#everything is fucking miserable
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my life doesn't even feel real anymore.... i feel so dissociated from everything that it is so genuinely upsetting. i keep getting lost in fantasies and then in moments of clarity realize how much my life fucking sucks and also how little I care about it at all. why live in your own life when you can just dissociate from everything so hard that none of it feels real. jk it fucking sucks i just wish i could experience any genuine emotions besides the occasional sadness about the state of my life right now.
#i want friends. i want a boyfriend. i want a family.#i just want a life surrounded by people who haven't caused me a shit ton of trauma but in the end theyre the only people i can turn back to#and that doesnt mean im not grateful for everything my parents have done for me#and the fact that i live a really cushy life because of them#but jesus christ having to fucking hide so much about myself around them. my plurality and you know#the fucking trauma and abuse they have done to me and how badly that has affected me#is taking such a huge toll on me#and the thing is that making connections is so fucking hard???#and i have top surgery coming up in october so i cant get a job or go to school yet#everything is fucking miserable#i am getting so depressed. dear god#vent#sighs.#sorry for dumping this here i just needed to get it out
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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Hayakawa
#my art#csm#chainsaw man#woke up so fucking miserable i miss him so much#aki is dead and everything is worse now
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Reaction images aside, how are you holding up?
Aww, thanks for asking. :P
To be honest, I'm probably doing better than most. I'm a healthy cishet white man who lives in the UK, so I don't have nearly as much to worry about as I know a lot of people do. (Also hey, I'm enjoying the new Dragon Age game, so that's been nice.) But I also know what kind of ramifications this election is bound to have, both inside the US and beyond.
(I mean, the world's biggest democracy is getting overtly more hostile and authoriarian in real time (y'know. again), and I know on this side of the pond we've got some real brain donors who'd love to see something similar happen here. I'm worried about what Trump could do once he's back in charge, and I'm worried about what might happen to my own country, with it's 'special relationship' to the US, as a result. And I'm not alone in that.
All this on a fuckin' Wednesday...)
Anyway, I had a longer thing written out here about the concept of orthopraxis (just while I was trying to get my thoughts in order, lmao) but the core of what I want to say is this:
I think we're about to see an uptick in people being shitty
I'm going to counter that by doing un-shitty things
What do I mean by un-shitty things? Well, I've been meaning to participate in Amnesty International's 'Write For Rights' campaign for months - I just fired off my first email today. I've already donated to causes supporting Gaza in the past, but now I'm also planning to write to my local MP about how annoyed I am that my country is still culpable in genocide. Make my voice heard, you know? I also want to keep making art that people enjoy, because I think that's important. And I'm going to buy another commission from an artist I like, because they could probably use something good in their life right now. And... to be honest, I'm not sure what else I'll do yet. When I figure it out, though, I'll try and actually do it.
Maybe for you, un-shitty things mean something smaller scale. Hugging your loved ones for longer, or giving that loose change you always carry around to the next homeless person you see. That's good too. Maybe it's something larger in scale, and that's awesome! But to anyone who's reading this, I'd definitely recommend doing something that not only feels good, but is also TANGIBLE. Not only does doing feel good, but it means that you're improving someone else's life, in however small a way. Which, y'know. Net positive, innit.
(Yes, I'm aware this is basically the 'when you see someone being so mean it inspires you to be kinder meme', lmao. No, I don't really care.)
You asked me how I'm holding up? Well, the first thing I'd like to do is respond to your question in kind: how are you holding up? In a general sense? In specific ways? Hopes, anxieties, plans?
And the next thing I'm going to do is tell you that I'm more than holding up.
I'm locking in.
#GODDAMNIT this one turned out longer than I wanted it to. Fuck. ah well. I'm a terminal yapper this was pretty much inevitable#also still gonna be runnning the blog obvs#I've got a real good selection of images still in the folder#and my loyal minion is still making incremental progress on giving everything we've already posted alt text#but yeah! Praxis#as much as I would love to make Elon and Trump and Vance's lives miserable it's just not feasible for me#gonna just be nice to some people instead#(and maybe find ways to make life more difficult for Farage and Banedoch and Yaxley-Lennon#and some of our other home-grown cunts. Yaknow. If I'm feeling spiteful)#not a pic#someone asked me a thing!
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Could you draw beenose design please? :] i loved to see it and how you picturing her looks. (Yes that cat that gossip to needletail and sleekwhisker when their apprentices)
trouble comes in threes
#'my childhood was miserable' girl you are SO funny to me.#these girls are my everything. i HC them as the spoilt daughters of shadowclans more respected warriors who get like. bored and accidentall#let their terrorist boyfriends destroy their fucking homes. they are fools.#warrior cats#needletail#sleekwhisker#beenose#a vision of shadows#asks#warrior cats design#design requests
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This tweet is peak French culture lmao
"We're not even hyped up for the sports we just want to see how catastrophic it's gonna be, it's gonna be peak entertainment lmaoo"
#I'm so proud of whoever said this#they basically summed up what most French people think about thr Olympics#like Paris is already bad enough as it is are you sure you want to host the Olympics there ??#i kinda want to spend the summer holidays in Paris now so I can witness the absolute chaos that it's gonna be#also fuck the government for forcing the Parisian students to move out of their dorms#i hope everything fails miserably#frenchblr#croissant baguette#french posting#olympics#olympic games#paris#paris france#twitter#tweet
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maturing is realising that valvert old man yaoi is just as good as enjoltaire
#hello dear les mis fandom we are so fucking back#im hyperfixating again#see the thing is les mis is literraly my special interest for like 5+ years#and the way i aged i had to realise that i’ve become a javert girlie#because i was always like womp womp with him#but now hes literally everything to me im ngl#les mis#les miserables#valvert#javert
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Yknow, I feel like Dick not fighting back against the mistreatment of him during the Spyral arc (perpetrated by the batfamily) isn't super surprising from a trauma lens, at least not to me.
I've seen people tend to argue that Dick should've and would've fought back, and I'm definitely not arguing otherwise- but why DIDN'T he fight back??
Personally, to me, his behavior strikes me as fawning. He's not arguing against the shitty things the batfamily does to him or say about him, if anything he's agreeing with them. I could probably really look back over how he acts in B&R: Eternal, but from what I remember, he feels very people pleasing.
And imo this isn't super surprising? Especially if what happened in Nightwing #30 is still fresh in his mind, not to mention Spyral breaking him down and the others lashing out at him, physically and verbally. These things are very traumatizing, and would've changed him most likely. His trauma response being to fawn here makes sense; he Needs the others to work with him, and fighting them on something they won't budge on will only get him hurt. Not only that, but physical punishment seems to be a very real consequence at this time, and Dick is likely in survival mode.
If fawning means he can get his job done and not be physically punished, then it makes the most sense for him to go that route, as sad as it is. His trauma response moving from fight(?) to fawn would be a really interesting thing to explore. After all, Dick said things wouldn't be the same, but we don't know WHAT would change, or if it would even be for the better (since people seem to interpret that to mean 'I'm leaving after this' or similar, which is fair tbh but that statement can mean a multitude of things).
Overall, regardless of how in character it is, I think Dick turning to fawning makes sense in this situation. Being beaten by your father and then repeatedly physically and verbally assaulted by the rest of your family is deeply traumatizing, not to mention everything that is Spyral. If Dick can minimize the damage to himself as much as possible and finish the mission, then it makes sense for him to fawn.
#felix (host)#dick grayson#dc comics#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#Nightwing#spyral#dick grayson analysis#dick grayson meta#this is just how i read Dicks behavior during that arc#and it makes me miserable tbh#it just reads as like. someone in survival mode#someone who doesn't want to or doesn't have the energy to fight#or doesn't want to be the target of said fighting#maybe I'm projecting but#i do the exact same shit Dick does here#and for me it's all bc i don't have the energy to fight n i don't want to be targeted again#that sort of thing takes a LOT out of you#and Dick dealing with being the scapegoat on top of everything Spyral?#yeah no fucking wonder he fawns lol#esp if being hurt is a real possibility in his mind#just. idk i saw a lot of myself in the times Dick didn't fight#Dick on a normal or good day definitely would've fought i think!#but uhh this is a time where hes being actively traumatized and he's likely in a rlly bad place#it's just easier not to fight at that point yknow?#idk i hope this makes sense loll
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sorry but i think if you saw one of the tour shirts having a defect and you got immediately angry about it accusing dnp and their team of deliberately scamming people instead of going "hm could this possibly be an unforeseen production error" you should delete your account and never post about them or anything else ever again :P
#and it's not even the people who bought the shirt like#bitch your show is in three months the fuck do you care#everyone's getting a replacement??? why are you so fucking miserable#and why are there so many of u omgggg shut uppppppppppp#i just think. maybe. people took the concept of holding their faves accountable#and decided that means just being really angry at them for everything all the time#and Yeah i'm very much too far in the opposite direction dnp could kill someone and im like well im sure they had their reasons#but idk. i just hate how accusatory people always are#towards everyone not just dnp or other faves#but friends and strangers and ugh i hate it
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Whole household came down w food poisoning thr day before 4th of July...... are you for real here
#like. 4 years running that ive had a miserable 4th of july ..#im finally not employed this time around and yet. something managed to make everything fucked
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I feel like most of the fandom doesn’t give Ghostbur credit for how mature and complex he is. Like- he’s cute and optimistic but that doesn’t mean innocent baby.
Every time I watch the scene where Ghostbur gets pissed at phil for blowing up L’Manberg I wanna shove it in the face of people who infantilize him and say: look. LOOK! He’s an adult with emotional depth! Also his optimism is like- a coping mechanism/an act to keep everyone happy. I’m not very good at explaining.
#he knows everything is fucked but he wants to give people hope because he cares about them and doesn’t want them to be miserable like him‼️#zorishy says random stuff#bursonas#burs reclaimed#ghostbur#If I see one more person infantilize ghostbur im gonna strangle them /nsrs#c!wilbur
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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Zeeks: “B-but! Katara marrying Zuko would help better the relations between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribe!”
My guy, Katara can do all that without marrying into the monarchy that colonized and slaughtered her people. Let her have her agency- damn.
#antizutara#anti fire lady katara#zeekay fandumb bullshit#mate- Katara would be fucking miserable living in the fire nation- let alone the royal palace#everything reminding her of the the trauma and carnage the fire nation imposed on her people#she forgave Zuko- not the fire nation as a whole
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The God™️ is literally a child with trust issues and guilt give him a break :(
#soul's art stuff#ninjago#lego ninjago#fsm ninjago#ninjago fsm#first spinjitzu master#the first spinjitzu master#my sad miserable little meow meow#he's gotta feel a fuck ton of guilt I swear#he probably blames himself for everything from not being able to stop the war to Garmadon getting bitten#and his entire family being the destiny's favorite (in a very negative way)#that is a literal child graaaahhh#no child should have this burden not even a literal god
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hiii dayurno could you tell me more about raven!jeremy? it's such a new idea sounds very interesting!!!
hiii of course! buckle up. long story and also a collab with ao3 kevjean :3
well first of all let me say that in this au jeremy is not part of the perfect court or in fact even close to it at all. he’s a sub striker with a high jersey number who did not see much playtime during his career as a raven and was on the lower end of the raven spectrum skill-wise. this is important to tell you because the fic doesn’t start with jeremy in the ravens, it starts with him dealing with the aftermath of the nest getting dissolved and losing every bit of his hopes and dreams after sacrificing everything in his life to make it in eau—it starts with kevin salvaging the last dregs of jeremy’s college career by recruiting him for the foxes for his last year, even though jeremy, as an ex raven, hates him (and jean) for what they’ve done both to riko and to their team
ok good. so set the scene. jeremy is miserable. the ravens already didn’t like kevin and jean to begin with, isolated as they were from the perfect court. now jeremy lost not only his team but the lifestyle surrounding it, the ideology of the ravens, his partner, and his career prospects. he doesn’t have the eau raven title anymore and he can’t use it to get himself in the line of sight of most pro team recruiters. he gave up a family (that didn’t love him much, but still) and a trustfund for this. kevin day leaves the nest, jean moreau follows soon after, and their king kills himself. Do you understand how much jeremy hates them? kevin and jean were perfect court, were untouchable, didn’t even know or care to learn his name as a sub striker with not much under his belt—and then they left and destroyed everything jeremy had worked so hard for without even thinking about him. without remembering him at all, in fact.
he hates them!!!!!!!! desperately. With a passion. getting recruited for the foxes and by kevin day on top of it all is humiliating, but it’s the last chance he has. jeremy arrives in palmetto an angry hateful mess made ten times worse by kevin’s constant criticism of him, unaccustomed with normal life and without a partner for the first time in four years. he’s volatile and destructive and he has nothing to live for. exy is the only thing he wants and it doesn’t want him back. :) kevin steps in and takes jeremy’s game from him much like he did with neil, both out of desperation because the foxes are a mess now with the addition of their freshmen, and because, while jeremy isn’t really anything to write home about in terms of skill, he’s far more ambitious and disciplined than the average fox. jeremy hates kevin but can’t afford to reject his help. thus begins the most convoluted raven partnership to ever exist
jeremy hates kevin and has a non-negligible wish to harm him whichever way he can, but he’s also a raven that escaped the nest all on his own. he latches onto kevin immediately, the two of them becoming partners in the raven sense of the world while clashing Often and Intensely with each other both on and off court. their relationship gets more and more volatile the more jeremy goes out of his way to get under kevin’s skin, resentful and so angry at what the perfect court’s done to him, while kevin sinks his feet in and pushes jeremy way past his limits in his training. basically they are a match made in hell :) lots of hatefucking and jealousy and violence and the one murder attempt ensue as the foxes try to navigate this destructive, hopeless version of jeremy that wants to die and take down as much as he can in the process, up to and including kevin day. they’re together every second of the day and jeremy hates him for everything kevin took from the ravens, but he also depends on kevin’s training and presence to feel like a person again. it’s a really big mess basically that is eventually made worse (and better) by kevin and jeremy starting to sleep together to get the adrenaline out raven-style. and that’s all without jean coming along, which he will eventually
#its really funny but im obsessed w the keremy dynamic here#jeremy hates kevin but he cant let go of kevin at all because he cant be alone#the other foxes dont like him and he’s volatile to all of them because they fucking suck#kevin is the only person who understands even a fraction of what jeremy went through but kevin is#also the reason why jeremy lost everything#he’s Very Much in the raven mindset still and dangerously suicidal#he wants to hurt himself and to hurt kevin and to hurt the foxes and to make something out of his life#after been denied everything he’s spent the last four years humiliating and hurting himself for#do u get it. hes so miserable#he’s so miserable and only kevin can help him and he hates kevin so much.#genuinely his kevin complex in this one is my favorite of all time#jeremy detests kevin wants him needs him to feel good cant stand the sight of him cant forgive him cant live without him#its a very fucked up partnership that also sucks kevin right back into the raven mindset#they become a very isolated cult of two in the foxes that pushes kevin even further away from the rest of them#codependent baddies :) yay#asks#jeremy#keremy#raven among doves#<- provisory wip tag
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do you suppose sanji has a complex of putting himself before others/not letting others be harmed for his sake bc he still doesnt quite understand why zeff gave his leg for him .
#head in handsIM SO FUCKING MISERABLE#sanji going from having the shittiest dad who hated him ever to this random pirate giving up everything for him#bye. head in hands#vinsmoke sanji#(regrettably)#black leg sanji#sanji#one piece#one piece meta#annie rambles
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