sentience-if

[sentience-if]

I followed them for a second because I thought they were just making fun of common tropes/patterns in IF, then I realized they're trying to be the moral judge of all freelance authors and calling out specific people and it just… stank

jokes about how a lot of IFs get stuck in RO react hell with no actual updates? valid, funny even. saying people are scum for daring to charge for their work? alright pack it up.

So there’s this blog getting popularity. Some people say it’s a IF writer hate blog others that it’s not. I don’t know I’m not informed. But I was sent something by one of my readers about one of my stories being mentioned there.

This anon said that I paywalled the rest of OYHS, leaving only the prologue. And to be honest it pissed me off. They made it sound as if I was this money-grubbing scammer who offered 5 pages of a game and then asked for money when I only ever update publicly if I have an entire chapter finished.

As a person in the world, you ask these things before speaking. That person is on tumblr so they could’ve come here to ask if the rest of OYHS is will be made public. They could’ve come and checked out the tag to see what I’ve said about it, they didn’t. I know another anon did set the facts straight and thank you to that anon.

At the end of the day because this niche is small compared to other internet groups, an author will likely see what you wrote about them. Before making assumptions, ask. It’s not that hard. You’re free to not like authors nor their practices but at least get the facts straight.

So to clarify my three current stories will be free until I finish them. Since I want to publish them officially the demos will likely be up to a certain chapter when I finally get to that point which is a few years from now.

[sentience-if]

Authors will add 3.5 thousand words to a scene they thought they'd completed rather than writing a single transition scene. It's me. I'm authors.

[sentience-if]

"but he can't kill the Joker because he knows the killing won't end with him!" I think the amount of people who have died, been injured, or been indirectly affected by Batman's inaction outweigh the amount of people he would theoretically kill himself. He should stop being a pussy and send that twink to hell.

luigimangione.png

[sentience-if]

Nonono, they are right. Why should it be Batman responsibility to kill the guy??? They should just make a big event, a lottery or contest, and the winner gets to kill the Joker! Problem solved, Batman doesn’t get extra trauma or whatever is going with him and someone gets to kill the clown. Everyone is happy.

this is something the joker would come up with to delay his execution and plot an escape. nice try clown man

[sentience-if]

PSA- this one's fake

Being on anon and deliberately cutting the link to gazavetters are the first red flags

[sentience-if]

Hey bestie I’m adding notre dame by Paloma Paris to my Io playlist, I’m new here (!!!) so if this has been brought up already smash my skill with hammers k thank you also kiss ur brain for making my most tiredest there’s ever been putting the Ho in Holy Man Klaus Amelia Kirkhall

Also as a Jason Todd apologist Batman should have absolutely killed the Joker with his bare hands 😌

adsfhjdks not klaus amelia kirkhall

notre dame IS on one of the playlists I listen to a lot while writing sentience, sooooo valid

[sentience-if]

i think batman should stop being a baby and just chop that guy's head off

I Don't think Batman has any fault in Joker crimes, he already stops the Joker and brings him into custody, it's not his responsibility to be the judge and executiner nor it should be. Especially considering that Batman as a character has a Deep aversion to killing due to his trauma the same reasson he doesn't use guns, and i think it's unfair to expect him to be the one to cross that line.

Of course it kinda falls apart if you think about how Joker escapes dozens of times and is responsible for sometimes millions of deaths, and somehow Batman is the only person on the planet that can get his hands on him. But that because of comics and they keep bringing back the characters so i dont think that batman fault either

Eh I personally think it’s irresponsible if someone keeps escaping to just imprison them. At that point you end up letting him kill more than he saves. Thus he inadvertently becomes his accomplice 🤷🏻‍♀️

Given that he is seen as the justice of Gotham he does become judge he takes on the role of the law. That is the role of a hero. Not to mention that the no kill rule came after the golden age it wasn’t always there. I would find it better if he had that aversion to killing and did it anyway thus allowing him to question the nuance of murder for the greater good

He’s no kill role applies to all his enemies so they also escape and they kill people so it’s a cycle of him essentially putting them in time out, they escape, they kill a bunch of people, he imprisons and then it happens again and again

It’s an arc that gets stale

[sentience-if]

Wondering on this fine Friday as I sip my morning coffee if the ROs differentiate having sex/fucking and making love. Do they act differently during?

If they do, are they aware of it being “making love” territory when with Io?

hhhhmmmm...

Ira: understands how it could be a thing for other people, but Ira doesn't take intimacy lightly, so it's always going to be emotionally charged

Val: for the most part doesn't really see a difference, but it maybe depends on context and their current emotional state. however, Val's chock full of love for Io, and I doubt they'd ever call that 'just sex'

Klaus: definitely differentiates, but it would take a very long time for him to make the mental switch, even with someone he genuinely loves. it's not outwardly noticeable.

Connie: doesn't believe in an overlap at all. It's either one or the other- no strings attached sex or 'you might as well start saying your vows' love. it's very noticeable.

Kat: I could not even begin to comprehend what goes on in Kat's mind re: sex

[sentience-if]

Io needs to invite Guinefort over for some cheesy nachos at Val's place, put some meat on them blessed bones

i think that would actually break Val permanently

[sentience-if]

when batman goes “i dont kill ppl grrr” bc he is turning to the camera so you kids at home know that killing people is Always Morally Wrong, Trust The Cops, Also Heaven Is Real: 🤮🙅‍♀️👎💩⛔️❌❌

when batman goes “i dont kill ppl grrr” but ive decided its because he has category 5 moral ocd and hes making his intrusive thoughts about becoming a serial killer everyone elses problem, forever, bc he is insane: 🥳🤗🦇🌸🎆💕🐸✅

ok that I can get down with

[sentience-if]

okay, i agree with your Batman opinions 100% buT ALSO, TO BE FAIR TO BATMAN: HE DID ORIGINALLY TRY TO KILL THE JOKER WHEN JASON DIED. THEY JUST RET-CONNED THAT FOR "UNDER THE RED HOOD"

(by the way i am not posting this to fight or dismiss you. bc i agree with you. my intent is just to add to the discussion bc i love the nuance of both sides, but again, youre so right lol)

however, i disagree with this retcon. i think we shouldve kept Joker's almost-death, i think "Under The Red Hood" shouldve incorporated it via a Bruce-Alfred conversation or something, anything, just a flashback for a panel or so, something. and ill explain why in a sec, bc it makes Jason and Bruce's initial falling out all the more tragic, at least to me

but first, real quick tangent:

now, which idk if youve seen "Under The Red Hood" the comic and/or the movie, but the movie is infinitely better, bc of how it handled Batman and Jason's confrontation

comic-UTRH-Batman is a bitch for that Batarang to Jason's neck/shoulder, that panel had TOO MUCH BLOOD to not have been almost fatal, and i do not like the implications in it

bc movie-UTRH-Batman let Jason choose to kill the Joker if Jason wanted to, Bats just walked away until Jason shot at HIM and then was able to disarm Jason. but we have no reason to disbelieve that if Jason hadnt pointed the gun to Bruce, that if Jason had committed to killing the Joker, that Bruce would hace stopped him. i like that they made that decision in the movie, bc it shows Bruce isnt going to restrict others' free-will to his own moral-code if they disagree with him on SUCH a heavy topic, even if he thinks their choice is wrong, we have no reason to think Batman wouldve stopped Jason from killing Joker in the film

BUT IN THE COMICS?? Jason tries to shoot Joker, and Batman yells "NOOO!" and throws a Batarang into Jason's neck/shoulder with a TON of blood (people argue if it was a fatal hit or just a heavily-bleeding spot that wasnt fatal, but me?? fatal or not, i dont think he shouldve aimed to hit his own kid in such a graphic spot, tHAT'S HIS KID. he shouldve aimed for somewhere else or used a less sharp/damaging weapon wtf, why aim for such a blood-squirting area???), and that is fucked. comic-UTRH-Batman is fucked for that, bc thats CHOOSING the Joker's life over Jason's health (if not Jason's life, deoending if you think that hit was fatal). thats ooc, to me. that's too far

im glad the movie retconned that confrontation to instead be Batman walking away and Jason changing the gun to point at Bruce instead of the Joker, that was better. that showed Jason cared more about Bruce choosing to kill Joker rather than Bruce allowing Jason to kill Joker. does that make sense?? like, to Jason, in the movie, being right mattered less than Bruce; and to Bruce, Jason being allowed to do what he wanted mattered more than forcing Jason to follow Batman's own moral code. i liked that fight better. the comics with the Batarang sucked

anyway, tangent over lol

BUT in the original comics, before they retconned Batman's actions, he did try to kill the Joker for killing Jason. it's just... Joker stumbled into a checkmate of a chess-plan (bc this was before "Joker is a genius, actually" characterizations, this is chaotic gremlin of luck version of Joker) where Joker became a diplomat for a country and, if Batman killed the Joker, it would result in war. like. World War 3 levels of war

how did the Joker become a diplomat of a foreign country and become THAT important? i dont recall. again, this was chaotic gremlin of luck-Joker, he bumbled into situations that saved his skin a lot. also, Diplomat Joker looks wild as fuck, he still has that crazy smile and facial proportions, but now he has normal-human-skin, it looks Wrong lmao but yeah. Joker stumbled onto Jason and Jason's mom, Joker saw this as "another stroke of luck" for him to have bumbled into, he got too hooked in on beating up Jason, that it wasnt until he realized how bloody Jason was that he went "....oh wait, Bats is gonna kill me for this. uhhhhhhh" and proceed to make the bomb the cover up his tracks and RAN, he ran and somehow hooked his fingers into a diplomatic immunity position to make sure Batman couldnt kill him, at least not straight-away, he was buying himself time and originally planned to play dumb about Jason's death

bc Batman didnt originally have evidence Joker killed Jason. but he suspected it. and it took somewhere between a few days of being relentless about the Joker to maybe a few weeks? but when Joker (while still a diplomat) blurted out an insult to Bats that made it obvious Joker was involved in Jason's death?? Batman was like "oh thank god you said that, bECAUSE NOW I GET TO MURDER YOUR ASS"

BUT GUESS WHO STOPS BATMAN??

SUPERMAN. because Superman doesnt want there to be a war, tensions are too high to kill the Joker rn, Bats, you gotta let him live. and by the time the Joker is no longer that diplomat and Batman CAN kill the Joker?? it's been even MORE time. and Batman's vrief and Superman's insistence has formed into this warped moral code of being scared of himself and how easily he almost risked a World War 3, killing thousands and harming millions of would-be-war-victims with 0 cares or empathy about the people whod be hurt bc he HAD to kill Jason murderer— and that shit scared him. he was terrified of learning that about himself. this was not the moment he created his "do not kill" murder-code, he had it when Jason was alive and they once butted heads about it (aND, AGAIN, JASON WAS SO FUCKING RIGHT, EVEN THEN. this was about Felipe, by the way. it's implied Jason pushed him, but there's literally 0 evidence that Jason did or not, but Batman is CONVINCED Jason killed Felipe which good fucking riddance either way). but this was the moment that Batman became SO MUCH MORE attached to it, that id almost call it an unhealthy coping mechanism(? it probably is one)

and i find that aspect really fucking interesting. that Batman almost caused a war to kill Jason's murderer. and what's the most fascinating about to me, is i think we all know, that if Batman HAD killed the Joker then and there?? a resurrected Jason would be horrified. Bruce would still lose Jason. bc Jason has the kind of self-loathing and moral decency where he does NOT see himself as worth all of that pain and suffering and many lives that a war would take, period, but also especially not such a HUGE war as what wouldve broken out

i still think sometime post-diplomatuc-immunity and Jason's return, Batman shouldve killed the Joker. but i think the characterization in the comics of Bruce being so horrified with himself that he almost induced a war in the name of vegenence is interesting and Makes Sense that he would then be so hung up on never killing ever. i think an Alternate Universe that had Batman kill the Joker would be really fascinating if they kept the aspect that "and Bats doing that caused an international incident that imduced a devastating war" and STILL Jason would be opposing Bruce's morals. i like that idea of "no matter what Bruce does, Jason would still grow to be against him" tragic cycle

.....but comics-UTRH-Batman iS A BITCH FOR THAT BATARANG, AND JOKER SHOULDVE STILL DIED SOMETIME AFTER THE DIPLOMAT STUFF ENDED, AND JASON IS RIGHT. i just wanted to add The Other Bullshit happening in tandem to this that UTRH's film and comic didnt mention, bc it is bananas and makes the discussion even more interesting in my opinion

and if you want to see more of this POV, i highly recommend ThePandaRedd (he/they) on tiktok and youtube. his takes inspired me to start reading the original comics to see firsthand that everything was right: Jason was such a happy Robin (minus Felipe), it is weird they retconned him into The Angry Robin, also they are where i first heard of the "tragic cycle where Jason theoretically will always oppose Batman" and the thought-experiment of "Jason would hate Bruce for inducing a war in Jason's name just to kill the Joker just as much as our Jason hates our Batman for NOT killing the Joker", and even pointed out that film-UTRH-Jason's decision to point the gun at Bruce for walking away belies a hidden intent that Jason hadnt been voicing (that Jason didnt want to JUDT get to kill the Joker, but have Bruce participate and approve, you get it). really love that guy, very entertaining, highly recommend ThePandaRedd. they also do skits! very fun

bUT YEAH, AGAIN, JASON WAS STILL RIGHT THO

lmao im so glad you've had a chance to get this out because I just KNOW you do the same thing I do and imagine conversations where you get to explain something because this is same cadence I think in hahaha

however. I fear I just think violence is sometimes the answer and batman was the first example I thought of

[sentience-if]

guinefort description, hot off the press:

[sentience-if]

They should just call Superman to kill him at this point. Doesn’t he kill sometimes? Or Wonder Woman, I am sure she would be down for it. Or, actually, literally anyone. Besides his fans, does anyone like that guy in that universe??? How hasn’t anyone killed him??? He didn’t have powers, right?? How is he still alive???

they should let me do it

[sentience-if]

"I think batman should kill the joker"

RIGHT!!!! BRUCE HE KILLED YOUR TEENAGE SON (JASON) WITH A METAL PIPE!!!! WHILE SAID SON'S BIO MOTHER WATCHED ON IMPASSIVELY!!! WHY ARE YOU MORE MAD AT YOUR SON FOR COMING BACK "WRONG" AFTER BEING RESURRECTED FROM A TRAUMATIC DEATH THAN THE SERIAL KILLER WHO MURDERED HIM!!!

[sentience-if]

ill always find it amusing when american fiction wants to be moralistic about not killing the bad guy but the author doesnt actually have a more humane way of resolving the conflict so they instead take the infinitely more progressive solution of "indefinite imprisonment"

[sentience-if]

One night you are faced with a dream that alters something within you, forcing you to return to your now abandoned childhood home to search for answers.

Little do you know that the house is connected to another realm where darkness reigns and sunlight is nothing but a distant notion; a realm your family appears to be mysteriously involved with.

Upon encountering a group of paranormal beings of unknown nature, you are drawn further into a strange and unsettling existence as you strive to uncover the truth of your past and find your way back home.

Whatever path you choose, remember to look out for your own shadow.

"The Shadow Society" was first published in 2020 and is currently undergoing an extensive rewrite. The new version leans more into mystery elements with added focus on characters, relationships and how they are forged in a world where nothing is certain.

One sequel is planned to release once the rewrite is finished.

Demo | Patreon | Ko-fi

* Play as a male, female or non-binary main character whose personality, actions and appearance are shaped entirely by your choices. * Play as gay, bi, straight, aromantic or asexual. * Discover a hidden world and take the first steps in uncovering its secrets. * Pursue one of five love interests along with two hidden ones, become entangled in a triangle between two siblings or remain single. * Determine who to trust and who to shun, who to befriend and who to antagonize, among a cast of characters with differing secrets and motivations. * Experience a story that explores the meaning of reality and illusion, truth and deceit, in a world of shadows that mirrors our own.

✹ A (Azuridian/Azuridia)

Their eyes, cold and piercing, seem filled with bitter truths that they refuse to share. They protect their knowledge fiercely and disclose only what they believe they need to when the situation calls for it. Some call them arrogant, but to that they would retort that they are the only one who can do what needs to be done. Driven and direct with a dash of sensuous charm, they don't hesitate to pursue what they want.

Appearance (male version): His face is angular and pale, his lashes a fringe of silver-white. His hair is slicked back, the sides of his head trimmed in an orderly fade cut. He wears a form-fitting, navy blue suit that gives a refined and sophisticated impression. A powerful yet subtle presence, he seems to quietly command the very air around him, emanating a sense of confidence that is both inviting and intimidating all at once.

Appearance (female version): Her face is angular and elegant, her lashes a fringe of silver-white. Her hair is gathered into a high ponytail that reaches her lower back, the sides of her head trimmed in an orderly fade cut. A sensual carmine red blooms on her lips, standing in stark opposition to her somewhat achromatic appearance. She wears a form-fitting, navy blue suit that gives a refined and sophisticated impression. A powerful yet subtle presence, she seems to quietly command the very air around her, emanating a sense of confidence that is both inviting and intimidating all at once.

✹ G (Gwyndal/Gwendolyn)

There is something palpably playful about their gaze. When turned your way, it seems to shine with the same kind of interest a child might show a shiny new toy. Though jovial and charming, there's something just beneath the surface of their demeanor that gives the impression that something far less pleasant lurks within. G has certain obsessive tendencies - their tireless interest in anything related to the 'Sunworld', as they are prone to call your home, for one - and seems to prefer the company of humans to the company of their own kind.

Appearance (both versions): They have tawny skin that contrasts with the short, blond hair that frames their rounded face, a slightly upturned nose sitting above charmingly curved lips. Their clothing style is eclectic and flashy, consisting of a torn yellow shirt with red- and black checkered pants. Silver chains hang around their neck and wrists, the metallic sheen matching the piercings that line their pointed ears.

✹ M (Michael/Michaela)

Though they aren't considered particularly bright, their dark eyes hold a reassuring warmth, alight with zest that could lure a smile from even the most jaded of people. But at times, when they think you aren’t looking, that spark seems to dim, the faint creases in their face appearing more prominent.

They are quick with quips and remarks they most likely hope others find witty, and equally quick to lend an ear and protect the things they care about.

Appearance (male version): His hair is dark brown, thick and tousled, often falling into his eyes. As an avid athlete he works out frequently, sporting a toned and muscular figure as a result. His clothing style is simple and comfortable, rarely going beyond casual jeans, t-shirts and sneakers.

Appearance (female version): Her hair is dark brown and thick, often pulled back in a high ponytail. As an avid athlete she works out frequently, sporting a toned and muscular figure as a result. Her clothing style is simple and comfortable, rarely going beyond casual jeans, t-shirts and sneakers.

✹ Q (Quaiel/Quarie)

A great, invisible chasm stretches between them and the people in their vicinity, a silent yet keenly felt tension seeming to follow wherever they go.

Bereft of the ability to speak, they somehow still appear more forthcoming than the people they surround themselves with. Somewhere deep inside they harbor an unyielding loyalty to A that is difficult to comprehend, especially when the latter's morals and actions often clash with what Q would normally agree with.

Though they rarely seek others out willingly, their eyes are kind, and when gazing upon someone they care about, a subtle tenderness seems to shine through.

Appearance (male version): His creamy skin is dotted with freckles that peek out around the dark muzzle covering his lower face. His red hair is curly and unevenly cut, long in the front and short in the back. A tattered, knitted cardigan falls off one shoulder, reaching a little past his knees. Beneath he wears a white shirt carelessly half-tucked into umber pants.

Appearance (female version): Her creamy skin is dotted with freckles that peek out around the dark muzzle covering her lower face. Her red hair, curly and wild, falls over her shoulders down to her waist. A tattered, knitted cardigan lays half-neglected at her elbows and reaches a little past her knees. Beneath she wears a white shirt carelessly half-tucked into umber pants.

✹ R (Rheylo/Rheyla)

Their gaze is withdrawn, bordering on hostile, their eyes a pair of flames that seem to want to incinerate whoever they’re aimed at. They hide themselves behind long, black hair and a hood, wielding snark and sharp comments as weapons to fend off deeper probing into their psyche. For all their posturing, they get embarrassed easily and may not be quite as laidback as they hope to appear.

Appearance (male version): His skin is medium-dark, the half of his face that he deigns to show sharp and eye-catching. His hair is long and black, some of it hanging loose while the rest is fixed in small braids. He has faint stubble that runs along his jaw and chin and a small gap between his front teeth that he'd rather keep hidden.

Appearance (female version): Her skin is medium-dark, the half of her face that she deigns to show sharp and eye-catching. Her hair is long and black, some of it hanging loose while the rest is fixed in small braids. She wears black lipstick and has a small gap between her front teeth that she'd rather keep hidden.

✹ Jaelyn

Caution follows their every move. Though quiet and reserved, they are not without humor. Once comfortable with a person, their perceived shyness can turn into good-natured smugness and gentle back-and-forth teasing. They have a certain fondness for books and will take whatever opportunity they get to quote a work they enjoy.

Jaelyn works closely with the Shadowman/Shadowlady and is often the one who carries out their orders, though not always without complaint. Though loyal, they are not a blind follower and possess strong opinions of their own. As for their motives and how they ended up in their current position is anyone’s guess.

Appearance (male version): His eyes are a mystery to you, concealed behind a pair of gradient colored, diamond-shaped glasses. He has dark skin and long tight curls that are parted on one side. His lean figure is draped in clothing that appears at once modern and antique, consisting of a violet blouse with an intricately designed jabot, waist-high pants and a pair of leather boots.

Appearance (female version): Her eyes are a mystery to you, concealed behind a pair of gradient colored, diamond-shaped glasses. She has dark skin and long tight curls that are parted on one side. Her lean figure is draped in clothing that appears at once modern and antique, consisting of a violet blouse with an intricately designed jabot, waist-high pants and a pair of leather boots.

✹ The Shadowman/The Shadowlady

It was their voice that drew you in first; the kind that could lure anyone into a sense of security and then cruelly leave you to navigate best you could in its absence. Smooth and mysterious, they grace your life through whispers and echoes of times long gone. When you first meet them face to face, they hide behind masks and shadows alike.

But who are they, really?

Appearance (male version): His turquoise eyes glow with a terrifying kind of potency, lips formed in an ever-present half-smile. He stands taller than most humans, his long hair streaked with black and silver, gathered in a loose ponytail that reaches his lower back. A few wisps that have managed to free themselves almost appear to float around his face, dark clinging to shining grey like black ink stuck to parchment.

His long lashes, each black one followed by one of silver, curve above tiny streaks and dots delicately painted to accentuate his eyes. A golden earring attached to a peacock feather hangs from his left ear, swaying delicately when he moves.

His skin appears polished and glossy, like that of a porcelain doll, his figure lithe and broad shouldered. He wears an iridescent blue and green robe that is adorned with gemstones. Underneath he wears a fitted, sleek black suit, complete with a tie. Strange, dark dust covers his hands and long, claw-like nails.

Appearance (female version): Her turquoise eyes glow with a terrifying kind of potency, lips formed in an ever-present half-smile. She stands taller than most humans, her long hair streaked with black and silver and pulled back in an elaborate updo. A few wisps have managed to free themselves from the chignon and float gently around her face, dark strands clinging to shining greys like black ink stuck to parchment.

A golden earring attached to a peacock feather hangs from her left ear, swaying delicately when she moves. Her lashes are long, each black one followed by one of silver. She wears purple-blue eyeshadow and shimmering purple lipstick.

Her skin appears polished and glossy, like that of a porcelain doll. She wears an iridescent blue and green robe that is adorned with gemstones. Underneath she wears a low-cut dress  that clings to her voluptuous figure. Strange, dark dust covers her hands and long, claw-like nails.  

Appearance (non-binary version): Their eyes glow with a terrifying kind of potency, lips formed in an ever-present half-smile. They stand taller than most humans, their long hair streaked with black and silver and pulled back in a loose ponytail that reaches their lower back. Their lashes are long, each black one followed by one of silver.

Sometimes their figure appears soft, shaped by feminine curves, other times lithe and slender with broadened shoulders. They wear an iridescent blue and green robe that is adorned with gemstones and slide off their shoulders, baring the intricate piece of golden jewellery tied around their neck.

Their long lashes, each black one followed by one of silver, curve above shimmering purple-blue eyeshadow and purple lips. A golden earring attached to a peacock feather hangs from their left ear, swaying delicately as they move. Strange, dark dust covers their hands and long, claw-like nails.  

Current Progress:

Written/reworked chapters: Prologue, chapter 1, chapter 2, beginning of chapter 3 (very little).

Edited chapters: Prologue, chapter 1, chapter 2

Total wordcount: Around 30k as of beginning of April 2025

Credits

@filopay for the gorgeous cover art at the top

Canva for the other images used in this post

[sentience-if]

I'd just like you to know Sentience lives rent free in my head (along with Klaus). I love what you're doing here and can't wait to see where your story goes

Xoxo 😘

:0 heehee thank u, this is the encouragement I need while I write several scenes of io suffering major torments