#everything is fucking happening
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guys I'm losing my mind from reading Changes from The Dresden Files.
#I am clawing at the walls#I straight up thought Butters just died and he still might#and then he fucking electrocuted a man??#everything is fucking happening#I can't fucking believe Harry took up the mantle of the Winter Knight#and then the book proceeded to list all the things tumblr users want to fuck but can't
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something insanely meta about jack and tommy chatting about how it all sucked everything sucked and it was a mess and it hurt and no theyd never wanna go back but.. they miss it sometimes. to the way things were and how they felt. sometimes you just wanna go back
#dsmp#insanely meta considering everything thats fucking happened#id never want to do dsmp again but i do miss how it Felt to be In it#to trust the people and care about the story#never again. it sucked. but yeah. sometimes you miss it
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#tweets#extremely relevant to my fandom#'WAH WAAAH WHY CANT BIRDRICK BE PLATONIC WAHH WAAHHH NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY'#lmao 99% of protagonists end up in a straight relationship even if the characters have no chemistry#we can't have ONE same-gender relationship?#this happens in other fandoms too#I saw a wednesday/enid ship post on facebook and the comments were an endless spew of 'wah wah why can't they be FRIENDS'#who the fuck said they can't??#you just don't like it because it's a WLW ship
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Brennan's screaming "BREADED CHICKEN! BREADED CHICKEN!" like the human embodiment of a dog who heard you say "walk"
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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breaking the sign in two by how hard im tapping it
#im putting the word queerbait in a very tall box on a very tall shelf and none of you get it back until you actually learn the definition#sjonnies edits#queerbait#queer media#queer#queer issues#there are real queerbaits! a lot of them! but i am SO sick and tired of everything that's not explicitly stated be called queerbait#or when the focus in an action movie is not the full romance#would the hero and the girl have kissed in a straight action movie? sure. but even now more often than not that doesn't happen or the focus#is different entirely#the world doesn't change overnight. but you know what helps changing it? watching the media that's implying it! NORMALISING THAT MEDIA!#showing the studios that it isn't popularity suicide. encouraging actors to diversify and give them the respect they need without turning#every conversation an actor playing a queer character into what their sexuality is!#venom#deadpool and wolverine#loki#911#<- which. btw. fucking INSANE thing to say#also queer characters CANNOT be used for queerbait#QUEER CHARACTERS CANNOT BE USED FOR QUEERBAIT#they can be buried! but they CANNOT be used for queerbait because they. are. queer.
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finally got lines for the last two pages . enjoy a preview
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stump art#stump dump#when did i start this . fucking october ???#hey having a project interrupted sucks#anyways im gonna finish it yay . did not need to take this long but you know how it is with having literally everything happen#at the end of the year#conveniently . woo#well i guess also my life has been very theseus focused#and shall continue to be so as i have 30 page comic in the pipeline#all sketched up and ready for panels + lettering#yes i do enjoy making mistakes . why do you ask
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Currently, my favorite potential Forgettable!AU Gaster and Papyrus dynamic:
My personal favorite interpretation of what Papyrus and Gasters relationship (whether it be (grand)father/son, or just mentor and trainee) would be like, is them both being equally as enthusiastic about everything, and in general just matching each others energy 100% 😭 ITS SO AMAZING ITS ALWAYS A TREAT WHEN A COMIC PORTRAYS THEM AS SUCH
“GASTER!!!!” “PAPYRUS!!!” “GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY!!!!” “WHAT DID YOU DO MY SON?????” “I FINISHED THAT PUZZLE I WAS WORKING ON!!!” “OH MY GOD!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!!!!”
and sans sitting on the couch like: :)
Its just so pure….
SO ANYWHO, taking that dynamic and shoving it into this AU is currently my favorite thing to think about
Then its even better with Wingdings being canonically unnerved by Papyrus, and being (ID IMAGINE) not too thrilled with being in the same room as Gaster for too long.
I wanna make a Seinfeld ass sitcom series of all 3 of them living in an apartment together and also Sans and/or Alphys visits periodically
Gaster and Papyrus are like staring daggers at the newspaper puzzles tryna solve em, and Wingdings comes in all tired with a cup of coffee and as he’s about to greet them they both go “SHH!!!”
They’d kinda be like Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward
There would be a running gag where they would always find clearly unintentional hidden messages in the horoscope because of the letters that they correspond to in the wingdings font
Gaster would just randomly talk in like jokerman font because he can
LET ME COOK 😭😭😭😭 id go on. And i probably will on my shitpost account
They should all have a group name like- “Papyrus and Co” or “The Three Skeleclones”
#I love them all so much all for very different reasons#seriously debating making a short comic#sans would come in and wingdings thinks hes gonna resolve the conflict#thats been going on the entire episode#but he just makes it so much worse#and wd has to call alphys who fucks up so bad it brings them all closer and ends up resolving everything#LET ME COOK#oh yeah and im writing all of this COMPLETELY ignoring how impossible it would be for any of this to happen#LIKE MAYBE GASTER AND PAPYRUS#OR GASTER AND WINGDINGS#not Papyrus and Wingdings#if that happens in the comics id be shocked#cause as far as I know#dead people cant talk to their replacements#EY IM OPEN TO IT IF IT HAPPENS#i just dunno how
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Homestuck kid designs in 2024
#I forgot everything about homestuck so I been rereading it after a friend got into it#memories unlocked#anyways yay I love design homestuck has so many characters to work with so this should be fun 😸😸#fuck andrew hussie these are my characters 💥💥💥#homestuck#june egbert#rose lalonde#john egbert#dave strider#jade harley#homestuck kids#they are all 13 here I will make older designs for them once I finally get to that part in the story#troll designs will take a while...there is so fucking many of them but it will happen#cringe is dead
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and every transfiguration of yourself will be the same
#art#painting#coyotes#coyote#gouache#traditional#my art#fucked around with my process for this one i sketched everything out before cutting it into four pieces and painting those separately#so the slight misalignments/discolorations are intentional insofar as i willingly let them happen#which was inspired by the process of an artist named jeff cohen whom i saw some work by in a small gallery while i was in colorado
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anyways. What
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#hc s10#docm77#joehills#joe hills#juppet#vintagebeef#doc beef and joe just slowly fucking loosing it throughout this interaction is one of my favorite things that's ever happened on hermitcraf#also. watching his fucking gigantic hour glass slowly grow in the background of other peoples videos for the last week#why did he do that to himself so early in the season omg 😭#it literally is so ridiculously large it is insane. it looks insane next to everything else around it. it takes up the entire skyline#im thinking about keralis. who built his lake facing the shopping district so he could avoid looking at iskall's monolith while fishing#or mumbo and grian joking about making the biggest mega build in the shopping district for their wart shop. good luck with that now lmao#seriously if you haven't already y'all should go watch Wels' last video if only to see that thing grow in the background throughout the vid#wels built an entire castle on accident in that video and i still spent the entire duration going 'DOC WHAT THE HELL' it was so distracting
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You don’t understand what this means to me, Vi and Caitlyn get to be together. I get to imagine all their happiness together: Caitlyn gets to apologize, Vi gets to wake up next to Caitlyn every day and go to sleep next to her every night, Caitlyn doesn’t have to fill that hole anymore either, they get to kiss softly and make love, they get to comfort each other when they have nightmares, they get to call each other pet names and tease each other, they get to fight by each other’s side, Cait gets to tell Vi she loves her and Vi gets to say it back, they get to call one another out when either one slips, they get to balance each other, they get to be a mundane couple and sit by the fire place together and eat together, and everyone gets to see them be the power couple they are. Despite all the pain, they get each other, just a little bit of happiness in a world that crushed almost everyone else’s.
#goodbye to the loves of my life#goodbye to the best gay power couple#you will always be happy in my mind#and this fills my heart with joy#basically almost all the fanart gets to be real#everything you imagined can happen because they fucking lived and they made it through together#thank you fortiche 🥹#vicait#arcane#caitvi#violyn#arcane finale#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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Obviously next week could prove this all dead-wrong, but I don’t think the trial’s quite over. I don’t believe the end of that episode actually took place, because I’m pretty sure we’re still firmly in the “punish Agatha” phase. Rio’s suddenly gone. Alice seems to be dead by Agatha’s hand, and no one—including Teen, who has always been on her side—seems primed to believe she was out of control. The others have been sucked beneath the power of the surrogate son who not only just told Agatha to fuck off, but went full-Wanda to do it. It just all seems too tailored to cut up any of the character progress Agatha’s made on the Road thus far. Getting harassed by her ghost mother and hearing her son’s voice don’t feel like a complete tear-down. This does. It feels like more trial.
#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness#show next week: punt your theory into the SUN idiot#it just felt so abrupt#like that episode felt SHORT and the ending came up like a two by four to the forehead#feels a lot like Agatha’s fears coming true#your coven will leave you. your girl vanishes. your not-son reviles you AND bears the power and control of#the witch who fucked you up so badly and foiled your power#it seems really interesting that this happens when we’re starting to really get glimpses of the softer side of Agatha#with her love for Rio and her mounting reluctant affection for the coven and her grief for her son#and now the idea that Teen needs to be bound up as a ‘familiar’ when she knows she’s been letting him in#he’s not yours Agatha. he’s not yours and he wants nothing to do with you#Wanda gets everything and Agatha gets sucked under#I find it all veeeery curious
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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