#everyone gets screwed over

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Time loop edition!

Jason gets a chance to do everything right.

He’s got one day, twenty four hours, to change everything to the way he wants it to be (read: repeatedly kill Joker). And if he’s not satisfied with the result by the end of that time, well, that’s fine. He gets a do over for as long as he wants—if he offs himself before the twenty fourth hour mark.

He just didn’t count on his stupid family to be such a wild card and keep switching their routines around at the drop of a hat. Makes it so much harder to plan Joker’s perfect demise…

((Meanwhile the batfam: screaming and falling over each other, very much aware of the time loop but under the impression that Jay’s death is the catalyst, trying desperately to stop Jason from committing suicide by the end of each day.))

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[royalarchivist]

[ Volume warning at the beginning ]

Quackity: LUZUUUUU!!!

Luzu: [Shifts happily]

Quackity: Luzu! Luzu!!!! Luzu, I love you very much! Luzu I love you very much!

Luzu: [In chat] Hello Quackity how are you

Quackity: You don't speak, you aren't speaking, [he's] speaking in English, [he's] speaking English. He speaks in English, he speaks in English! [He switches his translation box]

Luzu: [In chat] Como estas? [How are you?]

Quackity: No no, I speak English too! I speak English too, I'm so good– wait. ...Hello? Are you not able to speak to me? Are you not able to speak to me?

Luzu:

[ Translation: i speak anything ]

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

[the-girl-with-too-many-ideas]

So, raise your hand if you found yourself thinking that Shen Jiu and OG Shang Qinghua would have made a terrifying power couple. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

[beartitled]

The bear creatüre has a bachelor degree now

Yea I graduated uni today 🐻‍❄️🎓🎉

Feels weird tbh 💥

My brain did not register this information yet

Diploma comic reveal when? 👀

[wildfey]

I know I've been Dick (Gumshoe) posting a lot recently and it's not particularly intentional but I have also been rotating him in my mind.

Most loyal man in the world enters an institution that seems to corrupt the morals of everyone who comes into contact with it. Is incredibly shit at his job. Swears he's a good detective despite repeatedly almost being fired. Comes back every time and gets mad because everyone he cares about keeps getting arrested. Does not connect this to the fact that he arrests the wrong people constantly and the only reason he gets in trouble for it is because unlike everyone else he works with, he isn't fiddling with the evidence to justify it.

His best friend is his boss who also keeps cutting his pay because as mentioned previously, he is shit at his job. He outlasts pretty much everyone else in AA because he is the only person not constantly getting caught up in convoluted murder schemes. Presumably this is because he's too busy painting animatronics to actually notice what is happening around him.

[starscreamingg]

Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this

[icebrooding]

On one hand, I love the actual tangible timeline of GW2 and I love seeing characters get older and their changes as time goes on. But I am also not okay with the realisation that since I have not played this all in real-time due to just starting a couple of years ago, Braham has gone very quickly from being like 'my kid brother' to almost being the same age as me. That shit is disorienting.

[vellichorom]

the most compelling tsp narrator x reader would be if it was implied you're actually cookie9

[weneedatdcharacterwho]

we need a TD character who's a #1 (gen1 ship) fan. they know every single thing about the ship and their relationship and they even look like their child

.

[phoenixcatch7]

Kinda surprised no one's written a fic (to my knowledge at least) where wild joins the chain and, with immense joy and some tears, mistakes wolfie for his wolfie. The whole chain (apart from time, who is bewildered but amused) fully thinks wolfie is simply wilds quest companion. That's not a weird helpful wolf, it's not a wandering spiritual beast, it's got nothing to do with twilight. It's wilds pet. Those who lost their own companions are a bit jealous.

Twilight has absolutely no idea how or why or what to do about it, but wolfie is apparently excellent for wilds mental and physical health, and he's so genuinely happy to see him each time he feels awful at the thought of depriving him and making wild feel abandoned.

The whole team is noticing the fact that twilight always vanishes when wolfie appears, but they're drawing the wrong conclusions (or are they? Twilight is hardly the only one to transform, and he is wearing a wolf pelt of all things). Wild wants to introduce twilight to wolfie.

And then, on a trip to wilds hyrule, suddenly there's two wolfies.

[guarshroom]

I can be normal about Random Crits in TF2.

[hanzajesthanza]

cahir in chapter 5: Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach remained tactfully silent.

cahir in chapter 7: [punches soldiers to prevent their flight] “WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING, MOTHERFUCKERS?!”

[literaryspinster]

I love Mel

I love seeing more examples of Black female characters who embody the type of soft femininity I longed to see growing up (see also titans Kory, queen of my heart) I love that Mel Medarda is widely considered the most beautiful character in Arcane. I love that she’s also flawed and complex, with so much room for incredible character development, I love her sweet, gentle romance with her sweet gentle scientist, I love it all and I only want more.

[mc-critical]

Bonus:

2.22 (46) / 2.24 (48) / 2.25 (49) / 2.35 (59) / 2.39 (63)