#everyone’s like OH significance and a better end sound the same THEY DO NOT!

[bioswear]

the way The Wretched Automatons from Replicant embodies the same qualities of Wretched Weaponry from Automata and the way Blissful Death from Automata echoes A Better End from DOD3

[emiliosandozsequence]

Tell us about sjm. Spill the tea.

oh man there really is SOOO very much of it that idk how i'll fit all into one response, but i'll do my best 🫡

so sjm or sarah j maas is a very popular fantasy writer (she is the origin of 'feminist' romantasy as a genre because her writing has just been THAT influential (in some good ways, but mostly in bad ones for reasons i'll get to in a minute). she's jewish and has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes (this also is relevant i promise).

anyway, despite her writing being so influential it...is really not that good (it has the potential to be tho which is one of the (many) reasons why reading her stuff is so frustrating) and she has a HUUUGE problem with putting her biases in her writing, in particular her racism, misogyny, and ableism.

her racism is at a level that i truly find unbelievable. in every book of hers, every character that is seen as good/smart/beautiful/brave, is a main character, or, at the very least, starts out that way in the story and doesn't have a redemption arc later after the narrative has already taught you to hate her (because it's always female characters this is done with too), has fair hair and light colored eyes (and almost always light skin too); on the opposite end of the spectrum, every single (female) character that either is in the story for not very long, isn't a main character, starts out a bad or undesirable person in some manner, or isn't considered good/smart/beautiful/brave has dark hair, eyes, and/or skin.

this is a tame tho in comparison to the fact that in the first two throne of glass books (one the series she's written), the only black character is considered a manipulative liar (she's even described as such on the wiki lmao) despite being the main character's best friend before she's summarily killed off in an extremely violent manner all for the development of that main character. she also has an asian character in the acotar series that is considered rude and emotionless, despite, again, being a best friend of the main characters. oh and of COURSE the asian character doesn't have dark eyes lol. because...can't have that in a sjm book!!!! no one can look like an irl person of color AT ALL!!!! g-d. and then, ofc, there's the illyrians, which are 100% coded as people of color and are a violent and misogynistic group of people lmao. as if htat weren't bad enough, she also tried to trademark illyria/illyiran even tho (and this is what made me make the post this morning) that's a REAL PLACE with REAL PEOPLE LIVING THERE.

and even THAT is tame to the fact she posted a promotion for her own book on the same day breonna taylor was killed and, not only that, but used her death to promote said book because she mentioned the murder in one (1) line of the post. to this day she has STILL NOT taken down that post.

compared to that, her misogyny in her novels (the main character constantly competing with other girls and always thinking she's better than they are and 'not like other girls teehee') and her glaring plagiarism (she uses terminology not only directly pulled from asoiaf (wolf in the north; the queen who was promised; oathbreaker; breaker of chains) but is used in exactly the same context as asoiaf too as well as some pretty significant plotlines of dany's (in particular her freeing the slaves of several cities and gathering up everyone on her continent to support her claim to the throne and unite in defense against a common foe that will turn all of them into walking zombies basically....SOUND FAMILIAR??????)) is a pretty tame offense, but imo it all adds up to just one disgusting whole of a person to me.

oh and, to top it all off, she's a zionist. there's a video essay about her i watched on youtube that explains the proof for this, but i do Not remember what it was she said now, so i'll link it here.

she's also ableist too, which expresses itself in how nesta archeron is treated throughout a court of silver flames (g-d forbid a traumatized woman be hypersexual and an addict and get sick of being treated like shit by the peope around her or she deserves to get thrown out of her home to a place her 'loved ones' know is going to be openly hostile to her lol). i don't think sjm even realizes how ableist she is throughout this book bc she claimed it's a healing journey and like...lol. lmao even.

also (i'm 100% being petty here) i hate how fake she comes across. in every time i see a picture of her, and the one interview of her i saw, she reminds me so much of my mother to the point it makes me physically ill.

i'm almost certainly forgetting something because there's just SOOO much about this woman to dislike, but this is everything that immediately came to mind.

anyway her fans are also rancid and believe she's some sort of goddess of writing when she's not even that good and is 100% a fake and shitty person that doesn't truly care about them at all whatsoever.

[panlight]

Hello. Bella was bitten by James, and then became immune to the poisons of other vampires. How does that even make any sense? James and the other vampires share the same venom, he and Callena are not different species. This version sounds like nonsense. What are your thoughts on this?

Oh it's certainly not canon at all! I've just always thought it strange that Bella is the one person who was bitten by a vampire and didn't turn (or wasn't killed). It seems so weird to me that SM set up this one-of-a-kind circumstance and just . . . didn't do anything with it. You'd have thought this James bite, the fact that Bella has been bitten before and survived would have some affect on the story but it really . . . just . . . doesn't. Like, at all. And it seems like such a waste to me!

So the idea here would be that it would work sort of like an inoculation. Bella's body was exposed to vampire venom, briefly. Her immune system now recognizes it. If she were bitten again, maybe her immune system could mount a defense. I understand this isn't real science or medicine but in my head it makes more sense than like, "vampires have 25 chromosome pairs and shapeshifters and hybrids have 24!"

Or even if SM had used the James bite to explain why Bella is "mysteriously good" at being a vampire. I know we're supposed to think it's destiny or whatever, but it always felt strange that a girl who loved the heat and sunshine, who got ill at the smell of blood, was 'born to be a vampire.' If the James bite changed her somehow, THAT could explain why she was so good at it.

Or, even though I still wouldn't have liked the whole Renesmee thing, what if that small amount of venom changed Bella just enough that it made the pregnancy possible? I would still dislike it, don't get me wrong, but IMHO it would be a better explanation for everyone's total shock and surprise than "we just literally never wondered about vampire/human reproduction before."

The James bite was such a cool, one-of-a-kind opportunity that could have really been played with more! As far as the characters know, it's never happened before that someone has sucked the venom out. So they really have no idea what that might mean, what could happen. I had thought it was going to be significant, but in the end it was just a way to show how much Edward loved Bella (he was able to drink her blood without killing her) and not about lore or world-building at all. Oh well.

[atlas-library]

Giggling and kicking my feet and twirling my hair and going "oh my gawd" every time I re-read the nsfw alphabet that you did of toge your brain is so huge💞 gigantic even. You said you don't think he talks during those times (understandable), but do you think he doesn't even like...say tuna? If he has to say something (best dirty talk ever)? Actually, do you think he ever has to fight off the urge to actually speak and say something during sex, and then gets like. Upset at himself inside?

Okay so first of all, I'm gonna cry, this is the sweetest comment ever omg 🥹🥹 I haven't given up on this blog btw, I haven't posted in a while but I just got sick + I have a new job starting soon + somehow the creative juice got sucked out of me, BUT I'M STILL HERE AND THIS COMMENT!!! IT GIVES ME MORE REASONS TO KEEP PESTERING Y'ALL!!! 😭😭😭 so yeah tysm for your comment it just made my night 🥹🥹💗💗

Okay, regarding your questions (nsfw, so find it under the cut!!)

I actually think he would use some rice-ingredient words!

In-between the moans and whimpers, the pants and grunts coming from you both, he would probably ask how you're doing— A small "Mustard leaf?", or even some "Tuna tuna!" when he feels you drift away. And if you ask him how he's holding up, he'd try to give you a shaky "S-salmon..!" so you keep going.

I just think overall he tries to keep quiet, mostly because of how insatiable he is and thus how long sessions can be— If it's his first or second orgasm, he's not necessarily going to slip out. He has enough control to remember he can't fully let go. The more you go on, though... well, you both remember the time when he screamed of pleasure— That was wild, even for him. Sometimes you leave him a crying mess, and all you can do is watch as he pants and lets out unintelligible whimpers.

I also definitely think he would try to say your name. I headcanon Toge with a speech impediment, mainly him stuttering and stammering because he doesn't often get to pronounce new words; he knows his commands by heart, as well as Yuuta's name (and even then, he would pronounce it "Yuuda" at first). However, I think he'd try very hard to pronounce everyone else's names correctly, especially if he got caught doing it and basically got the equivalent of a pat on the head. For his significant other, it's clear he'd try his hardest: he can't tell you how important you are to him, so he'll try to do something simple yet very meaningful for the both of you. He'll try to pronounce your name, without stuttering— And it might slip out during sex.

Whenever he uses it, even though it doesn't seem to affect him, it does affect you: you can't say if it's actual cursed energy or simply your feelings for him, but you find yourself staring at him, admiring his features and drinking any sound leaking from his lips.

🍵 Okay, let's take a breather now. 🍵

...

🍵 Breathe in.. breathe out. 🍵

About your last question— Toge's curse is being a passionate soul forced to silence. He hides it well, but he feels a lot; he's a control freak, similar to Maki (even though they'd never admit it), because that's how he hurts the least amount of people. Before the school, before Gojo, before Panda (his first friend)— Toge was alone. He wouldn't say a word, hands would be shoved against his mouth if he dared breathe too loud. The only person who never shushed him nor feared him ended up being cursed by him— Clearly, everyone's better off far away from him.

The problem is, Toge is a lover. I'm an Inuokko shipper first and foremost so this might be where this idea comes from, but, even platonically, I think Toge would be the one to relate most to Rika. They're like two sides of the same coin when it comes to love. @gelatosushix made a wonderful post about it, so I won't dive too deep into this, but basically: Rika kills when she loves, but Toge dies when he loves.

A common mistake would be comparing Toge to a moth, drawn to fire and getting burnt by it. Toge isn't the moth; he's the flame. You're the moth. He's captivating, he has this mysterious aura yet somehow seems like an open book, but only if you ask the right questions— Only if you learn his language (and I'm not talking about rice ingredients). He intoxicates you, draws you in with his gaze (whether a purple wine with violet droplets, or a fiery brown with amber lights).

Then, he pulls his collar down: tattoos, or maybe burn scars, marking his cheeks and tongue as death takes the form of a baby-faced man. He's a weapon, one even Maki can't wield. He's feared. And yet— The raspiness of his voice, the deep accents scratching his throat— They get to you. Stupid moth flying to its death. At least it'll be sweet, you think.

Toge kills for people, because killing goes hand-in-hand with dying in his case. Toge loves by pushing away; that's how it's always been, that's what he's been taught. Yet you're here— You're holding him, stroking his cheek, singing his name, giving yourself to him. It feels right, it feels like everything he's ever wanted, it feels like so little yet so much to him— And he hates it.

You deserve it all and he deserves nothing. You deserve words. Not silly ones, actual words— But he can't say it. He can't stutter that he loves you, because what if? He could curse you. He could ruin your life, and Toge's already ruined so many lives in the past— It weighs on his soul, yet he can endure it; as long as you're not the next accursed.

So he bites down. On your skin, on his hand, on the pillow— Anything, anywhere. He bites down to keep the sounds from coming out. And if you reassure him, tell him that you know, he doesn't need to say it— He starts crying. He hates himself, he hates his curse, he hates the fucking marks on his face.

His hips slam against yours, he grabs at your skin; you're near, he knows it. He knows you by heart, that's the least he can do.

Deeper, deeper, deeper— You reach the stars first, but he follows soon after. And he keeps crying. He cries the rest of the night, even with you holding him and whispering against his lips. He has to grab onto you so he doesn't run to the bathroom to desperatly try and wash his markings off.

Toge is a lover, a passionate soul forbidden from opening his heart; he hates emotional sex because of how much his heart bleeds from it. It ignites his flame, lures you in even more; and when his cries fill the room, when he hugs you tight— It's like you're a butterfly, pinned by the thorns of a rose you were drinking from.

[butterflyseas]

You can skip this if you'd like, but can you do fluffy headcannons for Tingyun? You can add more characters if you'd like (Also fem reader if you're okay with it, thanks!)

of course! thank you for the request! <3

⸻ fluffy tingyun headcanons

↳ pairing: tingyun x fem!reader

↳ content: fem!reader. slight spoilers, but nothing major. darling as a pet name. pda. tingyun being clingy lol. fluff <3

tingyun is busy — she's the amicassador for the sky-faring commission, after all. she normally doesn't mind the workload, but when it tears her away from you and keeps you apart for long stretches of time? oh, then she hates it.

she can be pretty clingy without meaning to — especially when she's just come back from a trip. the second she sees you again after being away, she's engulfing you in a hug and nuzzling her cheek against yours. talks about how much she missed you and how miserable she was without her darling next to her — and while it comes off as embellished, it's anything but. for as much time she spent on work, she spent equal amounts of time counting down the days until she could see you again.

loves pda! of course, she can't be hanging all over you in public (she does, for better or worse, have an image to uphold), but that doesn't mean she abstains from touching you entirely. loves holding your hand, linking arms with you, and giving you kisses on the cheek. also has a bit of a habit of touching her nose to yours — "foxian habit," she says.

tingyun absolutely loves cuddling with you. whenever you two are in private, she loves curling up by your side and laying her head on your chest — especially when she's had a particularly stressful day. please pet her ears while she rests on you; it's the only thing that'll help (or so she says).

but she also likes the reverse! runs her fingers through your hair when you lay on her chest or her lap; finds it super cute if you fall asleep like that.

she'll also let you rest on her tail — but only you, because you're just so special. ♡

likes spoiling you and will oftentimes end up buying you things that she thinks you'd like when she's out. jewelry, clothes, foods — anything that catches her eye, she'll buy (and get wrapped up in a cute box) and give you the next time you're together. this goes double for when she visits other planets and gets a chance to sightsee before having to go back to her duties.

has definitely commissioned you a bracelet that matches hers.

likes taking you with her to the sleepless earl for tea when she has a significant amount of free time. she'll tell you all kinds of stories while you share a drink — the most recent planet she went to; the things that happened there and the people she met; the strange train-shaped ship she passed on the way back...

has often thought about taking you with her on her travels; she's also told you as much, as well. if she wasn't worried she'd get in trouble with yukong, she would — so, she makes do with the occasional starskiff ride around the xianzhou alliance.

always seems to find a way to bring you up in a conversation — she just has to tell everyone that she has the cutest girlfriend in the entire expanse of space. she tells you the same thing — that, out of every planet she's been to, that you're the prettiest and most beautiful girl she's ever seen. the words sound just as flowery as anything else that comes out of her mouth, but she truly means it when she says so.

she just loves you so, so much. ♡

[bitchlessdino]

TPC: Seokmin's professional party hosting

Full series

Pairing: boyfie!seokmin x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2.2k

tags: mentions of alcohol, reader with breasts, fondling of breasts, massages, neck kisses, face sitting, oral

Summary: A party host's work is never done, even with seokmin's help, and trust me, he's helping a lot.

author note: wrote this horny and on my period i need sex read bad

@iwouldbangchan @1uvlywon @just-here-to-read-01 @candidupped @minnie-mouser22

“Where the hell is Joshua with the beer? He should’ve been here an hour ago!”

You knew better than to trust your friend that admitted to going to a party the previous night before, but Joshua couldn’t have been this stupid. Oh, but he was.

It was a party, no big deal right? Wrong.

It was your party and you were hosting it along with your boyfriend and sibling who left to god knows where. You wanted to prove to other people and yourself that you can be more than a boring college student stuck in the history section of the library (but in your defense what was wrong with that if you were)? Fuck the one demensional mindset of the common college tropes that only really exist in YA novels and poorly written fanfiction.

You expel a frustrated breath out of your lungs and chug the cola in your solo cup, completely emptying it out to pour yourself another full one. Seokmin comes to your side reassuringly, taking care of his significant before they have a complete public freak out when things aren’t going their way by taking your non-cola-chugging hand and stroking the back of it with his thumb. If he could, he’d plan the event all by himself to spare you the unnecessary stress and elevated blood pressure but knowing you, you’d never let him.

“Everything is and will be fine. We still have a couple of cases ‘borrowed’ from Seungcheol’s party yesterday, and everyone is enjoying themselves. Let’s just do the same.”

Easy for him to say. Seokmin could have a good time anywhere. He was the light of every goddamn public event. Bouncing around every corner of every room like a golden retriever yoga ball concoction. You were the complete opposite, pessimistic at every given point, while he exuded a happy easy-going spirit. Maybe that’s why you like him so much. He makes things easy, or at least sounded easy, that you convinced yourself with him around it’d be just that. 

Unlikely because now you were scanning the room for any faces of resentment, broken furniture, and possibly Joshua at the front door with that goddamn beer already. You’re grumbling to yourself thinking maybe you should’ve assigned all the tasks to yourself, at least you can promise yourself you’d get it done. Some things were better off done by yourself, you’d say. Never trust a dumb frat boy to get party supplies, you remind yourself. They’re only thinking of themselves. He better be caught in a ditch somewhere or you’ll have his guitar-playing head ass on a stick.

You were not the only one to hear your bitter ramble amongst the unaware 20-something crowd and he’s forced to tug you away from the center of the room. You take notice and nudge back at him in annoyed confusion, quietly protesting in whispers, not trying to cause a scene, “Seokmin, what–”

“I’m getting you out of there you need a break.”

The clusters of party guests become a blur as he pushes past several shoulders and reaches your room at the end of a sparse hallway. The moment the door opens it’s shut once it’s clear you're alone in the comfort of your thoughts. Seokmin exhales in relief, padding away to your bed where he pushes you down in a sitting position.

You shut your eyes, running your brows in a furrow, and dramatically sighing for him to understand the predicament he’s putting you in. “Why are we here? We’re hosting remember?”

He takes a seat beside you, pulling you closer to the center of the mattress, and places himself behind you, hands coming down on your shoulders in a firm yet reassuring squeeze. “Just take a breather, you need this.”

“Should I? Every second I’m in here, it’s every second I’m not out there. Who knows what kind of shit could they be…” you sputter a breath of numbingly good relief as Seokmin worked in your knots, the balls of his palms digging to your back as if he’s kneading dough, “fucking…up…”

“That’s right, relax. That’s what I’m here for.” He presses kisses against the apples of your cheeks and slowly, sweetly trails down to the base of your neck. “Clear…your…mind.”

His kiss leaves a hot trail of awareness on every patch of skin he makes contact with. Your head falls back in savoring it, a low hum vibrating throughout your throat and leaking out the small crack of your lips. Your eyes shuttering to a close and your shoulders slumping, you focus on the warmth Seokmin radiates onto you that only enhances the relief he’s spreading to your sore, tired limbs. You nod your head in a daze, physically melting into a puddle.

“Mmm, better?”

You hum in confirmation, feeling more than just your muscles loosen. Your once clenched legs part from one another and you feel the threat of your arousal as it makes it past your folds, staining your underwear. You would stop him at this point before it went too far knowing about the hordes of people behind that very door, but his hands felt magical, and in no way did you want it to end.

“Mmm, Seokmin…”

The kind man smiles against your skin, letting his teeth graze your neck and let his hands fall to roam against your sides, still placing pressure, digging his digits hard into your flesh. His teeth climb up and up, reaching your ear lobe, a exhale leaving his nostrils that pebble goosebumps on your arms and neck. “You’ve worked so hard for weeks. You need a reminder that you should be enjoying this party too.”

You gasp as his tongue licks a patch of skin and his hands come together up the front of your chest, handfuls of your breasts in his hands with the fabric of your clothes and bra as a barrier. His deep chuckles burn your skin, collecting you in his heavy-handed grasp, collecting bundles of your flesh like he means to massage the entirety of your body. No inch of your body would go untouched. “Shouldn’t we be outside for that to work…?”

You were aware you were slurring your words, but Seokmin being the expert easily translates the jumble in his head and he pressed his firm chest deeper against your back to the point to can trace the outline of every nipple, every pec, every muscle packed ab in the lean yet toned fixture of his torso. “I can’t be in public for what’s about to transpire in this bedroom unless that’s what you’re looking forward to?”

“Seokmin!” you exclaim, turning your head but he captures his lips the moment you do, swallowing the moan that impulsively escapes you. He pushes you into the cushion of the sheets and freely holds you, embraces you, and touches you, anywhere he wanted to.

He licks your bottom lip, squeezing it between his lips, and with squeeze the cups the curve of your ass, and he’s able to taste the coke zero you decided to drink instead of alcohol on your tongue. Your fingers curl up his hair, panting against his mouth, deepening the kiss as his hips meet yours in a blind horny haze.

“Should I make you relax? Should I do the thing you like?”

You whimper hearing his offer and your sex-filled head soars great heights at thought of it. The dark shift of his eyes, his hair was a sexy ragged mess, and his arms–god his arms–bulging as they flex in view. The image had you grinding up into his erection, your back coming up in a perfect arch, and before your logical tendencies came up, you’re whispering anguished, “Yes, god yes…”

He smiles again, now only more sinister, “Alright. Come on. Sit on my face.”

You jump up on your knees gingerly and watch as he gets into a relaxed position. Meanwhile, your hands are finding the clasp of your pants, tugging them off of you with your underwear quick to follow. You move over to him, taking short excited breaths before one knee meets the other side of his head. You glisten a gorgeous sheen, one that’d glossy, vicious, knowingly delectable in his mouth. Seokmin sighs in contentment, licking at his lips in anticipation.

“I’ll never get over how pretty you look with your pussy right in my face.”

You hold up your flustered cheeks in your hands, shutting your eyes as you internally squeal.

“Don’t do that. Your face is part of the view.”

A loud pound to your chest. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Now come here.”

You let your hips fall naturally, hovering over his mouth, meeting your hot, wet slit as he steady your thighs with his reliable hands. His eyes stay open as they lock with yours, ensuring you watch as he engulfs in your scent, your taste, your god-gifted warmth that you have bestowed upon him that makes him feel like he’s on top of god damn fucking world. Your folds hug his wet, pink muscle, and you could feel yourself already squirm as he makes his rounds, sweeping it over inside and outside every sensitive part of your core.

His name is delicious in your mouth, drool escaping out of the corner of your lips, your hands run in the tufs of his hair, staring down at this wonderful man that knew just what you needed at just the right time. His arms come around your legs–incoming the fat and strong flex of his arms (god fuck)–lowering on him, latching himself on your pussy in an aching attempt to taste deeper inside you. Like a rope attached to your chest, your torso pulls forward. Your eyes flutter at the pure carnal movement of his lips and you groan, your hips moving against his mouth in rhythm to him.

“Fuck…Seokmin, your mouth…”

You can’t form real sentences when it came to this side of Seokmin, but it’s not like he was listening. The nectar that seeps out of you was impossibly addictive, mind-numbing, and trance-inducing. He’d inhale you like oxygen, lost in the divide that separates himself from any other men you’d interact with. 

This pussy was his and only his.

He lowers the surface of his face and you feel the structure of his infamous nose, dragging the perfect tip over your clit and digging through your folds much like his tongue. He presses his face up against you, willingly suffocating himself to appreciate you to his highest capabilities with no fear of consequence. He doesn’t care if he loses sight. He doesn’t work about the strain in his neck after lifting his head up to meet your walls. Nor does he care who’s listening or possibly watching. This was his time–your time. 

Oh fuck it. He wanted this. And knowing you, you’d enjoy it.

His moans vibrate between your walls, your name like a spell enters you like you’re being fucked with the thought of his worship. Your legs grow weak, feeling ready to come down at any moment. You were already so close. Moisture escaping your legs, you shake in confirmation, waves of euphoria hitting you over and over again. You rasp his name in the air and finally, it's something he can hear, and he can tell it’s happening with the taste shifts.

What’s essentially clear, almost like nothing, gets savory in his mouth and it’s exactly what he’s been waiting for. He laps in you harder, firmer, clutching your legs around him like safety bars, nodding into you, in demand for more. So much more.

Your face contorts in pleasure, that familiar tension in your stomach comes back its about time to end, but your body yells at you otherwise. “S-Seokmin…I came…”

“One more…for me…take it…for me…”

Harsh stripes lick up anxiously over you, his fingers coming down on your clit to rub swirls into the bead. Your moans get only louder in response, the sensitivity from coming once mere seconds ago not dissipating. You grind down harder, faster, even bouncing on his tongue for a more stimulating second round, and Seokmin drinks in every second, every minute until you’re doubling over again saying his name in the incomprehensive way you do. 

You flood his mouth once more. His nose, his face, his chin, his neck is covered in a layer of thick, gorgeous release and you finally pull away from him, witnessing the pussy drunken smile stretched over his face from having the best goddamn meal of a lifetime. He’s sweating all over despite having only the job of laying flat on the bed while he devours you. His chest comes up and down rhythmically catching his breath, but it’s not long before he pulls you down, having you taste how he made you feel on his tongue. 

His arms and legs cocoon around you, locking you in his embrace as he defiles your face with the mess he’s made. You chuckle into his kiss, somewhat tired, yet completely at peace. He always knew what to do. You don’t appreciate that enough.

“Thank you,” you say in a hushed voice.

A low groan escapes him. “Anytime. I’ll eat your pussy anywhere and anytime for you. Just remember to relax. Or I’ll be forced to show you more of a good time, and it won’t matter what room we’re in.”

[eriexplosion]

Pushing through one last one tonight to get through Truth and Consequences.

Omega having learned meditation from Gungi is so wholesome actually. Also Gonky's gentle honking as he walks back and forth.

I love this moment between Omega and Echo and honestly I wish we got more of them. Echo saying why they joined, how this was where they fit and where they were needed. I'm such a fucking sap that I need wherever the batch ends up to still be where Echo fits, I just want everyone to be together and happy my god.

I love the camera angle of Riyo looking at everyone and then sharply down to see Omega. "Hello!!!"

There's something I want you to see and it's the dead clone. Omega looked so excited up until that exact moment.

Oh golly gee I'm so glad we get to see something neat and cool hope it's not a goddamn corpse.

Honestly Omega has amazing faces this episode. Her UTTER DISGUST at Rampart in the senate halls for example.

"Which one belongs to the clones?" OMEGA GETS TO LEARN ABOUT STRUCTURAL INEQUALITY TODAY.

HALLE BURTONI! I'm excited to meet her again, she's absolutely the worst person alive but I enjoy her.

She literally just went WELP PLANET'S GONE GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE. WHAT A RELIEF.

Omega literally cares more about Kamino than Burtoni does. And she deserves to be angry more honestly, she gets jerked around a lot (including in this episode - the way they DON'T TELL HER ECHO IS GOING TO LEAVE UNTIL IT HAPPENS)

"Help's hard to come by these days" and Echo clearly makes their decision right there. It's the way that they didn't come here expecting to split from the batch but they hear that they're Needed and have such a hard time staying away at that point, especially when it's coming from Rex.

"He's still not better with heights?" Rex sounds so sympathetic like oh he knows u were working on that is it not coming along?

TEEEEECH?

Tech and Echo both plugging in at the same time, pictures of teamwork.

Plan 14, 5, AND 86. Just start stringing plans together like it's math class.

NOTHING SAYS FUCKING COVERT MISSION LIKE WHAT THEY'RE DOING WITH THIS SHIP.

It's fucking stealth you see.

"I was off by 6.4 meters. Not my best :/" I love him

I will say that this was a great midseason twist that they absolutely fucking won they completed the mission perfectly they got the evidence and aired it in front of everyone and Palpatine came in and in two seconds he twisted it around to serve what he wanted. Like, that's some GOOD SHIT.

Why does his pod have fucking tornado sirens tho

God no wonder Echo feels like they HAVE to keep getting clones out, they feel like it's partially their fault that the legislation got through.

Also the way that they've clearly talked about this and didn't tell Omega is just. Still so much. I'm still thinking about "remember what I said" from Hunter, what does it refer to, is it from all the way back in the TCW arc or did he say something offscreen that we won't find out until it's significant?

"It's not forever. I'll be back." AND THE HUG. THE HUGGGGGG. MY HEART IS SOFT AND SENTIMENTAL I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER.

THE FINAL SHOT OF THE SHIP LOOKING SO MUCH LIKE LEAVING CROSSHAIR BEHIND ON KAMINO. AND THEN OMEGA INSIDE. THANKS DIDN'T NEED MY HEART.

[kaontic]

*Takin’ a stab at this cuz about time I did—*

🦁 Emperor of Destruction, King of Beasts and Guardian Spirit of Paradise 🦁

Or, um, in other words, here’s Megs’ holoform as a shishi:

See? I’m not biased for Megatron over Optimus. I didn’t even color him in all the way. 😅

(Which is totally not because I’m scared of messing up the outlining. That’s potentially demoralizing fr…Maybe I’ll try anyway later idk)

Cliffjumper: >:(

Me: Um...you guys are probably wondering about some stuff— 👀💧 *Clears throat*

*In the tone of Barbs from Geography Now*

What is a “shishi”? 👋

What are the flowers he is holding?

Well, as the poem one Kabuki dance abides to puts it:

“As the peony is the king of a hundred flowers, so is the lion the chief of a hundred beasts.”

Hence the association.

Reflector: You better put a source for that.

Me: I KNOW— 😭

Renjishi (Two Lions) is the name of that Kabuki dance. There’s another dance (and other versions of that dance), but we’ll get to that if you’re interested of course. ;)

Btw, the dancer above, Yukimasa Futamura of Miyabiya? He’s awesome.

He wasn’t even the one that convinced me (that was Onoe Kikugorō VI), he just reaffirmed it because WOW DO THEY LOOK SIMILAR— O_O

Someone (i really wish I remembered their post 😭) noted how Megatron has one of the most human-like face plates out of everyone (and ironically so)

Idc what anyone says, they were on-target (yes that pun was intentional).

Oh wait, he’s not “human” after all, is he? Riiiiight… 🦁

(You know he would try to make that excuse lol)

Ok ok ok, last question—

Is a shishi good or evil?

I mean, their purpose, whether in China (as these specific Kabuki dances are based off of Chinese legend. Renjishi even takes place on a holy mountain in China, with the shishi guarding the bridge to Buddhist paradise), Japan or other countries, are to protect important (usually religious) locations and ward off evil spirits.

Yeah, in the other major dance Kagami Jishi (Mirror Lion), a servant girl named Yayoi, working in the shogun’s palace is influenced and gets possessed by a shishi via a lion mask, and dragged off-stage due to the shishi chasing 2 butterfly spirits, but ya know…

Cats will be cats. :)

The same actor that plays Yayoi will even return as the (male) shishi to dance with the butterfly spirits.

What happens to Yayoi in the end tho? Um—

She’s fine. Probably. Maybe (just me speculating, this has nothing to do with the actual performances) she gets to spend the rest of eternity as the lion’s hostess. 👀

Is there more to the dances? Oh yeah, always. It's Kabuki, an intricate and detailed art form requiring huge skill that everyone should check out.

I didn't even mention the son character in Renjishi and his significance.

Furthermore, are there other Kabuki characters (especially villainous) that would fit Megs? Yep.

There was literally this one noble, Togashi Saemon from the dance-drama Kanjinchō, who was so impressed by how far his enemy’s follower was willing to go for his master through deceptive means, that he just straight up let them go.

Even at the cost of his own life because that’s how much trouble he’s gonna get in for that. 😬

Megs notoriously enabling his traitorous subordinates’ behavior even if it’s self-sabotaging? Similar energy.

There was also the provocative (and quite frankly pathetic) governor Kō no Moronō from the drama Kanadehon Chūshingura, who the 46 rōnin came for on their quest to avenge their master, and proceeded to [REDACTED] his head.

Yeah, given our options, so far, he better be thankful that his holoform is a shishi. 😑

It’s not the only holoform he has (any Cybertronian can have several in my AU), but I think it’s a good start.

[archivalofsins]

There's a few things that are influencing my decision to vote Kazui Innocent. His ability to possibly protect other prisoners is not one of those things though and I'm going to explain my reasons along with why that doesn't even factor into it one bit here.

This isn't really a theory but an explanation of my logic.

A lot of my reasoning is based on being an all or nothing type of person. One could call it my bias or aversion but the one thing I hate the most is hypocrites and I try not to be hypocritical myself. So, seeing people "go think of his poor wife" after just coming from everything I saw people saying about Mahiru's boyfriend-

Yeah, no, people can shove that. I'm not interested in being lectured by people who only have sympathy towards victims when it is convenient to them. Then rationalize that behavior by saying there was a difference in the seriousness of the relationship. Mahiru was only dating but Kazui got married. Oh, how scandalous.

I personally see no difference here since both things are still committed relationships. At the end of the day both were bad to their partners and that led to their deaths. This is just my personal bias but how serious the relationship was would not detract from the pain I would feel if someone I was in a relationship with cheated on or hurt me in any way.

Because regardless I put my trust in this person enough to call them my significant other or partner and how they behaved was a breach of that trust that led to me being hurt. Having someone come in and be like, well, it's not like you were married so it's not that bad would simply not make me feel better personally.

Simply tell me the real difference between these two images.

That garnered such wildly different responses.

I am on my knees begging but I've seen how this fandom reacts to things like that already, so I doubt I'll get an answer.

Overall, the lack of sympathy I've witnessed regarding the victims of other prisoners up until this point makes me rather suspicious of this sudden amount of concern for the victim's feelings. When I came on here saying I was about to be heartless everyone should have taken that as a sign. I meant that shit. I saw how Mahiru was doing and said this far before Cat even released.

So, this is in no means a brand-new perspective from me. Because of how I have personally seen other prisoner's victims discussed I simply do not want to go-

"Oh, yeah you're right the victim's feelings matter in this case actually. Those other six before this well those were different."

I didn't see anyone going oh how do you think Haruka's sister felt it's not her fault that their parents are like that, Shidou's patients, or the hat girl one more time to rub it in Futa's face. I can't go back to discussing Mu's victim because of all the shit I saw with that.

Yuno is exempt because people simply assumed her murder was abortion. It depends on the person, but I don't really see a victim there if that's all she did. However, no one was like come on think of her clients or even went back to reexamine that case after the third anniversary art reveal which seems to be the prisoners directly after their crimes.

So, I'm very much in the camp of that's not going to persuade me into voting him Guilty and I don't understand why it's been brought up as a point of concern here and nowhere else. Mahiru is currently sitting at a firm Innocent verdict and these two things are basically the same to me.

So, it's only fair from my point of view that he's Innocent too.

Outside of that I think reducing people voting Kazui Innocent as them simply wanting him to protect the prisoners is a lacking assessment.

Because personally I don't give a fuck if he protects these guys or not. I know that may sound super shocking, but I really don't. Everyone in Milgram is a murderer, they better figure it the fuck out themselves. I mean they figured out how to kill someone before so they can figure out how to defend themselves.

Plus, I'm in a pretty comfortable position because no one I'm really attached to is Guilty right now. People that really care about Mu and Haruka definitely should want Kazui Innocent because those two can't fucking fight. Haruka literally admits to only being able to kill things smaller than him and Mu had to get the jump on her victim and seems oblivious to hostility.

Both are sitting in the Guilty seat right now. So, if Kotoko is voted Innocent again and keeps playing by Milgram's rules she will jump them and not the other Innocent prisoners. Milgram's second trial commencement notice even alludes to this bias being an issue stating,

"Do remember, Milgram allows for sensibility, morality, ethics, legality, preference, taste, or sexual inclination as the basis for judgement. You have done just that in the first trial, and you have my gratitude. Now as we come to the second trial, I'm guessing a new basis for judgement has introduced itself in your mind. You are also human. You can't help but develop attachments to individual prisoners. If you find one Innocent another might be in danger. If you decide to judge one as Guilty it may prompt the other to go in a wholly unexpected direction. In this environment of swirling interests,

Profits

and Losses

Will you all be able to follow the metrics of your own values, and decide correctly Innocent or Guilty?"

This is the reason Kotoko is last because if enough people already have their favorite prisoner's safety secure and the ones that they dislike are guilty it's far more tempting to vote Kotoko Innocent instead of Guilty.

Gunsli, how can you feel so comfortable, be so calm despite Mikoto not going on trial yet? Couldn't you be interested in having Kazui Innocent to possibly protect him? If he's voted guilty again Kotoko said she'll kill him how can you be so calm?

Well, you see-

"When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game but you don't get a win unless you play in the game. Oh, you get love for it, you get hate for it but you get nothing if you wait for it."

I'm sitting so comfortable because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be able to say,

"I wanted what I got."

If after everything I've written about Mikoto he's still Guilty well that seems like a him issue. I don't cast my votes on a maybe, but other people can. Hell, I'm even willing to bargain for it I'll vote Kotoko Innocent every day of the fucking three-month trial if Amane and Mikoto are innocent first and I think a lot of people feel similarly. To the very end of Milgram selfishly with no limits I want to do what I want to do regardless of how that makes me look.

It's really funny that a lot of the fandom is fretting over the idea of a video game, not recognizing the game has been on for a few years now.

If that outcome happens I'll be upset surely but at that point regular Mikoto is just gonna need to learn how to block, he might need to learn evade too, or to shove something against these lockless prison cell doors so no one can come in whenever they want. Either way he better figure it the fuck out. Because Kotoko may still jump people regardless of what her verdict is.

It's even weirder to pretend Kazui is our only hope when it comes to defending the prisoners. Truthfully, they should all be evaluating ways to defend themselves after the incident anyhow. Especially since it's not like Kazui can be everywhere at once.

Furthermore, Kazui even expresses the possibility that he may be incapable of doing that on his own in his second voice drama.

Imposter Boulevard Kazui's Second Voice Drama

"That much is only natural. However… she really is strong, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve experienced some fights myself, but [going up against] a woman like her was a first."

Hm… Is she strong enough that even you can’t stop her from doing harm?

"Well, in cases like this, it’s generally the heavier person who ends up winning. After all, if she really does have proper killing intent, I can’t afford to let her injure anyone. It’s difficult, isn’t it."

Is that so…

"I was afraid that it’d come to this from the very beginning. There’s a lot of young kids here, too. It’d be hard for anyone to keep a decent mentality in a situation like this."

…You’re pretty rational.

"I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her."

…

"Well, rest assured, though. As long as I can move, I’ll be protecting [the others]. After all, it’s pretty much just me who can fight her on equal terms."

Mikoto, too.

"Ah… yeah. Like back when he went out of control, right? I can’t quite read him, though… If both of them were to attack us, it’s possible that we’d suffer a total defeat."

A total defeat…?

"If that happens, this prison game would probably come to an end as well. All of that depends on your judgment, right, Warden-kun? Who will be forgiven by you and who won’t be…"

Then he stresses the importance of Es' verdicts when it comes to the safety of the prisoners literally asking,

"If at all possible, I would like you to choose a method that will not get any more people hurt. That’s what I’m saying."

So, you’re telling me to forgive you?

"(laughs) Oi, oi…! Don’t look at me like that."

I’m the Warden. If I forgive you, I forgive you. If I don’t, I don’t. There’s no other factors to it.

"(sighs) Wouldn’t it be okay? I mean, this situation with prisoners being hurt wasn’t what you wanted either, was it?"

…

"Just pretend that you’re looking at our sins, and make your judgment with the protection of the prisoners in mind. After all, nobody can read your mind – so that much craftiness would be fine, don’t you think?"

He's not just referring to himself but the other prisoners as well. Es assumes Kazui is asking to be voted Innocent but as it stands now we don't know how restraint will work for the second trial. If Prisoners that weren't voted guilty in trial one would be put under the first level of restraint or if it would jump to the second. Considering how Mu and Haruka are moving around I would assume it's the first level of restraint.

Meaning Kazui would more than likely still be able to move even if he were voted guilty. However, he does specifically say look at our sins, so he is referring to prisoners outside of himself as well while recommending this.

Something that people have literally already done with Shidou.

I know that I only voted Shidou Innocent so he could take care of the injured prisoners we have now and others in case another violent incident occurred. However, a similar thing happened there where people wanted to allude that Shidou being Innocent was bad for Kotoko.

The person I must state again who has jumped people, is in possession of numerous weapons, and can quite frankly protect her damn self.

That's not even going into the fact that Kazui to his continued admission was too slow to protect Mahiru. So, who's to say he wouldn't be too slow when it came to protecting someone else. I don't believe people are ignorant when it comes to this information.

He even brings up how if Mikoto and Kotoko attacked him at the same time he would lose. Something that has been implied as a possibility from the beginning.

20/07/01

Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings?

Kotoko: No.

Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo!

Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

2022/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It's been a while. We were isolated for some time but, how are you doing? Lots of things happened, but for now let's get along. Here, it's your birthday right? I figured that no one would come celebrate it for you, so I came to wish you a happy birthday.

Kotoko: …What a carefree person you are. Someone as atrocious as you won't be forgiven next time too, surely. When that time comes, it'll be your last. Next time, I'll kill you.

Mikoto: Haah? Why don't you try it then, you lunatic. I'll crush anyone who tries to harm me…. I'll make sure to thoroughly beat you at your own game…!!

Kotoko: Hmph. The boundaries have gotten more blurred, it seems. Your existence itself is a crime. I will give you your punishment. This is MILGRAM's, Es', and also my own decision.

I can't speak for everyone all I can say is there are multiple other reasons that someone would want to personally vote Kazui Innocent. For me though I simply want to live with no regrets. So, I try to do what it is that I want in the areas of my life where that is possible. So, I'm gonna keep doing what I feel like.

[doctorwho-rewatch]

S3E6 - The Lazarus Experiment

★★☆☆☆

I'll start with the things I did like about this episode. The concept is pretty sound. Humans have always been trying to find ways of preserving youth, beauty and health and so Professor Lazarus' technology is just a Doctor Who sci-fi take on that.

I enjoyed watching Martha this episode. She's being proactive, she's using her brains (collecting Lazarus' DNA sample) and she stands up for herself at the end, refusing to just be a pretty side piece in the TARDIS. Oh and she has to deal with her concerned-but well-meaning mother. Fireworks.

Aside from that....I think the episode just upped the 'ridiculous factor' a little too much. The CGI of Lazarus-the-Scorpion did not age well at all. And actually, why does unlocking latent/dormant genes suddenly transform a human into a scorpion? That's not how gene expression works.

The Doctor also criticises the human drive to live longer. He has his reasons, of course, which are objectively understandable. But at the same time...this is a 900 year old Time Lord who has lived so many lives and had the opportunity of seeing and experiencing so much. It comes at a cost, yes. But I do think it was a little bit rich for the Doctor to callously dismiss what is a very significant feature of what it means to be human.

And what was with Tish trying to justify being into Lazarus-the-Scorpion??

This was a fairly forgettable episode, I am surprised I had this many thoughts about it.

QUOTE: "I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you. Tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you’ll end up alone."

[sweetmusingss]

Oscar flushed slightly when you congratulated him, shrugging a bit. “I don’t know.. I can just tell that I bore you guys when I talk about work and I didn’t want to gloat about it because it doesn’t feel that exciting to me, I guess. If anything, it just brings a little more pressure,” he said honestly, always being a little more honest with you than he would anyone else. “I don’t feel like my job is nearly as important or interesting as yours, though. There is not a lot to brag about but I promise I will tell you about any future developments,” he said, liking that you seemed so interested.

A couple of weeks had passed and things got a little bit better with Oscar, but not much. He was spending all his free time with Sophie now. She slept over quite often, able to hear her laughing in his apartment sometimes when I’d come home from work and also seeing her leaving in the morning when I was headed out for a run. I hated her. Everything about her, I hated. Katie, Pierre and Lando tried to make me see reason, saying Sophie was nice and sweet, but I couldn’t be swayed. I hated her and no one was going to change my mind. It was Friday and we all had plans to meet at the bar we frequented, and I was running a bit behind. I nearly stopped dead in my tracks when I walked in and spotted Sophie sitting next to Oscar... in my usual spot. We didn’t have assigned seating per se, but we always sat in the same spots. Pierre and Katie on one side, me Oscar and Lando squished on the other. Now Sophie was in between Oscar and Lando, where I normally sat and I wanted to scream. I knew it was an idiotic thing to do, but I quickly pull out my phone, tapping on Charles’ contact and texting him. ‘come to the bar and sleepover after?’ I walk over to the bar instead of heading over to the table, needing some time before facing her and them, getting myself two dirty Shirleys. I was being so outrageously petty, but I didn’t care. We never brought significant others to our Friday night sessions, Charles had never even come to one and he was actually friends with people. I walk over to the table, smiling at everyone in greeting. 

Pierre smiles up at me as I say hello, eyeing my two drinks. “Wow, Nay, that bad a day, huh?” He chuckles, putting his hand on Katie’s thigh under the table and squeezing.

I shake my head as I sit down next to Katie on their side of the booth, it being so fucking weird to face Lando, I was usually always sitting next to him. “Oh no, Charles is coming. I saw Sophie and realized that our no partner rule must’ve been overruled so I invited him along.” I say the words in a sweet sing song voice, but my delivery was full of venom. I can feel Lando’s eyes on me and I could tell that he was looking at me as if he knowing I was a ticking time bomb. I was going to end up exploding. Soon.

__

“That’s okay, baby. I understand having a busy career more than you could ever know.” I kind of liked that we had similar lifestyles. I didn’t want to sound conceited but none of my exes had the level of fame that I did. However, you did and I liked that we could relate to each other. “Sure, only if you are okay with me not keeping my hands to myself,” I smirk at you before taking your hand in mine and following you to your couch.

Max led you over to the couch, dropping down onto it and pulling you down so you were straddling him, smirking up at you, his hands immediately going to your bum and squeezing it through the soft fabric. “I wouldn’t suggest you keeping your hands anywhere else but all over me, baby.” Max could tell you were a bit freaky and kinky and he couldn’t wait to find out what really turned you on, if you’d like his dominance, because he was dying to own you and boss you around and make you his... but he also knew he needed to keep it calm right now. He didn’t want to scare you off. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make out with you every change he got.

[starlightswitch]

Brandon's Girlfriend

(for Writer's Month day 20 prompt different first meeting. AU for my WIP Close for Comfort, if Gabriella made the opposite choice and avoided Brandon's girlfriend instead of seeking her out.)

There’s only one reason I would even think of not going to the funeral home to be there for Brandon.

The reason is that I’m sure his girlfriend is going to be there, and until now I’ve managed not to meet his girlfriend.

It’s kind of amazing, when we go to the same school. Kind of weird that he’s never introduced us. Maybe he thinks we’ve introduced ourselves, since we’re in the same lunch. It has been most of a school year since they started dating.

The reason I haven’t tried to meet her, of course, is that if I meet her I have to acknowledge that she exists.

Which sounds crazy. Of course I know she exists. If she didn’t exist, or at least if she wasn’t Brandon’s girlfriend, I would have told Brandon how I feel about him by now. I hope.

Anyway, I’m going to the funeral home. I have to be there for Brandon. If he breaks up with his girlfriend– which is getting less and less likely the longer they stay together, but it could happen– and I get to tell him how I feel, I don’t want him questioning it because I didn’t show up for him when he needed it.

I get my dad to drive me. On the way we get stuck waiting for a truck to back into a gas station. Waiting does not help my mood. Or Dad’s, when I start tapping my fingers on the windowsill.

When I walk into the funeral home, there’s a little religious ceremony going on, so I wait for that to be over. When it ends, Brandon’s family all gathers in a big group. I’m sure I shouldn’t interrupt them, but I have nothing else to do. Other people are talking. There are some people I kind of recognize from school. Do I go talk to them? I’ve only ever been to a funeral home with my parents, and we talked to the family and then left. I don’t know what to do when I can’t talk to the family.

“Hi,” says someone, and I turn, and it’s Brandon’s girlfriend. Sonya. I should think of her by her name when she’s talking to me.

Brandon’s girlfriend is talking to me.

“I’m Sonya. Brandon’s girlfriend.”

If she doesn’t know who I am… maybe I can do something with that. “I know Brandon from school,” I say, trying to decide if I can give my name or if she’ll recognize it.

“What’s your name?”

Ugh. “Gabriella.”

“Oh. Hi! Brandon’s talked about you.”

I wonder what he said about me. It would probably be suspicious to ask her.

We stand there for a minute, kind of looking in the direction of Brandon and his family. Slowly she says, “I have no idea what to talk about at a time like this.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing except talking to Brandon.”

“What do you even say?” she says, and I’m about to snap at her for a second because I think she’s saying I shouldn’t talk to him and I know that’s the wrong thing to do, but when I look at her and really think about how she said it, I realize she’s sympathizing.

She’s not trying to make me look bad. What am I thinking? She doesn’t know how I feel about Brandon. She thinks I’m just a friend.

“I guess just ‘I’m sorry for your loss’. That’s the usual thing to say.” Though I wish I could come up with something better than that for Brandon, I haven’t yet. And I probably wouldn’t tell her if I had.

“I’ve never really been to a funeral home before,” Sonya says softly. “I mean I guess for my one grandpa, but I was a baby and I don’t remember it.”

She doesn’t know anyone else whose grandparents have died? I think everybody in my grade school friend group had a grandparent die, some more than one, and I’ve been to the funeral home every time.

“It’s got to be hard with the first time being–” I am ridiculous. I can’t even manage to call Brandon her boyfriend in the context of ‘your boyfriend’s grandma’.

“It’s so strange!” she says, kind of sighing. “Everyone else is older, and if they have significant others it’s serious. One was crying one day because he didn’t get a chance to tell her he’s going to propose to his girlfriend. They all knew her before this happened. I’d never met her before she went into the hospital. I didn’t know if I should go when they all went to the hospital because they thought she was about to die. I wasn’t there when she died. I feel like I’m not sad enough–” She looks quickly at the cluster of family and cuts off.

“Well, of course you’re not sad, if you didn’t really know her. You don’t have to be sad. You can just be there for Brandon. A lot of us are just here for Brandon. Or his parents, or whoever we know. Not everyone here knew his grandma.” It seems weird, when I think about it, to be helping her, but I’m not helping her in a way that would make Brandon like her more. I’m just trying to make her feel better, because she really shouldn’t feel bad.

“That’s true.” She bites her lips. “Except I feel like as the person who’s going to everything and not really sad because I didn’t know his grandma, I should be… helping and making things run smoothly. Instead of making things awkward by like, asking if we’re supposed to open the casket and thanking the funeral director.”

“What’s wrong with thanking the funeral director?”

Sonya looks at me like that’s a weird question. “She’s doing her job? They’re paying her?”

“You can thank people who are doing their job. I thank people at restaurants all the time. I remember my mom telling me to when I was a kid. It’s polite.”

“I guess you’re right.” She gives me a fragile smile. “Thanks for being here. And thanks for talking to me, even though you’re really here for Brandon.”

And she doesn’t even know how much I’m really here for Brandon.

But I find myself thinking, to my complete surprise, that if we’d met differently maybe Sonya and I would be friends.

-

2020 day 20: Five Hours (loss)

2021 day 20: Home for a Dog (dog)

2022 day 21: Loving a Local Legend (jealous)

[thylionheart]

This is RIGHT before he starts telling his story of the last ten years at his going-away banquet to the Phaecian court.

Before this, we have seen Odysseus lie to flatter, in order to be pitied, or to increase his image, all so that the king will gift him a ship and send him safely on home. Here’s everything I think Odysseus could have been lying about in Book 9:

We know that the Calypso part is true because it is told to us in a chapter not in Odysseus’ pov. But concerning the rest of it: of course, wife-guy Odysseus could never be tempted. Nope, not even once. How dare you even imply otherwise.

Him calling his men who were drugged from eating the lotus and not wanting to return as “disloyal” and then tying them up sounds like it could have been a thinly veiled mutiny. Perhaps a group amongst his crew did want to stay on some island instead of continuing on this voyage. But this way, it’s not his men’s fault. The dead’s honor remains in tact.

Oh ho, ~Odysseus can bag one more goat than everyone else. Had to make sure you knew that him and his crew were better hunters or more blessed by the gods than everybody else lol (no, I know there is some symbolical significance to numbers in Greek mythology, but I’m too tired to look it up right now).

Carrying on the theme of hospitality… during the cyclops encounter, his men wanted to steal food and run. But it is honorable Odysseus who wants to wait for Polyphemus to return so that they can be granted gifts like proper guests would be. Despite the fact that all of his descriptions of the cyclops leading up to this point describe them as wild, isolated men, unaware of our civilized customs. Famously good-guest Odysseus, sounds just like him.

Just to let you know 1. Odysseus bravely participated in his own plan to blind the cyclops and 2. If anyone asks, the fates did pick the four same men that I would have picked anyways. I would be a bad general if I just ORDERED my men to do this potential suicide-mission.

His story keeps going without an end quotation, so stay tuned for Book 10 where he is probably still lying haha

always the reliably unreliable narrator Odysseus

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LOST EDEN Vol.1 Sakamaki Saga [TRACK 2]

Original title: Malefics, 落ちる場所

Source: Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN Vol.1: Sakamaki-hen

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke & Takashi Kondou

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TRACK 2: MALEFICS, FALLING DOWN (3:00 - 12:50 )

*Twinkle twinkle* 

Reiji: …Hm? Oh dear. A shooting star. How unusual this early in the morning. I believe this might be my first time witnessing one here. I wonder when was the last time I saw a shooting star at all? 

( I believe it might have been back when I was just an innocent, ignorant child. Ever since that time I saw one fall to the edge of the Demon World. Even though it should have been nothing significant, it remains deeply rooted in my memory for some reason. )

…I feel restless. What could this mean? There’s this uneasy feeling in my chest, like waves of anxiety washing over me. 

*Rustle rustle* 

Ayato enters the room. 

Ayato: Yo, Reiji. You’re still up? 

Reiji: That’s what I would like to know. It is rather uncommon for you to still be awake at this hour.

Ayato: Tsk…I couldn’t fall asleep for some reason…Like I just feel really on edge for some unknown reason…There’s no lunar eclipse goin’ on or anythin’, right? 

Reiji: It should still be many more years ahead before the next one. Would you like a cup of tea, perhaps? 

Ayato plops down on the sofa.

Ayato: Nah. 

Reiji: Well then, I hope you don’t mind if I pour myself a cup.

Reiji goes to set himself tea as Kanato enters the room. 

Kanato: Nn…If you’re setting tea, I’d like some as well. 

Reiji: Hm? Kanato…Are you having trouble sleeping as well? 

Kanato: Yes…I’m exhausted, but it feels as if my body just won’t let me rest for some reason…It feels odd. 

Reiji: Oh dear. I did not take you for such a sensitive individual. 

Kanato: You say that, but you can’t sleep either, can you? 

Reiji: Well, I suppose you are right. …Seems like Ayato is having the same issue. 

Kanato: Ayato too? 

Ayato: Che…It pisses me off knowin’ I’m bein’ grouped together with you bastards. 

Laito enters the room. 

Laito: Pwaaah…Nn…

*Rustle* 

Laito: …Hm? Oh? Reiji, Ayato-kun and…Kanato-kun? What has all three of you gathered here this early in the morning? 

Ayato: Laito. You too? 

Laito: Hm? ‘Too’? I just so happened to wake up though. 

Reiji: At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the remaining two wake up and join us as well. 

Laito: …What are you talking about? I’m not following. 

Kanato: For some reason, we all ended up here together because we can’t sleep.

Laito: Eeh? What do you mean? That could easily be a pure coincidence, no? We all follow a similar sleep schedule after all.

Reiji: However, it is early morning right now. Usually, we would all be sound asleep. And you rarely ever get up before I come to wake you, correct?

Laito: Hmー Well, I guess you have a point. This might be a our ‘first time’~

Ayato: Disgustin’...

Kanato: Reiji…Please set some tea first. I’m thirsty. 

Reiji: Pfft. Yes, yes. I know. 

Reiji goes away to set tea. 

*TIMESKIP*

*Cling cling* 

Reiji: Oh dear, oh dear. I suppose my prediction was spot on after all. 

Subaru: Ah?

Shuu: Haah…

*Thud* 

Reiji: Looks like we’ve got everyone gathered here today. 

Shuu: This has to be the first time I can’t fall asleep to Rachmaninov. 

Subaru: Che…I just woke up for some reason. 

*Thud* 

Reiji: Please refrain from taking out your frustrations on your surroundings. You better believe you will have to pay for anything you break. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Anyway, where is she? Chichinashi, I mean. 

Laito: If she isn’t here, then she’s probably snoozing in her room, no? 

Shuu: She sure has some guts while we’re here having a hard time because we can’t sleep…But well, I guess she isn’t back in tip-top shape again after sustaining such severe injuries. 

Ayato: …!!

Kanato: …She doesn’t show any reaction to it. Which means that whatever is taking place only affects us Vampires. 

Reiji: That might be the case. Ever since Father disappeared, the Demon World has been thrown in disarray. Anything could happen right now. 

Ayato: …

Laito: A certain someone who inherited his powers fled to this world after all~ 

Ayato: Haah!? Excuse me!?

Reiji: Laito. Please do not test his patience. 

Laito: Nfu~ Sorry~ 

Ayato: Che…!

Reiji: Anyway, it is possible that someone malicious has entered this realm from the Demon World, causing our reaction. 

Subaru: And who would that be then? 

Reiji: It could be either a blood relative or someone who’s after Father’s powers. 

Shuu: I got a message from my Familiars that there’s a bunch of pesky Demons who have got their eyes on those powers because they were inherited by Mr. Irresponsible over there. 

Subaru: Those fuckers…I can’t believe I’m havin’ my precious sleep ruined ‘cause of them. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: I’ll go make quick work of them!

Kanato: We’ll be counting on you to do that if necessary, so please. 

Ayato suddenly gets up from his seat. 

Reiji: Ayato? What’s the matter? 

Ayato: I’m goin’ back to bed, duh. 

He leaves the room. 

Shuu: Hmー …I guess he’s got plenty of things to feel conflicted about after all. And here I thought he was just some brainless idiot. 

Subaru: Hah? What are you saying all of a sudden? 

Reiji: Ayato was behaving out of the ordinary, don’t you agree? 

Subaru: That’s nothin’ new, is it? 

Laito: Oh geez, Subaru-kun~ This is exactly why you get called a kid. There, there~ 

Laito pats his head. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: Don’t touch me! Who are you callin’ a kid!? 

Laito: Fufu~ 

Kanato: I wonder…just how long Ayato intends to stay here. 

Shuu: Who knows. 

Kanato: By inheriting Father’s powers…Ayato became the Vampire King, right? 

Reiji: Well, I suppose that’s how it works. 

Kanato: Then he has to be over in the Demon World, no? 

Shuu: Obviously. Yet, he has chosen to remain here instead. There’s nothing we can do about it. 

Laito: Ayato-kun might never go back there. After he lost control of his powers and badly wounded Bitch-chan in the process~

Reiji: Power is a double-edged sword. He must learn to overcome that. He is the one who inherited Father’s powers over any of us after all. 

Laito: You really love talking logic and lip service, don’t you? 

Reiji: Would you please stop pestering me simply because you’re frustrated over not being able to sleep? 

Laito: I’m not? …Still, I doubt Ayato will do any of that. I just can’t imagine he’d overcome those issues, let alone try and make those powers something of his own. 

Shuu: Well, you do make a point. 

Subaru: So what are we gonna do now?

Shuu: We’ll just let things proceed as normal. Who cares about what happens around us. It’s no concern to us, is it? 

Laito: Exactly. It’s over. Everything. …The sovereignty over the Demon World might just be stolen away by someone and because of Ayato, Vampires will lose their place there. 

Reiji: Well, judging by his reactions earlier, I do believe that he is worried about it. I suppose we have no other choice but to place our bets on him. 

Laito: I personally wouldn’t mind whether us Vampires fall into ruin or not. 

Shuu: Come on, we all know you want him to annihilate the Vampire race, so don’t spout that kind of nonsense now. 

Laito: Nfu~ Oh geez…Why would I want that? 

Shuu: I wonder. 

Kanato: Either way, I don’t want to get involved in this mess. 

Reiji: Which means we have to leave it up to Ayato after all. It would be correct to state that the fate of this family is currently in his hands. He was gifted with almighty powers, yearned after by everyone. That is a reality we cannot deny.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[robininthelabyrinth]

JZX/JYL/NHS: JZX is the noble one, trying to make the Jin Sect a better place. JYL is the strong one, in a quiet but significant way. NHS is the gremlin monster who will destroy anyone who even looks at them wrong. (Bonus for Jin Ling ! )

ao3

They’d agreed, at some point after they’d found out that Jiang Yanli was pregnant but before the birth, that they would raise Jin Ling themselves.

Jin Zixuan had the bitter experience of how it was like being raised in Lanling City, shuffled between an endless array of nursemaids that were dismissed as soon as he showed any inclination to favor them out of fear that they might later use that connection to manipulate him, only seeing his mother when it was convenient for her; Jiang Yanli had her brief memories of a few warm early days when her parents had tried despite their differences to come together to raise first her and later Jiang Cheng, only to eventually decide to hand them over to nursemaids and the like as they grew more and more estranged, only for it all to fall apart entirely later on and end up leaving the work of raising them to – well, Jiang Yanli herself.

Neither of them wanted that for Jin Ling. They wanted better.

Unfortunately, such a decision was easy to agree to, but hard to implement. As the heir, and an accomplished war hero, Jin Zixuan had enough sway to be indulged in his whims (as everyone else in Lanling saw it) when he demanded to raise Jin Ling without the assistance of a myriad of nursemaids, but he wasn’t excused from any of his duties, and Jiang Yanli was the same, always being pulled in a dozen directions; whether she liked it or not, she was now a key part of the social scene and also being groomed to manage the extensive household – she had a lot to do, and little time to do it in. To add taking care of Jin Ling, who was not an easy child, on top of that…

They loved him dearly, loved him more than anything. They didn’t want to hand him over to some nursemaid that had undoubtedly been paid bribes by both of Jin Zixuan’s parents, and maybe worse, to whisper all sorts of who-knows-what into his ear from a young age. But they were barely even sleeping, at this point, and he needed someone during the day, when they had to work, and there was paper work and people and meetings and Jin Zixuan’s mother was getting less and less subtle with her offers to send a nursemaid to help, asking if there was some reason they weren’t willing –

“So I heard you have a problem,” Nie Huaisang said, lounging by their window with Jin Ling in his arms.

Jin Zixuan blinked at him blearily. He was pretty sure he hadn’t seen a visit from the Nie sect on his schedule for the day, but at this point he was so tired he couldn’t be sure. They’d had to agree to the nursemaid today, much to both his and Jiang Yanli’s disappointment; there simply was no other way. But there was no nursemaid here – only Nie Huaisang.

“Uh,” Jin Zixuan said intelligently. “What?”

“I’m terribly bored,” Nie Huaisang informed him. “So I came to play with your baby. You don’t mind, do you? Oh, Jiang-jiejie’s in the other room. You should go talk to her, she can explain everything.”

That sounded appealing, so Jin Zixuan allowed himself to be shuffled into his bedroom where Jiang Yanli was not, in fact, waiting to explain things to him, but was rather fast asleep in bed.

It looked exceptionally appealing.

Not just because she was beautiful, although she was, but because she just looked so incredibly comfortable. Just – gentle, and soft, and content, and…

He was curled up beside her and fast asleep before he knew what was up.

When they both woke up, much, much later, they blinked at each other and smiled: they’d been tricked, and very thoroughly, too.

“Do you know what he wants?” Jin Zixuan asked, and Jiang Yanli shook her head. “He must want something.”

“Probably,” she agreed, and tucked her head under his chin. “But he’s safe. You know?”

Jin Zixuan did know. He’d attended the Cloud Recesses at the same time as Nie Huaisang; although they hadn’t been close or anything, he’d still spent enough time with him to think that he had a good read on his personality.

Nie Huaisang, in a nutshell, was spoiled.

Nie Huaisang was self-indulgent and friendly with everyone and as carefree as one could get as the heir to a Great Sect, more carefree than Jin Zixuan had ever thought it was possible to be – he’d been dreadfully jealous of him at the time, possibly more than a little enamored of him, and utterly unable to admit to either of those things. Who wanted to have anything to do with a good-for-nothing like Nie Huaisang, with his weak core and his terrible memory and his complete lack of talent?

(With his brother that loved him unreservedly, his clan that indulged him and worried about him, his sect that defended him against the world without making him prove himself good enough to justify it…)

Eventually, Jin Zixuan reluctantly pulled himself out of bed, and he and Jiang Yanli went out to the main room to talk to Nie Huaisang – who was still there, and still with Jin Ling, and still without a nursemaid.

“Oh, her? I sent her away,” Nie Huaisang said when asked, handing over Jin Ling quite gamely at the first indication they wanted him. “I get nervous when people look at me too long, you know? All those expectations, as if they think I’m going to do something, when of course I’m not going to do anything at all…don’t worry, Jin Ling and I have been getting along great. There’s only three or four things a baby this age needs, and you just cycle between them any time he gets upset until he stops being upset – easy enough for even me to do!”

“I’m not questioning your competence,” Jiang Yanli said, and only her intrinsic and unquestionable niceness could allow her to say that the sentence and have it come out as if she were sincere and not teasing. “But why would you want to watch him without the aid of a nursemaid?”

Nie Huaisang arched his eyebrows. “Don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” Jiang Yanli said, completely unphased. “But I’m his mother, and A-Xuan is his father.”

“What she’s asking is, why do you care?” Jin Zixuan asked, and then winced when both of them glanced at him, realizing he’d just stuck his foot in it (again) by saying out loud the obvious when both of them actually understood the subtext of what was being said just fine.

“I don’t have an interest, not really,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “Other than maybe getting away from being badgered to train the saber and cultivate more – nag, nag, nag, you know how people are. But…well…do you mind me being blunt, Jin-gongzi, Jiang-jiejie?”

Jin Zixuan felt bizarrely perturbed about the difference in manners of address, and not in the way he thought he was supposed to  - it was a bit more why does she get to be jiejie and I’m stuck as gongzi than it was don’t speak to my wife with such familiarity – but he was pretty used to not understanding his own emotions by now so he just put it aside.

“Go ahead,” he said with a faint sigh. “If you try to talk around the issue, we’ll be here all day.”

Nie Huaisang flashed a grin at him. “All right, then, you asked for it! My Nie sect is known for being straightforward!” And then, before Jin Zixuan had time to worry about what that meant, he continued: “As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only one of the previous generation of sect heirs that had a good childhood. Which is awful, given that all of my parents died or were murdered before I reached the age of seven.”

…straightforward indeed.

“Now, if we’re very lucky, that won’t happen to anyone this time around, but we can’t really count on that,” Nie Huaisang said, carrying on blithely as ever, like some sort of reckless madman who thought he was completely untouchable no matter what he said. Which he possibly was, so maybe he wasn't mad after all. “So I’ve decided that my great contribution to this generation is going to be by supervising everyone else’s parenting.”

“I don’t understand,” Jin Zixuan said, and glanced at Jiang Yanli, who seemed equally bemused.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Nie Huaisang waved his hand idly – Jin Ling, now in Jiang Yanli’s arms, seemed fascinated – and shook his head. “It’s immensely obvious that the two of you want to raise Jin Ling by yourselves because you don’t want to end up with him getting his head twisted around by nursemaids or distanced from his parents. Right?”

Jin Zixuan nodded before he realized that he shouldn’t be admitting to that.

“In response to this implied critique of their own parenting, your parents are doubling down on proving that they were right by loading you up with so many duties that you’ll have no choice but to use nursemaids. Also right?”

This time it was Jiang Yanli who nodded, then shrugged apologetically when Jin Zixuan sent her a betrayed look: he hadn’t realized she’d noticed that it was deliberate.

“Of course, there’s nothing actually wrong with having a nursemaid, only your parents are so mindbogglingly rich and powerful that anyone you hire will undoubtedly be bribed or blackmailed or intimidated into doing what your parents want,” Nie Huaisang said, and Jin Zixuan hadn’t realized he was sharp enough to pick up on any of that. “So what you need, it seems to me, is a babysitter who’s immune to all of that. Right?”

“We couldn’t ask it of you,” Jiang Yanli protested, understanding Nie Huaisang’s meaning a few beats before Jin Zixuan figured out that all those words were little more than a thinly veiled offer of help. “You’re the heir of a Great Sect, Nie-gongzi!”

“Please, like anyone thinks I’ll inherit. Anyway, I’m ‘building relationships with my peers’, aren’t I? That’s a thing sect heirs do – especially when the actual sect leaders hate each other as much as yours and mine do.”

Actually, that raised again the question of how Nie Huaisang had managed to eel his way into Jinlin Tower without it coming up as a diplomatic incident…

“Anyway, it all works out for everyone!” Nie Huaisang continued on, barreling along quite happily like some inexorable barrel full of fireworks that made you wince every time it bounced. “I get to ensure that the next generation is sane, while also avoiding too much work, you get to raise your son the way you want without overmuch interference from your parents, our sects get to have a connection that isn’t reliant on poor san-ge, who himself will hopefully get the hint and take a vacation or something before he completely loses his mind, and the entire cultivation world gets to gossip about something a little less incendiary than Wei Wuxian.”

“But if they’re gossiping about us, my father will never permit it,” Jin Zixuan said. He was sure about that, at least. “He cares about face the most. Look at how he’s reacted to…what did you call it…an implicit critique of his parenting. If people start actually talking about how we’re raising Jin Ling differently from how we were raised, he’ll stop indulging our ‘whim’ and insist we hand him over.”

“Ah, ah, I never said that they’d be talking about Jin Ling,” Nie Huaisang said, beaming. “I was figuring that I could flirt outrageously with both of you in public as a cover. Everyone will be too busy arguing over which one of you I’m pursuing, and whether I’ve succeeded, and what my motives are, to care about anything else!”

Jin Zixuan blinked. “Are you…recommending yourself to us as a kept mistress?”

“Don’t worry about the details, Jin-gongzi – no, it ought to be Jin-gege now, shouldn’t it?” Nie Huaisang leaned forward and patted Jin Zixuan on the cheek. “I’ll manage everything. Anyway, why don’t you give me Jin Ling and go back to bed for a while? I’ll take him down with me to breakfast and shock the conscience a bit.”

He proceeded to pluck Jin Ling out of Jiang Yanli’s unresisting arms and disappeared with a flutter of clothing, pretty as a butterfly and just as carefree.

“What just happened?” Jin Zixuan asked Jiang Yanli, a little desperate. “I just – what happened?”

“I think we have a babysitter,” she said. “And possibly a boyfriend? If that’s something we want. You had that terrible crush on him back then, didn’t you?”

“How did you know?” Jin Zixuan asked, horrified and more than a little plaintive. “Was it that obvious? You – you weren’t even there –”

Jiang Yanli laughed into her sleeve. “Only to someone who was also in the back lines during the Sunshot Campaign, and who was watching you very closely. It started at the Cloud Recesses, then, did it?”

Jin Zixuan put his head into his hands. “A-li,” he said, peeking out through his fingers at her. “You know I would never –”

“I know, I know,” she said. “You’re not your father, and I’d never think it of you. Anyway, he’s not offering it just to you, is he?”

“He’s not offering it at all,” Jin Zixuan pointed out. “It’s just a cover story.”

Jiang Yanli reached out and patted him on the cheek in the same place Nie Huaisang had, making Jin Zixuan blush red. “That’s all it is right now,” she said, and smiled. “If we want to keep him, we’re going to have to make an effort at it, which is just as it should be. What do you think?”

Jin Zixuan thought that he had the best wife that ever could be, that’s what he thought, and also that he was going to take her back to bed for a glorious additional shi or two of sleep. After that, then maybe he’d have some more thoughts, possibly ones about how he liked people who were strong in ways that weren’t obviously and who were nice (and sometimes not-so-nice), and then putting into place a plan to maybe do something about that.

But that was for later.

For now, his son was in secure hands.

It was time to sleep.

[erodasfishtacos]

#HendallReunited

prompt: request was to write broad but to write something angsty

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: language, sexual content, angst

Harry always had issues with saying ‘no’ to people. He never quite grew out of his manners even when he should have.

He said ‘yes’ to way too many things- signing autographs for rude fans and paparazzi, and agreed to way too many things Jeff suggested.

Saying yes to everything didn’t make his life any easier is the thing. Especially when it came to his wife. She was usually left with the aftermath of him being too nice.

The media painted Y/N in a negative light occasionally and so did the fans because she would stand up for Harry and not let him say ‘yes’ to every single request.

She would tell disrespectful fans he’s not signing autographs because of the way they were screaming and interrupting his work.

Harry wished he could do it himself - admired that his wife didn’t give a fuck what people thought about her. He cared entirely too much what the world would think.

The couple didn’t fight about much - no, not really. Normal couple stuff for the most part. But this was the exception, this is where Y/N found most of their turmoil.

Every few months it would rear it’s ugly head and they’d find themselves in the same position over and over again.

This time - it was really fucking bad.

The couple had been staying in their Los Angeles home for the last few months whilst the singer finalized his album and began promotion.

It was boring meeting among boring lunch outings to get all their ducks in a row. Jeff - his manager the main orchestrator.

He was a great manager and a good friend, but it was also business too which Harry didn’t always comprehend.

At the end of the day, Harry was making Jeff millions upon millions of dollars. But Harry didn’t think that way.

**

Harry was in a stuffy conference room at the The Late Late Show to work on the script and ideas for the show. Promo had been nonstop.

He was a bit tired as it was nearly just hitting eight in the morning and he had been up late with you - having some late night loving in the hot tub.

“As for guest - Kendall Jenner,” James Corden’s producer states. All the men agree but Harry is taken aback.

“Why...why would we have my ex-girlfriend as one of my guests?” Harry interrupts, confusion knitting his brows.

Kendall and him didn’t end on a bad note - not at all. They hooked up a few times after their ‘break-up’ but once he’d met Y/N she was understanding when he cut it off.

Y/N wasn’t necessarily jealous of the model, but didn’t love when they’d run into each other at events. She was still overtly flirty with Harry without much shame. 

Harry also didn’t have an desire to see her or host her as a guest on the show. She was nice but he wasn’t interested in being friends with her. They didn’t have much in common and he was head over heels for his wife.

“The media will eat it up, dude. Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner reunited on a show after four years?” Jeff smiles, the others nodding in amicable agreement.

This is one of this times where Harry needs to say “no,” that it’s disrespectful to his significant other to use an old flame for promo for his album.

He already knows ‘hendall’ will be trending within minutes and he can’t imagine how that would make his parter feel.

“I just...this doesn’t seem like a good idea?” Harry begins hesitantly, making it sound more like a question than a statement. 

“Why not?” Eric, one of the writers asks.

“Y’know, I’m married. I don’t think m’missus would appreciate if I did somethin’ like that just for promotion,” he states, scratching at his jaw uncomfortably.

“Look Styles, we’re not asking you to fuck the girl. It just a interview, c’mon,” The executive producer gruffs - wanting those guaranteed views.

Harry swallows - looking at his manager and then at everyone else at the table looking at him for an affirmative answer.

“Uh-sure,” Harry fumbles, feeling anxiety rise into his throat. Fuck, he’s such a god damn pushover.

He’s trying to find his voice to go back on his agreement but the meeting wrapping up and people are leaving with final handshakes.

**

Harry doesn’t know how to tell Y/N what is going on. He’d been keeping in stored in the back of his mind, not ready to have a blowout.

He never found the perfect time to bring it up and now it was too late. It was the morning of the show and he was due to be at the rehearsals this afternoon.

Harry had finally decided he was going to tell her this morning over coffee but forgot that she had a girl’s day planned with a few friends.

She was already out to breakfast with them when he woke up. His phone had one text from you.

Hi baby. I’m out with the girls. See you at the show tonight. I’ll meet you there around six! Love you!

He was fucked royally and he had no one to blame but himself. Maybe it’d be okay, maybe she’d roll her eyes and tell him he’s an idiot.

Realistically he knew that was just a sweet dream at this point.

—

Harry was fidgety and kept mucking up his lines during rehearsal as it got closer to the showtime and his missus arriving.

Kendall had arrived for hair and makeup without seeing her ex-boyfriend yet. He dreaded seeing the model.

Kendall and Y/N had met a few times at different events. It was always cordial. Kendall was always casual - their relationship was never more than a couple fun dates and sex.

They were kind to each other when they met but he couldn’t deny how much harder his partner kissed him on the mouth afterwards.

Before he know it, his wife is hugging him from behind as he talks to a producer about which cameras to look at.

Y/N noticed the way he tensed up at first and thought about how unusual that was for him. Normally, he’d lean back into her with his full weight causing them both to stumble and laugh.

He slowly, cautiously turns around and his face  relaxes a little bit but not completely. “Hi baby,” he hums, leaning in for a kiss.

“You look so handsome,” she replies, admiring his brown pinstriped suit and her pearl necklace that he’d snagged awhile back. She thought it looked better on him anyways.

“You look even better, s’fuckin’ pretty, love,” he gushes, coming back in for another kiss - a little too sensual for the setting.

She was donned in a cropped white shirt, showing of the smooth expanse of her tummy. An oversized blazer of Harry’s, ripped jeans, and heels. 

Harry thought fleetingly he couldn’t wait to fuck her after the show. Then remembered that mostly wouldn’t happen.

Reggie, the musical lead, slides up to you two. He smiles wide at you, saying, “Can’t believe you agreed to the guest this evening.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, Harry’s raise nearly to his forehead, but when she opens her mouth to ask him to explain they’re interrupted.

“Harry!” The leggy model trots over to the little group. Dressed in an interesting one-piece suit that has sewn in heels. She looked beautiful as ever, of course she was a model.

Both of them turn towards the oblivious girl, “Kendall,” Harry replies with a twinge of anxiety - eyes repeatedly looking at his significant other’s profile as multiple emotions flash.

“Hiya, you’re Y/N right?” Kendall smiles kindly, offering her manicured hand.

She accepts, “Yeah, uh-good to see you again.”

Harry knew she had connected the dots quickly in her head. The hurt, confusion, had hit her eyes before narrowing into full-blown rage at her partner.

“I promise I’ll go easy on him,” Kendall jokes before pinching at Harry’s cheek teasingly. The model was a natural flirt with everyone she got along with.

“Oh, sure,” she replies lamely, attempting to not let her feelings burst out in that moment with her husband . She knew it wasn’t Kendall’s fault.

“I’m going to go grab a bite to eat. I’m probably gonna puke when we do ‘spill or fill’. See you guys soon,” the model waves before trailing off with her assistant.

“Did you kn- of course you knew she was your guest,” Y/N seethes, turning to fully face the guilt-stricken-singer.

He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact, “I did.”

“How long have you known for?” She demands to know, keeping her voice at an angry whisper to not draw attention.

Harry wasn’t going to lie to his love, “About two weeks.”

Y/N replies with a laugh, “let me guess, you let Jeffrey talk you into this bullshit, again.”

His silence is all she needs to know it’s true.

“For Christ’s sake, of course,” She huffs bitterly, “what’s even worse is you didn’t fucking tell me. What the fuck?”

Harry bites his lip, not able to rasp out anything but a pathetic, “m’sorry, love.”

He wasn’t usually good at taking responsibility during a fight. He was stubborn at best but he couldn’t deny his way out of this.

“You will be, you-“

They were cut off by the staff, the audience was trailing in and Harry needed to get mic’d up now.

“This conversation isn’t over,” she points her finger at his chest before storming off to the side of the stage where she’d watch from.

Fucking shit.

**

Harry was a performer. It’s easy for him to push things to the back of his mind so he can entertain a enamored audience.

But tonight, he was struggling. Eyes flicking over to the teleprompter more than usual, his demeanor not as vivid and carefree.

Not when his wife was glaring daggers at him from stage right. Her hand constantly at her mouth, biting at her nails - a nervous tick of hers.

“Next up, the one, the only, the beautiful model and one of my good friends, Kendall Jenner!” Harry introduces when she walks out and waves at the crowd.

They hug and when they pull apart they step over to where they were playing the game. Either answer the question or eat a nasty food picked out by the other.

They weren’t allowed to see each other’s questions before the game started- both going on blind which put Harry more on edge.

“Okay, Kendall. Rank the members of One Direction on most to least attractive or you will be eating...” Harry spins the table, “Cow tongue.”

She flinched at the disgusting plate, smirking up at Harry before considering her course of action, “I think I can answer this one.”

He wasn’t looking forward to her answer. Neither was Y/N by the way she nearly shaking her foot off her leg.

“Okay, I got this. You - the most attractive, then uh- Zayn....Louis...Niall...Liam,” she laughs, “but all of you are hot!”

Harry fake laughs and acts like he’s impressed by her answer as the crowd roars and cheers. 

When Kendall picks up her notecard - she laughs in surprise at the question before looking at him with bright eyes.

“Okay, um, bull penis!” She giggles before starting the question, “I’m dying to know this answer. So...your first album HS1 was released four years ago, correct?”

He nods, apprehensive.

“Which songs were about me? Especially was only angel?” She laughs at Harry’s pale expression before without another thought he shovels the rancid food into his mouth.

Harry looks off to the side to see that his missus is no longer sitting there. Just Jeff - who gives him a thumbs up.

**

The first thing he did when the show ended and the lights dimmed was bolt off to Jeff - ignoring Kendall who was about to say something to him.

“Where’d Y/N go?”

He thought she might have went out to get a breathe of fresh air but for the next hour and a half he hasn’t seen her once.

“She said she wasn’t feeling very good. She told me to tell you she’d meet you at home,” Jeff shrugs unbothered.

“Damnit!” Harry curses loudly, ripping out of the microphone and the little pack in his back waistband.

“Harry,” Jeff scolds at his unprofessionalism that was abnormal for him.

“No! Don’t fucking ever ask me to do shit like this again. You fucking knew what questions were on those notecards and you said it wasn’t anything about our previous relationship.”

“Harry-“

“Don’t fucking talk to me. You’re a real shit manager sometimes, you know that? Do not contact me tonight or tomorrow for that matter, you douchebag,” Harry barks before storming off towards the dressing rooms.

All the employees were standing around in shock, staring at the popstar as he ignored everyone around him.

Harry was famously known for being a kind, amicable guy. So it took everyone by surprise to hear him speak like that. Even Jeff was shaken up a little.

—

The house was pitch-black as Harry pulled up. The house’s first floor was lined with large, bay windows and not a single light was on.

He could find one room illuminated which was your bedroom. A dim side lamp must have been flicked on. He imagined her purposely turning off all the lights on the trek up the staircase.

Harry didn’t want to admit how much he was trembling with awful nerves and anticipation as he slowly turns the knob of the shared bedroom.

Y/N wasn’t laying in bed as he expected but found the bathroom door shut tightly. He noticed a little yellow bag with tissue paper off to the side by a dresser.

He knocks on the oak door, not daring to enter without permission.

“What do you want?” Y/N answers, tone flat and emotionless. 

“Can I come in, baby? Please...” He wasn’t ashamed to beg for forgiveness at this point. Hearing the emptiness in her tone scared him shitless.

“I really could care less,” She replies coldly from her spot in the scalding water decorated with bubbles.

Harry had never felt more unsure in his life as he enters the bathroom.  Y/N had gotten proper pissed at him or vice versa before - right before a concert, an award ceremony but she’d never left without him.

Her head was laying against the foam headrest and her body was covered by the soap water. She looked tired and her eyes were puffy from crying.

Harry kneels next to the tub, “look at me, please pet.”

 Y/N takes a moment before turning her head and opening her eyes. They were distant, disappointed in the man in front of her.

“I should have told you about Kendall. I should have put up more of a fight to get someone else on instead,” Harry admits, his hands desperately wanting to reach out for her.

She shakes her head with a heart-wrenching sniffle, “it’s not just tonight, Harry. We’ve had this conversation continuously for three and a half fucking years. You try to please everyone, despite them giving no fucks about you.”

“Are you that much of a pushover? You let your ex-girlfriend flirt with you in front of millions. Do you know how embarrassing and unfair that it to me?” She wipes at her eyes to stop the tears spilling over.

Harry hadn’t thought of it like that - to be honest. But he agrees, it wasn’t fair and downright cruel to do that to her.

What? All because he couldn’t say ‘no’ because he didn’t want people to be mad at him? It was pathetic and ridiculous.

“I-I won’t let it happen again, lovie. I mean it, I truly do,” Harry whimpers reaching over to cup her cheek and wants to cry when she pushes him away.

“You’re a broken record. You’ve said that a million times before but don’t change,”  Y/N points out, eyes boring furiously into his wife’s.

“I’m goi-“

She cuts him off with a sharp edge in her tone, “Just leave me alone, get out.”

The man’s face crumbles and for a second, she wants to just end the fight and makeup but then nothing would change.

“Baby-“

“Get out!” She finally bellows, tears streaming down her face steadily.

He obliges, head hung in defeat as he closes the door behind him. He stands there’s blankly for a second before going to the walk-in closet.

He’s pulling out a fresh pair of cotton underwear and a large sleepshirt for his partner, laying them neatly on the bed.

Harry doesn’t know what to do with himself while he waits so he pulls out his phone to mindlessly scroll.

He throws it against the wall when he sees #hendallreunited is trending number one on Twitter at the moment.

The singer strips down to his briefs and sits with his back against the tufted headboard, staring blankly at the wall.

His eyes catch a neon pink pair of his swimshorts tossed carelessly on the decorative vase in the corner of the room from the night before .

“Fuck, baby - no need to rush,” Harry groans into Y/N ‘s mouth as she pushes him until he’s sat on the edge of their California king.

She reaches impatiently for the tie on his neon pink swimshorts and yanks them off his slim, peach-fuzz thighs before throwing them onto the vase without a care that it was worth over twenty-thousand pounds.

After edging her in the hot tub with his fingers and mouth, she wasn’t waiting any longer before clambering onto his lap, pulling her swim bottoms to the side, and sinking onto him.

He felt guilty when his cock twitched at the thought of it. But when reality set back in, the arousal with the memory evaporated.

It isn’t much longer until the door is pulled open and  Y/N’s padding into the room with a towel secured around her.

She looks at the clothes Harry set out for her and pointedly walks past them to pick out her own nightwear. 

That really shouldn’t make his eyes tear up as he watches her slide on a similar pair of panties and an oversized shirt. Spotting a purpling bruise on her upper in thigh from his mouth.

 Y/N silently walks past the bed and to the bedroom door, looking back before bleakly stating, “I’m going to sleep in the guest room.”

He frowns, wrinkles appearing on his forehead, “You can sleep in here, love. I’ll take the guest room.”

Harry doesn’t get a reply as she just shakes her head and closes the door loudly behind her. 

It’s just - he’s never seen her this upset. She was usually fantastic at communicating her feelings and hashing things out.

She wasn’t one for the silent treatment or ignoring the topic. It had his chest rising faster than usual with anxiety. The serious of it overwhelming him.

He states at the wall for a very long time without wiping the fat tears brimming over his trembling lips.

*

He couldn’t sleep - it was half past three and he hadn’t even laid down or clicked off the lamp.

Harry accepted sleep wasn’t coming so he begins to tidy the already clean room. He picks up the shorts and tossing them in the hamper.

He refolds some joggers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer and when he went to move the little yellow bag - curiosity got the best of him.

There was no card and he wasn’t sure who it was for or if it had been a gift already give to Y/N that she had returned home with.

Harry really shouldn’t - but he does. Gently tugging out the paper and reaching in to feel fabric.

Pulling it out, it takes him a minute to identify what it is - two baby onesie. Who was having a baby?

He lays them in front of him, eyes widening in surprise as he reads what is printed across the black cotton.

The first one was the colors and font of his upcoming tour merch with the photo he used on his tour announcement with the heeled boot and white pants.

Love on Tour - Due Date: September 2025

With Special Guest Appearance from Baby Styles

The second one was simple and read across the chest:

I’m having your baby (and it is your business) with embroidered kiwis all of over it.

He frantically reached back into the bag to pull out a bundle of pregnancy tests tied with a silk bow.

They weren’t necessarily trying for a baby but they’re weren’t not trying either. Harry wanted a baby as soon as his missus was willing to give him one.

“No, no, don’t one,” she’d whined into his mouth when he’d reached over to grab a condom off the nightstand.

“Oh sweet thing, you want me bare? Fill you up?” He croons happily, coming back to grip at his thick base and tease at her entrance.

“Ye-yeah, H. Please,” (Y/N) whimpers, bucking her hips in the hope he’d slip inside her.

Harry hums, “Might give you a baby though, y’want me to knock you up?”

“Want it, wan-“

He cuts her off with a hard, blissful kiss as he thrusts all the way inside before pulling out to do it again. 

“Gonna give it to you, whatever you want, lovie,” he promises.

The two had never used protection afterwards. It had start about seven months ago and from his knowledge she’d still been getting her periods regularly.

Occasionally, he would palm at her flat tummy and pout, “Haven’t put a baby in you yet, ‘ave I?”

He was so ecstatic but disappointed in himself for ruining everything and pleasing everyone other than who he should be.

Harry needed to fix this. He didn’t want Y/N to lose the excitement of having their baby over a dumb choice of his.

The man’s out of the room and not knocking before entering their guest room. His now pregnant love is laying on-top of the covers.

One hand subconsciously on her belly - which she removes and places next to her when her wife walks in.

The television was on but the volume was low and Y/N wasn’t watching it in the first place anyways.

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, “I opened the yellow bag.”

She looks at him with wide eyes, a little taken aback. she was going to surprise him tonight and forgot to store it away for another time after the fight.

Harry has happy tears dribbling down his cheeks, “you’re having my baby?”

Y/N nods, running a slight hand through his curls. She still had a nasty knot of anger and uncertainty in the pit of her stomach.

It pains her, wanting to share this moment of excitement with Harry but she just couldn’t. The uncertainty of whether Harry would put everybody’s needs before his own baby.

“Come back to bed, want t’talk and celebrate. M’so bloody excited,” Harry murmurs, a large smile decorating his face as he smooths a palm over the expanse of her tummy.

His wife shakes her head and places a hand over his, feeling the cold metal of all of them. “I want to be left alone.”

The twinkle in Harry’s eye diminishes to devastation as he realizes that he’s fucked up so badly that she doesn’t even want to celebrate.

“Pet, can...we just forget about it tonight and be happy ‘bout the baby?” Harry asks selfishly, knowing it was unlikely she’d agree.

She didn’t, a firm expression on her face, “no, I have a lot to think about.”

“Like wha’?” He asks anxiously, unknowing of quite the reason she was so furious.

“Like how you say yes to everything and everyone. We talk and talk about how you need to say ‘no’ and do what’s best for you - for us. You agree to and never follow through”

She takes a shaky breath and continues, “it’s affected our relationship before when you’ve had to cancel our vacation away from all this for a charity concert you’d agree to perform at last minute, dinner reservations because you told your friend we’d be at their art showing they wanted you at.”

Harry knew she was right. He did those things. He wanted everyone to be happy with him - to a fault.

“Tonight was just icing on the cake, you allowed your manager to talk you into hosting your ex on that show. Out of all the people in the world - her. With flirty questions and jabs from her. You let that happen. You care about making everyone happy but in return you don’t care how it affects me. That’s pretty shitty.”

“I’m...I’m really fucking scared you’ll do that even when we have the baby. I need you to put them first and right now...I’m not sure if you’re going to. You can’t put the person you want to spend the rest of your life with first now, how do I know you’ll do it with the baby?”

Harry chokes out a sob as he presses his forehead against the bed, his broad shoulders shaking. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried this hard - years ago maybe. He felt like his wife didn’t have any faith in him and he was to blame.

He looks up at her with swollen eyes - at a loss for what to do or say. He loved her so much and was over the moon that they were going to have a baby.

“How do I fix this, darling? You’re right, I really fucked up. M’sorry,” Harry cries, grabbing at her hands and she allows it.

“Just saying you’re sorry won’t fix it,” Y/N replies flatly, letting Harry squeeze and kiss at the backs of her hands.

“Then what do I bloody do to fix this?” Harry raises his voice in frustration, staring in bewilderment at his wife. 

Y/N narrows her eyes at him, “Do not raise your voice at me, Harry. Actions speak louder than words.”

Harry swallows harshly, pressing one finally kiss to her hand. “Okay.”

“Okay?” She repeats.

“I love you, I’ll fix this,” he promises with conviction. He knew what he needed to do and do it tomorrow. So he and his wife could enjoy her new pregnancy.

“I need space tonight, I just...please”Y/N says quietly, rubbing at his shoulder.

It wasn’t the first time they’ve slept in separate rooms because they weren’t getting along but they normally found their way back to each other before sunrise.

Harry nods, lip still tremble with the residual anxiety of the conversation. She allows him to press a soft kiss to her mouth before leaving the room.

—-

Cafe Habana was busy - but no one was paying much attention to Harry and Jeff. It was the morning after and Harry had demanded a meeting over breakfast with his manager.

“Y/N pregnant,” Harry states bluntly after their drinks arrive.

“Oh? Congratulations, dude. That’s exciting!” Jeff leans over to pat him on the shoulder, a big smile.

“The baby is due in September. My next tour starts in next July. The baby will be about nine months. I want to be at home with them for the first year.”

Jeff doesn’t look pleased, “what are you getting at Harry?”

“Reschedule the July and August tour dates. Tack them on to the end of the tour,” Harry lays out flat. 

He hadn’t talk to his wife about this but he knew this was how he could prove that he could say ‘no’ and not be a pushover.

“No Harry. Look I get you’re excited about the baby - but that will be such a fucking hassle,” Jeff frowns, sipping his mimosa.

“I’m not asking, Jeff. I’m telling you that’s what needs to happen,” Harry replies firmly, tone strong and unwavering.

Jeff is definitely taken aback by his client’s conviction. 

“While we’re on the topic, do not ever put me in a situation like you did yesterday. It affected my wife and I. And I will choose her over this career any day.”

The manager nods in surprise, “Harry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking for an apology but if you ever pull something like then I’ll be looking for a new management team. Are we clear?” 

Jeff once again nods, unsure of where this is coming from but at the thought of losing his biggest client would be disastrous so he’d do whatever to accommodate him.

“Consider it done,” he tells Harry before clearing his throat in a slight panic.

—

Y/N woke up to an empty house. She was restless, she asked Harry to prove to her that he could be what she needed. However, it was a bit unfair because she didn’t know how he could do it.

It’s just…she had a baby to think about. They both needed to be put first and if it took a gnarly fight for Harry to realize it...so be it.

“Baby? Love, where are you?” She hears Harry echo through the whole house. She was sat in the kitchen, on a stool by the island, idly sorting through mail.

“In here!”

Harry jogs in, panting like he sprinted from the garage up to the kitchen. He comes to stand in front of the love of his life.

“I might have not completely fixed everything but...I tried,” Harry tells her, cradling her face in his large palms. “ I just got back from lunch with Jeff. I told him about the baby.”

He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I rescheduled tour dates so I can be with you guys at home in London for the first year. Then...maybe you guys can join me after?”

“Harry…” she’s at a loss for words.

“And I told Jeff that if he ever puts me in a situation like that again, I’m firing him.”

Y/N stares at him, in awe and admiration of the man she chose to marry and keep forever. His face was so sincere and vulnerable.

Harry didn’t know whether it would be enough. If it wasn’t he’d keep trying but all he could do was hope. He waited with bated breath as she processed his words.

“Baby, you-for me?” She murmurs as she stands up and crowds into his space. He instantly wraps her up into a tight hug, missing her touch.

“Of course, pet. I’d do anything for you, I mean it. I’d quit this whole career if you wanted tha’,” he tells her truthfully - lips brushing her forehead.

“I love you, so so much,” Y/N murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“We’re havin’ a baby,'' Harry sighs dreamily into her mouth, tongue sliding against hers. A large hand came to palm at her belly.

“Yeah, m‘having your baby,” She giggles as he begins to trail the kisses down her jaw and neck - pressing her into the marble countertop.

“Should we name it Kiwi?” Harry rasps as he slides the tank top strap off her shoulder so his lips can meet the cap of her warm shoulder.

“We are not going to be that celebrity couple who names their baby something weird,” Y/N groans as he grounds his hips into hers with intent.

THE END