#except I had no idea how to do the wings haha

[new-revenant]

sorry I stumbled across your teddy Danny au on the tag and just saw the ask about him eating and why can't he just phase the food into his body? and it getting absorbed somehow. like a single cell organism almost. like imagine a little teddy holding a chicken wing to it's little mouth and it just going right through the fabric and reappearing with a piece missing a second later.

I saw that there are power restrictions at play but maybe since it's food it could be an exception because of like. survival instincts and stuff. but I don't know the details about how his powers are locked away so maybe I'm saying nonsense.

sorry if this is annoying I just had a thought and had to share

Don’t worry, you’re not annoying at all. And tbh, I did not think of that haha. And I also don’t know the restrictions of his power lock, because I am/was making stuff up as I got more asks.

I just never pictured him eating I guess. Just lounging around more or less? Since he isn’t just possessing the stuffed bunny, he’s stuck in it. And it doesn’t have a mouth or any digestive track, so why would he need to eat ya know? Or get tired or need to do any other bodily functions.

But I really do love everyone’s ideas and takes for this AU. There honestly isn’t any real canon, but there is my canon and I may like some ideas more than others. But if you want Danny to just absorb food(you’re idea is really funny btw), then that’s your canon! And I love it! It’s so cool and I love people interacting with my stuff and getting their own ideas-the joy of creation!

[offtorivendell]

The Weaver's Song

Disclaimer: well I thought I had time to edit this properly and tidy it up, but joke's on me, apparently the entirety of HOFAS has leaked in Portuguese over night. That'll teach me (haha, never) to leave something in my drafts for months. So this may or may not be correct, and YOU might know that, but I'm not going to read the whole thing until I have the original version.

If someone has already posted this theory, I'm sorry!

Spoilers: this contains information from ACOTAR, TOG and CC series books 1 and 2. Please do not discuss spoilers in the comments until after HOFAS has officially been published, or in the reblogs without warning (and ideally a read more option)!

This may be fanciful, but I think I may know what The Weaver was singing about in ACOMAF... it was a metaphor for Prythian history and Void travel.

“There were two sisters, they went playing, To see their father’s ships come sailing … And when they came unto the sea-brim The elder did push the younger in.”

Theia's two daughters, as @silverlinedeyes has posted before, she thinks the second daughter brought Truth-Teller back to Prythian through a rift - though was there a third, unknown sibling, as @wingedblooms and I have theorised?

Playing - playing music? Music as the universal magic/language? Urd’s music?

Whether or not they're also Fionn's daughters, if literal, the ships could be people travelling through the Void/Rift to Midgard… the Feyre, the Nesta, the Elain come to mind, except maybe the Selene, the Eos and the Helios?

The Haldren Sea sounds like it could have a rift/portal in it (similar imagery to the Court of Nightmares/Hewn City). Port/portal?

Did Helena push her younger sister into the rift, to make her return through the Void and save Prythian from the Asteri, per @silverlinedeyes?

If this was then case then Helena knowingly sacrificed herself.

“Sometimes she sank, and sometimes she swam, ’Til her corpse came to the miller’s dam.”

Did she travel through multiple worlds until she reached Prythian, similar to Aelin as the red star? Or was this after returning to Prythian and living her life she then travelled again across the murky realm?

Miller's dam - dam could be their mother? The Mother? Silba?

A dam is also a body of water. The Cauldron?

Miller is one of the oldest human professions - milling grains for bread.

Miller is also a type of moth - moth wings at the HOW library, with their Cauldron/bowl-type statues at the entrance?

What if the Void/Cauldron is the Miller, and Chaos/Cauldron's water is the Dam?

What if the Void/Cauldron is the earth, Chaos/Cauldron's water is the dam, and the Miller is the hypothetical third sibling?

How do the underground waterways and/or the pool of Starlight in the Spring Court fit in?

“But what did he do with her breastbone? He made him a viol to play on. What’d he do with her fingers so small? He made pegs to his viol withall.”

The viol is an instrument; is the language of the universe a song? This would support my idea that Singing is a language of the gods, and Sight/messages from the gods could be a form of Singing.

Breastbone, spells and bonds are threads, viol strings? Pegs tighten/tune the strings. Witchy and sorcery spell vibes, but also hello PUPPET VIBES. Who is/will the Cauldron using as a puppet?

“And what did he do with her nose-ridge? Unto his viol he made a bridge. What did he do with her veins so blue? He made strings to his viol thereto.”

Nose - smells, Azriel can smell the Elucien bond… because it's discordant (theory on the way)? Amren could smell Feysand’s bond, how?

Bridge - I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife. Paint that when we get home. - ACOWAR, chapter 69. Truth-Teller connecting with the Starsword.

"A violin bridge is a maple piece that sits atop the violin and lifts the strings above the fingerboard in a way that allows you to play both single notes and double stops. It transmits the string vibrations to the soundbox (body of the violin)." It's a conduit. Could Carranam be relevant here?

Blue - Azriel's siphons, the veins in Elain's eyes in the tent scene when she Looked for the Suriel. Can she see the threads?

Viols have six strings - three brothers and three sisters?

“What did he do with her eyes so bright? On his viol he set at first light. What did he do with her tongue so rough? ’Twas the new till and it spoke enough.”

Eyes bright - like Elain's when she's in pain? Pain is a link to the divine, do her eyes go bright when she's using her magic?

Eyes at first light - Sight/Singing at dawn? Eos?

First light - firstlight?

To set at something, to go after it… with an instrument playing him through the Void? Someone is after the firstlight and will go after it. The Asteri and Bryce. Mystics? Elain?

Till - as in the soil/gardening? More likely a boat's till/tiller; did Theia's second daughter’s tongue become the rudder that allowed “the Miller” to steer his way through the water/Void/space between… Lightsingers? Mystics? And there were three ships named after Feyre, Nesta and Elain Archeron.

Mor speaks the truth, Elain speaks what she Sees.

“Then bespake the treble string, ‘O yonder is my father the king.’”

“Then bespake the second string, ‘O yonder sits my mother the queen.’”

“Then bespake the strings all three, ‘Yonder is my sister that drowned me.’”

The father/king and mother/queen have been separated, and are in different locations.

Different worlds?

Fionn/the father/king is in Prythian.

Theia/the mother/queen "sits" somewhere else… a hell/Hel realm? Sits on a throne?

The sister/Helena is in Midgard.

I really think that the Weaver was singing to nobody/Feyre about Prythian's ancient history, along with the crossover - and potential instructions on how to navigate the Void to "go to Hel" - all the way back in ACOMAF! When she just happened to be collecting a six pointed star sapphire ring (six strings?) for Rhys?

Will each sister become a magical, Singing tiller for the bat boys' wings (as rudders), guiding and guarding them through the Void? It gives a whole new depth of meaning to Papa Archeron's fleet going down in a storm!

This also fits for Vassien, with Lucien being the magical tiller and Vassa as the firebird. And even possibly More and Emerie, if her wings get healed, or she gets her own Pegasus! Could it parallel the way they had to fly through holes in the Wall back in the OT, before Hybern destroyed it with the Cauldron (which just happens to contain Void)?

Will they be the light in the dark?

SJM you wicked bloody genius, this cannot be a coincidence. 🙏🏻

PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO SPOIL HOFAS FOR OTHERS WITH DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THE LEAKS!

[damnation-if]

Care to tell some facts about the ROs?

ough... i always find 'facts' asks intimidating because i'm never sure if the facts i'm producing are any good haha. hopefully these aren't too boring!

Arianis:

they enjoy gardening; they never stay in one place for long but whenever they move they have to lug around all their collection of exotic orchids and rare plants. they especially like cross-breeding orchids to create new strains (they also play music for their plants)

they dated a vampire for a while in the past (the vampire sort of considered them his thrall) but got kind of bored of it... they're less bored with being a warlock so far

if the MC chooses the travelling entertainers background, they've actually met Arianis once before in the past

Heluur:

he didn't originally have his wings; Twilit had to make them and graft them onto him, and because his unique nature is resistant to chaos and change, his body is still dealing with trying to reject them even after millennia

Twilit and Newyneth are who he would consider his "best friends;" he considers himself kind of an unofficial uncle to their children (which is just Suchebh in Twilit's case)

nobody in Hell, including archdemons, wants to get on his bad side

Lithiana:

like the other concubi, she was "born" in the mortal world; she in particular was created partially-accidentally by a weird sex cult that wanted to summon a demon but had no idea how to do it and just kind of messed around until they managed to call enough chaos into the metaphorical Shape of a person and she was born

she was the last concubi to come into existence (before MC) - once the gods realised that humans could accidentally create demons, they created the Inquisitors to hunt down humans consorting with demonic magic

she doesn't remember much about her early days except for constant feelings of terror, but it left her with a kind of wistful nostalgia for the mortal world that she can't do much about

Malkorath:

they're not really fond of Beds, due in part to the combination of a lot of their anatomy (they can't lie on their side for example because of their horns), so they kind of sleep belly-down on top of a big heap of cushions when they have to sleep

they're Not into bondage shit at all because their creator kept them chained down in a cage until he would release them to kill people for him... they don't find it sexy at all lmfao, only traumatic

they were built purposely with a body temperature much lower than other demons so that they can survive travel into the mortal world (i may have mentioned this one already, i can't remember lmao)

Suchebh:

they don't have a Bad relationship with Twilit per se, but they do constantly feel like they have to compete with them for notoreity and find a way to get out from underneath their shadow (Twilit is more or less oblivious to this)

they would Never Ever admit it, but they're definitely at least a little jealous of the relationship that some of Newyneth's children have with her, which makes them do catty or manipulative things sometimes

they are actually the person who braids Malkorath's hair for them

Twilit:

like several of the other archdemons, their true form is actually hidden somewhere in the mortal world (it would take too much effort and be too provocative for the gods to go about removing them), but unlike the other archdemons theirs is not split into pieces (though they did transfer it out of Hell in chunks lmfao)

they have a Decent relationship with some of the more neutral gods, but they're definitely considered a wild card by the more militant ones... they are absolutely considered unpredictable and hard to handle

they are generally very proud of Suchebh in their own way, but they're quite bad at expressing that in a way that Suchebh understands smndfgb

[cbedfordart]

Hey! I’ve been following you for a while and I really love your art, it’s absolutely stunning and I love the way you paint and capture anatomy. I know this is a bit of a broad question but I was wondering if you had any tips on getting better at painting digitally and studying anatomy, maybe more specifically blending, colour picking, and structuring anatomy in a way that looks somewhat realistic?

Thanks and I'm glad you enjoy my work long enough to be following me for this long! I definitely love drawing a naked body that's for sure haha. In terms of tips for getting better there's a few things I can mention but it's going to fall broadly in the general answer of "study", because this is the most sure fire way to be able to understand what it is you're trying to emulate in your art. There are different ways to study, and they teach something slightly different. For example, doing studies from life (live drawing classes) help me understand movement in a way studying from a photograph cant, simply because you're seeing the same model in different poses in real time, you can see how the fat and muscle moves around as they shift to different positions. So they're not technically moving the whole time, but you're still seeing some movement there, and understanding what sticks to what while it rotates and bends. Studying from photographs can help give you time to do some real deep dives and investigate where different bones/muscles sit while someone is in a particular position. There's also the opportunity for understanding how shadows may be formed by the body as typically photographers are more conscious of how the subject may be lit than what may be available in a live drawing class. Beware though, as more things are photoshopped than you realise, not all photos represent reality. Especially glam and fashion photos. It doesn't mean its bad to want to have these effects on your work but just be conscious they might not always be anatomy accurate if that's what you're striving for. I sometimes make a conscious decision to go against what is anatomically correct for a certain effect myself. A book I have been recommending for years for anatomy is Dr. Paul RIcher's "Artistic Anatomy". It's great for understanding muscle structure intimately - it's designed specifically for artists, but with the idea of trying to stylise the diagrams as little as possible for the sake of understanding the human form. There's a lot of great info and detail in here, but beware, there is not a lot of variety in body structure (at least not in the edition I have which is missing female anatomy I think already so I'm not sure what else I don't have in here). So you'll be able to understand function a lot from here but you wont be able to learn a lot about fatter body types sadly.

Colour picking is probably the most difficult for me to explain easily, as I have spent a long time winging it, then studying it, then being really experimental with it. I could write a lot a lot about this but to spare making this post any longer I'll refer to another fun book just for getting started on some frequent and common terms called "Color and Light" by James Gurney.

I also love that he uses like, dinosaurs for everything in here lol. It's a great starting point that can give you some go to ideas that you can then experiment from there. It's not very authoritarian (or at least that's what I feel), and doesn't push anything forward as a hard and fast rule, just showing what affects some colour combinations might instil in someone.

As a whole, I've gotten better at painting digitally by studying traditional painting techniques. They theories are basically transferrable one to one with some few exceptions. I tend to blend my colours by simply using a soft round brush in Photoshop with a low opacity. Much the same way I would with a real canvas, with a large round brush and diluted colour. I hope this answers your questions in some way. I tried to be not too specific only because this answer would be at least another 30k words lol because this is something i think a lot about! I love technique! If I ever stream again, feel free to pop in and ask more questions where I might be able to show some stuff in real time! Not sure when that will happen though!

Also the way i do stuff isn't a "correct" way either. I like painting from imagination so this is how I make that work. Some people like to only work with references for every piece, and that is a completely legit way to create stunning art as well. Good luck!

[we-cool-beans]

Excuse me! Will the wings au ever get a fic??? I don't know if it'd ever been mentioned and I was curious since it's one of my favs

Ehfbwjdbjs?!! Wah! Thanks so very very much that makes me so happy to hear ;u;

As much as I would love for that to happen, I am not the best writer in the slightest haha.

It was meant to be a fic to start off though! With a completely different idea! But the longer I tried to plot it out, the more I got different Ideas for this current au and decided to scrap the first draft 😅

If anyone wants to make a fic of the wings au, you are more than free too! I would sob and cry immensely and cherish the fic to the ends of time as well lol!!

The original wings AU idea is under the cut if anyone is interested :)!

Its the basic plot of HLVRAI, except Benrey has always been a winged alien species.

In his more human form, he just (very very uncomfortably and at times painfully) keeps his wings under his uniform. Boss fight Benrey has a completely different form (spoilers for future wing au stuff I am still working on)

Fic would have started off a looong while after hlvrai, Benrey respawns in the middle of winter and wanders to Gordons house. Gordon finds him absolutely messed up (im a sucker for “benrey respawns with his final boss injuries and Gordon/science team has to help him heal” aus haha) and basically passing out in the snow, taking him in to help warm him up.

Gordon tends to Benreys wounds until he wakes and tries to keep him warm. Benrey begins complaining about being uncomfortable and needing to “stretch”, Gordon has no idea what in the world this means, but encourages Benrey to do so, mainly due to mostly forgiving Benrey and wanting to try to fix their relationship.

Wings reveal happens, Gordon tries to keep his calm but is also loosing his mind trying to comprehend that Benrey had this under his vest. The. Entire. Time.

Benreys wings are obviously very messed up. Gordon had a pet bird growing up who had issues preening itself, so he knows how to preen wings as well as a human could, so he helps Benrey fix up his wings. Gayness ensues :)

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Secret Meetings

@cilil Here is the result of so many late-night discussions...Firebird, another ship you've injected into me with a long, scary needle haha

I hope this is to your liking <3

Characters: Eönwë x Gothmog

Words: 2 410

Warnings: tension, trauma, attempted masturbation, a handjob, and an abduction, NSFW

“This is a terrible idea,” Mairon hissed, eyeing the Balrog in front of him with evident dismay. “Why would you heed the call of that feathered fool?”

Rolling his eyes, Gothmog shrugged lopsidedly; he had come to inform his superiors of his appointment, not to ask for their permission. The perimeter was safe, and all the regular guards were at the ready—there was consequently no reason for him to stay in Angband when he was needed elsewhere.

“Let him have fun,” Melkor intervened, hanging off his throne in a contortion that was both exceedingly enticing and truly alarming to his lieutenant and lover. “It’s so boring here anyway.”

“He might have important information,” Gothmog grunted, trying to save face.

“You’re going to fuck the bird—you know it, we know it, everyone except Manwë knows it,” Thuri commented in a bored tone, making Gothmog jump. He had hitherto not noticed his colleague, hanging from the rafters, and—with her in the mix—he could but accept his defeat and slink out of the fortress in mortified silence.

In his heart of hearts, he was torn—he had never actually done the deed of which they all spoke so flippantly, but it seemed easier to just let them labour under that misconception than to explain what was really going on.

In truth, he had clandestinely met Eönwë—herald to Manwë, the Relentless—more than once, and he had always been struck by three things: firstly, the bird was mouth-wateringly appetising, secondly, he was incredibly skilled in warfare, and thirdly, Eönwë was suffering from an insidious, evidently crippling kind of trauma.

Even now, Gothmog could not fully comprehend what folly had moved him to offer his help initially—he surely had never expected Eönwë to take him up on the offer—but he had always known that he would heed the call if it ever was to come.

Of course, he also did agree that it was potentially reckless and definitely dangerous to meet an avowed foe without the support and reinforcement of at least a few of his minions.

Nevertheless, he didn’t want to spook Eönwë, and so he sallied forth bravely, once again failing to realise that he was being followed by the sneaky, lethally silent bat; Thuringwethil was often exasperated by his antics, but she was also a true friend and would never have allowed him to put himself in peril without back-up.

“Bird?” Gothmog called as soon as he reached their secret rendezvous spot, hidden between forbiddingly jagged rocks and dense, dark trees. “Are you there? What’s the matter? Did the pile of shit your Master calls a tower collapse?”

He sniggered at his own joke but was startled out of his merriment by the sudden appearance of Eönwë, looking absolutely wretched. His clothes hung limply off his muscular frame as if he had been doused in water before taking off, and his sensual, full mouth was downturned and tense.

“What happened? Are you all right?” A different kind of alarm made Gothmog’s scales tingle as he took in the picture of abject misery before him.

“You are an amoral demon, right?” Eönwë asked, his voice so absurdly hopeful that Gothmog was not sure how to answer. Despite the words being undeniably insulting, it was clear that Eönwë was hoping for a confirmation.

“One might say that,” Gothmog finally replied cautiously. “Why? Are you in need of amoral deeds?”

When the winged hero merely nodded, the fire spirit almost burst into flame out of sheer confusion and astonishment.

“I am in a…tough spot,” Eönwë muttered, looking at the ground beneath his feet as if bowed by unbearable shame. “The predicament has gone on for quite some time now, and I really don’t know what to do anymore.”

On account of the considerable size difference between them, Gothmog decided to sit down on the cool, rocky ground to be less threatening—he certainly did not want to give Eönwë the impression that he was judging or patronising him for whatever absurd confession he was about to let loose.

As a matter of fact, he had heard the most nonsensical and alarming things from the winged Maia before—from letting his Vala do unspeakably questionable things to him to being afraid that someone might steal his soul if he enjoyed a kiss too much—so the Lord of Balrogs was struck dumb by this new, entirely unexpected peak of naïve idiocy when it was finally put into words.

“I…can’t get it under control,” Eönwë murmured sorrowfully, pointing at his groin. “I just feel—strange the whole time, and I…am afraid that someone will notice and—”

The distended breeches—looking suspiciously soiled already—unambiguously told a tale of woe and discomfort which drew a clucking, empathetic sound from the tight throat of the Balrog; he was no stranger to the painful throes of unwanted and untimely arousal, and his heart went out to the disconsolate bird.

“Did you try to…you know…take care of it?” Gothmogh then asked sheepishly, mimicking vigorous masturbation.

“Yes, but I think I am not doing it right—it’s not working! Can I show you? Maybe you’ll have some pointers for me.”

The tremulous note of reluctant trust and utter despair in his voice made Gothmog suppress a guffaw of disbelief; instead, he nodded very seriously and leaned back on his elbows, schooling his face into a mien of benevolent neutrality.

He had never seen Eönwë entirely naked thus far, so the vicious, almost angry struggle of the herald with his own fine garments was another welcome but highly disconcerting surprise.

As soon as he had cast off his raiment, Eönwë proceeded to encircle his half-hard cock in a vice-like grip and tug at it brutally.

Jumping to his feet, Gothmog closed his own clawed fingers around the white-knuckled hand. “Slow down, bird. Do you want to tear it off?” he said, trying to make his voice sound playful and light.

“Maybe,” Eönwë groaned. “It has certainly caused me enough trouble to warrant such a drastic step.”

With a regretful, reprimanding shake of his impressively bulky head, Gothmog pried Eönwë’s cramped fingers off his by now fully erect cock and lifted them to his fiery maw.

“Look here, bird, you have a lovely body there. Truly, that is a truly admirable, charming form which perfectly complements your sweet nature,” he cooed, pressing little kisses on the trembling hand of his inveterate enemy. “You are so much closer to the other Valar—I’d recommend consulting Yavanna, Vána, or even Aiwendil about this. Maybe, it’s just your…well…season.”

Huge, blank eyes gazed into his pleadingly, and Gothmog felt his heart mellow.

“Now, I understand that this is not a nice state to be in—especially after everything you’ve told me about the expectations and rules of your home—but if you’d let me, I can try to help.”

“Yes,” Eönwë almost sobbed. “Yes, I thought that you might be able to assist me. You’re—you don’t care about these things, do you?”

It was an insult, an accusation, and a touchingly vulnerable plea all at once.

“Tell me what it is like,” Gothmog asked gently and accepted without protesting when Eönwë wrenched his hand free and turned around as if he was unable to bear being perceived during the stammering, halting explanation of absolutely natural and normal experiences of carnal lust.

“I just—I wake up and it is there, this need, this yearning, and I don’t understand. It’s like being expected to know the answer to a question that has never been put to me, and it annoys me. Throughout the day, I feel as if I am about to burst into flame—no offence to you—and yet I am so paralyzingly cold all the time. Something is missing, and I know I need it, I’ll die if I don’t find it, but I don’t even know where to start looking or what I am seeking.”

Humming in sympathy, Gothmog pondered these words for a long moment.

He had the overwhelming urge to speak to his masters for—while Melkor knew and understood needs and impulses better than anybody else—Mairon would know exactly how to proceed; he was a prodigy in the making and pursuing of plans.

Unfortunately, neither one of them was available, and so Gothmog simply followed his instincts.

“Let’s start with the easiest part,” he rumbled comfortingly and pulled Eönwë onto his lap and wrapped his solid, warming arms around that shivering frame. “Better?”

“Yes,” Eönwë admitted. “You are so hot—warm, I mean, but also—”

He hiccupped frenetically. “See? I am doing it again! I am bad—all my thoughts and actions are despicable!”

“Don’t worry, so am I,” Gothmog laughed and carded his sharp claws carefully through the dense, fluffy feathers covering Eönwë’s broad wings. The full-body shiver and suppressed moan this tiny caress provoked emboldened him, and he repeated his movement with a little more pressure. “Do you feel closer to that answer now?”

“Maybe a little?” Eönwë squeaked in a breathless voice as his head tilted backwards to come to rest against Gothmog’s smouldering, gem-covered shoulder with a muted thud. “I should not enjoy this—”

“But you do? Tell yourself that I am just one of the terrible, wicked defilers Manwë always warns you about,” the Balrog whispered, denying his own deeper, better nature in the name of bringing succour to one in need. “None of this is your fault!”

“Will you steal my soul if I let you kiss me?”

“Yes, but just a tiny bit. You know, we Balrogs love evilness so much that we will suck it out from others to have more of it,” Gothmog fibbed even as he snaked his hands around Eönwë’s torso to let his gleaming claws rake across the taut skin of his stomach all the way up to his woefully neglected, oversensitive nipples.

“You may then,” Eönwë moaned, arching into that first touch with self-forgotten eagerness and twisting his head—taking full advantage of his nature’s mobility—to welcome the searing, blinding kiss that was pressed upon his trembling lips.

“Let’s try this again,” Gothmog groaned, willing his own cock not to breach containment in some ludicrous way that would freak Eönwë out.

Then, taking that shivering white hand into his own, he guided it towards the gently swaying, abundantly leaking cock and wrapped Eönwë’s fingers around it loosely once more.

“This is not your enemy,” he hummed. “I am.”

“I don’t like this,” Eönwë cried, jerking his arm to pull back. “This is wrong—I don’t want to do this.”

Then, a mere moment later, he added pitifully, “Can’t you…do it?”

No, Gothmog had never penetrated Eönwë, and—by the way this meeting was going—he would not do so anytime soon either, but he obliged happily, replacing the reluctant hand of righteous justice with his despicable paw of depravity.

“Nice and slow,” he said as he started pumping carefully. “You are good; thus, you deserve to be treated well, even by yourself.”

For some reason, it was tremendously important to him to get that point across. Once he got back to Angband, he would scour the few resources they had at their disposal and maybe even throw himself at Thuri’s mercy for information, but, for now, he would simply try to quench the torturous fires roasting his little bird alive.

Small gurgling sounds of dismay and involuntary rapture escaped Eönwë despite his best efforts to withstand and defy the menacing wave of red mist burgeoning in his befuddled mind.

One hand stroking a shivering wing and the other curled carefully around Eönwë’s cock, Gothmog peppered tiny, nipping kisses—the only concession he made to his disavowed desire for the creature writhing in his lap—onto that gleaming, overstretched throat, thrumming with mounting tension.

“It’s all right, bird,” he promised. “I am exactly the kind of demon who’d take advantage of your rare moment of weakness.”

Ground to dust under the pressure building in his core, Eönwë whined softly. “No,” he then said in a rough pant. “No, you’re helping me. You’re being—hmmm—so good to me. This—it’s the answer.”

For the first time since this whole ordeal had started, he felt light enough to take flight without wearing himself out—his whole body felt tense and powerful, warmed to the core by the heat emanating from the Balrog’s embrace, and Eönwë’s confused, contradictory senses told him undeniably that he was finally safe.

With a resonating shout, he bore down on Gothmog’s groin with all his weight as he came undone, spraying hot seed across their entangled legs and the unforgiving, uncaring ground.

Of course, he knew nothing of the agony he had put the other through when he collapsed against a rock-hard chest and tucked his golden-haired head under an angular chin like a fledgling taking refuge from a storm.

“Well done, bird,” Gothmog crooned. “Are you feeling better? Do you think you can go home and sleep? If you ever need me again, I am just a message away.”

He smiled wistfully at the barren rock and the ominous trees—he was far from satisfied, but his heart was at ease.

“The hell you will,” another voice cut in. “The bird is in heat—everyone can smell that from a mile off.”

“Thuri,” Gothmog screeched, startled and distraught. Of all the citizens of Angband, she was the one he did not want to be caught by with his pants down.

Eönwë as well bristled and dazedly groped for his weapon which he had discarded rather carelessly at the beginning of this most healing of experiences.

“Relax, chicken,” Thuri laughed. “Winged solidarity here. Gotty, listen, you cannot send him back like that. It will get a lot worse before it gets better, and he’s been one miserable sentient drumstick since he arrived here despite your ‘help’.”

“What do you propose then?” Gothmog snarled—the outburst would have been much more threatening if he had been standing rather than cradling a boneless Eönwë on his burning lap.

“In the name of the Dark Forces of Angband,” Thuri declared, her eyes flickering with delight, “I officially take Eönwë, Maia of Manwë, hostage. Come, bird, Gotty will draw you a hot bath and get you some nice seeds. And then, I hope, he’ll fuck you silly, because whatever this pity play was, it was painful to watch!”

Thank you so much for reading <3

-> Masterlist for November

[megabonniex]

Toon XML's Finishing extraction quote: "Woohoo! One down, more to go!" "I did good something!" "I can't wait for rap battle against someone!"

Toon XML's Activating ability quote: "Shoo, shoo! Back away from my friends!" "Better stay away from us!" "Not so fast!"

Toon XML's Descending to the next floor quote: "I'm so happy!" "I want to cheer anyone up!" "We'll never give up!" (If player doing solo as Toon XML, it replaces "We'll" with "I'll")

Toon XML Interacting with Toons:

Astro

Astro: Hey, xml? XML: What is it? Astro: When how you always stay happy at all times..? XML: Well, I had a good dream! Astro: Oh... I see

Boxten

XML: I love your music! Boxten: Thanks..? XML: Maybe you can use your music for rap battle! Boxten: Rap battle? Is that fun? XML: Yup! It's really fun! Boxten: Oh! I can't wait to try it!

Brightney

XML: Hey, brightney! Brightney: Hm? Yes, xml? XML: If you feel down, tell me to bright you up! Brightney: Is that puns..? XML: Yes, it is light puns! Brightney: Ah! Haha! Good one!

Goob

Goob: Hello, xml! XML: Oh, hey there! Goob: I heard you like hugs! Wanna hug? XML: Omg, yes!! I want hug!!

Pebble

XML: GASP! So adorable!! Pebble: Arf arf! XML: Who's good boy? You are good boy!! Pebble: Bworf!!

Razzle & Dazzle

Razzle & Dazzle: Awww! Look at him, he's good angel boy!! (What if he was terrifying..?) XML: Hello, razzle & dazzle! How was your day? If you feel sad, I can try to cheer you two up! Razzle & Dazzle: We're doing great! He's just sad at all times! (I'm always sad...) XML: Oh, I'll try to my best for cheer dazzle up!

Poppy

Poppy: Hey, xml! Are you hungry? XML: Of course, you should go buy something from restaurant! Poppy: Good idea! I know you have favorite food! XML: Oh! What is it..? Poppy: Pepperoni pizza! XML: Holy, you DO remember my favorite food...

Rodger

Rodger: Say, XML... You have a wings... Can you try to fly? XML: Of course, I can! I'm angel! Rodger: Woah, I never seen that... I could add it to research XML: Huh..? Rodger: That's what detective do XML: Woah!

Scraps

XML: I love your tail! Scraps: Oh, thanks! XML: And... Dress is pretty fit for you! Scraps: Wow, I never thought angels being nice to me...

Shrimpo

Shrimpo: XML!! XML: Huh, yeah..? Shrimpo: PUT YOUR STUPID HALO AWAY, IT'S TOO BRIGHT!! XML: Hey..!! It's not stupid! And it's not glowing too! Shrimpo: YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO REALIZE XML: I'm gonna tell her about this!!

Tisha

Tisha: Aww! You are so cute! XML: Hello, tisha! Tisha: Your clothes looks so clean! Same with your wings too! XML: Heh, thanks! I always keep it stay clean to avoid getting dirty! Tisha: Amazing!

Teagan

Teagan: Hey, xml. Wanna have a tea party with me after this? XML: That's sound fun! I'll ask her about this! Teagan: Who..? XML: My girlfriend, girl! Teagan: Oh! That's sound great choice!

Toodles

Toodles: Your wings are pretty cool! XML: Thank you! Toodles: And is your halo are glowing..? XML: Yup! It's for blackout only! Toodles: Wow, you can keep me safe from darkness!

Vee

Vee: I have one question, xml! XML: Yeah, what is it? Vee: What is 9 + 10? XML: uhh... 21? Vee: That's incorrect! Of course, you don't know what math is... XML: What?! I can't understand math! Vee: ...That explains

Girl (1)

Girl: Extracting ichor was relief! XML: I agree! We should go to park for date! Girl: After this? XML: Yup! Girl: Great idea!

Girl (2)

XML: Every toons are really nice! Excepts for shrimpo... Girl: What shrimpo did do to you? XML: He calls me dumb! Girl: That's very rude! I'll better go to see him if he's here!

Girl + Shrimpo (Bonus)

XML: Why is shrimpo here..? Girl: Don't say his name before he gets your-- Shrimpo: XML!!! Girl: ...Attention XML: Huh? Shrimpo: YOU ARE STINK, XML!! XML: That's not very nice... Girl: Do you want to mess with me?

[ask-ikevamp-faust]

My dear Faust, you’ll be pleased to know that a faint blush actually colored my cheeks when I read your correspondence. You somehow managed to make my “Ice Queen” moniker endearing… I have to admit that I find you quite entrancing.

I certainly do my best to lead well during emergencies, but I certainly can't claim to be perfect. However, I've found that offerings of coffee and homemade fudge brownies tend to soothe over any accidental offenses.

Also, I’m flattered that you suggested I help you with the children at the church, and I would absolutely love to. I’m certain I could easily put together some crafts for them or even teach them a small music lesson. Funnily enough, I used to help a local church with their children’s programs quite often, but I had to stop when I developed…. conflicting feelings about the religion.

That same struggle with religion is actually what some of my tattoos represent. For the gothic cathedral window on my thigh, my inspiration was the “your body is a temple” Bible verse. I decided that I'd give myself tattoos in the same way that a church has stained glass windows.

I also have vampire bat wings under one knee and barn owl wings under the other to toy with demon and angel symbolism. The bat wings represent those who are falsely demonized for their natures, and the owl wings symbolize wisdom and dedication to the pursuit of knowledge. Many other of my tattoos have stories, and I'm sure you'll uncover them as we continue our correspondence.

Kinbaku is an excellent starting point. Fortunately, I am flexible so that should allow us to easily explore a wide range of gratifying positions. Do you have a color of rope picked yet? If not, I’ll suggest green to match with your eyes.

- L

You would be correct, I’m pleased to hear I had such an effect on you. I trust that I’m conveying my affection for you accordingly. I wouldn’t want you to doubt or believe that things are one sided. If you don’t mind, may I continue to call you My Ice Queen? I assure you it’s affectionate, not intended to insult. Also please satiate my curiosity, why do you find me so entrancing?

Haha yes I know. But perfection is not goal, working towards better everyday is the goal. That’s a perfect soothing method, I believe Charles uses something similar with Lord Vlad except with strawberries. You have not committed any accidental offenses towards me but I’d still enjoy trying any of your homemade delicacies. Do you know how to make anything else?

I’m sure the children would love small music lessons. Are you skilled in that department? If there are any remaining mixed feelings about religion then I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Don’t worry, It was only a small suggestion. A selfish one more than anything haha. Thank you for sharing the meaning behind the stained glass window tattoo, it’s interesting. Do you feel empowered after getting that tattoo? Or is it more like a reminder of that struggle? Forgive me for intruding, my desire to learn more about you has me asking so many questions.

Your different wing tattoos are quite clever. The symbolism is strong and easy to understand. The ideas of good vs evil, angels and demons, is such a fascinating discussion topic. Though, people usually aren’t honest during such discussions. Owl wings were a perfect choice for wisdom and knowledge, in many native cultures they are always the chosen ones to represent exactly that. Now, how much more will you indulge me? Which story will you share next?

I’m happy to hear about your good flexibility. Is it natural or do you work towards it? With yoga or dance, something of that sort? As for the color, I’d like to send an order to custom make a rope with a color that compliments you. I want you to feel beautiful during our sessions. Of course if you’d like something to represent me as well, there are other accessories we can browse.

[outeremissary]

14, 25, 26?

Thanks for the ask!! I'm sorry if these aren't going to be super thrilling answers, but some stuff I just don't hear much or don't remember well. ^^;;

[prompt]

14. Any favorite motifs

Haha. Have you noticed. That I like angels. And birds. And wings. And radiant light. And feathers. Do you think that's noticeable in what I draw. Kingmaker has really spoiled me for these- there are so many legitimate reasons to draw them, and I still feel like I'm not doing enough here. At the least, I feel like there's a lot more that I could be doing thematically that I'm not. But I think it's telling that as soon as I started regularly drawing Not Kingmaker stuff I just kept going with the wings- sometimes for Real Reasons, and sometimes... not really. It's my natural state. And I will draw More Wings in the future. This is a promise. I will continue to think about them and hopefully do more interesting and thoughtful things with them, haha.

And I also of course love flowers... I'm not a flower language knower, but I looooove drawing flowers and floral motifs.

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

Last summer while recovering from surgery I took an actual real figure drawing class, like in a real studio downtown with real people and real models. I had a lot of trouble adapting to the materials, the scale of the drawings (big...), and the idea of shading as one of the earliest parts of a sketch. I remember speaking to the instructor after class once about having trouble, and he was pretty nice about stuff even if it didn't help me all that much except to reduce the stress a little. But in that conversation I remember him saying my art (of which he had only seen the model drawings) had a comic book quality. That really surprised me, especially considering the context! I was trying very hard to do realism the best I could there, and besides that I have just never spent a lot of time with American comic books. Even the artists in that sphere who have styles I find really compelling and want to learn from are just not in my mind when I draw almost ever, and they certainly weren't when I was trying to sketch the model! It was interesting to hear though- one way or another, the graphic background I do have comes through that strongly both in how I interpret things into work that's not meant to be stylized and in how I work. I guess it stood out for better or worse that I leaned so heavily on lines ^^;;

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

I remember back in 2021 I did this sketch of Nyrissa and Tristian (I swear it is in fact from 2021 despite the post date. my art was slightly better and definitely more accurate to the game in 2022.) where Nyrissa had a hand under Tristian's chin, forcing Tristian to look her in the eyes. I don't really remember what was on my mind drawing that. I think consciously I was just looking for a typical domineering villain pose that seemed fun to draw- I like the idea of the power dynamic between them and I was interested in how that relationship had shaped the Tristian we see in game. Just doing a little thing to put that master/servant dynamic on paper was satisfying for me. Of course, the second I showed it to other people all the responses were like "this is so horny. you can't show me an image this horny." or "this is so horny, I don't know who I want to be." And at the start I think I was always like "noooooo it's super normal!! it's not horny at all!!!" But I think deep down it probably was a horny drawing, whether I did that consciously or not... And I've definitely leaned into that Vibe since then when I draw them together, haha.

That's not a very good story, but honestly I think I just have not seen a lot of interpretations of what I draw that were so different from what was on my mind that they were memorable. ^^;; I don't have a super great memory for this kind of thing though

[killerandhealerqueen]

Another AU idea, you say? Hmmm, what's it about? Shout into the void for us hehe.

Also, the ideas switch in your brain seems to have been permanently left on. It could've picked a time you weren't so busy lol.

Haha, you a real one for this, bestie. And yeah, my brain could have picked a better time, but it always does this so I am...unfortunately, used to it.

Anyways. This is gonna be long, so it's going under the cut

So, the new au I originally had planned was an Android Au, sort of like Detroit Becomes Human, you know? Where Chen Yuzhi would be an android that has to work with Jiang Yuelou, who's a cop and hates androids. But then I realized I sort of already did that idea when I wrote The Demon and the Angel and I'm like...I don't really want to write the same story again and I don't know enough about androids/robotics to make the story...believable? Like, I haven't actually played Detroit Becomes Human, I just know about it from tumblr and from youtube gameplays. So...scrapped that idea.

And then, and then! My brain was like...how about that Demon-Dragon King au you did a while back with Demon-Dragon King!Jiang Yuelou and God of Healing!Chen Yuzhi and I'm like...you fucking right. Except I changed it to where Jiang Yuelou is now just a dragon who offers protection over a land and so every year, the kingdom sends up a girl to act as a sacrifice so that the dragon will continue to give them protection.

However, that whole system is completely dashed when Chen Yuzhi, a humble doctor, actually finds a dragon in a clearing while searching for herbs and roots to use for his medicines and realizes that the dragon's wing is torn. He takes a step forward and the dragon tells him to go away but he offers to stitch the wing for him. The dragon allows him to do so and after the wing is stitched, the dragon leaves (without saying thank you because you know, dragons).

Anyways, Chen Yuzhi goes back to the kingdom after he gets what he needs, only to be dragged to the palace and told that the dragon itself wants him to be its sacrifice. Chen Yuzhi is a little shocked and everyone is just sort of...agreeing with this and he's like "Don't I get a say?" and an elder just backhands him for being insolent and uh...oof. The sky starts to rumble and the ground shakes and then a person appears and they are not happy. They're like "you dare hit my consort" and everyone's just like whom the fuck until they realize, oh shit the dragon. So the dragon goes over and helps Chen Yuzhi up and then glares at the elders, warning them that if they ever hurt Chen Yuzhi again, he's raining fire down upon the kingdom.

They then leave and Chen Yuzhi is like "you're not...actually gonna rain down fire, right?" The dragon just sort of laughs and says no, he won't, not if Chen Yuzhi doesn't want him to. Chen Yuzhi then asks his name and the dragon replies that he doesn't have one, so Chen Yuzhi gives him one: Jiang Yuelou. Jiang Yuelou is rather happy with the name, just as a mother with a sick baby comes running over to them and asks Chen Yuzhi to take a look at her child.

So he does and Jiang Yuelou follows, leaning against the frame of the door as Chen Yuzhi tells the mother to come back in an hour, that her baby will be better by then. The mother agrees and leaves, causing Jiang Yuelou to look at Chen Yuzhi in confusion and ask if it would have been better for the mother to stay. Chen Yuzhi just laughs and says he doesn't want the mother to see what he's about to do before he places two fingers to the baby's forehead and heals it. Jiang Yuelou is shocked and demands to know what he is, only to have Chen Yuzhi laugh and assure him that he's human. Jiang Yuelou just gives him a look and tells him that humans can't heal people nor can their eyes glow. So what is he. Chen Yuzhi smiles and tells him that he's a god, of sorts. A healing god. Jiang Yuelou is shocked before he smiles, rather happy, because he was afraid that he was going to outlive Chen Yuzhi but seeing as that he's a god, he's not so worried.

They have other conversations, like about the sacrifices that were sent every year (Jiang Yuelou tells him that dragons don't eat humans and that he sent the girls to live in other countries or other lands so that they wouldn't have to go home and face the shame from the elders as the elders would blame them for bringing misfortune upon the land because they came home), about Chen Yuzhi being his consort (Chen Yuzhi is his first and only consort and he won't take another), and other things.

And then shit starts to get angsty when a princess from another land comes to offer herself up as the sacrifice to the dragon, only to find out that the dragon has already taken a sacrifice/consort. The princess (Zhao Moqing because who else would it be) is not happy and demands to know just who the person is that the dragon chose and the king tells her Chen Yuzhi. She then orders her servants and guards to find him and bring him to her.

So the guards go and do that and when a guard finds Chen Yuzhi and Jiang Yuelou heading home for the evening, and the guard asks Chen Yuzhi if he's Chen Yuzhi, which he tells him that he is. The guard then tries to grab him (stupid idea, really), only to have Jiang Yuelou grab his arm and squeeze, shattering every bone in it (because dragon strength). Chen Yuzhi quickly heals the guard and tells him to get lost before Jiang Yuelou does something worse to him before he and Jiang Yuelou have a bit of an argument about Jiang Yuelou being a little too overprotective. The argument quickly ends after Jiang Yuelou admits that Chen Yuzhi is the first person he actually wants to take care of and protect so that's why he's being so overprotective and Chen Yuzhi's like huh...that's new (he's so used to protecting/healing others that he's not used to someone protecting him).

Anyways, I haven't finished outlining/writing the rest of the au but basically Zhao Moqing does end up kidnapping Chen Yuzhi and torturing him (because she's supposed to be the sacrifice, not him) and then Jiang Yuelou comes and saves him (because of course he does. No one kidnaps a dragon's consort and thinks they're gonna get away with it). Jiang Yuelou does destroy Zhao Moqing (I don't think I'm going to have him destroy the kingdom, too many innocent lives and Chen Yuzhi wouldn't want him to do that) and somehow I'll finish it off all fluffy and cute.

But yeah, that's the new au. I really hyperfixated on this one, which is why it's much more detailed than the Mafia au and the Soulmate au that you asked about before...need to jump back on those...after this one is done.

But thank you again for asking!

[selenityshiroi]

I'm getting super close to the end of FFXVI story, I'm pretty sure, and I'm getting so anxious because a) I love these characters and I have no idea as to their fates and b) the combat is probs gonna be hard amd I don't wannaaaaaaa

The mobs have been getting tricky and I'm really wishing I'd grinded a bit. I guess I could go off and grind but I also REALLY want to finish the story so I can check out fandom.

So...I'm at the tower in Ash hunting down Barnabas and I guess I'm gonna get Odin from him before confronting Ultima.

Still use Phoenix for everything except staggers but I am super fond of Bahamut and Wings of Light

I mean...do a few precision dodges and BAM level 3 Megaflare in the enemies face

I got it up to level 4 without realising just now and it was still going on well after the enemy died lol

I am super sad that I left my wife behind and then my brother left me behind

My support squadddddd

Even Gav had to take care of the lady so just me and the pupper

Also I'm amazed that this game did 'I have your wife' TWICE

But at least the second time led to them actually getting over themselves

(It did not have to be naked SE...but I guess you guys already had the M rating and at least there are probably less 'did they or didn't they' questions)

Maybe they'll do it again for under the highwind haha

Or just drop another 'they fucked' achievement which made me laugh when it popped up

Anyway...the FFXIII Trilogy plot influences are super heavy and unsubtle

There is a reason I refer to Ultima as Bhunivelze 2.0

Also Clive is apparently Hope which is also hilarious because of how much (unjustified) hate Hope gets

(BTW Hope is a fantastic character and if you think differently I just assume you never got past the first 3 hours of FFXIII)

I really, really want Clive and Joshua to make it out alive

Jill is off my worry list now that she has been left behind...so I'm sad that she's not here kicking ass with me but relieved

I also am pretty certain Clive is gonna survive

Because a) he promised Jill they would have a future after and b) he told Gav he's not done with the Cid name

Narrative hope

Joshua, though...I was certain he was doomed after I realised he was still alive...then I thought he had a chance. Now I'm on the fence again.

But I'm leaning more towards yes, he'll live

BTW the active time lore spoiled that Barnabas is gonna die

(Not that it isn't obvious)

But there is an entry already about the evil Ultima spell thing going on 'despite barnabas's death'

[finsterhund]

Oh shit a new episode of the Ahsoka show came out while I was on my camping trip...

Spoilers under break.

Still genuinely confused about Sabine being force sensitive. It kinda feels like the show is too???? Idk maybe Luke took to everything so fast in A New Hope because he was a Skywalker but Sabine is really struggling????

Jesus Christ this episode continues to just show the New Republic as stupid bureaucrats. :( "You're wasting resources trying to find this missing kid, even though it's specifically to track down Thrawn being alive also because he's a threat." Bruh. I looked up to you guys when I was little you're breaking my heart.

Jacen is sweet. They made him look a bit more on the human side though? Why isn't he being trained? He's a good age to start considering how old Anakin was and also probably actually force sensitive.

Yeah Sabine is straight up "I don't feel the force" Ahsoka is like "not everyone can handle the discipline it takes" like bro you were trained since you were an infant!!!!

Okay so now Huyang is like "the Order wouldn't have accepted her" so he just straight up lied to Sabine in the last episode. Mean.

I see where the writers are going now. But Ahsoka isn't being smart about it. I really am clashing with this writing. What's basically "plot armor" except it's a "character being made to be stupider than they canonically should be" called?

THE RETURN OF TEARSTAINS WHITE DOG!!! MY BLORBO!!! In a little fighter ship aaaaaa fuck why has this character grown on me so much in such a stupid fucking way bro

God a part of my brain has retroactively decided that Hati is a lichthund and her ship is actually some sort of SW canon compliant synth wing alternative. It makes her feel a lot more realistic tbh. God I'd never want my hounds to be an actual canon SW race because that'd mean Disney would own them now but I haven't actually thought about them ACTUALLY seriously literally showing up in a piece of SW media for AGES.

Okay so I've had an internal running joke where I just go "haha lichthund" every time Disney has someone do something that doesn't make sense under normal pre Disney canonical circumstances but would be a possibility in my own work. ie: hyperspace ramming: this is a very lichthund thing to do fyi they're fucking obsessed with that, surviving lightsaber stab wounds in vital places: sounds like somebody's part lichthund to me, etc. It's a joke, it's coping, it's genuinely silly, but now I'm actually taking it seriously. FFS.

The idea of a lichthunde who relies entirely on their synth wing is hilarious to me though. Maybe in this hypothetical lichthund-Hati is physically disabled, or spent most of her life clipped or something.

Oh shit I think Morgan is actually force sensitive. Unless that's all just Hati doing the telepathy. Because it still really fucking feels that Hati isn't force sensitive.

God I can't stop reinterpreting her as a lichthund. This is actually helping me suspend disbelief.

Bro Ahsoka leaving the ship and jumping around in space. Only Ahsoka in this situation could make sense but it still is weird to see. She's wearing a suit thankfully. I know Disney has had people survive outside of ships without them before but I don't like that. I've seen Jedi in space suits in the CW cartoon before and clones wearing spacesuits so I'm not bothered by that but I don't think lightsabers are supposed to handly firepower from ships? Only the fact that she was Anakin's Padawan is making me accept this. Because this sounds like something stupidly dangerous and excessive that he would do. I can fucking hear Obi-wan ribbing them both about it.

Wait why can't Ahsoka propel herself back to the ship using the force? So Leia can do this unconscious but Ahsoka can't? Disney...

Hati apparently being force sensitive and not being able to hit Ahsoka with her ship guns makes sense with my stupid little game where she's a lichthund because manually having to control a gun rather than her own biological weapons would be fairly dysmorphic tho so...

Like the live action purgill designs. Flying around them was cool.

Still cursed with the thought of Hati being a little white fluffy tearstained lichthund that has body dysmorpha though. Fuck I want art of this so bad. Just this fucked up little lichthund (Indigo sized) with wings permanently held resting folded using front legs to man the ship steering looking around with a constant semi deer-in-the-headlights expression. This is canon to me.

Was able to flow along and understand a lot better than the first two episodes. Still not sold on the series but if this turns into the lichthund blorbo development experience I won't be mad.

[thahxa]

note: i started writing this post before the election

so we've all seen this tweet right:

and like. haha very funny but this is basically the idea i'm talking about

during the 2016 and to a lesser extent the 2020 election there was this feeling that alot of leftist ideas were Genuinely Popular but were being suppressed by the elite class, things like medicare for all or some forms of police/criminal justice reform

and like, that's a genuinely optimistic view! if you could just remove one element then you could unleash a wave of leftist ideas

but as the last 4 years (and now, with the election) have shown... what do people care about? they don't want inflation (so good luck running your broad-based stimulus next time), they want lower taxes (so good luck dealing with inflation if you want to do stimulus), they care alot about crime (and unspecified social disorder), and they want low immigration

and you can run the same ideas about how the elites are holding you back, but when the same ideas poll worse and left-wing candidates do worse what can you say?

and of course, you do believe that your ideas are better for the people (otherwise, you probably wouldn't hold them), you want higher real wages, low unemployment, and probably think that a bit of inflation is a small price to pay for full employment

but of course the american people disagree, so where does that leave you? the idea of the elite holding people back is a fundamentally optimistic idea, one of the people being fundamentally progressive but held back by elites, where increases in democratic participation will save the day (especially among your key demographics, ex minorities)

ofc, one of the ways is to go populist, but arguably the populist left is a force that already exists and they ran into the same issues, so what does that leave you?

well, after the loss in 2008, one half of the right wing split to become the populist right, the other half decided that democracy was for losers and what the american people really need is a king to rule over them. that the people just don't understand what's good for them and really if we had an educated elite to take over...

except, of course. the left wing demographic from 2016 are the educated class now

this election season is great because we get to see the creation of what i can only describe as "leftist neoreaction"

[flanneryculp]

sleeping in the rain...

Fanart for @eshithepetty 's httys AU!! If you haven't already, you should check her out!! She's really cool and a phenomenal artist!!

[thefoulbeast]

hello, i could not get the idea out of my head... also trying out smth funky with lighting haha

comic accompanied by a drabble under the cut (warning for canon-typical violence):

Stanislav walks out into the steppe, past the loose threshold of the town. The air is different here, less dense - it buzzes with grasshopper songs. A lazy white butterfly blinks its wings atop a cornflower as he steps past, a watchful eye of the steppe.

He's been spending more and more time here this summer, kneeling in the long grass with a satchel and a pharmacognosy textbook both in his hands, learning the plants of the steppan summer.

Of course, the truly endemic, unique plants like the twyre, the white-whip, swevery - those he can only learn from Isidor - but the rest are something he can memorise himself, comparing botanical illustrations to the real life plants he encounters.

He steps out further, further from town. The air smells herbal like bloom, like cut grass, like pollen. Not the sick-dizzy haze of August and September, but something milder and more pleasant, like an infusion as opposed to a tincture.

Stanislav keeps his feet careful, treading through a once-walked path left by someone else, doing his best to not trample the grasses. He halts and watches a spindly-legged spider crawl across his way, its body sluggish under the weight of the egg-sack it carries.

A dozen metres more, and he pauses to pinch and pluck a fatty camomile that sways in the light breeze. He's gotten better at that too - used to be that when he went to pick a flower, he'd lift it from the ground like pulling out something stuck, uprooting the plant and disturbing the dirt around it. But now he knows how each stem works - which ones to twist, which ones to swirl, which ones to pinch bluntly and which need the edge of a nail to be coaxed free.

The feathery leaves of the camomile tickle his palm as he rolls the stem betweeh his fingers when righting himself. He looks out across the plains - a modest warm grassland stretching as far as the horizon, perfectly undisturbed - except - there he is.

Stanislav keeps his gaze on the off-white linen of the sitting figure's shirt like a beacon. He draws closer almost magnetically - his strides seem to propel him faster than usual, as if the ground was carrying him on a stream.

"There you are!" he calls out once close enough he knows to be heard. "I've been looking all over for you! Master is quite disappointed with your disappearance, Cub."

Artemy's head turns slow, his face relaxed with a pleasant smile. Something his eyes shimmers under the blue and bright of the sparsely cloudy sky.

There is a wreath on his head - long grass, cornflower, clover and knapweed and daisy. Not thick to a point of show-off - modest and pretty, gracefully neutral. The grass ears stick out of the crown like spokes of a wheel. The curls of his hair stick out around it, bleached blonde in the summertime sun.

The sight alone is enough to twist something in Stanislav’s heart. Artemy's always been charming to the point of flustering without much trying. 

Oh, how Stanislav has missed him.

(Wait - missed? Had he gone somewhere?)

There's another, unfinished, half-braided wreath in his lap. Artemy breaks his eye contact with Stanislav to wind the stem of a grass that ends with an ear around the wreath, tucking it through the rest of the leaves and blossoms carefully. It’s long enough to appear almost done.

"Practising making wreaths? What for?" Stanislav asks, because he has nothing else to say as he lowers himself into a careful kneel in the grass, an arm's length from where Artemy sits cross-legged.

Artemy looks at him again, eyes smiling as he pulls a roll of thread from his pocket without looking. A white silk thread - the one they use for sutures.

(Surely, Stanislav had gone over inventory before he left. He hadn't noticed anything missing or unaccounted for. What a clever Cub.)

"This one's for you," Artemy answers eventually, "figured that something pretty was the least I could do. I practised on myself -" he pokes at the wreath on his own head and it wobbles precariously, not sitting quite straight, "- and it's harder than I remember, you know. The brides make it look effortless, but I don't have the same feel for what flower or grass goes next. I'm just thinking - nothing feels more like my Stas than nettles and thistles,” he laughs here, light and warm, “but I can't make a crown out of those; it would itch too much."

Stanislav listens to him speak and tries not to close his eyes, despite the way the words soothe something long-aching in him. As if, were his attention to slacken, Artemy would disappear again.

(Again?)

Artemy loops the thread tight around the ends of the wreath, closing it. Ties it shut with four clean surgical knots, fingers clever between the loops. He holds up the newly finished wreath with a proud huff, smiling crookedly. Then looks at Stanislav again, mirthful.

"Come, lean in, I want to see if it fits," Artemy says as he leans closer, crown held in both hands.

And Stanislav knows in the second that the crown touches his head, when he feels the tips of Artemy's fingers on his head and finds them cold. 

(Cub’s hands were never cold.)

“Oh, look at you now! It fits,” Artemy smiles, bright as the sun in the sky, almost translucent with how stunning he is, “Aren’t you such a handsome thing, Stakh?”

He can't quite control the way his expression crumples while Artemy fiddles with the wreath, straightening out the way it sits on Stanislav's head with the thoughtful little pout that is just so intrinsically Cub that it almost hurts.

"Stas? What's wrong?" Artemy asks, his pleased smile melting down to worry when Stanislav doesn’t say anything. "...Do you not like it?" he bites his lip, almost childish in worry.

It's not that, it isn't. Stanislav wishes, more than anything, to have this wreath on his head and Artemy sat right next to him. Wants to be out in the steppe with him, long hours under the sun, picking herbs together and ribbing one another.

And that's the problem. 

"You're not really here," Stanislav says after too long a pause, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"Yes," Artemy says, relaxing again, but there’s a sadness in his eyes despite the smiling curve of his lips, "and isn't it such a beautiful dream?"

"I wish it wasn't," Stanislav mumbles, digging short blunt nails into the topsoil, “I wish it was ugly.”

The sun doesn’t dim, the sky doesn’t suddenly become overcast. It smells like summer, smells like home. The grasshoppers continue singing, the cutting ssst-ssst softening the growing quiet. Far off, one of the cows from the nearest herd bellows.

Artemy watches him, still smiling with pity, but he doesn’t try to say anything.

Stanislav grinds his teeth together. The wreath feels heavy on his head. Artemy should have made it from thistle and nettle instead, the pretty flowers and rich grass burns him with the care they’ve been weaved with.

“I wish it was a bad dream,” Stanislav whispers, “maybe then I’d miss you less.”

“No, Stas,” Artemy murmurs, spreads out his hands and drags his fingers through the plants around him - they shush softly against his fingertips - “It’s the other way around. A bad dream won’t make it hurt less - hurting more will make the dream good.”

That makes it worse; his temper flares.

Stanislav lunges forwards, the wreath falling off his head with the movement. He’s on Artemy in a second.

Artemy, who doesn’t struggle, who lets Stanislav wrap his hands around his throat.

“Then I’ll make it worse myself,” he growls, fingers digging in.

Artemy still looks handsome as his face turns red and blood vessels pop in his eyes, bleeding into the sclera. Artemy, who closes his eyes to tears flowing down sun-kissed cheeks. Artemy, who doesn’t struggle until the very end.

--

He wakes up like a candle snuffed. The sky is rosy-pink, a sliver of sun just visible over the town outline, and he is cold with sweat, sleeping clothes askew and mind wild, blanket kicked off the mattress and bedding pulled out from the careful tuck beneath the mattress.

Stanislav's heart clenches. Another day on his own. Another day in which Artemy is not coming home.

This dream won’t stop haunting him.

Sometimes he sits with Artemy. Sometimes they sing. Sometimes he has a knife and he guts Cub, and sometimes Artemy guts him in turn, claw-shaped scalpel slitting him open like warm butter from groin to throat. Always out in the steppe, among the blooming flowers - bright and off season, and beautiful. Always a sunny, pleasant day.

Always only a dream

He turns on his side, towards the wall, tucking his knees up high and curling into a tight ball as he swallows down the sob at the back of his throat.

It is summer, and the whole room smells like steppan grasses.

[mrsbrekkers]

How bout a kaz brekker x blind!reader? 💓

okay so i have never written blind!reader before but but but BUTTT a good idea came to me involving reader being a grisha ( healer ) who had the gift to see someone and what they truly look like if they are physically allowed to be let in? it’s hard to explain, but y a

in this, reader and kaz have known one another for a good three in a half years, they work on heists together, and reader is usually partnered with kaz, as he wants to keep her safe. i S U C K at summaries. also, i was hella distracted while writing this, but it came out somewhat okay? f u c k.

pairings! kax x blind!reader

reader in this is female, but i will adjust accordingly if you’d like me too! just let me know! :)

warnings! really distracted writing, jordie, ptsd, blood, the typical soc stuff, kaz almost having a panic attack, but also him realizing he’s safe there with reader ye. 

i could so make this a series? like going through all the times blind!reader has made kaz come to trust her more and more. haha ha unless...

word count! 2847

ONE SHOT UNDER CUT

GLOVED INTERACTIONS

There were many descriptions given to Y/N about what Kaz Brekker looked like. What color his eyes were. What color his hair was. What his build was like. She could give you an accurate description of Jesper, Inej, Nina, Matthias, even Wylan was easy. But when it came to someone she couldn’t physically map out? She became a bit lost.

Being born without her sight, Y/N had to learn other ways to understand the world. Especially in a place like Ketterdam. Maybe that was why Kaz was quick to take Y/N under his wing. To keep her safe, just as he had with Wylan. But, Y/N wasn’t useless. Being a Healer, she was valuable to the Dregs. Nina was a powerful heartrender, but could only do so much when someone was inevitably hurt during jobs. That’s where Y/N was useful.

In a sense she had her sight, but it relied on physically being able to touch someone. A side-effect of being a Grisha, with abilities that no one has seen before. Her sight may have been gone, but being able to see one in her mind, whether it be blurry or clear, gave her an idea on what one looked like.

That meant Kaz was the most mysterious person to Y/N.

Y/N could describe most of the crows relatively well. Jesper had been the first to let Y/N use her ‘gift’ as Nina called it, with him. Her hands rested on his arms, slowly moving up to his shoulders, the other crows sitting around them to watch.

“You’re Zemeni, but I knew that already. Inej described you as long limbed, she wasn’t wrong.” Inej laughed a bit, shaking her head. “Lean, no surprise, I could make that out. Your eyes are a dark grey, but beautiful. I must say Jesper, you’re rather handsome. Being a handsome decoy seems like it should be a Jesper talent.”

Jesper smiled, looking down at Y/N. “Right on, almost to the dot,” he said, giving his best friend a chuckle.

“Your smile lights up a room. But I also knew that already,” Y/N added, tilting her head as she let her hands drop from Jesper’s shoulders. The crows around them were in awe, and then Nina was moving Jesper out of the way.

“Move handsome decoy, my turn,” She said, humming a bit as she sat in front of Y/N, making the Healer laugh. As she had with Jesper, Y/N ran her hands up Nina’s arms, stopping at her shoulders.

“Hmm, long curly brown hair, your heart beats a bit differently than the rest of our friends. Courtesy of being Grisha, and a Heartrender. You’re also a bit curvier than our friends, but as am I.” Nina smiled, glancing at their friends, who all seemed confused on how Y/N managed to do this.

“Green eyes, piercing almost. As always, like the rest of our friends, your smile lights up the room. But instead of Jesper’s toothy smile, you’re a closed mouth smiler, unless talking to Matthias of course,” Y/N smirked a bit, feeling Nina’s body heat up told her that the Heartrender was indeed, blushing.

Then slowly, all of the crows sat in front of Y/N. Except for Kaz, which Y/N understood. She didn’t pry, but she did begin to wonder what he truly looked like. There were so many conflicting descriptions. Obviously the ones given from people who didn’t like him weren’t taken into account, because most of them consisted of calling Kaz ‘The Grinch’. And while this was probably a good term for his lovely personality, it didn’t seem like it’d match his looks. Kaz wasn’t green after all.

But after a particularly rough job, one that ended with almost everyone scuffed up in some way, shape, or form, Y/N was working herself to the bone. Inej had the worst of it, so Y/N worked on her first at the Slat, and upon finishing, she had Nina sit next to the sleeping Wraith. She stood, huffing as she climbed the stairs to Kaz’s room. He was always the least willing to be healed. He always claimed he was the least beat up, or he could handle it himself.

This time, Y/N knew he wasn’t the least beat up. She’d heard about the gash running up his arm, and the scratches lining his face, which were less than pretty. Entering the room, she crossed her arms.

“I’m fine,” Kaz spoke first, earning a scoff from Y/N.

“I’ve heard plenty from Jesper about how nasty the gash on your arm is, and how your leg has been worse than usual. I can’t heal a bone that’s healed incorrectly, but I can ease the pain,” Y/N stated, moving to stand in front of the desk. Why was Kaz so damned stubborn about things like this? It concerned the Healer. Did he find himself so unlovable that he believed he deserved the pain when he was hurt?

“How are you going to count your Kruge if your arm is cut wide open?” Y/N asked, tilting her head. That made Kaz sigh. She wasn’t wrong about that. It also meant problems during other aspects of his job.

“Fine,” Kaz said reluctantly. He watched Y/N round the table, his eyes mainly on her fingers that softly glided the desk, letting her know when to turn. He’d always found it fascinating how she managed so much without her sight. Mainly how she found her ways around. The way her fingers would move so smoothly across surfaces. Or how graceful she seemed. It was hard to fascinate Kaz Brekker, but she did it effortlessly.

“I won’t touch you, but I’m going to need to be guided to where the gash is,” Y/N spoke, now standing in front of Kaz, who gulped with a shaky nod. He trusted her. He trusted all of his Crows, but her the most. She’d been there when the Crows were down bad. She brought smiles to the team without fail. Kaz could remember the first time they’d met, when his fascianation had started.

The night had been cold, dark. As Ketterdam usually was. After a few months of Kaz having Inej watch over the Healer that lived near the university district, Inej had come to Kaz with news that the Healer, Y/N, had noticed her. It had rendered the Bastard of the Barrel speechless. Someone had noticed Inej Ghafa?

“How did she notice you? Nobody notices you. Even I didn't for the first time, and I notice everyone,” Kaz stated, his tone confused.

“I believe our Healer is blind. It would make sense then, all of her other senses would be on high alert, especially her hearing. Even the most silent aren’t silent to the blind. They notice everything, Kaz. I’m surprised she didn’t notice me earlier,” Inej said, her arms crossed as she leaned in the doorway between the bedroom and the small office.

Kaz stalled for a moment, humming in consideration. It would explain how Inej had been found out. What that didn’t answer was whether Y/N knew who they were. He doubted it, but you could never be sure in Ketterdam.

“Did she know who you were?”

“I’m not sure, I left before things escalated. She said she knew I was there and to reveal who I was and who I worked for. So she knows I’m not some random in Ketterdam. I’m sure she could figure out enough if I’d appeared before her,” Inej said before looking back at the window. She knew she wasn’t followed, she always checked for such. But with the revelation that someone, for once, had noticed her, it wasn’t unlikely that maybe she’d been followed.

Kaz huffed, realizing he’d have to now go and explain to this Healer about how he’d been watching over her for the past few months. He wasn’t even sure why he’d been doing so. Well, he did, she’d be a good asset to have later if he ever decided to actually let it be known that he’d been keeping her safe. It was time that’d present a new reason.

Arriving at the small apartment that the Healer lived in, Kaz knocked Inej behind him, and when the door opened, his dark eyes landed on Y/N.

“I was waiting for you guys to show up,” Y/N said, turning and allowing the two inside.

“You knew we’d come?” Inej asked, entering the small apartment and sitting where Y/N offered, taking the small cup of tea she was handed. For being stalked for the past few months, the Healer was being rather kind.

“I suspected it was The Wraith watching over me for some time. I have learned to feel different presence’ around me. Yours, while I didn’t notice it at first, I began to when one of my papers went missing and was replaced with a forged one,” Y/N said, sitting next to Inej.

“How did you know it was forged?” Kaz asked, raising an eyebrow. Not that Y/N could see that, but his tone, his voice did the accenting for him.

“Kaz Brekker I presume. The handwriting wasn’t my own. I don’t have terrible handwriting, I’ve practiced for years after all, but my handwriting is not that nice. And the paper wasn’t the kind of paper I used. It was a close second, yes, but the letters weren’t able to be felt. That’s when I realized it was forged. It was a good forgery, but I’ve lived in Ketterdam long enough.” That’s when Kaz’s fascination started.

Or maybe it was when Inej had announced someone had noticed her. Nonetheless, that was the day he decided to recruit Y/N officially. It wasn’t hard either, considering she was rather willing too as long as she wasn’t indentured to the Dregs.

“I won’t go with if I’m going to be paying you back for the rest of my life,” Y/N stated, sipping her tea. Oh, and she had to bring her cat. Jesper now called the cat the Crows mascot. Which, the other’s had found weird. It was a cat, not a Crow, but they had changed the name of the cat to Crow. Which made the rest of the gang agree on it. Even Kaz found the cat enjoyable.

That was three years ago.

Since then, Y/N hadn’t let Kaz down once. He’d grown to trust her as he did Inej, even more so as she became his shadow. The person in his corner, his partner. He trusted his shadow.

Sighing, Kaz shook his head, looking over at Y/N and glancing down to her hands. “Left arm, right above my elbow,” he said, watching her fingers flex before moving to hover over the gash that covered a good part of Kaz’s upper arm.

“You know, I still don’t know what you look like,” Y/N said as she healed to gash slowly, making sure the work was intricate and done correctly.

“Brooding, dark, nothing else really to me,” Kaz said, but Y/N shook her head, finishing the gash and humming a bit. She moved her hand slowly up to Kaz’s face, doing a quick brush over to heal the small gashes there. Kaz felt them heal, his labored breath steadying as she moved her hand away from his face.

“I don’t believe that. If there was nothing more to you, I wouldn’t be staying around, Kaz,” Y/N said, bending down, but she felt a gloved hand grip her wrist, surprising her and causing her to jump a bit.

“I can handle that pain, I have for years,” Kaz stated, watching Y/N nod, and while she couldn’t see his hand, her eyes were still on the wrist that was enclosed by Kaz’s gloved hand.

“I may have an idea. A way for me to know what you truly look like,” Y/N said, a smile rising to her lips.

Kaz was almost frightened to ask. No, he was frightened. He knew what that would entail. But he knew what she looked like and she had so many conflicting ideas about what he looked like. He also knew that Y/N wouldn’t cross his boundaries unless he gave explicit permission. He could say no to this and she’d agree and leave with a smile, some words of encouragement to sleep and rest, and later have Inej or Jesper bring up food for him. But sucking in a deep breath, he looked up at Y/N, determining that he trusted her enough for this. She’d never hurt you. 

“Okay, tell me the idea,” Kaz said slowly, his words wavering.

“You can back out at any time, Kaz. If you don’t want to do this, you let me know immediately,” Y/N stated, and Kaz let out a small cough. 

He closed his eyes, nodding to himself before giving an audible, “I know.”

“Your gloves, their the barrier that helps ensure you don’t come into contact with skin. What if I wear a pair, they don’t have to be yours, but a pair of gloves and use them to learn what you look like?”

Kaz tilted his head. It wasn’t a terrible idea. It actually made a lot of sense. He used the gloves as a barrier, as Y/N had said. If she did the same, it would be the same as he had just done with her wrist. He wouldn’t feel Jordie. He wouldn’t feel Reaper’s Barge. At least, that’s what he hoped for. But he’d be willing to try for Y/N. He’d try for her.

“We . . . can try that, but use my gloves. I’m used to the feeling of them. I have another pair in the nightstand by my bed,” Kaz said, watching Y/N smile a bit before moving to grab the gloves in the nightstand. He watched her slide them onto her fingers, seeing they were just a bit big on her, he chuckled quietly.

Y/N let her fingers glide against the desk once more, pulling the chair from the other side of the desk right in front of Kaz. She could hear his uneven breathing as she sat too. “You guide me, just like before,” Y/N said, letting Kaz have control of the situation. 

Slowly, Kaz lifted his hand, taking Y/N’s gloved one into his own. Stalling for a moment he shut his eyes tightly, and for a moment the flashes came to him, but he sucked in a deep breath, opening his eyes and seeing Y/N in front of him, alive, breathing.

He lifted her hands to rest on his shoulders, watching her hum as the vision of him began to form within her mind. He watched a smile come to her lips. She would never know how beautiful that smile was. How beautiful it was to him. How he hoped it wasn’t washed away like his was because of the Barrel.

“Hmm, Dark hair, trimmed at the edges. Inej teased you for it one day, I remember that. You have a sharper face than most of our friends, and a lean build, but more muscular than Jesper is.” Y/N tilted her head, the image in her head finally fully forming.

“Dark eyes, like bitter coffee. Two tattoos. I didn’t know that. I must say, but don’t Jesper this, you’re far more handsome than he is. Maybe you should start being the handsome decoy.” Kaz chuckled at that, and for a few moments he wasn’t shaking. He wasn’t fearful. He wasn’t breathing heavily. He was happy, even if just for those few moments. Happy because of her.

Y/N dropped her hands, pulling off the leather gloves and placing them on the desk. “Certainly not the grinch as some put it,” she added, standing.

“Pretty close to that,” Kaz said, watching her stand.

“Maybe personality wise, but certainly not look wise.”

“Who calls me the Grinch?” 

“Jesper,” Y/N laughed. She remembered hearing Jesper reference Kaz as the grinch at one point. It was where the nickname had probably originated from for others to call the Bastard of the Barrel, and slowly it became known. The room became quiet for some time, and Y/N was the first to break it.

“Thank you . . . for letting me do that, I know it wasn’t easy. The tattoos, what are they of?” Y/N asked then, tilting her head. Kaz took a deep breath in, looking over at the window across by his bed. The one he rarely ever used.

“The Dregs Crow, and an R,” he didn’t elaborate, leaving Y/N to know that was as much as he’d say. She knew what the Crow was for, but she had a feeling she shouldn’t ask much more than that.

“Well, do get some rest. I can’t heal sleep exhaustion, sadly,” Y/N said, laughing a bit. She didn’t see it, but a smile spread on Kaz’s lips.