#everything feels stupid!!!
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ratscream
#ive just been sitting here staring at my desk for like an hour because my brain wont let me do anything#everything feels stupid!!!#like yea i know im stuck in my head but walking away and trying to do something else doesn't help either#and just results in me spending all my free time laying in bed which just contributes to the Negative Thoughts(TM)#its like im just sitting here but im exhausted because inside my head there is an endless rube goldberg device that just sets of a myriad o#disasters that never stop#cant even find the energy to watch a movie or play a game
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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship
#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#destiel#castiel#deancas#misha collins#im 20 i have been Experiencing supernatural and johnlock since i was 12 and merthur since wayy before that i have fought Wars#this is crazy#i love u hannibal i love u 911 (if u make eddie gay)#for the love of god by 'mostly headcanoned' i dont mean that it was never intentional#i am aware that they put the subtext in on purpose#they knew what they were doing#but my focus here is on the actor actually saying it because like#if its not mostly headcanoned then y was the entire cast denying it for years AND YEARS#like do yall not remember what jared and jenesn used to say#there have been many many many instances where the cast has made us feel crazy/stupid for saying anything abt destiel#im just saying TO ME its crazy that actors and creators talk so openly about these things now !!! again i was raised on merlin and sherlock#ok also im confused on the queerbaiting part#everyones saying its queer coding and not queer baiting but cant they be true at the same time ?#im not being dumb on purpose i swear im just confused#like yes dean is very much bi coded and their relationship is queer coded but if the creators deny everything#and we only get a last minute confession after 11 years#that doesnt count as queer baiting ?#someone smart explain this to me 🙏
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Sure you could fall in love with me but would you put up glow in the dark stars all over our bedroom walls with me? Would you paint our mailbox fun colors with me? Would you make pancakes in silly shapes and buy knickknacks we’ll never use and pick up hobbies we won’t stick to with me? Would you live and be silly and be a little dumb and be a genius and be confident and lazy and kind and angry and everything? Would you give me absolutely every side of yourself that you can??
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#when i say i want to fall in love and everything it entails#i do mean EVERYTHING#i wanna do stupid and silly and meaningless things with you#isn’t that the point of it all?#ughh i Cannot articulate it well#but yeah#im gay and i like sleeping#also you may think im online posting this rn but actually im scheduling this post >:)#i like scheduling it makes me feel like im bamboozling and i love a good bamboozle#also it makes it not as obvious that this is another one of my mid-crisis 3am posts lol
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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There’s not enough people talking about how important Stephanie is to Damian’s growth pre-Flashpoint.
Bruce had seen Damian as a beast to be tamed, Tim sees him as a ticking time bomb, and Dick is far better with him but he’s still an authority figure for Damian to combat with. But then he meets Stephanie, a college-aged girl who nobody trusts and he bullies her relentlessly and becomes inseparable from her.
She doesn’t interact with him based on his past, but on what she can see. This 10 year old just threatened to kill her? Wow he doesn’t get outside much. He’s not old enough to have seen Gremlins. What do you MEAN you’ve never been inside a bouncy house before we are fixing that immediately.
They are like cousins to each other. They poke fun at each other for being lame and stupid and Dick has to tell them both to shut up. She doesn’t see him as a project to be molded and redeemed, he’s just a kid with a crappy childhood like her and if he’s nice to her for 5 seconds she’ll do something with him to let him feel like a kid. And he doesn’t look at her and see a liability or a failure or a lost cause, like everyone she’s ever interacted with does. When he’s awful to her, it’s because he’s an obnoxious preteen boy.
And then you get the “there’s room in our line of work for hope, too” scene. Because Damian has gotten to know Steph and he can’t fathom why she’s here. She obviously has had to deal with crap and is still working through being kept on a leash by Nightwing and Oracle, but she isn’t broken like the rest of them are. Damian is surrounded by people who were molded and shaped and torn down and broken to become the monoliths that they are, and then there’s this girl who seems so at peace with herself and is constantly making quips, and it’s so foreign to him.
And she tells him that she’s in his world because she believes people are worth fighting for.
#Batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#robin dc#batgirl#batgirl (2009)#Batfam#Batfamily#dc comics#batman meta#batgirl (2009) is my favorite comic I’ve ever read can you tell#I just love how Stephanie and Damian are so removed from everything when they’re together that there isn’t any hierarchy between them#they each have some sort of hierarchy and Expectation around literally everyone else#but with each other they’re just peers#they can work together and fight together#they can hate each other and be bickering the entire time#but they evaluate each other based on what they see#Damian sees a goofy but determined woman who doesn’t look at him like he needs fixing#and Stephanie sees a violent kid who clearly hasn’t had a childhood but is trustworthy in a fight#and they just. interact based on those factors and nothing else#and it’s so beautiful for them both#and you have the whole ‘fatgirl’ and ‘when did you start stuffing your suit’ comments from Damian that suck#but weirdly I find it comforting because it implies to me that Damian is feeling some stuff that’ll tie into puberty#and he lets himself (albeit in a very uncomfortable and harmful way) feel those emotions and express them to Steph#like it’s very stupid and so early 2000s and frustrating#but I think it’s a little charming how it’s another example of Stephanie sort of being a vessel for Damian to experience normal feelings#even if he ends up being very Damian about it
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catch us if you can! ☆
#the drawings that made my ipad scream in agony#project sekai#polysho#polysho week 2024#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#pjsk#prsk#proseka#colorful stage#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#and tbh theyre pretty overt so#emukasa#ruinene#emks walk into a store in plain clothes and see rui and nene and emu goes Tsukasakun its the detectives we have to hide !!!!!#and tsukasa goes heh.. no need emu.. without our genius disguises snd hair extensions on they wont recognize a thing!!!#(both talking at 200db) (nene voice) Are they stupid?#ruis just a bit too happy about being consistently outsmarted to notice. emks is only winning at phantom thievery by looney tunes logic tho#Emukasa are just team rocket-ing it. and wxs miku much like the detestable Meowth#POLYSHOW WEEK IS KILLING ME AND I ONLY DID 2 DAYS#i drew this whole thing literally just bc i wanted emu in the phantom thief suit. everything else was secondary#my petition to abolish the costume gender lock#I NEVER WANT TO LOOK. AT ANY OF THESE FUCKING OUTFITS EVER AGAIN. EVERRRR. NIGHTMARE DRAWING.#COUGHS UP BLOOD AND GOES TO LESVE THE ROOM BUT I HIT MY HEAD ON THE DOORFRAME AND BLACK OUT.#this is gonna be a bitch to post on instagram with it's Stupid fucking Crop. Guh#FUCK I FORGOT TO PUT THE SHADOW ON THEIR STUPID HANDCUFF LINK dont care dont feel like it [coughs up more blood
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here's the thing. yes hannibal is gleeful and yes will is brooding, BUT:
hannibal is a meticulous planner, a polyglot, a genius, nigh unstoppable in a fight but always opting for prep time whenever possible, the wealthy owner of a gothic-style ancestral estate; he sees himself as a manifestation of justice, is represented visually by a leathery-black animal/human creature, had a childhood defined by a family loss, maintains a secret basement, and has a flouncy, cheerful, socialite public persona
will is a nobody from nowhere - "always the new boy at school," no family, no close friends, no past where he would be remembered; he is also a genius, but his most dangerous trait as a killer is that he is chaotic, disorganized, vicious, artistic but impulsive, ruining his own carefully-laid plans on a whim; he has successfully seduced an employee of a mental hospital into killing in his name, and he is a jealous little bitch, ruled by his emotions first and foremost
they're dancing to the same tune as batjokes, just in reverse
#hannibal#batman#hannigram#bruce wayne#batjokes#will graham#joker#hannibal lecter#if you stretch this a little abigail would be jason todd#will 'kills' her and when she rises from the grave hannibal slits her throat#but it's a stretch. it's a stretch#dc comics#hannibal nbc#yes will is brooding in the show. but the reason for that is that he is repressing everything that he is#during his most honest and terrifying moments he is Grinning#and i feel like post-fall he would take an absolutely chilling delight in his murders#he's got the inclination. he was just in the closet#matthew brown wanted to be his harley quinn SO bad it made him look stupid#dr hannibal lecter#nbc hannibal#hannibal tv#will having a thing for the stag man is also a bonus. the same way joker is 1000% into batman as an Entity
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the fact that this is real is beyond horrifying
#the fact that they’re trying to frame this as being respectful is MENTAL#he did not unalive himself he killed himself because he was suffering from mental health issues and it’s awful and to try and make that#statement more easily digestible or cutisy is so disrespectful and does nothing to help people suffering#we need to actually talk about mental health issues not just use stupid tiktok buzzwords#suicide should make you feel uncomfortable its an uncomfortable topic but we need to live with that uncomfortability#we can’t just cover everything up and make ourselves feel comfortable all the time#we’re not going to accomplish anything that way and we’re just going to make people who are suffering feel more isolated#mari.txt#kurt cobain#nirvana#suicide mention/#yeah i’m using a trigger warning because that’s actually helpful#replacing words isn’t
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This goes hard ngl
#I love how they are bound to have conflicted in them comic#the toxic slow burn the lovingly roasting each other of their stupidity#One can feel everything and yet he can't read his companion's mind isn't this a tragedy#Wavewave#Robot in disguise
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*
#rottmnt#I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it...#No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay#I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly#but#you see#It's CAS#cass fanart tag#and it is commission#I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and#think “Can I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??” I“M SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING#ALL MY LIFE#okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it#You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it#*hides*
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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hey shoutout to dndads fans with DID/dndads fans who are part of a system. i love you! and also shoutout to BIPOC dndads fans. i love you too! im really saddened by fans being shitty and also cast being shitty. yall are amazing and im sorry there are fans/cast members who try to tell you otherwise ❤
#on GOD i will do everything in my power to make my blog a safe space for you <333#and i always have anon on for when i inevitably fuck up and get something wrong!!#i strive to have a space where nobody feels afraid to call me on my bullshit. im white and stupid!! i will get it wrong!!#anyway. Beth May stop fucking tweeting ableist bullshit challenge#dndads#dungeons and daddies#beth may
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Blam more!!!!
#dont mind me#the artstyle is just everything i want it feels so easy and fun to draw#also i love thsi stupid cat so much#dogg.....#my art#kappart#sketches#petey the cat#dog man#lil petey#detey
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I don’t think we talk enough about how being love bombed can like really fuck you up??? Like yeah is it easy to identify from an outside perspective? Absolutely. But being in it and having someone devote that much time and attention to you (even if it is manipulative in nature) to then having it end abruptly when they’ve gotten what they wanted out of you… 🫠
#mine#text post#it’s so devious and sinister the way people can just do this to people#and every time I come out of it#I just feel so stupid and like of course that’s what was happening#why wouldn’t that be what was happening???#and not only does it feel super shitty to feel like you were being used#and also that like everything they said was just a ploy to get something from you#but like the withdrawal of attention is my least favorite part#because it feels nice to be pursued and flirted with and called pretty#and to have someone ask about your day#etc etc#but then when it disappears#you just feel awful#at least I do#and don’t even get me started on how it becomes so hard to believe people after that#to believe anything anyone says#to see yourself as desirable outside of manipulation and being used#just shitty shitty shitty#ruminating on things I shouldn’t#but was thinking about this tonight#having fallen prey to it so many times#sorry for the rant#I’m done now
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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