#evil-paddington

[onewingedangels]

I'm planning on getting a Steam Deck soon and thinking of checking out Assassin's Creed for the first time. Any recs on what game to get first to see if I'll be into it? I'm especially interested in the historical aspect of the series

i'm really bad at recommending anything tbh especially ac games bc there are so many dkgjdkl

personally my favorites are ac4, ac odyssey, ac origins, ac syndicate and ac brotherhood, but i think for starters the best would be Ezio Trilogy, and then after it you can choose and try the other games if you want :D

[iridescent-king]

I literally just woke up from a dream where the DBD devs had included paddington bear to dead by daylight along with Nemisis back when he came out to "soften the blow" (??) And there was a super HD cinematic trailer and everything. It was set in Haddonfield of all places and had Nemesis chasing and sacrificing like Meg or someone, and Paddington, (who had been crying,) looks up at him and says somberly,

"Its over now. You beat them, so stop."

And Nemsisis dramatically walks into Michael myers house before turing around and saying, "Ill never stop." Then mercilessly stomping closed the hatch.

And I thought, "wow I never expected id ever see a canon exchange between these two," then I woke up.

[non4ry]

Ashley Graham Week Day 2 !! Fashion/Scene

i’ve already drawn scene ashley so many times so I wanted to try my hand at drawing some different 2000s/2010s fashion lol, inspired by this lol

[alavender]

Wives (I am not ok I need to get a better type in women Jesus Christ)

[r0b0tb0y]

the size of the fight in the dog: chapter two

North London, 1998. Brasso is a bareknuckle boxer and Cassian is his manager. When Cassian gets into trouble he can’t talk his way out of, there may not be a chance for Brasso to confess his long-guarded feelings. He’s busy trying to finish the week with the same number of teeth as when he started.

Chapter Two: Evil Paddington

Cassian’s introduction to the sport was through fixing fights between inmates in Pentonville. He came out the other side of it with a keen acumen for bloodsports, a nicotine addiction, and devastating good looks.

[soyousian]

[imaslowlearner-butilearn]

I truly forgot how batshit insane this movie is from start to finish wow

[disabled-sapphic]

Cannot stop thinking about how Shakira knew she was being cheated on because her husband's affair partner was eating all her strawberry jam, like was the affair partner Paddington Bear's evil cousin Elizabeth Line Bear

[thefeaturesof]

Agatha Christie Books in Order.

Hercule Poirot Books

Hercule Poirot Collections

Miss Marple Books

Miss Marple Collections

Tommy and Tuppence Books

Tommy and Tuppence Collections

Superintendent Battle Books

Standalone Novels

Short Story Collections

Non-Fiction Books

Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot books in order

Here are the names of Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot books in order. It will help you start with your reading while ensuring the best experience.

The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1920)    

The Murder on the Links (1923)     

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (1926)      

The Big Four (1927)    

The Mystery of the Blue Train (1928)     

Peril at End House (1932)     

Lord Edgware Dies (1933)    

Murder on the Orient Express (1934)      

Three Act Tragedy (1935)    

Death in the Clouds (1935)   

The A.B.C. Murders (1936)   

Murder in Mesopotamia (1936)      

Cards on the Table (1936)    

Dumb Witness (1937)  

Death on the Nile (1937)      

Appointment with Death (1938)    

Hercule Poirot’s Christmas (1938)  

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe (1940)

Sad Cypress (1940)     

Evil Under the Sun (1941)    

Five Little Pigs (1942)  

The Hollow (1946)      

Taken at the Flood (1948)    

Mrs. McGinty’s Dead (1952)  

After the Funeral (1953)      

Hickory Dickory Dock (1955)

Dead Man’s Folly (1956)       

Cat Among the Pigeons (1959)      

The Clocks (1963)       

Third Girl (1966)

Hallowe’en Party (1969)       

Elephants Can Remember (1972)  

Curtain (1975)      

The Monogram Murders (2014)

Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot Collections in Order

Poirot Investigates (1924)    

Murder in the Mews (1937)

The Labours of Hercules (1947)

Poirot’s Early Cases (1974)

Agatha Christie Miss Marple Books in Order

Here is the list of Agatha Christie’s books in order based on their publication date.

The Murder at the Vicarage (1930)

The Body in the Library (1942)      

The Moving Finger (1942)    

A Murder is Announced (1950)      

They Do It with Mirrors (1952)      

A Pocket Full of Rye (1953)  

4:50 From Paddington (1957)       

The Mirror Crack’d (1962)    

A Caribbean Mystery (1964)

At Bertram’s Hotel (1965)    

Nemesis (1971) 

Sleeping Murder (1976)

Agatha Christie Miss Marple Collection in Order

The Thirteen Problems (1932)       

Miss Marple’s Final Cases (1979)

Agatha Christie’s Tommy and Tuppence Books in Order

Here’s the list of Agatha Christie Tommy and Tuppence Books in Order

The Secret Adversary (1922)

N or M? (1941)  

By the Pricking of My Thumbs (1968)     

Postern of Fate (1973)

Agatha Christie’s Tommy and Tuppence Collections in Order

Partners in Crime (1929)

Agatha Christie’s Superintendent Battle Books in Order

Here’s the list of Agatha Christie Superintendent Battle Books in Order

The Secret of Chimneys (1925)      

The Seven Dials Mystery (1929)   

Cards on the Table (1936)    

Murder is Easy (1939)

Towards Zero (1944)

Agatha Christie’s Standalone Novels in Order

Here’s the list of Agatha Christie Standalone Novels in Order

The Man in the Brown Suit (1924)  

Giant’s Bread (1930)   

The Sittaford Mystery (1931)

Unfinished Portrait (1934)    

Why Didn’t They Ask Evans? (1934)       

And Then There Were None (1939)

Absent in the Spring (1944)  

Death Comes as the End (1944)    

Sparkling Cyanide (1945)     

The Rose and the Yew Tree (1948)

Crooked House (1949)

They Came to Baghdad (1951)      

A Daughter’s a Daughter (1952)    

Destination Unknown (1954)

The Burden (1956)      

Ordeal by Innocence (1958)

The Pale Horse (1961)

Endless Night (1967)   

13 at Dinner (1969)    

Passenger to Frankfurt (1970)       

The Murder at Hazelmoor (1984)

Agatha Christie’s Short Story Collections in Order

Here’s the list of Agatha Christie Short Story Collections in Order

The Mysterious Mr. Quin (1930)    

The Hound of Death (1933)  

The Listerdale Mystery (1934)       

Parker Pyne Investigates (1934)    

The Regetta Mystery and Other Stories (1939)

The Witness for the Prosecution and Other Stories (1948)  

Three Blind Mice and Other Stories (1950)      

The Under Dog and Other Stories (1951)

The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding (1960)       

Double Sin and Other Stories (1961)      

Star Over Bethlehem and Other Stories (1965)

The Golden Ball and Other Stories (1974)

The problem at Pollensa Bay and Other Stories (1991)    

The Harlequin Tea Set (1997)       

While the Light Lasts and Other Stories (1997)

Agatha Christie’s Non-Fiction Books in Order

Here’s the list of Agatha Christie Non-Fiction Books in Order

Come, Tell Me How You Live (1946)       

Agatha Christie: An Autobiography (1977)

Top 10 Agatha Christie Books to Read

Given the number of books in the Agatha Christie series, readers generally hesitate to begin. Further, to understand the series well, one needs to read Agatha Christie’s novels in order. To ease things, the readers generally look for the best novels or books to read them directly and avoid all the hassle. So here are the top 10 Agatha Christie novels that will offer you the best mystery story reading experience.

[chaosduckytoast12]

Everytime I watch a TV show at some point I yell out

"That character is autistic!"

And then people are like

"It's a fictional character does it really matter, and it's not even canon and I do not support that blah blah blah"

Like I see autism I say autism, here's a small list of characters who I headcanon as autistic

Matilda

Anne Cuthbert

Mr. Darcy

Bert (Sesame Street)

Sherlock Holmes

Lilo

Donnie (TMNT)

Luna Love good

Newt Scamander

Paddington

Luz Noceda

Elle Woods

Twyla (This one's canon but still)

Anya forger

Star (Star vs the Forces of Evil)

Peridot

Marcy (Amphibia)

Hilda

Entrapta

Zuko

Zhongli

Diluc

Ford Pines

Ice bear

Hunter (TOH)

Orla (Derry Girl)

Minty (MLP gen 4)

[lulublack90]

Prompt 28 - Dogwalker Au

@wolfstarmicrofic April 28, word count 785

Remus relished his daily walk through the little park beside his house. It was a good way to blow away the cobwebs and stretch out his aching muscles from being hunched over his desk for the last eight hours researching.

Sometimes, when he was too tired to walk, he’d just sit on one of the benches and people watch. He liked to make up little stories about them. Like today, there was a red-headed mum pushing her son around in his pushchair. She’d had a long day fighting off the evil wizards that plagued this land and wanted to ask the fairies to protect her son. But at what cost? He thought to himself, chuckling to himself at the absurdity of his made-up world.

He spotted a pudgy man who was grasping his briefcase to his chest, his eyes darting this way and that. He was clearly a spy and was on his way to divulge key information to his boss. Remus couldn’t quite decide if he was going to the good or the bad guys, but before he could come to a conclusion, a flash of long curly hair caught his attention, as a man so beautiful Remus instantly decided he was a siren with legs, raced across the grass after a huge black dog.

“Come back Pads!” The man yelled as he tripped over his own laces, falling over. He jumped back to his feet, spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt before lunging forward again after the great beast. They soon ran out of sight, only the dog’s playful barks letting Remus know he was still on the loose. 

Remus groaned as he stood, his joints popping and creaking as he set off back to the entrance. He’d gone maybe two or three paces when his feet were suddenly not beneath him. He landed on the stony path with a loud thump. Pain instantly sped up his back and he winced until it ebbed. “I am so sorry!” He heard the man calling as his heavy boots clumping towards him. 

The dog, hanging its head a bit as though it knew it had done wrong, came and lay down next to Remus, dropping its huge head into his lap. 

The man got to him, breathless and hugging his knees as he drew in lungfuls of air. “I. Am. So. Sorry.” He said again between breaths. He held up the snapped lead. “He chewed through it when I wasn’t looking and took off. Normally he’s really good, but today, I honestly don’t know what got into him.”

Remus had barely heard what the man had said, he’d been concentrating on the way his full lips moved around the words. 

“Hi, I’m Remus,” He said, wanting to introduce himself. The man blinked at him and then grinned. 

“Hi, I'm Sirius and that clown is Sir Paddington the third or, as I like to call him, Oi come back!” Remus looked down at the now calm dog and patted his head gently. 

“Well, hello, Sir Paddington.”

“The third,” Sirius prompted. 

“The third.” Remus smiled as Sirius manoeuvred himself beside Remus. He looped the handle end of the ruined lead through the dog’s collar and slid the lead part through it, fashioning a new restraint. 

“There, I might actually be able to get you home now.” Sirius chastised the dog. He yanked the lead to get the dog on its feet and then offered a hand to Remus, who was still sitting on the ground. “Can I help you home first? Get you a coffee to apologise?” Remus shook his head and pointed at the house across the park. 

“That’s me there. No coffee shops in between, I’m afraid.” He joked. Then an idea sparked in his mind. “But you can come and make me one if you want.” The man and his dog intrigued him. The siren with legs and his furry pal. Perhaps he’d sung a song to enrapture Remus and that’s why he’d offered. Remus put aside his silly stories and waited for Sirius’s answer. 

“Yeah, go on then.” Sirius grinned. “Can this one come as well or should I take him home first?” Remus thought that Pads probably didn’t get invited to many places due to his size. 

“As long as he doesn’t eat my books, he’s more than welcome.” 

“Hear that, Pads? I think you just made a friend.” Sirius scratched his dog behind the ears. 

They walked the short distance to Remus’s house, chatting and getting to know each other. Remus and Sirius spent many afternoons after their first encounter walking Pads around the park, though Sirius had bought a metal lead now, one that Pads couldn’t chew through.            

[thealogie]

also yes he sings. and he sang beautifully! and he danced! somehow in a camp way! he looks like paddington bear for half of the show. with his little suitcase. god. and here was my most evil thought: his ass? phat. incredible work on his part

I am on the floor.

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Book of Secrets Fails as a Sequel on Every Level

2/?: Ben's Character Arc

We begin our deep dive into National Treasure: Book of Secrets by taking a look a Ben's character arc. The main problem here is that there isn't one. Even a little bit.

Just to refresh for those of you who don't steep in the brine of media analysis all day, a character arc is the change a character undergoes from the beginning of the story to the end. It's why we tell stories. That's an oversimplification, perhaps, but it's also true.

Stories are generally about a person who wants a goal, and faces obstacles in attempting to get it. In going through the ordeal of pursing their goal, they change. In most stories—and certainly most Disney blockbusters—that change is about fixing a flaw the character had, making them a better person.

A straightforward example is Marlin in Finding Nemo.

He starts off the story overprotective and unwilling to let Nemo live his own life, in a way that is detrimental to both of them. Through the course of the story he learns to let go of some of his anxiety, make peace with the danger of the unknown, and regain the trust he lost in both his son and the world/ocean at large. Hooray! Arc!

(Pixar movies are generally great places to see clear, well-done examples of story principles, with a bonus of lots of analysis to check out as well.)

National Treasure

Now. In all fairness, National Treasure isn't quite as straightforward a case. As I briefly mentioned here, Ben Gates actually doesn't have a character arc in the first movie. Or, more specifically, he has what's called a flat arc. Here, instead of the story forcing a character to change, the hero believes in their ideals so strongly that they force the story world around them to change instead.

Examples of this character type, also called a Paragon, include:

Superman

Captain America

Paddington

(these are good guy examples, but paragons can also be evil)

In the first movie, Ben believes so strongly in the treasure that he forces everyone around him to change their minds about him, his mission, and the reality of the treasure.

→ Patrick accepts Ben back into his life and even comes to support his choice to search for the treasure.

→ Abigail moves from thinking treasure hunters are somewhere between a nuisance and an enemy to actively becoming one herself.

→ Sadusky goes from pursuing Ben to letting him go and helping him get revenge on the "real" bad guy.

→ Riley doesn't really arc, which is not uncommon of a comic relief character.

But Ben goes from:

I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it → I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it and I was right.

The Ben we meet at the beginning of the movie doesn't have any trouble believing in himself. He isn't nearly dissuaded from pursuing the treasure. He doesn't have any strong hangups about breaking the law that he needs to overcome.

Which means he doesn't need to learn anything or grown in any way in order to complete the story. He changes the world around him instead.

Thus, a flat arc.

But what's key here is character change is still happening!

Book of Secrets

In the second movie Ben doesn't change either. But a flat arc is not the same as not having an arc at all.

In the second movie, Ben has already made the changes he can make to the world around him by believing in the treasure. Patrick, Abigail, and Sadusky are all already on his side. Their minds have been changed.

Except for the breakup, which we'll get to.

So Ben still believing so strongly in another treasure isn't affecting the story in the same way. Also why tf would everybody believe that Mr. Templar Treasure couldn't find another treasure?? But that's a topic for another edition.

He needed to have a character arc in the second movie, and he doesn't.

He starts out as a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them...

...and after a daring, life-or-death race to the City of Gold...

...he remains a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them.

Great work team; we learned nothing.

The reason this is a problem is because it leads to an unsatisfying story. The story feels unimportant. If everybody—but especially our hero—is the same person they were at the start, then why did they bother doing this?

More to the point, why did we bother watching it?

More on Ben's arc next time →

[princessanneftw]

Sorry, Charles, but the answer to everything is Princess Anne

By Deborah Ross for The Times

This week, a royal quiz because, come on, you thought you’d get away without one? This week of all weeks? And if you actually did think you’d get away without one, and I don’t mean this spitefully, aren’t you somewhat dense?

However, in the light of the no-fluff, no-nonsense interview Princess Anne recently gave to Canadian television and all the admiration that unleashed, and in my belief that you don’t like to be overstretched on a Thursday morning, particularly as some of you are still recovering from the news that Jacob Rees-Mogg finds broad beans “loathsome” — it isn’t yet known what broad beans make of him; I will ask next time I push one to the side of my plate* — I have decided to make this easy for you.

The answer, in every instance, is “Princess Anne”. Again, I don’t mean this spitefully, but if you get one wrong you will have no one to blame but yourself.

● Who is the best king we’ll never have, would have been known as “King Anne I”, and would have told those Repair Shop people to “just get on with it” and stop blubbing all over the place and let me know when you’re finished as I have to go kick ass and am behind with kicking ass as it is? (“I get up at 4.30am to kick ass but the day runs away with me all the same, Jay.”)

● Who was not their mother’s favourite child, which, to quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, proved “a big mistake. BIG! HUGE!”?

● Who sits somewhere between Kate being marvellous (and “dazzling”) for just wearing a dress and Meghan being an evil bitch and the new Stalin simply for adopting a different hairstyle?

● Who has never, ever suddenly adopted a different hairstyle and therefore can’t be either an evil bitch or the new Stalin?

● If someone attempted to kidnap you on The Mall and you thought, “What would a royal do in this instance?” which royal would most spring to mind? Particularly if you wished to tell the kidnapper, “Not bloody likely.”

● Ranking them in order, which royal do you suspect rolls their eyes at Fergie the most?

● If you had to bet on one royal retaking America, who would it be?

● Which royal was never dubbed “Randy Annie” or “Air Miles Annie” because they never adopted the kind of freeloading, entitled, licentious lifestyle that would one day bite them on the arse and have them running to Mummy?

● Who, of all the family, do you suspect most often swears like a sailor under their breath and would smoke Woodbines, if they smoked?

● Which royal would be most likely to run over Paddington in their Range Rover and not look back?

● Who demanded that titles weren’t conferred on their children, saying they’d have to earn their own money, and also, chances are, campaigned, albeit unsuccessfully, for Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice to get married at Hackney Town Hall followed by Nando’s?

● If a royal were to meet Greg Davies in a post-performance line-up, who would be most able to think up a brutal snub along the lines of, “A lot of ex-teachers become comedians. I can’t see why”?

● Which royal most probably inherited their mother’s Tupperware and will keep it going for future generations, thereby ensuring no royal cornflakes ever go soft?

● Which royal could probably get a potato to peel itself and leap into hot fat just by looking at it?

● Who sliced and diced Cherie Blair at Balmoral in 1997 by refusing to call her “Cherie”, as requested, and instead said, “Let’s not go that way. Let’s stick to Mrs Blair, shall we?”?

● Which royal taught their mother to use Zoom during Covid — “you should have six people on your screen . . . you don’t need to see me. You know what I look like” — but probably gave up on teaching her to text, like we all do, so no judgment there?

● Which royal probably couldn’t be bothered to even get their mother started with online banking?

● Who has inherited a look that amounts to wearing a headscarf tied under the chin like an old Greek lady guiding a donkey down a lane with a stick?

● Who has a look that, for some reason, never sells out everywhere the next day?

● Which royal did The Crown reveal to have been an absolute goer in their youth?

● Which royal did, in fact, have different hair as a young child and looked the spit of Harpo Marx?

● Which royal once reportedly said of Princess Diana, “I will not be pushed around by that brainless woman”?

● If you had all their numbers, which royal would you call if you needed a chicken’s neck wringing?

● If you had to come up with a royal who once appeared on Wogan while looking for all the world as if they’d prefer to have had their head on the chopping block like that other Anne, the Boleyn one, who would that be?

● Which royal do you most imagine would give you a horsewhipping** if you didn’t close the Tupperware properly, thus failing to maintain its airtight seal and letting the cornflakes go soft?

● Which royal has best withstood all the scandals as well as their own divorce and has provided so little grist for the newspapers we might as well all just go home?

● Which royal kind of reminds you of Willa from Succession, who sees everything that goes on in this family but knows if you get too involved you’ll be torn apart and fed to the wolves?

● Lastly, of all the royals, who would you name as the one who actually gets what being a royal is all about?

(*Funnily enough, I did push a broad bean to the side of my plate just now and it said: “The feeling is mutual”)

(**Or a savaging from her dog Dotty)

[sentience-if]

PADDINGTON BEAR IS A RAT BASTARD AND A TAX EVADING COWARD AND A TERRORIST.

HE'S JUST A BABY IN A RAINCOAT HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND THE EVILS OF THE BRITISH MONARCHY

[bonnieventure]

THIS or THAT pt. 37

SIX 6️⃣ or SEVEN 7️⃣ RING BEARER 💍 or FLOWER GIRL 💐 WINNIE THE POOH 🍯 or PADDINGTON BEAR 🐻 MORNING 🌅 or EVENING 🌇 COWBOY HAT 🤠 or COWBOY BOOTS 👢 WINDY 🌬 or RAINY 🌧 ARIES ♈ or GEMINI ♊ WATERCOLOUR 🖌 or OIL PASTEL 🖍 MILK 🥛 or COOKIES 🍪 TAMAGOTCHI 👾 or NEOPETS 💻 AUSTIN POWERS ♂️ or DR. EVIL 👨‍🦲 HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS 🦛 or ELEFUN BUTTERFLY CATCH 🐘 BROWN 🟤 or YELLOW 🟡 HERBS 🌿 or SPICES 🧂 PARFAIT 🥄 or SUNDAE 🍨 BRICK WALL 🧱 or PICKET FENCE ❕ MAD 😠 or SAD 🙁 FALL 🍁 or WINTER ❄ CHERRIES 🍒 or BLUEBERRIES 🔵