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thisapplepielife · 3 months

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Written for @steddie-week.

Long Long Time

It's not one realization. It's several, over and over again. A steady falling, until he's in so deep, there's just nothing to be done about it.

"Stop pining, dingus," Robin says, and Steve looks up at her and smiles.

"Impossible," he answers.

"Just tell him," she urges, and he shakes his head. Eddie isn't interested. He's made that pretty clear with the distance he's put between them.

"Nah, that's not cool. He's getting ready to go," Steve says, "no reason to make it uncomfortable now."

"Dingus. No. Stop it. I can promise you Eddie is pining for you just as hard."

Steve shakes his head. He knows that's not true. Steve's tried all his best moves over the last two years, everything he knows, and has nothing to show for it, except a heart that's maybe not gonna be his anymore.

Steve sits on the floor of Wayne's house, and helps box tapes. Eddie's going. He's really leaving, and soon.

And Steve's sure that's gonna hurt him for a long, long time.

"So, what're your big plans for this summer, Harrington?" Eddie asks.

Missing you, Steve thinks, but doesn't say.

"Oh, I don't know. Hang out with Rob, I suppose. Find new jobs. You know we like to change it up every so often. Wreak havoc elsewhere."

Eddie laughs, and it makes Steve smile.

"You could come with me, you know," Eddie offers, but keeps looking down at the box he's packing. "Both of you. All of us."

It's not a real offer, Steve knows that. He knows he's supposed to say no, supposed to let Eddie go, without throwing an anchor around his neck.

"Oh, you don't want that," Steve rebuffs, and Eddie looks up. "I'll cramp your style."

Eddie laughs, "Yeah, you know me. Party animal."

Steve grins, "You might become one. You won't want me tagging along for that."

"But, what if I do?" Eddie asks, and Steve looks up at him.

"Eddie," Steve says, trying to cut this off before he embarrasses himself.

"You're one of my best friends, and we could have fun together."

They could. Steve knows that's true. But he can't go live in an apartment with Eddie. Can't watch him spread his wings and date, right in front of Steve's face. That'd be too hard.

Even if part of Steve wants to say yes, desperately, just to cling onto anything that's being offered.

But he's trying to be better about that. Trying to grow, and shit.

He can only let his heart get trampled so many times, and he's nearing his limit. He definitely won't be able to survive it happening under Eddie's boot.

"C'mon, Steve. For me."

And that almost does it. He hates to deny anything that Eddie might want, but sometimes, you've got to save yourself first. Put on your own life preserver, then worry about everybody else. Robin's taught him that. Or, has at least tried to.

"I can't."

"Why? Robin? I said she can come, too!"

"Because we don't feel the same way about each other, Eddie!" Steve snaps, and Eddie turns into himself, immediately.

"Oh. Oh shit," Eddie says, "I didn't know you knew. Wow, that's embarrassing," he mutters, and it kind of makes Steve mad.

"I'm not embarrassed. I can't help who I lov-. Like. Whatever. But I just can't torture myself, man. I want you to be happy, I do. And I'm the wrong guy for making that happen, obviously, so let's just leave it. While we're still friends."

Eddie's nodding, still packing, then he's suddenly frozen in place, "Wait. What? You make me the happiest."

"As a friend," Steve clarifies.

"Well, yeah. But, if you were into it, as more, too."

"Wait. What?" Steve asks, repeating the same thing Eddie had just said. This is gonna turn into Who's on First? if they aren't careful.

"I mean," Eddie says, shying away, "I know you aren't interested like that. But I still want you around."

Steve laughs, fucking cackles, like he's crazy. He feels crazy.

Was Robin right all along? Was Eddie doing the same kind of pining, and Steve just never noticed? Fuck.

They are both goddamn idiots, if that's the case.

"Well, don't laugh," Eddie says, and he sounds dejected.

"Wait, Eddie, hold up," Steve says, crawling across the carpet towards him, putting his hand on Eddie's forearm. "Do we have crossed wires here? Do you like me, like me? Like I like you?'

"You like me?" Eddie asks.

"Uh, yeah," Steve admits, "I have for a while, to be honest."

"Jesus H. Christ, we're idiots," Eddie says, pushing his hand into Steve's hair.

"Dinguses, if you ask Robin," Steve says, smiling, and Eddie's so close he could kiss him.

Steve thinks he will, and leans in, where Eddie meets him halfway. Kissing him, and it's everything, more than Steve hoped it could ever be.

When Eddie pulls back he's smiling, eyes crinkled at the edges, fucking happy.

He looks thrilled, and Steve decides to go all in. In for a penny, in for a goddamn pound.

"I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time," Steve whispers in a sing-songy way, because even as happy as Eddie looks right now, Steve's still scared his love won't be wanted.

But Eddie just grins even harder.

"What made you think of that song?" Eddie asks, eyes big and bright, almost shiny.

"You hum it all the time," Steve answers, "under your breath. Like it's soothing."

Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's neck, pulling him tighter. Harder. Closer. They're on their knees, so that kind of hurts, but Steve refuses to let him go as Eddie whispers, "It was my mom's favorite song. She'd sing it to me at night."

"Kind of a sad lullaby," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"I was kind of a sad little boy," Eddie admits, and Steve runs his hands up and down Eddie's back.

"Well," Steve says, pressing his lips to Eddie's briefly, "if you'll let me, I'm gonna make sure you're not a sad adult."

Eddie kisses him hard at that, and Steve really will. Even if it takes his whole damn life.

"I'll definitely let you. For a long, long time," Eddie echoes, the beginnings of a promise.

And Steve will take that deal.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!t

The title is from the Linda Ronstadt song of the same name.

#steddieweek2024 #day three #mutual pining #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fic #steddieweek #thisapplepielife: steddieweek #thisapplepielife: short fic

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humblefryingpan · 4 months

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Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.

Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).

Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)

Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.

He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.

Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just

"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"

"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"

Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)

The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)

Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.

Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me

#dc comics #batfamily #alternate universe #fanfiction #fanfic prompt #dc au #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #batfam #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #dc robin #au

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actual-changeling · 11 months

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there's just something so painfully delicious about giving into desire but denying yourself the one part of it you want most.

at some point i will write the fic where they don't talk to each other post s2 except to argue and once they reach a certain point they fuck because hey, we're already a mess, how much worse can it get?

aziraphale is starved for pleasure because heaven is sterile and empty, and crowley is desperate for comfort and familiarity, so they each get something vital out of it; it's too good to stop.

but.

crowley does draw one line, one boundary he refuses to cross, and that's kissing. mind you, aziraphale wants to kiss him again and again and again, but crowley knows that once he kisses him again he will lose himself in it (or rather that's what he's scared of). he wants to, god, he wants to. but he doesn't

sex, yes, but nothing soft, nothing truly emotionally intimate. crowley bites back every moan that's suspiciously shaped like aziraphale's name and keeps the angel's mouth busy so he doesn't have to hear him gasp his own. they part immediately after, crowley runs because that's what he is good at, he flees or makes aziraphale leaves, and he hates himself for it a little bit more every time he does.

they don't kiss but every once in a while their faces end up close together, so close they're breathing the same air, and it would barely take a flinch to nudge their lips together. the temptation becomes harder to resist and yet crowley closes his eyes and pulls back without fail.

once they kiss, he thinks, then aziraphale will have everything he wants. once he has everything he wants, he won't come back; they'll be done. every time he repeats it to himself it sounds more like the truth and less like a lie, and someone help him, but he'd rather have scraps and touch and skin on skin than nothing at all.

(while they have their gay little issues going on everyone else solves the apocalypse and watches them from afar like

"someone should tell them they're being idiots"

"nah they wouldn't believe you, they will get there eventually."

"i give them two weeks"

"i give them five days")

(it takes them months but once they get there the wave of relief and release is strong enough to cause a two day blackout in the entire london area)

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #i have SUCH a good plot for preventing the second coming #meanwhile they have their gay soap opera running for 1856 episodes and everyone else is watching it from afar

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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🍃🍃🍃

so I can find this later)

AITA for how I handle this certain friendship?

my friend (lets call them A), we used to text them all the time, almost every day, we are good friends and we helped each other many ways.

After a few months, A needed space due to handling a few personal things which included severe depression on top, so it was understandable A was slow to reply, so I'd wait until A is free again or until they text me back. So sometimes this can vary from days to weeks.

I tell A every time no rush and they can reply whenever they can, so I don't make them feel bad or anything and I don't mind waiting for them to reply.

Sometimes, if there is something that happened in between I text A again, just to let them know something I thought they'd like to know.

I thought I was doing the right, but then, I sorta just stopped texting A again and again, I thought they needed their own headspace and I didn't want to annoy them. The last time I had texted A was last year, they never never replied so I simply waited, but now the thing is, it's been almost 5 to 6 months now.

Now, I simply didn't text A these months thinking they needed space and seeing they were active on tumblr, I didn't worry too much but I was also inactive dealing with my problems, I went on unexcepted hiatus every so often. But I did check in, to make sure all my friends including A was ok.

A still hadn't responded to me, even though they were active online posting, I chose to be understanding, they probably didn't want to personally talk and just speak in general to everyone at once.

I won't lie, I did feel suddenly distant in these occurrences, especially seeing A was ok with tagging others or responding to others publicly after A was tagged by someone else, I felt as if I was left a little forgotten, but still I tried to be understanding, even if it hurt.

But now suddenly I see they left on a completely unexpected and indefinite hiatus after subtly stating about broken and failed friendships, part of me feels like A is referring to me and now I'm too afraid to reach out to them again, I really don't want to hurt them. I thought I was giving them the time and headspace but now it seems like I made it all go downhill because I let it drag into months.

I almost feel as if they hate me now, because we did promise to tell each other if ever made the other feel anything negatively we would say so, I didn't say I felt distant because I didn't want to add on top of A's already ongoing problems.

so AITA for how I handle this certain friendship?

#aita #am i the asshole

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canirove · 2 months

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Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 16

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“Liv, you seriously didn't have to buy them anything for Christmas.”

“I’m their favourite aunty, Kennedy. I had to get them something” I say while watching one of the twins try to eat the wrapping paper from one of the presents. “Besides, thinking about what to get them and then going shopping has been one of the most joyful things I've done lately. Who knew buying kids’ stuff could be therapeutic?” I chuckle.

“How are you?” Kennedy asks me. “Like, truly.”

“I have good days and bad days” I shrug. “But the good days have begun to overcome the bad ones.”

And that started just a couple of weeks after what happened between me and Declan in my car. Because what did he do? Make it Instagram official that he and the singer were dating. And what did I do? Have the biggest breakdown known to history.

When Alex showed me their joint post during our lunch break (kind of lame to announce it like that, but who am I to judge), I felt as if the hole in my chest had started to grow at lightning speed, swallowing me completely. I wanted to cry, to scream, to hit something. And I did all that at Tottenham's gym, where I ran to hide myself, and where Micky found me.

“Liv, what are you doing?”

“Looking for something I can hit!” I yell.

“Why?”

“Do you seriously have to ask why?” I laugh.

“Declan…”

“Yes. Him” I say, kicking a yoga mat and making the ones standing next to it fall.

“If you want to hit something, why don't you try this?” Micky says. “It's less harmful, gets the job done, and they won't fire you for destroying the gym.”

“What?” I say, turning around.

“This” he says, holding some boxing gloves. “It has helped me in the past and I think it can help you too.”

That first day all I did was cry and scream while he held the punching bag, letting all my anger go. But when I woke up the next day, my arms feeling so sore I could barely move them, I noticed that the hole was a tiny bit smaller. So I started to meet with Micky in the gym when we both were free, him teaching me how to properly box while I felt like every punch was closing the hole a bit more.

“I'm glad to hear that” Kennedy says. “But you aren't looking that good.”

“Uh?”

“We have matching bags under our eyes, Liv. And last time I checked, you didn't have three children that drove you crazy” she chuckles. “Are you sleeping well?”

“I mean… I'm sleeping a lot more than usual, even taking naps throughout the day. But I still feel tired, it's a weird feeling.”

“Not so weird. I felt like that when… Nah, it can't be.”

“What can't be?”

“I felt like that before I knew I was pregnant with Leo. But it doesn't make any sense because you haven't been with anyone since before the summer, have you?”

“Yeah, that doesn't make any sense” I reply, not really answering her question. “It probably is just stress from these days.”

Too much work, then the training with Micky after not working out for ages, the fact that I'm still emotionally healing, that I'm having to spend Christmas with Alex and his family when things keep being weird between us… That has to be it.

“You could always ask one of the team's doctors to run some tests if that makes you feel better.”

“Nah, there is no need. I'm fine” I smile. “Do you want me to help you with bath time and putting them to bed?”

“Yeah, sure. You take care of Leo, I'll take care of the twins” Kennedy says. But there is something in the way she's looking at me, that tells me that she won't forget so easily about the conversation we just had.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Liv, wait” Madders says behind me.

“Hey” I reply, turning around. “Doctor Smith?”

“Hello” he smiles.

“Great, you know each other.”

“Of course we do, Madders. He works with my dad, remember?”

“Oh, yes. Silly me” he chuckles. “Anyway, he has something to tell you.”

“Me?”

“Your dad and James have mentioned that you've been going through a rough patch and they are worried it may have affected your physical health. That's why they've asked me if I could run some tests and make sure everything is fine.”

Kennedy. She told Madders, of course she did! This is what her look from yesterday meant!

“That's very kind of you, but there is no need.”

“C'mon, Liv. It'll be just a blood test and maybe a peepee one, right?”

“Peepee?” I laugh.

“You know that's how Leo says it and now I do it too without thinking” he shrugs. “But that'll be it, won't it, doctor?”

“Just the basics” he says.

“I'm fine, James. Maybe a bit stressed, but fine” I insist. “It'll pass after the holidays, you'll see.”

“But what if it doesn't?”

“Then I'll say yes to those tests.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise” I sigh. “Now can I please go home? My mum wants me to help her clean around the house, we are hosting this year.”

“Ok, fine. But we have Doctor Smith as our witness. If after Christmas you are feeling like shit…”

“He can run those tests.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You didn't have to wait with me, Madders.”

“What kind of older brother would I be if I left you alone?”

“The not annoying one?”

“Meh, meh, meh” he replies, sticking out his tongue.

I had had to do it. I had had to get the tests done. And why? Because during Christmas things hadn't improved.

I felt sick most mornings, and by dinner time I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. All I wanted to do was to lay down in my bed while watching period dramas and wish I got to dress like a princess. Oh, and speaking of periods… Mine was nowhere to be found. Which has only made the tiny voice that has been in my head since Kennedy told me she had felt this tired when she was pregnant, get louder and louder.

But me having all these symptoms could be just stress. I googled it and it matches. So it has to be that, not that Declan had better aim than all the strikers in the Premier League together after just one time not using any kind of protection.

“Isn't it taking them too long? He said he'll have the results by the end of the day.”

“Maybe they were busy with other stuff” Madders says, resting his hand on my leg and stopping it from moving like crazy.

“Or maybe there is something wrong with me.”

“Liv, no. Don't you dare going there.”

“Then why hasn't he called us yet? Why…”

“Oh, there you are” Doctor Smith says, opening the door of his office. “Sorry for making you wait, but the system went down and it took it a while to recover and allow us to log in.”

“See?” Madders whispers.

“Please come in, Olivia. You can wait here, James.”

“Can't he come with me?” I ask.

“I would prefer to talk with you in private” the doctor says. That's it. There is something wrong with me, I'm dying. Or worse. My suspicions are right. “But if it makes you feel more comfortable…”

“It does. Thank you” I say, holding Madders' arm as if my life depended on it. Which can very well be the case.

“Ok, so” Doctor Smith says once we are sitting down in his office. “All the tests came back perfect, but…”

“But?” I ask, grabbing Madders hand and squeezing it so hard I fear I may break it.

“Olivia… You are pregnant.”

#declan rice #declan rice fanfic #declan rice x reader #declan rice imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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sweetpandorabox · 2 years

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Ron Weasley as a boyfriend ♟️🐀

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨sweetpandorabox୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…⋙

Warnings ⚠️: Slight mentioned of sexual themes and some spicy stuff.

Dating this adorable food-loving ginger could include:

🍗🧣🧑🏻‍🦰

He loves his food and would eat anything and everything if he could, but he likes sharing his food with you and loves to feed you his last bite of food to show how much he loves you.

Super cuddly and likes to lay on your lap but has to make sure that you play with his hair so he can fall asleep.

Studying at the library? Nah, more like making out at the library and getting caught by Madam Pince and getting kicked out.

Molly and Arthur loves you and encourages Ron to convince you to stay with them at the burrow for half of the summer or winter break.

You would probably fight like an old married couple, but that's what most people find adorable between the two of you.

He's definitely a praiser in bed and likes to compliment the hell out of you and tell you how good you feel or how beautiful you are, and he's just generally pretty dominant.

Makes you play wizards chess with him even though he wins every time, he just like seeing you get all worked up and annoyed because he thinks it's super sexy then pull you into an make-out after, making sure you feel better.

He calls you cute nicknames like darling, sweet stuff, cutie, or doll.

Carry your stuff for you and won't let you hold one thing, not even something light. He always makes sure your hands are free to hold his hand instead of carrying something.

Likes when you call him Ronald (only by you), sweetheart, bub, or baby.

His love language is probably physical touch because he just loves to cuddle or have his hand just touching you somewhere because honestly, he can't get enough of you.

You're definitely the first one to say I love you to him, but then he gets all flustered and doesn't know how to act because he's just out of this world excited.

You would, of course, tease him mercilessly (influenced by Fred, George, and Ginny) but always give him a quick kiss to reassure him that you are just joking after he pouts and cross his arms.

He doesn't have a lot of money, but he saves what he got to get you something you really want and like, not worrying about his own interest as he puts you first always.

He's the best at making the coziest, most warm blanket fort for the two of you to be in.

He likes to be involved whenever you're picking something to wear for the day, not because he's stylish but because he likes watching you change and checking you out (every boyfriend ever, I swear).

He compliments you a lot but asks for loads of kisses in return or payment.

Before both of you even got married, you talk about the future a lot with each other and pick out what names you'll be giving to each of your children.

He loves smelling you. His go-to is to kiss the top of your head. That way, he can get a wiff of of your gorgeous smelling shampoo, but if not, a little peck on the neck doesn't hurt because he knows your sprit some of your favorite perfume on that area too (left & right).

He has no tolerance for people being mean to you or those who pick on you. He's quite protective of you no matter what so he can come off as threatening when he finds out people are messing with you.

A/N: Hey guys so I meant to finish off and post a proper Ron Weasley fanfic today but then I realized that I have so much school work and assessments left and right set all at the same time, and that I haven't started most of them so I have to take the L and post more listing style imagines these coming weeks because I just can't write when I'm stressed over school work. But don't worry proper fanfics will be posted soon because I have about 4 more weeks left until term/semester 1 is over and that I'll have my 2 weeks holiday meaning more time to write so I hope you understand x.

Taglist :

@milivanili99 @igncrantbliss

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fritoley · 2 months

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Warrior's Honor Chapter 2: Building the Barriers

Summary: Tensions rise as midnight approaches.

Word Count: 3k

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Iris scratched her discolored face as she rushed through Katolis castle, hurrying to her next post. Emelyn and Soren had returned from their mission a few hours ago, and co-Crownguard had informed her of orders circulating throughout the castle, warning of the impending arrival of the elves. The orders were clear: Prepare for sundown.

"I want every soldier we have present and prepared for combat by sundown, got it?"

Iris stopped, her ears alert for the source of the commanding voice.

"Even those who are off-duty?" someone else asked.

"Yes, even them. Everyone has to be posted and looking for those elves by sundown. Everyone." As the voice continued barking orders, Iris followed it around the corner to find a young woman with auburn hair conversing with an anxious-looking soldier. Emelyn.

"There you are," Iris called as the other soldier saluted Emelyn and dashed off. Emelyn turned to see Iris, then smiled softly. Her eyes were dull with fatigue, and her usually shiny armor tarnished with dust and dirt. "I take it you failed?" Iris asked, joining Emelyn as they walked down the hall together.

Emleyn sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. "Unfortunately, yes. All we did was chase a stupid bug Soren brought."

Iris scoffed. "So Soren found out about your little fear of bugs, huh?" "I'm not afraid of them!" Emelyn burst out. "Just because I think they're a little creepy doesn't mean they scare me!"

"Right," Iris said, unconvinced. "And what about you? You look like you haven’t slept in a week."

"Don't get me started," Emelyn grumbled. "I've been sending soldiers in all kinds of directions. It's a mess." Emelyn crossed her arms, begrudgingly adding, "And the stupid High Mage won't let me report to King Harrow."

Iris threw her head back and barked in laughter. "I'm pretty sure lectures from the High Mage are the least of your problems. Besides, if we fend off the elves--"

"When, Iris," Emelyn interrupted, stepping aside as a group of Crownguard carrying halberds hurried by. "We need to be as optimistic as possible."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Iris dismissed. "When we fend off the elves, you'll have time to talk to Harrow tomorrow morning."

Emelyn didn't answer. As the two Crownguard entered the castle courtyard, Iris saw Millie flying overhead.

"It's almost sundown," Emelyn mumbled. "What would you think if Ezran became king? Like, by tomorrow?"

Iris scoffed. "That little kid? Please. He wouldn't last a week."

"What?" Emelyn asked, sounding almost astonished. "You really think he can't do it?"

"Sure he could, but for how long?" Iris said. "He's, what, nine? There's no way a kid like him could rule. Not without a regent, at least."

Emelyn hummed thoughtfully. "Who do you think would end up as regent? Maybe Cleric Opeli?"

"Nah, she's too by the book," Iris answered. "Lord Viren's pretty sharp, he would know what he's doing."

Emelyn sighed. The day was almost done, and there was still so much to prepare for. Moonshadow elves could be in the kingdom already, waiting for the right moment to strike. Emelyn couldn’t give up now. Not when King Harrow’s life was at stake.

Emelyn looked up and whistled loudly. Millie changed course and flew toward the two Crownguard, landing on Emelyn’s outstretched forearm. She fed the Golden Eagle a small handful of food from the pocket on her hip, speed-walking across the courtyard and leaving a confused Iris behind.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" Iris called.

"I’m going to make sure the elves don’t kill Harrow!" Emelyn called back, releasing Millie back into the sky and brushing her hands off before running back into the castle. Iris watched her disappear from sight, then crossed her arms and scoffed.

"Try-hard.”

A beautiful evening light cast a warm glow over the castle courtyard, highlighting the intricate details of the stonework. Soren's gaze drifted across the scene, eyes lingering on the shadows. Shadows. They were long and inviting, reminiscent of the stolen exchanges he and Emelyn shared in their youth. But not today. Today, those very same shadows were cold and secretive. They were hiding something… evil.

He clenched his fingers around the hilt of the king's sword, adorned with beautiful Katolian engravings. The weight of the blade served as a reminder of tonight's mission— failure was not an option.

The doors to the Throne Room opened, revealing a fully-armored King Harrow flanked by four Crownguard. Soren stepped away from the window and presented the king with his sword, which Harrow accepted solemnly. As Harrow and his guards made their way to the courtyard toward his chambers, Soren felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked back to see Iris posted behind him.

"Iris!" Soren murmured. "Where's Red-- I mean, Emelyn? She was supposed to be here."

"She went to recheck defenses and do, like, 15 more perimeter checks," Iris said with an exasperated sigh. "I'm sure she'll meet us at the tower."

As Harrow and the Crownguard approached the tower, they spotted Emelyn at the base of the stairs, her helmet in hand. Her face was set with determination, yet her eyes betrayed an underlying sense of anxiety.

"Your Majesty," she said, nodding in acknowledgment. "I've bolstered defenses to four times the usual. If the elves are in the kingdom, we'll find them."

"Thank you, Emelyn," Harrow acknowledged, and the other members of the Crownguard began to move past him and ascend the stairs. Soren hung back, hesitating.

"Emelyn," Harrow started, then sighed heavily. "I'm sure we both know how this will end."

"Of course," Emelyn said promptly. "With your survival."

Harrow smiled ruefully. For just a moment, Soren saw Emelyn's face flicker with emotion. Sadness. Anger. Respect. Before Soren could figure out which, she had gathered her composure once more.

Harrow opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't seem to find the right words. After a moment, he rested his hand on her shoulder and said, "You always did have that blind determination. Don't lose it."

Soren saw the emotion in Emelyn's face again and figured it out. She was on the verge of tears.

Emelyn pressed her lips together, not daring to cry in front of the king. She breathed deeply, looked Harrow in the eye, and answered, "Yes, sir!"

Harrow smiled, patting her shoulder, then turned to the stairs leading up to his chambers. As he passed her by, Harrow glanced back, speaking softly.

"Please, Emelyn. Take care of my sons."

Soren watched as Harrow disappeared behind the staircase before glancing at Emelyn. Her grip tightened around her helmet, her eyes lowering as she grimaced.

"Is Millie still on watch?" Emelyn asked, pushing her emotions down. Soren closed the distance between them and crossed his arms.

"Yeah. I saw her flying around a few minutes ago."

Emelyn nodded. A moment of silence passed.

"...You okay?" Soren asked. Emelyn sighed. The sky turned orange as the sun set, turning the clouds pink.

"I'm fine. It's just… I'm afraid of what could happen if we fail."

"We're not going to fail," Soren said confidently, uncrossing his arms and placing a hand on her shoulder. Emelyn looked up at him. "You got it? We're gonna beat those elves, and that'll be the end of it."

Emelyn chuckled. "Yeah. And then a dragon will swoop down from the sky, and you'll somehow figure out how to slay it so you can brag to Claudia."

"Exactly," Soren replied with a grin.

Emelyn laughed. As the moon rose behind the tower, it sent a massive shadow on the castle grounds, causing a glow on the Crownguards' faces. Two Crownguard appeared on the opposite side of the courtyard, approaching their posts.

Finally, Soren said, "I better… head to my post."

"Yeah," Emelyn answered absentmindedly. Soren glanced at her for a moment longer, then turned to leave. Emelyn listened as his heavy boots receded up the stairs. Just then, She inhaled sharply and turned toward him.

"Soren?"

Soren halted upon hearing his name and looked back to see Emelyn staring at him, her hand slightly extended towards him. She had tied her auburn hair into a low bun, a change from her usual ponytail. Her side-swept bangs fluttered slightly in the breeze, highlighting the bright red streaks of dye framing her honey-brown eyes.

"...Be careful, okay?" Emelyn said.

"I should be saying that to you. They'll attack you first, after all," Soren answered. Emelyn chuckled.

"Still, though."

Soren grinned. He nodded, saluted her with two fingers, and continued up the stairs.

"Don't die, Red," he mumbled as he climbed out of Emelyn's sight.

Emelyn noticed the moon shining brightly overhead and realized it was likely nearing midnight. Her eyes were becoming heavy, her body longing for sleep. She yawned, bringing a hand to her mouth, but the sound of footsteps made her freeze. She peered out to see a shadowy figure approaching. Her hand shot to her sheathed sword, her heart pounding, her mind racing. Was it the Moonshadow elves? Why was there only one? Or were the others–

"Sir!" the male soldier on her right hissed, eyes wide. "It's Lord Viren!"

"What?!" Emelyn narrowed her eyes, focusing on the figure. Sure enough, the High Mage's gray robes illuminated in the moonlight overhead, his relic staff gleaming. Emelyn's stomach dropped at the sight of the mysterious woven basket in his hands.

"Move aside," Viren ordered, his brows furrowing in irritation at the mere sight of the auburn Crownguard. Emelyn crossed her arms.

"What's in the basket?" she asked suspiciously, looking the High Mage up and down. Viren glanced down at the basket's woven lid and pulled it further away from her.

"I have found a solution to the problem we are facing. It will ensure the safety of Harrow, unlike your sword-fighting abilities," stated Viren, with a slight inclination of his head. Emelyn felt the urge to draw her sword and prove her skills to the High Mage but decided against it. She was about to reply when a disturbing thought crossed her mind, causing her to freeze. Viren noticed her sudden change in demeanor and looked at her with a puzzled expression as she stepped back, glowering at him.

Emelyn swallowed hard, her hand moving to her sword as she said slowly, "...How do I know you're not a Moonshadow elf in disguise?"

Both Crownguard behind Emelyn snapped to attention. The female on her right gripped her weapon, ready for an attack. The other soldier had been dozing against his halberd and almost dropped it as he was startled by the mention of Moonshadow elves.

"I beg your pardon?" Viren snarled, stepping menacingly toward Emelyn. "Do you really think a Moonshadow elf would simply walk into Katolis, assuming we wouldn't have put counter-measures in place? I apologize," he continued, his lip curling as he addressed the soldiers flanking Emelyn. The male soldier to her left turned beet red. "if your squadron was not informed of the code we implemented to alleviate your concerns. Rather, that issue falls under your responsibility, further revealing your incompetence as a captain and proper Crownguard."

Emelyn swelled with anger. How could he-- how dare he-- in the darkest hours of Katolis, when the kingdom was on the brink of a royal crisis, have the time to insult her as if mentioning the weather? Emelyn shook with rage, her mind racing for something to say, but she was speechless. Despite the frustration, she took a deep breath and composed herself, reminding herself of the bigger picture. At least she knew the man standing before her was indeed Lord Viren.

"...Fine," Emelyn muttered, stepping aside as she glared at the violet jewel adorning the front of the High Mage's robes. Viren stepped past her, only curtly replying, "Thank you."

Emelyn stared hard at the other side of the courtyard, lost in thought. The soldier to her right shifted her halberd to her other hand and stepped forward, gently placing a hand on Emelyn's shoulder. "Sir? Everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Emelyn answered after a moment. "Keep your eyes peeled for the elves." The soldier gazed at Emelyn, then glanced at the other soldier to Emelyn's right. He shrugged.

The female soldier glared at him, then turned to Emelyn. "Don't think too much about it, Sir. You were right to assume. Honestly, I would've done the same."

Emelyn sighed, ruminating. The full moon's light beamed down on the three soldiers, reminding them of the attack yet to come.

If only I had thought of something to say, Emelyn thought bitterly. Gritting her teeth, she groaned and put a hand over her face, covering one eye.

Then she heard hurried footsteps. She froze, then glanced behind her at the other Crownguard. Judging by their wary eyes darting along the grounds, they had also heard it. Emelyn started to pull her sword out but stopped when she saw only a young boy running toward her. She squinted, then exclaimed when she realized who it was.

"Prince Callum?!"

Callum tried to run past without a word, but she grabbed his sleeve and quickly pulled him before her.

"Callum, what in the world are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the Banther Lodge!" Emelyn said, wrestling with him as he tried to pull away.

"Sorry, but I can't talk. I need to see the king!" Callum shouted, struggling to pull her hand away from his jacket.

"What in the world could be so important that you have to walk up to his chambers when the elves could arrive at any minute-- CALLUM!"

Callum slammed his body into Emelyn, causing her to loosen her grip on his sleeve. Callum yanked his arm away and raced up the stairs two at a time.

"IRIS! STOP HIM!" Emelyn screamed.

Halfway up the staircase, Iris heard the commotion. She looked to see Callum running past the confused Crownguard. Iris started to step out and stop him, but Callum saw it coming. He ducked under her arm, but she grabbed his scarf. The force of Callum running pulled Iris forward, and she tripped on a star. He pulled his scarf out of her hand, continuing up the stairs.

Iris swore to herself, turning around. The other Crownguards started talking amongst themselves, trying to figure out what had happened.

Emelyn listened to the commotion, groaning in frustration. She started to climb the stairs three at a time to catch up to Callum, but one of the Crownguard stopped her.

"Sir!" she said urgently.

"What, what?!"

"Look!" she whispered.

Emelyn froze. She whipped around, her eyes darting along the terrain. A whirl in the wind. A crack of a boot on bricks. Sure, she heard it, but the question was where it came from.

Emelyn pulled her sword out, her eyes darting along the perimeter to figure out where the elves could've been if they were even there. She shifted her blade to one hand and used her other to readjust her helmet.

"This is the last time I'll ever wear a helmet," Emelyn said, her voice barely above a whisper. Just then, an arrow shot out of nowhere and hit the Crownguard on Emelyn's left.

"What the…?" Emelyn started, staring as he collapsed with a hiss of pain. Desperately now, Emelyn's eyes returned to the setting, straining them to find the source of the arrow. Her hands trembled, her sword vibrating with excitement, and she tightened her grip around its hilt.

She then noticed a shimmer in the distance, moving toward her. Another appeared, then another. As they came closer, Emelyn watched as they became five translucent figures with pointy ears, horns, and weapons sprinting toward them.

"Keep it quick, Andromeda," Runaan reminded her.

"Of course," Andromeda answered, gripping her curved blade as she clashed with Emelyn's sword. She kept the lead Crownguard occupied as Runaan and Skor passed by. Callisto quickly finished the other Crownguard with a sweep of his double-bladed naginata. Ram hung back as backup.

Emelyn glanced behind her to see three wisps of figures running up the staircase. She averted her attention back to her battle just in time to see Andromeda jump back and Ram charge at her with his daggers. She raised her sword to block one blade, then grabbed at what she guessed was his other wrist. She slammed her knee into his torso, and Ram pushed her away, gripping his abdomen. Emelyn stepped back, watching her opponents like a hawk.

I can barely see them, Emelyn thought nervously. I have to finish them before they can inflict any more damage.

"Are you alright?" Andromeda asked Ram, raising her blade and glaring at Emelyn.

"Yes. She's more skilled than I thought," Ram answered. "But I have an idea."

Ram muttered something, and Andromeda nodded with a smirk. Emelyn twirled her sword, readying herself as Ram ran toward her. Ram raised his daggers to attack but jumped over Emelyn at the last second, throwing her off guard.

Emelyn spun around, expecting to see Ram before her, but he ran up the staircase after the other three elves. Emelyn stared after him momentarily, confused, then thought about Andromeda. She started to turn, realizing that the elf was already standing before her.

Emelyn froze as a flash of silver slashed by her. As her eyes came in and out of focus, she noticed the last remaining elf standing before Emelyn, the end of her blade dripping in blood. Her blood.

"Humans," Andromeda sneered. Emelyn looked down at her chest to see the giant blood stain growing on her tunic, starting on her right hip and cutting through to her left shoulder. Emelyn staggered momentarily, her hands raising to the wound before she fell to her knees, gasping for air.

Andromeda knelt in front of Emelyn and raised her hand. She gently lifted the Crownguard's pained face, then grabbed her jaw, further constricting her breath. "Pathetic," Andromeda scoffed. Emelyn yanked her face away.

"You-" Emelyn gasped, glaring at Andromeda. "You won't win."

Andromeda chuckled, then stood. She raised her foot and placed it on Emelyn's chest.

"We already have," Andromeda gibed, kicking Emelyn. Emelyn lay sprawled on the ground, writhing in pain. Andromeda turned, glanced back at Emelyn in pure hatred, then followed her comrades up to Harrow's chambers.

"No…!" Emelyn gasped, trying to climb to her feet. She looked up at the staircase as her vision blurred and watched Andromeda climb out of her sight

"Soren…" Emelyn murmured, wincing, before everything faded to black.

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0shewrites0 · 2 years

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Excuse my language but what the fuck is that Disaster Recoupling speech from Lucas BECAUSE "Bitch if you don't like me. Don't choose me." The hell? Leave me alone. Stick with Marisol. At this point I would rather Ibrahim choose me and I would feel more appreciated.

*Clears throat*

Sorry I got distracted. I originally came to ask if is it just me or is Lucas kinda....petty when MC doesn't show him much interest. But the speech made it worse and threw me off again. This y'all man? Damn.....

Lol, you can rant in my inbox anytime (as long as it's respectful) 🫶🏼

Anyway, you would really prefer Ibrahim over Lucas? Please explain, because I feel like Rahim is actually much worse. He really goes "I feel so safe with you" and "I could see this going somewhere" and then he brings Shannon back from CA saying and I quote,

“But I’m not going to put that above a shot at a real relationship. It’s like Violet Man says… ‘Sometimes being a hero means taking a risk’.” 🤡🤡

Excuse me???

You've known Shannon for all of three days and you call what you have with her a "real relationship" when you've been with me for about two weeks and found it hard to open up? And then he dumps her for Jo without even trying to make it work. Nah, sorry, but at least Lucas never makes any promises. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now, what's going on with his DR speech?

The thing is, and I explained this in another post here: if you tried to get Lucas to stay, but had to tell the girls that you wanted Henrik to stay (because of course you had to), Lucas doesn't think it's him you really want. So he tries to get over his crush on MC by focusing his attention on Hope instead, who he fancies as well!

You're not wrong, he's a bit petty when you don't show much interest, but that's not even ooc. He's used to having all eyes on him and then rejecting girls anyway. So when MC ignores him, it's a huge blow to his ego, but you can say that about almost every boy on this show. Lucas may just not be able to hide it as well because he's brutally honest and the king of sarcasm on top of it. Of course he's going to constantly make subtle digs at MC, but I find it funny tbf.

So what does this mean for us now?

It's SO CLEAR that Lucas has been fancying MC since he entered the villa, but he also fancies Hope. So idk about you, but wouldn't you do the same?

After all, he knows his interest in MC isn't reciprocated, so why should he settle for her when he can have Hope instead?

(By the way, if you eavesdrop on Noah and Priya's conversation after Operation Nope Noah will hint that Lucas and Hope spent a lot of time together and it pissed him off, so I reckon Lucas thought he really had a chance at the next recoupling)

He's not there to make friends, he's not Bobby, he's not a people pleaser and so he won't even try to be polite. Especially if you got lots of frowny faces during interactions with him.

#litg #litg s2 #litg lucas koh #litg rahim #litg Lucas and his speech at the DR #he’s always gonna be my man #he’s the loml please 😩

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policemanofprincesspark · 8 months

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I'm not sure how true that is anymore. Every time Louis talks about F on twitter as an example, "Freddie" trends, and it takes a while to find any replies under Louis's tweets that aren't gushing over Louis and F.//

This is true I noticed that louis tweet saying F had a lovely birthday got many more likes than any of his other tweets that day. I know larries who think they split up for a few months in 2015 and dated other people and Briana was one of them. They say they see a belly in the pic at the Christmas table and ask why she put on so much weight before F's birth and lost it just weeks later never to gain again

It's tough because F does look like Louis.

Yes, he does, and anyone denying it is just scared.

I'm currently working on a post that contains research and my reaching out to certain organizations for information related to these syndicated articles:

(There's more where that came from).

They all came out about one year before Briana became "pregnant." They look like casting calls.

Here's a post I made talking about why Brett can't be the father and why F isn't being photoshopped. All you have to do in regards to the Brett theory is look at Austin. Everyone says Austin and F look so alike, but they don't. They look wildly different, and not only do they look wildly different, but F happens to look a lot like Louis.

So if Sony was behind babygate and they were looking for a kid or a sperm donor to make a kid, why would they go for someone whose kid looks nothing like Louis? And if they did go for Brett, how is it possible that F "just so happened" to come out looking identical to Louis and nothing like Austin? A lucky coincidence?

Nah.

The babygate theory has been ruined by who I dub "brettgaters." Look at how many people have started believing F is Louis's son because they realize he looks so much like Louis. To come to the conclusion that F must be Louis's son just because they're identical is weak, imo. Why has no one considered the angle of Sony hiring a Louis lookalike to be the sperm donor and create F? It makes sense, it's possible, and it's the exact thing they would do if they wanted this to last for years and needed to convince people that F is Louis's son.

It's no use trying to figure out who the father is, because we won't. Drop the Brett and photoshop leads and consider this new one.

Also check these companies dedicated to finding and selling celebrity lookalikes:

You all need to remember when Louis wore that Billie Jean shirt in the Back To You teaser, and consider this line in the song to be the most vital part:

"Then showed a photo my baby cried, his eyes were like mine"

#ask #babygate #lookalike sperm donor #brettgaters #larry stylinson

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bellamyblake · 2 years

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makes me sad how little bellarke fics are being made/updated nowadays :( I know it’s natural for fandoms to slow down once the show ends but tbh I didn’t expect it to be this bad, as an author yourself do you think it might be due to the terrible show ending or is there also lack of engagement from the readers?

I think a lot of people pulled away after the finale, that's true but there's also some who did that and after some time came back upon realizing that this final isn't *their* final. Of course that does play some role into it and I understand that people aren't like me, at least not most, I can just ignore it and keep doing what I love, writing fanfic and making gifs. I just love doing that. But others can't because of this and I get it. I've always been able to pull myself away from the narrative, even when the show was still going on. Also over the years I see some stuff differently and come to consider points I haven't before but most people don't do that.

I think part of it is also the culture we live in nowadays. When I first came on Tumblr someone having a multifandom blog was like nah, I won't follow that, I want one specific fandom or two not a whole bunch of them. Now things are different-almost everyone's multifandom and people jump from one thing to another in matter of weeks if not months. It's just the new culture, mostly inspired by the Netflix-and-the-alike providing content. The competition is to post major show after major show or remake something or to make a continuation or a prequel of something that people loved. but the idea is that people loved that one specific OLD thing and they go there because they are nostalgic.

Overall I think the generation changed, and younger folks but not just prefer to jump from one thing to the other without sticking to something. I personally and I know there's also others like me even if they're not a majority, like old stuff, the way things used to be, one episode every week, one or two major fandoms and other stuff they liked. I know that I am like that, I prefer rewatching older shows than watching anything new that doesn't really speak to me and move on to the next a month or two after. I still find more sense in shows that come weekly like All American, SEAL team and others that I follow aka cable shows, than any dragon stuff or period drama things or witch stuff that cast one or two famous names to get the major viewing and hook people up enough to watch their stuff, drop two seasons and then stop it. ( I also have interesting observations on the handmaid's tale and i make them only because I know bruce miller, the executive was the one who was in the writer's room for the 100 and he was the reason why the show got better over time but I find flaws in him too and I find some interesting conclusions there when I watch for myself, anyway that's not important)

I think it just depends on what people like nowadays. I know not as many post fics or headcanons or gifs about the show but I still love writing my fic every day and getting something out there. I love those characters, I love the actors who played them and follow their careers. Most people don't do that. And I think that's one reason why. Then again sometimes after a bad ending some time needs to pass before people can start creating for it again. Just to shake things off. I think the core remains that there's no other couple like bellarke in any other show I've watched. There's similarities and people find them in couples I don't and didn't even back when the 100 was still on (say like Math/ias and N/na from what is it now Sh/adow and bone when I remember the bellarke fandom hated that couple back when the books were out but somehow ppl compare them to bellarke now?? which super weird). I've seen some authors get inspired and write for them again but yes not as many do anymore.

With fanfic there's also that people tell you how to write your fic now. It's not like before in FF.net when you posted and there were no tags, no warnings nothing like that and if people didn't like something they didn't read it.

Simple as that.

For example I'm now afraid to post new chapters of my ark!AU cause I know what I've written and I'm certain people will yell at me about it and that just makes me not want to post it. Other's comments are just *update* and that does little for your motivation.

There's also the fact that there's no fanfic blog to promote writers in this fandom nowadays, even if they're not as many, there's just nothing to bring them together. I know of ppl on twitter who write who I don't see here but they post chapters. There's also no fanfic awards or anything like it to help promote those who write. They're not as few as we think. I believe ppl post and they post good stuff but no many know of them.

Then there's also the issue of smut. A bellarke fic with 90% smut that is posted now gets 10k hits. One that is modern AU or something else gets say 500 hits. So there's the issue of that too on a deeper level.

Overall, I know the fandom is smaller now but frankly, I enjoy that. I don't have the rush to compete with something (I always did better on hiatuses than on showdays) and I know it's something that it's over but I am content creating for it even for 20 people here and 50 on twitter and 30 on Ao3. I'm in no interest of following big netflix productions. I watch them but they do little for me. I just don't feel the soul in them. Maybe i'm old but that's just me.

#answered #sorry nonnie #i could've kept going i guess #but that's it #bellarke #bellarke fandom #bellarke fanfiction

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lord-of-hollows · 1 month

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I just saw a post that said that people who don't like the idea of signing a contract before sex should be the ones signing a contract before sex.

Y....yeah, but nah.

I don't know how old a lot of the users on this website are. And I don't know how much sex any of them are having. I don't want to make assumptions, because that stands a little too close to unfair character judgement for me to be comfortable doing it.

Background on me just to lay out my bias, I am neurodivergent, straight male, approaching my 30s.

Im also coming at this from the perspective of someone who has signed a consent contract for a BDSM "free use" scene. I won't go into the terms in great detail but it was three months in advance, everyone involved relieved a copy and was required to get a sexual health screening and be vetted by other participants before it happened. I was cleared and healthy, vetted by other participants and backed out at the last minute because after thinking about it I didn't want to. While I found the idea arousing, I realised I didn't want to actually do it. That it's okay if some fantasies stay just fantasies and the reality probably isn't equal to the idea in my head.

So speaking purely from my own experience so as to not make assumptions about others, as a man I will refuse to believe a woman is interested in me until she has basically taken that fact and beat me over the head with it. The idea of having a consent contract on hand ready to go feels blindingly fucking arrogant. As if assuming women would want sex with me is a step too far. And that's my own toxic feelings of worthlessness coming out to say hello and I understand that it's probably not a good mindset to be in.

So every time a woman has been interested in me, no matter how obvious in hindsight, has been a surprise to me. For my current girlfriend I did not believe I had a thing going on with her until a few moments after she literally jumped on me to kiss me out of nowhere. Well, out of nowhere to me but she'd been planning on it for a while.

Strictly speaking, she did not have consent to do that, not verbal or written, she couldn't have because I didn't even realise that was on the table. However, I'm glad she did that and it's literally never been a problem.

Now this isn't to say im not attracted to the people I have sex with enough to pursue them, I simply believed they didn't want me specifically to pursue them, so I didn't. I have been very attracted to almost everyone I've been with, yes I've had drunken mistakes I regret and they do make me feel kind of gross when I look back on them. I took this as a reason to watch how much I'm drinking and who I'm drinking with.

Heres an example of how thick-headed I can be: When I was 22, one of my exes before we started dating would check the time by grabbing my arm and looking at my watch, sneakily stroking my forearm and holding my hand sometimes. I'd just sit there thinking "Why didn't she just ask the time?" But you just know if she wanted the time she could have just looked at her phone. In hindsight that much is obvious but at the time I was oblivious. At the time I just thought she was my new friend who had a weird sense of when to touch people.

Another ex, think I was 24 or 25? She would constantly say things like "I'm tired of being single I'm ready to start dating again. I think what I want is a man exactly like you." Can you guess what my response was? "I know! I'll introduce you to Logan. He's so much like me, people think we're brothers. Plus it's been a while for him too." Took me weeks to figure out she didn't want to meet Logan.

I don't want to give more examples because it's bringing up some memories of people who were very important to me who just aren't in my life anymore and that's kind of depressing. Suffice it to say that flirting with me is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a baby. I'm glad for the interaction with another person but I will not understand what's happening at all.

And that's how most of my romantic life and sex life had been. I'm hanging out with a new friend, having a good time, and then they're suddenly kissing me or pulling at my belt. Almost none of the sex I have ever had (outside of very, very specific instances of BDSM play) has been something that I knew was coming or something that I initiated.

Strictly speaking, you could say that I have not consented to most of the sex I've had. You would be right but personally I don't have a problem with it. I just understand that sexually I'm a very passive person. Sex has never been a high priority for me, even when I was a teenager flooded with all them teenaged emotions. The sexual feelings at that age were often an annoyance to me that I had to deal with so I could focus on something else. It's only now as an adult I've found a way to make my sexual experiences and emotions something that feels good to indulge in.

I don't have a problem with how my sex life has been, however if the idea of both partners needing to know beforehand that they were going to be sexual became something prevalent in society, my sex life would be so different I just... I don't think I'd have the positive mindset towards it that I do now.

More than that I feel like a lot of my difficulties understanding when someone is interested in my are related to my neurodivergence. I'm very willing to accept people testing boundaries not as them seeing what I'm okay with, but just as them having different boundaries than other people and not thinking about it further than that. I feel like the idea of a consent contract outside of incredibly specific scenarios (thinking BDSM play and/or group sex) would exclude people like me from sexuality, by that I mean people who don't pick up on the social cues that someone is interested in you and who don't deliberately pursue sex.

#Consent #Sexuality #Consent contracts #Rant

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easily-bullied · 1 month

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wow I'm back two years later. I wanted to do some writing, get things out of my head and onto the page about the latest things that are bothering me. and then I read that last post and it made me want to laugh because... my mom died like 3 months after I wrote that wow that girl didn't know what was about to hit her.

perspective

hind sight

2 more years. 34 (lol 'im a thirty year old' nah bitch u were about to turn 32) and used to hell. shit I was coddled. I felt strong and I look at her like oh babes! champagne problems. but now I'm also comparing and it's like, well shit, I got some places. we moved. I had 2 semi serious flings (one was supposed to be the thrust of this post, it probably still will be) new job, new friends, new haunts, new furniture new anxieties same anxieties. rediscovering some thing I loved, finding ways to love someone, loving new parts of me.

ok is that enough of a through line? for the no one reading this. I wanna talk about the thing I came here for. let's get some stuff out.

I fell in love

I think I fell in love

I tried to fall in love and it might have worked

I looked at something that I could love and I said 'go and do it'

and that thing was like 'hey this is probably a bad idea' and I said 'yup, I hear you. I know.' and then I said quietly to myself 'love harder and maybe it'll work out. I bet if you just keep running and don't slow down you can fix this.' and I nodded at them and I nodded at my friends as they counseled me and still I whispered to myself 'no we should keep going'

what does that mean?? can that really just mean I'm that desperate to be loved? can it not mean that maybe this love was real and it should be cherished and missed? like it was supposed to happen and it's a cosmic wrong that needs to be righted? wouldn't that explain some of this feeling?

every day I'm white knuckling it. I want to text them even this second. hell I hope I'll convince myself it's a good idea by the time I'm done typing.

is it easier to think of not me? is that why?

at least im starting to forgive myself for my mistakes. or at least im convincing myself that they're being forgiven. and I bet they are! minor shit. shit I apologized for. profusely. and genuinely. real remorse. how do I be accountable? I respect the boundaries. at least the ones that I can assume. a few months they said. it's been 2 weeks. I'm dying

ok so let's say they come back. they say they missed me. they say they love me. what's that look like. what do I want. I want to see them happy and comfortable. I want them to thrive. I want them making art. I want them smiling and laughing. I want me feeling appreciated, I want me feeling adored and supported. I want to feel not alone. I want someone I can lean on. who looks forward to the times I need their strength cause it makes them feel strong and needed. that's who I need.

is that someone they are? it's hard to know I guess. it was only a few months. I feel like they would want to be able to be that person. but maybe just not yet. that would make sense to me. I can see that needing time. I can see that time being helpful. even if it's not for that express purpose. I can see it being the outcome.

would they see it in themselves? trust themselves to be it? I guess that's not up to me and I can't know it.

ok so what if they don't come back. are you going to wallow again? in three months still be sad? why were we sad before the relationship. why were we sad in it? I just don't feel real enough. I don't feel filled in. I feel like a first draft. I am one. I guess it all is. I don't think about it. I don't examine. I'm afraid to look. I don't feel like I have permission??

what would calm me down? knowing what they want? but they don't know. so that can't be what I need

knowing I'll be ok. knowing I won't be alone

ok let's think about that. so you really actually think you're unlovable? no

you know you're kinda great

it's about finding someone that makes you feel it when you can't feel it yourself. that exists. I've seen that. I won't break that next time. I'm better than I was

I'm good enough. I've always been good enough. how I'm better. only 34. 20 years. 20 long years. and I still won't even be 55. that's not bad. lots can happen in a year. boy oh boy lots and lots

where was I last August? I had just moved here. I would been just finished having my birthday. a lot anxious. wow I was looking to have a hot girl summer and have sex and then I realized I was too afraid. it wasn't time yet. ok so now I've had sex a bunch in the last few months. been in a couple dates. found a new type that I like. been with other trans people. felt seen and accepted. it's not a miracle when that happens. it just means it's with other people like me. people who are wonderful and beautiful and different and thought about why.

it's hot that you know who you are. even if you aren't finished. you went further than a lot of others.

the way they looked at you was real. you both know that was real. it doesn't matter what's coming. I can't control that. but it was real back then. that happened. and it felt so good and made everything feel better and it soothed you. and there's people who are dying to look at you that way again. maybe even that same person. but regardless you will have it

and it's with the knowledge that you can love them back in a way that you're proud of. that makes you feel like a whole. see your fullness as a woman, as a lover, as a caretaker, as a pillar, as a mother. all there. in me. swirling around. like how is that not the only thing I can think of? like holy shit look at you Momo. the fullness of you, the person you were SO afraid of being and now I'm it all day every day and like it just all slipped on exactly fitting. a slip, built for your body. all there.

Ollie loves you too. so don't be too worried. and also hey the last blog post was funny!

#transfem

0 notes

lunamadhatter99 · 2 years

Text

Panic

Part 2

Here's part 2, the first chapter didn't get much love BUT I'll keep posting because.. because I want to.😂 especially for those who liked it😉😘

Chapter summary: the first challenge and some interactions between our reader and Dodge.

Chapter warnings: nothing I can think of this time🤷🏻‍♀️

Tag list: @jillo0315 @one-edgy-bitch @shenevertricks1831 @stuckinthesmalldoor @girlygirl-20 @mixed-theater-faisty-tings

The next day I'm not the first one to arrive at work, when I enter I find Dodge already cleaning the tables.

"Did you already do anything or you left something to do for me too?" I joke.

"No, I did everything. You can go home" he says jokingly.

"Nah, I'll stay so I can pretend to work and get my checks" I reply.

"Ooh smart" he says looking at me.

"As always" I wink at him.

I go change and get back to tidy up behind the counter and check the coffee machine.

"How was the party?" He casually ask while he re-fills the sugar jars.

"Eh.. a party. Not really my place, but Natalie insisted all week for me to go" I answer.

"So nothing interesting happened?"

"I.. made a bet"

"You.. you made a bet?" He asks, slightly laughing.

"Yeah..."

"Don't tell me"

"Ray challenged me... if he wins panic I'll be his girlfriend" I explain.

"Oh god" he laughs.

"Don't laugh" I tell him, holding back my own laugh.

"We're gotta make sure he doesn't win then" he says.

"We? Would you help me?" I ask.

"Sure, I won't let you ruin your life with a dick like him" he jokes, though his smile is almost embarrassed.

"You're a lifesaver" I say, going back to checking the coffee machine.

The clients start to come in so we just work, occasionally talk and commenting the clients.

After a while Heather's comes in.

"Hey" I greet her. "What's that defeated face?"

"I got fired." She simply says.

"What?" I'm surprised. "But you're-"

"The only one who actually does anything? I know"

"I'm sorry to hear that, screw them you can do better, can I get you anything?"

"Just a coke thanks" she answers.

"Coming" I say grabbing a glass.

As I'm putting the ice in the glass Dodge comes out, starting to pour the coke for me.

"Hi" he says "You're Heather, right? Dodge"

"Yeah, I know who you are. You're the new guy"

"Well, it's been year" he looks at me, laughing softly.

I smile at him, shrugging and serving Heather the coke.

"Everyone here has known each other from diapers, so the new guy is pretty big news" she says.

"Told you, nothing happens around here" I agree."Carp is actually the-"

"Capital of nothing. Nothing happening, nothing changing" Heather finishes for me, to which I nod, then I turn around cleaning some glasses.

"What about panic?" Dodge asks.

He knows about it, I told him pretty much everything I know. He's just teasing, I think, to see how other reacts.

"There is no such thing" Heather says.

No one talk about panic. No one wants to. No one can, actually.

"Then how'd those two kids die last summer?" Dodge asks raising his voice. He probably wants to know more.

"Whoa, keep your voice down"

"Oh so it is real" he lowers his voice again "you know I thought Ray was just shaking me down at first" he turn to me when I turn around myself, then look back at Heather" 'a dollar a day, everyday that school is in session' but then when I saw that everyone else had to pay in.."

He looks at me "so, how does it work? When does it start?"

"We wait for the judges to send out a signal, which is different every year" I explain.

"And what.. we're just supposed to wait until then?"

"Pretty much" I nod.

"We're really supposed to forget about it" Heather speaks up.

"Why?" Dodge look at her again.

"We're not supposed to talk about it, the cops know about the game and they know that Jimmy and Abby were competing. You could get in trouble for just watching" she says the last part looking at me, probably to convince me not to play.

Suddenly the door bell jingles and the Sheriff himself enters.

Dodge put the menu in front of him and grabs a glass for the water.

"Miss Nill" he greets Heather, while taking his hat off.

"Sheriff" she answers smiling awkwardly.

"Miss L/n" he nods.

"Hi Sheriff"

"Dodge" he greets him too "may I sit with the cool kids?" He jokes.

"Go for it" Heather answers after sending me an awkward look.

Sheriff Cortez sits and asks Dodge about his mother.

"She's working the night shift" Dodge answers quickly "can I get you something?"

"Let me get a root beer" he points.

I give Dodge a glass and turn back to the Sheriff who's looking at Heather papers.

"You job hunting?" He asks her.

"Begging" she specifies.

"You know, I'll bet your luck is gonna change when they finish the warehouse. I keep hearing they're gonna break ground any day, so.." he assures her.

Heather chuckles.

"They've been 'breaking through ground any day' since we were in eight grade" Heather say standing up to get out.

"Well good luck" the Sheriff tells her.

"Better get back to it" she answers.

"Good luck Heather" I tell her smiling.

"Thanks, bye" she waves at me before exiting the caffè.

"What about your aunt, uh?" Cortez asks me.

"The usual, she's somewhere... doing... something" I answer simply.

"I see.."

"Yeah" I say wiping the counter.

There's silence for a while, me and Dodge cleaning and the Sheriff drinking his beer.

After the Sheriff says his goodbye and all the customers are gone me and Dodge are alone to close the café, and we hear fireworks outside as we walk out.

"It's starting" I tell him. "Guess I'll see you at Pilot's Point" I take a deep breath.

"Definitely" he send me a reassuring smile before we separate ways heading home.

I change into my bikini, then put on some shorts and a light jacket and head out again.

I'll meet Natalie and Bishop there for sure, maybe Heather too.. if Natalie convinced her to come.

"Hey" I say to Bishop and Natalie when I finally spot them.

"Hey yourself" Bishop smiles.

"Hi, nervous?" Natalie asks me.

"Actually, no. You?"

"A bit" she answers.

"This is the easiest challenge, no need to be nervous" I reassure her.

"Yeah.. yeah you're right. It's gonna be fine" she says.

"Yeah, I wish you two change your mind, sure, but it's gonna be fine" Bishop tells her.

"No turning back now" I say.

"Well.. technically you still can... not jump" he points out.

I slightly shove him.

I see Dodge standing by himself, as we lock eyes I wave at him, he waves back.

Before I could even think of walking towards him, Diggins' voice through the bullhorn catches everyone's attention.

"May I have your attention?" He starts "welcome to panic!"

Everybody cheers.

"My name is Diggins, and this summer I will be your host with the most. This year the winner of Panic is gonna take home the grand prize of $50,000!"

More cheering.

"That's the biggest pot ever, last year was only $30,000" Natalie says.

"You all know the rules" Diggins continues" what happens at a challenge, stays at a challenge, so I don't want to see any posting, tweeting or gramming about it, no exceptions. Anyone found in violation risks losing game privileges. First challenge is the Jump." He points then towards the cliff "remember kids,you want to go out and down into the swimming hole. You miss it, and it's gonna be the rocks that break your fall."

He definitely knows how to reassure people.

"Take a leap from the Lookout and grab yourself 100 points, courtesy of this year's friendly judges, whoever they may be." He explains "let the games begin!"

Everyone cheers loudly.

"That's our cue" Natalie says, unzipping her dress.

Bishop looks at her. "You know, I have the same suit"

He's probably trying to lighten Natalie's mood.

I laugh at that, while Natalie couldn't seem to hear it.

"Let's go" I tell her.

Summer is responsible for listing the players.

Natalie takes a deep breath looks at me, I give her a reassuring look.

"Hit me" Natalie tells Summer.

"Hey Natalie, You're number 11" she replies.

Natalie looks at me one last time before heading for the cliff.

As I'm letting Summer writing the number on me Dodge arrives too.

We share an encouraging nod and I too walk towards the cliff.

I hear everyone cheering.

"Contestant number one, announce yourself" Diggins says through the bullhorn.

"You know my name, Diggins. Your mom screams it every night"

Ray. Of course he would've been the first one to jump.

After him one by one the other players jump.

My turn.. and I'm going for the High Point.

"Oohh High Point ladies and gentlemen" Diggins announces.

"For all you virgins, out there, a quick reminder: a jump from the high point will get you a 25-point bonus." Diggins explains.

Yep.. and I do need a little bonus.

I look over the edge. Taking a deep breath.

It's gonna be fine. I tell myself.

"Contestant number 12. Announce yourself!"

"Y/n L/n!" I scream.

I keep looking at the edge.

Not the time to get scared now. Shit.

"You can still go back to the lowest jump. No judgment here." Diggins tell me.

"Fuck off. A second!" I reply.

"Always a princess" he jokes.

"Want me to do a flip?" I joke too.

"Don't play with fire, Y/n" he warns. I can feel he's worried.

I smirk, take a few step back and then run to jump.

I keep my eyes closed until I hit the water and swim back up again.

"And another one, everybody!" Diggins exclaims.

I swim back to everyone else.

"Great jump" Natalie hands me a towel to dry myself.

"Thanks" I say breathless.

I turn around and see Dodge going for the High Point too.

"Another High Point!" Diggins cheers. "Contestant number 13, announce yourself"

Dodge doesn't answer.

"Announce you-"

"Dodge Mason" Dodge cuts him off.

He then throws the flare in the water and jumps.

Everyone around me cheers, I can't until I see him emerging.

"High Point is popular tonight! Way to rise the stakes, Dodge."

I walk with Natalie.

"Weren't you scared?" Natalie asks me.

"For a minute, I think" I tell her "but then... nah, it's just a jump"

"Yeah"

I spot Dodge and walk towards him.

"Hi"

"Hi" he's putting his shirt back on.

"Great jump" I say.

"Yours too" he smiles.

"You got scared up there or?"

"Not to jump no. It's the landing that gets you in trouble" he chuckles.

"Agree" I smile.

"Do you need another towel?" He asks me.

"No, thanks I "I stop as I see Natalie walking to.. Heather? What?

"You okay?" Dodge asks.

"Yeah.. yeah don't worry" I smiles again."I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I gotta go."

"Sure.. sure see you tomorrow, princess" he teases using the nickname Diggins used earlier.

"Don't push it, Mason" I reply chuckling.

I walk up next to Natalie.

"What's Heather's doing?" I ask her.

"Playing" she says emotionless.

She seems angry, Heather always said she would never play, also try to talk us out of playing ourselves. So why would she play?

I'm not angry, I'm not as competitive as Natalie, I'm more worried. I'm afraid something happened to Heather.

I see her not moving by the edge of the first cliff.

"Contestant number 23. State you name"

Silence.

Heather doesn't even move.

"Heather come down" Natalie screams.

Then she moves. She's walking to the High Point... no... Devil's Drop.

Something definitely happened.

"What's she doing?"

"She's playing" Bishop says.

I hear people trying to convince her both to jump and to come down.

I look at Diggins, he seems uncertain on what to do, but he ask her to say her name anyway.

"Heather.. Nill. Heather Nill"

"C'mon Heather!" I scream, which grants me a glare from Natalie.

She then jumps.

Holy shit. She actually did it.

"Want a ride home?" Dodge appears beside me, as everyone is leaving.

"Oh, I thought you already went home" I gasp "it's fine, I can walk don't worry " I tell him.

"Are you sure?" He says nodding to my left.

I look that way and see Ray talking to his friends, but looking at our direction.

"Yeah.. actually, I think I'll accept your offer" I tell him.

"The carriage awaits" he replies.

"Thanks" I laugh.

We walk together to his car and get in.

"How does it usually work? What happens next?" He asks as he drives.

"Well whoever jumped tonight is a player with 100 point, except for us with a 25 bonus and Heather with a 50 bonus and immunity for a challenge. Now we wait for any clue from the judges for the time and place of the next challenge. It could be anything, a crossing, labyrinth, animals.. there's really no scheme" I explain.

"That's..." he starts.

"Fucked up? Kinda, but it's the only way to get out of here" I say.

"Is it really?"

"Well.. if you think about it no, but $50,000 helps."

"Yeah you're right" he says.

"Hey.. I know we're kind of competing against each other, but we're still friends right?" I ask.

"Sure. Why would I have offered you a ride?" He smiles.

"Out of pity?" I joke.

"Oh definitely" he says sarcastically.

"I knew it.. you don't care about me!" I say dramatically.

"I care about you, more than you know" he says seriously. "Princess" he quickly adds teasingly.

"I'm not punching you only because you're driving" I laugh and he does too.

It makes me smile, I'm happy he opened up to me like this, at first I was worried to work with him since he seemed so uninterested in talking to everyone else and I simply am not much for talking myself, but with time we both opened up to each other. It's nice.

He told me about his sister, his family, his father... And, of course, I told him about my family too.. that talk was intense for us both, but it helped us get close, I'm happy about that, now that I think about it.

"Here we are" he stops the car in front of my house. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure"

"Don't get me wrong" he's nervous, why is he nervous? "I know you're okay with it and all, you're independent.. but I really don't like knowing you alone in that house" he confesses.

"I'm used to it..it's not that bad, you know. There's always some light on, since I'm not the one to pay" I joke trying to reassure him.

"The fact that you're used to it doesn't make it right" he says, almost angry, but not at me.

"I know, but there's not much I can do.." I shrug. "You really don't have to worry though, I'm fine, I mean I have your mother's number, I'm basically untouchable."

That makes him laugh, at last.

"You're terrible" he says."you promise to call? Even for the smallest thing?"

I never saw him so worried.

"I promise" I smile at him, patting his hand with mine to reassure him, but he grabs my hands to squeeze it slightly, then lets go.

"Okay then, sleep well, you need energies to pretend to work" he jokes.

"Oh yes, that sucks all my energies. I need to sleep" I joke back getting out of the car.

"Goodnight to you too"

"See you tomorrow Y/n"

I walk to my front door unlocking it when I open it I hear Dodge's car moving.

He always waits for me to enter the house before driving away.

He's a sweet guy..very sweet.

I shake my head, I can't catch feelings now.. can I?

#mike faist #mike faist x reader #panic prime #dodge mason imagine #dodge mason #dodge mason x reader #riff imagine #riff x reader

73 notes · View notes

starlightxsvt · 3 years

Text

Home | k.mg

pairing ➳ businessman!mingyu x female!reader

genre ➳ strangers to lovers, romance, slice of life, angst, fluff, gets spicy at the end

word count ➳ 5.6k (apx)

warnings ➳ cursing, reader is really indecisive, heavy makeout, implications of sexual activity.

synopsis ➳ an attractive stranger visits your cabin for a week with whom you quickly bond, developing some strong feelings in the process; leaving you to wonder if he's worth leaving everything behind.

A/N: henlooo~ I finally posted! This has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I didn't really feel like writing for a while, hence the delay. I hope y'all enjoy this piece and please don't forget to leave some feedback! It really motivates me :)

A cool gust of wind blew by as you finished typing your last column, leaving a soothing feeling behind as you exhaled loudly. It was hard to finish this piece of writing for some reason, maybe because you lacked inspiration or maybe because your life had been monotonous for a while or simply, a mix of both. Closing your laptop you stretch your hands and legs, feeling somewhat productive. Humming a tune, you looked out the window to see a Lamborghini come to a halt at the entrance.

It piqued your interest because it's not often that people riding Lamborghini come in this cabin so genuinely you're interested in the visitor. You shifted in your chair, waiting for the man to come upstairs to the reception and sure enough a tall- really tall man dressed in a neatly pressed suit appears into your view, briskly walking towards the reception where Chan stood to greet him. You could not get a good look at his face as he moved around quickly, grabbing his small carry on and heading towards his cabin after the formalities.

You watched his tall frame walking away as you got up from your seat and moved towards Chan.

"Who is he?"

"Kim Mingyu," Chan explained, resting his arms on the reception table." A millionaire, owns a lot of companies. No wonder he looked familiar."

"Oh, really? How long is he staying?"

"He has booked for five days. Said he might extend his stay."

"I see."

"Why are you so curious though?" Chan raised a brow at you, tilting his head to a side.

"Nothing." You shrugged. "He just has different vibes than the other people that come here you know?"

Chan hummed in agreement.

There was never much visitors during the rainy season which was both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because that meant the cabin was less hectic and curse because sometimes you are bound to get a bit too bored. You were helping yourself with a cup of tea to somewhat feel re-energised when your newest and the only guest for the week appeared from his cabin, padding through the corridor and stepping into the common kitchen area. You were taken aback for a moment before you composed yourself and smiled at your guest, "Good morning, Mr. Kim. May I help you with anything?"

"Mingyu, please," the tall male replied while scanning the kitchen area. "You're the owner right? What's the food arrangement here?"

"Well, our guests generally cook for themselves or order takeout. When there are many guests I sometimes do the cooking."

Nodding, he hummed before putting in a capsule in the cappuccino machine. You took a seat by the window, tea in your hand as you watched the male move around like he knew this place. Dressed in his pajamas and judging by the fluffy mess that his hair was you assumed he had a good night's sleep.

"I hope you had a pleasant night, Mr- Mingyu." You said to your guest who had whipped out a pan from the cupboard and was making omelette. "Yes, surprisingly so. Normally I have trouble falling asleep but I slept like a baby last night," he casually conversed as he prepared his breakfast.

You smiled, "Well, I'm glad to know that. If you need anything let my staffs or me know."

"Sure. Oh- I didn't get your name though." Mingyu turned to meet your eyes.

"___," you smiled.

"___, okay."

"This is gonna be a rainy week," Hoshi said from behind you as he stood holding a tub of fresh soil for the plants in the backyard of the cabin. You sat on your knees, eyeing the plants which needed their soil changed.

"Yeah? Well, good thing there isn't much guests now."

"I think there should be, I mean it's so pretty here during the rain too. People need to look at it themselves." Hoshi complained.

"Well, most people don't like going out in the rain. Pass me the soil, Hoshi. Let's get this finished before the shower starts."

Hoshi handed you the tub of soil as the sky above started growling, full of thick black clouds. It was gonna start raining soon.

Hoshi spoke, "Oh, Mr.Kim, Mingyu you know, asked me about the beach by the marketplace. Apparently he wants to visit so he asked me if I was free to show him around."

"And let me guess, you aren't?" You rolled your eyes.

Soonyoung pouted, "No! Well I would have given him a tour today if the weather wasn't so bad. And my friends are coming tomorrow, so I'll be busy then."

"Wait- you're friends are coming?" You turned, glaring at the boy who smiles sheepishly, "Oh! Um- I didn't tell you? Well they're only staying for a couple of days and it's not like they're staying for free."

"Well, make sure they clean after themselves okay? If I see them trashing all over the place like last time, I'm kicking you out with them." You gave him a pointed look.

"Okay okay," Hoshi rolled his eyes, puffing his cheeks. "Just- take the CEO out on a tour tomorrow for me okay? I haven't seen my friends in a long time."

"Alright, I will...if the weather is good which probably won't be." You sighed, gently removing the old soil.

Hoshi mused about Mingyu, "Bummer for him, he came in a wrong time. It's weird, no? We don't have such guests like him."

"Yeah," you hummed, focused on handling your roses.

Hoshi's friend, Seokmin and Seungkwan appeared early in the morning next day as you watched Hoshi vibrate from happiness when he hugged them. You smiled to yourself, laughing at at the antics of your staff as you saw him guide his friends into their cabin. The day was once again filled with dark clouds and raining which occurred every other hour. You and Chan cleaned up and completed some chores as the noon fell.

"Should I cook something up for them?" You wondered as Chan finished cleaning the common space of the first cabin.

"Nah, Seokmin hyung is cooking for them. He's a pretty good cook actually."

"Really? That's nice." You said pulling up a chair to sit down. "Are you gonna join them? Hoshi has been with his friends since they came."

"Yeah, probably. You should join us too."

"No, I think I'm gonna take a nap. I feel so tired."

"Alright."

You watched as Chan climbed down the stairs and stepped towards the second cabin where everyone else was. You were about to head to your room when the CEO, Mingyu appeared in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi."

"I haven't seen you since morning," you said watching as Mingyu poured himself a glass of water.

"Yeah, I woke up early today, went for a jog."

"Ah, I see."

"Couldn't go far though, the weather sucks you know." He said leaning against the kitchen top.

"Yeah. But I heard that it should get better from tomorrow. I could show you around if you want to. Hoshi, my staff, is going to busy for a while so I can guide you around."

"Really? That would be cool." Mingyu smiled. There was a small stretch of silence as you both listened to the rainfall before he spoke, "Have you had lunch?"

"Uh-no."

"Would you like to join me?" He asked "This is the longest time I've been alone and it feels a bit weird," he murmured more to himself than you.

"I mean- I don't mind," you shrugged. "Though I should be the one doing it."

"It's okay. People say I am a good cook," Mingyu smiled, his eyes crinkling.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see."

It was weird how comfortable you felt watching Mingyu being clumsy and bump into things as he prepared your meal. It felt like you've been doing this forever- like you've known him forever and you thought to yourself what was suddenly wrong with you. He made small talk as he cooked and it felt easy talking with him- almost impossible to believe that he was stranger. He was friendly and easy to get along with, definitely not a cold and grumpy businessman like you imagined him to be.

Mingyu grinned as he set down the food in front of you- chicken soup, rice and cheese omelette. His eyes twinkled excitedly as he watched you take a bite, waiting for you to say something.

"What are you? A part time chef or something?" You tried not to moan as you chewed because it was that good. Mingyu laughed- a sweet, shy laugh that had his canines showing and his eyes forming crescents. "Thank you. I learned from my mom. I like cooking for myself when I get the time which is not often," he smiled- almost sadly.

"Well, you can cook for me all you want as long as you're here because this is amazing!" You grinned at him, cheeks puffed with food.

Mingyu chuckled softly as he dug in and you both started eating. It felt nice, to talk to someone new and spend time with them, someone other than Chan or Hoshi. It was a nice change- a change you probably needed for a while.

"So...What brings you here?" You asked as you finished your food, setting down the spoon and leaning back into the chair. Mingyu who was still eating, looked at you with a perplexed expression so you spoke, "I mean...we don't generally have guests like you. And it's not even a good time to visit...so I was wondering what brought you here?"

"Guests like me? What does that mean?"

"I mean...rich, okay?" You fumbled, feeling awkward. Maybe you shouldn't have asked. "Like...there are fancier places to visit, you know..."

Mingyu smiled at your words for a moment before he deadpanned, "I'm running away."

"Running away?" You gasped, almost jumping from your seat, "From who? The cops?"

"It would have been better but no, my family," he said, his voice as serious as ever.

"Oh...I see," you fell quiet. It definitely wasn't the answer you expected. You both remained silent for a while as he started out the window, lost in thoughts. "It must have been really bad if you're hiding out here." You spoke softly.

"It has always been," he mumbled. "I just couldn't take it anymore, you know? I desperately needed a break," he spoke more to himself than you. Instead of prodding further, you sat quietly, watching him and listening to his words. Seeing him now, he definitely looks troubled and you didn't exactly have the words to console him.

So you whispered, "Well, I hope it gets better."

Later that night, you find Hoshi and his friends and Chan preparing for a bonfire in the front yard of the cabin.

"Wow, you all are really having fun, no?" You said as you fisted your hands in your pockets from the chilly weather. The air was colder than other nights and everyone including you had put on some warm clothes.

"You wanna join us?" Seokmin asked as he stacked logs on top of each other.

"Nah, it's fine. You four carry on," you patted his back as you started walking back towards the cabin and saw Chan and Hoshi coming out with some boxes in their hands.

"Hey! There are marshmallows in the kitchen cabinet if you want.... nevermind," you finished as you saw beer cans and soju bottles in their hands.

"We're gonna get drunk baby!" Soonyoung yelled, grinning like a fool.

"Hyung, you look drunk already," Chan gave him a side look as they trudged towards the bonfire.

Laughing at their antics you climbed the stairs to the kitchen, preparing some hot chocolate for yourself. Holding the mug on one hand you knocked on the door to Mingyu's room, checking up on him since you haven't seen him since lunch.

The door opened revealing Mingyu in a baggy shirt and pajamas, his hair fluffy and messy.

"Hey," you chriped. "Wanted to check up on you. You wanna join the others in the bonfire?"

"Nah, I'm good. I've been watching them from the balcony." He smiled, his pointy canines showing.

"Oh, I see."

"You wanna come in? I've been getting lonely." He offered, moving away from the door to make space for you.

"Uh- I don't mind," you murmured, surprised that he asked you to come in. You tentatively stepped in and it was fair to say that you were surprised to see the room neat and pristine as most guests kept their room messy.

He ushered you into the balcony, which had a great view of your yard and the forest behind. You saw others laughing loudly as Soonyoung acted something out. Mingyu's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

"You didn't join them?"

"Nah, they can get too loud sometimes," you chuckled, taking a seat on the bench. You eyed an empty mug lying by, guessing that Mingyu already had his fill of hot chocolate.

Mingyu took a seat beside you, stretching his legs and sighing as he mused, "The view is great."

You hummed your agreement. It was indeed. Not only did you have the full view of your yard and the forest, but you could see a vast horizon of the night sky, some stars twinkling through the clouds.

"It's even more beautiful during summer. You can see so many stars that it feels unreal." You told him.

"Then I will try to visit again during summer," he smiled and you were not sure if he was serious or joking. However you replied with a smile, "You're always welcome."

A silence falls among you two after that but it's not uncomfortable, as you both watched the night grow and Soonyoung and his friends got louder.

"Things got really hard for me, you know," Mingyu started speaking, his voice soft as he stared at the mesh of trees ahead. You were somewhat surprised at his words, but you didn't interrupt, opting for him to continue.

"Running a million dollar company was never easy but...it suddenly was unbearable. My parents always interfered in my work and how I run the company but I managed through all of that, really...until..." Mingyu heaved a long sigh, abruptly stopping.

"Until?" You tentatively asked, peeking at him.

"They want me to get married. With the daughter of their business partner. A marriage of convenience, really."

Oh.

You fell silent, watching him as the moonlight dimly lit the side of his face. There wasn't enough light to see his face completely, but enough to see the curve of his face, his sharp jawline and the sad, lost look in his eyes. Your heart suddenly ached for him. Silently you patted his shoulder, conjuring up some words to console him.

"That's ...awful, really. I'm sorry."

"I've never been so mad in my whole life. Can't they just leave me alone? They treat me like a puppet, like my only job is to live for them. I'm so done. " He said, his hands forming fists.

There's a beat of silence as you quietly patted his back and watched your friends get wasted by the bonfire before he chuckled softly, "I'm sorry for dumping all these on you. I just couldn't hold them in you know-"

"It's really fine, Mingyu. I don't mind. It would be nice if I could actually help you," you sighed, retracting your hand.

"Trust me, you are," he said and you caught a smile on his face.

"I suppose you don't have a significant other? Someone you could talk to freely?"

He shook his head. "That is why I came here. Needed to get my thoughts together, away from them. Not to mention I don't remember the last time I went on a vacation."

"And have you got your thoughts together?"

"I think so, yeah." He shrugged.

"What are you gonna do?" You asked tilting your head.

"Stand strong in my ground, I guess. There's no way I'm marrying their business partner, I'd rather die. And if all else fails, I'm staying here. I'm sure you have some type of job for me, right?"

You laughed at his words, "Maybe. But I'm not sure about your skills, Mr. Kim."

"Oh I'm a fast learner, Miss ___."

You both grinned at each other.

That night when you went back to your room, your thoughts were plagued by Mingyu and you could swear you saw him in your dreams too.

The next morning is brighter and shinier; the sky relatively clear other than some light clouds. After getting dressed and checking up on Hoshi and Chan who were still sleeping, you trudged through the cabin and towards Mingyu's room, before knocking on it. A fully dressed Mingyu appeared, clad in a white polo and jeans, his hair styled messily. He looked effortlessly attractive, making your heart skipp a few beats.

Damn it, what was wrong with you?

"Hi," you almost missed a breath, your face flushed with warmth.

"Oh, hey. I was about to come to you. I believe you were to show me around." Mingyu grinned, his pointy canines showing.

"And that is what I'm here for, Mr. Kim."

"Great! Let's get going. We'll take my car."

After showing Mingyu around for a couple of hours, you both ended up at the beach by the marketplace, sitting on the sand next to each other. The weather was nice; not too hot, not too cold as a light breeze flew by occasionally. Though you could see some black clouds gathering above, it wasn't to rain until evening if the forecast was correct.

"This place is so pretty," Mingyu mused, making you smile.

"I know right. The weather is great too."

You both watched the waves crash to the shore, occasionally wetting your feet as you both relaxed on the sand. There was a silence, a comfortable one as you finished eating the corndog you bought from the market earlier with some groceries. As you finished the last bite, Mingyu turned to face you and asked, "Tell me about yourself."

"What?" A squeak of surprise escaped from you.

"I shared a lot about myself last night. It's only fair I get to know about you too."

"Well..." You pondered. "There isn't much to tell. I've a pretty dull life, unlike you."

Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head, "Does the cabin belong to your parents? Is it like a family business type of thing?"

"No, not really," you smiled softly. "My parents are dead. The cabin belonged to my grandfather."

"Oh- I'm sorry."

"No it's okay. They passed away in an accident when I was a kid so I don't remember them much." You spoke, watching the sea, "My grandparents raised me. Growing up I've spent a lot of time in the cabin and when my grandfather retired he handed the job to me."

"Are they alive? Your grandparents?" He asked tentatively.

You shook your head, "Grandpa passed away a couple years ago and it's been a few months since grandma did too."

"I'm sorry, you must've been lonely," Mingyu offered, his voice soft.

You shrugged, "Yeah, like I said, nothing interesting going on in my life."

Mingyu hummed noncommittally and there was a few moments of silence before he spoke again, "Was managing the cabin something you have always wanted to do?"

You were quiet for a while as you thought over the question, "No...not really. I've just kept doing the job I was handed to. I haven't really thought about what I want to do."

"Well...I think you should hire a manager in your place and maybe...I don't come to the city and make friends, see what calls for you."

"Yeah, I've thought about it. But I don't know really." You murmured.

"Well, give it some thought. I could help you find a manager. In fact, I could help promote and upgrade your cabin if you'd let me. It'll be a good investment."

You laughed softly, not taking his words too seriously. He was just a guest. He was probably just being nice.

A gust of strong wind flew by, ruining your hair as it poked into your eyes and you laughed when your eyes landed on Mingyu.

"What?"

His hair was sticking in different directions because of the wind and you shook your head with a smile as you reached to pat the hairs back into place. It happened naturally, before you could stop yourself. For a moment your eyes meet as you quickly retract your hand, face heated.

Something was definitely wrong with you.

Mingyu's gaze stayed at you for a while; you could feel his intense eyes on you and you thought maybe he didn't like you touching him. Before your thoughts ran more rampant, he spoke.

"___?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you...Do you have a home?"

"Home?" You were confused.

"Yes, home. Not like a real house but like a... person. Someone who makes you feel at ease, someone with whom you can be yourself without judgements, someone who keeps you cozy and safe and loved...like a home."

Somewhat taken aback by his words, you fell silent but their depth hit you and you found yourself thinking about it. Do you have a home?

No. No, you don't.

You shook your head, murmuring, "No."

Mingyu nodded taking his eyes off you.

"What about you?" You asked.

"Me neither."

You smiled, "Figures. Because if you had someone you wouldn't have run here but went to them."

Mingyu smiled, a sad smile gracing his lips. It was a somewhat bitter truth, he hadn't found his home no matter how much he looked for it. Maybe that's what he was doing wrong, looking desperately.

"Let's get going. It has started to rain," Your voice dragged him out of his thoughts as he felt small drops of water fall on his face. You reached your hand out to him and he took it, standing up. As you both jogged towards Mingyu's car, your hands remained connected, no one bothering to let go.

That night you had dinner with Mingyu again but this time it was you who did the cooking. After enjoying dinner over small talk, Mingyu like the gentleman he is did the dishes as you poured some wine for the two of you.

Sitting on the small table in common space by the window, you both watched the clear sky that had appeared after the shower. You sipped your wine, watching the vast expanse of stars that blinked in the dark sky.

"I think I've to go back tomorrow," Mingyu suddenly whispered, his tone so low you almost thought you misheard him. A bolt out the blue, you looked at him.

"Tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm," he fiddled with the hem of his cardigan as he stared at the table. "I've got so many calls and messages from work. My company won't run on its on, I can be gone for only so long." He sighed.

You didn't offer any words, too shocked to know that he'd be gone tomorrow. What is this attachment you've developed towards him? Why did the thought of someone, almost a stranger going back to where he came from, where he belonged hurt you so much? You didn't know what to label your feelings but realizing that you'd probably never see him again was tugging at your heartstrings.

Should you ask him for his number and stay connected with him? Is there even a point in that? You both live miles away from each other. Or should just take his advice and follow him to the city? Would that even be a good idea? Are you just reading all this wrong?

You were so invested in your thoughts that you didn't realize Mingyu was calling you until he shook your shoulder.

"You okay, ___?"

"Huh? Yeah...it's just, the news is really sudden. I didn't... expect you'd return so soon." You mumbled.

Mingyu sighed, his shoulder dropping a little bit. "Trust me, if I could I'd stay here forever. But...I can't keep running. I need to face my parents, the sooner the better."

At a loss of what to say, you just nodded. Reaching for your drink you took a big gulp, trying to calm your nerves. It's okay, you can do this. He's just another one of your guests.

You stood up, taking the empty glass in your hand, "Well, I better leave you alone now. I'm sure you've got packing to do."

You almost turned away; until a strong hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back, making you stumble towards Mingyu's body.

"Don't. Stay for a while. I don't want you to leave." His voice was soft yet deep and it immediately broke your resolve as you set the glass down and looked into his eyes.

He didn't let go of your wrist; instead only wrapped his other hand around your waist, pulling you closer, leaving just a few inches between your faces. You didn't tell him to move neither did you make any effort to get away from him- you didn't want to. It felt good, comforting as he held you and looked at you almost like you were his whole world. His eyes had so much emotion swirling in them and you were sure yours looked the same too.

"___?" His voice was breathy and it set your heart aflame.

"Y-yes?"

"Can I...kiss you?"

You inhaled sharply as his hold on you got tighter. You couldn't process a reply, overwhelmed with emotion. So you just nodded and Mingyu leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.

It was soft at first, his lips just resting against yours, as if he was testing the waters. When you didn't resist but only pulled him closer, he started devouring you, his tongue prodding in your wet cavern. Moans espaced from you as you kept pulling at his hair almost grinding on him, desperate for more. He was the same, kissing you with so much passion and vigour like you were the last female standing.

You somehow managed to tug off his cardigan between the kiss and when you pulled apart for air, Mingyu panted, "Can we take this to the bedroom?"

His deep raspy voice spread liquid heat throughout your body and you had to stop yourself from pouncing on him.

"Yes please," you breathed. Mingyu stood up straight, his tall and built body intimidating you in the best ways possible, "Oh baby, you don't have to beg. I'll give you anything you want."

Once again your breath was trapped as he picked you up, his hand under your ass to support you. When he dropped you on his bed and took off his tee you realized you were in for a long night. In the back of your mind, you also realized that this would make it even harder to let him go.

Next morning you were the first one to wake up as the sun barely seeped through the blinds. If you had to guess it wasn't any more than six am. Mingyu's hand rested on your waist as he remained snuggled against your back. It was so comforting that you almost forgot your reality and went back to sleep, until you remembered what had happened last night. Before you could start overthinking and possibly had a breakdown right there, you ever so carefully removed his hand from your body and scrawled out of the bed, grabbing your shirt and quickly throwing it on. Then you tiptoped out of his room despite the ache between your legs and rushed straight towards yours.

Slamming the door shut, your sat down, head in your hands. You've to now prepare for saying goodbye. Right, you just need to act casual and not let him know that you might have developed feelings for him in the past week.

His words came back to you.

"Do you have a home?"

You didn't have one until now but the realization that you may have found it brought tears to your eyes.

You spent the next hours wallowing in your self pity, curled up in your bed too afraid to get out and face Mingyu. Soonyoung dropped by once, knocking at your door and asking if you want breakfast, which you declined. Time slowly ticked away and you watched as the clock struck eleven. You couldn't stay inside forever. You needed to bid Mingyu a goodbye- that is if he hadn't left already. But you were sure he didn't; he wouldn't just leave without any words.

Sighing, you gathered every last bit of your courage and stepped out of your room. Immediately you saw Mingyu coming out from the opposite end of the corridor, the carry-on he brought with him in his hand.

"Hey, where have you been?" He asked, his steps getting quicker to come and stand in front of you.

"Oh- um, I took and shower and then dozed off, sorry," you lied easily, not meeting his eyes.

There was a beat of silence as you both stood in front of each other and when your eyes finally met his, a blush spread across his face like wildfire. The air was heavy with unsaid words and you coughed, trying to get rid of the terrible awkwardness.

"So, you're leaving now?"

What a nice question.

Mingyu seemed to be lost in thoughts as he snapped back to reality and scratched the back of his head, "Oh yeah, right. It'll be a couple hours drive so the earlier I leave the better."

Nodding you motioned your hand towards the exit, "I'll see you out."

Mingyu seemed to have something to say but he pressed his lips in a thin line and started to climb down the stairs, you behind him. Soonyoung, who was standing at the entrance gave you a conspirational wiggle of his brows but said nothing as he watched you follow Mingyu out.

You observed as Mingyu loaded his bag in the trunk, peeking glances at you every other second. When he finished, you spoke, "Well...good luck. I hope you can overcome your problems."

"Thanks. It won't be easy and my dad will probably take away my shares of the company but...I'm done living like this."

You nodded, smiling softly as you crossed your arms against your chest. It suddenly felt cold.

You both gazed at each other, saying nothing even though you've so much to say, as if the silence would carry your unsaid words to him. You were torn- wanting to talk about last night but chickening out knowing it was probably just a fling, a one night stand for him.

"___..." Mingyu spoke but the words died on his tongue. Not trusting yourself to speak, you swallwed the ball of emotions and looked at him with a curious tilt of head.

"...I hope you find what you really want to do. And I hope you find your home too," he said, his words so soft and gentle. For some reason you had a feeling that those were not the words he wanted to say yet you forced a smile and nodded, "You too, Mingyu."

His eyes swirled with so my emotions but you didn't know what he was thinking. He looked pained, just like you but you were too afraid to speak your feelings, scared that you misread him.

When you spoke no more, Mingyu sighed and backstopped slowly, "Well... goodbye, then."

You managed to choke out the words, "Goodbye."

Your emotions overwhelmed you, tears stinging your eyes as you watched him enter his car. Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like your heart was being ripped right out of your chest?

His engine roared to life and your stomach sunk. Was this really the right thing to do? Should you just let him go like this?

You made a split second decision that moment, just as his car moved forward a little.

"Mingyu!" You called after him, immediately making him stop the car. He came out, almost in a hurry, an expectant look on his face as you ran towards him. Then you made another split second decision as you wrapped your arms around his tall frame and held tight.

"I like you, Mingyu. I really like you." You mumbled in his chest.

He didn't say anything back but you felt his arms wrapping around you tightly and you stood there in each others embrace for a while. It felt like time has stopped, the warmth and safety of his arms comforting you and making you realize how you would have regretted if you had let him go.

Mingyu pulled back to take a look at your face, his hand cupping your cheeks, his warm but intense eyes on you, shining with love and adoration.

"Say something," you whispered, still unsure.

He chuckled, a light-hearted, carefree sound that made your heart swoon. "I like you too, if it wasn't obvious after last night."

Elated, you pulled his face down and kissed his lips as you felt him grin and wrap his arms around you once again.

"I want to go with you...to the city," you murmured into his chest as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

You couldn't see it but you felt him smirk, "Good. Because I think I found my home."

Your heart couldn't become fuller as you grinned like a happy child.

"Me too."

A/N 2: If you enjoyed reading don't forget to like and reblog and let me know your thoughts!

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