#evil monty

[helinedmightbehere]

[idliketobeatree]

dead boy detectives + text posts part 1/?

+ bonus

[bxnnie-bxwl]

Evil bonnie: my son wouldn't hurt a fly

Decommissioned monty on the ground:- but he would kill me???

Evil bonnie: of course he would, i raised him✨

Sue me

this was too funny and cute AAAA <333

evil!bonnie is a real father now.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

any moment where Esther was doing her silly little murdery schemes and Monty happened to be in the room, whenever they mentioned Edwin, i swear she was two seconds away from calling Monty a slur. she really, really wanted to

[justalittlechocolatemilkshake]

When Esther is laying out her plans to Mick re: revenge plan B in episode 7, she calls Charles “the smiley one”. I’m pretty sure Charles is never smiley when he interacts with her. I’m imagining that this is what Monty calls him and she just uses his nickname.

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

I am fairly sexually conservative I think and yet I have to say many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have a visceral hatred of sexuality I can only describe as pathological

[bluepaperboatz]

I'm so sorry for this.

[secondary-colorentimy]

girl you know what? *starts making disney fanart but i cant take anything serious*

[occasionaloneshots]

By the shoes and shit in the snake basement it seems like Esther’s only victims aren’t little girls so like, you think she ever considered using Monty to draw them in?

I mean like, Big brown doe eyes, pouty lips, dark hair. He learns your birth chart and explains it to you, takes you to a sit on the swings and chat while looking at the stars. It’s all simple attention and that would get the right people absolutely swooning. Yeah it might take a little longer but eventually he could be like “wanna go back to my place” or “I want you to meet my mom” and they would be bewitched by his charm for her to bewitch them into her snake basement, it would look like they ran away with the guy they’re seeing.

“I made you handsome for a reason Monty” could’ve been more than one if she just thought a little harder

I mean, as a Monty fan, s u c k s for that baby but like, Esther didn’t consider the evil possibilities of being able to turn her crow into a pretty boy hard enough.

[lunar-cyn]

Y’all really want to ship Davis X Davis

Glittergolf (Sun x Monty), Solar x Ruin, Eclipse x Dark Sun, Eclipse x NORMAL Sun, etc etc…

[flufallo]

The fact that an evil witch who feeds little girls to a snake and tortured ghosts created a gay boy whose only interests are astrology and a dead Edwardian detective out of a crow will never not be funny to me

[cinematicjourney]

Queens of Evil (1970) | dir. Tonino Cervi

[auckie]

Neil gaiman is such a fucking hack. All he does is ride off Terry pratchets coattails, gets. I really hate the word cuck but idk how else to describe the Amanda Palmer situation. Cucked by women and regurgitates that into flat one dimensional characters. Queer baits and panders to trashy online YA level drivel types. He’s the definition of the word fandom. If men like his garbage they’re always the kind of guy who has a beard and lets you know he has a beard. He probably owns a kilt despite not being remotely Scottish. Funko pop owner for sure, has a mini tardis and probably that dr who scarf. A pentagram tattoo, maybe some runes.

And like. Neil gaiman is a capable writer do not get me wrong. But his idea of creative writing is theorizing about how the afterlife is all bureaucracy bc that’s never been done by a bitter atheist. It’s always secularly Christian too isn’t it? I mean i guess that’s what he knows.

So im saying this knowing that he’s not solely responsible for it, really, and having read the comics and not enjoyed them at all but continued to have done so out of some weird sense of obligation, I’m very angry to admit that I’m enjoying the stupid Netflix production of dead boy detectives. It is absolutely a mishmash of other similar cw-type shows, but that’s just the thing. I eat that shit up. Riverdale, Sabrina, teen dramas with obnoxious editing and low brow production value. I even liked the second season of good omens despite like, hating a solid 40% of the secondary character and plot direction. It’s sorta like eating little Debbie cakes yknow? Or binging reality tv.

DBDA is better than all that, like it’s a crust above but it’s wrapped in the trappings of really shitty things, and whenever it manages to be a bit better it’ll sink a smidge lower by referencing its ilk or doing exactly what you’d expect of it.

Whenever I see the ‘two skinny whitish boys with obvious sexual tension and an annoying women in the middle’ I stop and ask myself— does this writer have a track record of making the same dynamic.

An obnoxious woman is not a bad thing. She can be a good thing even, but if she’s a mirror image of a million other toxic characters that indicates two things: projection, or a formula. Especially when paired between two male characters that clearly interact in ways that urge the audience to say ‘they should kiss!’

Then she becomes an obstacle. It’s rare for a character in this role to rise above the narrative, and even rarer for authors to try and write one capable of that.

A lot of fans will see people hating on her and cry ‘misogyny!’ Instead of asking why she was written, and why hundreds of other past iterations and future clones of her continue to be written. A similar character is the empty lesbian who stands in both popular media and fanfiction to prove that the author is not just obsessing over gay men and throws a bone to the supposed lesbian audience as well.

And then you have the flat poc or other LBT, sometimes disabled characters who serve to act as a tick mark off a checklist. It’s lazy, it’s annoying. But that’s a whole different can of vaguely related worms

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

nah, forget that absolute embarrassment of a kiss at the swingset, if i were Monty, THIS would be the point where i'd shrivel up and die

[skz-miroh]

Someone has to say it

I’m a Monty the Crow apologist

[meowierz]

i stayed up till 12 am to make this drawing im going to cry (i woke up at 6 AM today)