#except even seeing her 3x a week i STILL have so much to talk about

[soggypotatoes]

whenever i remember that high school as a time period existed (or school at all really) i get this awful visceral tug in my gut, like... this sick feeling... i don’t think about it at all anymore unless i’m reminded of something... thankfully! school was such a mountainous draining terrible thing, this huge weight that engulfed everything in my life and it’s so weird to me that it’s just gone now, so far behind me that i don’t even think about it. so so so so so so weird. but it obviously still inhabits a very deep part of me, and whenever i’m reminded of those years... damn. that shit was so traumatic, i’m 26 and still unable to function bc of what went on there :’)

[mbrainspaz]

I had to work sunrise to sunset this christmas so I guess we're doing a christmas work rant. The young employee who's always tried to bully me high school style has been trying not so subtly to get rid of me, right? Well anyway, I can't tell if she's lying about the corporate boss plotting to give me the boot or just trying to scare me into leaving. If it's the latter, joke's on her because it's next to impossible getting hired anywhere else as a noticeably neurodivergent 'too old to still be single' queer woman? whatever guy with 3 dogs & a senior horse. Doesn't matter that I still don't have any tattoos.

The work 'evaluation' meeting we had recently seemed to go well with the boss even admitting that she'd short-staffed the business for the hardest part of the year and caused me to have problems. Corporate types are all snakes though. I don't even trust her as far as I could throw her, which is probably only 1 or 2 feet because a 5 gallon bucket of water is about the limit of what I can toss without messing up my back.

I was just thinking back to the clash we had over the summer. I'd been picking up the slack for months. Doing 50 hours a week of ranch work on average, and not even logging all of it. My one coworker (the 'manager') was slacking off and taking tons of vacations. I was tired all the time. I had no life outside of work. I even put my 3x more profitable illustration work on hold. And still when I asked to be paid for 2 hours too many the boss turned on me like grandpa Bilbo seeing the ring. She actually accused me of trying to "steal" from the company. Because I was requesting too much overtime in order to keep her damn business running somewhat smoothly in a 3 month 100+ degree heatwave.

After that I had a long talk with my corporate CEO uncle, who loves talking about Business. He said it was my mistake all along. That was hard to take but I can admit I messed up. I had to reevaluate my whole life from that point. Again.

When you're raised with that puritanical 50's martyr-like work ethic you're set up for failure. "Nobody wants to work anymore"? I want to work! I want to work harder than anyone will pay me to work. And like a fool I did anyway, and I got burned for it. Again.

Sometimes I really can't believe where I am now. Like true, I am insane by some metrics, but I still got a degree with honors, customers love me, I speak 2.5 languages, I have management experience, I've successfully run a whole boarding stable on my own, and my personal hobby that I do for FUN is finding the most efficient way to do the most tasks possible. Time blindness who? I don't need to see that bitch, I know exactly how long it takes me to walk across the room. And here I still am getting paid 2k a month, stuck living behind a barn, with a boss who was deeply offended when I told her the 31 cent raise (gotta appreciate that extra penny) she gave me was the second lowest I'd ever gotten. The only lower one being the automatic $.25 raise I got for working at the roach infested college sandwich shop for 2 semesters over a decade ago.

But nah, it's a always been a me problem. I should've known better than to work harder than they were willing to pay me. Am I also about to get nerfed by corporate for not volunteering to do extra unpaid work now? Uh—YEH. Of course I am! Foolish of me to imagine there was any way to win this.

I just can't get over the fact that I was giving them so much value for the pennies they were paying and it still was barely enough to qualify for basic survival. The boss doesn't even see or understand a fraction of what I did for this business. At one point she haughtily tried to remind me that I was also getting 'free rent' and board for my horse, but it's like, 'yeah, and you're getting someone present at your business 24/7 and a worker who can better connect with boarders.' Don't act like you're doing me a favor. I'm not your charity case. I'd rather have an extra 2K a month and live offsite. Except I'd need another 3k a month to afford rent within 50 miles.

I'm just so angry at every hustle culture shill and out of touch boomer who's still out there lying—saying that all it takes is a 'can do' attitude and maybe a college degree.

Apart from the year I was too ill to work I've worked multiple grueling jobs, 40+ hours a week for my whole adult life, I've lived on eggs and bologna for most of it, and if I lose this job in January I'll be homeless. Again.

Make it make sense. Make the meritocracy they hallucinate exist for me for FIVE MINUTES. Just once.

I just want someone with money to see everything I can do and say, "you're cool, I think you deserve to live. Not only that, but here's enough money that you can afford to do something crazy-banana-town like some regular maintenance on your car."

What's worse, sometimes, is that I know if I just gave in and played the stock market and did the credit card schemes and maybe did a few other crimes and exploited some other poor saps, I could probably actually make it. I hate it so much.

I am the ghost of christmas future.

[fuck-customers]

i work at a local restaurant and my coworkers and i are all super friendly and sometimes even hang out outside of work but like. this one girl. we all fucking hate her and can't understand why she hasn't been fired. like let's go down the list ok. this is also vaguely chronological in order of things that started to bother me.

- she's tried to grab my dick twice, like on the first shift we worked together. didnt stop touching me until i snapped and was like "you know its actually quite possible to walk past people without touching them. your hands do not need to be on me." also has touched almost everyone.

- keeps calling my one coworker her girlfriend and touching her ass (who's like 12 years older than her and has been like "you're 18 and creepy this is not going to happen"). told her "tell [baby daddy] i said hi!!" at the end of a shift once too??

- has a boyfriend who shes ALWAYS texting, she will sneak off to the bathroom for 20+ mins at a time if its slow and i understand you're bored but you can't just leave your station unattended in a kitchen for 25%+ of your shift because we dont always have time to cover you. also her boyfriend has called the store before bc she didnt answer one of his texts back (bc she was actually working for once???) and has shown up at least 3x to talk to her.

- also just doesnt do her work when it IS busy. will insist on doing random parts of everyone else's work while also making everyone else do her work. we have the kitchen divided up like that for a reason stay in your fucking spot in your fucking lane so we can get shit made.

- has no call no showed more times than should be acceptable and has something come up every week that requires her taking time off on short notice. this is so common that if shes closing we usually have a backup closer scheduled. what is the point truly

- bullies almost everyone especially the less confrontational coworkers who will never say anything. i think she thinks she's being funny but she's just fucking rude. aside from the store manager, i have become the sole exception to her rule bc a) i shut down shit she tries to pull with coworkers i know won't stand up to her themselves and b) i dish it back out to her in the form of malicious compliance (see next bullet)

- always is trying to tell people how to do their jobs even tho she never fucking does hers lol. tries to tell people all the time what SHE would do even on shit shes never been trained for and even to managers?? im her equal but far more respected because I Do My Job At Work TM and when we close together, she tries to pressure me into doing all of my shit at least an hour early bc "haha i just wanna go home!! lol 🤪" even though it's a massive inconvenience to me and everyone to do everything as early as SHE wants it done. literally everyone does shit early (but by like 5-15 mins) when its slow but i will purposefully follow the closing list by the letter of the law which, so far, has been the only way anyone has been able to shut her down. (management both approves and thinks this is funny, she literally asks my coworkers to go help me because im """behind""" and they're all like "no hes fine" and she just sulks)

-always wants to get in everyones business. like when there are established friend groups at a new workplace i understand wanting to fit in and find your place but you don't know everyone's business, nor do you need to. you don't need to know peoples' relationship histories that other people only know because it was once current. you dont need to know what everyones talking about all the time. a conversation is not purposefully excluding you if its only meant for one other person and you're not even supposed to be in the breakroom but here you are texting your boyfriend and getting in my business!!

- will talk to EVERY customer for AGES when on register. customers hate it, your coworkers hate it. keep the line moving please im begging

- i was recently told by another coworker that she has been stealing too?? that person wont tell me what so i have no idea if its personal property or company property but if i catch her with her hands in my bag i am dragging her by her hair straight to the office and calling the owners my damn self.

ive been typing this out for an hour and i still feel like im missing something. i know all the managers want her gone i just dont understand why shes still here. we aren't understaffed anymore and she's not good enough at her job to warrant getting away with this much. next time i see some shit i am pulling the head manager into the office myself and asking why she's still here because this list is semi chronological and i literally dont understand how someone can get past step one.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x19: More Stuff Pointing to Beth’s Imminent Return

Morning Everyone! As you can see, these are just a few more odds and ends about 10x19 that I didn’t cover yesterday. It’s not so much details or not details as just things I didn’t get around to in my first post, which was already very long. So, in no particular order, here goes.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x19. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

First off, there were several Beth references that didn’t occur to me until I was watching the episode live.

Gabriel’s whole speech about how the bible is “still” important.

He gives Mays this rundown about how the word of God is still important and applicable. How it’s a beacon of light in an otherwise very dark world.

Now, I’m sure lots of people picked up on this as a Beth reference. Talk of the bible. Talk of light in the darkness. These are symbols that have definitely been used around her before. But what struck me upon rewatching it was the way he said it was “still” important. It can be directly linked to her “I still sing.” And if you analyze both conversations, both are about transcendence, rather than just surviving.

Mays fires his gun at the little office, and then only afterward, tells Gabriel Aaron is inside and asks, “do you think he made it?”

Guys, this is subtle, but this is a huge parallel of Beth. Think about it. Aaron being in the office could almost represent a tomb of some kind. He’s tied up (imprisonment). Mays shoots the gun (bullets). Then asks, “Do you think he made it?” When he goes to check, he says, “looks like he’s still breathing.” And then, when he brings Aaron out, he’s bleeding from a wound in the left side of his forehead. Exactly same place as where Beth was shot.

 I can’t believe it took me like 3x watching the episode to pick that up, lol.

Gabriel’s story about his mentor

I felt like this had to be important, but it was hard for me to say how. And even now, I don’t think I have it all pinned down, but it may not matter. This speech may actually be more about Gabriel and his character than anything else.

I did wonder if the mentor in his story could represent Rick. It doesn’t all fit in detail (Rick’s not the biggest people person out there, lol) but there was a time when Rick really didn’t like Gabriel and wouldn’t give him the time of day (understandably) but eventually Gabriel earned his trust and they did become friends. Even if I’m right that this represents Rick, I’m not sure what the point of having this speech here is. It’s probably the kind of thing I’ll have to return to.

As always, I wanted to relate it to Beth, but I wasn’t sure how. I did feel somewhat justified in looking for TD clues here, not only because the episode is so heavy in them, but because right before Gabriel starts relating the story about his mentor, he says, “I’m serious.” And there were a few small clues, such as talk of driving 80 mph (Beth’s been missing 8 years in the show). But that’s pretty small.

But the one big reference that got me kind of excited was the funeral reference. He talked about going to a funeral with his mentor. While there have obviously been other funerals, the one really big one we saw Gabriel preside over was Tyreese’s in 5x09. A huge Beth episode, where we actually saw the number 8 next to her. And we have to assume, if TF tried to bury Beth, that he would have presided there, too. We just haven’t seen that, yet.

But here’s what got me. Even though Gabriel says this was the funeral of the young man, he said he was a college kid. And while Beth never went to college that we know, in Still Daryl did accuse her of looking for hooch like some dumb college bitch.

So, between that and all the other callbacks and references in this episode, I do think this was a subtle reference to her and perhaps to her “funeral” that we never saw. I’m unsure why they’ve put it here or how it’s supposed to function for us, but I think that will become more clear as the story progresses.

TTD:

I’m not going to do a separate Talking Dead post this week, because there just wasn’t tons to point to in this episode. Basically, there were three things that jumped out at me.

1. Ross Marquand mentioned the three people exiled from Alexandria in S5. And it seemed like a really random reference to bring up. I’m not sure why he did. For one thing, it’s a callback to S5. But that thing about those three being exiled was never hugely resolved. I know a couple of them were meant to be the walkers Aaron and Maggie found in the sewer, but still. It feels unresolved to me, and him bringing them up randomly here felt significant.

2. The Golf Sequence. So, I mentioned the golf parallels in the episode yesterday, but apparently there was a much larger, extended golf sequence where Aaron and Gabriel put together a whole mini golf course, but it got cut from the episode for time. So, not a big deal. It’s just that there would have been MUCH larger golf parallels in this episode if they could have included them.

3. The writer talked about how, at the end of the episode, where we see Gabriel and Aaron heading toward he water tower, there’s a dark, ominous forest between them and the water tower, and anything might happen in there. So, it     sounds like this story with the two of them isn’t exactly over, and we’ll probably see another episode about the two of them in S11.

Alright, I said yesterday I’d talk about where this is going. It still sounds like one of these two might die, and you know I lean toward it being Gabriel. I did have a few people message me and point out that Aaron putting a gun to his head might foreshadow his death, and that’s a possibility. I can’t deny it. Honestly, I don’t follow the symbolism around either of these characters (except where it indicates Beth) closely enough to make an educated prediction here. But I do still lean toward it being Gabriel. Mostly because, as I’ve said before, he’s the Sirius character. And there’s one more thing that may indicate this.

The Bible Passage Gabriel Looks At:

I talked yesterday about how Gabriel opened one of the bibles and we could see the passage. It’s 1 Samuel: 1-21. Read the passage HERE.

Now, this passage basically talks about two things. This is where a new king needs to be crowned, and that king will eventually be David. First, the prophet (Samuel) goes to Bethlehem to offer up a sacrifice so the Lord will show him who is to be the new king.

Just the fact that we’re talking about a sacrifice, and it’s Gabriel reading the passage, screams death omen to me.

Also remember that both because of the cross she wore in the hallway at Grady, and because of Gabriel’s (yes, Gabriel’s) strange words to Sasha in 5x16 about “sacrificing one of your own,” Beth is often seen as a symbolic sacrifice of some kind. (I even think his white shirt in 5x16 could point toward him being a sacrifice, but that’s a whole other theory.)

Back to the bible reference. So the second thing that’s done here is that each of Jessie’s sons is brought before the prophet so he can tell which one the Lord has anointed to be king, but he doesn’t choose any of them, saying the Lord is telling him that the king is not among them. He asks if these are all of Jessie’s sons, to which they reply that the youngest (David) is not present.

Now, if you know anything of the bible, David does become king, but they didn’t think to bring him before the prophet here, because they just didn’t think he was “king” material. David was a shepherd. He was humble. He was a poet and a bard.

Yes, you read that right. David sang. He actually sang very beautifully. Tended to totally mesmerize the court with his singing.

Sound like that could be a Beth parallel to you?

In this passage, David is not crowned king, but he is anointed to be king one day. I also notice that the page Gabriel looks at says 1 Sam 16:21, which just means verse 21 is the last verse on that page. Verse 21 ends with David basically living by and learning from the current king, Saul.

Just reminds me of Rick declaring Beth the “new sheriff in town” and how we’ve always said she’ll be his protégé.

So, all I’m saying is that I think this passage suggests both a sacrifice of some kind, and the coming of a new “king” (read: sheriff) that has a lot of things in common with Beth. And since it’s Gabriel who opens the bible, it makes sense that he’ll be the one to die as or just before she arrives. Just saying.

Okay, that’s all I have for today. I’ll get to some Asks tomorrow.

[quietlyimplode]

Whumptober- Day 7 - Support 

Day 1 - waking up restrained // Day 2 - kidnapped // Day 3 - manhandled // Day 4 - caged// Day 5 - rescue // Day 6 - no more // Day 7 - Support 

Natasha + Pepper

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yeah.” Pepper stops. Sits. Copies Tony’s tic of rubbing his face.

“I’m sorry. I am. I just. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to help. Seeing you like that, was scary. Seeing you helpless, you- I just didn’t know how to handle it. Still don’t...”

——-

She seeks out Pepper.

Her friend (or so she thought) has been notably absent in the weeks since her capture, rescue and recovery.

Natasha would let it go but she actually likes Pepper. Sees her as an equal. She doesn’t put much stock in friends but her friendship with Pepper has allowed her to see the value in one.

Her first female relationship that’s not a competition or end in (hopefully) either of their deaths.

Plus. Boys sometimes just don’t get it.

She finds her in the penthouse of Stark Tower, cooking in kitchen. She waits for her to turn around, not really knowing what to say or how to start this.

How does one say, thanks for coming to my rescue; sorry I scared you when you saw the realities of my work?

So just waits for Pepper to turn around.

“Fuck! Natasha!?”

The fear and guilt washes across Pepper’s face before it becomes a mask again. Natasha swears she would have been a brilliant agent, if she had wished to.

God this is awkward.

“Hi.”

Natasha is beginning to regret this. Maybe she should have left it; waited for Pepper to come to her or even; just forget the relationship all together. Suck it up, she’s here now.

“I’m sorry.” They both day at the same time.

Pepper smiles.

“Come and sit, I’m making cookies.”

Because of course she is. How does she find time to do that and run the whole of the stark empire?

“I have underlings and a Friday.” Pepper says, reading Natasha’s mind. ”I needed time away from the computer, and being in front of screens. Also away from people.” She smiles.

Natasha’s stomach drops a little, “I can go? Sorry, I-“

“Natasha; stop. You’re not people. You’re my people. Stay. Please? Sit.” She commands softly.

Natasha perches, and watches as Pepper adds ingredients into a bowl. It’s mesmerizing; watching her.

“Need some help?” Natasha offers.

“Sure.” Pepper replies, “grab the sugar for me? It’s in the cupboard next to the stove.”

It’s good to be doing something, it almost negates the awkwardness of this encounter, but still Natasha doesn’t know what to say. Instead she asks what’s next, follows Pepper’s lead and focuses on making something.

Not destroying it; her mind supplies.

When the recipes in the oven and the timer set, Natasha starts to wash the dishes. It’s preferable to facing Pepper.

“How are you?” Pepper opens.

“Ok. How are you?” Natasha counters.

“Ok,” Pepper deadpans.

Making eye contact, they laugh.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yeah.” Pepper stops. Sits. Copies Tony’s tic of rubbing his face.

“I’m sorry. I am. I just. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to help. Seeing you like that, was scary. Seeing you helpless, you- I just didn’t know how to handle it. Still don’t. I wanted to come see you, check on you but at first Clint said you weren’t up to visitors, then you didn’t want to see me and then time had passed, and I wasn’t even sure if you wanted to talk about it. I thought- I don’t even know what I thought. But I didn’t think I was the right person to help you. Or even how to get back to where we were.” she stops and takes a deep breath. “Does this make sense at all? I really am sorry.”

Natasha nods. She gets it, she does. She gets Clint’s protectiveness; she was in no state to see anyone that first week, she pushed everyone away even Clint in the second, wallowing and licking her wounds. Returning to function had and has been hideous.

“I’ve been seeing a therapist.” She admits. Holding up a hand when Pepper starts a question. “She’s set me straight on some things, and encouraged me to act on others.”

“I’m one of the things you need to act on?” Pepper smiles as she asks.

Natasha shakes her hands out, finishing with the dishes and turning to face Pepper.

“I don’t have a lot of friends. I have male Friends or teammates I guess, but female friends are hard, for a lot of reasons but then here you are. We started on a lie, but then you accepted me, knowing who I am, what I am and I’m sure you’ve read all the information that Tony’s dug up…” she waits for Pepper to dispute it, and when she doesn’t she continues on, “So when I say you know me, it’s not the surface knowledge, it’s not even the lies that Shield knows. I didn’t think there was value in friendships or relationships til I met Clint, and then Tony and now you. I don’t want to lose that because there’s another aspect of me that you’re now privy to; or that you’re scared of me, or even..” Natasha stops and takes a deep breath.

“My therapist said I’ve been avoiding you because I’m embarrassed. And I think that might be true. Embarrassed that you had to see me like that, and more embarrassed that I wasn’t strong enough to get myself out. Angry too, I guess. Not at you, but angry that you had to be there. I guess I blame Tony a bit for that.” Natasha finishes with another sigh.

“I’m pretty proud of you, you know?” Huh. This is not what she thought she would be met with. She actually didn’t know what to expect, normally she can read people and predict their actions easily. Pepper is such a wildcard.

“Why?” Incredulous is the only way she’d could describe the octave she just hit.

Pepper laughs.

“You’re self aware enough to know what’s happening, and analyse twenty steps ahead of everyone. You know why people do things and are smarter than nearly everyone on the planet but your also a dumbass. Yeah you scared me, but only in the way that I didn’t know how to help. Which is not on you by the way.”

Pepper takes another breath. Comes to stand next to Natasha. Knows that standing across from her is too much.

“Seeing you in the plane, seizing, having difficulty breathing, god not even speaking the same language, just made some things real, you know? I’ve never seen anyone in that amount of pain, or that vulnerable -except maybe Tony. But that’s because he’s an idiot.” She bumps shoulders with Natasha and continues on. “He asked me you know? Asked me if I wanted to come to get you. Clint had us on speakerphone so I knew you’d been taken. I didn’t hesitate. You’re my friend. And I kinda love you. Who else is gonna make cookies with me and not rat me out when we put 3x the amount of chocolate chips?”

Natasha smiles, ducks her head. She’s glad she came here, glad she pushed herself. She’s feeling braver and wholly attributes that to the damn therapist for challenging her to do things.

They hang together and wait for the cookies to finish, the silences comfortable and conversation easy.

———

MCU is shit at female friendships. I kinda hope that this helps fill that gap. Tomorrow we go back and see what happened in that second week.

[kaypeace21]

I feel like you’re the right person to tell this to, but Mileven makes me REALLY uncomfortable. I’m an adult fan (I watch the show mostly for Winona Ryder) and I felt really gross watching the scenes of them making out, knowing that adults wrote those scenes and shot them, and how many people would’ve been there during shooting. Please tell me I’m not alone.

I agree that it makes me feel uncomfortable and gross, too. But, I actually think the Duffers wanted you to feel uncomfortable (and I think mileven was portrayed as ‘off’ and ‘too much’ for that reason).  Think about it, when it comes to almost all their other cannon couples- they use kisses sparingly. Jancy has only kissed, romantically 3x (2 of those times were simple kisses- not full blown make-outs), and their first kiss (and only make-out) was quickly obscured as they closed the door.

(x)

Jopper has never kissed, and lumax had an innocent kid-kiss once (and even when back together in s3, they never kissed).

The duffers are sparing with kiss- scenes, unless they are portraying a relationship that won’t work.Most of the relationships that are cannon (with the exception of mileven) focus almost completely on how they communicate with one another- and relationships that lack this (spend most of their time just making-out).  What’s the ship that has had the most kiss scenes in the whole series? In the bathroom, library, bedroom(s), garage, in a car, multiple places at school (and has probably had at least 6-7 kiss scenes or more - and  who even made out on a bed to corny romance music just like mileven (pre-s3?)- Stancy.  Heck, we even see Nancy lose her v**ginity to Steve- but didn’t see Jancy do-it. Because we aren’t supposed to focus on their physical relationship but their emotional one.

Stancy and mileven have had alot of parallels. The wheelers (Nancy and Karen) already made a habit of pretending they’re in love with people- because that relationship is what is deemed the most socially acceptable. Nancy rebelling with the cool-jock (Steve), trying to not be like her parents. And Karen with Ted. Nancy even says in s1 “I don’t think my parents ever loved each other. My mom was young. My dad was older… but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a house at the end of the cul de sac and started their nuclear family”. Ted  & Steve were paralleled to each other, having them both eat chicken as their partners  (Karen/Nancy) stormed off upset (and they did nothing). And El was paralleled to Ted by sitting in Ted’s laz-boy chair. And Dustin even refers to mileven as “bullshit” just like Nancy described Stancy as “bullshit”.  

(x)

So to reiterate , Mike is doing the same thing as Nancy & Karen- being with someone they don’t love. And only staying with them becuause they are the more socially acceptable/’correct’ option…because El’s a girl (unlike Will). 

Also, the fact that Murray’s line to Nancy sounds more queer coded than applicable to Nancy - “ Afraid that if you’d accept yourself for who you really are (cough queer-subtext), and retreated back to… name, name? Steve. Steve! we like Steve (El) but we don’t love Steve (El).”

So, the over-top kisses were done as yet another parallel. And again s2 made fun of (kids who are) mileven shippers ( I’ll talk about that later). 

But , S3 was the Duffers criticizing the adult mileven shippers- who are obsessed with mileven kissing. 

Like don’t get me wrong there’s some weird byler shippers (but the majority of byler shippers focus on the emotional not physical part of their relationship).

Think about it. Look how they framed this scene of mileven kissing- making us the viewer feel like a peeping-tom, watching them through the crack in the door. Then El sees the viewer and subsequently gasps and slams the door in front of our faces. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE! 

The Duffers and their crew (like good directors) were manipulating your emotions- without you realizing how or why. They were also calling-out the adult-mileven shippers (not all of them but the ones) who are obsessed with their kiss scenes - creepy AF. The duffers never even wrote for mileven to kiss in s2- but Millie said they “had to for the fans”. And so the Duffers conceded and put in a song about a bad-breakup during the mileven kiss - and their backup-song-choice was even about a divorce. XD

So the 2 mileven make-out scenes were supposed to make you uncomfortable- because not only are they kids (who are making out on a bed , but the way they were framed).

So that 3rd and last kiss. Was 100% supposed to make you uncomfortable (but just for a different reason).

Like it or not Mike either forgot that he said he “loved her”. Or just LIED to El (despite this being the reason they broke up in the first place)- and pretends he didn’t confess to her . He  has never said “ I love you’, once to her face! He even tries to take the words back (before the kiss) and says about the prior love confession “ Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t really remember. What did I say exactly?”

  And , after that discussion, they frame El (before she says “I love you”), strangely. They make El look large and imposing, as she approaches the motionless Mike (who feels both physically & emotionally cornered) .You the viewer, subconsciously are feeling claustrophobic/trapped/and stuck along with Mike. Which is why you are so uncomfortable watching this scene, unfold.

(x)

When she says “I love you”, he looks genuinely confused- or just uncomfortable ( his eyebrows are still scrunched-up).

And then… cue the most awkward kiss in the history as Mike doesn’t kiss her back and keeps his eyes open the whole time… it’s just weird/awkward (sorry).

(x) 

We even see El’s reaction , after the kiss (happy, smiling and giddy). But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

And In s2 they insulted the young-girls who are obsessed with mileven (since they can frankly,  be the most toxic of the milevens). 

In the Montauk pitch (later named Stranger things) they describe the Mike and El dynamic by saying “ If Mike is the Eliot of our show,Eleven is our Et.” (AKA they’re from different planets)

And In s2 , Erica  is forcing He-man and barbie to make out. Lucas angrily separates the two. And then this discussion happens.

Erica: “Hey , They’re in love!”

Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow): “No, actually, they’re not. They don’t even exist on the same planet.”

And again the Duffers have described El in multiple interviews as “similar to ET”, and “like an alien” (even after s3). And in s1, they alluded to El being like “an alien from another planet”  by comparing her to ET (with the Reese’s pieces vs eggos moments,  the bike-scene, and the makeover). 

S3 portrayed mileven as toxic in a myriad of ways. And these other examples, might be stretches, but Mike saying to Max in s2  “How can I hate you, I don’t know you.” could also be a ‘dig’ at mileven.(Because: he knew Max for a week, just as long as El- so how could he hate or love either of them?)

And Mike saying to Dustin incredulously “ You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” Could be another subtle jab.

Especially since it’s cannon Mike isn’t the biggest fan of eggos to begin with.

Don’t even get me started at how much the st writing staff- makes fun of mileven - more details about it here.  But just one example is when the ‘Stranger writers’ ( the official account of the ST writing staff ) got into a huge text-chain with ‘Stranger Things’ (the official account of the show) where they just low-key dragged mileven together.

Mileven was never meant to be end game-they planned for her to die in season 1 (which I’m glad didn’t happen). But, regardless, it was always supposed to be a simple fleeting crush … but the viewers decided to take it way too seriously. After s3, the Duffers reiterate that mileven is just that.

 And the Duffers are smart guys, I bet they’re are 100% aware of how toxic the milevens are to bylers (and how they can also be creepy and harass Finn). Not to mention, as writers, who put so much effort into the show- having people hyper-fixate on mileven (which they don’t even like), instead of the plot must drive them insane.Especially when those shippers can be toxic, homophobic, and entitled. The fact people don’t realize the Duffers hate mileven- is honestly hilarious XD.

[chiefnerdmilkshake]

Explanations

Recently I quit my job without alerting my boss of my decision. Let me explain why.  It’s going to sound dramatic. Maybe it is, maybe it’s because I haven’t taken care of my mental health in years so what people say and what they do affect me in ways I’m ill-equipped to handle.  What I do know for certain is what I went through. I worked at this place for 7 months starting with a speech of “honesty, loyalty, and integrity” and “no one has just one position here we all do everything serve, bartend, clean, cook”. For the first one to 3 months that’s how it was everyone did everything - except clean myself and one other person did the cleaning in the entire restaurant while everyone else got away with not doing anything. Cut to 2 months ago, our actual bartender quit because she wasn’t given the title she thought she had manipulated herself into. And then there were four of us left. I wanted to become a bartender because who doesn’t at some point in their life thought about how fun being a bartender could be. Our “uniform” allegedly consisted of Hawaiian, black, gray, or tan shirts with no real decision on the kinds of pants we were suppose to wear. Every day I walked in there with either a flowery shirt or gray or black shirts with print on them where everyone else would wear whatever color scheme they wanted some even opting to wear torn/ripped/holy clothing. One night at the beginning of one of my first bartending shifts my boss looks at me and said he didn’t like what I wore to work and that’s why he didn’t want me bartending and proceeds to tell me to go into the back room and get one of the plain tan shirts that he had left. He walked back with me and I told him I had found a large. This man didn’t even look up from rifling through clothes and tells me that because he can fit into a large I cannot and proceeds to ask if I thought a 3X would fit me. From here it goes to me working open and closing shifts almost every day for 3 weeks straight. I would go in in the mornings and restock everything (food, tea, beer, liquor), do beer and liquor inventories (while starting to put in beer orders), and let’s not forget all the cleaning that I did because our “boss” couldn’t be bothered to make anyone clean. I’m talking food particles left on the floor all over the restaurant and black alcohol spill spots on the floors. I did an experiment at one point to see how long it would be before someone cleaned something in there. 2 weeks and the only reason they did it was because I said I wasn’t going to be the only one anymore making sure stuff stayed clean. He hired someone 2 weeks ago and it was suppose to be her and I bartending but then he kept sending me home and eventually told me she was going to have the busy shifts during the week but not to worry I still had the most hours (I was down 20+ hours) and I would have the chance to choose a night between Sunday and Wednesday. He explained it as she has 2 kids and can only work those days. When I freaked out because I had earned those shifts he switched gears then blaming another coworker for their inadequateness as the reason I was only to be allowed morning shifts 11 to 3 and one 11 to 5 shifts. Saturday I had an incredibly busy shift and cooked probably 600 dollars worth of food by myself, a quarter of that happened before the next person was due to come in. You can imagine my disappointment when I log onto Facebook later that day and my boss wrote a glowing review... for someone else. Then to have him come into the kitchen screaming at me that I don’t know what I’m doing and he didn’t want me “just fucking standing around doing nothing” while I’m literally working on a ticket he put in (don’t worry, I defended myself because fuck that). Monday I did a whole bunch of cleaning, organizing, stocking, and did my inventory and ordering while the girl I was working with (I love her to pieces and this isn’t about her it’s for once about ME) cut up banana and jalapeno peppers and spent an hour or so playing with a dog. Boss comes in tells her to pick even or odd she says even and he tells me I need to get in the kitchen and wash dishes (while I’m literally between finishing the liquor stock and washing the bar dishes) I told him no and he said “this is what I hired you for you better get in the kitchen and do the dishes”. So I started listing all the things that got done (that wouldn’t have if not for me). I got sent home shortly thereafter.  My boyfriend doesn’t fully understand why I did this the way I did. Honestly good for him because that means he hasn’t been through it. Just being in that building had hit the point where it just annoyed me to be there, then angry because I couldn’t afford to quit yet (my other job reopens in 2 weeks), then I just wanted to cry while I was there because it just depressed me.

I don’t even know if anyone is going to read this whole thing I wasn’t expecting it to be this much typing. I just mainly needed to get that off my chest. No one deserves to be treated this way by anyone but most importantly not by your employer. (Especially one who you know knows you know you could totally take down for one reason or another) He didn’t deserve a warning that I was quitting.

#thankgodforthestimmy #icouldntdoitanymore  #workplace #workplacediscrimination #allworkandnoplay 

[athena1138]

work rant. tl;dr i’m unbelievably tired. 

Things are rough. Blatantly. There’s no other way to say it. 

My residents have been locked in their rooms for 10 weeks now, the first 2 of those because one of them brought in a rotovirus that spread like wildfire (even to me.) 

I get they’re depressed and lonely and tired and jittery. But I’m over it. 

We have one lady who’s literally on her death bed because she stopped taking care of herself. Right now I think she has a UTI because she’s getting up to pee four times an hour. It wouldn’t be a problem for us except that she leaves the light on to get back in bed “because she’s worried about falling” (nevermind she has never once fallen in my 7 months working here,) so she pages us to come turn it off. Four times an hour. Tonight, I said I wasn’t having it. The girl before me had almost had a breakdown trying to keep up with her, but this was her first night dealing with it because she’s been off. Not me. I’ve had four nights dealing with this. So tonight, the lady paged around 11:50 for her light. Fine. In and out. There were a lot of dishes left out in the hall from dinner, so I grabbed a cart and started picking them up. Literally 4 minutes after I left her room, she paged again. Nah. No. She can wait until I’m done, because I know it’s her light. She literally only pages for her light. 4 nights and dozens of pages have cemented this fact for me, so I’m not worried about making her wait a few minutes. 

It took me 10 minutes to gather all the dishes, get them rinsed, an rack them so they’re ready for washing in the morning. Within those 10 minutes, she paged FOURTEEN TIMES. FOR HER FUCKING LIGHT. I’m trying to be calm. I’m trying not to get mad. She can’t help it. She’s got very bad dementia, she doesn’t realize how often she’s doing it. But holy fucking shit. We’ve tried talking to her daughter, but she won’t do anything. She’s only come in 2x to get her up and walking around. Like, yes, she needs exercise, but she needs to go to a doctor, too. She also needs a night light because she keeps asking us to leave lights on but the only light she can stand is from her window which i still too dark. I’ve tried literally anything else I could think of--oven light, TV on mute, cracking the bathroom door, moving the bullshit little blue light in her bathroom, nothing. No. Daughter won’t get it. 

So there’s that. 

We also have a resident who is, quite frankly, an asshole. I can’t stand him. He has done nothing but bitch since lockdown started. 

What kills me is that it’s not even things that he used to bitch about. Before, he never ever ate kitchen food except breakfast. He ate lunch and dinner from his own food. Well, since lockdown, he has been getting trays. But he’s bitching about the trays. He’s bitching about being given soup he didn’t ask for, about food being gross, about this, about that, and it’s like dude. Don’t fucking order it if you don’t fucking want it. But it’s not just that. He went to the hospital last week and came back today, and he threw a HUGE fit because he’s missing 2 newspapers. Like, he made the girl working cry, and she doesn’t fucking cry. He’s blown up at me before because there was no jelly on his table for breakfast and that’s not even my fucking job, but when I told him that we were out of it, he yelled at me more about “You can’t fucking order enough food for 40 fucking people? What kind of a place is this?” THEN LEAVE. IF YOU’RE SO GODDAMN MISERABLE, LEAVE. Or he’ll come out and look out the front windows at night, which, whatever. Doesn’t bother me much. Except every other night he’ll ask if the storage room is open and I’ll say no, but I can open it for him, and he says no and just goes back to his room. Like??? Why’d you ask??? 

My favorite guy has always reminded me of No Face because he’s tall and doesn’t really know what’s going on, but these last few weeks, he’s just. I can’t even explain it. It’s like he’s empty. His dementia has gotten so bad. He’s stopped flushing his toilet, we think he’s peeing on his laundry, his speech is almost imperceptible he’s so quiet, he’s lost weight which is scary because he was already so skinny. 

We have another dementia dude who had hip surgery a little over a month ago, and his aids are BITCHES. We HATE them. We’ve been fighting with them for weeks. They went fucking 3 weeks without giving him a bath or telling us he wasn’t getting a bath, so his skin is terrible. He’s itchy all the time, so they’re saying that it’s his pain medicine which is causing it, which isn’t true. They’re trying to keep him doped up so they don’t have to deal with him, but since we told our boss about it and he talked to theirs, they all of a sudden don’t want us giving him it anymore. All of a sudden, the pain meds make him itch and “are what caused his dementia” and make him dizzy. But none of that is true. He has other people who come in to help him, plus we see him and we’ve known him for months, and we all see that it’s bullshit. But they’re still here. And they have the gall to tell us how to do our jobs. They’re not nurses, they’re not RAs, they’re just random ass people their boss found. One is a high school dropout (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but considering that she’s talking about medical things, it’s relevant,) and the other thinks she knows what she’s talking about because she drove the bus for our neighboring facility. From which she got fired. For being a dick to her passengers. They’re like, “Well he needs his medicine at 6, not 8.” No, he doesn’t. This is when he’s had it for months. “You need to do this.” McFuckinScuse me? Ohohoh, and the kicker? They’ve been saying he’s “end life” since his surgery. Even though he’s not in pain, even though he’s much, much clearer because he got new anti-psychotic medication, even though he’s so much better now than he ever has been. Like. I’ve never been in a fight. but I’m gonna throw hands. 

And we have people bitching about every little thing. Their breakfast arrives cold. Well, you have a microwave, we can’t keep it all hot because we deliver it by floor, not by room. They weren’t abiding the 6-foot-apart rule so we had to take out the furniture in the living room and outside, so they’re acting like children and saying shit like, “Well we’re jut going to sit in our walkers anyway.” Which we can’t do anything to stop them but like. Whatever. We have to spray down our mail and newspapers with our sanitizing gun before we can deliver it, so Every. Single. Morning. we get a phone call from one resident in particular who just angrily demands, “WHERE’S MY PAPER” and then hangs up. EVERY GODDAMN MORNING. LIKE DUDE YOUR FUCKING PAPER WILL BE THERE CALM THE FUCK DOWN. 

Do you know how many fucking times we’ve been asked, “Well when is all this gonna end?” At least 5x a day, depending on the shift. I’ve even been asked on the midnight shift a couple of times. We don’t know when it’s going to end. We don’t control when it’s going to end. If you have a complaint, take it to our boss because we’re busy doing 3x the workload for the same fucking pay. One woman comes down every morning at 7:23 to see if the dining room is open yet despite the fact that we’ve told her it won’t be for several more weeks at least, and another lady is literally standing in the hallway for her breakfast before we’ve even started fucking making it. 

And it’s just. It’s all day. All day there’s someone bitching about something insignificant, and it’s ridiculous. We have residents forgetting their children’s names, residents struggling to thrive, residents literally on the verge of dying, but everybody else is wasting our time with their petty and childish complaints about things which are meant to protect them, about things that we don’t have the power to change. 

I just want to scream. I want to scream and cry and sleep for a solid week. And what makes it worse, what just turns this from a bad situation into a terrible goddamn nightmare is the fact that this is going to have to go on even longer because our government is so caught up in the idea of working us to death to profit itself that we’re opening everything up too fast and all this is going to start all over again. 

The RAs are stir crazy, but at least we get to leave. We get to go outside, go home, maybe go hit a drive through or a gas station. When I say people have been locked in their rooms for 10 weeks, I mean people haven’t fucking stepped out into the hallway for 10 weeks. Some have. Some have been to see their neighbors, some have gone out, like they’re allowed (but if they go out, they’re under 14 day quarantine meaning they can’t leave their rooms unless they’re leaving again,) but I don’t think a good 1/3 of these people have even been outside to enjoy the sun. In 10 weeks. 70+ days. So I understand the crabbiness. I do. I don’t appreciate it, especially not directed at us, but I understand it. I’m just. So tired. And there’s so much left to muddle through still. 

If I believed in a god, I’d say “God help us when we have to announce our extended lockdown,” but it’s a lawless universe without a master, so there’s no hope. We’re just fucked. We’re all so, so tired. 

Please. Just please. Stay home. 

[neuropathicgypsy]

It rained today so I was absolutely exhausted all day and probably still high from my shot... It gets me all super relaxed all high like somehow the planet became perfect.

So I go to the fucking store.

To buy one fucking package of fucking cigars.

And i see this kid in the window and i already know this isnt going to go good.

And the little bitch walks away as i walk into the store. No one fucking greets me. I go like 3x a week or more sometimes less but i go a lot. No one has never not greeted me. Never.

So I'm looking straight at the cashier who's staring straight into my face. I remember this cause his face was white as a sheet.

So this little bitch is touching some girls elbow and her back is to me and shes holding a toddler. Then he moves a hot dog type item as if hes working and not socializing.

So finally he comes to attend and i tell him and hes all what?

I tell him again

Whats that?

Its a cigar

He never looks away from my face, just stares at me. "Can you help me get them? Idk what they are"

Dude turn the fuck around and use your goddammed eyes.

"You got eyes you can use them" So I walk this shit head through his fucking job to get 2 fucking cigars off the shelf.

And im not rude. I'm not yelling. I'm not punching him in the face. Im being patient as possible although already i think he's ridiculous.

So he scans it and I tell him my birthday. He cards me. Obviously i dont have my fucking purse,

So he makes a rectangular shape with his hands as if i dont know what an ID is and says he needs it.

Really? No you fucking don't. I been carded exactly once all summer and i didnt have it and Jordan sold them anyway.

This kid insists he must have it.

"You know you're a really shitty fucking worker" and I turned and walked away

And he yells byyye after me and all sarcastic have a nice night.

"Oh no you don't need to talk to me that way, you little bitch. Im coming right back"

And i did before he finished the guy who was standing behind me with hid hands absolutely full finished paying. I saw him think to the kid 'you shouldn't talk to her like that'

Mind you eveything else i said was said out the mouth.

So i was glad he said that. That was nice of him. Since i already been in line and decided if this two bit little shit wanted to not sell me cigars i was gonna throw down a fit, the other guy waiting I was gonna let go first. But he motioned for me to go first and the look on his face said i shouldn't argue. I already knew the other guy was FBI and they never travel alone so i figured he was doing his job as well.

The little shit didnt even know how to use the computer to scan my ID. He did it multiple times then finally looked at it and handed it back. All thinking 'Idk how to do this' DUH but you know how to type my birthday like i done told you 2x but i didn't even think it. Just put it back in my purse.

I know that my ID scans because although I'm not carded, sometimes i will hand them my ID if i have it out, if I'm not paying in cash. And i did just last week and this girl scanned it.

So i had counted out 6 quarters 2 nickles and 11 pennies. I knew my cigars are $1.61 i did this twice. First i counted it And knew it was fine but threw in 2 nickels for no reason except I wanted to. I do that a lot... Sometimes I catch myself and usually when i do im glad I did cause i end up getting pissed off at the store or in pain or both. But if i don't usually the people HAND me back the change -- often times the silver change and tell me i gave too much. And they're nice.

So i hand him the handful of change and I wait while he counts it.

He takes forever. So i wait.

Then he sticks out his fist, palm down and drops 10 pennies onto the counter and they bounce all over.

He's lucky I had a chill day had i been pissed off for two weeks straight like usually am, i would grabbed him by his throat. And bashed his head on the counter.

Since he hasn't shut up since I got home, that's exactly what i wish i done.

I picked up my cigars and put them in my purse and walked out.

He was embarrassed because he was too lame to figure out to find cigars he has to use his eyes to find them. I know cause his face was all red when he scanned them.

So he thought he won when i left.

What kind of stupid shit is that??? Fucking stupid. He can't do his fucking job he should actually give a shit about his customers.

He is the type that wants control over people. That's why he joined the FBI. Not because he cares but because he wants to control others by force.

By pretending to be a lame pathetic child, he can control peoples emotions to easily be taken over and controlled. Because thats hoe his father, also FBI controls him.

Hes the little Bastard child i had an issue with over the weekend.

Now I have memorized his stupid little face exactly. So his daddy thought he was intelligent in actually following protocol for once and making him actually follow the rules everyone else has to follow.

And he completely fucked up.

And not only was there 2 intelligent agents there but also a local police department officer parked across the street.

His little ass better not be in that store again or that ambulance that was in the parking lot will be needed.

[thisnerdsadventures]

a summer to remember

hello friends, i definitely just abandoned this whole blog, now didn't i

well i am happy to report that i am still alive, and am thriving!

Here's a rundown of everything that has been going on:

[inserting a readmore because this is long af]

May

So in May, I was definitely just all over the place because I was 1) trying to finish a paper published in a conference!! it literally drove me insane. anyways, then i had to go and finish a 78 page thesis, which involved a really convoluted timeline because i had to finish it ~ a week before the actual deadline so my PI could read it over, but then i had to finish it a few days before THAT so my PhD supervisors could read it over, which meant that i had like one (1) week to write like. all of it.

Luckily I had most of the first half already written, during whatever shitshow April was (April was a lot of coding for the paper, and then not having time to write my thesis). But THEN i had to organize all the data from my own personal experiments, make figures, and draft the entire results section. AND i had like two final reports to do for my class, so my last weeks of academia looked like....

Of course, the day before my thesis was due, I pulled an all nighter, because, of course. What other way would I ever end my academic career. Submitted it though, and I graduated! [LINK TO MY THESIS]

Also! I got vaccinated and felt like death for a whole day, but then my friend came over and we ate fried chicken and watched this show called Miraculous, which is a kids show from France, but for some reason is actually hilarious and really entertaining. Then I felt better, so I proceeded to work on my thesis.

Also, I guess I should talk a little bit about the class I took this semester, which was an industrial organization economics class. We looked at things like how different markets are organized, why they are that way, what market concentration means, how mergers affect competition, and what kind of effect that may impose on consumers. For the final case study (which, I will say, I wrote like 2000 words in a single day, so . applause for me), I looked at the Nvidia-ARM merger and how that may or may not affect competition in the GPU market, the CPU market, and the mobile chip market. I think my analysis was a little bit more surface level, which was fine for me, since I'm by no means an economics expert or even remotely should have any expectations at all, but I read a lot and learned a lot and that's the goal!

So yes, my brief excursion into the field of economics was overall positive, I feel like I learned a lot and now I can read financial articles about the tech industry and not be completely lost, which, again, was the goal.

But yes, May was a lot of work, and once it wrapped up, I got to spend a lot of time with friends post-vaccination! After the 1 or 2 week mark after my second dose, I started going back to the gym, especially to play basketball with folks, which I had missed a lot. I spent a lot of time at my old dorm just hanging out, and got to have a cute salmon dinner over at my other friend's place. And we made cheesecake too.

June (MA->NY->MA->CA)

I finally went to visit my best friend in New York. I hadn't seen her in > 400 days, so it was really a very anticipated event, except we saw each other across the crosswalk, but then the light took like five minutes to turn green, so it was really anticlimactic. Anyways, we ended up bumming around New York and Long Island for a week, and it was nice to spend some time with her after such a long gap.

We spent a day at a vineyard and I fell asleep so

After getting back to Boston, my mom came back from Taiwan to help me move out of my apartment. It was a lot of finding people to sell things to, sweating because it was very hot that week, and praying everything would work out (it did). I also got to have a few final meals with various friends and my mom and I got to take one last lark down the Infinite, which I was really grateful for because it was the first time visitors got to go inside campus in over a year.

Also got into my school's MBA program! Yes i applied to a deferred program (which is like you get into a program, but you don't have to go for 2-5 years, as a way of getting in right after undergrad/grad school, but then accumulating some work experience first). It was hilarious, I was literally shopping in my campus store for a new sweatshirt and I got a phone call from the admissions office saying I got in. My mom had been pushing me to apply to grad programs, and I didn't tell her about it because I didn't know if I would actually follow through. But I got to surprise her with the news, and she was so happy she did the whole "calling all the relatives" thing again.

After flying home, I told myself I'd read more and exercise more, which I have been doing. I got a membership at Planet Fitness, which has been really good for me (going 3x a week), and I've made my way through at least 5 books this summer so far. My holds list at my local library is literally insane. (For recs, I recently read Normal People, which I absolutely devoured, and In the Dream House, which hit really hard for me.)

This summer was also really about reconnecting with high school friends. All three of us were unemployed, with plans to come in the fall, so we were all free to hang out all the time. We started out at the local library planning out a road trip, and we worked out a few times together, and a few coffee dates too. We took a fun day trip down to LA one day, and we visited Malibu, went to the Getty, hit up some local food places in the city. Driving down the PCH with Taylor Swift blaring and the windows down on a hot June day, just hits so different. There is nothing like it.

My friend's birthday was in June, so we put together a little video for her and bought some jewelry, and had a Zoom call to celebrate. Then I got BBQ with some friends and sat in the parking lot eating ice cream until 11 at night just trading stories from our pasts. It felt like the perfect summer life, just staying out until whenever, grabbing food wherever we wanted, with friends I had had for literally a whole decade.

It was already a really good summer, but then July. July was crazy.

July (CA -> MI -> CA -> NV -> CA -> WA -> OR -> CA)

So one Sunday morning, I woke up to a text

Actually, I'm going to do a separate post on the whole Michigan trip because that sh** was on another level of spontaneous, impulsive, crazy life stuff. But anyways, so July started off with a trip to Michigan to visit my friends, and then I came back for the 4th, had 36 hours of rest before my high school friends and I went on a road trip.

This road trip was a little ambitious. We hit spots all up California, from hiking in Sequoia Nat'l Park to Kings Canyon, driving up to Sacramento and visiting art museums, and then going up to Tahoe but staying in Nevada, going kayaking and hiking and sitting on the beach for hours. It was reallllllly hot, but luckily I don't think it ever broke 90 degrees. The views were beautiful, especially at Kings Canyon. The drive in, you're surrounded by huge rock walls, with a thin river rushing by next to you. The hike itself literally feels like you're in nature, like the trail is somewhat defined but not paved, there are no sounds of traffic, the path isn't heavily trafficked so we were the only ones there for the most part. We even saw a deer and washed our faces in the river. Throughout the whole thing, we climbed into so many waterfalls, trying not to slip on rocks.

I hadn't been to Sacramento in over a decade, but it was a cute day trip. There isn't a ton to do there, but it was a nice reprieve from the constant driving and nature. We visited the Leland Stanford Mansion, the Crocker Art Museum, and Old Town Sacramento. A good chance to get a nice coffee, a sit-down meal, and some air conditioning. At Tahoe, we went kayaking on Pope Beach, with the clearest water I have ever seen, followed up by a hike up to a beautiful view of the Lake.

On our way back, we stopped at a lot of interesting places, like small towns like Lee Vining, where we found an Upside Down House; Manzanar, the site of an old Japanese internment camp during the WWII era (which also hit hard); and Randsburg, a literal living ghost town. Overall, getting to travel with my friends finally was so fun, they were so much fun to be around for five days, and getting to explore so much of California was so fun - even though I'd been here for so long, I never knew these places existed.

So I came back and had around 48 hours to recover before my mom and I took a trip up to the Pacific Northwest!

I've always wanted to visit Seattle, and figured I'd hit Portland on the way too. We originally wanted to go to Hawaii but it got so expensive by the middle of the summer, so we decided to stay a little closer to home (probs the better decision bc I was already so tired by this point).

Seattle! Got to visit Pike Place Market many times, grab some coffee at the original Starbucks, see Mt. Rainier, and grab food with three friends! Also went to Bainbridge Island for a day which was SO cute - got to do an olive oil/balsamic vinegar tasting, which sounds so extra, but is actually really unexpectedly fun. At Starbs, I did a cold brew flight, which resulted in a rough night of tossing and turning for me, but I think it was worth it. Other things included the Pinball Museum, Space Needle, and Chihuly Glass Museum!

So I lowkey really wanted to visit Portland because I wanted to achieve a long-lasting dream of seeing an NWSL game in person. So I went to the Thorns Pride game!!

The Thorns fanbase is actually insane, I cannot express to you, like there's this whole fan section that actually did synchronized cheers and routines and was actually ROARING when they scored the entire game. I swear the audience was actually watching them at points instead of the match. Overall, the stadium was going crazy, like I thought I was at a tied Celtics-Bucks game with how loud it was in there. Also I swear, Ali Krieger made eye contact with me and waved.

In addition to that, Portland also has a huge rose garden, a nice Japanese tea garden, a lot of good donut stores and a huge bookstore, so all very up my alley. We also took a day trip to see Mt. Hood and more waterfalls!!

That's a summary of the SEA - PDX trip. Once I got home, my high school friends and I did not waste any time on reuniting to hang out - we went and played ball, grabbed lunch, and then coffee, and then did the same exact thing like two days later and watched a bunch of TikToks, and then spent a whole day at the beach to send my good friend off to medical school in Arizona. They somehow convinced me to go in the water and I got body checked by a wave.

Saw this sculpture on the beach and teared up a little

So proud of my friends for making it to med school, I am so excited to see them at their white coat ceremonies and beyond, I swear I will cry at every step of the way I'm so happy for them. Now that July is pretty much over, most of my fun summer plans are too, and I finally get a chance to catch my breath from that busy busy month. Spending a lot of time watching the Olympics and trying to muster up the motivation to start a fulltime job in < 1 month!!

Overall, I feel like I've been having a really solid summer given the year that was the covid year. I had a Lot of fun, literally probably two summers worth of fun consolidated into one. I think in the beginning of the year, I really wanted this summer to be good, and I didn't have a lot of set plans for the summer, even by the end of May. But somehow, things came together, like Really together, and I had the best summer of my life in this summer 2021. On top of that, I'm reading more than I have since probably middle school, I feel the most in shape that I ever have, I can DRIVE NOW. Only thing that would've made it better was if I got to go back to Taiwan to visit the fam, but unfortunately I can't go back because of strict travel restrictions there and they had a COVID outbreak too :/ I still got around 3.5 weeks of summer to go, so we'll see how the rest goes :)

[fuck-customers]

This is a Fuck My Store Manager post. It's kinda long, so I apologize for the length but Black Friday weekend is coming up and I need to vent before I have even more to complain about.

I work at the pet store chain that rhymes with BetShmo, and I only applied/got hired because I (1) am a professional dog trainer outside of the store and (2) I used to know the stock manager from junior high & high school swim team. She put a good word in with her manager and I didn't even interview for the position. The downside is that after I got hired I figured out pretty quickly that I didn't want to teach the company's watered down, bullshit "training" classes and told my manager this. She said it was okay and "let me" stay on as a cashier. I'm on the autistic spectrum so I suffer from anxiety, a sensory processing disorder, and some days I'm not super great at interacting with people, plus I have a hard time hearing the customers when the store gets busy. My store manager, the assistant manager, and -- pretty much everyone I work with -- knows this. I'm not private about it, and no one really cares/treats me differently because of it. Except for her.

After the whole situation where I mentioned to her that I don't wanna be a dog trainer, she has been treating me differently.

The very first thing I hate about being "only a cashier" is that there's a definite line of shelves that denote the front of the store from the middle of the store. Cashiers are told that in order to not leave any customers waiting that they need to stay behind the front of those shelves (in front of small animals, and stay in the leashes/toys for dogs section). The reason I hate this is because the bathrooms are back behind the small animals section, and no matter how often I may call for "backup" when no one is at the register -- depending on who the manager is at the time -- I may have to "hold it" and not be able to go to the bathroom for an entire shift. It's gotten better since I switched to being only a cashier (because a majority of the managers like me now), but I used to have to wait to use the bathroom on my "10" if I even got one that day. Now that we have better supporting/shift managers that like me I can go multiple times in a shift as long as I'm fast and more people answer my call for "backup."

I've been working there since the beginning of the summer, and I told my store manager I can't work on Sundays because of "religious observance," (really just want to be able to have family dinner every week at my parent's house, but work doesn't need to know that), but instead of just finding another person to cover the closing shift on Sundays, she said to me "We work in retail. It's unrealistic to expect to have ANY weekends off." When the only other cashier at the time got weekends off pretty consistently. Like I'm talking she was only working Friday mornings and having Saturdays/Sundays off which is wildly out of the norm for any other retail jobs I've ever worked. Especially for a cashier.

That same cashier -- we'll call her Chelsea -- has some mental health issues going on and has been moody/rude since she dropped out of college in the Spring. Like I'm not judging, we all have issues and she's getting help for her's finally, but during the time when she was not on medication/seeing a professional, she requested to "make a statement" about me and one little misunderstanding between us (her being asked by a different manager to recover the small animals section at the same time I was asked to and said I was slacking/not doing my job and just following her around the store) blew up into a whole 6 page report of blatant lies that resulted in me getting called to the office and almost written up within the first month of working there before I had the chance to defend myself. For some reason after that, my store manager decided she likes Chelsea more than she likes me and PROMOTED HER TO STOCK MANAGER EVEN THOUGH SOME OF THE THINGS SHE SAID SHOULD'VE RESULTED IN SUSPENSION. Chelsea still gets better hours than me and my store manager still likes her better.

In the last two months my store manager has hired four new cashiers, and out of all four of them only one of them isn't long-time best friends with her daughter -- that I know of. One of these new cashiers spends a ton of time on her phone and I only care about this because I get yelled at all of the time for "being on my phone" (ie when the store is dead I will text my boyfriend back or check Facebook for a few minutes) when she doesn't! But when I even so much as LOOK at my phone to check the time (depending on where you're at in the store, the clocks are all between 10 and 30 minutes fast or slow) I get told if I pull my phone out one more time I will be fired on the spot. That's a real thing that happened one weekend, and she told me that if she has to keep reminding me to keep my phone put away then she's going to take it from me and fire me??? Like we're not in middle school, bitch. You can't just take my phone from me.

The four or five new people she's hired in the last two months are all hired as "cashiers" but because they're best friends with her daughters, they get to pick their hours -- to the point where if one of them has a dentist appointment or something that conflicts with how they were scheduled, the store manager goes in and manually changes their schedule even if it's the WEEK OF. I have had several conflicts with doctor's appointments etc and she's always told me I have to find my own cover for my shift. These cashiers are also all allowed to be on an entire 6-7 hour shift doing recovery or helping with the stock room, but I only get scheduled to be on the register even though I have a disability and can't handle it some days. And because my managers know about it, I can say to them "Hey I'm not feeling it today, can I switch with someone who is doing recovery? And only one manager tries to live up to that promise at all. (Like in the middle of the 1-2 o'clock rush on a Saturday I've broken down into tears and a panic attack and had to take my ten and go back to the register.) Even after this, she doesn't schedule me differently. Oh, and because we have so many cashiers now -- EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SENIOR CASHIER AT THIS POINT -- I get the sloppy seconds of everyone's hours. I'm talking MAYBE 3x 5-hour shifts all over the weekend with ALL WEEK off, while the other cashiers get long morning shifts and can request weekends off willy-nilly. For the last month and a half, I've had Monday-Thursday off even though I've mentioned that I need more hours to just make rent, let alone other expenses. So that's fun and fresh.

This same manager hired a new "Fish Specialist" behind the old "Fish Specialist"'s back and then MADE HER TRAIN HIM. The upside to this is that the new Fish Specialist is pretty cool and likes me well-enough, so I get to go back there and he teaches me stuff about being a Fish Specialist. Although I've never gotten scheduled back there, despite knowing almost as much as the head of the department. Why you might ask? Yep, because my store manager hates me and doesn't let me move from the register.

But there is a happy ending to this story. I heard from our dog training specialist that our store manager was going to be promoted to higher management at the beginning of next year, and I have yet to find an employee that isn't excited about it. And recently I heard she's getting promoted at the end of this year, like before New Year's and I couldn't be more excited. Fuck her.

[ronaldmrashid]

The First Rule Of Financial Independence: Never Lose Money

In 2009, I made myself two promises when I started Financial Samurai: 1) write 3X a week on average for 10 years and 2) never lose money again.

We had just gone through a financial beating where my net worth got slashed by 35% – 40% in just six months. The pain was too much to bear, so I decided to take up writing instead of drugs and alcohol.

I knew that worst case, if I stayed committed with Financial Samurai, in 10 years I’d have the option to escape full-time work. When you spend at least 10,000 hours on your craft, you will have opportunities.

Further, I knew that if I never lost money again, in 10 years by simply earning a conservative 5% rate of return plus annual savings, I’d surpass the net worth that I once had before the financial crisis by at least 2X.

Achieving financial independence takes discipline and patience. But once you get there, you’ll realize all your effort was well worth it.

The First Rule Of Financial Independence

The first rule of financial independence states that you should never lose money on your path to financial independence, especially after achieving financial independence.

If you lose 50% of your net worth, you need a 100% gain to get back to even. But worse than trying to recoup your losses is the loss of time. The older you get, the more you realize everything you want to do is a race against death.

Once you’ve experienced financial independence, when your gross passive income covers your desired life’s expenses, you never want to return to the salt mines again.

Ideally, your investments never go down, but we know from history that in any given year, there’s a ~30% chance the S&P 500 will end in the red. Therefore, it’s almost impossible to never have a down year with any of your risk assets.

So what is a financially independent person supposed to do? The solution is to either completely de-risk, diversify, or have alternative income streams beyond your passive income to bolster potential investment losses.

If you cannot avoid losing money in your investments, then you must certainly avoid an annual net worth decline. The solution here is to buffer your potential investment losses with aggressive saving and additional sources of income.

Let me share some examples of various financially independent archetypes I’ve met, and how they plan to always follow the first rule of financial independence.

Financially Independence Archetypes

Archetype #1: 60-year-old couple, $3 million net worth, $90K passive income, $90K total income, $50K expenses

Due to inflation, $3 million is the new $1 million. We’ve got to move past the belief that having a $1 million net worth means you’re a millionaire. A $1 million net worth means you’re earning about $30,000 – $40,000 a year in gross passive income, which does not reflect the traditional millionaire lifestyle.

With a respectable $3 million net worth, however, archetype #1 lives a comfortable lifestyle off a low-risk 3% return or $90,000 a year in net passive income from AA-rated municipal bonds.

The 60-year-old couple has no debt and their kids are independent adults. They could increase their withdrawal rate and eat into principal, but they want to remain conservative.

The couple has no desire to work part-time or consult for money. They are happy with what they have.

Since they only spend $50,000 a year, they get to reinvest $40,000 a year to earn another $1,200 a year in net passive income to keep up with inflation and boost their financial buffer.

Their net worth should never go down because there has been a 0% default history on AA-municipal bonds in their state.

Further, within five years, the couple expect to begin receiving an additional $40,000 total in Social Security for the rest of their lives.

Archetype #2: Late 30s, $10 million net worth, $208K passive income, $80K part-time consulting income, $288K total income, $130K expenses

This couple hit it big when the husband started early at a hot startup that went public after 10 years. At the age of 38, the husband decided to retire and live off the $10 million after-tax windfall after he sold all his company stock.

He married a school teacher eight years his junior and asked her to spend more time with him in retirement to travel. They’re planning to have their first child in the next two years and want to do the crazy dual stay at home parent thing.

Because the couple is relatively young, they feel comfortable taking on more risk. Further, with part-time consulting income of $80K a year, they only need to earn about $50K after-taxes to fund their $130K in annual expenses.

As a result, their net worth is composed of: 20% in the S&P 500, 20% in their primary residence, 50% in AA-municipal bonds, and 10% cash.

60% of their net worth will generate about $180,000 in passive income at a 3% rate of return. The $2 million S&P 500 index position also generates about $28,000 a year in dividends due to a ~1.4% gross yield. Add on the $80,000 in part-time consulting income, and we’re talking $288,000 in annual net worth increase, or 2.8% +/- any increase or decrease in the value of the S&P 500.

With $2 million of their net worth exposed to the S&P 500, this couple can afford to lose 13% in their stock holdings before their net worth starts going down. They are indifferent about the value of their $2 million primary residence because they plan to own it forever.

Their ultimate goal is to grow their net worth by a stress-free 4% a year so that in 10 years, their net worth will have grown to about $15 million. If there is a particularly rough patch in the stock market, the husband will ramp up his consulting work in order to never see a net worth decline. He has the capacity to earn up to $250,000 a year in consulting.

Worst case, they could invest $10 million of their liquid net worth in 10 years in a portfolio of municipal bonds that yield them $300,000+ in after-tax passive income.

Even if their expenses grow from $130K to $200K after conceiving a child, they’ll still have a $100,000 a year gross surplus of cash flow. This couple is unlikely to ever lose money again.

Archetype #3: 40s, $5 million net worth, $150K passive income, $300K active income, $450K total income, $120K expenses

$5 million is the recommended minimum you’ll need if you want to retire comfortably in an expensive city with a child. One look at the budget and you’ll recognize this reality.

Archetype #3 is in their 40s with one 5-year old child who began attending private kindergarten that costs $30,000 a year. The couple’s total after-tax living expense is $10,000 a month.

The couple is financially dependent and are no longer working full-time jobs after 20 years of grinding away. The difference with this couple and the other two couples is that they have an online business where they generate $300,000 a year in gross income.

The wife started her online store selling a variety of women’s goods on the side while working as a Marketing Director.

She read Financial Samurai and thought, why not utilize my expertise at my day job and create something of my own. After all, one of the best ways to get next-level-rich is to grow your own equity.

With a combined $450K a year in gross income and only $120K in annual after-tax expenses, they have roughly a $300K annual gross buffer. Therefore, this couple is willing to take more risks with their investments.

Their net worth is currently composed of 30% in various large cap dividend stocks, 25% in real estate, 40% in AA-municipal bonds, and 5% in a high yield online savings account.

With $1.5M in stocks and a $300K annual gross surplus after expenses, this couple is able to withstand a 20% decline in their stock portfolio before they start losing money.

Using Financial SEER, this couple’s Risk Tolerance Multiple is a reasonable 13.8X if using a 35% expected average bear market decline, and just 7.9X if using a 20% expected decline in their stock portfolio.

This couple’s ultimate goal is to achieve a $10 million liquid net worth by their 50s so that they can generate ~$300,000 a year in passive income and hedge against a decline in their online business.

Never Lose Money Again

Unless you’re risking other people’s money, it’s actually hard to lose much more than 20% in a well-diversified public investment portfolio. Yes, we know the average bear market declines by roughly 35% since 1928. However, that’s for stock performance alone.

Once you construct a balanced retirement portfolio of stocks and bonds, the volatility declines tremendously. Add on alternative investments, and it may be even harder to lose 35% in any given year.

Take a look at the worst year performances of the following balanced portfolios below. Even with a 60% / 40% weighting in stocks / bonds, -26.6% was the worst annual decline.

Major point: If you’ve actually achieved financial independence or are clearly on your way to financial independence, there’s no way you should be risking the majority of your net worth in risk assets without having alternative income streams. You are already comfortably happy with what you have. If you are not, then you have not yet achieved financial independence.

We must also recognize that except for 2018, it’s been easy to make money each year since 2009. Not only have stocks performed well, but so have bonds, real estate and other alternative investments.

Therefore, let us not overestimate our investing prowess. Confusing brains with a bull market is a dangerous mindset. I’ve known too many people to take excess risk only to lose it all and then some.

Historical S&P 500 returns with dividends reinvested

The feeling of never losing money is wonderful. We just need to be aware that there’s a never ending amount of money to be made. As soon as we find a way to let go of our desire for more, we will feel more satisfied and happier.

Finally, the great irony of following the first rule of financial independence is that you may actually end up making much more money long-term. When you’ve structured your finances to be bulletproof, you’ve essentially created your own perpetual trust fund.

It is precisely your financial security that allows you to take more risk. And it is the risk-taker who tends to gain all the spoils.

Related: What Does Financial Independence Feel Like?

Readers, how do you plan to never lose money on your quest to financial independence? What are some reasons why people see year over year net worth declines? If you are already financially independent, what drives you to take excess risk if you are truly happy with what you have.

The post The First Rule Of Financial Independence: Never Lose Money appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/the-first-rule-of-financial-independence-never-lose-money/

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Dr. Bronner's is the only good brand on Twitter

Whether it's Lil Debbie shilling out relationship advice or Sunny D igniting a conversation about depression, contemporary brand Twitter can be a depressing and dark place. 

Nothing feels more cynical than when a brand appropriates the standardized millennial voice — ironic, detached, dejected — and uses it to hock their emulsified meat products and drinkable corn syrups. There's no commitment to justice here, there's just marketing. So I'd love to call for a mass ban of corporations from Twitter, with one exception: Dr. Bronner's, one of the country's most popular organic, fair trade soap producers.

I don't trust any multimillion dollar corporation on Twitter. I do, however, place a reasonable amount of faith in this social justice soap. 

SEE ALSO: Brand Twitter, please stay away from the 2020 election

Dr. Bronner's is best known for their all-purpose soaps (used for anything from washing your face to killing your dog's fleas, and cleaning your bong) and long-winded labels, which feature references to world religion and calls to end the war on drugs. The main ingredients in the brand's products are both organic and fair trade. Dr. Bronner's commitment to social justice has been present since the brand's inception, and the company now dedicates approximately one-third of its profits to various social causes.

"Earth’s soils contain more than 3x more carbon than is stored in the atmosphere, and 4x more than the amount in all living plants & animals."https://t.co/kxGgbEWlsI

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 28, 2019

All of this is reflected in the brand's social voice on Twitter. Unlike brands like Sunny D which capitalize on the millennial mental health crisis without doing anything to abate it, Dr. Bronner's shares stories written by real journalists of real value to millennials. 

"Some small studies suggest that #psilocybin can alleviate obsessive-compulsive disorder, treatment-resistant #depression, end-of-life #anxiety, addiction, cluster headaches, and, yes, relieve pain." @WIRED https://t.co/sabO1YDThg

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 20, 2019

They're loud advocates for a fair living wage, having donated over $500,000 to minimum wage campaigns in 2016 and paying above the living wage in their own company. There isn't much to be cynical about here — the brand tweets what they practice, and what they practice is good.

RAISE THE FEDERAL MINIMUM WAGE.

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 22, 2019

21 states have a #minimumwage at or below the federal minimum of $7.25. Many others aren’t that much above it. @MinimumWageBiz https://t.co/czD9MPLCNI

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 26, 2019

Constructive Capitalism at Dr. Bronners: • 5-to-1 cap on executive salaries • $18.71 minimum wage for full-time permanent employees • Free health care for staff & their families • Free daily organic vegan lunches • Up to 25% of salary as annual bonushttps://t.co/HduUkftsEF

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 26, 2019

Even though soap has no direct connection to cannabis, Dr. Bronner's frequently shares stories and posts tweets in support of legalization.

It’s time to end the outdated, racist policy of #cannabis prohibition that shreds productive citizens’ lives and families for no good reason, and disproportionately affects people of color, while resources are diverted away from real crimes.

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 5, 2019

"#Marijuana legalization advocates came into 2019 expecting it to be a huge year for cannabis, and lawmakers around the country are not disappointing them so far."https://t.co/phaijFd3Hp

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 27, 2019

And while caps lock should be banned from Twitter, I'll make an exception for the random tweets Dr. Bronner's routinely posts about ending the war on drugs.

END THE WAR ON DRUGS.

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 12, 2019

Outside of social causes, I particularly love the brand's tweets that are just basic tenets of human morality. The tweets don't have any cunning wordplay or cynical references to pop culture. Dr. Bronner's sometimes shares moral principles that, simply stated, likely drive down their Twitter engagement.

There's absolutely nothing viral about tweets like these ones — hence, I love 'em. 

We can only truly prosper if we contribute to the prosperity of all!

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 25, 2019

Whatever unites us is greater than whatever divides us!

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 14, 2019

What's one way to enjoy the weekend without creating waste?

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 22, 2019

There's nothing shareable about death, and yet somehow this tweet exists:

To reach that unreachable star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far! To fight for the Right without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause. For I know if I follow this glorious quest, my heart will lay peaceful & calm when I’m laid to rest!

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 20, 2019

And who else would fill out this Twitter poll besides your radical aunt and your high school creative writing teacher a *little too obsessed* with recycling? Nothing about this tweet would make it viral. That's exactly what makes it good.

Have you ever spent your free time picking up litter?

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 22, 2019

The retweets, my friends, are also incredible.

Peggy now has a chair that helps her eat and drink comfortably. She loves it! She still hops around the yard and sleeps on her bed, but this makes meal time easier. Having a house chicken is so fun! @EllieLaks #animallover #animalrescue #chickens #gentlebarn pic.twitter.com/9yg5dyLcjX

— The Gentle Barn (@TheGentleBarn) February 5, 2019

I don't want to get y'all too high on soap: At the end of the day, Dr. Bronner's is still a brand. They're on Twitter to advocate for causes and to sell their social justice soap. They have a hand sanitizer coming out that will soon be sold at Urban Outfitters. They talk about constructive capitalism.

Dr. Bronner's is launching a NEW Organic Hand Sanitizer on March 8, 2019. Can you guess the scent? 😉 Photo by Urban Outfitters pic.twitter.com/uA1ZmfUvTl

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 25, 2019

The brand posts plenty of tweets marketing their products, but there's nothing particularly malicious about them. Dr. Bronner's doesn't play on the 2020 election as Pop-Tarts recently did when they announced they were considering a presidential run. Their marketing-based tweets are plain and simple and limited to soap. 

Besides diluting, how do you make a bottle of Dr. Bronner's last longer?

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 12, 2019

Based on your week, what scent are you showering with this weekend?

— Dr. Bronner's (@DrBronner) February 7, 2019

Dr. Bronner's is a soap with a soapbox. They just it do better than anyone else out there on this brutal, cynical hellscape of a brandscape.

WATCH: Snapchat celebrates Black History Month with virtual museum

[hasafraker]

Ride to Work

I think last month was ride your bicycle to work day, week, month or something. I totally missed the boat mostly because I just didn’t have a way to carry all my stuff with me. Rather than kill myself trying for the sake of doing it on the designated day, I have finally gotten what I need to just do it every day. I got a rack and some bags last weekend for my Jamis Coda Elite.

Got a few other things as well, a lock to make sure it stays where I left it. I’ve seen others drop their horse shoe style lock in the rails of the rack, and would you look at that mine fits there perfectly too!

So this last Monday I worked from home, yes its a thing! When I worked for the place that shall not be named, my boss there was very adamant that nobody was allowed to work from home (except him) because he didn’t trust that you would be working. Yeah ok... I got nothing, my new job/boss is like “you will work from home 4 days a week, 1 week a month and if you need to work from home on a particular day for whatever reason just let me know we’ll figure it out.” WOW such forward thinking I don’t know how to act. 

Anyhow so Monday I worked from home, my laptop weighs a TON! It might as well be a legit boat anchor when it comes to carrying this beast on my bicycle. The bags I got (which I will review later for fun) are quite spacious and swallowed the laptop, power supply, headset, change of clothes, towel, lunch box and misc other stuff that I pack to work w/out any problems. 

Now mind you, I’ve been trying to get out and ride 3x a week at the minimum to make sure I am in shape enough to survive the 5 mile ride to work. You laugh, “hah a mere 5miles?! you smell of elder berries!” No really, this is a rough 5 miles. I’ve never lived in a place that was more hill ridden in my life! From the house I ride up hill about a mile to the first main road that runs towards work. Then the next 3.5 miles are flatter but slightly downhill, it’s a decent roll and I can get cranking on it pretty good. The last .5 miles... I should nickname it the murder hill because the grade is ridiculous.

Wednesday mornings ride started out great, yay, riding to work, this will be glorious! I head out, first hill, no big deal, heart pounding, breathing heavy, legs warming up wow the bike feels really heavy lol. As I crest the top of the first big hill and get ready to turn right at the light my legs are really burning. I will say one thing for traffic here in MD is that bicyclists are tolerated really well? Maybe it’s just really pro-bicycle? I’ve only had 1 motorist honk at me and in retrospect she may have been honking at another driver for not letting her get out from behind me. 

Anyhow, so the next stretch I really get going there are a few upward sections that slow me down some but it’s mostly flattish so this is where I make my time, even the roads are in decent shape so I’m not dodging potholes or anything. 

Then I reach the decent before a good downhill section and I attack it with as much energy as I can because I want to carry some speed through to see how far I can get up the hill before I have to start down shifting to keep the wheels moving. I’m in top gear about 1/3rd of the way down because I was already moving pretty fast, now I’m going probably 30+ mph and the FRICKIN LIGHT CHANGES!! GAH! So I downshift because I don’t want the cross traffic to road pizza me and stop at the light panting. Green light and now I’m at the bottom on the hill before the murder hill and I have to climb this section first to get to the real hill... real hill, like this hill is just an illusion that’s kicking my ass? If only that were so. 

So I get up the hill, and again catch another red light and grab a drink while I wait for the light to change. Now this downhill section at the bottom of the murder hill is just long enough for me to get nearly into top gear with some serious effort on my part, but with traffic coming and going on both sides of the road I feel a little like Mad Max now because I’m trying again not to die on my way to work and the motorists only have so much humor when it comes to cyclists so I do try not to surprise them by popping out in front of them without any notice. I manage to slip in behind the last mini van to go by and find a gap in the oncoming cars so I’m able to slip all the way over to the left side of the road because there is a second lane on that side for traffic turning into any of the multiple driveways over there vs a 2′ shoulder on the right side of the road.

So now as I attack the murder hill and shift down into 1st as fast as I can and just try to keep the cranks spinning so the wheels don’t stop I can feel my heart rate climb, my lungs are burning almost as much as my legs and I push myself and push myself and I can feel my breakfast threatening to make another appearance and I tell myself not to think about it and just keep the pedals going and I realize at this point that if I don’t stop I will likely either pass out and fall over or puke, or both, and if I’m really unlucky maybe even a heart attack is lurking in there for me! Ok so I unclip first because I’ve had a number of “OMG I can’t get out of my clips and I’m going to fall now” recently and I don’t want to crash with my new bags and my laptop and all my stuff so yeah at least I had enough brain power left to remember to unclip first. 

I get off the bike and walk it the remaining 200′ to the first driveway that is linked to the work parking lots. I grab another drink, catch my breath a little, hop back on the bike and will my legs back to work again pushing the pedals and off we go, I find a little service road that takes me to another road that seems like it goes off into nowhere so I jump the curb and ride along a volleyball court and come to another drive that comes to the first manned guard access gate. WHEW I’m gonna make it! I get there, badge in and ask for directions to the building where the Gym is located because employees can use the showers there if they need to. Boy do I need to at this point because I’m dripping sweat.

I roll down to that building, another guard nearby directs me to the nearest bike rack, I get locked up, grab my bag with my change of clothes and he then tells me how to find the showers, what a guy! I got showered and dressed and back to the bike. Load back up and now I have like 2 blocks to slow ride cause I’m beat to get to my building and stow my bike and head up to my floor so I can get to work. 

So that was my first day riding to work! The ride home was seemingly easier but I don’t think it really is, the murder hill is fun going back the other way but if you don’t mind the potholes (there are a couple I have discovered) your water bottles will eject from their bottle cage (cage my ass) like little rockets that you may never find again especially if the cars behind you think it’s a game and try to run them over for you... :(  but... the murder hill I can really fly down and carry enough speed to reach the top of the next hill which makes that section easier. Once you head past that and through the next downhill section the long stretch to the last mile to the house is mostly uphill some is not as bad as others but still by the time I got home I was a sweaty mess.

I didn’t let my first day stop me oh no, my second day I got up, got ready and looked outside and it was POURING lmao just my luck, well... we have just 1 car right now, my motorcycle is in the shop getting new brake lines and the bicycle is all I have so I suited up and off I went and soaked to the bone I got, my gear was still fairly wet by the time I went home that day. The benefit to riding in the rain and having showers at work is, I don’t wear a rain cover, who cares I’m not made of sugar right? The rain and wind keep you much cooler so that helps, other wise I’m just soggy which for a long ride would be miserable but 5 miles is totally no big deal.

Then yesterday it was still raining on my way to work but not as hard so that was actually very pleasant I dare say I enjoyed it. However yesterday, I made it up the murder hill without having to get off my bike! Woohoo!! Then last night my wife got done with her job early and offered to come get me at work and just put my bike in the back and I declined, I like riding, I told her it would be fine. It was 86 degrees yesterday when I left work so I was cooking and sweating but again, I enjoy the ride, I like pushing myself it makes me feel alive and I’m hoping in the long run will improve my fitness level and help me bring my weigh back down.

So there you go... I’m riding my bicycle to work now every day, though I do reserve the right to ride my motorcycle on days when it’s pouring because trying to dry my stuff out before the ride home is a bit of a pita lol otherwise, go out there and get it!

If you ever wanted to ride to work and you have the time, that is the big investment here, if you live within 10miles of your job it’s very doable, even 15 if you’re very fit, 20 becomes more trouble because now we’re talking 1hr to 1hr 20 minutes. I needed a rack and panniers because a backpack will put my arms to sleep and I can’t ride like that. I remember what it was like in HS and now I have carpal tunnel and bad arthritis in my thumbs and yeah no not gonna do it. 

I encourage anybody who has the desire, who has a bicycle worthy of the commute, to give it a shot, even if it’s just once, just to say you did, and if you can do it on the bike to work day/week/month well if the area you live in does that sort of thing there could be a free meal and swag in it for you. Here the LBS’s and some local food and sporting goods places are really big on it and get together and have rides and food and it was a little crazy I was sad I missed it.

I will probably start doing bits on my ride to work shenanigans, like how to fix a flat tire or more likely how NOT to fix a flat tire on the side of the road on your way to work and not take too much time so you’re not late hehe. Anyhow my peoples, have a great week, get outside, be happy and healthy!

[wizardingbias]

HP!headcanon - BTS V

|| WIZARDINGBIAS - where your fave bands live in hakho’s hogwarts au ||

Character Headcanons ↳ BTS V // Taehyung Marshall // Gryffindor

okay this boi will be the death of me and im not even a taehyung stan

Why is this boy a Gyffindor?

lemme tell ya listen up, buckle up, put on that strap

strap on

more under the cut hoes

such soft bebe

but also dangerous bebe

he is notorious for not giving a fuck about rules

like he used to

but then his mama was like

yolo my child

So in my au, taehyung has an incredibly liberal japanese mother who is very hippie-esque and he has a twin sister, and i chose wheein from mmm bc

fuck yeah

tae’s best friend in the entire world is his mother

but wheein comes a close second lets be honest

and growing up, taetae doesn’t really need much more than his sister and his mom, but he does wish his dad came home from ukraine a little bit more often

he’s a dragon trainer

it’s so gd cool, lil taetae gushes about it every time he meets someone new, and then he points at his eyes because they have golden flecks in them and the story is that his father was so exposed to dragon’s and dragon fire and dragon scales that a mutation occurred and golden flecks planted themselves in his eyes like the ambers of a fire

and both wheein and tae has them but only tae thinks they’re the coolest thing in the world

wheein is all like ‘?????’ bc her brother gets weird abt stuff like that

so

YEAR 1

taetae and wheein are so lucky to have each other tbh, because if not tae would roam around the entire train and probably make friends with the weird kids that accidentally but not-accidentally try to poison you

so thank merlin wheein is there to reel him into a compartment and keep him busy without getting into trouble

taetae needs a leash honest to god

it’s here lil 11 y/o taetae meets überly shy-

shy shy shy

-little Jimin but jimin is so cute and fluffy cheeked tae can’t contain himself when jimin asks if he can sit here with them

taehyung leaps at the answer

“yES!”

and they click so well and jimin blushes so much at taehyung’s compliments on his fluffy cheeks

and they show each other pictures of their cute little pets

taehyung loves animals so much and it’s totally okay if Jimin’s owl doesn’t like him rn because it’s beautiful and fluffy and jimin’s eyes are halfmoons as taehyung gushes over this pretty little baby owl

Carrot, Taehyung’s tabby cat,

is named carrot bc of the really really orange fur duh

looooooooooooovvvvessssss jimin so muuuccchhh

same carrot same

and taehyung grabs his portable camera, (wizarding technology has come so far to use polaroids to take wizarding pictures cuz that thing Colin Creevey used in the second hp film is just waaayyy too big boii), and takes a snapshot of carrot spreading his limbs out over Jimin’s small lap

its so cute

taehyung can’t

i cant either

and when Jimin and Tae are sorted into the same house, it’s gd amazing cuz yas gryffindor yas, and they jump into each others’ arms so dramatically when they meet each other at the table

everyone in the Great Hall coos at them

as they should

and everyone knows this friendship is gonna go down in the history books

yEAR 2

obviously, jimin and tae have hung out over the summer, and tae has introduced his best friend in the whole wide world to his mother who absolutely adores him

but not as much as taehyung adores jimin

and their entire summer is spent playing with wheein and her new found best friend hwasa and it’s great

lots of new friends

who are good influences

bc tae is totally the type to accidentally befriend the troublemakers and fit in so well with them and their antics lets be honest

but in year 2, he gets a lot of new friends as well, because he’s such a social butterfly and here at Hogwarts, people actually think tae’s dragon eyes story is cool thank you very much, wheein 

*snappy sass fingers*

and he makes friends with all the people in his year, like guys named joshua, and jeonghan and a girl named jisoo and so many more

and he loves hanging out with so many friends

and being able to greet them fondly every time they pass each other in the hallways

his eyes light up as he waves

don’t imagine squishy little gryffindor tae smiling like the whole world is at peace okay. don’t. your heart will hurt.

but jimin suddenly seems a little distant

doesn’t really wanna eat together anymore

always so busy

and tae’s like

“we’re second years. there isn’t that much going on”

but eventually jimin tells him

like in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep

that jimin feels left out

replaced

and tae’s heart hurts and he cries for making jimin feel like that because of course he’s not replaced, jimin is his bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world

and things get better from there

thank god bc imagining mini jimin all sad and sitting alone bc he thinks his only friend has gone off and gotten newer, better friends hurts my heart, my soul, and my entire ancestry

YEar 3 is a fucking wild one

bc suddenly, wheein has a stalker that refuses to let her go

and even tae, who is notorious for having no boundaries, is freaked out by this older guy prying on his sister like hell no mister, back the fuck away

but the dude’s a fucking 6th year (which makes it even creepier) and is literally twice taehyung’s height and abt 3x jimin’s height

and this is where tae’s real gryffindor instincts come into full gear

bc he makes an incredibly intricate plan and invites all the other third years and the whole of the gryffindor house to help him send a message to this weird stalker

and on a cold ass winter morning, a helpful seventh year levitates the stalker’s sleeping body out of his bed and all the way outside, keeping a warming spell around the boy’s body so he doesn’t wake up

and out on the quidditch field, there are about 100 students standing ready with bursting whip cream orbs (something taehyung invented himself that are meant to burst upon contact)

and as soon as the seventh year sets down the stalker and removes the charms, taehyung yells on the top of his lungs “fIREEEEEEE!” and the stalker abruptly wakes up, is suddenly pelted with bursting cream balls, and is freezing in his underwear as a sort of ultimate humiliation

it’s safe to say that that stalker will continue on the rest of his hogwarts life with this humiliation lingering

and tae smiles wickedly, so proud of himself

he doesn’t even mind the two months worth of detention he gets

bc no one does something as creepy as that to anyone

especially not his sister

and gets away with it

Year 3 is also the year jimin and tae discover a very lonely little slytherin first year eating alone in the courtyard instead of in the Great hall

and instinctively, taehyung drags jimin over with their lunch to eat next to the boy

and they drop next to the slytherin whilst casually continuing on with their mindless conversation

this is repeated for about 2 weeks before the slytherin boy says anything, and when he does it’s just before tae and jimin leave, and he grabs onto tae’s sleeve and says

“thank you”

in the softest voice ever

and taehyung melts for this boy

same tae same

bc jeongguk, as he introduces himself later on, is the most adorable, especially now that jimin isn’t as puffy and chubby as he was two years ago

and they become great ass friends and tae encourages jeongguk to make more friends in his own year bc it won’t hurt and he’s not gonna be able to be there for his classes and jeongguk should always have someone by his side

bc it’s wrong to leave people lonely

tae firmly believes every one should have a friend

jimin strongly agrees

and it’s the cutest thing ever to see jeongguk smile widely at that

my heart for jeongguk in this au omfg his backstory is just so sad so this really hits me in the feels okay, if you haven’t read jk’s profile, fucking do that so this can have it’s full effect my heaaaarttttttttttt

lemme tell you that lots of stuff happens in year 4 for tae

first of all, taehyung discovers that divinations is

a

ma

zing

and he and a hufflepuff in his year named taeyong become such good friends after they’re paired up for this one project and they both have their minds blown by divinations

but obviously, he still likes care of magical creatures the very best. it’s been his fave since last year and it’s only getting so much cooler every year

and herbology is getting cooler as well but only because it’s tying into the care for magical creatures syllabus

either way

this is the year jimin suddenly is obsessed over quidditch

like all summer, the only thing jimin has been talking about is quidditch this and quidditch that so obviously it’s not a surprise that jimin wants to try out for the team

except

he drags taehyung with him even though tae has 100000000% no interest in the sport

like he’s not a bad flyer, he was actually pretty amazing in first year when they were learning how to use a broom

he just doesn’t know any rules

but bc jimin is so cute when he smiles with his half moon eyes and bounces on the balls of his feet like a lil child, taehyung indulges his bestest friend bc tae is awesome like that

and tbh the tryouts weren’t all that hard

actually pretty fun

and it turns out Tae is amazing with a bat

and both him and jimin make the cut easily with happy smiles on their faces

taehyung eventually learns to love the sport

it’s amazing as a stress relief

especially since O.W.L.’s are coming up next year and wheein is doing amazing in all her classes and he isn’t

whatever

tae you don’t have to be amazing at your subjects just do what makes you happy

His mom is btw the most amazing person ever

she sends him manga all the time and tae hides it from all his friends until he’s read the latest issue of one piece or something

and then he hands it out to his friends who literally pay him to read the latest issue and dayum how many lemon sherberts can he buy with this much money????

why are you in slytheirn

but ofc he always gives jimin and jeongguk the issues first

for free

bc they are his bestest friends

but his mom also sends him porn which is totally not weird, albeit a slight bit shocking at first, but his mom is so liberal and open about anything and everything like she even sends wheein jumbo packs of tampons and silk pads bc she knows the cotton ones dig in her areas

why does tae know this? bc they’re all really open with each other duh

omg but jimin would be so scandalised to see porn on the breakfast table just sitting there

barbecue sauce on my titties

Year 5555555

This is the year all students get some sort of existential crisis

people are growing up, mentally and physically, people are getting into somewhat serious relationships, identity crisis mode, all that jazz

yall know exactly what im talking about don’t ge triggered im here for you

and obvs tae is different from everyone else

like he doesn’t get why people are all of a sudden paying attention to their hair everyday, or why girls are wearing makeup, and boys for that matter

“jiMIN IS THAT EYELINER WHAT?????”

“how do you even know what eyeliner is?”

“I like watching makeup tutorials with my sister”

“that’s.....weirdly cute, bro. watch with me next time.”

*boxy smile* “okai”

But the weirdest thing yet is probably all the flying heart letters he keeps getting, like these fluttering pink confession paper thingies are really cute but tae doesn’t for the life of him understand why he’s suddenly getting a bunch of them

“you have really pretty eyes” 

tae likes those the best tbh #DragonForLife

“you look so cool playing quidditch”

those are pretty nice too bc Tae feels hella cool playing quidditch

“your ears look soft”

Tae’s pretty sure that’s a joke one from jeongguk but he isn’t too sure

either way, people are starting to pay attention to him and slowly, little by little, he’s getting a tiny bit self conscious too, so obviously, he confides in jimin for some help

“maybe you want to switch up your look too?”

“i don’t wanna be mainstream. I wanna be main-meme”

*gang signs*

but it’s been on his mind enough so that by the christmas break he whines to his mama that taetae is no wonger cool anymwore 

i failed at baby language in high school okay? 

so his mom totally helps him out and dyes his hair fUCKING LAVENDER 

this will forever be the greatest look tae ever had bring it back

and when he comes back from the hollidays HE GETS SO MANY MORE FLUTTERING HEART LETTERS ITS INSANE

like honestly, they’re everywhere

and they’re the type to follow him around if he doesn’t open them and read them

and it’s so embarrassing

why does this even exist????

he’s kinda comforted by the fact that he’s not the only one around school who has them frantically following them like even jeongguk, certified loner and awkward bunny, has a few following him around whilst jimin reads all the ones he’s got almost immediately bc lil chimchim hates attention okay

VALENTINES DAY

WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT

TAEHYUNG OFFICIALLY HATES THE COLOUR PINK

NEVER WANTS TO SEE IT IN HIS LIFE EVER AGAIN

FUCK THAT SHIT

In year 6 however

things get a little dramatic okay

bc just like everyone else, tae’s hormones are going wild

he’s a sixteen year old boy and he’s starting to get sensitive okay?

and he’s like faced with a major dilemma

besides his almost failed Arithmancy grade but who really cares about that when he’s gonna be a dragon trainer like his dad, right?

he’s kinda

you know

feeling things

like

feelings

but not just any kind of feelings, but feelings for a certain friend, who’s not supposed to make him feel all of these feelings, but taetae can’t help feeling these feelings for this certain friends

uuuuggggghhhhhhhhh

so he tries to confide in jimin without being too obvious

bc obvs he’s not supposed to be crushing on jeongguk

oh fuck, that wasn’t supposed to be revealed

uuuggghhhhhhhhh x2

but jimin gives him shit advice and tells him to confess to the guy he likes, obviously not understanding the severity of the situation

thanks for nothing chimchim

so he kinda just avoids jeongguk for a while, immersing himself in extra quidditch practice and extra time in the forbidden forest with hagrid

he’s basically hagrid’s apprentice now

but winning quidditch matches and feeding exotic animals isn’t really cutting it bc he gets so stressed out whenever he has to avoid jeongguk

bc he knows jeongguk’s really sensitive about friends and social stuff so tae should totally not just drop him like this, that goes against his morals

everyone should have a friend, remember????

so tae kinda suppresses the warm affection and goes on with life normally, apologising to a sulky jeongguk for being totally MIA

“I was totally not like in love with you for a minute and decided to do the most cliché lets-avoid-our-best-friend-slash-crush or anything, what are you talking about???”

*nervous laughter*

Seventh year comes along

and Tae has somewhat of a better grip on himself

over the summer he’s been able to evaluate his life, where he’s heading, what he wants to do, who he wants to be

obviously with a lot of long ass talks with wheein bc she’s the only one he can actually talk about everything with

yes, that means his jeongguk feeeeeeeeliiiiiinnnngggggssss as well

and he decides that it’s better to focus on himself rather than confess and get into a bunch of awkward situations with jeongguk and with jimin for that matter

and year seven is about true self discovery

Exploring TaeTae, sundays at nine on discovery channel 

he’s seventeen ffs he’s gotta figure out a plan for after Hogwarts bros

and all he knows is he wants to be like his dad and work with animals and dragons

even tho he’s never seen a dragon in real life

so he sends a letter to his dad who gets him a summer internship at the dragon sanctuary he works at

longest yeaaaaaaahhhh boiiiiii everrr

so with that set, his fucking fingers tingling in anticipation, Tae gets Wheein to help him study for N.E.W.T.’s

and it’s so cute bc imagine jimin, tae, wheein, and hwasa with ruffled hair and pencils behind their ears (bc who the fuck uses quills outside of official examination) taking up the entire gryffindor common room room with countless of empty coffee mugs and balls of scrap parchment all around them

reminds me of stressful times nvm its not cute anymore

and then there’s quidditch

and even though they don’t win the cup, it’s okay cuz at least they didn’t come last

tho the rest of the team is sulking pretty bad

gd gryffindor pride

Tae’s just glad that the last year is a pretty damn good one

oh by the way

tae’s dyed his hair back to it’s original dark brown bc it felt more like himself, soft and sweet with a dark mystery

“lol wtf tae so dramatic”

“shut up, this is my narration for my discovery channel show, wheein”

But seventh year turns out to be pretty okay after all

Tae passes all his N.E.W.T.’s 

(thanks to wheein obvs)

and Tae gets free butterbeer whenever he goes to Hogsmeade

and the dragon intership

pretty sweet bro

when graduation comes, Taehyung doesn’t cry like a bunch of his sappy peers

he just wears the biggest boxy smile ever

bc he’s so happy

and jimin looks fucking ugly crying

but so soft

they take a pic with the polaroid camera taehyung used when they first met

he’s posted all the pics over the years on his dorm wall but now he keeps it in a shrinkable album that he carries on his keychain so he can bring it everywhere he goes

and under the picture of him forcing jimin to pose with him for a photo, snotty and crying and red faced, it says 

“7 awesome years end with snot and love” 

and in the picture he’s kissing jimin’s puffy cheek sloppily and it’s so cuteeeeeee

and Tae takes pics with everyone, forces jeongguk into several of them, and wheein and hwasa, and with joshua from his charms class and jeonghan from Arithmancy and seokjin’s little sister jisoo and taeyong from divinations and yuta from the slytherin quidditch team and everyone else bc it’s all so cute and amazing and people are crying 

what a time to be alive

i cannot with this image in my head like im about to graduate myself and i’m gonna cry so much nooooooo

and that’s it really

awesome

eventful

happy

not so happy

perfect

↳ Taehyung’s official profile

okay there we go, hope you liked this one :) Feel free to request in my ask who you want me to do next ^^

Seokjin | Yoongi | Hoseok | Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Jungkook (the rest coming soon)

[athleisure-aesthetic]

This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix