#ex proshipper

[lungofthefang]

As an ex-anti, the way that some proshippers act regarding people who left the proship community due to traumatic experiences is honestly very disgusting and some of you really need to grow a heart.

Can you imagine a proshipper talking about their traumatic experiences as an ex-anti and in response, antis laughed at them? You all would be fuming, so why is it magically okay when it’s the reverse of that? “This is funny!” “Lmfao!” “Why seek help?” This isn’t even counting the times I’ve seen proshippers say that ex proshippers are dumb or evil or lacking in morals when being an ex proshipper ≠ being an anti.

Congratulations if you’ve never had a bad experience while in the proship community but a lot of other people, me included, can’t say the same.

[syunkiss]

Hey! It's Arthur :) (TW for a bit of discourse)

I just really wanted to say that, if you're thinking about leaving a harmful community/left a harmful community, it is a lie that you will not be accepted in other spaces anymore.

Many communities will try to tell you that if you join that community and then regret it no other communities will accept you, or that you will never be able to leave (you will), or that that community is the only community that will accept you as you are, but that is a lie.

People disagree with each other all of the time. No one, NO ONE, thinks the same way as everyone else. Just like someone thinks another color you don't like is prettier than your favorite color, people will have different opinions about different things all the time. And even if you don't agree, what can you do about it? Buy a laser beam and control the minds of everyone in the world? That's impossible. You can try to spread awareness, try to spread the word about why you think something is wrong and harmful, but we are all different people, we have different names, different looks, different brains, and different opinions about all sorts of things. Even if sometimes that's a bad thing, a bad opinion, a harmful opinion like many things around this hellsite.

Everyone has the right to change their mind about anything, everything. No matter how hard you worked at it, no matter how much effort you put into it, everyone has the right to regret it and change. It doesn't matter if you were focused on joining that community or if you joined it by your own free will, if you regret it and change (or are trying and doing your best to change), it is no longer a part of you.

Even if some people look at you in a strange way, you will be accepted. If you were something and became an anti, or if you were an anti and became something, what you were before and changed is no longer what you are now. That's what change is about, that's what change means.

You will be accepted. You have the right to regret. You have the right to leave everything behind. You can always change.

[layla-girlfriend]

IMPORTANT

im sorry, but im no longer a proshipper/comshipper

Ive whanted to quit proshipping for a while now, ive been forcing myself to make theese types of content

It was very hard for me, to leave my "safespace" ive had for over a year

Proshipping is harmfull

[mikurulucky]

The best advice I'd give is to forgive yourself. People may still try to harass you for having been a proshipper in the past, but we're human. We're always growing as a person. Our ideas and beliefs might change.

Just because we stop developing past a certain age does not mean we stop learning and changing.

^^^^

[bloodncupcakes]

Intro coming soon . . . 𓉸ྀི

[gaystims]

Sometimes we (as an ex proshipper) do go through phases where we have the urge to return to that time in our life.

So here is your reminder to everyone that you are brave, you don't need to go back. It will get easier. You do not need to use that as a coping method, you don't need to rely on those people.

I believe in you, breathe, relax, take some time offline if you need to and stay safe.

(Unless you're trying to recover from being proship- Please DNI with this post if you are proship)

[antipratfaves]

Hi is it alright if I make two requests?

The first is Double Trouble from She-da and the Princessses of Power who is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-prat, Devqueer (link—> here) and a chronosian who reclaims the term “Transage”. 

The second is Alador Blight from the Owl House who is a chronosian, Catqueer (link—> here) with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATS and proshippers!

Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-PRAT, devqueer, and reclaims the term transage!

Alador Blight from the Owl House is a chronosian catqueer with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATs and proshippers

sometimes Billy puts images of the flags both with and without characters when it feels its too obscured by the charactrr to make out all the flags.

[crewtawn]

Did your description say you posted loli and shota and whatever at some point? Am I stupid? Please tell me that’s been dropped

God, a long time ago. It's totally been dropped. At that point I had been groomed into thinking it was normal. (Thanks Eddsworld Amino and Black Butler fandom very cool and based. /sarcasm)

When I hit 16 I found out that it wasn't a normal thing. Obviously changed my description. Does it still say it somewhere? I'll actually rip my lungs out and roll over dead if it does. I think anyone under the age of 18 is gross annoying nowadays anyway. Never having kids, those things infuriate me.

Sorry if this freaked anyone out! I am NOT proship, lolisho, or any of that crap. Blech.

[wildfeather5002]

A couple questions to ex proshippers: What made you leave the proship community? How does proshippers' beliefs & actions affect them? /gen

[randomprosho]

gonna be honest, when an ex proshipper says they were groomed into being a proshipper, idk if they mean actual grooming or if they just didn't set their own boundaries and it caused them pain because they didn't know how to curate their own online experience or how to keep themselves safe.

Like, antis believe that grooming is just them seeing icky art in the wild... I don't want to be questioning these things 😫

[lungofthefang]

When having discussions about certain words like p*dophile and abuse being thrown around haphazardly, these discussions should include the words nazi, fascist and cop. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen proshippers call someone those things during discourse and in every instance it was unnecessary. It’s especially not okay right now since those groups are on the rise and actively terrorizing people on a daily basis.

[gagfadget]

I know you said that you’re not taking asks about proshippers so feel free to ignore this if it’s bothersome but I’m trying to break away from the community but I don’t really know how to?? All my friends are in that community and I don’t want to lose them plus I don’t want to be an anti?? You mentioned that you were an ex-proshipper so do you have any advice for leaving that space??

It’s fine lol just as long as it isn’t hate. I also may not be the best at giving advice but I can try lol

1. You don’t have to be a proshipper OR an “anti”. Most people in the real world are neither and most people don’t even know what you mean when you say those words. Being neutral about the whole proshipping vs anti thing is the most reasonable place to be at. For instance I still have ships that I guess can be deemed as “problematic” (Loustat from IWTV), I still watch and enjoy movies that can be deemed as controversial, I don’t harass people over ships or anything and yet I’m not a proshipper. It is possible I promise.

2. About your friends…If they really are your friends they’d respect your decision to not be part of the community anymore and respect whatever boundaries you’d have about it. If they’re willing to drop you just because you aren’t a proshipper then they aren’t good friends. I met one of my besties, (who’s also an ex proshipper now) in the proshipping community so it is possible to still be friends with someone after the fact but don’t let anyone make you feel bad for leaving.

3. The way I broke away from it was simply unfollowing blogs and blocking out tags related to proshipping and the community. I didn’t even make an announcement or anything I just kinda…did it. I also changed my username/blog around a bit and the only people I told about leaving were my friends and mutuals. I followed new blogs relating to my hobbies and interests and made a space that was more comforting.

4. If you do get hate over a ship or a piece of fiction that you’re into…blocking and ignoring is the key. I used to get hate anons for being into The Boys show and all I did was delete those messages and went about my day. Some people are just overdramatic and silly and ignoring them is the way to go.

I hope these were helpful and I hope that you’re able to go through with it without any drama or hostility ♥️

[layla-girlfriend]

Thank you so much for sending this ask. Even though I'm often bad at explaining things, I'd still be glad to help. At the very least I can say that acknowledging that portraying adult/minor romantic/sexual relationships, incest, and rape in a good or sexualized light is wrong and why that is. Those are things real people go through and it's a different matter than violent video games as, in my impression, they affect different parts of your mind.

Took me some time to realize that. Issues like that were why Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey were criticized for so long after all, as those books gave completely wrong ideas of how relationships worked which often lead to young people getting into toxic relationships. Real people have the "I can fix him" mindset that's so common in romance fiction, so it's not too farfetched the same thing applies to proship content.

I feel lucky my old proship mindset didn't bleed over to real life contexts, but it sure as hell wasn't good for my mental health in the long run. Hell, I felt like such a kid living with my mom I saw myself as the loli in adult/minor ship situations for a while and I'm thankful I grew out of that.

And just think, average people would be outraged and disgusted if anyone admits to finding a child character or an incestuous ship attractive, or anything similarly problematic, and you don't want to have that secret burdening you. It's one thing to watch Game of Thrones for the drama, but outright glorifying incest by portraying it as sexy and cute is a whole other story. This is why many victims advocate for stories about subjects like csa, incest, and rape to be handled in a more respectful and realistic light and not be glorified or treated as plot devices that can be thrown away.

I also looked it up and loli first became a thing when women started becoming more independent in Japan. It was based on a fantasy men over there had involving subjugating young girls, which makes lolicon's origins pretty misogynistic on top of the more obvious issues.

Sorry if this seems more like a ramble, but I hope this helps. I've been down this path before, and with a little work, self reflection, and friends that can help steer you in the right direction, you can break out of proship beliefs.

To any ex proshipper out there

[mikurulucky]

OMG! I'm so glad I found you! I recognized your artstyle and I remember liking your art since I was like 13 and you were a huge inspo for me back in the day. To clarify, I had no idea that you used to be THAT kind of shipper (if you know what I mean 🤐) untill I've read your latest journal on DA. Like I said, I was 13 at the time and had no idea what word "proshipper" meant and liked your stuff mainly because I thought your art was cute 😭. The most important thing is that you got out of it and that you're still making cool art 💖. Hope you understand and have a great day ✨

Thanks so much. Time flies, huh? Yeah also glad to not be following the proship blogs I followed back then. Also fandoms in 2013 basically normalized some fucked up shit, I still remember how popular that one ship between a teenager and his adult ghost cousin was in the Dude That's My Ghost fandom back then. :/

Glad to be out of all that and that fandoms aren't as afraid to call out messed up shit when needed.

[papyrus-please-one-chance-please]

Not my usual content but as much as I'm against abusive ships genuinely if you need help or someone to talk to my dms are open. I used to be a proshipper when I was way younger so I know that sometimes you do stupid shit because of trauma. My dni is for people who aren't willing to get help or who do it for fun or whatever and that's for my own safety but if you're seeking help it's important to reach out

[domesticatedfemcel]

i love you proshippers in spaces you aren't accepted

i love you proshippers who have to pretend you're antis

i love you proshippers in the mogai community

i love you proshippers in the age/petre community

i love you proshippers in the furry community

i love you proshippers in the therian/otherkin community

i love you proshippers in anti heavy fandoms

i love you proshippers with anti friends

you are all so seen and so appreciated. keep being yourself and stick to your morals ❤️