few steps towards her. "I know you would do that because it's who you are. You make good choices...I don't."
Belén shook her head. "No, don't say that, Barry. You try and that's what matters. I just need to know that you trust me."
"Of course. Bells, you have no idea how proud I was of you. You used to be so afraid of Datura and you ended up fighting her and putting her friend away, bringing her down. I got to see that."
Belén smiled sadly. "Yeah," she swallowed hard. Despite how the fight ended, she would always be proud of herself for rising up to that woman. She stood up and fought. She'd technically won too...she just passed out before she could imprison Datura.
"I'm sorry," Barry said again and reached for her free hand. "Can I make that up to you, little by little?"
"One condition: you're going to get rid of the candles all on your own." Belén gazed at the dozens and dozens of candles surrounding them. Barry laughed but promised he would. "Without speed," she warned. "Fire, wind...bad."
"I solemnly swear," Barry raised a hand to show he was serious.
Belén didn't bother with it as she leaned forwards, far too excitedly to kiss him. In her excitement, she bumped her coffee cup into him and spilled said coffee on him. She gasped and covered her mouth. "I am so sorry!"
Flashes of her previous (yet nonexistant anymore) drink-spilling accident made Barry laugh even harder. No matter what timeline they were in, this would always happen and he wouldn't want it any other way.
"Why are you laughing?" Belén asked, dead serious. "We're good now, you don't have to keep trying here!" She wanted to help him but didn't know how. Her hands kept going forwards and backwards trying to get him to keep still enough for her to help him get cleaned up.
Barry had other ideas instead. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her up to him for a sound kiss. Belén didn't mind the warm coffee staining her too; she missed her boyfriend a lot.
"Is it okay if I sleep here again?" Barry still asked cautiously afterwards.
Belén chuckled with her arms still around him. "Yes, I've missed you. But you'll have to share the bathroom with Iris again. She'll hate that."
"What?" Barry blinked and looked around for Iris as if she would pop up any moment.
"She's staying here, remember? She and her Dad…?" Belén wasn't sure how to take his realization. This wasn't news. It was like he was barely hearing about it. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, uh…I was just focused on you that I...forgot about everything else…" Barry was slowly putting the pieces together of this new timeline and with every new piece he found everything was worse than he thought.
"That is cliche and I love that...and you... and this place…" Belén looked around with a big smile. "I'd feel more romantic if I hadn't spilled coffee on you and if I had showered…" She then poked him on the chest with an innocent twinkle in her eyes, "Two of which we can fix...together…?"
"How…?" The fact Barry looked genuinely confused made Belén want to kiss him again, but she held herself for another moment.
"Don't make me explain. My singing scientist you are much smarter than that…" She pointed them to the hallway and let her smirk clarify it all for him. She laughed when it finally donned on him.
"Oooh...!"
~0~
Dinner was difficult to get everyone together, but what Barry found the hardest was getting people to talk. Belén could have told him this idea wasn't going to work out but she thought he would probably realize before…
Apparently not.
"This hits the spot, huh?" Barry said after dead silence for a good ten minutes. He hoped it would spark some conversation at the table, but only Joe followed.
"You can thank Grandma Esther…"
"Well thank her indeed," Nina was the only one eagerly eating. She hated her big appetite but no one seemed surprised.
Barry couldn't help smile at her. "Actually, I just meant, um... all of us, actually, just here, together. I was actually thinking, um, that maybe it'd be fun if we all went away together for a few days. Just like a little Team Flash vacay…?"
Iris lowered her fork, trying to understand what he was getting at. "And do what?"
"Bond? Reconnect?" Barry was getting nowhere with them.
"You mean like a retreat?" Caitlin asked just to be sure.
"That's the ones with trust exercises and the weird songs…" even Belén was having trouble picturing the idea.
"Epic fail, party of eight," Cisco muttered as he angrily stuffed his forkbite into his mouth. Caitlin gave him a disapproving look but he merely shrugged and ate.
Barry did his best to keep things going despite the odds of winning becoming more and more slim. "I just... I just feel like we're not the team that we were or can be."
"I'd be down for it," Wally felt awkward as he raised a hand. Thankfully, Nina did the same.
"I would be too, but, uh…" she gestured to her current state, "I'm afraid I think I'll pop at any second. Plus, I'm not sure Elliot would be okay with it. Sorry."
"I...I get what you're trying to do, but...you don't think we can afford to take a vacation," Belén bit her lip, sending Barry an apologetic smile.
"You were the one that said we should take a break to Italy," Barry said without thinking.
"I did?" Judging by her face, Barry figured the changed timelines erased that part of her too.
"I'm going to have to agree with Belén, sorry," Caitlin spoke up, very much sorry. "Especially with all these husks showing up all over town—"
"Speaking of husks, I'm glad you're finally ready to open up about them," Iris gave her a father an expectant glance.
"Iris, I already told you, I can't tell you anything about this case."
Iris was confused only for a second before she realized what actually happened. "Oh, really? Because that's not what I was told."
Joe was quick to figure it out as well. "Strange. I was under the impression you had some things to say to me, too. Isn't that right, Bar?"
"Told you. Epic fail," Cisco murmured to Caitlin who, by this point, didn't know how to keep his comments at bay.
Barry sighed and gave up. "Okay, look, yeah. I arranged this. I put all this together. I'm sorry, guys. Look, I just... we're not acting like a team, and I just wanted things back to how they were. Just fixed."
Cisco shook his head and let his fork fall on his plate with a loud clang. "If you wanted things fixed, maybe you should have gone back in time and stopped my brother from dying!"
Everyone went dead silent, including Barry who had finally understood the real problem Cisco had with him.
"You want me to change the timeline to save Dante?" The mere question added on an extra layer of guilt on Barry.
"Why would you do that?" Cisco sarcastically responded. "It's not like he's your brother." Everyone's cellphones went off with the same alert.
Cisco picked up his phone first. "Meta-human app. We gotta go!"
"I would love to help—" Nina barely got the words out when Belén shushed her.
"Elliot would kill us," the ombre-blonde pointed Nina to Wally. "Look after her please," she asked and hurried off with the others.
Barry was the first one to reach the spot where the metahuman app had directed them. Saying he was stunned to find the Rival was a clear understatement. He was beyond confused and wondered if, somehow, the timeline was yet again being changed as a consequence of his decisions.
The Rival seemed to understand perfectly the situation Barry was in. he ripped off the hood of his mask with smug rage. "Remember me, Flash?"
"Clariss?"
"Oh, you do remember, Flash? Good, I remember everything, too."
"How are you here?"
"It doesn't matter. You see, what does matter is that I know your little secret. You changed the timeline. Because if I recall correctly, the only Speedsters in my other life were me and that smartass Kid Flash, until you showed up and stole everything from me!"
"I didn't steal anything from you, Clariss. I... I was just trying to put things back to the way they're supposed to be!" Barry hoped to God no one was listening in on them.
"This is how my life is supposed to be!" Clariss shouted. "For years, I felt like something was missing. And now I know why."
"Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you-"
"Yeah, well, you did. And here I am. Your Rival, back again," Clariss gestured to himself with utter pride. "Believe me, Flash, this time, you're not gonna steal my life so easily!"
He took off with his usual speed, leaving Barry to go after him. The two chased each other all over the city with no upper hand. When it looked like the Rival was about to speed ahead Barry surprised him from the side and threw him with all his force. The Rival toppled over many streets until his body flung over the water bridge. Barry was there mere seconds later but as much as he looked the Rival was gone.
~0~
"Barry, hey!" Belén found him first after coming back to STAR Labs. "I'm sorry I didn't catch up - something...came up…"
And perhaps if Barry had been paying better attention to her instead of the fact Edward Clariss was back, he would've sensed her strange excuse. He merely told her it was alright and went on to tell her, and the rest of the group, what happened.
Belén's mother, Veronica, was the first to get frustrated. "You mean to tell us that after finally getting rid of Zoom there's another evil Speedster?" The detective flung a hand towards Belén who blinked with surprise. "At least tell me there's no doppelgangers this time?"
"Why do you imply it's going to be another me?" Belén frowned. Veronica waved her off, deepening her frown. "I'm praying that Datura was the only evil one of my doppelgangers."
"Okay, well, who is this guy?" Iris asked Cisco and Caitlin at the desk.
"Well," Caitlin got up from her chair as she worked to bring up the profile of their new meta, "I finally got the results back from the test I ran on the husk that Barry gave me this morning. And it's weird, because there's no traces of dark matter, but there are traces of the Speed Force. His name is…"
"Edward Clariss," Barry dejectedly said just mere seconds before the screen behind him came to life with Clariss' profile. Everyone's eyes flickered from Barry to the screen and so forth.
"And somehow Barry is exactly right," Caitlin sat back down trying to figure out how that was possible.
"You're holding out on us," Belén knew right off the top. She didn't mean it to be demanding, but that's the lead Iris took.
"What is it?"
Barry couldn't take their accusing looks, especially when he knew it was all his fault. Clariss had come back, and on top of it he created terrible rifts between his own family. It was all him. He did it…
"Barry?" Belén cautiously called his name. There was something not right with him but she couldn't decide if it was still grief or... something new.
"I'm sorry...I have to...I have to fix things," Barry decided and sped out of there. He would attempt to fix things the only way he knew of…
"What just happened?" Iris was left asking in the room. No one had an answer.
"It's just Barry," Cisco muttered and walked out.
"We need to figure out a way to put that speedster in the pipeline," Joe told the remaining women. "Before he does something really bad."
"We'll figure something out," Caitlin promised him and Veronica as the two began to leave as well.
"Belén, can I show you something?" Iris asked ad soon as it was just them and Caitlin. She motioned Caitlin to near them too as she pulled out her phone.
"What are we looking at exactly?" Belén asked after Iris pulled up a security video of the waterfront where Barry and Clariss were.
"This is the feed Cisco pulled up while you and Caitlin went M.I.A after dinner," Iris explained, although she missed the nervous glances of her two friends. "He didn't pay too much attention to it - does that a lot now often - but I did. Okay look, it's pretty obvious that this guy knows Barry." Because indeed the two speedsters were conversing quite emotionally before they chased each other.
"I don't... understand…" Caitlin gave a tilt of her head. It did look like Clariss was...accusing Barry of something? That pointed finger at Barry couldn't say anything else.
"Barry is keeping things from us, I know it," Iris put her phone away and settled a sharp stare on Belén. "And you need to find out what it is."
The woman in question blinked with alarm. "Me?" she pointed at herself. "Demand to know about a secret? I don't...I don't think I can, Iris." She avoided Iris' scrutinizing eyes by backtracking several steps from her and Caitlin in the process.
"What? Why not?" Iris crossed her arms, expecting some sort of explanation that would possibly make sense.
Belén's eyes kept flickering to Caitlin, something Iris picked up on fast, while she really did try to answer the question. "I just...I don't...it would be very...I can't." And Belén hated how that made her sound, but she just couldn't go demanding Barry to reveal something, not when she was…
Iris turned to Caitlin to see what the brunette had to say, but Caitlin followed Belén's league and avoided making eye contact with Iris at all costs. "You want to fill me in or something…?" Iris asked both of them.
"I just can't, I'm sorry," Belén shook her head and hurried out.
"I think it's better to just drop it, Iris," Caitlin gave Iris a soft warning and went after Belén.
Iris truly had no words, and much less a clue as to what had just happened.
~ 0 ~
The last thing Barry ever thought would happen now was facing his father's doppelganger and actually being forced to have breakfast with him on Earth 3. Really, what else could happen now? Oh, right, this earth ran a little slow so it was also 1998.
Barry really hoped that was it. "This isn't the reason you pulled me out of the Speed Force right?" he gestured to the menu on the table.
Henry gave a shake of his head. "Because you were about to reset the timeline again after screwing it all up." Barry opened his mouth but only noises of his shock came out. "Oh, yeah, I know about that."
"How did you—"
"After your not-so-subtle reaction when you first met me... Harry told me all that happened with Zoom and your mom and your dad, so I decided I'd keep my eye on you for a bit."
Barry figured that was exactly what Harry would have done the moment they were gone. "He tell you anything else?"
"He did. I'm your father's doppelganger. Sorry about that…" Because even now it was hard for Barry to keep an eye-level conversation with him.
"It's just...really weird."
"And really sad, too... I'm sure. Having a loss like that in your life, I see why you'd wanna erase it. Who wouldn't try to save their parents? I understand that, Barry, completely. But the thing is, there are consequences to time travel."
"I have heard all of this before—" Barry tried to say, even about to count the times he'd heard the same lecture. It didn't matter anymore as he'd done already.
"Not from me you haven't. I'm not some Doctor with a theory, Barry. I'm a Speedster, like you, who's traveled in time, and made these same mistakes you are making right now. Here, let me show you something," Henry reached for an empty cup of tea beside the menu on the table.
Barry rolled his eyes, and surely was about to leave. "Okay, you know what—"
"Humor me, kid," Henry motioned him to keep in his seat. "This coffee cup right here. Think of it as the space-time continuum. Whenever you go back in time it breaks." He vibrated the cup until a chip of it cracked.
Barry wanted to know how the man was giving speedster lectures when he just vibrating his hand in open daylight. "For real?"
"Now... you can reset the timeline, you can try to fix it, but no matter how hard you try…" Jay had pulled the chip of the cup off and tried placing back as if it was never broken in the first place, "...it's never gonna be exactly how it was."
"Look, I've learned all this stuff that I didn't know before, okay? I'm not gonna make the same—"
"Mistakes," Jay finished for him. "Yeah, what you just said right there? That is the paradox of time travel, and also the paradox of life. I mean, if I only knew then what I know now."
"Why have these powers if I can't go back and fix what I broke?" Barry couldn't help demand with frustration. Here he was with powers not a lot of people had and yet he couldn't do something grand like saving people from death without causing even more trouble? What kind of logic was that?
"We're not gods, we're men, who, for whatever reason, have been given extraordinary abilities," Jay hoped Barry would catch on. "The question you need to ask yourself is, what kind of hero are you gonna be? Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake? Or will you live with them and move forward?"
Ah, the ringing honest question that made Barry pause for the first time and think about the long run. It wasn't the present, nor the next day he should be thinking about...it was the future. What kind of person was he going to be for the rest of his life?
~ 0 ~
"Are you sure you're okay?" Caitlin's question carried into the cortex as she and Belén walked in. Cisco, Iris, Joe and Veronica were already there, recruited once again.
"Yeah, yeah," Belén waved Caitlin to stop just as they faced everyone. "Where's Barry?" she asked the group.
Just a mere second later, Barry sped into the room with a face worse for wear. "I need to tell you all something," he said almost instantly. He needed to be fast or else his courage might slip away from him. "The truth."
"The truth about what?" Iris asked.
"Okay, um... after Zoom killed my dad, after we defeated him, um... I wasn't in a great space, and I felt like the only way I could fix that was to run back in time and save my mom."
There was a silence over the group as Barry's words settled down.
"You stopped the Reverse-Flash from killing your mom?" Belén spoke slowly, as if that would make better sense for her.
"Yes…" Barry let his head hang in shame.
"Wait, so, is she alive?" Wally wondered out loud.
"She was. For a few months. I lived with her and my dad. I had a completely different life," Barry still smiled at the bittersweet memories. "I wasn't even the Flash for most of it."
"You mean to tell us you created this whole...other world, then?" Even Veronica was lost like Wally. She didn't understand the full extent of a speedster's powers, and she never cared enough to ask.
"Okay, um…" Barry spotted a nearby clear board and picked up a marker to explain in the usual way. "This is the timeline," he drew a horizontal line and made a dot at the end. "This is the point that we exist on it right now. This—" he scribbled in a dot at the other end of the line, "—past point is where my mom was murdered. So when I saved her, I created a new reality. A new timeline. I was living in…"
"A mirror universe," Cisco mumbled but Barry heard him.
"It's called a Flashpoint, apparently."
"But you decided to leave it," Joe gestured to the obvious. "Why?"
Barry sighed. "That life started to spin out of control. This guy, Clariss, he was a Speedster there, too. He was known as the Rival. He caused a lot of problems. So, um... I decided to run back in time again and let things happen as they were supposed to, in hopes of... resetting the timeline, but…"
"Things weren't the same," Belén understood first.
"She said it didn't matter what I did because you were going to do something that would screw it up."
She shuddered. This is what Datura had seen this coming. It had to be. "You screwed it up," the words tumbled out of her mouth.
Barry knew what she was thinking of. They both remembered. "When I came back, things weren't the same. People weren't the same. Um, I created another timeline."
"Another world to live in," Caitlin nodded. "This—" she gestured with a finger at the room, "—isn't the original world we used to live in?"
"It's not as different as the last one. Not in large ways, but in some ways, in smaller ways, and, uh—" Barry swallowed hard, "—meaningful ways for all of you or anybody that's close to me. And I can't ever really put it back together." He forced himself to face everyone in the eyes, like they deserved, because at this point it was all he could for them.
"Barry, that's a lot to take in…" Joe murmured from his spot.
"We got along in that other life, my dad and I, didn't we?" Iris finally realized that part and didn't know whether or not to be furious or plain sad. "That's why you've been working so hard to get us talking again."
"Okay, here's the thing. Um, I will tell you what's different, all of you, if you wanna know," Barry made it clear, even though it might not even do them well. He would still give them that choice. "But you have to live with those differences because I can't change it again. But at least you'll know. And you all deserve that choice."
Belén put her two index fingers together in front of her nose, her mind thinking rapidly. "That's why you asked about Italy. I never said anything about a trip. And the fight we had...that's why you were so confused. You didn't argue with me, this timeline's version of you did."
"So you decided it was okay to change things when someone in your family dies, but when it's someone in my family…" Cisco pointed after the two and waved at the others, indicating he was taking a leaf out of their book.
Iris rubbed her forehead, unsure of what she even thought at the moment. "We're...going to need some time, Barry."
"I know," Barry whispered. He understood the consequences, and that was what he was going to face...with all his courage.
~ 0 ~
Belén was heading into the Green room of the building for some space when her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw an unknown number on the screen. She brought the phone to her ear to answer it. "Hello?"
"I did warn you, didn't I?"
Belén froze.
"Tsk, tsk, the speedster breaking the ultimate rule: changing the timelines. He has no idea what he's done to everyone."
Belén swallowed hard. "Datura."
#ocappreciation#arrowverseocs#fd: the flash#the flash#barry allen#the flash fics#barry allen fics#barry allen imagines#barry allen x oc#the flash imagines#the flash x oc#arrowverse ocs#arrowverse fics#arrowverse imagines#oc: Belén Palayta#oc: Belen Palayta#fic: make you stay#i'm also catching this fic up across platforms#i have like 4 more chapters left to catch up to so bear with me!!
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I'm sorry, is it anarkiddie cringe to make your own medicine now??? Do you really think people make medicine on their own entirely out of a childish want to Stick It To The Man? That there is no other reasoning behind it, practical or material? That anyone doing this is just a stupid idiot for not just buying hundred dollar medications, which costs so much not because its difficult to make but specifically just because the companies producing them chose to make it so to the detriment of those unable to afford it?
I honestly shouldn't be as mad as I am right now because I've seen hundreds of posts like this at this point but there's something so vacuous yet cruel about asserting that anyone who makes or otherwise uses DIY medication is just an idiot who couldn't possibly understand the so complex idea that this isn't necessarily the best way to make medicine, especially concerning the fact that you're explicitly talking about insulin, a lifesaving yet increasingly unaffordable medication whose inaccessibility is infamous at this point. What the fuck do you want people to do, then? It's not like there's a communist alternative to buying it. Hell, is it capitalist ideology to do DIY HRT because professionally made medication is preferable?
You can read as much marx and mao and gramsci or whatever as you want but you're all unmatched in your incapability of understanding any other position whatsoever, so much that your only way of even comprehending anarchists is to Make Up A Guy in your heads, because you just can't possibly imagine anyone coming to the conclusion that, the state is bad? Not like any communist theory has ever come close to think that, none even comes to mind. No, every anarchist in history of the world, dead or alive, was just some idiot that decided they don't like people having complete, total control over their lives completely arbitrarily. Not a single one has EVER sat down to think "gee, I guess we better figure out how medicine will work if we're not going to be part of the capitalist state"? Do you think that there is no such thing as authoritarianism and that the USSR and the like were miraculous paradises that can never be even slightly criticized? Do you think that no single poor, working, homeless, ostracized, etc. lower class person could ever come to the conclusion that they don't particularly like the state?
But sure, only well-off, privileged capitalists could be so desperate as to try to get together to make their own medicine that they literally need to live even though they don't know shit about it, I'm sure you think you're a genius for coming to that conclusion, no need to even actually go as far as to think about the material conditions surrounding this or even around anarchism as a whole. Why even consider how much sense it would make for apparently middle-class business owners to use the worst equipment in the world when such individuals should be capable of at least affording better? Or consider the capitalist influences on the institution of medicine as a whole? And don't even think about the intertwined history of communism and anarchism, or about the fact that almost no anarchist is in favor of libertarianism, except for the ones that no other anarchists respect. No, the only respectable choice is to spite anyone who tries to act against the capitalist state in a way you don't agree with, and instead be completely obedient to our capitalist overlords until the day comes that they're communist overlords or whatever i guess. You disgust me. EDIT: hey fuck you, I see you hid my later replies but not this one so that you can still try to act like I'm the stupid one here. Here it is:
I dont have the first reply i made to this comment so i'll just make another:
Your "reasons" are bullshit, and nothing that you have said about anarchism holds up to any scrutiny. Even a cursory glance at the wikipedia page for anarchism can easily disprove everything you've said. Your entire argument is based around nothing but just what your personal imagination of anarchists is. Marx himself was anti-state (hence the goals of a communist society being both classlessness and statelessness) but you're just going to ignore that because your actual comprehension of leftist theory is just not as important as your main priority of shitting on anyone else who has any degree of disagreement over what leftist action should entail. Again, please make a real criticism instead of just bullshitting reasons to make fun of people for, again, trying to obtain literally life-saving medicine.
why do usamerican anarchists even want to cook bathtub insulin like regulations on drug manufacturing just arent exploitative relationships
the only reason anyone ever does anything incorrectly is the profit motive. if you took away all safety regulations and threw a bunch of random people into a machine shop and asked them to build medical equipment they'd do so perfectly safely and correctly, because why would they Want to do otherwise?
i joke, obviously, but that's the thought process - it's fundamentally an extension of idealism: for a politics that otherwise completely ignores the material necessities and restrictions placed on political organisation and the measures they require to apply to the real world, in favour of, essentially 'if everyone just agrees with us our ideas will win', it shouldn't be that surprising that that extends to production.
in reality, of course, there are factors outside direct human control, and the implementation of safety regulations and inspections are an incredibly obvious and necessary measure - *but*, once you accept that, the question is then 'what good are safety regulations without any form of enforcement?', which, for anyone concerned with simply the task of bettering life for the working class, would prompt a response of 'oh, you're right, we'll need some form of enforcement, then.' for a lot of people, that's the end of their relationship with anarchism.
however, the underlying motives that generate these politics - as, in general, idealist political philosophies disconnected from reality don't simply spring up by themselves - aren't about the task of bettering life for the working class. fundamentally, the interests of these worldviews are those of the small-producer, the middle class: they promote a utopia where everyone is a small business owner (whether in a commune or a 'free market'), and, providing no real method to achieve these utopias, function mainly to drive these middle classes away from their character as labourers, and towards their privileges. the question of 'authority', a nebulous concept, has always been specifically the existence of any authority *over the small-producer's enterprise*. it's for *that* reason that, when the idea of 'authority' comes into contradiction with the task of improving the lives of the working people, some *do* decide that 'authority' is more important.
there is no such thing as a definite 'left' and 'right wing' - there are left wings and right wings of individual classes, but they both share more in class interest than they often do with their counterparts of other classes. libertarianism, in all its forms, is a middle class ideology, and shares its flaws - any jab against libertarians works just as well, 'who'll build the roads', 'would you need a driver's license', 'how will you ensure medicine is produced safely', etc.
when faced with these problems, people not married to the need to avoid 'authority' will simply accept the ideology is flawed - there are people who are pre-emptively 'anti-state', but fundamentally, their opponents are not 'pro-state', just practical. the anarchists are the only people coming to the table with a pre-existing, overriding position about 'authority' and the role of the state, and they're willing to abandon all practicalities to support it. functional regulations on medicine production *have* to be considered authoritarian, because that's the point of the ideology.
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Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.
Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…
Well, it was okay. For about a month.
Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—
Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.
Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.
Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).
A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.
—*—*—*—*—*
“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?
“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”
“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”
Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”
Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”
Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.
“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”
Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.
Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.
“Is that a kid?”
“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.
“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.
“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”
“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.
“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”
“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.
He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.
But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.
That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.
“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”
That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.
“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.
She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.
“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”
“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.
“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”
“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.
Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“
“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“
“Language, Hood.”
“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”
“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”
“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”
Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”
Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.
All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.
“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”
Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.
“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”
She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.
“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.
“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.
Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?
“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.
She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?
And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.
And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.
What the hell?
“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.
“What’s this?” She asked.
“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”
“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.
Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”
“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.
“Yeah, kid?”
“Thanks.”
—*—*—*—*—*
Permanent tag list (I remembered it this time!)
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how to fake date your best friend | jake sim
✰ summary: the rules were simple -
pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only
no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure
and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love.
simple, right?
well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules.
and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.
✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!]
✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers
✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥
✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k
✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
Tuesday, December 8th
Jake Sim lives a simple life.
He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends.
Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space.
But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life.
And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him.
He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings.
They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.
He’s totally not in love with you.
So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change.
Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history).
So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever.
Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one.
It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second.
And that catches us up to the present.
“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table.
Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all.
He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking.
You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense.
“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.)
When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue.
“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?”
Wrong.
Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.
Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend.
(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.)
But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull.
Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon.
Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak.
Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection.
If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was.
Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners.
How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him.
For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school)
In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time.
And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon.
Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you.
Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be.
That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t.
Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life.
And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you.
“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract.
Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we?
“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second.
“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.”
Right. Of course. Obviously.
“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way.
Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know.
Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?
Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you.
Yes, that’s it, just say no.
Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact.
Jake does not say no.
He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another.
To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart.
So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.
Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.
Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.
Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting.
How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?
Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.
Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea.
It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you:
y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake
y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best
y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333
Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture.
Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world.
After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right?
Spoken like a true simp.
Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously.
And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all.
Wednesday, December 9th
Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well.
“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist.
“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.”
Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say.
“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.
Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself.
“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...”
Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good.
This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often.
And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush.
Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment.
“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking.
You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers.
“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun.
Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table.
“I’m helping y/n study”
“I have an important skating performance on Sunday”
“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)
Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?”
Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party?
That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime.
Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.”
Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes.
Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again.
He then looks to you with puppy eyes.
You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.
Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you.
If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that.
You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought.
Weird.
You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest.
“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.”
Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no.
He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party.
But–
But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.”
Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.”
You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you.
For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay.
Admittedly cute.
Thursday, December 10th
You are having a bad day.
You’re having the mother of bad days.
Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due.
Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms.
You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse.
You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about.
To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.
And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal).
Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n.
Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done.
Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space.
You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays.
Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude.
As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone.
Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding”
Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is
Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? ://
It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today.
You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.
y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg
Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home.
It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures.
You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy.
You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue.
You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.”
Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in.
“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window.
“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door.
Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right?
“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats.
“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood.
You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...
“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.”
Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?”
“Touché,” you click your tongue.
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.
You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?”
You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously.
Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you.
“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?”
“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood.
You nod at his answer.
“You two make a good couple.”
You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?
“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.”
He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen.
You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say.
You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.
But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy.
Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.
Jake.
Weird.
But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.
"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.
You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.
Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.
Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.
The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing.
You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.
As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.
Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.
You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.
And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation.
You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.
The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.
Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–
"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"
You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.
You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.
“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon.
You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him.
You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.
“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.
Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you.
Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.”
Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.
Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show.
Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice.
“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand.
His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands.
Hm. A little too familiar.
Then, it clicks in his head.
His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?”
“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.”
“You’re annoying.”
“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied.
After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table.
“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken.
You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?”
Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!”
You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him.
The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–
“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice.
You break out of his trance and scoff at him.
“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well. Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you.
“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.”
Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence.
Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute.
Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.”
“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name.
Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place. “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan.
You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts.
You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.”
Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it.
“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute.
He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being.
Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion.
“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind.
“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.”
Friday, December 11th
The party does not clear your mind.
If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school.
You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood.
You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway.
You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––
“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case.
The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings).
You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.
You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.
“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.
The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news.
“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people.
The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.
“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap.
“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously.
You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive.
But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you.
Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth.
(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.)
But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons.
Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no.
But he sure can be awkward.
And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him.
As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you.
Bless this pure, pure boy.
Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them.
“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.”
Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!”
“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response.
Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den.
"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.
Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.
"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.”
Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.
"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."
Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.
"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?”
“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap).
“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.”
Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake.
“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement.
“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.”
Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth.
“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now.
“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.”
Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him.
“What do you mean I’m too–”
Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.
Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his.
You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at.
Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop.
When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-
“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him.
“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.”
Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing.
Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened.
But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.
Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.
He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.
From you.
He’s screwed.
Saturday, December 12th
When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night.
The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream.
Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.
And fourth, a buzzing noise.
Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone.
After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search.
Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before.
y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet?
y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no
y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up
jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry
jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up
y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy?
y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth
jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao
y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door
Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts.
Talk? Outside his door?
Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down.
He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less.
Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however.
He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch.
“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is.
“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue.
“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?”
“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you.
You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home.
Or was that because it reminded you of Jake?
“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps.
You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes.
The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you.
Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence.
But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking.
But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think.
Not when it comes to you.
He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you.
“Look, I-”
“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around.
He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth.
“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.”
You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.
Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.
He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.
“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare.
"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.”
Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.
Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help.
"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.”
You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.”
Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.”
“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away.
Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.
“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare.
Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two.
Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily.
Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you.
Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.
He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away.
When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure.
“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response.
Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else.
“Too late.”
✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’)))))
#let me know what u think :D#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jake#jakesim#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#enhypen jake sim#enhypen jake fluff#jake sim x reader#enhypen jake imagine#jake fluff#jake sim#jake shim#iland#iland jake#iland imagines#jake#enhypen oneshots#enhypen oneshot
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Ok, I’ve tried and tried and tried to write this fic because I see it so clearly in my mind but it’s just not going no matter what I do. But I don’t want the idea to die with me. The closest this came to being written was exile which was an attempt to bleed out some of the energy of this au.
Anyway, so it starts off vaguely similar to canon only more aggressive. There had been underlying tension between ghosts and humans for a while, the dead jealous/angry at the living for disrespecting them. The successful creation of the Fenton ghost portal (and another halfa) was considered an act of war and so the ghosts responded in kind. So basically all of S1 occurs fairly close to canon except ghost attacks are more violent and have increasingly more consequences as time passes. Also the attacks aren’t just in Amity Park with ghosts becoming a worldwide issue but Amity is a focal point. Regular people know the ghosts hate them though they don’t know why. Phantom is very much a controversial figure as he is a ghost but also clearly is fighting off the more violent ghosts.
One day, not long after the events of Control Freaks, Amity Park wakes up to find three of their own are gone. Danny Fenton, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley are nowhere to be found. There’s a massive manhunt, the parents go on TV and beg for information but they cannot be found. Curiously enough, town hero Phantom was also missing. There’s some evidence they left of their own volition so the Mansons and Foleys eventually relent that the kids fled on their own. The Fentons are 100% certain the kids were stolen/killed by ghosts as a statement. And the fact that Phantom went missing around the same time means he was the one who killed them. Jazz knows Danny was Phantom but had no idea what was going on and knew her parents wouldn’t listen she just, kept quiet and privately tried to piece together what happened.
Three years pass and finally it looks like the Ecto War is coming to a close. Young, naive ghosts attempted to raise Pariah Dark in a bid to win. It went disastrously but Phantom (who was periodically spotted around the world, deep in the worst battles of the war) and group of loyal allies subdued the king. By the law of ghosts, Phantom was named heir apparent and he declared that the fighting would stop. Humans and ghosts would have to negotiate and co-exist in peace. But he’s not king yet, no he needs to be crowned at the place where it began, Amity Park’s Fenton portal (”where it all began” has a double meaning of the beginning of the war but also symbolically where Phantom began as Kings assume the crown where their living life ended to show their abandonment of their first life and the commitment to their second). Amity is NOT happy to hear that their former hero is coming home.
Amity has been through the wringer, ghost attacks got pretty bad. The Fenton’s throw themselves into their work to cancel out the grief, they create a group of ghost hunters nicknamed the Reds (for their red blood, ghosts are nicknamed Greens) to control the threat. Valerie heads the young adult division and is considered one of the best, she drops out of school to devote herself to it full time. Oh also her dad is now the Mayor as most have died or didn’t want the job. There are still people who like Phantom and see him as a hero (a lot of Casper Kids) but it’s generally an unpopular opinion in town. Maddie and Jack are ready to obliterate the ghost that took their son’s life the moment he’s within city limits. It’s a powder keg ready to blow. It all comes to a head when Phantom and his entourage arrive.
First off, Phantom looks very different, much less human looking than when he left. He’s clearly aged like a normal teen but his eyes look much, much older. His skin is dead white with a blue tinge to it from his ice core and his aura is super cold. His hair is longer and is very misty that kind of swirls around him and his has fangs and claws. When he’s deep in battle or his obsession, his sclera turn black and he looks scary af. His entourage is ghosts who have sworn loyalty to him, who he picked up along the way after battling beside them for 3 years. Fright Knight, Skulker and Frostbite are recognizable allies. They are not happy that their future King is back in Amity (secretly fearing they’ll lose him once more to his human life). J&M have a shot and are going for the kill when they see something that shocks them; Sam and Tucker are in Phantom’s entourage.
There had been whispers that Phantom interacted with humans, that humans were in his inner circle but this is something else together. And so are Sam and Tucker. Sam is Phantom’s General, she is talented and collected and half feral. She used to be a pacifist but the trials of war and understanding that peace sometimes needs to be fought for made her compromise. She’s covered in scars and an extremely talented fighter. She’s missing her right hand up to her forearm, she can form a ‘phantom limb’ (basically borrowing ectoplasm from her future ghost) to do some things with some powers. Tucker is the support, he uses human and ghost tech to organize, weaponize and generally keep things running. He’s covered in homemade tech (shields and weapons and computers) and he rarely removes. Both he and Sam have kinda forgotten how to interact with and really BE human after so long among the dead. They had attempted to conceal themselves but they had forgotten how strong parental love and recognition is. J&M want to know about Danny, the teens don’t know how to respond but assure them he’s alive. Phantom can’t bring himself to look at them.
This is where I start to lose track of things but there will be parallels of Valerie/Maddie vs Sam as female warriors on opposite sides who are willing to go behind, possibly compromising the things important to them, for victory. Tucker will be contrasted against Jack/Jazz as the one making weapons but also generally keeping the human parts of the team mentally/physically afloat. *Severe* PTSD for all three of them. They’re also unnaturally codependent on each other, get super anxious when one of the trio is out of sight and sleep in a big cuddle pile. They will fucking Kill You if you look at one of them wrong. Vlad will be involved, he had been jailed for war crimes but convinced Walker to stage a coup to overthrow Danny and take the crown before he’s actually declared King and is too powerful. Vlad is more unhinged here, more ghost than human (a hint on what could happen to Danny if he’s not careful). He is eventually defeated but he sacrifices his life for ghost power which, in the end, is what makes him able to be beaten.
There’s lots of ideas on what it means to be live or dead and where the divide really is, is it a heartbeat or it is how you choose to use your existence. On how duty shouldn’t mean you need to give up everything. Because Jack and Maddie believe that Phantom killed their son and, in a way, they’re right. Before they left, the ghost war had gotten so bad and the rumors of Dark being resurrected were going around. Amity attacks were at an all time high, people in their school were being killed just because Danny went there. He realized he had to choose between Fenton or Phantom and he chose to protect the world. He abandoned his human identity and went off to fight in war. Tried to convince Sam and Tucker to stay but they followed him through hell and back. Because Danny spends so much time as Phantom, Fenton is severely neglected. His long hair is cool and floaty as Phantom but is unkempt and stringy, hanging in his face as Fenton. He’s wan and underweight and looks like a walking corpse. He knows his human half will give out soon if he doesn’t give it more attention but he just can’t there’s too much to do, too many people to save.
It would end with Danny being outed to the town, not the world, just the town. Jack and Maddie need to recon with the fact that their boy DID leave of his own choice but only because their failure to protect him (from both the portal and ghosts) made him feel he had to take all this responsibility on his shoulders. Danny also has to recognize that he (and Sam/Tuck) can’t do all this on their own and they can trust and rely on the people around him. Phantom is crowned King but he decides Amity will be his base. The trio eat more, sleep some, catches up on school all the while continuing their duties as King and court. The ghosts also see that Phantom’s humanity isn’t a weakness but a strength and will bring peace to the Earth/Zone so they also take some of the burdens off his shoulder.
Basically I load up heavily with angst at the beginning and end with all the love and comfort imaginable. I just can’t fucking figure out the middle and my motivation will not let me write this shit out. But I can’t let this AU die bc it fucking keeps me up at night.
#behind me dips eternity#god I want to write this but its just not going#Ive been trying for over a month#I cant finish the outline#I've only gotten a paragraph into actually typing#but there are so many vivid images from this fic that live rent free in my head#was lowkey thinking of comissioning an artist to depict Danny bc I've tried and its not coming out right and it drives me INSANE#bc this world is very vivid to me#i love it even if it hurts me#anyway here's wonderwall
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Hey There, Roomie
— After being set up on a bad date with Ushijima, he insists on walking you to your doorstep. Not wanting him to know where you live, you lead him to Iwaizumi’s apartment and pretend Iwaizumi is your roommate.
pairing: iwaizumi hajime x reader word count: 4.0k genre: college/university au, fluff warnings: mentions of drinking, language, secondhand embarrassment, suggestive comments at the end, oikawa is meddlesome, awkward but cute confessions™!!
a/n: ur bad date is with ushiwaka ok i’m sorry he’s a nice guy but i had to make it someone HDJSJS,, also this is based on real life events except my friend who lived in an apartment near me isn’t cute like iwa-chan :( LMAOOO i hope u enjoy reading!!! xx sof
「 hq masterlist 」
“I assure you, you don’t have to walk me to my apartment.”
“It’s not a bother. I insist.”
“No, it’s fine.” Although you tried to keep a smile on your face, you were certain it looked more like you were baring your teeth at him. “Really. You don’t have to do that.”
Ushijima shrugged. “I told you, it’s no big deal.”
Your grin turned into a grimace as you stepped outside the car and headed towards your apartment complex. You managed to grit out, “Great. Thanks.”
A friend from your class had told you they had a friend of a friend who saw an Instagram post of you and thought you were cute. After they showed you a picture of him, you said the same. Little did you know it would lead to a mess of a date set up by said friend.
The date was at a karaage chicken place and it was filled with the most uncomfortable silences you had sat through since office hours with a professor who you were sure hated you. Ushijima was nice enough and it wasn’t the worst date ever, but the two of you just did not click. You figured it was partly your fault for agreeing to meet with him despite not having a single clue about his interests and never having talked to him once, but it was too late to undo it now.
He was a gentleman, at least. Offered to pay, held your seat out for you, drove you to your apartment complex, and, now, was trying to walk you to your doorstep.
The thing was, you did not want him to know where you lived.
You didn’t get red flags or feel threatened by any means, but having a guy you went on one uncomfortable date with know your exact address wasn’t really something that sat well with you. You’ve heard enough college horror stories to be wary. But, you didn’t have the heart to tell him explicitly not to walk you home… So the only solution?
Head to your friend’s apartment in the same complex instead.
“Do you know where you’re going?” asked Ushijima, examining you as your eyes darted around from building to building.
You’d been to Iwaizumi’s apartment before, but that didn’t stop you from looking lost and confused in this maze of houses. And it didn’t help to have Ushijima’s semi-condescending gaze on you the whole time. The worst part was, you were almost certain he didn’t even mean to be condescending— He just was. To you, at least. It definitely rubbed you the wrong way during the date.
“Yeah,” you laughed, walking past your apartment, “of course I know where my own apartment is.”
Iwaizumi’s place was just a few buildings north of yours, which you were quick to remember after catching sight of your place. You briefly wondered if he would be home on a Friday night, but quickly decided it wasn’t important. It’s not like you would be entering his house anyway. In fact, if all went well, he might never even know you were outside his apartment to begin with.
The plan was to have Ushijima drop you off at the doorstep (since he so unwaveringly insisted that he had to and it was no trouble for him to do so), tell him goodbye, fumble with your bag to “look for your keys” as he walked off, then—when he was out of sight—dash to your apartment and lock yourself in your bedroom for the remainder of the night.
A foolproof plan.
“Well, we’re here!” you chirped, standing outside Iwaizumi’s door labeled 237E. You whirled around to face Ushijima. “Thanks for walking me. See you around!”
“Of course.” He nodded but made no move to leave.
Your smile wavered. Was he waiting for you to enter your house safely? If he didn’t seem so innocent, it would’ve been incredibly creepy.
“Err,” you drawled, ruffling through your bag. “I’m just finding my keys. You can leave now; I don’t want to keep you any longer!”
“It’s not a problem.”
Your right eye twitched. What did he think could possibly happen in the time it took you to unlock your door and enter? While it was sweet—in a very suffocating way—it wasn’t what you wanted. After the bad date that was disappointing for the both of you, you expected him to eat his food and dip. Not see you all the way into your house despite the fact that, deep down, he’d much rather be in his own home. It was domineeringly kind.
Didn’t he understand how stressful this could be for someone? His obliviousness was overbearing, but you supposed you couldn’t blame Ushijima when you didn’t verbalize your discomfort to him.
“Everything okay?” he asked for what felt like the fifth time that night.
You chuckled nervously. “I guess I…can’t find my keys?” Looking at him sheepishly, you scratched the back of your head. “But, my roommates will probably be home soon! Or, they might be here now. I’ll just ring the doorbell when you leave!”
Ushijima blinked. “Why not ring the doorbell now?”
“R-Right,” you stammered, unsure whether you wanted to rip your hair out or cry in frustration. Maybe both would be good. “That’s smart. I can do that.”
He looked at you expectantly.
You winced, bringing your pointer finger to the white button of the doorbell. Before you even had the time to gather the courage to press it, the door swung open suddenly, startling you enough to let out a small yelp.
“Ah—! Iwaizumi!” you cried, eyes wide as you stared face to face with your very confused-looking friend. He glanced between you and Ushijima with a questioning expression, but you rambled on before he could say anything. “Hey there, roomie!” You batted your lashes, pleading with him to play along. “I forgot my keys again.”
Iwaizumi’s face displayed a look of pure confusion and you were certain he must never have gotten any acting awards when he was younger. His expression became even more puzzled when you wiggled your way inside the door, standing snugly next to his side.
After an awkward silence, you continued again, “Well, thanks for walking me Ushijima-san! And thank you for the date. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
If he noticed anything suspicious going on, he didn’t show it. Instead he simply nodded and wished you a goodnight.
Yup, there was definitely no chance of Ushijima wanting to ask you out on a second date. Not that you were complaining.
You shut the door—the door to an apartment that wasn’t even your own, mind you—and let out a sigh of relief. With your eyes closed and your back resting against the wall, you momentarily forgot you were standing in the entrance of Iwaizumi’s living room. That was, until you started feeling his heavy gaze on you.
Gulping at the intensity, you cracked your right eye open ever so slightly. “Yes?” you asked innocently.
“Yes?” repeated Iwaizumi incredulously, voice raised in exasperation. “You want to explain what just happened here?”
You had a sudden interest in your shoes as you shuffled in place. Iwaizumi was your friend and someone you considered yourself semi-close to— Comfortable enough to hang out with regularly and talk with almost every day, but not someone that you confided in with no qualms. And definitely not someone close enough for it to be normal to show up at his place unannounced. You were much closer to his best friend, Oikawa, but that was largely due to him finding out you had a big crush on Iwaizumi a number of months ago and feeling the need to tease you endlessly. Apparently, nothing brought people together like relentless goading.
“Another bad date,” you answered with a noncommittal tone. “A friend set me up with that guy you saw, Ushijima, and the date was so awkward.”
He folded his arms across his chest, pulling his white t-shirt snug around his biceps. You tried not to let your eyes bug out of their sockets at the sight. “And yet you let him bring you home?”
“I couldn’t say no! I tried dropping hints but he just didn’t get it.” You looked up, a sheepish half-smile on your face. “But I was smart enough not to bring him to my apartment. Hence why I came here. Roomie.”
Iwaizumi let out an exasperated half-chuckle, half-sigh as he motioned for you to come further inside. You slipped off your shoes at the doorway and followed him into the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to him. He rested his arm against the headrest of the sofa and you were consciously aware of his hand mere inches behind your head.
“Are your other housemates here?” you asked, curious as to why there wasn’t the usual amount of chatter and rage gaming from inside their respective rooms.
He shook his head. “They’re all back at their hometowns for the weekend.”
“And poor Iwa-chan is home all alone on a Friday night instead of out partying with friends?” you teased, reaching over to pat the top of his head mockingly.
Glaring at you for the nickname, he lightly swatted your hand away. “You’ve been spending too much time with Oikawa. His shittyness is rubbing off on you.” There was the slightest hint of amusement in his voice to let you know he was only joking. “And being home alone is better than being stuck with a bad date.”
“Ouch,” you cried, crossing one leg over the other and sticking your tongue out at him. “Yeah, sure, I would rather have been curled up in my bed than go on that date— But you didn’t have to call me out like that.” You pouted. “At least I got free food, I guess.”
He rolled his eyes with a snort. “If you were uncomfortable, you could’ve called me to come pick you up.”
Despite his gruff voice, there was a look of concern on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and the corners of his mouth were downturned. Iwaizumi’s offer made you feel warm in the stomach, even if you were sure he was just saying it out of courtesy.
“Or better yet,” he continued in a murmur, “don’t let your friends set you up on dates with guys you barely know, dumbass.”
“Hey! Aren’t you and Oikawa the ones always telling me I need to go out and date more in the first place?” you said, huffing at his insult.
They told you your college years were your prime dating years and you might regret not going out with a variety of people now. When else would you have the free time and the patience to date, anyway? That was part of the reason you agreed to blind dates and set ups, after all. If Iwaizumi was insisting you date around, that most certainly meant he didn’t reciprocate your feelings for him. Meaning, you had to get over him somehow before the hurt could kick in, even if that somehow included less than ideal fraternization.
“I never said that,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Why would I tell you to go on dates with other people? It was just Oikawa who said you should.”
You blinked in confusion. “But you were there and you nodded in agreement.”
He shifted his body to get a better look at you, a scowl on his face. “I did not. You were drunk and you probably thought my head was moving when it wasn’t.”
“Well, you were drunk too! Maybe your head was moving and you just didn’t know.” The lines between his forehead deepened and you laughed, unable to stop yourself from tapping the wrinkles with your ring finger. “Don’t think too hard; you might hurt your brain.”
“You really have been spending too much time with Shittykawa,” he said with a defeated sigh. “But whatever you think I said back then, it’s probably not what I meant. You shouldn’t date anyone unless you want to.”
The thing was, you did want to date someone. Iwaizumi. You were just under the impression he didn’t want to date you.
You shrugged. “What about you? Have you been dating people you don’t want to?”
He shook his head. “No. I haven’t dated anyone recently,” he admitted, averting his gaze from you for the first time that night. “I actually...am interested in someone, though.”
Your stomach dropped. Oh.
“But I don’t think they like me.”
Trying not to show him the crestfallen expression on your face, you looked down at your lap. You had been mentally preparing yourself to accept that Iwaizumi didn’t have a crush on you like you had on him—you were ready to face the harsh reality—but you were not expecting him to tell you he liked someone else on top of that. That was just a double blow to your gut.
You forced out a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound too strained. “That’s silly. Of course they like you.”
“I didn’t even tell you who it was.”
“Don’t need to,” you said diffidently, fingers toying with a loose thread on the blue sofa. “I already know. There’s no way someone wouldn’t like you back.”
Iwaizumi snorted disdainfully. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Them going on dates with other people and telling me about them after seems to be a solid indicator that they don’t.”
You froze, letting go of the string you accidentally pulled from the couch. Now, you wouldn’t say you were an overly optimistic person, but you still couldn’t help but think the situation he described was oddly familiar to yours. There was a large chance he was referring to someone else, but with the way you felt his smoldering gaze on your body, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could be talking about you.
“Maybe they think you don’t like them so they’re going on those dates to get rid of their crush on you— But only because they thought you told them to do so! And, honestly, the dates probably aren’t helping at all on getting rid of the crush; it just makes it get even bigger and bigger as they realize they can’t like anyone the same way they like you and now they don’t know what to do,” you babbled, unable to stop the word vomit.
After processing the words that you had just uttered, you slapped your hands over your mouth to shut yourself up. That was a little more than you had originally wanted to say… Okay, a lot more. You winced. You wanted to subtly hint that you were talking about yourself, not be so obvious as to yell it out with a megaphone and have a blinking billboard pointing your way.
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
You could only hope Iwaizumi was oblivious enough to let this whole thing go and assume that you were only speaking hypothetically. But he was smarter than that. You knew it. He may be a little dense when it came to romance, but even he couldn’t be dumb enough to misunderstand your conspicuous slip up.
Your stomach churned as you awaited his response.
“So,” he spoke slowly, keeping his cautious regard on you, “Oikawa was right?”
You blinked. That wasn’t the response you were expecting. But things just didn’t seem to go as planned today, you supposed. “What do you mean?”
“You do like me, then?”
“W-What? When did…” You gaped, trailing off as your throat tightened. “He told you that?”
“A month ago, he told me he thought you might like me,” Iwaizumi admitted, a rosy red darkening the apples of his cheeks. “But that was before you started going on those crazy dates, so I figured he was wrong.”
A cry of indignation escaped your lips as you heard the news. “Seriously?”
He nodded.
“No way!” you sputtered in disbelief. “He found out I liked you months ago— At the beginning of the school year! And then last month, Oikawa told me I should to get over you by going on a bunch of dates.”
Your brows were furrowed and arms folded as you glared into the sky, wishing Oikawa were there so you could yell at him for making a fool of you. Iwaizumi caught your gaze with a disgruntled look of his own.
“What on earth?” you groaned, burying your face in your palms.
“I’ll kick his ass the next time I see him,” Iwaizumi vowed.
“Please,” you muttered, a thousand thoughts racing through your mind.
Oikawa knew you had a crush on Iwaizumi. Why would he tell him behind your back? And was Iwaizumi’s response negative? Is that why Oikawa told you to date to get over him? Trying to understand Oikawa’s thought process was enough to almost give you a headache.
“But, wait,” said Iwaizumi quietly, effectively interrupting your train of thoughts. “Months?”
You peeked at him through the cracks between your fingers. “Huh?”
“You said you liked me for months now? Since the start of this school year?”
The heat rose to your cheeks in embarrassment. “T-That’s not the point—!”
“Because I’ve liked you for a few months now too,” he interrupted before you could deny anything. Your eyes shot open as you stared straight at Iwaizumi, just now noticing the serious expression on his face.
Was this a confession?
“Ever since that night we ditched our friends to stay inside and watch Godzilla instead of going to the party.” He shared a small, slightly sheepish smile with you as he recalled the memory.
In the beginning of the year before classes had started but everyone had already moved into their respective apartments, Oikawa decided everyday of the week leading up to the first day of school would be a good day to get shit-faced drunk. It was fun for the first three days, but by day four you were getting worn out, and by day five, just the thought of consuming one more jello shot made you shudder.
So when Iwaizumi—who you had then only recently realized you had a crush on—suggested you two sneak away to his empty apartment and watch some movies instead, you were more than happy to oblige.
“I thought you looked...cute that night,” Iwaizumi managed, his voice gruff and tentative. “It was funny how you were scared by the movies even though it was hardly even horror.” He snorted at the recollection, hints of a grin playing on his face. “And I may have realized then that I had already started liking you.”
You bit the inside of your lip to keep your face from splitting into a beam. Your eyes were wide open, almost as if you were in a daze and were only dreaming the events of this night had happened. Iwaizumi shoved his hands in his sweatpants’ pockets, ducking his head to hide his delight at this situation.
“You like me too?” you asked breathlessly. There was still a tone of disbelief in your voice.
He nodded. “Have for a while now. But I didn’t tell Oikawa about it until last month. And that’s when he said he thought you liked me back.”
At his words, you visibly relaxed. So Oikawa didn’t blab about your crush on his best friend— Though, in all honesty, maybe if he had, you could’ve had a relationship with him sooner. You leaned your head back against the headrest of the couch with a sigh. “Then if he knew you liked me, why did he tell me to date other people that night we were all out drinking together?”
“To piss me the fuck off.”
You laughed in surprise, not expecting Iwaizumi to sound so furious.
“He probably wanted to get me to disagree with him, that dumbass,” he hissed, a scowl forming on his face. Even with his nose scrunched and forehead crinkled, you thought Iwaizumi was as handsome as ever.
“Maybe Oikawa thought you wouldn’t confess without his help so he wanted to push your buttons and make you jealous by seeing me date other people,” you said, chuckling at the audacity of this situation.
Iwaizumi apparently didn’t share your amusement, since his scowl deepened. “I would’ve confessed without his unwanted help,” he grunted. But you knew he wasn’t too annoyed by his best friend. Oikawa never had any ill-intentions towards the two of you, and you both were aware of that. “I was a little jealous, though,” he admitted with flushed cheeks. “And I may have gotten a bit happier every time you told me afterwards that you didn’t like your date—especially tonight.”
You smiled shyly at him, only mildly embarrassed by the routine you two had picked up. Go on a date (usually prompted by Oikawa), wish your date was Iwaizumi the whole time, go home, message Iwaizumi about your bad date, repeat. But in today’s case, you went to him in person instead of texting.
“But I was dreading that one night you’d message saying your date went well,” he said, hands balled up into fists and gaze downcast. “Or worse— Not message that night at all.”
Your expression turned somber as you realized that while you were casually dating around to try to get over Iwaizumi, he was there watching you go out with other people. A feeling of guilt spread through you as you bowed your head slightly, wishing you had taken the chance to tell him your feelings instead of trying to toss them aside.
“Iwaizumi, I’m so sorry,” you said. “I didn’t even think about how it could be affecting you.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He placed his closed hand on the top of your head, making you look up at him. He nodded once. “You didn’t know. And Assikawa was the one pushing you to go on dates you didn’t want,” he said wryly, though his tone was more amused than bitter. “But maybe now you don’t have to keep going on those bad dates anymore.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words. Was he offering—?
“Y’know,” he said, “if you… If we…”
“Went on a date?” you completed, hesitant but hopeful. “With each other, I mean.”
“Yes. With each other.” He held his breath. “What do you think?”
After a beat of silence, your face split into a grin. You practically jumped off the couch in excitement, bouncing towards Iwaizumi to tackle him into a hug. He let out a surprised grunt, but caught you in his arms nonetheless.
“I think you could’ve saved me loads of wasted nights if you had asked a month earlier!” you laughed, burrowing your face into his chest— His very strong, very muscular chest that had no business being this comfortable. “To think all this time I could’ve been going on dates with you instead of random people I end up blocking a day after?”
His right hand rested between your shoulder blades while his left was lightly cupping the back of your head. He chuckled and you felt the vibrations through his thin t-shirt.
“We’ll have plenty of time to make up for it now,” he said, voice warm and inviting. “We can catch up on dates this whole weekend. Or just rewatch all of Godzilla again.”
“That sounds like the perfect date weekend.” The grin on your face never left as you stayed tangled in his arms. “And your roommates aren’t back until Monday, hmm?”
He titled his head down at you to see your expression, the corner of his mouth quirked upward as he smirked. “Yup. They’ll be gone all weekend.”
You two exchanged knowing looks, causing you to wiggle your eyebrows suggestively and make him laugh. His ears turned red and when you pointed it out he got even redder. You smiled at each other as you held him even tighter.
It didn’t matter what you two would be doing this weekend. All you cared about was getting to spend more time with Iwaizumi.
“Then we most definitely have a lot of catching up to do.”
#MY FIRST IWA FIC AND IT'S SAFE TO SAY I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART#iwaizumi hajime#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyu x reader#hq x reader#hq!! x reader#iwaizumi x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyu fanfiction#haikyu imagines#hajime iwaizumi x reader#hajime x reader#iwa-chan#haikyuu fluff#iwaizumi imagines#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you
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Whumptober 2022 No. 3 - Impaled
2002
"I bet you really wonder how I ended up here."
"I don't." Logan stared at the half-empty bottle of Kree-Ale in his hand, wondering if maybe four of these were too much even on his robust system and he was starting to hallucinate …
But no. He was pretty sure that was indeed some dude in a red and black costume splayed in his own blood on the Institute's roof where Logan had meant to spend the rest of the evening drinking and passing out in peace. Guy's spine was neatly broken in two places by the looks of it, though the main reason why their weird visitor hadn't got up yet was most probably the fact that he was impaled on a head-high flagpole by the roof's edge, right through his stomach. That was a bitch even for someone with a healing factor easily matching – created from, technically – Logan's own. "I'll tell you all about it, of course, because I'm sure, you want to know why I'm here …" Wade waved a slightly unsteady hand in his face and groaned a wet cough through his mask that splattered the roof's white marble tiles in another puddle of red, but made no move to try and free himself from his unfortunate predicament for the moment.
"I really, really don't." Jesus, the only thing Logan needed even less than a house of full-time depressed workmates at the first week of the semester and his team losing the first game of the season 6-4 was some nutcase from his past who stubbornly refused to take the hint that Logan wanted shit to do with it anymore.
Wade continued as if he hadn't even heard him, and the worst thing with that guy was: You never could be sure that wasn't actually the case. "I planned to hijack a plane and land here like those far cooler guys you're friends with, the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. and all. But then I remembered I don't actually have a license and I really suck at landings and also you got all those automatic guns on your roof. And if you blew me to pieces, that takes days for me to come back from, and then I couldn't tell you."
"Still not interested, Wade." Too. many. words. After being forced to sacrifice his wife three times in a row to save the goddamn universe already, what had he possibly done in the part of his life he couldn’t remember to deserve that guy? Logan considered for a moment cutting Wade down just to throw him off the roof; that would definitely have shut him up for an hour, and he would become someone else's problem. Sadly, he was still living in a house full of short stuffs, and nothing Wade did was exactly PG-rated, especially not dying and healing.
"So I kind of just hopped on the next plane passing by Westchester, and when you guys were on the radar, I just jumped off, and that was pretty cool except …" Wade made an enthusiastic gesture of someone diving headfirst into concrete but moaned out in pain then again and writhed on that cruel, thick restrained stabbed through his chest, holding him down. Which, thinking about it, was a sufficing metaphor for his whole fucked up existence.
Logan's own, too, if he'd been drunk enough to admit it. "Let me guess, you forgot the parachute." Because he was apparently at least buzzed enough to get sentimental, he finally extended his claws to cut the pole right above Wade's stomach, unceremoniously dropping it on the roof, hopefully loud enough for the rest of his team to finally get their asses here and deal with this nutcase so Logan could fuck off.
"No, no, I have it." Wade proudly pointed at the black backpack he was lying on that might have cushioned his fall at least a little, and winced when Logan roughly pulled him off the last metal shredding his guts, rolling his eyes. "But I was afraid you guys would shoot me out of the sky. Precaution and all, you know? I mean, after Stryker attacking that house back then, who would blame you …" Coughing more blood through his mask, he crouched there on the ground for a moment, at least for a while hopefully not able to fuck anything up, hand pressed to the huge tear in his costume, his whole body twitching and shaking as he was waiting, with his breath going short and chopped, for his powers to do what they should.
A sight Logan knew too well to not reluctantly tap the guy's shoulder with his bottle instead of punching his jaw in two for bringing up a certain someone from their past again, in spite of Logan telling him dozens of times not to. He huffed when Wade tilted his head in disbelief. "One sip. Stuff's expensive."
"Yeah, yeah, I know! Alien stuff and all. U.G.E.R. import. You guys always get the best shit out there." Wade somehow got his hand on the bottle in spite of its bad shaking and for once showed something like manners by at least not emptying half of what was left of the Ale in one go. The procedure turned out to be pretty useless anyway as most of the booze trickled straight back out of the hole in his body before it could spread its numbing effects. "Damn."
"Is there any point in you spreading your guts on our roof, Wade?" Logan was getting increasingly tired of figuring that out on his own.
And that, of course, had been Wade's plan all along. If the guy hadn't been such a goddamn pain in the ass, Logan would have found it fascinating how he always got what he wanted, somehow.
"Because if there isn't, you're gonna spend the rest of the night licking it spotless, just so we're clear. I will not deal with Summers complaining about that cleaning bill for a week for you."
"If you want to feel my tongue in action, Wolvie, I can just take you home with me. My girl hasn't been able to shut up about wanting to be in that sandwich for … Oh, okay." Wade ducked his head away from the claw tip tapping his Adam's apple before he could put any more nightmares in Logan's head. "What did I want to …? Yeah, right. So, I dropped on your house, and first I thought we'd all be fucked now because damn, what the fuck do you guys even need a fucking flag for? But, lucky for all of us, I can always rely on my good ol' Weapon X buddy to drink his ass off at this time of the day, so …"
"We're not buddies." Logan's headache was growing worse by the second. Maybe not enough Ale yet after all.
"Uh-uh." Wade wriggled a finger back in his face, and it took all of Logan's willpower not to bite it off. "If we're not, why would I come all the way here then to tell you that Weapon X has three jets on the way and wants to raze this whole place to the ground just to get you back?"
Logan fought his first instinct to drop his damn bottle to the ground immediately and emptied it instead because he had a funny feeling, he could use all the numbing against a whole lot of pain in a couple of minutes. While he was on it, he sent off the emergency call to his teammates on his watch with his free hand. His next instinct would have been to cut Wade's head off just for good measure, because would it hurt the asshole, for once cutting right to the chase when there was a whole school of mutants at stake? But then he just turned away with a tired headshake and hurried toward the door inside. Wade was Wade, and though he couldn't remember a lot of it, still, Logan should know best what kind of experiments and torture had left that guy's head in the state it was. And apparently, the guys who had done this to both of them still didn’t have enough. That was a time to work together, much as he hated it, not to fight. "You're not getting a suit."
"Psht, why would I want one? I'm good." Wade beat his fist against his shredded clothing and hissed because though the worst of wounds had closed, in there, things probably weren't quite back put together the way they should. "This is so exciting! It's epic! Finally, the legendary team of X-Men and my humble ol' self are going to team up in a final stand against their archenemies …"
"Nothing legendary about us since Ontario Lake, Wilson." Logan impatiently punched the button of the elevator to get to the changing rooms as quickly as possible while the first high alert finally started to sound through the house.
The well-known clanking and rumbling of security doors closing, and the patter of naked small feet on their way to the bunker sounded through the lower stories just seconds later. Summers apparently had finally bothered to check the radar.
Half a minute too late for Logan's taste, but they could talk about that again when they got those assholes off their backyard. Shouldn't take long at least. "And those are overpaid psycho mercs at best. The last archenemy I had I've gutted at Alkali Lake. Which I do begin to regret more every day because since then, for some reason, I need to deal with your chatty ass every few months."
"Aw, but you love me, Wolvie." Wade had the nerve to throw his arms around him but quickly backed away again with a pained wince when a steeled fist hit him right in that spot on his middle that was still trying to fully heal. "Tell ya what, we get rid of these assholes tonight, and then we're gonna chase down the last of them together. You, me, couple of more guys I found who were tortured and enhanced by them? They can't wait to meet you, by the way. What do you say, road trip up to Canada? How does that sound?"
"Like I'd rather cut my organs out with a spoon one by one." Where was that damn elevator when you needed it?
"Pretty sure they did that when they had you in their lab. At least twice," Wade informed him gleefully, with an amicable dig in his side that left him with at least one more bruise. "Or maybe more. Those were just the times they made me watch. Wouldn't you like to get back at them, Wolvie? Make sure they don't get their hands on anyone else and all? Isn't that what you guys do?"
Logan leaned back against the wall with an exasperated sigh because from the sounds of it, Hank was evacuating some of the smaller kids through that elevator, entirely ignoring all those lists and procedures Summers had come up with for such emergencies, and that was another headache he would have to deal with in a couple of hours. For now, he would have been content enough with just a goddamn second of silence before bathing in blood once more. "Can't speak for the others, Wade, but what I am doing is keeping the only thing alive I have left since some psycho alien bitch took the woman I loved from me. So you're gonna have to look for someone else to shoot your little slasher movie with."
"Shoot, I knew I forgot to tell you something." That actually sounded … sincere for once. Almost worried. And Wade ducked his head as a precaution actually, expecting another claw to stab a new hole through his body the moment the last had closed.
Something was far more wrong than a desperate, weak air attack that with two weather witches in the house would probably be over in less than five minutes anyway. "Wade?"
"Yeah … You see, in those files I got a peek of while I sucked some higher-up last week? Wouldn't recommend, by the way, horrible cologne, and they don't even scream nicely when you cut their … Ouch! Anyway, I don't think they just want you back in, they want your kid too. Powerful mutation, possible Phoenix carrier and all? So …" Wade shrugged his shoulders a little more, his jaw working under his mask. It was fascinating how that lunatic was an open book in spite of having his whole face covered most of the time. He wasn't lying.
Logan retracted his claws back into his arms before they could leave a few nasty cuts on the dark wood paneling on the walls, mostly because he had no fucking time for another tiring discussion with Summers about unnecessary renovation expenses. He had a trip to plan, once that ridiculous little episode tonight was over. "I'm driving."
"Perfectly fine, then I get to pick the music," Wade assured him enthusiastically, following him into the elevator, at last, bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation.
This was not gonna be a nightmare, it would be a fucking bad LSD trip. "No music. No hookers, no drugs, no robberies." Jesus, he was beginning to sound like Summers. Maybe getting out of here for a few weeks wasn't even a half-bad idea. Logan could only hope that he would come back with at least somehow of his own sanity intact after spending more than ten minutes at a stretch with this happy asshole. "And we're still not friends."
"Sure thing, Wolvie." Wade just chuckled and sprinted ahead as soon as the doors were only half open, throwing himself with all his weight against Summers in a bear hug, almost knocking him to the ground. "It's the boss man himself! I mean, of course, it is, it's your house now, right, with ol' baldie gone. He really bit it? Or did he just tell everyone he did and fuck off to his hot alien girlfriend to space? How's your little wifey doing? You need to …"
In spite of the not exactly amusing situation and that painful anxiety simmering in his stomach about another possible threat in the air for one of his family members, Logan found himself grinning when the doors of the changing room closed behind him after he'd caught a last glance at Scott's decidedly unamused face. Fine, admittedly, there were some things not entirely horrible about a visit from Deadpool.
*******************************************************************************
@whumptober | @whumptober-archive
#no.3#Impaled#x men#fic#everything after x2 didn't happen sue me#x men original timeline movies#deadpool#stormys fanfics#logan howlett#wolverine#wade wilson#this is gory but i mean#*waves at protas#long post#whumptober2022#whumptober 2022
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"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)
My gif 😉
Requested: Yes
Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.
Warnings: Cursing
Category: Fluff
Word count: 4,5K
A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!
Masterlist
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.
That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.
- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.
- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.
He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.
- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.
- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.
- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"
- "Hey. I'm..."
- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.
- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.
- "Yeah."
- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?
- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"
- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.
- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.
- "Who are you guys talking about?"
Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.
- "No one"- I lied and looked away.
- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.
- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."
- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."
- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.
- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.
- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."
Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.
- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."
I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.
- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.
- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.
- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."
- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.
- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.
- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.
- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.
- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.
- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.
- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.
- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.
- "I didn't want to think of that!"
- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."
- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."
- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."
I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.
- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."
- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.
- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."
- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.
- "That's how good it was."
The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.
- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."
- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.
- "Why not?"
- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.
- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.
- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"
- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."
His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.
He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?
Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.
- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.
- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.
- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."
- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."
And Spencer just snorted at my words.
- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.
- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.
- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."
- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."
I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.
But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.
I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.
- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.
- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.
- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.
- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"
- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."
- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.
- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.
Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.
I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?
I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.
I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.
Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.
But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.
Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.
I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.
But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.
It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.
- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.
- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.
- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"
I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.
- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.
- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.
- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."
Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.
- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.
- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.
- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"
- "I didn't mean to."
- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."
I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.
- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.
- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.
- "I was wrong..."
- "Why did you do it?"
I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.
But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.
- "I did it because I am in love with you."
Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.
- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.
- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."
There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.
I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.
Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.
I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.
My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.
- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.
- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."
- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.
- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.
- "Me too."
That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.
But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.
- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."
- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.
- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.
- "I'm so sorry..."
But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.
I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.
- "Come here."
I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.
I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.
It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.
- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.
- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.
- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.
- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.
- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.
- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.
- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.
- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.
- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.
- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.
- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.
- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.
- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.
- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."
- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."
- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.
- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.
- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.
- "You are adorable when you ramble."
- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled
- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.
- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."
- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."
- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.
- "Anything for you."
**
Spencer taglist
@calm-and-doctor
General Taglist
@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego
#Spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#criminal minds#babymetaldoll writes#babymetaldoll edits#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic
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BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.
Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ・◡・) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.
so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that
good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler
bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one
good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao
bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god
(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.
but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)
anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today
huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on
look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months
anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol
yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all
still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol
(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)
anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol
aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting
buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy
wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on
damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo
I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol
uh oh but wait
um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do
holy shit
so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol
and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young
anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this
LMAO
someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol
(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)
anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about
oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man
now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse
OH MY GOD
YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO
lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art
anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces
lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off
he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today
on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose
YESSSSSSS
OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on
YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU
lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking
but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it
also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad
YESSSSSSSSSSS
DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO
AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH
p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f
UCK
NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE
fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god
WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK
WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck
-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT
bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now
my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them
how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what
(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)
Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment
on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao
anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that
and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob
#bnha 315#overhaul#chisaki kai#lady nagant#midoriya izuku#all for one#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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