#everytime i hear that part on the song i remember them

[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

You want her

You need her

And I'll never be her

All alone, I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

[kaliforniahigh]

casual - n.s.

Inspired by the song Casual by Chappell Roan. Noah is your friend but not your best friend if you know what I mean.

Warnings: angst, Noah is kind of an ass, sad thoughts, neither one of them know how to express themselves and deal with ~feelings~, curse words.

WC: 1.677

Part 2.

My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch

You were used to the title of "friend". You were friends with the band. You met Nick first, some years ago and he introduced you to everyone else, and after that, where everyone was, you weren't far behind.

You graduated with a degree in photography a couple of years ago, and when the chance of touring with the band and learn from Bryan was presented to you, you couldn't refuse. Who would?

You don't exactly remember when things changed so drastically. Granted, you couldn't call Noah your best friend, but you talked to him everyday, you joked around together and even had a secret sign whenever you were at a party, to tell the other one of you was feeling a little overwhelmed, and was going to step out for a bit.

Looking back at it now, you realized these moments only held significance to you. You thought back to the night everything changed. How he was talking to you so smoothly, how he looked you in the eye and payed attention to every word you were saying, how his hands touched your thighs and finally, how he asked you if you wanted to get out of there and maybe go up to his room.

You also remembered how he asked you to leave not even 15 minutes after you were done, how he laid there scrolling on his phone as you gathered your clothes and put them back on, saying goodbye but not sticking around to hear his response. Pain clawed at your chest, but you pushed it down.

So when it happened again at a house party they were throwing, you left before he had to tell you. You told yourself you could do this, you liked him as a friend and not as something more. Besides, you were having fun and he was good, and by the way he was the one seeking you out everytime, you figured he felt the same.

You just didn't consider the fact that you were totally not the only one he was having sex with. Because right now, you were sat at a table at a bar the boys saw not too far away from the venue they were playing at, deciding that a night of drinking was in the cards to commemorate the sucess of the tour so far. And he was at the bar chatting up a pretty blonde. You wanted to know if he was telling her the same things he told you that first time.

"Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight, huh?" Nick sat down next to you, nodding towards Noah and the pretty blonde.

"Looks like it", you acted nonchalant, if any of the boys knew about this thing going on between the two of you, none of them mentioned anything. "He does this often?", you asked him, fishing for information. You had the priviledge of this being the first tour you were embarking on from beggining to end, so no one really thought anything more of your questions.

"Only when we have a hotel room. Can't really do much on a tour bus, you know?", you hummed in agreement, Nick said he was getting more drinks and excused himself.

Later that night, Noah left early (with the pretty blonde) and you went to bed alone.

I thought you thought of me better Someone you couldn't lose

So you decided to do what you did best: distance yourself from him. Every night, you always showed the boys the pictures you'd taken on your camera. Now you told them you wanted to wait until you edited them. You just didn't want anyone to notice you started taking less and less photos of Noah.

Nights out also became less frequent, but everyone just thought the exhaustion of being on tour was finally catching up to you. You didn't bother giving them any other explanation. You had to remind yourself that you were here working, this was your job and you were not gonna let him distract you from that.

You were currently working on some photographs you took on the previous nights, the chatter on the tour bus filling the space. You saw a can of White Claw appear in your field of vision. You didn't have to look up to see that Noah was handing it to you.

You took it from his hand and thanked him, popping it open.

"Is everything good?", he questioned you. He was used to you asking him to sit down, sometimes he would even observe you working because he found it just so relaxing. This time, you barely aknowledged him, just taking the beverage from his hand and going back to work.

"Yeah, just concentrated, you know?", you said, not diverting your eyes from your screen. He thought it was weird, but if you didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't gonna push you. He observed you for the rest of the night.

You honestly didn't know what you expected. For him to take your hands in his and tell you how concerned he was about your sudden distance? For him to notice you were hurting from the decision you made yourself? How much you didn't want to accept that you were like the other girls he banged on a weekly basis? Deep down you knew there was no way for him to know those things if you didn't communicate with him. But he acted like he already forgot what happened, you didn't want to be the one hung up on something that is never going to evolve.

You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss, I have anger issues

The guys played a festival today. The atmosphere was so different and exciting that it actually took your mind off of things. You met so many other professionals and exchanged so many experiences.

You were talking to Liam backstage as the boys were getting ready to go on stage. You noticed he used a camera different from yours and was excitedly asking him all kinds of information. You were interested in modifying your set up and try other things.

He showed you some pictures he took from earlier in the day and explained to you all the different settings and how he liked to adjust them. You were so distracted that you didn't notice Noah coming up behind you.

"We'll be up in 5 minutes", he told you, startling you quite a bit.

"Ok, I'll take my spot shortly", he nodded, but said nothing else, walking back to the band, the boys going over some last-minute details.

You found it weird, no one ever had to tell you what time you had to do your job, because you know. You decided to exhange numbers with Liam so you could continue this conversation later. You grabbed his phone and started to type your number.

"C'mon, Y/N", you heard Noah again, his behavior starting to piss you off. You signaled for him to wait.

"You're gonna be late, we're going on stage now", he wouldn't leave you alone. You handed Liam's phone back to him and bid him goodbye.

"What the hell are you on my ass about? I know what time I have to do my job, you don't have to remind me", you didn't wait for a response, grabbing your equipment and making your way to side stage.

The interaction put you in a sour mood for the rest of the day and everyone noticed. Your smiley and excited self was now gone, your face serious as you kept your conversation with other people short.

With the festival ending, you made your way to the tour bus, as you waited for the equipment to be loaded so everyone can hit the road again.

Noah was the first one to be back, as he took a seat in front of you. Both of you stayed silent until he decided to speak up.

"Seems like you and Liam were having a pretty good conversation", he noted, not looking at you, picking on a loose strand from his sweatpants.

"Yeah, he was pretty attentive", you responded, not knowing where he wanted to go with this conversation and why Liam was relevant.

"Oh, I bet he was", he let out a low chuckle.

"Yes, he was. Is there anything wrong about a professional conversation?", you crossed your arms in front of you, getting a little bit defensive.

"Professional conversation? Please, tell me you're not this dense", you were in disbelief, catching on to where this conversation was headed. "You honestly didn't notice that this guy is just trying to get in your pants?"

"Please, Noah. Don't compare every man to your shitty self", you scoffed, getting up to leave.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?", he got up after you and you could feel his presence on your back. You turned around to face him.

"Didn't you do just that to get in my pants not too long ago?", your eyes were fierce and held a fire to them.

"Oh, so that is what this is about?"

"I don't know, is it? You're the one who all of a sudden came here telling me who wants to get in my pants", you needed him to enlighten you, because you had sex twice and not even once he came looking for you to talk about it.

"I just thought you wouldn't be so easy", your opened your mouth in shock at his words. Surely this can't be the same person you knew.

"So now you're calling me a whore as well? You weren't complaining about how easy I was when I was sucking you dick"

"That is not what I said", he tried to defend himself.

"Well you might as well have", there was a pause in conversation, but you weren't planning on letting him say anything else. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. Just because we fucked twice doesn't mean you have a say in who I can involve myself with. Besides, you're the one who takes girls to your room every week. So please, spare me hypocrisy"

You turned around and left for good now.

Part 2 maybe???

[anemoiashifts]

stuff that makes my shifting attempts better.

🤍 : note: my “better” may look different from your better ! a lot of these (most of these) aren’t shifting related but help me nonetheless.

i don’t try & shift a lot to not add pressure onto myself. im fortunate enough to be happy with my life & sometimes i don’t want to shift. i like being here & that’s something not everyone can always say.

✦ cleaning — it helps me feel physically “lighter” & helps me focus. this means my physical space & my body. so showering, putting away laundry, wiping down spaces.

✦ weighted blankets — while not shifting related, they’re really nice to have if you struggle to fall asleep. they also help with stress & anxiety :)

✦ bluetooth sleep mask — if you listen to subliminals or methods of some sort of noise, like i do, when attempting to shift its just good to have so wires don’t get in the way. especially helpful if you regularly listen to the gateway tapes.

✦ setting aside time to shift — doing this rather then trying to shift randomly gives me something to look forward to. it also takes pressure off of myself & prevent burn out. i typically try & shift once or twice a month but have gone a few months without trying to shift.

✦ relating shifting to a scent — your brain tends to associate memories / experiences with scents. because of this, everytime i try to shift, i spray a different perfume that ive associated with each of my dr’s. each perfume is only ever used when trying to shift to that specific dr. i use those little sample / travel perfumes.

✦ stopping methods — i don’t personally find shifting methods useful for me. if i wasn’t feeling a method or if something wasn’t working for me, i just stopped doing it. for meditations / visualization guides, yes. i stick to pink, brown or white noise typically.

✦ subliminals — frequencies are useful for me — specifically subliminal frequencies that i made myself. i dont mean the “youtube subliminal” with sped up affirmations over a song but text converted to frequency. i dont usually try & shift with them but rather listen throughout the day.

✦ cutting out certain music / media — there are so so so many things being told to you everyday even if you don’t realize it. please remember to monitor what you consume & how what you’re seeing or hearing makes you feel. i don’t watch a ton of tv but rather youtube & play video games. being attentive to how things make you feel can definitely play a part in how you see yourself & this plays a part in your confidence. when confident, you are more sure of your performance ability. this can definitely play a part in when we’re trying to shift or manifest.

[pocket-jack]

Hey, guys! I decided to torture myself before sleep beacause... Why not? So, here's KidKiller's rough sheets with some headcanons I have for the guys (probably with a lot off mistakes cus my browser refuses to fix them for me)

Kid time, baby

I draw him differently now. I know his face looks more... diamond shaped in anime, but I can't get rid of his square coded energy, so... Heart-shaped it is!

When he recieved his eye scar he didn't lose the ability to see, but now it get's dry really fast and if he won't do something about it it'll gonna ache.

He had multiple piercings on his ear, but his powers just kept pulling them and one day almost ripped his ear of, so he (with a manly tears) decided to take them off.

I headcanon him wearing a corset, because he's a little chubby and he can't get rid of this extra fat (not with his appetites). Also everytime when he takes it off, not only he's forced to look at his hanging stomach, but he's also has to fight off Killer. Killer's only dream was for Kid to be well fed and happy.

Nor his, nor Killer's sexuality is defined by them, but actually based out of other's observations. Kid is pansexual because he's kinda gender blind. For him it's confusing that you're weak just because you have tits and extra hole between your legs. He's also demiromantic. Both of those preference he acquired during Kutsukku (where you couldn't trust anyone, even your lover. And where the gender norms were the least of your concerns)

He also have undiagnosed ADHD which mostly give him extra impulsivity and also now the metal can speak (thank ye, neurodivergency!). Sometimes it's stresses him the hell off, especially during Kutsukku. He could not sleep because of all of this buzzing he kept hearing from EVERYWHERE. Now he can control it, but sometimes it returnd and he has to suffer.

Metal also responds to his hidden emotions. It may float when he thinks, reflects or remembering something. It may rumble when he's angry, concerned, scared. Or it may form something if he's happy, in love or something like that.

He's hard rock kinda guy, we all know this, but I headcanon him as a music lover in general (so whatever makes his brain go bzzt, mostly rock). I find Thrown a couple of month ago and it's sounds like something Kid would like (probably even kin, esp Backfire). MSI is a basic thing for him to have (every punk need at least one song in their playlist). I guess not every person will understand it, but Пшлнхй is such a Kid coded song (Every Russian proverb, but one part is just sending you to fuck yourself is something that Kid would do irl. The chorus is just... mmm)

Killer, my beloved!!!!

I love headcanoning him as androgenous. He has a feminine features: oval shaped face, eyes with big eyelashes, even his lips is a little softer than the average male lips. That is the main reason why he hid his face, because everyone would bully him fot it when he was young. Killer was confused with a girl a lot during his time on Kutsukku.

During timeskip he strained a lot of muscles just to get stronger. He was neglecting himself most of the time, because he had a mission: to become stronger so he'll never fail to protect Kid ever again. They also been really distant during their training. Only when Killer hurted his arm they bounded again. Kid was surprisingly a good mentor for his healing. Probably because their trauma was almost the same

When he's wearing a mask he usually get's his hair out of the way so it wouldn't mess with his vision

Pre timeskip he wanted to work on his style, feeling obliged to do so, cus his crew was dressing up in colorful styles. He choose to fit into more West Bluish kinda style (cowboy boots and pants). But then anxiety hitted him and suddenly he felt too vissible and everyone was looking at him and... Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant expirience for him. He just wanted to show that he was a part of the crew too, but now he feels himself too overreacting and dramatic and stuff. It took a lot of time for everyone to convince him that it wasn't about the look, but more about the comfort. With their support Killer started wearing something he likes more, and it felt fantastic. He actually started to like himself in the mirror a bit more after timeskip and then Wano happened

Killer is asexual beacuse of the amount of trauma he suffered during his childhood. I hc him having a low libido too. He's still feels romantic attraction (only for Kid), and if he asks, Killer will have sex with him without hesitation. But it's only for Kid, OR for his sake

It is so logical for him to have OCD. Just him casualy living and then the dread that if he won't do something usefull his crew will see how fucking usless and worthless he actually is and live him behind the same his parents did just suddenly hits him. Oh hey! Anxiety! Abandonment issues! This man will explode, please, give him a hug.

It got worse after Wano. He's doing bad things with his face and no one knows. Even Kid. (I love making them suffer for the sake of Hurt\Comfort)

I am 100% sure Killer is a Queen guy. It just gives me Killer vibes... The same with Elton John. And also... To fit in his pre timeskip cowboy vibes into the oven,,, He's actually like country rock alongside with glam rock. Barns Courtney is his favorate

So... How do you like my silly little headcanons? Maybe I post something about Heat and Wire too. Welp, I'm fainting out of exaustion, bye!

[carletes]

Thanks now i really need them to sing that in my life 🤣🫶🏼

Lando was surprised at how excited Carlos was at the prospect of karaoke. It didn’t seem to square with his image of his teammate. Carlos had seemed so serious, so careful, maybe even intimidating and, if Lando was to be very uncharitable…kind of boring.

But then, Lando mused as they made their way to the place George and Alex had suggested, a lot of things Lando had expected of his new teammate hadn’t turned out to be true. Yes, Carlos was serious—but that didn’t stop him from laughing like one of those Lion King hyenas. Yes, Carlos was careful—but that didn’t stop him from manhandling Lando in ways that made him squawk in outrage and maybe other things. Yes, Carlos seemed intimidating—and then he smiled encouragingly at Lando, his giant brown eyes sincere and sweet, when Lando stammered over feedback.

So, yeah, Carlos seemed boring, but then…

“How’s this for a laugh?” George said, flicking through the songs in the karaoke directly. They had been picking songs for each other, and it was George’s turn to pick one for Lando. “I don’t even know if you’ll know this one, mate.”

Lando scowled at him. He was a bit worried about making an ass of himself in front of Carlos, who was politely sitting in the booth, nursing a beer. He looked ridiculously handsome in a casual sweatshirt and jeans. “No recording,” he growled at George and Alex, the latter of whom quickly put away his phone.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Alex chirped with false sincerity.

Lando sighed and stepped up to the front of their room. He scowled at George again and then looked at the monitor:

Everytime We Touch – Cascada.

Oh. Well. Shit. This was going to be embarrassing for another reason.

Lando made a split second decision to fuck the song up, and then the first few notes played, and he promptly forgot that decision. He vaguely registered Carlos sitting up right before, devastatingly, Lando lost himself to the song.

Tremulously, albeit no less passionately, Lando began: “I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me, I still feel your touch in my dreams…”

George and Alex were agape. Lando wasn’t even looking at the monitor. He knew the lyrics all too well.

“Forgive me my weakness, but I don’t know why, without you it’s hard to–”

“Sur-vive–!”

That wasn’t Lando. That was–

And as Lando stared, open-mouthed, his serious, careful, intimidating, boring teammate jolted to his feet, beer held aloft, and sang triumphantly:

“‘Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling–”

And Lando, relieved and…and thrilled, beamed widely and began singing along with Carlos, ���And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly!”

Carlos was climbing over George and Alex’s stunned forms towards Lando, singing the whole time:

“Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last, need you by my side!”

By the time the second part of the chorus hit, Carlos had drawn close to Lando, and Lando laughed and held his microphone so it was between his lips and Carlos’.

“‘Cause every time we touch, I feel this static, and every time we kiss, I reach for the sky!”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, singing with—singing to—his teammate, Lando registered that this was maybe one of the gayer things he had done in his young life. He also registered that his teammate was hot. And he was reminded, annoyingly, that he had nursed a low-level crush on Carlos Sainz for several years.

“Can’t you hear my heart beat so, I can’t let you go, want you in my life!”

And Carlos was very close to him. And he looked very happy. And he smelt really good.

And he was not a good singer.

But that was actually good to know, and Lando wasn’t great either, but that didn’t stop them from singing loud and enthusiastic about how much they wanted to kiss each other.

Lando was almost sad when the song ended. Carlos laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I cannot remember the last time I heard that song,” Carlos said, grinning at Lando. Lando felt his heart beat fast (ugh). The world seemed to recede—it felt like it was just him and Carlos.

“I can’t believe you like it!” Lando said, still in shock at what had transpired. Carlos smiled at him and shrugged.

“Why not? It’s good, no?”

It’s so gay, mate.

“…yeah, it is,” Lando said instead, and for a few moments, he was content to just keep looking up at his silly, affectionate, kind, fun teammate, who was looking back at him, warmth in his eyes.

“…how the fuck did you both know that?”

That jolted them out of their reverie.

Some years later, then, when Carlos and Lando were no longer teammates, when they were married, when they were talking seriously about whether and when they wanted children, and—most daunting of all—out shopping for Christmas presents, a familiar song started playing at Harrod’s.

“Hey,” Carlos said, squeezing Lando’s hand that he had tucked into the crook of his arm. “It’s our song.”

And Lando smiled and pressed his face into Carlos’ shoulder. “Yeah. I guess it is.”

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your soulmate's light and dark"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about what may be the "good" and "bad" sides of your soulmate: remember a soulmate can be either romantic or platonic (it's part of our soulmate family). I will let the message open to any type of soulmate also cause not everyone wants a romantic partner now.

As you can see from the pics, the reading is divided in two parts: if you feell called by the light side of one pile and the dark side of another, it's obviously fine. Sometimes lights aspect may mix up with dark ones and vice versa: it's fine. Nobody's here to judge what is really light or dark in everyone's life. Thanks to the 2 Anons who suggested this topic.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 top part/colored pics : light sides bottom part/bnw pics : dark sides - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

--light--

Someone good with words and communication, very talented in what they do. Someone that may be rich, not just with money but also in experiences. Someone into magic or that has magical abilities (or perceived so). A joyful optimistic, open, ambitious, spiritual, not too corrupted by the harsh world, and healing for you. Your connection may bring healing to both of you. Balanced, may also be doing two jobs. Very giving to those they like/love, the classic "helping hand". May also be an healer as a job (also through communication). They may be healing some dark aspects of them too atm. Physical in their displays of affections (loves hugging).

song: quiver | lonas

--dark--

A "shield hard to break": might not be easy to get closer to them, not much physically but emotionally. May have had not positive past experiences or fear being played with; once they trust you though, nothing can break that trust (unless you do something stupid which ofc would make them show you a different side of them: I think may have problems with anger, at times). Kinda possessive/jealous of their partner and friends/family. Likes to take care of you/them and go beyond in order to do that (meaning they may second guess themselves, at least on occasions). [18+ MESSAGE: may be a dom and like to tie you or ordering you]

song: the boy is mine | brandy and monica

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pile 2

--light--

I keep hearing "simplicity is the key". Might not appear or stand out physically, but hides loads of amazing and different traits in their character. Sophisticated, empathic, harmonious, likes to be one of the many out in the world, but appreciate everytime someone (and in particular you/their family/friends) remind them of how much important they are. Wise, smart, into books, a philanthropist. Might be donating a lot to charity. The person you'd go to for advices. Has continuosly transformed, grown and adapted through their life. Might be popular, even just in their field or city.

song: the fabulous emancipation of one harley quinn | daniel pemberton

--dark--

Too kind for the world, too sweet, too easily hurt. Too giving. Still needs to work on boundaries and self esteem/worth. Tendencies to people please, feeling neglected and abandoned on occasions. Still needs to work on some of their traumas, despite how much they've already done. Might fear running out of time and gets anxious. Needs someone to ground them and remind them it's fine to not know and to be patient and hopeful. To not be scared. Might have fear of commitment/intimacy, and not realize when it's time to take a step back and see how much they've done. They want to do more constantly. They need to do better. Never satisfied. Always searching for something else, and for someone that needs them/their help. Needs to learn how to take care of/show up for themselves.

song: song of the sea | lisa hannigan

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pile 3

--light--

This person is light. And love. Bright, optimistic, happy, a warm ray of sunshine. Ofc they have some issues too, but when they're around others, they try to be as positive and encouraging as possible. They want to see people succeed. And applaude them. They are a gift from heaven to everyone they encounter. People may randomly start speaking with them, confessing stuff to them e.g. when on a train or in line at the grocery shop. They make people feel understood and never judged. Very welcoming, accepting and kind energy. Tend to not see immediately when they're being deceived, may be a bit naive.

song: if you love me | brownstone

--dark--

Nobody/not many know this cause they rarely speak about their darkest side, but they've been through hell and back. They've been in the mud, they navigated the darkest waters but still managed to came out so pure and kind as nothing happened. Only at their core they know and remember every little step of those trips (and sometimes they may still feel that deep hurt). They have known hate, judgment, abandonment, neglect... maybe even more. They stayed strong through all that, through all the physical and mental struggles. It doesn't matter if others aren't aware of this trait and tend to judge them easily as a "lucky one". They want to save others from experiencing the same hell, and for this reason they try to be this bright kind person everytime they can. They didn't let pain change them.

song: fade away | lucky daye

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pile 4

--light--

A little bright pure star. Someone who likes to be at the center of attention, doesn't mind that. Might be popular online/make public speeches. May like to be different or results different in their environment (clothing/style, physical features...). Healing eyes/smile. May help those around them to change perspective, to see how beauty is hidden in the darkest places. May have scars or some other particular feature/medical aspect, and not mind showing them and how well you can live even while being "imperfect". They may nurture everyone's fears, trying to help them balance their mind and emotions also by being an example/guide (for some). Someone everybody can learn a lot from. They "change the game" (and mentality) of people. Strong minded. They use their differences (whatever those are) as a way to stand out from the crowd. Not as something to be afraid but to be proud of. Leader.

song: wanna be on your mind | valerie june

--dark--

Might have slightly manipulative behaviour occasionally, in particular when triggered. May fear not making it, not having done enough, not being able to do enough. Might fear to be forgotten by their dear ones in particular. Despite not regretting being different, secretly wants to be as anyone else especially when triggered (our emotional immaturity comes out when we're triggered). Needs time outs to get away from those moments (especially in nature/meditating). Constantly fighting with their mind and emotions to keep a balance, may experience outburst of anger and powerlessness/unworthiness. Might try to isolate themselves, not to hurt others. A bit of self sabotage and impostor syndrome. Might find their self validation in others.

song: under my skin | claudia kane

[channoticedmeuwu]

IMAGINING. . . SOOBIN W TATTOOS !!

p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — suggestive asfff, slight fluff, s2l!au kinda, | w — sexual tension type like a lot, pool scene, mentions of reader wearing revealing clothing (again it's literally a pool scene), mention of cigs somewhere + not really proofread

A/N — based on a thirst trap I saw on ig you have me on chokehold for the rest of the month <3 idc if the concept doesn't fit I needed it.

🖇️ READ PART TWO HERE !!

PARTIALLY INSPIRED BY ARIANA GRANDE'S “BREAK UP W/ YOUR GIRLFRIEND” MV & SONG

you've been friends with soobin for quite some time now— you kicked it off at a cafe when your friend wanted to meet up after coming back to town. she had a few other friends there with her, choi soobin being one of them. “dude, you have to meet soobin,” you recalled your friend telling you, that you he was this fun guy with a great fashion sense, and you'd just brushed her aside, not paying too much attention.

but now, you kind of wished you did. soobin wasn't anything like you imagined. you probably pictured an average looking guy with a personality that reached depths, maybe wore a few fashionable pieces here and there. but you didn't expect him to have wear the simplest outfits, and yet look like— well, the way he did.

you eyed him in a white t shirt covering all of his arms, the thin material subtilty revealing dark outlines on his skin, a delicate pendant around his neck and fluffy hair brushed aside to make room for his glasses. and when he smiled at a joke your friend made...shit. he was kind of cute.

and soobin made his efforts to talk to you, but you couldn't help but focus on his body language— his fingers gripping his forearm, his jacket riding down to show a few tattoos on his shoulder— and you'd mask a smile at him when you'd hear him repeat a question he asked you earlier, trying not to focus on the way his hand rested on his thigh.

and you'd see soobin when your friends hung out often— usually sitting in one of the corners of the table where you could observe everyone talk, and then driving people home in his car. but, despite his appearance, soobin was a sweet fucking guy. always offering you a napkin at dinner or lending you his jacket on a particularly windy night.

and everytime he stretched while he silently watched everyone talk at the table, you noticed there was something scribbled on his soft skin underneath his full sleeve shirt. and he'd catch you staring sometimes, his bangs falling over his eyes as he bent over to tap you on your knee, asking with a small smile if you're lost in thought.

so maybe, soobin had been growing on you. just a bit.

and the night you left a party after arguing with your ex about how you don't want to “try again,” some back and forth between bittersweet, blaring music & heated expressions flashing through shifting lights— your relationship had come to an end as abruptly as it had started, and you intended to keep it that way. refusing with a harsh pull, you rubbed your bare arms as you walked away, sliding between sweaty bodies in the tight room.

and you remember taking a seat outside, trying to wrap yourself in a shawl as cold wind nipped at your bare legs, muttering curses to your ex. the uncomfortably irritating sound of a couple making out in the corner was making your headache worse, as blaring music from inside muffled with the blowing wind.

you glanced down at your phone, knowing it'll offer you better entertainment than whatever was inside, when you saw a couple of texts from soobin a few hours ago.

SOOBIN

[11:12 pm] hey, y/n, how's the party?

how was the party? you scoffed to yourself, cigarette smoke wafting around in the air as you twiddled your thumbs hovering above the keyboard, trying to think of a response— when you reached over and pressed the call button, not really expecting him to pick up. “hey, soobin. I know it's super late, but can you pick me up?”

and soobin's response was a bit delayed, as if he was shocked you called, but he replied with something that sounded in-between a ‘sure’ and a hum, his voice hoarse. “oh, soobin. did I wake you up?”

“no, no. I was wide awake,” then you heard him yawn. your cheeks flushed as you tapped your foot to the ground, “sorry about that, soobin.”

he ignored your apology, mumbling at you to send him your location with another yawn. maybe you should have thought twice before calling him at nearly 4 in the night. but you didn't know that soobin was secretly over the moon at you calling him, he was just too sleepy to show it— every second he got, he had always picked to be your side. slowing down his pace to walk beside you, or discreetly allowing his fingers to brush against yours whenever he got a chance to, had his heart beating like crazy. you had his heart beating like crazy.

and when you finally sat in the passenger seat of soobin's car after a few more calls he made confirming your location— fuck.

you knew there was something suspicious about soobin always wearing a full sleeve shirt even in the hottest weather possible, but last thing you expected was him having an arm full of tattoos resting on the wheel, the other out the window. his designs slowly circled and disappeared behind the strap of his black tank top. and when your eyes trailed below towards his sleeping shorts, accidentally catching them riding up as he bent over to lower the aircon—

you snapped your eyes forward, feeling a blush settle on your cheeks. your fingers clutching the end of your shawl tightened.

and little did you know, soobin did it on purpose. he'd seen the way you looked at him, your eyes slyly (or not) slipping down to gaze at his arm flex when he scratched the back of his neck or readjusted his hair, a guilty, dark shift to your eyes when you'd notice his fingers on his thighs. and was it that bad to admit he liked it when he saw the expression on your face lightly change when you noticed a tattoo peeking out? you'd slowly press your legs together, a hand moving to hide your face as you'd look the other direction, trying to focus at the conversation everyone else was involved in. but he'd see you slowly default back to him, and everytime, he'd feel a tingle in his stomach when you'd lick your lips, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

“how are you? how was the party?” he gave you a sleepy smile in the car, his eyes glazing over you. you looked towards him, pressing your lips together at the way his hair fluffed up, his hand rubbing his thigh as he leaned his head back to the headrest, revealing the shape of his jaw—“good. met my ex. not doing that again,” you nodded, earning a small chuckle from him.

and throughout the drive, you felt yourself slipping into sleep, accidentally focusing on your reflection in the windshield instead of the traffic. your eyelids closing, the soft bass of a summer song playing in the background, the fresh car scent wafting around you— before the car would jerk, shooting you awake. “sorry,” soobin would mumble, throwing you an apologetic look before he'd suggest you lay your seat back, allowing you to sleep in a more comfortable position. and you remember refusing, curling into a ball to sleep instead.

and occasionally, a speeding car would pass by an intersection, and soobin would lean his arm out to stop you from falling forward as the car came to a sudden stop, a serious expression on his face as he asked you, “you okay?” and the two of you would trail your eyes down to his hand on your bare thigh, hearts skipping beats. and he'd snap his hand back, apologizing and trying to clear his intentions, when you'd just giggle him an, “its okay!” thanking him for looking out for you. and the drive would start again, and he'd yawn after hearing you yawn yet again, eyelashes bearing sleepy tears.

and right before he dropped you off at your place, he turned his body to face you, scratching the back of his neck. he was telling you something about not hesitating to call him, but did he really think you'd pay attention? your eyes watched the way his detailed arms flexed when he ran his hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the material of his shorts. your eyes watched the stars sprinkled across his collarbones attentively, wishing you could see the designs that hid behind his clothes.

and when soobin held a small ‘get together’ as he called it— was really a party— you thought you'd really never lived. you weren't planning on going, but after being urged by everyone in your circle, there you were, wearing swimming clothes underneath your dress and holding hands with your friend as you walked into the venue.

and eyeing soobin in the crowd, soft giggles and hushed whispers as the bass snuck up your legs— and you felt your stomach tighten when he glanced over towards you, a hand gesturing to come closer.

and dipping your feet as you watched everyone urge soobin to jump in the pool— him shyly refusing with a shake of his hand as he backed away, trying not to glance at you, sitting sweetly as your legs tread in the water. and he didn't notice someone sneak behind him, pushing him in, earning cheers from everyone around. and when he came up to the surface— beads of water dripping down as he pushed his hair back with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows, his dimples suddenly popping out. and he noticed you giggling as he pulled his top off, your eyes glazing over the chain that hung in the dents of his shoulders and collarbones, and he broke out into a smile, slowly walking towards you. “come on, y/n, jump in.”

you refused without actually meaning to, but then, everyone started a chant lead by soobin— and the last thing you remember before your ears crashed against the surface of the water was soobin's chin coming to rest on your knees, tilting his head with a smirk as he snaked his hands around your thighs to pull you in.

and everyone followed suit, splashes of water against your cheeks as soobin held your arms, laughing as the waves hit your face.

and everything happened so fast, his arms clinging to you when someone splashed water on you, or him wiping the water out of his face with a soft gasp. his hand on your waist, your leg slowly wrapping around his waist as he pushed you into a corner when everyone left to grab towels— bending lower, almost underneath the water when you felt his breath hit the cold skin of your lips, a soft, “can I?” as he pulled your hair to the side, his lips against your own, pushing you against the cold walls of the pool.

the sensation of the ripples of water against your hips was sending you over the edge whenever he adjusted your legs around him, softly smiling when he'd hear you mumble something in between, feeling your hands around him. and it was almost horrifying the way you could hear him kiss you, despite the music in the back, despite the water rippling around the two of you.

and you remember you snuck your fingers to pull lightly at his hair, the other hand finding it's way to tug the pendant around his neck when he pulled away— hooded eyes and cute puffy lips, his cheeks pink as he whispered, dragging your hand down his tattooed chest.

“if you keep doing that, we'll have a little problem.”

txt — masterlist

main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny  @kdyism  @neotism  @bluejaem  @radiorenjun  @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused  @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi @bangchansbae

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 19!!!

Okay SO, that last poll was insane. Everytime I tried to break the tie by calling in a friend, you all tied it again! Even after the poll ended! You talented lot, you. In the end, the only way I could think to do it, was to split the difference. AND SO we get a half-and-half situation. Honestly, I legit love the way all of you keep me on my toes. It makes writing this so much fun.

Alrighty then. Let's do this.

Beginning || Previous || Next

***************************

The toilet seat art museum took more out of you than you thought. Anathema too, as it happens, because you find out very quickly that she snores. Not wanting to wake her up, you tuck your phone away so she can sleep in the quiet, and weirdly enough, her snoring becomes like white noise, and after a few minutes, you find yourself drifting off as well. It isn’t long before both humans are asleep, leaving the celestials to their own devices.

For a while, they continue on in silence. Well, “silence” is technically the wrong word, but the point is, they don’t talk. Crowley is driving, Aziraphale is in the passenger’s seat, and Sardis sits in the middle of the backseat. For a while, there is nothing except Anathema’s snoring. Honestly, they put up with the sound for a surprisingly long time.

Crowley’s patience runs out first. He needs to hear something that isn’t snoring, so he goes for the radio. Which, as it turns out, is a bit of a mistake. You see, the SUV has now had the benefit of Celestial Energy for a couple of days, and has started to wake up – slowly mind you. With you being in charge of the music with a playlist, it’s had some time to listen to a wide variety of music. It is now developing its own mind and its own taste. Remember that this is not the Bentley. The Bentley likes Queen. The SUV is a significantly younger model, and has decided it rather likes Taylor Swift. And when Crowley turns on the radio for the first time, it’s the equivalent of handing the car control of the playlist. So it decides to lead with Wildest Dreams, which, for those unfamiliar, goes like this:

He said “Let’s get out of this town,

Drive out of the city, away from the crowds.”

I thought “Heaven can’t help me now”

Nothing lasts forever

But this is gonna take me down

He’s so tall, and handsome as Hell

He’s so bad, but he does it so well.

I can see the end as it begins

My one condition is

Crowley slams the OFF button, intentionally with more force than necessary. Finally, after days of forcing them to listen to your songs, the brainrot is spreading.

“Are you alright there, Crowley?” Aziraphale asks gently.

“Fine, Angel,” Crowley mutters through gritted teeth, “Just remind me to throw that human’s blasted phone out the window next chance I get.”

“As long as they are also willing to play my symphonies, I will do no such thing.”

Crowley humphs, and settles back down. Sardis is smiling in the back seat. He waits a moment before speaking.

“So how long have the two of you been together?” he asks. Crowley swerves, but Aziraphale grabs the steering wheel to hold the car steady. Aziraphale gives Crowley a chastising look.

“Crowley, do get a hold of yourself dear, the humans are sleeping.”

“Why should I care?” he growls, definitely because he is a demon and definitely not because if the humans were to wake up there would be a buffer so they wouldn’t have this conversation. Definitely.

Aziraphale sighs. “We’re not, I’m afraid,” he says, “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Can’t fool me, sunshine. I’ve been around too.”

“Can I at least throw him out the window?” Crowley mutters. Aziraphale ignores him.

“It’s best not to discuss it,” he says instead to Sardis, “Rather a dangerous topic.”

Sardis hums to himself thoughtfully. “I mean, we’re staring the end of the world in the face,” he says, “But sure.” And he leaves it there. Silence returns. Actual silence, as Anathema has finally stopped snoring. Suddenly the air feels thick and uncomfortable. Aziraphale clears his throat.

“It’s very kind of you to be helping us,” Aziraphale tries.

“Yeah well,” Sardis says with a shrug, “Not exactly keen on the world ending. I’d rather not go to Heaven OR Hell if I can help it.”

“Oh come now, Heaven’s not all that bad.”

“You ever been?” Sardis asks with a chuckle. Crowley snorts a laugh despite himself. “There, you see,” Sardis says, pointing at the demon, “He gets it.” Aziraphale sits back with a harumph, and decides that staring out the window is the better option after all.

This time the silence lasts another hour at least. The sky is darkening, the stars appearing over the sparse Texas landscape. Out here in the middle of practically nowhere, the sky is hardly sleeping. There are millions of stars out here. Far from the light pollution they even have different colours, and there is a faint white swipe across the sky – the Milky Way Galaxy, visible to the naked eye from one of its own resident planets. Dear Reader, if ever you get a chance to get away away from the light pollution, do so. It is breathtaking.

At least, it is until Anathema snorts and grumbles awake.

“My neck hurts,” she complains, still half asleep. She blinks herself into a more-coherent state. “If we don’t pull over so I can get a good sleep, I will curse every single one of you.” She rolls her head to the other side and mutters “I will. I know how.”

The celestials look at each other.

“I think,” Aziraphale says, “That perhaps resting for the night would be a good thing.”

Crowley nods, if only because he doesn’t want to test Anathema’s threat. It doesn’t take long for them to find a convenient motel conveniently located just off the road they are currently on. Conveniently. Because I say so.

This is also when you wake up. You’re groggy and sore, but the lights of the motel bring you out from the lull of sleep, and as soon as your brain realizes you are at a motel, you wake up fast. Why? Because you are at a motel. While on a mission to save the world. Your fan-brain is already going at a hundred miles an hour by the time Crowley parks. You practically jump out of the car. Does this place have a weird gimmick or theme? Does it have a pool? A sketchy lobby? Local supernatural lore?? You have questions and you need to know. But, ah, not alone. At a random sketchy motel. In the middle of nowhere. At night. So you hesitate and wait for everyone else to get themselves together and exit the vehicle. Crowley pops the trunk so you can go get your bag, and by the time you get back, Sardis and Aziraphale are already gone – checking you all in, no doubt.

Under the questionable fluorescent lights, you can see a wooden gate. Well, I mean...curiosity such and such, right? You saunter over, and peek between the boards. It looks like...Yes! A pool! Will you be swimming in it? Absolutely not. Are you excited that this place has one anyway? Absolutely yes.

“Okay,” Sardis calls behind you. You turn around and see him waving a card key against a door. “I’m all set. Good night folks!” You wave to him as he disappears into his room and the door clicks shut behind him. Aziraphale walks to the next room and opens it with a similar card key. You follow. Honestly, you’re expecting him to have expanded the room into another Royal Suite or something, but when you follow him into the room you find...a normal motel room with two beds. Oh, this is excellent. You turn to face Crowley and Aziraphale with a huge smile on your face.

“I am not sharing a bed with either of you,” You declare, “Because you,” You point at Aziraphale, “Will definitely be awake all night reading with the light on. And you” You point at Crowley “Are exactly the type to take all the blankets. I will share with Anathema because we actually need to sleep. SO as far as YOU TWO are concerned – THERE’S ONLY ONE BED!!” You stand there with your hands on your hips. You are triumphant. You have won. There is only one bed. A fan’s dream! Fanfiction trope come to life! Everything seems possible and wonderful for a moment…

Until Aziraphale hands you another card key.

“You and Miss Device are in the room next door,” he says. Damn. Logic. You deflate really quickly and take the key with a huff. As you approach the door, you turn to look at them over your shoulder.

“I hope you share anyway,” You mutter, before you exit.

The room next door is identical. Anathema, apparently, is able to fall asleep pretty quickly, but you can’t settle your brain that easily. So you may or may not spend some time trying that trick where you put a glass up against the wall to try and hear what’s on the other side. Not that you want to snoop, but, well, yeah okay you want to snoop a little. Unfortunately it doesn’t work, so you give up and watch tik tok on your phone instead. Your battery hasn’t needed recharging since you started hanging out with supernatural entities. Funny, that. Between Tik Tok, Reddit, and Tumblr, you’re able to eventually wear out your brain enough to make closing your eyes a good call. And from there you fall back asleep with no issue.

And yes, Dear Reader, Crowley and Aziraphale did share a bed. Just so you know.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[insanetvgirl]

| YANDERE ZOEY AND MIKE HEADCANONS (Romantic) |

Gender Neutral! They/Them

Reality show/original au or non reality au(Up for interpretation)!

Poly or team up!(Up for interpretation)

Theme song: Bust your kneecaps!

TW: OBSSESIVE BEHAVIOR,MAYBE DELUSIONIAL BEHAVIOR,YANDERES,BAD ENGLISH AND BAD GRAMMAR!

Gosh,these two love you too much!

TOO MUCH! Really

Zoey and Mike are obssesive,they only think about you,everytime,eating,taking a bath,sleeping,in a challange,they always think about!

You are so perfect,you are beautiful,smart,kind,sweet,you must be a angel who feel from the sky!

Ok,they get jealous easily about you,they trust you! But the persons who talk with you(and flirty with you)don't deserve your attention! Only they must hear your voice and around you!

Now,Mike is the most overprotective,Zoey is really protective too,but hell you don't need even to ask for help that Mike is on your side(but because of him Zoey is starting to be more protective with you)

" Hey Mike,where is Y/n? "

" Uh? Y/n? Y/n!? Y/N!!! "

" WAIT FOR ME- "

They are always around you,privacy? That word don't exist! They must be around you everytime silly! How do you think they are going to protect you? Oh,and because of that they easily discover your secrets! So don't matter how much you try to hide something,they always know what is happening with you!

They always try to make you happy! They even made some hand made gifts for you!

Come on! They love you! You don't would leave they?

Right? Right?

PLEASE SAY THAT YOU NEVER WILL LEAVE THEY!

SAY IT!

" Jonny don't leave me

You said you'd love me forever

Honey, believe me

I'll have your heart on a platter "

NOTES

Yup,i love roti

MY FAV COUPLE I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH!!!! BEST COUPLE EVER!

If you all want i can make a part 2 with the alters! I wanted to make this focused in Mike and Zoey!

I love u all and thanks for reading! Remember of taking care of youself and drink some water!

[bambiilooza]

okay so ii thought this would be fun soooo

what epic saga is ur fav nd least fav, what is ur fav song in each saga, ur least fav in each saga, your overall fav and least fav

feel free to ramble and/or go off on a tangent about hidden meanings i fw that shit very hard

oh boy. these were really hard to narrow down. thanks for this ask btw, it was fun!!

my fav saga :

the underworld!! ik it's the shortest but each song is such a banger and it's the only one for where each song gets better from the last. all three of the songs are in my top 10 easy.

the polites cameo broke ppl's hearts ik but it was amazing to hear steven in the role again. i love his voice. anticlea was amazing too.

no longer you was actual fire. i LOVE epic's version of tirisias a lot and his voice is perfect. the orchestration in that song is actually beautiful and both actors absolutely kill it.

and monster? oh i'll take about monster later

least fav saga :

cyclops saga. i like it but i don't have strong feelings about the songs except for my goodbye. plot wise, it's important ofc but i dont find myself listening to it as often cuz it's just sad. i do like all the songs tho

i will say polyamorous the cyclops sounds REALLY GOOD in the remastered version. woah what a voice improvement holy moly

i really love my goodbye tho. that song is in my top 10. the 'YOU'RE ALONE!' is actually insane. i need like a 100 animatics for it. it's too good.

fav song in each saga :

just a man

i LOVE jay's performance here. this song made me cry when i first listened to it. i mean it's just everything.

i think most ppl thought 'oh musical about odyssey call epic probably silly boyish fun' and for the most part horse and the infant leads u on with that. then THIS SONG happens and ur crying on the floor.

i love watching animatics for it too. unlike most songs in epic, there is no action in this song, it's pure agony of a man grappling with one of the hardest things anyone can do and it's fucking amazing.

and i said it before just now but the VOCALS. stunning. perfect. jaw dropping.

in my ideal epic animated movie, what i want is for horse and the infant and just a man BEFORE the title card drop. and when ody sings the last line of just a man, it fades to the title screen. then it would be daytime and full speed ahead can happen.

idk if that makes sense but i think it would slay so hard.

my goodbye

OH MY GOD. THIS SONG. IT IS HEARTBREAKING

the callbacks to warrior of the mind takes me by surprise everytime like holy shit she really just said that?? then ody's 'YOU'RE ALONE!'

it's perfect. the pure rage from both of them is just so good.

it's my favourite saga ender. it's so cold and just wow. like athena was in one song before but the EMOTION from both of them is enough to make u wanna cry.

ruthlessness

see one part of my brain is like 'oh that's interesting the villain and hero have conflicting moralities and the hero may become like the villain and he is establishing the hero's thinking as flawed for his purpose.' then the other half of my brain is dead from how much steven rodriguez SLAYS the performance.

the lyrics are great as with all the song. the callback to remember them? chef's kiss. poseidon really sat down with his son and took notes for his villain number lol

but my fav things about it the performance. the poseidon voice is so so so so good. and i'm not saying it in a 'haha i find it hot' way. i mean i do but also, it's just perfect for poseidon. he sounds like if salt could talk and that's a compliment btw. his sass and personality is great too.

'but noooo' i just. i love poseidon's voice so much.

and i am shaking in my boots for get in the water.

there are other ways

i love the route jay went with the plot. this portrayal of circe is so important to me, i love her sm. i read the circe book just before the circe saga - and i liked it overall - but the ending left a horrible taste in my mouth so this was a very welcome change.

it's so well done. our boy ody '🥺my wife🥺'-ing his way out of the situation? perfect. ik it's more complicated but the end of the circe saga is such a good character moment for him.

and CIRCE. CIRCE MY QUEEN ILY.

her sympathising with ody and helping him is great. i love that she gets fleshed into, why she does what she does and when she sees the good in ody. she really is a loving queen and i love her sm.

her vocals - especially at the end - are stunning. i love tayla sindal's voice for circe. like with poseidon, that is the perfect voice for the character.

i really love gigi's animatic of this song and that's just how i imagine it happening. it's actually perfect. my fav song was a tie between this and done for but the animatic made me fall in love with this one.

monster

odysseus gives into the pam pam 🦖🦖

it's my favourite song in epic. i have a LOT of thoughts on it but i actually cannot put them into words.

mutiny

this one is fresh so my thoughts will not be cohesive. the amount of callbacks in this song actually kills me.

i cried at the livestream. exactly at the lyric 'ody we're never gonna get to make it home' i mean.

ODY. ODY not CAPTAIN. I CAN'T END THIS. poor choice of words nm

but i will say i've seen some takes on eurylochus that i definately do not agree with and he's one of my fav characters. i'm sad he's gone, his acting and presence was amazing and underrated in all the other sagas and he's just a great character.

least fav in each saga:

i like all of these songs btw. i don't dislike any song. i don't wanna got into detail cuz for all the answer is just i like the others more.

full speed ahead

polyphemous

storm

wouldn't you like

the underworld

different beast

winner : monster

second place : there are other ways

third place : ruthlessness

my overall least favourite song : polyphemous/different beast. again i like these songs, i just prefer others

[lyramundana]

Hellooo how are you I hope you're doing great

Since you loved my 9th member shit I'll let you have more of it ( I actually have a lot in mind about this topic so I'll go slowly hihihi)

What do you think about yandere minsung with sub! Fem! 9th member reader during tour and concerts where they see everyone screaming whenever she does something sexy and they want to show everyone else that she is theirs only.

----🦋 anon----

Hello, butterfly! I'm doing well enough, thank you❤ I have a weakness for yandere minsung, but if you add 9th member to it, it becomes even sweeter.

Do you see how in every concert, stage or program they're doing these two are always standing side by side or, at the very least, close enough to touch each other? Constantly having some sort of interaction, like eye contact? Yeah, that's basically it.

We've already stablished they go mad whenever she shows herself off for the crowds and become enraged when she's flown by comments about how gorgeous she is and people adoring her. That's supposed to be their job and she should only put on shows for them, but since they're idols, they can't exactly stop her from doing it.

When 9th member gets asked to do something sexy, maybe take off her jacket to show off her curves more or dance a seductive version of one of their songs, they're both turned on by her display and furious at realizing other people are seeing it. Hearing the mad screams of joy from the crowd, the loud petitions for her to do more, even the pick-up lines from the bravest fans, it all makes them have to physically restrain themselves to not drag her away from the spotlight in front of everybody and cause a scandal.

Instead, they decide to mark their territory by disguising it as "fanservice".

Remember this?

Mind you, they were on stage receiving an award I think, being watched by millions of people, tvs focusing on them. Do you see they fucks they gave? Me neither.

They're bold as fuck. If they want to show the world how much they want each other, they'll do it. No one can stop them. They can excuse anything with "fanservice" and the fans will believe it.

They spent the remaining show glued to her side. Han hugs her from behind all the time, squeezing her waist with a cute smile that comes off as playful for the fans, but in reality, he's squeezing so hard he leaves prints of his fingers there. He touches all over pretending to be "play-fighting", but if someone looks close enough, they'll notice the certain roughness of his movements. How tight he grabs her, how he always go for all the exposed skin she displayed earlier, subtitly leaving small bruises there. How everytime he hugs her, he has an arm locked on her waist and the other wrapped around her neck, almost like he's caging her to prevent her from moving. She chuckles awkardly, worried fans might notice the intimate nature of it, but he doesn't relent.

Minho isn't any better. He pulls her closer by the waist and pretends to whisper something in her ear, while he's actually pulling up the collar of her outfit slightly to suck the skin there. When she tries to shy away, turns out she has Han right behind her, grabbing her by the shoulders and displaying a cute grin so the fans thinks it's all part of their antics. None of them realize how they're slowly inching closer and closer until their bodies are practically shielding her. They even push other members away softly when they try to interact with 9th member too, barely concealing the growing agitation.

They simply don't let her catch a break for the duration of the show. They keep leaving bruises and marks on her skin unnoticed, playing it off as a result of their playful "fanservice". When she asks them at some point in hushes whispers what the hell they're doing, she receives two pair of glares that are carefully hidden from the cameras and promise an entire night of punishment. She lets all of it happen, a small part of her enjoying it, but also feeling uncapable of resisting them. She's utterly under their control and they know, they know how compliant and obedient their sweet doll is. It's the people who have a problem, gawking their eyes at something they're not even worth looking at and foolishly thinking themselves deserving of begging for more of it, pushing her to break the rules.

The members know better than to intervene at this point. Luckily they can draw some of the attention to themselves and downplay anything as harmless fanservice. Minho doesn't relent his hold on her waist, brushing her cheeks with his nose and whispering dark promises in her reddening ears. Han has his arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind instead, tracing lines across her nape with his teasing lips, maybe biting from time to time.

All in front of everybody. Pretty much like in the picture. That level of closeness.

And obviously, the moment the guys are backstage to change clothes, she's being dragged to a secluded room to have that sinful outfit with which she pulled that whorish behaviour ripped off and makes sure she's unable to even move by the end of it, darkening the small bruises they left earlier and finally unleashing all the pent up energy they have been repressing since stage. They don't stop until she's mute and shaking in their arms, covered in their essence.

tagging @sweetracha-replies and @2chopsticks2eyes they know

@moonlightndaydreams

[canmargesimpson]

Chapter 2:

Chapter 1

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☪ . :☆ﾟ. ───

April 30, 1996.

Eddie, who was at his studio, sat on his piano with some pens and papers, trying to figure out how the bridge of his new song should go. He spent hours, repeating over and over the melody but then stopping at the same part, since it felt like nothing could ever continue it. As if there was no follow up to the story he was writing, like if in the middle of the book the protagonist died and there was no more story at all. It frustrated him so much, he was scratching his head nervously, biting his nails and even smashing the piano tiles whenever he tried to even continue the song. Nothing seemed to work. So when his Motorola cell phone rang, he thanked god to be able to get away from the monster that has become his piano.

“Hello?”

“Eddie!” Steve’s voice called from the over side, in a quite excited way that grabbed the man's attention quickly

“Baby? Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” he asked

“Lunch break” 

“Lunch break? But it's like 10 in the morning?”

“Eddie, it's 2… have you been in the studio all day?” the shift in steve’s voice knew that if he said yes the answer would bring him trouble

“No?”

“Eddie! I’ve told you it's not healthy to spend an entire morning locked in a room with only a piano and a guitar! Go eat something, or even just go to the bathroom”

Eddie huffed knowing that Steve hated the fact Eddie spent an entire day writing and not even eating, but everytime he was there, it felt like time moved faster somehow.

“I know, I'm sorry, I'm gonna grab my jacket now and leave to go eat something alright? Now what are you calling me for?” eddie asked as he stood up from the piano stool and walked to the the little table besides the door and grab his keys

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Steve’s disappointed and warning tone changed to a giddy one which turned Eddie's heart around “So remember I told you I was gonna talk to my colleague, Sarah, whose cousin works at the Orphanage? Well, i got in contact with the director of the place, and told me we could go next Friday at 4”

“Wait really?” eddie stopped his tracks as he walked out of the studio department 

“Yes!” he exclaimed “there are about 23 kids, the age ranges are form 2-15 year old”

“I'm not adopting a two year old human, sorry” Eddie laughed nervously. He still won't be completely in love with the idea of a kid in their house, but at least he could hold a 10 minute conversation with a 6 year old. And that was progress

“I know” Steve sighed a laugh “so i told her that probably a kid from 6-12, and that we don’t really have anything in mind”

“Wait” Eddie thanked God that there was no one else in that elevator with him at this moment “you told her about… us? Like… the fact that we…”

“Are a same sex marriage? Yes'' and with that eddie sighed loudly “ she told me that she has had a lot of queer parents adopting, so it's definitely not a problem, we just need to make sure we are suitable for taking care of a minor” 

“And how-”

“It's an interview. And before you panic, no, it's not about knowledge about children” another loud sigh came from eddie “it's about it we are… responsible and economically okay to take care of a child. Then they are coming to our house to make sure the kid is gonna live in a safe and decent house. It's just regular procedure”

“Wow'' Eddie smiled, quite shocked that this might be finally happening. They might be finally adopting a kid “and how long to like… get the kid”

The other line went dead. Eddie couldn't even hear Steve’s breathing. Just by this reaction, he knew the answer was not gonna be pleasant.

“Steve?”

“Umm…. they said about…. 6 to…. 18 months?”

“18 Months!?” Eddie exclaimed loudly “Steve!”

“I know!!” he whines back

“I'm gonna be gone! Tour starts in a year and- what if i’m not there? What if the child comes into the home, and i'm not there and then when i come home they hate me? What if something happens to them or me, and I never get to meet them! Steve-”

“Eddie i know! I just… We’ve been waiting for such a long time…. There is hope that maybe it could be less. They say that if it works perfectly, it can be at least 6 months”

“For me to leave in six months? Not to forget, this tour is long, and then i have to do interviews and shit I- steve…” Eddie breathed loudly “I don’t want you to do this alone, because you and I both know it sucks not having a parent around, and I'm letting that kid go through this. I don't wanna be like you dad! I don’t want to leave for over a year, and then just come around to say happy birthday or merry christmas and then leave again! And with the new album-”

“Eddie you would never be like my father you hear me? Never.” Steve sternly said as he sat up from his desk chair to look at the window to where the kids were playing football “I just… maybe… you should just… not release the album maybe?” Steve knew he was on thin ice now.

“Not- Are you crazy?! I’ve been working my ass off with Gareth for almost 2 years now! We can’t just postpone! This is super important for me Steven, I can't just drop my entire work for a kid!”

And the line went dead. In both ends, the men were holding the phones to their ear with eyes closed looking at the floor trying to somehow make this better. To somehow change the entire universe so they could be happy and all could fit. But they can’t. So when Eddie heard the 3 beeps of the dead line, he knew he fucked up and real bad this time. 

He left for a Chinese restaurant and bought the usual. He walked back to his studio, and sat back again at the piano while he ate his chicken quietly. And then it hit him. The melody of the song suddenly crashed into him like a train and it all made sense. The story does continue, and this little rocky path made him stumble. But once he placed both hands on the keyboard the story seemed to write itself as he just played along with only one thing on his mind.

Steve.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☪ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Chapter 3

[strawhbrrries]

Hell on Heels, part two.

pairing: rhett abbott x tillerson!afab!reader

summary: you made the devil a deal; he made you pretty, he made you smart and rhett abbott she’s coming after you.

warnings: everyone calls reader ‘honey’, sweet rhett but also asshole rhett, the tillersons (they need their own warning tbh but i love a good forbidden romance), unprotected p in v, car sex, a wee bit of rhett begging, no use of y/n or description of reader, not proofread 

word count: 3.6k words

author’s note: eventually I want them to have sex in a place that isn’t rhett’s truck, i started writing the next part for this before this was even finished so!!! this isn’t nearly as good as the last part but it sets me up for a great third part. as always, enjoy!!!

read the first part here!

You slipped a coin in the jukebox that sat in the corner of the Pit Bar, flipping through the songs before landing on Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. A small smile replacing the previous frown you had as the music started over the speakers. Your frown was the result of Rhett Abbott, he’d apparently fucked you and forgotten to text you. The girls had brought you out, their treat, in a desperate attempt to get THE Honey Tillerson back to her normal self.

“Wait so he actually fucked you?” Ash whispered across the table as you sat back down, taking a sip of the mixed drink in her hand as she awaited for your answer with bated breath.

“Mhm, nice and good. It was all hot and sweaty too, after the rodeo y'know?” You giggled, feeling like a schoolgirl with the way they were treating this. 

To be far, this was a long time coming. You’d been after this man for as long as any of them could remember, unconditionally loyal to a man who wasn’t that way for you. To them, hearing that he’d finally kissed you and then fucked you is truck was the news of the century. Especially in a small town like Wabang. 

“He finally grew some balls I guess, shoulda done that the second you told him to his face you were gonna marry him. Freshman year, remember?” Taylor teased, poking you in your side as you covered your face in embarrassment.

“I am never living that down, you guys bring it up like everytime we talk about him.” You groaned, burying your face further into your hands and distorting your words slightly. “Besides, he totally choked it. He hasn’t texted me since that night. And guess what Luke told me this morning?  Rhett and Maria were caught going to the motel, the same fuckin’ night he fucked me.”

“That whore, what the fuck!” Ash whisper-yelled, dropping her jaw open at the bombshell of news. “I’m gonna need another fuckin’ drink if you keep droppin’ bombs like this, Honey.”

“Yeah, I’ve made some sort of peace with it. I’ve been second to her our entire lives, shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up about it.” You shrugged, taking a sip of the drink in front of you and making direct eye contact with none other than the man you were speaking about.

The news had initially hurt when Luke told you. Then you thought about it and realized that you simply were never going to be better than Maria, she wasn’t at fault here and being upset with the other woman did you no good. Your knuckles had gone white when the words left your brother’s mouth, how could you have reacted any other way? You’d finally slept with the one man you’d been yearning for your entire life only to find out he then slept with someone else directly after. Didn’t she smell you on him? See the red lipstick peppered on his skin or the collar of his shirt? 

“Tay, come sing with me?” You asked, batting your eyelashes at the girl sitting next to you, even pouting your lips for extra measure.

“Cowboy Casanova?” She asked, smiling happily when you shook your head yes.

It was the perfect ‘revenge’ song, Carrie knew how to write her songs and she had rent to pay with this one. The bar had finally started to pick up and it was simply the perfect moment to, subtly, call Rhett out on his actions. Sure he had no ties to you but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give you basic respect and tell you he didn’t want you the way you wanted him. You made sure the cowboy hat, a new one you had bought earlier today, was snug on your head and your makeup was still in place before dragging Taylor up to the stage with you. The drinks had started to feel nice and warm, tipsy was the only time you’d openly sing like this. Especially such a directed song like this one. 

“You better take it from me, that boy is a disease.” You sang loudly, making direct eye contact with Rhett who had his arm around Maria next to him. 

His face screwed up at the lyrics once he learned you were singing about him, and to him. Maria whispered something in his ear, making a face you couldn’t quite decipher when he shook his head yes and whispered something back to her. 

“He’s a curse, he’s like a drug. You get addicted to his love.” The two of your voices harmonizing beautifully, prancing around the stage and captivating the audience in a way that seemed to anger Rhett. But, unlike him, the audience simply thought you were performing to have a good time and not to get back at him.

The group of girls you came with had started chanting your names, whooping and hollering from the table they sat at, being your biggest fans without getting swallowed in the sea of bar patrons.

“I see that look on your face, you ain’t hearing what I say.” Is the lyric that caused Rhett and Maria to get up and storm out of the bar, not another soul in the place giving a single shit that his masculinity had been hurt by a Carrie Underwood song.

You finished the song off with a bang, bowing with Taylor as the crowd gave you a standing ovation. It was the most thrilling thing you’d done all week and you loved it, it felt nice to let him know he wasn’t shit. He called you Hell on Heels and you’d be damned if you didn’t live up to it, you were coming for him. The girls gave the two of you another round of hollers as you approached the table.

“Did you see them storm out?” Ash giggled, tilting her head towards the table they had previously been sitting at.

“Don’t be a two timin’ bitch next time.” You smiled, taking the last sip of your drink and basking in the glory of what just happened You’d finally actually stood up for yourself and damn if it didn’t feel fucking good.

You’d spent your entire night at the bar, chatting with the girls about anything and everything between. Mostly gossiping about the look Maria had on her face when she realized you were singing about Rhett. The rest of your family had been asleep when you got home, it made it way easier to go to your room without a million questions about who, why, when and where. You hung up your hat on the rack right inside the door of your room, taking in a deep breath before exhaling shakily. Yeah, it felt good to tell Rhett off that way but you still had some love for him and that would never change. The whole situation was a little heartbreaking for you. You were hopeful that dreamland would fix all your problems, take you to a world where he only wanted you.

“Rhett Abbott is at the door sayin’ he needs to speak with you.” Billy’s tone laced with confusion, anytime one of the boys showed up at the door it was never for you, looking over at where you sat on the couch.

You got up from the couch and walked to the door, giving Billy a look that said ‘please give me a second’ and he walked off. Turning your attention to the man on your porch you wanted to burst into laughter, he was pissed and you knew why. 

“We need to talk.” Rhett stated, arms crossed as he waited for you to step outside. 

“About what, because if you wanna talk about what happened at the Pit Bar I distinctly remember you leavin’ with someone who wasn’t me.” You closed the door behind you and leaned up against it, waiting for him to get to whatever the hell his point was. 

“I’m not your boyfriend, Honey-“

“Exactly, so why are you here?” You cut him off, raising your eyebrows at him, ready to tell him if that’s what he came to say it could’ve been a text. 

“What?” This time he was confused, not expecting you to have agreed with him right off the bat. 

“You’re not my boyfriend, so why are you here? You’re angry that I did what I wanted at the bar yet you get to run off with Maria the second you don’t want to deal with me. You’re not my boyfriend but you wanna fuck me in your truck after you win finals, don’t forget you took Maria to a motel after bein’ with me.” Your words were calm, too angry to give him the satisfaction of seeing your emotions. His eyes got big at the mention of the motel, he was trying to figure out how the hell you knew. “Luke told me, don’t sneak around in a small town and think it won’t get around.”

“Don’t you dare bring her into this. This is between the two of us.” He hissed, pointing a finger in your face.

“Have you no respect for me, Rhett Abbott? You don’t get to sneak around with the both of us. Have you no respect for Maria? Jesus fuckin’ Christ.” You rolled your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose, choosing to ignore the finger in your face to save whatever dignity he hadn’t taken. 

“Honey-“

“No, Rhett. It’s my turn to speak. I’ve been second fuckin’ best to Maria my entire life, every single turn she was unintentionally one upping me. I don’t deserve this shit, Rhett. If I wanted a man who couldn’t commit I’d take notes from some other girl in town, that night in your fuckin’ truck gave me a single sliver of hope that I’d finally come out on top. That you’d finally decide I was the one. So much for bein’ a good luck charm. Good bye, Rhett Abbott.” 

You turned around and slammed the door in his face, locking it behind you before he got any ideas to come in after you. Unbeknownst to you, he’d come to apologize. He’d realized the way he acted on both the nights you mentioned was unacceptable, he was going to man up and say he was sorry but you went off on him. Told him to shut up and didn’t give him a chance to speak. He placed his fist on your front door and laid his head down next to it before he realized you really weren’t coming back outside and he walked away.

“What’d he want?” Billy asked, he’d taken your spot on the couch and was now eating the breakfast you had previously prepared for yourself. 

“To talk.” Is all you responded with, as much as you wanted to confide in him all your words would make it back to Luke. That was something you absolutely didn’t want to deal with, so you opted for pretending everything was fine and dandy instead. 

You found yourself hesitating when you went to block Rhett’s number, for some reason you just couldn’t fucking do it. All the what ifs flooded your mind and no matter how angry you were with him, you’d always be one call away. Ready to make everything feel okay, even for just five minutes before he found solace inside another girl. You threw your phone on your bed with a frustrated groan, trying to think of all the ways he went from praising you in his truck to being the biggest asshole you knew. That was hard to beat when you had one for a brother. 

You decided not to dwell on it and get ready for the day ahead of you, you had nothing planned but if you knew one thing it was that you didn’t live a boring life. By the time you’d finished getting ready and had eaten something, making sure Billy didn’t get to it when you turned your back, your phone had been blown up by your girlfriends asking if you wanted to go to the bar tonight. Of course, you said yes. You double checked your makeup and made your way down to the bar that took Rhett Abbott away from you, he did it himself but the bar solidified it. 

“Hey sweet girl, Honey.” Ash greeted you, kissing your cheek as you sat in the same booth you always did when your group attended the bar.

“Always so welcoming.” You smiled, scoping out the place as you sat. Your eyes landed on none other than Rhett Abbott, and god did he look handsome. His signature cowboy hat wasn’t what got you, it was the small tufts of hair sticking out of the side untamed. “I didn’t know moving on from him was going to be so damn hard.”

“I mean, you did fuck him like three days ago. Let yourself live.” Taylor pointed out, rubbing your back in support. 

“True but he just looks so…fuckable.” You pouted, watching him tilt his head back in laughter.

“So are you and look where it got him.” Ash took a sip of her beer, eyeing you up playfully. “Fuck him one more time to get him out of your system.”

You contemplated what she said for the rest of the night, your attention remaining on Rhett when it could be. You noticed Maria was here too, but not once had she interacted with Rhett or made any indication that she wanted to speak to him. He hadn’t paid her any attention either. His attention was on you everytime you weren’t looking at him, he wasn’t a man to grovel but you were making him reconsider it all. Your anger at him this morning turned him on a bit, not that he’d admit that to anyone other than himself. After failing to apologize he’d given Maria a call, called it off with her completely. He told her the plain old truth, that sneaking around with her wasn’t worth it when he could be with you and feel on top of the goddamn world. He felt no shame or guilt after he did, almost contemplated telling you what he’d done just to prove a point to no one but himself. 

“Can we talk?” Rhett asked, walking up to your table of girls and staring directly at you. Admiring the low cut of your shirt and the way your red lipstick had slightly smudged from the straw in your drink.

“Uhm, sure. I’ll be back ladies.” You smiled at the girls before giving them a confused look and scooting out of the booth, following Rhett out of the bar and to the side of his truck.

“I came to your house to apologize this mornin’, Honey.” He spoke softly, no longer the stoic man he was just a minute ago. You took in a deep breath as you contemplated his words. “I called it off with Maria, all the way off. Honey, I need it to be you.”

“Rhett-”

“Look, let me talk this time.” He mocked your words from this morning, a small smile playing on his lips as he spoke.

“Okay, hit me.” You spoke softly, unsure of where this conversation was going and if you were going to lose your pants by the end of it. You counted on the fact that you’d end up folded in half in his backseat.

“I came to apologize for how idiotic I was, for one sneaking behind your back. I’ve been stringin’ you along for awhile and I shouldn’t, you’ve been nothin’ but faithful and supportive of everythin’ I’ve done. Secondly, for storming out of the bar and just bein’ an ass in general. You blew up at me before I could say anythin’ else, which is valid because the first thing out of my mouth was ‘i’m not your boyfriend’ and i’ve regretted it all fuckin’ day. Honey, I want- fuck I need to be your boyfriend. If you aren’t ready I’ll wait for you-”

You cut off his words by smashing your lips to his, you’d think over his words later and truly process them when you weren’t so incredibly turned on by an idiot saying he needed to be your boyfriend. This was probably as affectionate as Rhett was able to be and you’d happily take it. Your hands intertwined themselves with the hair on the back of his head, pushing your body completely against his. His hands found themselves at your waist, holding you still as he bit your bottom lip and explored the inside of your mouth with his tongue when you gasped.

“Rhett.” You whined against his lips, pulling at his hair softly in a plea to get him to do what you wanted but you weren’t even sure what that was.

“I know, sweet girl. I know.” He whispered, disconnecting your lips and pulling back to admire the fading love bite he gave you last time. “C’mon, in the truck.”

He helped you get in the backseat, positioning you on his lap once again. Your lips found his again while your hips ground down against his, both of you groaning at the action. His hands tangled themselves in your hair, tugging on it slightly to get you to lean your head back and give him access to your neck. He placed open mouth kisses from the top of your jaw to the end of your neck, nipping occasionally and soothing it with his tongue. Rhett was rock hard the second he saw you walk into the bar hours ago, but you grinding down on him had him harder than he was the first time he had you in his truck.

You fumbled with the buckle of his belt, your fingers slipping and not quite able to get it in your frenzy to remove his pants. A small cry escaped before Rhett shushed you, placed a kiss to the top of your head, and unbuckled his belt. He lifted you up just enough for him to get his jeans pushed down around his ankles, relishing in the fact that his dick wasn’t heavily compressed in his jeans. 

Immediately you went to sink to your knees, went to pull his boxers down and put him in your mouth like you’d been waiting to do since the first time you slept together. 

“No.” He rasped, holding you where you were.

“What?”

“Need to be inside of you, right now. Don’t have time for that.” He groaned, yanking your jeans and underwear down in one yank. 

You shook your head yes and kicked your jeans off, straddling his waist and unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing just enough to see the tattoo on his chest. You traced it, admiring it. 

“Honey, please.” Rhett begged, his chest flushing red.

The fact that you had him underneath you begging would forever be one of the best things you ever accomplished, you absolutely would not tell the girls about it though. It would be your little secret. You would probably think of it every night you had your hands down your pants, cumming to the thought of him. 

You stroked him a few times before lining him up with your entrance and slowly sliding down. 

“Fuck, Honey. I love you.” He groaned, laying his head against the back of the seat. 

You froze, did he just? What the fuck. You loved him too but this was supposed to be a one and done for you, but you were now realizing he thought you were- oh no. Should you say it back? Pretend like you never heard him? Make a noise to acknowledge him? 

Rhett on the other hand was now beating the shit out of himself internally because how could he say that shit out loud. All he was doing was making the situation worse between the two of you by putting you in this weird limbo. 

The both of you elected to ignore the fact that he said it, instead focusing on how you were bouncing on top of him. One of your hands braced against the back window and the other softly planted on his chest, using him as leverage. 

“Lean back, I wanna ride the bull.” You whispered into his ear, getting a small laugh in response. Both of you exchanging small smiles.

He eventually got tired of the pace you had set, wrapped both his arms around your lower back and set his own pace. Thrusting up into you like it was his full time job. Holding you close to him, like he sensed that you were debating not seeing him again. He’d made up his mind about you and you made up yours, but they contradicted. He didn’t want to let you go and yet, you knew you had to. Maybe. Rhett would always be your kryptonite, deep down you knew you’d always find yourself back with him but if you never gave yourself a chance to find ‘better’ would you ever regret it?

He painted your insides white with a low groan and a mumble of Fuck, Honey. You weren’t far behind him, your walls clenching around him as your orgasm washed over you. He didn’t let you go or pull out, he just stayed there. Enjoying some sense of normalcy before you both left his truck and things could change, maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. He wasn’t taking his chances, not when it came to his sweet ol’ Honey.

[princessofmarvel]

Begin Again

summary | You and your neighbor/ best friend renfield both share rough pasts, yet you fall for each other despite you being scared to fall for someone again. requested!

pairing | robert montague renfield x fem!reader 

wc | 1.6k 

warnings! | talks of an emotionally and mentally abusive ex! not really proof read yet!

genre | angst and fluff! (the ending is fluffy I promise, lol) 

author’s note! | i loved this request! please keep them coming! italics mean flashbacks! this is a part of my “swift series” (where I write fics based on Taylor Swift songs)  so if you have any requests for the swift series (or for just something that you would like for me to write) please send them in! I would be happy to write about them! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind!

  She took a quick look at herself in the mirror making sure that she looked alright before walking out the door, locking it behind her, and putting her earbuds in to walk down to the cafe that she met her neighbor at every morning for a cup of coffee. As she walked in she noticed Renfield was already sitting there with his tea and what she assumed to be her order sitting across from him. When he noticed her walking over he stood with a smile on his face. 

“Morning (Y/n)! I ordered your regular, I hope that's alright” He said, sounding a little bit nervous. 

“Robert, you don’t have to stand everytime we meet.” She said, taking her seat. “And, yes that's perfect, let me repay you real quick.” She said going to get the money out of her purse before Renfield stopped her. 

“No, no, it’s on me, don’t worry about it.” He said taking his seat across from her, that’s Robert Montague Renfield for you though, forever the gentleman. 

“Oh fuck!” she said while trying to pick up the box from the trunk of her car, not noticing the man walking towards her.

“Excuse me miss, would you like some help with that?” The man said as he was getting closer to her, but far enough away to not make her uncomfortable. 

“That would be great, if you don’t mind sir.” She said, sighing in relief. 

He felt the breath catch in his throat when she turned towards him. Barely being able to get his next words out without stuttering. “I’m Robert Montague Renfield” He said, putting his hand out to her. 

“(Y/n) (L/n)” She said, shaking his hand. He started going towards the box that she seemed to have trouble with once they pulled apart. “Oh be careful that one is quite” But he lifted it up with ease as she got the last word out “Heavy” 

“Which apartment?” 

Renfield and her  very quickly became each other's best friends. Spending basically every hour they were home at the others place. Whether that would be a movie night, him coming over to listen to the new album she was excited about. Eating together, or if they just simply wanted the other's company. 

“I did?” She said, sounding slightly shocked. She very rarely slept peacefully. Having nightmares about how her life used to be.

“I wanted to apologize for falling asleep on you last night.” She said, sounding slightly embarrassed. “You could have woken me up, you didn’t have to carry me to bed.”

“You looked so peaceful that it would have been a crime to wake you up.” 

Renfield practically broke down the door to her apartment when he heard her scream in the middle of the night. If he hadn’t remembered where she hid the extra key, he would have. Her scream was not so loud that it would wake others up, but loud enough that he could hear it from his apartment next door. “(Y/n), are you alright?!” He said while rushing into her bedroom, only to find her sitting up in her bed with her face in her hands, before she jumped noticing that he was there. “I- Robert what are you doing here?” She asked, while wiping away her tears that had slipped while she was asleep. 

“I heard you scream, I thought you were hurt.” He said placing his tin of bugs that he kept on to her dresser. What he really thought was that Dracula had somehow returned and found out about her, and decided to take his revenge. “Are you alright?” 

“Oh, I'm sorry Robert, I have bad dreams sometimes, I didn’t mean to wake you.” She said while keeping her eyes from meeting his. 

“Nonsense, I could barely sleep anyways.” He said with a chuckle. “Would you like to talk about it?” 

“No.” She said without hesitation, she wasn’t ready to tell him about her past yet. 

He nodded, thinking that maybe she just wanted to go back to sleep. While he was heading for the door he stopped in his tracks when he heard her voice. “Um, Robert?”

‘Yes?” he said, turning towards her. 

“Can you stay with me?” She said quietly, if it hadn’t been for his super hearing, he may not have been able to hear her at all.”

“Of course.” He said, heading for her couch.

“You can sleep over here if you want.” she said while moving to the other side of the bed instead of the middle. 

“Are you sure, I want you to be comfortable.” He asked, while making his way towards her. 

“Yes, I’m sure, I would like the company, your company.” She said, finally meeting his eyes. 

He smiled and layed down next to her. He would never tell her, in fear of embarrassing her. But, she clinged to him the whole night, she even whined when he tried to get up in the morning.  

“You did, I stayed for a little while afterwards to make sure that you would stay that way.

She smiled and looked down at her cup. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to thank me (Y/n), I don’t mind.” He said. He seemed nervous, like he wanted to get something over with. “I need to ask you something.”

“Yes?” She said looking up from her cup

“Would you like to go out with me?” He said, nervously, “Like, on a date, romantically.” 

She stopped, she seemed taken aback. He worried that he had messed up, so he quickly added. “I understand if you’re not interested, It was just a thought-” She cut him off from rambling. 

“It’s not that I'm not interested, I just don’t think I'm a datatable person Robert.” Now that stunned him. 

“What? Of course you are, you’re hilarious, you’re strong, you have a heart of gold, you’re brave, and to add to all of that, you’re stunning.” He said, not being able to believe that she thought that of herself. 

“You really think I'm funny?” She asked, earning a nod from him. “He never did.” She mumbled to herself. 

It finally hit Renfield, the reason for her being closed off, why she screams in  the night, Why she never brings up her past, why she never shares her problems with him. “(Y/n), did someone hurt you?” 

She wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I was in a bad relationship before I met you Robert, It was never physical, but he would just say the meanest things, and start the most random fights with me, and then after he would shower me in affection, it was awful. I never realized it was abuse until it got worse, I found myself scared to mess up around him in fear of him blowing up at me all of the time.” She found herself just finally letting it all pour out to Renfield. “I’m scared to try again, because what if the love and affection is leading up to something awful, just preparing me for the blow.” 

“(Y/n), listen to me, you didn’t deserve that, you deserved none of it, he was, what do that call it? Love bombing, that’s it. Okay? I can promise you that not every relationship that you have will be like that, whether your next relationship is with me or not, I need you to know that.” He felt his heart break when she told him that. He went through something so similar, something that he would never wish on anyone. He had told her a few months ago what he had gone through, and she helped him get through it. He hated that he didn’t know, that he couldn’t see that she was facing the same issues. 

“I know, I know.” She let out a sigh, “I’m sorry for dropping all of that on you.” 

“Don’t be, I wish you would have sooner, never feel like you have to hide your worries from me, okay? I am your best friend after all.” He said, trying to lighten up the mood. 

“We could be more though, if you still want to go on that date, that is.” She said, looking up at him. 

The date went beautifully. He picked her, took her to this beautiful new restaurant, he even brought her favorite flowers, Neither one of them wanted it to end. 

“I would love to, but only if you’re ready.” He said, reaching over grabbing her hand from across the table. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes right now, if you’re not ready.”

“It’s been 8 months, I’m ready.” She said, smiling at him. “So when's this date?”

“I had a great time tonight.” Renfield said as she unlocked her door. 

“I did too. I like dating someone who I already trust, Makes it so much easier.” She laughed as she got her door open. “I guess this is goodnight.” 

“May I kiss you goodnight?” He asked, but as soon as he said it, she placed her hands on his face and pulled him in for a kiss. He placed his hands on her back and pulled her closer. He pressed his forehead to hers as she pulled away. “I should have done that ages ago.” He breathed out, making her laugh lightly. “I agree.” 

He watched her walk into her apartment and close the door. About an hour later, after he had his pajamas on, he heard a knock on the door, he answered to reveal her in her pajamas holding her pillow and a movie. “I can’t sleep, sleepover?” She said as he pulled her inside of his apartment, his arm around her waist. “That is a brilliant idea, love.”

[yubellia]

Please stop protecting Stolas

Wish me luck everybody. This might be a bit risky. Remember how I talked about full moon in my last post? Since than, I saw so many people protecting Stolas. Coming up with all kinds of excuses for him and his behavior…. It’s just sick. So I thought I talk about it again.

Prepare yourself because I also am writing something for Octavia.

Also, there are many things I don‘t write about in detail. Others did a way better job, showing it with pictures. I just want to talk about some stuff.

——————————————————-

So. Before we begin I would like to say AGAIN, that Blitz made mistakes too. Yes he broke into the palace, yes he played with Stolas‘s feelings to get the book. And yes that’s messed up. I know. But I still believe he was in the right to call Stolas out for all his nonsense.

For starters, Stolas was the one who started the deal. After blitz realized that he could use that, he followed. On multiple occasions we can see how Stolas pushes the interactions in one direction. The bedroom. This will be interesting when I talk about Octavia too. It was Stolas who said stuff like „you are so cute when you are serious.“ like really? He didn’t take blitz serious. Not one bit. Everytime blitz seemed annoyed or voiced his opinion, Stolas dismissed it as a game. Only after the events at Ozzie’s, when blitz drove him home and told him „I can‘t do it. I don‘t want to.“ did he realize that this might not be a game. Blitz called him out. That this was a deal, that blitz was his plaything (Stolas even called him his ‚impish plaything in the past I think? Like wtf? Not to mention ‚itty bitty Blitzy‘ I would be embarrassed too.) and all that. After THAT did Stolas really start to think and realize that blitz really isn’t happy.

And Blitz was right to call him out too. Remember how Ozzie stood up to Mammon to protect Fizz? Blitz was there. He saw all that! He knows that it could be different and he was holding back tears before he drove away. He has feelings for Stolas. Everyone and their grandma knows that.

But what did Stolas do? When he was called out and people saw him with an imp? He hides in shame. I know Blitz was using him to get into the club. Before you point that out. I know. But imagine you are with someone, they get called out for it and instead of backing you up, or saying SOMETHING to help, they hide. Try to not be seen with you. Blitz was right to call him out. We know that he has feelings for Stolas. Now imagine how painful that one was.

Stolas can claim to love him all he wants. It doesn’t mean anything if he can‘t act like it. How is blitz supposed to know what Stolas feels? Do you forget that he didn’t hear those depressing songs we get? I already talked about their interaction in full moon. If you wanna know, please read that one.

Now, let’s talk about some of the ‚excuses‘ I’ve seen for Stolas.

„He didn’t have his pills.“ yes, I too wrote about that. I said something like ‚it’s not a good start for something important like this.‘. But I forgot something. First, Stolas is a GROWN MAN! I know! I know! He acts like a teenage girl with a crush sometimes. It’s easy to forget that. But it’s true. And as an adult, he should be able to take care of himself. And keep an eye on his pills

Second, if you take pills and you take them on a schedule. And not missing out. It will actually take at least a day or two (or more depending on what it is you take), until your body realizes what’s going on and falls back into the old ways. You don‘t get withdrawal symptoms that fast. Maybe with painkillers but not with this. He could have panicked without his pills but he should have been fine. So this one is not an excuse really.

Second, people actually blame Blitz, the Victim in my opinion, by saying „he stole the book he could just go and find a new job.“

The first part, ok. I already said that he started this in a way. But the rest? I am sorry but…. Did you watch the show?

Striker outright confirmed that it’s pretty impressive for an imp to start a business in the first place! Imps are at the bottom! We don‘t really see how hard it really is to find a job for them but it seems like they don‘t really have the ways to work themselves up. Unless you are like Fizzarolli. Talented and lucky to have Ozzie. But those are exceptions.

Second, „find a new job“. Guys…. Blitz is not an employee, blitz is the BOSS! It is his business. He can‘t just quit. He has a responsibility! For his employees who need jobs! Bills to pay ! Not to mention it would be nice if he and his daughter would not end up penniless on the streets and starving!

Seriously, people are so desperate to defend Stolas, the one with ALL THE POWER in this relationship, that they don‘t think before they write! I know it’s easy to feel bad for Stolas! I too have seen images of little baby Stolas that plays with blitz and can‘t realize what’s going on. Well congrats! You fell for it too! This is called victim blaming. Blitz had no choice. Not if he wants to do business that is. But because he is loud and aggressive and a jerk sometimes, we feel bad for poor, poor Stolas. A few depressing songs and boom!

I know that I said both messed up. And it’s true. But Stolas messed up more. At least focusing on this relationship. Like I said, I also write something about Octavia and Stolas too. That topic hits pretty close to home for me. So if you wanna know more reasons why Stolas messed up, wait and see.

——————————————————-

Sorry. Lost my composure for a moment. It’s just so annoying. I know that some people look at fizz and Ozzie and hope that someday we get something close to that with these two guys. But really? They are very different from Ozzie and fizzy. That won‘t happen. Not too soon at least. And not without Stolas really working on himself. (BOTH working on themselves. Blitz needs to learn to trust and open up for real. To not think too low of himself and let others in.) Stolas saying that he understands that he did something wrong doesn’t mean anything if he doesn’t work on it.

(I already wrote about how he messed up his love confession. I am not blaming Blitz for not taking him serious in that. And remember, blitz had the crystal. He didn’t have to run after Stolas but he did. Give him credit where it’s due. Ok?)

Like Rosie said: „words are cheap. Actions, they speak the truth.“

So? What did his actions tell us so far? With blitz and Octavia? Doesn’t look too good now huh?

——————————————————

So…… I hope i didn’t upset too many people. Stolas fans, I am sorry. Something makes me want to like this fluffy bird too but…. I can‘t help it. He was in the wrong.

This was more jumbled then i wanted it to be but i hope you understand.

Remember, English isn’t my first language and if you wanna see more, wait for it.

Goodbye.

[crying-fantasies]

Killing Me Softly With His Song P2

Masterlist

Part 1 | part 2: Steps | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

"It's a work in progress..."

...You will say everytime someone asks how you can be near him, how can you even talk to him or be near without killing you with a single movement of his body or a missile of his arsenal (he wouldn't waste such good projectile on a human you would say but you stop from do so), how he let's you be near but not enough to touch him directly, most of the time there is a glimpse of fear in their whole demeanor when the question pops up again.

"How can you? That thing is a decepticon"

"He is, indeed, one, but he goes on his own pace", you correct them, trying to be as calm as possible but without the patience to explain your friend's political and personal beliefs, there is enough in you to at least make them remember that Soundwave is s sentient as them, if not more in the way he just likes to be around silence or the sound of nature.

You could even say sensitive, always sensing something is wrong with his environment the second it happens or when your mind is full of negativeness, being gentle enough to at least look at you before poking your side with one digit, because he cares, shout it to their face, 'Wave doesn't care for them and their opinion but you take it personal when they keep on referring to him like that, but no one will believe you when the morning news always use a video of him just looking impassible at a man begging for his life before being exterminated, it's bad, you know, Soundwave knows and his cassettes only look bored when they use the video for the umpteenth time in one day to promote the anti cybertronian propaganda of a new politic with many other Decepticons as if humans were different or better.

It's understandable, really, they are worried for you, for your well being, you can still remember the way you family looked when a military vehicle left you in front of your house after two days of absence, that was after you first found him and his whole group and while the experience was stressing enough to make you puke at the moment it didn't stop you from searching for that same thrill, it doesn't work at first, obviously, you have asked the people that had any contact with transformers in general before and they just go: "That's the shady one, his voice still gives me the creeps when I remember it"

You know his name is Soundwave, because the news show other Decepticons calling him like that, you know he doesn't talk much and that he hardly express any emotion, like a super spy, when you finally meet him you tell him so and he doesn't say anything, doesn't even move in reality, his cassettes, the ones that look alike, laughed hard while saying you better be careful.

Careful with what? It's still a mystery for you when he just passed by your side, his visor on you, not sure if he is looking at you to begin with, almost ignoring your presence.

It's a work in progress, you keep saying when someone asks again why you are going to him, what do you get from it, now you are at Soundwave's pedes, he is looming above you, also waiting for your answer with hardly covered interest, there is a little movement of his helm that has your friend running away, it doesn't matter, really, not when Soundwave is looking at you from the little space down his visor, red optics concentrated in your form, glowing a little more than usual, you smile and maybe that's too much because he looks to the other side as it was nothing to begin with when he starts to walk away in another direction.

Gentle and slow steps, that's how you get where you are, waiting less than a few minutes to have him stop and look at you over his shoulder armor, he lowers his whole frame to put his servo out for you to get up with him, you can hear Laserbeak shout from Soundwave's chest deck to clean your shoes before even think of putting such dirty things on Soundwave, you do as told while he waits for you with the same patience you give, granting you all the time to get comfortably on your place.

Slow and short steps, enough to have him finally say your name in that flat, supposed emotionless voice of his when he recognizes you from afar, slow steps, when he gets to look out for you when things seem to be too loud, too much, and you let him enter your thoughts, think of silence, think with nothing in mind, to be calm even if it gets to the point of hurting you, not worse than a migraine but is worth it when he can have a moment of silence and his EM field is less stressed, gentle steps, in the way he doesn't even move or try to get away when your hand makes contact with his armor, feeling how warm it really is and how the pulse of his spark is more noticeable with how near you are to his chest, he could have stopped you, but he is only looking at you in silence before looking the other way, little steps, that lead you to see him without his mouthpiece, it's the middle of the night and you don't know how to respond to him, he isn't moving, only his optics glow in the night behind his visor, funny thing how you once believed he didn't have optics to begin with, or even a mouth, he is waiting, expecting something from your part, you only say how handsome he is and that's enough to hear his cooling fans activating in the middle of the night, gentle servo taking your hand while he plays your voice and words back at you, the light of his optics making your eyes ache and his apparent soft lips with such a contrast while his derma moves along with your own words.

"You're pretty handsome"

It's slow but also fast, you aren't sure when this escalated when you feel warm inside, how warm everything feels, happiness that blooms and pools on your lower belly while giving his digits a delicate caresses, you aren't sure if what you are doing is correct when he let's you put your whole body on the side of his, there is almost no line to think again when you go from exploring touches to gathering your things in a backpack, the gossip goes on quickly and half the neighborhood is looking from their supposed secure houses to the military reconnaissance vehicle that is still proudly showing a decepticon badge, waiting for you outside of your home while your family assures how you can return any time you want after their attempts to stop you, to put some sense on what you are about to do, fail miserably, some of them cry as they will never see you again, and maybe that's true, maybe you'll become a spooky story for the kids around when they get older, never get in contact with a transformer, because you'll never come back.

You only hear the cries of some when the door is finally closed, tinted glass only letting you see outside, no one can see inside, someone has called the police and Soundwave's is fast to get out of there, being polite enough to let you say goodbye to your kin before they objected to his mere presence around you, he'll help you to communicate with them later, he assures you the things some of them said are product of the sadness, the idea of not seeing you as often as before.

"Their anger will subside, you must not let their words get the best of your memories together"

"You don't have to explain what they said, Wave, if they want to apologize so be it" you place a hand over the radio, smiling above your own tears, "if not, I'm fine with it anyway"

It's a slow and difficult pace, one you keep on, it's hard to be isolated from basic necessities out in the wild, Soundwave isn't as wanted as before after he almost gave his spark to save the world, but there are dangerous people that have all the rights to be angry at him, he told you so, and with this kind of job he got he is always in movement, one place after the other, it takes time but you get on it without much care, it's stressful, of course, but is worthy when he gets back home, whatever little camp you are now, he keeps a hard exterior around his human colleagues even when they are happy around him, maybe a little freaked out, but you smile reassuring them and saying thank you for getting your boyfriend back home in one piece, the cassettes scoff or laugh, some say it's the other way around, Soundwave doesn't say a thing before getting inside and waiting for you to reach him.

After so many years, he prefers the affection to be behind secure and thicker walls, not because he is embarrassed but for the fact your head now has a price.

"We can think about that another time" he knows that moment for you two to talk about will never come, you'll evade it, change the subject at every chance he gets to even think about it, "let's just think about the present, right here, right now, Wave" and while you kiss his now unprotected intake with tender affection he let's you lead on this human mating ritual he has already taken on his life like it's normal, he isn't going to talk to you about how he is never going to let any danger be near you or exterminating it before it can even appear either, and also waiting, calculating, for the moment you are ready to go for the next step with him as his spark chamber tries to open while he fights the impulses back, he hopes it comes soon.