#everyone in that group is 100% gay

[sprooknooky]

Here’s… (checks notes) …Bird, Blade, and Gate, for all of the Bird Blade and Gate fans out there (of which there are none)

+my own colors because the manga is black and white and I can believe whatever I want

[coolauntlilith]

It really is always "let fans explore," with the aromantic characters.

I will never forget some other explorations that were deemed homophobic and absolutely unacceptable by fans of media where, in the dialogue/text/narrative of the literal shows, the characters never say with their own mouths, "I'm gay." Oh but it's fine with an aromantic characters that the VA and indirectly the creator have said is aromantic.

[trevination]

pony coming out to soda... period typical homophobia.... heart emoji

[crtter]

Hey everyone, given the recent news and all, I imagine some people might be considering leaving the country if the hostility aimed towards and the loss of rights of women and the LGBT+ community keeps on increasing during this second Trump presidency. Immigration is an extremely bureaucratic process in most countries, though, so if I could suggest a potential alternative, easier way out of the US if it ever comes to a point where such a thing would be needed, Brazil, my home country, is particularly friendly and considered a “model country” when it comes to our laws regarding requests of asylum. For example, people who apply for a refugee status in Brazil:

 • Have a very good chance of being granted it. Just last year, over 77 000 people were granted asylum in Brazil [1]

 • Are almost never under the risk of being deported, even if they came to Brazil under unregulated means and/or under fake documents [2]

 • Have the benefit of a very straightforward, 100% free of charge process to apply for asylum that doesn’t require a lawyer and can be done almost fully online through filling a form on a website, with the exception of getting a physical copy of your application process at the nearest federal police station [3] and

 • While getting an official refugee status can take a long time (sometimes up to two years in certain cases), just by being officially registered as being in the process of obtaining said status, asylum-seekers have the right to obtain “temporary” valid Brazilian IDs, a legal work permit and also are granted rights identical to those of Brazilian citizens, such as the right to free education, free healthcare, and social assistance. Apart from having to renew those documents once a year, these privileges are never revoked [4]

Most importantly though, the Brazilian Refugee law of 1997 defines a person eligible to obtain refugee status as being, between other criteria, someone who

“has well-founded fears of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, social group or political opinions, finds themselves outside their country of nationality and is unable or unwilling to seek the protection of that country” [5] which includes members of the LGBT+ community, as it’s explicitly stated in the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees website that

“Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people may be eligible for refugee status [in Brazil] on the grounds of persecution due to membership in a particular social group. UNHCR recommends that people who are subject to harm, inhuman treatment or serious discrimination because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or intersex status and whose governments are unable or unwilling to protect them should be granted refugee status.” [6]

To sum it up… if things escalate to the point where you feel like you’d be safer leaving the US than staying in it, Brazil is one country that would welcome you practically immediately. Tumblr tends to bury posts with links so I’ll add sources on a reblog, along with more information.

[dreamsteddie]

After the events of season four in a world where Vecna dies a minute earlier, Eddie lives, and Max gets away with a broken arm and some vision loss, Nancy and Steve start spending a lot of time together.

Everyone assumes that since Nancy and Johnathan broke it off not long after they reunited, having found themselves on different paths, the two of them were naturally drifting back together. Some of the kids are even betting among themselves on whether or not they're actually already back together and trying to keep in on the down low while everyone heals.

What really happened was that Nancy showed up on Steve's doorstep one day and asked if she could come in. She was nervous and it showed in the way she pinched her brow and rubbed her intex finger over her thumb nail but still made direct, almost aggressive eye contact with the man in front of her. Steve was worried that she was, indeed, here to confess which...wouldn't have been the worst thing, just not the right thing.

Instead what she says, directly and to the point despite her nerves, is that she's sorry if she led him on during their last time in the Upsidedown. She tells him that while she did feel a remnant of that old flame between them, it was ultimately a flicker in comparison to the forest fire of complicated emotions building up inside her for someone completely new. Someone completely unexpected. She looks genuinely mournful for having to tell him this, but all Steve can really feel is relief.

Steve had felt it too, and for a moment there it had really felt like their time had finally come. It felt like all the hurting and the fighting and the miscommunications and the missed chances were all leading them to this climactic moment during their last stand where they could begin their epic love story all over again. But then suddenly all he could think about between the blood and fear was eyes deep and dark like the forest floor after a long rain and the fleeting feeling of cool silver on his sore shoulders. He tells her that it's ok because he found someone new and unexpected too.

After that night they find a new kind of kinship that they always reached for but never could attain with all the history between them. They start meeting up as often as they can for late-night talks. Once Steve returns from his work at the shelter and visiting Eddie in the hospital and Nancy's parents come back to relieve her of babysitting duties while they help rebuild the town they meet at Steve's house. They avoid the back patio at all costs, instead deciding to set up lawn chairs out front to face the empty street, all of Steve's neighbors having fled with the first tremors.

They drink and talk for hours about all the mistakes they made, apologizing for all the ways they hurt each other in their youth in the days when they knew how to hurt but not how to heal. They talk about the life they could have had if things had been different. They talk about jobs and white picket fences and children and all the ways they would have been happy but not content. It should be awkward, and sad, and uncomfortable. And it is. But more than that it's cathartic, and by the end they are closer than they've ever been and fully ready to move onto the next phases of their lives as close friends.

They also spend quite a bit of time after the heaviest topics have run their course trying to help each other woo their respective crushes. Robin came out to the group not long after Will returned. She decided that it was time for her to claim the "most coveted of all Queer positions, Steve. The Queer Mentor!" and that being in the closet with their friends was antithetical to her cause. Steve argued that he was her first pupil already, but she claimed that his gay crisis was so minuscule that it hardly deserved the name. He came out a fully formed bisexual man. Steve wasn't 100% sure about Eddie, but there were enough rumors about him that he felt comfortable at least shooting his shot. Eddie was a good guy and he was so happy when Robin came to his room to share her coming out with him since he'd missed the bigger announcement.

All that is to say that they were both ready and willing to start pursuing their respective targets. They made game plans and tried to come up with date-but-not-really-a-date ideas for them to test the waters.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Robin both separately decide that they need to help push Nancy and Steve into the relationship everyone sees on the horizon. Steve is and always will be Robin's number one and she knows better than anybody how hung up he was on Nancy for literal years. She knows they hang out just the two of them and despite Steve dodging her attempts to figure out what it is they meet up about if they're not already together, she's pretty sure they're just taking things slow. The fact that her tummy feels all warm whenever Nancy Wheeler walks into the room is inconsequential to her far greater goal of Make Steve Happy. It sure would help if she would stop looking up at Robin from beneath her lashes like that though. Those eyes are killer.

Eddie, on the other hand, has felt some kind of way about Steve for the entirety of their not-quite acquaintance. It began with a sweet crush in grade school that developed into spiteful teenage lust and then back into a less sweet but much more robust crush following the not-so-end of the world. But all of those feelings are null and void in the face of the rapidly approaching epilogue of Steve and Nancy's epic si-fy/fantasy romance. He saw the way they looked at each other on their journey and he meant it when he said what Nancy had done jumping in that lake was a show of love. It feels almost poetic that he ended up doing the same thing, just a little too late to really matter. But despite the way Steve's visits seem to soothe the ache in his bones better than any opioid or cold compress, Eddie is going to do his damnedest to lead those two sheep in the right direction. It would be a heck of a lot easier if Steve could pick a shirt to wear in his own damn size, though. Those arms really were begging for release.

[its-ares]

— Love in full view

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐱 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐲.

The formula 1 Star gave a personal interview in his home in Monaco. He was interviewd by an old companion, Aart Classen, who wrote and accompanied Verstappen’s way since approximately over eight years. The Redbull driver didn‘t want to hide is relationship anymore, please follow along for a very raw insight to Max Verstappen.

By Aart Claasen

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Are you sure you want to do this Max? You know I don't care if people know we're together, I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for," said Max's boyfriend of 3 years and looked not convinced. Max chuckled and kissed M/N to calm him down.

"Schat, I'm 100% sure. I don't want to hide any longer, this has been going on for too long. It's about time," Max calmed his partner and hugged him. The couple went into the living room, where Aart had already set everything up. Now or Never.

The interview went well and everyone was relaxed. Max told how he and M/N met and how they went from being friends to lovers. At some point the three of them started talking about Jos. "How did Jos react when you told him that you were gay and had a boyfriend?" asked Aart and Max stiffened for a moment. Aart noticed this. "We don't have to talk about him if you don't want to, Max. This is your story." Max shook his head and tried to collect himself. He took a deep breath and started to tell his story.

"I didn't tell him for a long time because I didn't know exactly how to tell him. I told my mother right at the beginning and she always supported me. I also think that she likes M/N more than me," said Max, making the others laugh. "She knew about my struggle to tell Jos. I avoided him for a while and then at some point he confronted me after the race and then it just burst out of me. The hide and seek game became more and more difficult for me and when he asked me more questions I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore," Max finished his monologue and glanced at you. Your smile calmed Max down.

"And what did Jos say then and how did he react?" Aart asked curiously and Max laughed humorlessly. "He was completely confused at first and thought I was joking. Let's just say he's slowly getting used to the idea," said Max and you decided to take a break. "I'm proud of you, baby," you whispered and Max kissed you softly.

After a short break, the interview continued. "Why did you decide to make your relationship public now?" asked Aart and you cautiously looked at Max. "That's actually the sad part of the story. M/N and I wanted to enjoy the break in peace and were in Hasselt. We were on the beach with my mother in the evening and just enjoyed the time. Unfortunately, there were also people there who don't like me and they took a photo when we kissed. We didn't even notice the people and a few weeks later I got a DM on Instagram with the pictures. One guy of the group wrote that he would publish the pictures. We talked about it for a long time and then I made the decision to make it public. We don't want to be blackmailed, I'm not ashamed of being gay, I just wanted some privacy," Max finished and felt a huge weight fall from his shoulders.

After several hours, the three of them ended the interview. "Thank you for your trust, Max. I'll type up the interview and send it to you in advance. I wish you all the best," Aart said, thanking him and saying goodbye.

"Come on, honey, it's been a long day. Let's order something to eat and relax before the spectacle starts," said M/N amusedly. Max laughed.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

liked by 284.063

maxverstappen1 I love you Schat 🧡 The article Love in full view is out now, go check it out. And a big thank you to aartclaasen

[genderqueerdykes]

One of my friends went on a whole rant about how they hate men and think they're all bad, it made me feel super unsafe and scared. I don't know how to go about telling her to just... Not? (I'm a trans man btw and she knows this)

that sucks so bad, i'm sorry that she did that. right now people are taking things out on people who haven't hurt them and it needs to stop. she needs to care about how that affects you.

some talking points you can use would be

You're still a person. It might be good to gently tell her things like "Hey, I'm still a person, and my feelings matter," and "This is making me feel unsafe. I'm not sure if you realize that you are also creating a hostile environment and it's not fixing anything."

Pointing out that pathologically avoiding men will keep her trapped in her trauma indefinitely and that all she's doing is avoiding coming to terms with the specific injustices she has faced so she can move on to a happier, more complete life.

Pointing out that is paranoid thinking, and it might be good to point out that she's not the only woman on planet earth and the men around her are not salivating to assault her in specific.

Pointing out that this is catastrophizing behavior and black and white thinking. Instantly assuming the absolute worst about of group of people is catastrophizing, which is not a healthy thinking pattern. "Woman good" "men bad" is black and white thinking, which is also not a healthy thinking pattern.

Pointing out that hurting someone else just because you have been hurt is perpetuating the cycle of abuse, and that she as a woman is capable of abusing other people, including men.

This is judgmental behavior and she would be hurt as fuck for strangers to assume she's stupid, pathetic, weak, can't think for herself, can't defend herself, can't ever do anything for herself strictly just because she's a woman. Doing it to someone else doesn't make it right.

The people she is profiling as men may not be men- they may be closeted trans women, transfems going stealth, intersex people, and so on. they may also be queer. they may be a trans man, a gay man, a bisexual man, an intersex man, a polyamorous man, an aromantic man, an asexual man, a bigender man, a genderfluid man, a nonbinary man, a genderqueer man, or any other kind of queer man. She does not have special laser vision and cannot tell strangers' genders just by looking at them no matter how they present outwardly.

Claiming that one gender is wholesale better than another is exactly why we have misogyny & woman hating in the first place. Demonizing and villainizing a gender is where this all started.

Surrounding herself with women will not keep her safe because women are 100% capable of abusing, hurting, torturing, bullying, sexually assaulting, injuring and killing her. Women can be and are dangerous at times as well.

Women are not defenseless soft pathetic weak little waifs who can do no wrong and are constantly victims in every single scenario. Women should not be allowed to dodge accountability by virtue of being pathetic scared defenseless weak women, as this is misogyny, and women are accountable for their actions just like everyone else.

Women are not inherently comforting or nurturing. Women are not always focused on taking care of people and sometimes do enjoy hurting people who haven't hurt them.

Women are capable of lying, manipulating, stealing, and gaslighting.

The most dangerous people in the queer community right now are cis women, in the form of terfs and radfems. Women do not always have everyone's best interests in mind.

Pointing out that the concept of manhood and the existence of men isn't what hurt her, and that specific individual men were the ones that hurt her, and that she's not holding those specific men accountable by blaming their genders instead of their actions.

Doing this to and showing hostility toward men will not motivate them to treat women and femmes any better.

Saying that all men are inherently evil and predatory is allowing them to dodge accountability for their actions by saying "men are just like that". It doesn't give them a chance to improve and grow, which is something men are 100% capable of doing.

and if you can't bring it up to her, don't feel bad. people are literally proud of being judgmental assholes right now and it's sad as hell. treating men like this isn't going to fix any of this. best of luck to you, i hope she smartens up and learns that this isn't helping her at all. it's just turning her into a bitter, jaded asshole

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

This is a direct follow up to Story #387, Story #389, and Story #394. It is strongly advised that you read those stories first.

#400

“There he is!  Timothy Stone, get on up here!...  Welcome aboard!  Welcome to the Zelus.  I see you are impressed with my tiny tugboat.  Ha! Ha!  I love looking at reactions of new passengers.  You ever been on a yacht this big?

“It’s sixty-nine feet, and enough power to get us around the entire Bahamas and back here to West Palm Beach.  It has four staterooms and two crew quarters.  You get one of them.  Sorry, with the entire executive team here each of us will get our own stateroom. 

“Let me text Lloyd to take us out of the marina.  All of us have been here for some time.  No, don’t worry about it.  I told you to be here at three, and it’s five ‘til three.  No, we’ve been having fun with our new faggot we got tied up….

“You want a drink?...  I have this cognac that I was given in Vegas the other day by a potential client.  I haven’t tried it yet.

“Ahh we are moving.  We should be out of the marina in a few minutes.

“Here you go….  Cheers!  …Ahhh!  Smooth.  I’m not a fan of cognac, but this is pretty good.  It should be.  Courvoisier Mizunara is supposed to be one of the best out there.  On the shelves it’s worth $2,500.  But shit, I couldn’t tell that from a $100 bottle.  Bourbon is more my thing. 

“Growing up in Tennessee, my Uncle Jimmy used to make his own.  Everyone in a five-mile radius of his home had a bottle of his bourbon.  I used to help him out in his garage in the evening when his son went off to college.  Uncle Jimmy showed me everything, but we always wound-up drinking.  I was sixteen at the time.  I’d plow his ass at the end of the night.  After a few times, he didn’t even wait until we started drinking.  He had one of the best pieces of ass I ever had.

“His bourbon lives on with my cousin once my uncle passed.  I have a bottle of it here.  I may break it out sometime during this trip.  My cousin fucked it up when he went ran the company.  It’s definitely not as good as it was before.  Some boys just don’t have a mind for business.

“Speaking of boys in business, your son Michael is doing great.  From what Lloyd was telling me, he’s really taking to his new role as intern.  I know he finds it a challenge, but Lloyd, Ben, and Gary think he’s handling it better than anyone they have seen in a long time.  Apparently, he has a gift for adapting, kinda rolling with the punches.

“What I like about him—I met him this morning—is his ability to take directions without complaints.  That is such a difficult characteristic to find in boys these days.  Lloyd and Gary were indicating they want to keep him around after his initial internship.  I left him earlier working hard trying to impress me.

“…Oh you hear that cabin tone?  That’s Lloyd telling everyone that we’ve cleared the marina and are out at sea.  This is your first time on the Zelus.  When we are in open water, we strip naked.  All of us.

“I told you the other day when we were talking about promoting you to lead our European expansion, that we are a close group of men—of four gay men.  We share our conquests, our lusts, our dark needs with each other.  I trust these men like I would trust my brother, if not more.  We have been in countless gang bangs tearing up some faggot’s cunt.  I have seen their cocks and asses so much that it’s awkward to see them clothed.  The other two on board are faggots.  Naturally those two are going to be kept naked.

“So strip.  This is not an option.  You can jump overboard and swim back to shore if you would like.

“Good.

“You can leave them on the couch.  Ben’s boy will put them in your cabin.  If you go out on deck you can keep your sunglasses and baseball cap on.

“You have got to realize that the four of us have known each other for years.  Lloyd and I go back to our time in the Corps.  What connects us is our love for using and abusing faggots. 

“Right now, as I was saying there are two faggots on board.  One is Ben’s boy.  While Ben has taken him on as a partner of sorts, he’s still a faggot at heart.

“…I guess I should ask, do you know the difference between a gay man and a faggot?  A faggot is a gay man who has a need, an urge, a longing to submit to the whims of superior men.  The more humiliating, degrading, cruel the better.  Faggots live for the cum of its superiors.  It loves to degrade itself in order for the man to be elevated.  It needs the beatings, the piss, the bondage, the punishment to feel complete.

“I don’t know why you were hesitating about stripping.  You have a great body, average sized dick, nice long foreskin, and holy shit… Those balls are huge!  Let me hold on to them….

“Hey don’t hesitate.  We are all physical with each other as well.  Look, I’m standing here in front of you naked.  I already saw you check out my dick.  Yes, it’s very fat.  If you want to touch it, go right ahead.

“You know, as a man who says he bisexual, you certainly seem apprehensive….  Or is it the fact that I’m your boss telling you to take a hold of my cock.  I get it.  If you are going to be a part of this team, you are going to have to drop those pretenses.  When you walk around you should let those low hangers swing free and guide your every step.

“Let me check out your ass.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m an ass man.  I’m going to see it anyways, might as well be now.

“Solid and meaty, just as I would have guessed.  Nice and hairy.  Faggots seem to love licking a hairy crack.  You ever have your ass eaten out?...  There may be some ass eating ahead.

“Speaking of which, right now that faggot is down below.  It is tied down, blindfolded with a noise cancelling headset on, ass up.  The four of us have already bred it.  You will be up next.

“Your cock doesn’t seem like it wants to get hard….  Do you need something?  We have Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Muse, Tri-mix.  Well, I need a shot of Tri-Mix.  After this morning’s big load, I don’t think I could get hard again until tomorrow.

“You ever do Tri-Mix?  I use it when I want to fuck for a long time.  It keeps me boned up for a few hours.  You want to try it?  After a few minutes have passed you will be rock, and I mean rock hard.

“If you are nervous, this being your first time with me on the Zelus, just do it.  Let me get it.  It’s kept cold.  Don’t worry, I have a doctor that gives me whatever I want.

“Just stand right there.  Don’t worry.  I’ve done this many times.  Yes it’s an injectable.  And it’s injected into the shaft.  Aww, don’t turn into a pussy on me.

“I brought two syringes.  Let me do it to myself.  Here watch….  It goes in, I plunge, and it comes out.  Like that.  It’s over quick.  Now a few tugs and I can already feel it working.  I’m not going to get completely rigid for about 15-20 minutes.

“Look, you say you are bisexual, but I’m thinking that you are making up the gay side of it because you want to impress us.  You want this promotion so fucking bad you are willing to fuck some faggot in front of us.  You wouldn’t be the first straight man to shoot up his cock to fuck fags.  There’s a whole term for it: gay-for-pay.

“You want to be part of this team, you are going to need to learn to love using faggots, that includes dumping a load into them.  To do that you need to get hard.  This injection will do that for you.

“Here feel my cock again.  Grab a hold of it….  Feel that?  It’s harder than a few minutes ago.  Here let me inject you.

“Come here.  Just look up.  On the count of three.  One!  See, it went in….  And now you are done.  Give it a few tugs and you will start to feel it.

“You’ll be hard for the rest of the night.  Lots of fucking in your future tonight. 

“When we had our conversation in Vegas, I told you that I was pissed off at your skimming the profits but was very intrigued at the process you used to do so.  It took some serious creativity to pull that off.  I was impressed.  The guys too.  We set this cruise out to a remote island in the Bahamas to get to know you—to get to know you as a fag fucker.  Besides, the shit we do… man, we wouldn’t take on anyone who had a shred of decency.

“Do you feel your cock getting larger?  I can see it growing.  Yeah, once we go downstairs into the media room that doubles as a dungeon, you will see the faggot cunt secured to the sling or fuck bench.  Your cock will slide into its cunt.  And it should be silky smooth.  Better than any woman’s pussy.

“We have been training this faggot for a couple of weeks.  Lloyd secured him about the time when you and I went to Vegas.  He was an easy target.  What you probably don’t realize being essentially straight is that there are faggots out there that will do just about anything to serve men like us—brutal men like us.  Lloyd has a good talent for reading a potential faggot.  He says things that just seems to work on getting that faggot to be collared.

“Once that happens then it’s only a matter of time that they submit to whatever we want to do to them.  And all it took was this.  See this little fob?  This is the tool we use.  Here, press the number one button.

“Do it again.  And again.  What you did, is you sent a shock to the faggot down below.  The collar we put on him is wired up, like a collar for a dog to get it to stop barking.  Once they feel that, total submission is almost immediate.  With this particular faggot, he turned into a whipping post for Ben and toilet paper for Gary in no time. 

“Where we keep the faggot is wired up for numerous cameras.  So we can see what the faggot is doing and send a shock from anywhere in the world.  I even sent one from Vegas when you were looking up some number from some report.

“Look at your cock.  It’s starting to get rigid.  Damn!  You are a grower! 

“You know, let’s go see the faggot.  The guys will be down there.  We are certainly far from shore so Lloyd will have the autopilot on.

“This way….  Doesn’t it feel right to be walking around buck naked?  Trust me you’ll get used to it, and soon enough you’ll be naked pretty much all the time.  If you need to piss and you don’t have a faggot nearby, just aim off the side and go.  The one thing you’ll learn is pissing with a hard-on will take some time, which is great for loading up a faggot’s toilet cunt.

“And here we are.  Before we go in, I want to point out that you can see the men are enjoying themselves.  In general, we casually use faggots’ holes.  It’s about pleasure and not so much about busting a nut, although busting a nut happens a lot.

“Look at how the men are enjoying what’s going on.  Ben is balls deep in his boy, while the boy is tongue fucking Gary’s shitter.  Lloyd is pile driving the faggot over on the fuck bench, stirring up the cum stew. 

“This is the life we created.  This is what you are coming into.  Let’s go in.

“Gentlemen!  I got Timothy here.  His cock has been shot up and he’s ready to fuck.

“Damn Tim!  You really are a grower.  I should have expected that when I saw your long foreskin.  Now only the tip shows.  Skin it back; I want to see how big your head is.

“Shit!  Do you ever clean that thing?  Look at that dick cheese….  Come here.  Stick your dickhead in the faggot’s mouth.  He’ll clean you off. 

“The faggot is blindfolded and has noise canceling headset under his hood.  He won’t know what to do until you use the handle on his hood to pull his head back.  Then just shove your dick in his mouth.  The faggot knows to clean off dick cheese; I’m sure Gary made sure of that. 

“There you go….  I see that smile.  Feels good, doesn’t it?  Better than any woman.  A well-trained faggot is better than anything a woman can do. 

“Well you got Gary and Ben to stop and watch you.

“Oh you see his welts.  Yeah, a well-trained faggot also takes a beating.  We punish faggot slaves appropriately, but they also are made to understand that sometimes the beatings are for our enjoyment.  Ben and Lloyd certainly like to have their fun.

“This faggot has been trained to do so much.  He’s going to fetch us a good price.  Yeah, we plan on selling him.  There are men around the world that pay top dollar for a well-trained faggot slave.

“Pull out.  I said pull out.  I told you that you will enjoy this.

“Lloyd, move the faggot to the sling.  I think Tim here is ready to fuck.

“While he’s doing that, care for another drink?  Or would you like a cigar?  No?  Ok.

“Boy.  Go upstairs and pour Tim here a glass of the Courvoisier Mizunara cognac.  The bottle should be sitting out.  Hell, bring the whole bottle down.

“That’ll help you adapt and sink into everything to come.  So have you ever been to a gang bang, or fucked a woman who has several loads in her?  The feeling on your cock is amazing.  Yes it’s sloppy, but it also feels silky smooth.

“That’s a sight, isn’t it?  That cunt has been trained to take cock after cock and still remain tight to give pleasure and loose enough to not cause your dick to struggle to fuck.

“Here’s your cognac.  Might as well down it.

“Now go on.  Step up.  Slide it in.  Trust me, this is going to be a fuck you will never forget. 

“…Good.  You ready? 

“There you go!  There’s the smile.  Now FUCK!

“Give that faggot what he deserves.  Slam into him.  Faggots were made to be fucked not made love to.

“Hell yes!  Look, we are all stroking our dicks for you.  You have no idea how hot this is….

“Guys, gather around.  You should see this up close.

“…Go for it!  Don’t hold back.  Breed the faggot. 

“FUCK YEAH!  FUCK!

“…You did it!  In record time!  Well done!  Don’t pull out yet.  Let the rest of your body calm down first.  Savor the feeling.  Savor the moment. 

“You did good.  Now, I need for you to pull out slowly.  The faggot is trained to clamp down.  Good.  Good!

“Look at that slime on your cock.  That’s all our juices.  How do you feel?  I know.  Words elude you?... Ha!

“Get on your knees….  You heard me.  I want you to look at this faggot’s cunt. 

“Gary, pull apart the fag’s cheeks.  Let’s really see that cunt hole.

“On your knees….  There you go.

“Ben.  Lloyd.  Now.

“…They move fast, don’t they?  You have the same shock collar on you as the faggot does.  Now pay attention.  This is a level one zap. 

“…Hurts like a motherfucker, right?  There are ten settings, and you had the weakest.  I don’t think another demonstration is needed.  Do you understand your situation?

“…Shut up.  I don’t want to hear your babble.  That was a ‘Yes Sir’/’No Sir’ question…. 

“OK.  You really thought you could skim money from us and be rewarded with a promotion?  Please!  You need some sort of punishment.  That begins with your lips kissing the faggot’s cunt lips.  Go on!  Lean in. 

“…That was level two….  There you go! 

“Now keep your mouth open.  The faggot may be wearing a noise cancelling headset, but we can speak to him.  He’s going to be told to shit some of his cunt slop into your mouth.  Do not swallow it.  Nod if you understand.  Good.

“Whew!  That was a messy fart!  Remember don’t swallow.  Now pull back.  Look up at us.  Show us the load.  Now gargle it.  Like mouthwash! 

“Two minutes ago, you were a man, but now you are a gargler of cum gobs.  Now don’t swallow.  Stop gargling.

“Get up and go share that in the faggot’s mouth.  Get up….  You know I hate having to repeat myself.  If I have to do it again, you will experience level three.  Now go and have a deep passionate kiss with the faggot.

“Hold his head and swap spit.  Pretend he’s a woman.  Hell, pretend it’s your son Michael’s mother.  I don’t care.

“Fuck yeah!  I didn’t realize that you are an excellent kisser.  Pull off.  There will be more kissing.  Get back to kneeling at the faggot’s cunt. 

“You are going to repeat the process exactly the same, except for the gargling.  You can skip that.  Any hesitation will be met with level three for triple the length.  You understand.  Just nod.

“Good.  Oh, I forgot to tell you one thing.  You need to hear it before you go back to eating another splatter fart out of your son’s ass….

“…Oh yeah!  The faggot here is your son Michael.  This is the internship we set him up with.  Oh yeah.  Your son was a faggot before us.  It was easy for us to pluck him.

“Now, remember level 3.  You are to do the exact same thing with the same level of passion.... I'm fucking serious.  Go!

“…Damn!  That was close.  A split second longer in hesitating and you would have been shocked.  Keep licking.  While you wait to receive your gift from your son’s cunt, Lloyd here is removing your son’s hood.  He still has his blindfold and headset on.  We will be removing those shortly.  You probably won’t recognize him initially because Ben had removed all this body hair even on his head.

“Did you hear that?  Gary just busted a nut watching you felch out our loads from your son’s cunt.

“Pull off when your mouth is full.  Good.  Now go French kiss your son. 

“Just like before.  Go on now….  Fuck yeah!

“This is so hot.

“Now go back to his cunt.  But this time remain standing.

“Stick  your slime covered cock back into your boy’s cunt.  And fuck him.  That Tri-mix I injected you with should keep you hard for a long time.  You’ve already fucked a load into him.  Now just fuck.

“You really should see yourself.  Oh wait, you can.  Look over at that TV.  Yes, we have been filming you.  See your face.  There’s panic, fear, guilt, regret, and even a little disgust.  All the good emotions.  And over on the TV to your right, you can see how your son became a faggot with each of us.  Oh yeah, he wasn’t coerced into being a faggot like you were.  No, he was totally into sperm burping and pole riding.  The fear you had that he might be gay turned out to be true in the most glorious way.

“DO NOT STOP FUCKING.

“And now, we get to see shame you have in him and in yourself, by taking the headset off first. 

“Faggot, it is imperative that you do not say a word.  If either you or the shithead fucking you say one word, you both will get shocked at level 3.  This includes screaming.  I want both of you to nod that you understand.

“Good.  Now Tim, remove the blindfold. 

“Look into your son’s eyes.  Let him see just how much your fuck up has cost him.  All this is because you had arrogance and ambition.  You tried to fuck us over, you tried to steal from us, and you believed that we would be ok with it and promote you as well?  Fuck that!

“Are you crying?  You are!...  Do not stop fucking your son.

“Faggots!  That was level 3.  Yes!  The both of you got shocked.  That’s how punishments will be going forward.  One fucks up, then both gets shocked.

“Now get back to fucking your son.

“Here’s the situation.  We still have about four hours to go.  And you have a hard on that will last another three to six.  You will be fucking him non-stop until we get to where we are going.  Until then, you will not say one word to each other.  Remember those shock collars we have padlocked on you were meant for barking dogs.  If you say one thing, the sensors will register sounds and you two will be shocked.  Also, that sling has a sensor that will monitor for movement.  If that movement stops or even slows down—say due to stopping fucking—you two will be shocked.  Tim, if your collar should go more than 6 feet away from your faggot son’s collar, you two will be shocked.  If any one of us bring up one of our video feeds and see that your cock is not inside your faggot son’s cunt, you two will be shocked.  I will free the faggot’s hands.  I want the two of you to enjoy playing with each other’s chest.  What can I say?  I’m a nice guy.

“That’s a lot of fucking between the two of you between now and when we reach the island.  But here’s one thing before we leave you both to go have dinner.  That island is a small private island, about two to three acres.  There’s a small dock and a metal shed to shield from the elements.  The owner of the island always has a box stocked with water bottles and something to eat.  Last time we sold a faggot there, they put in a hammock between two of the four trees on the island.

“Faggot, you will be left on the dock.  The island owners will send carriers to pick you up either tomorrow or the next day.  From there, they will arrange delivery to your new owners.

“Until then you are free to roam the small island.  Swim.  Whatever.  If you want to swim to the next island, it’s about 7 miles in open ocean, and that island is about ten times larger, but still uninhabited.

“So that’s the life your dad has caused you to have.  Look at him.  He’s a failure, and he knows it. 

“Well Tim.  While you cry, keep fucking your son.  This will be the last few hours with him.  What do you have to say?  Oh, let me turn off your noise sensor….

“…No we can’t simply forget all this.  You stole a lot of money from us, it needs to be paid.  We paid a lot in fuel to get us out here.  We paid for a pick up on the island.  They expect a faggot.  Now, if you want to switch places with your son, that can be arranged.

“You want to do that?  You want to be sold into sex slavery instead of your faggot son?...

“…Well fuck!  I wasn’t expecting that!  You didn’t waste any time in shaking your head no.

“Faggot, did you see how fast your dad just gave you up?  Shit! 

“These past weeks have been carefully planned.  Every word, every detail.  From the Vegas trip where we had our talk, to Lloyd convincing faggot here to sign up to be our intern, to the strip club dancer I paid to have sex with you so that a potential buyer could see you in action, to the tri-mix dose on hand, to the video feeds cued up, and to me handing the shock remote to dear old dad to get him to shock his son three times.  The one thing I was expecting you to do was the fatherly thing and offer to go instead of your son.

“Nope.  You chose to sacrifice your son.  Didn’t even think twice.  That’s fucking brutal.  Just when I think you can’t be more of a piece of shit, you surprise me.

“No YOU are going to be sold, not your faggot son.  Your new owner saw you fuck that stripper, and he wanted you.  He’s into hairy middle-aged straight men as his sex slaves.  He doesn’t want your hairless faggot son.

“So you are going to be sold.  But I wonder.  Hmm.  I’m going to contact your new owner and see if he’s interested in the pair of you two as a set.  Yeah, that is a great idea, to sell your son into slavery as well.  If you had just offered yourself up instead of your son, he would have been spared.  But no. 

“If you have anything to say, save it.  I just put your noise sensor back on.  Get back to fucking your son.

“Gentlemen let’s go have some dinner.  Ben, I see your boy is gone.  To start cooking I presume.  You are one step ahead, as always.  Let’s leave these two have some private time.  They have lots to talk about, too bad they can’t say anything.  Lloyd, I know you have been eying that cognac.  Go ahead and grab it.  It’s yours for all the hard work you put in.  Actually, you all did good.  I’m proud of you all.  That was fun.”

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[lune-moon-nuit]

The ending of s3 is so fun to analyze. Mike having his eyes open in the kiss is interesting to me because if he was truly happy and shocked that she felt the same way I can see why his eyes might be opened for like a split second or maybe at most 3 seconds before they flutter closed and he grabs her and pulls her closer but he doesn’t do any of that. It’s a one sided kiss and his eyes are open the entire time and even after she leaves he’s expression doesn’t get any better. He looks lost. The camera is also panning away from him making him look really small and alone in Will’s empty room just to drive home that lost feeling. When he goes home to hug his mom he looks numb. I don’t think he looks up or at her once. His walk from the front door to the spot where his mom hugs him with this zoned out numb expression the entire time. I do believe the hug to be a parallel to the s1 hug after Mike believes Will to be dead but this one in s3 is a different feeling because he’s not just upset or sad that Will is leaving. I think he finally realizes that he feels more for Will than he does El. For so long I think Mike wanted it to work out with El and maybe he even thought it could and then she tells him that she loves him and he realizes that it never will but he obviously doesn’t want to hurt her. That must be such a terrifying feeling to deal with by yourself. Who do you confide in when you’re a scared closeted gay kid in the 80’s.

I absolutely agree 100% with everything you said. Ironically, season 3 is the season with the most "Mileven" moments as a couple, but it’s also the season where it becomes most obvious how Mike is forcing conformity through his relationship with Eleven. It’s clear that it’s all just a show for him. He deliberately shows up late to the regular movie outings with Lumax and Will, spends the whole summer making out with El but never integrates her into the friend group. This is evident when El clearly doesn’t know Max well when she first approaches her (and the same goes for Will). Even when El finally joins the group to welcome Dustin back, Mike convinces her to leave and make out on the hill under the pretext of curfew, even though Dustin has just arrived. Why would they waste time climbing a hill only to leave when they’ve nearly reached the top? It’s because all of this is just a performance for Mike—he wants everyone to see that he has a girlfriend. It’s pure overcompensation.

That’s also why he seems more emotionally invested in his argument with Will than in his breakup with El. The signs are all there, and the most telling, as you mentioned, is that famous scene at the end of season 3. Why would Mike remain completely still, eyes open, not kissing back, not saying anything, showing no facial expression, no smile, after his girlfriend—who broke up with him three months earlier (a situation he supposedly found frustrating, based on what he showed his friends)—tells him she loves him back? Why does his expression seem so confused after the kiss? And all of this takes place in Will’s bedroom, in front of an open closet with a light shining directly over Mike’s head.

Hopper’s letter, which applies perfectly to Mike, Mike going into his mother’s arms with that same lost expression, mirroring the hug he gave when he thought Will was dead in season 1... It’s clear that this scene was crafted to show that Mike, with that kiss, realizes he doesn’t feel what he’s supposed to feel while kissing his girlfriend (someone he had claimed to “love” three months earlier in the heat of the moment, fearing he would lose her). He didn’t feel what he’s been trying so hard to feel throughout season 3 and in the unseen months between the end of season 2 and the start of season 3. Despite all his efforts, he doesn’t feel what he thinks he should—and yet, he does feel what he’s looking for when he’s with Will.

The Mike at the end of season 3 is a Mike who realizes he doesn’t feel what he’s supposed to feel with girls, while also living in a time when being queer was synonymous with illness and death. Indeed, our poor Mike is hiding so much fear and pain because of this.

[legendary-69420]

☆o( "He Should Slow Down 🥺" — The F1 Driver Group Chat Chronicles )o☆ Genre: Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Lighthearted F1 Fanfic Warnings: none I guess

a/n : This is part 6 of the series (You can also read it without reading any previous part). This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it. _________________________________________________ (for context Mark has starred in a short film where he has played the part of a menacing psycho killer)

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "I Can't Lose Him 😭😭😭" 🏎️

[10:00 AM]

Lando: OKAY. I’M SAYING IT. THIS IS UNFAIR. Yuki: Nah bc HOW did he do that. Carlos: This man is a menace. Max: “This man has unreal power.” Oscar: I’m watching it again. Lando: SAME. Carlos: SAME. Yuki: 6th rewatch, let’s go. Max: I can’t believe that’s MARK. OUR MARK. Lando: OUR????? Yuki: YOUR?????? Max: I MEANT THAT AS A GROUP THING. Carlos: He’s not YOURS, bro.

[10:10 AM]

Oscar: But nah, let's be real. Oscar: That solo shot of him… Carlos: OH WE SAW. Yuki: 👀 Lando: 🔥🔥🔥 Max: I HAD TO PAUSE. Carlos: THE HAIR FLIP. THE MENACING CHUCKLE. THE LOOK IN HIS EYES. Oscar: Why did he lowkey look like he enjoyed being unhinged. Max: Not “lowkey.” He 100% enjoyed it. Yuki: That shirtless scene?? Nah, that scene changed me. Oscar: The world has been permanently altered. Carlos: THIS MAN TURNED GAY WOMEN STRAIGHT AND STRAIGHT MEN GAY. Max: 📢📢📢 Lando: I just know my For You Page is COOKED for the next 3 months. Yuki: Thirst edits incoming. I can feel it.

[10:15 AM]

Lando: MARK. Mark: What. Yuki: EXPLAIN. Carlos: NAH. DROP THE EXPLANATION RN. Max: HOW DARE YOU. Oscar: HOW LONG DID YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET?? Mark: Y’all acting weird again 💀 Lando: OH WE’RE THE WEIRD ONES??? Yuki: YOU'RE A PSYCHO IN THE FILM AND IN REAL LIFE. Max: THE HAIR FLIP, MARK. THE. HAIR. FLIP. Mark: 😂😂😂 Carlos: I HOPE YOU’RE LAUGHING IN HD CAUSE WE ARE NOT. Yuki: Liar. I’m watching it again.

[10:20 AM]

Charles: … Lando: oh. Carlos: OH. Yuki: he’s here. Max: Look who finally decided to join us. Oscar: What’s up, Charles. Carlos: Charles, did you watch it? Charles: ... Charles: No. Lando: LMAO. LIE AGAIN. Max: BRO’S IN HERE QUIETLY STARING AT HIS SCREEN. Oscar: I bet he’s on the spicy scene rn. Lando: THE SPICY SCENE. I KNOW IT. Carlos: Charles, you need help. Charles: I'M NOT WATCHING IT. Yuki: I CAN HEAR THE SCENE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. Mark: Charles, you good? Charles: SHUT UP. Mark: ?? Lando: Bro is FUMING 💀💀💀 Oscar: Man is REWATCHING IT RN AND WE KNOW IT.

[10:30 AM]

Max: “Mark you trying to steal my girl?” Carlos: “Mark you trying to steal MY man?” Yuki: Mark, you trying to steal EVERYONE?? Oscar: Stealing hearts like it’s a hobby. Lando: Nah, Mark woke up and chose violence. Charles: Y’all are so ANNOYING. Lando: OH, WE'RE ANNOYING?? Carlos: Bro, you’ve been on the same 20-second scene for an hour. Max: Every time I refresh my feed, IT’S THE SPICY SCENE. Oscar: IT'S EVERYWHERE. Yuki: Every edit is just that one shot. Carlos: We lost him. He’s gone. Mark: Lost who? Lando: Charles. Yuki: Gone forever. Oscar: Charles Leclerc, 1997-2024, cause of death: thirst trap edits. Max: Rest in peace, king. Charles: BLOCK ME. Mark: Bro, what did I even do?? 💀💀💀

🏎️ Race Day — Post-Race Chaos

[3:00 PM]

Yuki: P3 FOR MARK LET’S GOOO Lando: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Oscar: YOU DID THAT. Max: Look at him. Podium prince. Carlos: Rookie where??? I don’t see one. Lando: BUT WHERE IS HE GOING LMAO. Carlos: BRO JUST FINISHED THE RACE AND SPRINTED AWAY. Yuki: THE MAN DIDN’T EVEN CELEBRATE. Oscar: LITERALLY WENT “GG” AND LEFT. Max: He’s running like the cops are after him. Lando: IM CRYING HE’S TAKING OFF HIS RACE SUIT WHILE WALKING. Yuki: SHIRTLESS MARK RETURNS. Carlos: THE PEOPLE ARE GONNA EAT THIS UP. Max: Nah, bro is smooth with it. Unzipped, tossed his top, and kept moving. Charles: WHERE IS HE GOING. Carlos: TO HIS MOVIE PROMOTION, OBVIOUSLY. Yuki: HE JUST GOT P3 AND NOW HE’S DOING PRESS FOR A MOVIE. Max: "This man never rests." Oscar: "Booked and busy." Lando: MOVIE STAR LIFESTYLE. Carlos: He’s literally switching between “F1 Star” and “Hollywood Star” in 3 minutes. Yuki: Dual threat. Oscar: Name one man smoother than this. Max: I’ll wait. Charles: He should slow down. Lando: AWWWWWWWWWW. Carlos: NAH. Max: THE CONCERN. Yuki: 🥺🥺🥺 Oscar: Let’s frame that. “He should slow down.” Lando: Charles, you’re so soft for him. Charles: SHUT UP.

[3:30 PM]

Mark: What did I miss? Lando: BRO, YOU JUST DID A SPEEDRUN OF "MOST SUCCESSFUL PERSON ALIVE." Carlos: RACE FINISH, MOVIE PROMOTION, AND A THOUSAND THIRST TRAPS. Yuki: Multi-tasking at its finest. Oscar: HOW DO YOU DO IT. Max: Are you secretly five people? Lando: THE SHIRTLESS WALK. THE SMOOTHNESS. THE MOVIE PROMO. WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF. Charles: He should slow down. Mark: What. Lando: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Carlos: GOT HIM. Max: BUSTED. Yuki: "He should slow down" you’re so in love, bro. Mark: 😳 Charles: STOP TALKING.

[4:00 PM]

Carlos: Anyway. Yuki: Anyway. Oscar: Anyways. Max: "He should slow down" will live rent-free in my head forever. Lando: Making it the new chat name, give me a second. 🏎️ Group Chat Name Changed to: "He Should Slow Down 🥺" 🏎️ Charles: I’m leaving this chat. Yuki: You’ll be back. Mark: Always are. Carlos: GOT ‘EM. Oscar: ETERNAL.

______________________________________________________________ (If you want to know more about Mark...you can read it here in my story Racing hearts)

[muzsmocsing]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

[sepublic]

The core to Belos’ character is that he’s everything wrong with the United States of America. Why else is he a Puritan, a group of racist settlers who helped found the U.S. and contributed to the genocide of the Native Americans? Why else does he dress up like a Founding Father when not in papal robes, with a ponytail resembling a powdered wig?

Luz thinking he’s a great explorer, only to find out Philip is just an entitled asshole who takes credit from others to make himself look better, is a play on people IRL finding out that people like Christopher Columbus and Thomas Edison were assholes who stood on the shoulders of others. It’s a play on white mediocrity and how white guys do the bare minimum and expect to be praised.

Belos is a bigot whose entire motive and goals are based on genocide-level bigotry, and he refuses to unlearn any beliefs; Being a historical Puritan he is 100% racist and misogynistic and unlike Caleb, didn’t take the chance to grow out of it. He wants to believe he’s born special and better than everyone else, and that’s why he buys into white supremacy. The modern cop is the descendant of the witch hunter.

There is an explicit connection between the colonial genocide of Native Americans and Belos’ genocide of witches and demons, down to imposing a Christian misunderstanding of the local religion. He feels entitled to their magic but does none of the work to understand, nor does he cultivate a sustainable relationship with the land the way indigenous people do, hence consuming palismen.

He coined the term Savage Ages, with Savage having racist connotations. His fantasy is the Monster Hunter, the idea that it’s okay to dehumanize anything and even anyone that’s different to kill them. He believes in the Evil Races trope which is of course inherently racist. Belos treats Luz like his White Man’s Burden, a brown child who needs a White Savior to civilize (just as the U.S. kidnapped Native American children to assimilate), and then tries to kill Luz when she doesn’t go along instead of just. Leaving Luz alone or dragging her into the human realm with him anyway.

Belos makes exceptions to his religion when convenient, allowing himself to use magic but then demonizing those who do, just as homophobic Christians and Republicans do. Think of all the anti-gay politicians who are caught being gay; They’re not repressed victims, just hypocrites who think they’re entitled to special treatment. Philip didn’t rat on Caleb for hanging out with a witch for the reasons Pro-Lifers let loved ones have abortions; Caleb was important to him, and he’s not one of the witches Philip planned to murder. And even then he still killed Caleb for ‘crossing a line’!

The Puritans and other groups informed the Alt-Right in the U.S., as well as Evangelicals who rage about how something as innocuous as Pokemon is a Satanic influence (Yes this happened; The Conformatorium doesn’t seem so unrealistic after all, and remember that Dana’s father gave her a copy of Pokémon Red before he died that she latched onto). But like the Televangelist, Belos indulges in material wealth and glory via the glamour of Catholicism, because he’s not even consistent to Puritan values either.

He’s Trump, he’s Elon Musk, he’s Ron DeSantis. He’s the incel/mass shooter who fell down the pipeline, who feels cheated out of the promises of a white supremacist society and takes it out on minorities but not other white guys, because he thinks the system’s idea is fine it just isn’t working as it should, at least he’s better than those guys. He calls others NPCs because he wants to believe he’s born special and better and chosen.

Belos’ reaction to Caleb being with Evelyn was undeniably motivated by racial disgust at his brother for committing miscegenation and making Philip related to a savage in the process, it’s why he never brings it up because of the scandalous shame of it all. Belos hates those witches more than he ever loved Caleb, Caleb was never his priority or he’d have changed his mind; It had far less to do with ‘codependency’ and far more to do with white supremacy, perhaps Philip wouldn’t have minded Caleb settling with a human white woman. The issue being not Caleb leaving him but who Caleb left him for.

Belos thinks taming a wilderness and murdering its natives makes him a tough man because he’s insecure. He has a sniveling victim complex that can’t comprehend why minorities would dislike him, except that they’re mean. Belos epitomizes the U.S.’s racial and colonial violence, its white supremacy, and its global police narrative that decides the existence of another, independent world is an inherent threat to his own.

The conflict between Philip and Caleb was over racism, and so it’s black and white because racism is always wrong. Making it ‘nuanced’ would take away from the fact that the motives for real life racism are inherently nonsensical and insincere; Caleb wasn’t selfish for living with another culture on its terms, instead of staying in the racism village (The Gravesfield statues corroborate Philip being an adult when he arrived in the Demon Realm, according to the memory portraits; Caleb waited until Philip was an adult before leaving). Philip was not a weird kid, he was adhering to his social norms with games about how anyone different or actually weird should die, and he wanted to do this, he’s a Conformatorium prude like all the rest and let his fear of Evelyn justify and evolve into violence.

Even if he was weird, Belos isn’t telling other people they should fit in for their sake, he’s telling them they should just die (Unlike himself, because he’s ‘special’); It’s what he admits to the Collector in the finale about not bothering teaching them anything, just wiping them out. Belos uses magic only to kill magic and discards it out of disgust when he’s about to leave, but makes an exception for the life of the non-human he’s become.

And the choice for the villain to be a genuine Puritan makes sense, because this is a show about weirdoes, so who’s designating them as such and why? Luz has a conflict with the IRL system since the first scene and Belos symbolizes the system, his Puritan ideology marked the foundation for it and the U.S. Belos killing Caleb is just the cherry on top of his actual motives and what his character was always about, that’s why his death scene isn’t him lamenting about Caleb or how lonely he is, it’s him being racist and demanding special treatment for his race. A racist white man feels no guilt for the witches and demons he murdered, just his white brother and clones; He still keeps killing them too btw.

Deeming someone a lost cause and killing them instead of working to rehabilitate is un-Christian, because Belos is not secretly bound by his religion, he picks and chooses. His guilt is not Catholic, he is the Protestant belief in his own superiority. Belos isn’t just a Nazi, he’s an American racist, he’s the KKK; He’s a condemnation of American Values and Exceptionalism, and lowkey I think that’s part of the reason why Family-Friendly Disney canned TOH, because Belos is a condemnation of a major consumer base. Disney being more progressive than other companies means jackshit because it’s performative and the bar is in hell.

[burstinn]

Hello 👋, could I request some cod characters (perhaps Ghost, Price or Krüeger) defending a male military reader from a bunch of guys that are being homophobic to him?

Homophobes die

Warnings and Notes:

All relationships here is platonic or could potentially be seen as romantic

Krueger is somehow in the 141, just pretend he is.. Yknow.. Just pretend..

You get beaten the fuck up, your face is literally fucked up

Blatant homophobia

The only people shown is Ghost, Price, and Krueger

Being openly gay in the military is hard.

Not everyone has the same belief, but by God do they need to atleast be a little respectful.

Well, aside from some "out there" remarks about you or some men coming up to you just to ask to help them yknow take some stress off. They're not gay they swear they just needed to take it off without just jerking themselves off.

All that fun shebang, but then there's the 3rd. The people who go out of their way to just fuck with you.

They are literally the mix of the 1st and 2nd group. But make it 100 times worse, but they're favorite thing to do is more physical things.

Beating the shit out of you the chance they get. You're almost used to it now. Can't even snitch about it, they'll catch you before you do. Hell, they'll manage to spin some bullshit to make it your fault.

Which brings you toooo.. Today! The peak of Pride Month! Which you were reminded of by your good pals!

Being dragged off to a corner and beating the fucking shit out of you while congratulating you about pride month.

"It's gay month, hope your f---got ass is happy about that. This is your prize for it!"

"Maybe you were hoping to suck some dick today? No?"

Such great words really wow.

You couldn't really answer much.. Blood dripping out of your nose and pooling down to your mouth, pretty sure you lost some teeth.

Not like you can see either, brutal punches hit really hard. A black eye, a few broken bones.. Maybe your rib.

A few good kicks to the stomach. On your cock as well.

GHOST

- he heard it.

- He was looking for you and 'your pals' since you and them missed training and punishment is needed for that.

- Then he heard it

- stopping in his tracks and peering off in the corner seeing you getting beaten bloodied, black and blue.

- He needed to intervene shit look at you.

- He stepped out of the corner, grabbing the shoulder of one of the guys that was about to connect his hand to your face

- Anger courses through the guy who was about to punch turning around to see who dares grab him. Before his confidence falters seeing.. Lieutenant Ghost towering over them a fixed angered glare on them.

- "Prices office Now"

- There was no argument.. They immediately scurry off. Leaving you slumped over. Bloody, swollen.

- He turned his attention to you, carrying you in his arms.. Cradling you.

- "fuck, are you alright?" " hey! Stay awake soldier!"

- He pulls you close, running off with you in his arms. Demanding a medic.Immediately

- He leaves you to be patched up by the medics. Anger written in his face as he makes his way to Prices office.

- Price waiting on Ghost to explain what happened

- He looked like he wanted to kill them, he could've but he might get kicked out of military or arrested idk

PRICE

- He got a heads up a few minutes ago from Ghost that he was looking for you and these guy that were now in front of him.

- He did remember Ghost stalking off somewhere to find you and the dudes that were right in front of him

- He decides to not ask them and wait for Ghost instead.

- Once Ghost arrived, hearing the explanation made him seethe with frustration and disgust.. He knew you were gay but he didn't think people his soldiers no less would treat you like that

- He doesn't need to hear any more

- He discharged them immediately. Walking off with Simon to see you in medbay

- He had to make sure all his soldiers are safe

KRÜEGER

- He was walking by Price's office, He's heard a figh broke out and the person who was beat up was in the medics

- He might as well see who it was

- Just as he was about to fully pass by Price's office. He heard something..

- He stops in his tracks, leaning now against the door to listen.. And he heard everything

- His expression slowly growing darker and darker as he continues listening

- He's heard just about enough, He decides to skip seeing you.. He could comfort you later..

- I mean, You both were close but not that close. But still it's not like he can't not care about you.

- He has planned.. Something else for those men

- They went M. I. A after that, No one bothers to look. It's not the militarys problem any more..

°°°

| A Week Later|

"Hey.. Guten Tag, hey! Wake up"

.. Krueger.. He's waking you up

Furrowing your brow in annoyance before you force yourself to open your eyes..

You sit up tilting your head to look at Krüeger.

"Wie geht's?"

"OK, Mir ghet es Gut.. Danke, Krueger"

He nods, looking at your bandaged face.

"You should let 'im rest Krueger"

A deeper, more British voice comes from behind Krueger

"I'm just checking up on him"

Ghost is here too.. How nice, they took their time to see you

"Botha' you, Get back to work. Leave him alone"

And.. Price

" It's fine cap, I'm good"

"You sure? You still look messed up Don't worry we took care of them bastards, we discharged them"

Silence from Krueger.. Looking at the ground for a moment

"Ja... Yeah mmhm"

Weird.. But it's nice that these people care for you.

[danrifics]

you all pestered me for it and here it is. the closeness analysis/ theory.

now if you didn't see I basically had this theory that the closer to BIG and COTY we get in the DAPG timeline the closer dan and phil sit to each other. Dan made a comment about how them playing Heartthrob being like a gay soft launch and that got me thinking of some other ways they could have done it and one of those being the idea that as time goes on you get less and less strict and worrisome about what others think of you and so they end up gravitating closer and closer.

This post will be under a see more cos its probably gonna be long af.

I will be splitting it into stages.

2014 -15

2016 - 17

2018

revival

sorry the screenshots arent clickable to make bigger tumblr only allows for 30 on a post so i had to group them together!

(i will not be covering horror games apart from in the revival stage and i will also not be talking much about gamingmas 2023)

2014 - 15

now when i initially went to collect my evidence, i was suddenly worried maybe i kinda had things wrong because i feel like in Donkey Kong Country (the first dapg video, see screenshot below) they're sat pretty close but honestly when we get to how they sit a lot later on you'll see that this is actually pretty far apart

now here are some screenshots for the inital look at at the end of them we'll talk (this will be the layout for most of this post i think)

now of course this is only a selection of those year's videos if i screenshotted them all i fear this post would never end. now these first 2 years are a good mix of at desk videos on sofa videos. i noticed from some other videos not show here that in sofa videos they rend to sit a lot closer to each other than they do at the desk, this is kinda funny to me cos really they definitely have room for a wider frame on the couch if they wanted to sit like normal people.

2016 - 17

2016 and the start of 2017 feel like a mixed bag of how close together they are but i did notice that the more into 2017 we got the more they seemed to be shoulder to shoulder! these also started to wean out sofa sitting games (not 100% gone yet but almost). now if you're wondering why i've kept this screenshot apart its cos this is the last one in the first london apartment.

and honestly from here on out is where i believe the "soft launching" begins!

so lets finish 2017 and see if im right!

just had to single out this screenshot for a sec:

in case anyone wondered that is the face dan made during dream daddy when phil reads "we were roommates for a while too"

softlaunch?

anyway moving on

watching these videos definitely feels like something changed btw, while they still arent as close as we'll start seeing them sit, i definitely noticed more often they were shoulder to shoulder. but like a new room has definitely changed the vibe a little bit between them, and now we can move on to the next and final year of pre hiatus dapg, where things as you will see immediately start to change.

2018

like i said... immediately we are met with this, i would also like to let everyone know that 2018 is my favourite era of pre hiatus dapg

lets see what the rest of this year will bring

now i'm splitting 2018 up into parts because i need to do a whole talk about the tour situations so for now lets look at the above screenshots, now its very obvious that they are sitting so much closer to each other which i think is really funny considering how big that room is and often in this section of videos there is a lot of room either side of them so they literally do not need to be that close.

now lets talk about the tour bus. this is how close they're sitting

thats for sure a 1 person seat yet they've both forced themselves on even tho the sofa literally behind them would have been perfectly fine to sit on, and they cant give me "this is the only place to set up the camera" babe its really not theres a whole surface behind you.

okay thank you for listening to this, moving on to the final part of 2018!

(the last 2 screenshots are out of order oops)

idk about you but yeah i think they are definetly a lot closer than they were way back in 2014. i really dont have a lot to say other than that, and i have definetly proven my theory so now we've established that lets have a brief look at post hiatus dapg!

Revival

Now this is gonna be really brief its just a summary of where we are post BIG/COTY and post hiatus (things my brain still cant quite believe is real)

now here are the revival moments i wanna give a mention!

firstly sims season ep 3 when dan moves his chair away from phil and their wheels are literally locked together, pushing phil's chair too

heres dan looking into the monitor and then moving closer to phil <3

and finally

hand hold

thanks for reading all this and sorry if it didnt live up to the hype lmao

[sitp-recs]

Favourite Drarry recs (long fics maybe? pretty please?) that are ideally to enjoy this Spring season ?

Hello again! That’s a great ask - I have a long fic rec list that you might find interesting, but this inspired me to do something more specific with Spring vibes feat house renovations, cooking as love language, gardening, domesticity, no angst romance etc etc etc. This is 100% based on my own perception of spring vibes btw, but I hope you’ll enjoy these as much as I did!

💐 Short fic:

magic in the making by @getawayfox (G, 2k)

I didn’t see Malfoy for a year after the trial. When Gin told me that, according to Pansy, he had opened a little posh bakery in Mayfair, I thought she was joking, so I went to see for myself.

Market Saturdays by @sorrybutblog (M, 3k)

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

The Long Fall by @tackytigerfic (M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (M, 8k)

Harry Potter apparently wants to talk to Draco about something, but odd events keep getting in the way of that conversation – and bringing them closer together. Featuring serpentine travels, misbehaving birds, dubious roofing projects, a gay beach, and an unexpected matchmaker.

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (T, 9k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by @sorrybutblog (M, 17k)

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

amid this warm and steady sweetness, orphaned (E, 21k)

Harry is not living in a period drama, no matter what his friends or his new house or Malfoy’s sudden affinity for horse-riding might suggest, and if one more person uses the word courting, he’s going to start hexing people.

💐 Long fic

Moldova's Magical Tea by @aibidil (E, 32k)

Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and—to everyone’s surprise—Draco Malfoy are opening a magical tea shop to revive wizarding tea culture and, hopefully, to bring the community together after the war. Harry, who is unemployed and trying to find his way in post-war society, wants to help his friends with their new business—but that means spending a lot of time around Malfoy.

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (E, 36k)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 (T, 40k)

Harry Potter’s life is fine. Maybe a little dull and predictable, but he shouldn’t complain about that, right? When he unexpectedly finds himself at Luna’s house one afternoon, Harry gets invited to join the secret wonderland that she’s creating with a surprising group of friends. Maybe a summer outdoors is just what a former hero needs to bring some zest back into his life.

Through the May Air, Over the Ocean by tsauergrass (T, 45k)

Draco Malfoy never expected to find himself in Scotland or being stuck in a cottage with Potter—but wonders never cease. A story about warmth, a story about falling back in love. A story about a flock of sheep in the distant fells of Scotland.

Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (E, 46k) - Muggle AU

Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.

Sweeten to Taste by @saintgarbanzo, @babooshkart (E, 51k)

It starts with Draco's buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he's hungry for more.

Against All Odds by momatu (E, 54k)

Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

What Branches Grow by @the-fools-errand (M, 55k)

When a run-of-the-mill investigation turns up evidence that the Death Eaters may be resurfacing, Harry seems to be the only one who believes Malfoy has anything to do with it. Yet according to official records, he’s been the poster child for the Ministry’s post-war Rehabilitation program, living in a small muggle town in Wales.

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (E, 58k)

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy (M, 66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy. Harry finds himself once more watching and following Malfoy, trying to work him out. When they are drawn together to heal the castle, Harry doesn’t just find Malfoy - he also finds himself.

Home Truths by @skeptiquewrites and @fantalfart (E, 67k)

In the off-season Harry decided to fix up Grimmauld Place and found that Draco Malfoy was the only person who could help him. A demanding career and unrelenting press scrutiny were enough to deal with before Harry added a house with a mind of its own, family history, and a tense, flirty, complicated relationship with his childhood nemesis to the mix.

The Claiming of Grimmauld Place by @bixgirl1 (E, 74k)

When Grimmauld Place begins fighting against Harry’s ownership of it, he decides he needs help to train the historic home — but little does he expect that it’ll be Malfoy who’s most suitable for the challenge. However, as Malfoy and Harry get closer, Harry comes to understand that expectations aren’t always the best path by which to guide his heart — and in the process learns just what is needed to make a house a home.

Knead by laughingd0g (E, 83k)

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

Wild, orphaned (E, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.” “I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose, dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (T, 103k)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.