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kai-habvertzburg29 · 10 months ago

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"Whatever makes him happy on a Saturday Night"

Summary: It’s Saturday night, and Martin’s going out on the town with the boys.

Warnings: Alcohol, swearing, assault

Notes:

An AU fic where all the players live normal lives. Inspired by ‘Saturday Night’ by Suede, and various nights out I’ve had recently.

Some other songs to go with this fic:

Arcade Fire - No Cars Go

Basement - Ellipses

Charli XCX - Detonate

The Goon Sax - Strange Light

Crosspost from AO3

There’s a crackle from the intercom speaker, and the light next to the camera comes on. “Yes Barbie! I’m buzzing you in now.” Martin tries to smile off the embarrassment. Declan always greets him with his nickname. The door releases with a zap, and the Norwegian heads into the building.

Up in the flat, Declan has the tunes on. “What’s good Deccers?” smiles the Norwegian. Martin gives him a firm hug with his free hand, a four pack of beers in his other. It’s the usual list of compliments between them as they walk through to the lounge - “Nice outfit, lad”, “Love that aftershave, lad”, “Your hair’s looking great, lad”.

“Kai’s just in his room” says Declan. A muffled “Hallo” comes from one of the closed doors. Martin calls back and perches himself on the edge of the sofa. He’s been here plenty of times before, but he waits to let himself get comfortable. Once Declan is back from the fridge with a can for himself, Martin decides he can open one of his.

The German has finally sorted his outfit, and pres feel like they’re properly underway. It’s a mix of dancey and guitary cuts coming from the speakers next to the telly. The lounge is warmly lit, scented by a candle on a nearby shelf. Almost certainly one of Kai’s touches; Dec has never quite understood the concept. The lights of the city can be seen through the window.

“Are we just gonna meet you there then?” Declan’s got Mason on speakerphone on the table in front of them.

“Yeah man, it’ll probably be easier, I’m not fucking with an Uber over to yours”. Mase is cool as ever. He’ll go with the flow on anything.

“Sweet, alright fella, we’ll find you at the pub”.

Declan likes being the one organising things. It helps him feel more settled to be the one who knows where everyone is gonna be when. On paper, Martin and Kai are the two shyer ones of the group, even if they tend to find their confidence as the night goes on.

“So he’s with the girls then?” Kai thumbs around his bottle.

“Of course he is” joshes Declan. “Alessia still isn’t gonna get with him tonight”.

Martin chuckles. They’ve all been hanging out for a couple of years now, brought together through friends of friends and exes of exes. It’s not that any of them couldn’t date each other, but it does make it less complicated if the flirting doesn’t lead to anything more.

The plan for tonight: pub, maybe another pub, probably a club, chips and home. Martin always loves the buzz of Saturday night. In his head, he remarks on the confidence he has now, compared to his lack of it when he was a teen. These boys make him feel at home. They catch up on their weeks and whatever other bollocks has happened at their respective jobs, making their way through their beers.

Kai asks if the jumper he’s thinking of wearing works.

“ ‘Course it does man, you look great.” Declan is always everyone’s hype man, first and foremost.

“Yeah, ah…well,...yeah” Kai shrugs and fumbles through a load of words. He doesn’t really know why he brought that up. He just needed to address it somehow.

“Trust us, man. Anyway, it’s your go” Martin points to Kai’s Uno hand. The cards are sticky and worn from years of use. Declan had them at uni. At least that was the first time Martin saw them.

Kai places down a red plus two. He doesn’t have a poker face so much as a smug game-playing face, lips pursed.

“Fuck you” mutters Martin, shuffling through his options. A green plus two has been in his hand for a while. Looks like Declan is getting the short end of it.

“You bastard” concedes Declan as he shoots a sharp look over to the Norwegian. That smile he has, charming and scheming, always electrifies Martin. It’s gonna be a good night when Declan’s feeling like this. The Brit reaches to pick up from the pile and have another swig of his beer.

They’re out in the night air soon enough, walking to the bus stop. Mizzly February rain is quickly dampening Martin’s hair, and he battles the biting wind with gritted teeth. The beers are hitting though, and that’s got Kai in a chatty mood. It’s easy to tell, as his volume rises in line with how much he’s drunk.

They’ve timed it well, and they’re on the night bus in a matter of minutes. Martin checks his phone – the group chat has been pinging off as everyone’s announced that they’re on the way. He’ll save checking it for the morning. A swig of his road beer, trying to keep it concealed from the driver. What do they mind anyway? There’s plenty of other people drinking.

Their conversations continue as they step off. “I just always found it a really boring record. Never got into it”. The line-up for a festival they’ve been thinking of going to has just dropped, and the headline is a band that Martin’s not that fond of.

“I’d like to go, I just dunno if I can take the camping ‘n shit”. Kai’s never been one for being too far from creature comforts, despite being very outdoorsy.

“It does get a bit rough to be fair” adds Declan. “I remember, like, in my first year I went, someone near us was sick in their tent on the Saturday, and they just abandoned and didn’t clear it up”. Kai and Martin groan at the thought. “And it was so hot so it stunk”.

“See, exactly” says Kai. He tries to adjust his sodden hair, to little effect. His face has his trademark grimace, as ever when it's cold and raining.

The city centre is throbbing with people and noise. Declan’s got his hood up as he leads the way. God Kai is so tall, thinks Martin, taking in how his thick fleece jacket conceals how skinny actually he is. Through the pedestrianised streets they journey, laughing at various things they see and avoiding the dickheads swaggering about the place.

They’re soon at The Corporation Vaults, one of the city’s older establishments, on what must be the 20th refurbishment in its lifetime. Inside, it's darkly lit and busy, a pulsing mix of alternative and indie coming over the speakers. Mason and the girls have managed to find a table near the back. Everyone gets up for hugs and greetings – Mase first, followed by Lauren, Leah and Alessia.

“I’m coming up to get a drink with you” points Alessia, always game for a night of pints. “Look at you king!” she exclaims, pointing out Martin’s fresh trouser and trainer combo.

“Ah, they’re just something I saw on Vinted and I liked” Martin blushes. He’s had to force himself to accept compliments without getting embarrassed. Alessia is always buzzed to see the Norwegian.

“I’ll get these” he insists as the bartender brings the card reader over. He owes her for last time anyway, and he fancies making Declan and Kai buy his next few drinks. It’s Jupels for him and Alessia, some random Weissbier for Kai, and a Guinness for Declan.

Declan takes two or three glugs of the black liquid and places the glass on the bar. “Ah, fuck!” He’s missed winning the Guinness game by barely a few millimetres. The line is just above the bottom of the harp. Mason harangs him for his failings.

Back at the table, everyone’s catching up. Mase and Lauren are in some extended conversation – maybe he’s bagged off the idea of getting with Alessia for once? The night is still young though.

More pints first. And as they pass, discussions about going somewhere else come up. “Mmm, nah, I dunno” says Leah. “The queue for Glassworks was big when we walked past, I can’t be arsed”. Her argument convinces the table. Leah, Lauren and Declan head up for another round.

Martin’s been left on his own, but that’s okay. He looks over to Kai, sitting in the corner talking to Mason whilst he fiddles with the sleeves of his jumper. He hopes he’s feeling comfortable, sometimes his mood can dip quickly in noisy places like this. The Norwegian slides down to join the conversation.

Mason clocks his arrival immediately. “Right, I need your view, Barbs…would you do the cinema for a first date?”

“What?” replies Martin in bemusement.

Kai leans over to explain the situation. “He’s got into a whole thing ‘cause this girl on his Tinder ghosted him after he suggested it for a date”.

“Nah, I suggested it ‘cause she had films as one of her interests” retorts Mason.

“Yes but like…why would you take her there on a first date? Like…you want to get to know her right?” Mason’s stubbornness has got under Kai’s skin.

“But then why would you ghost someone for that?” says Mase.

“I, yeah…I dunno”. Martin isn’t gonna be able to add anything to this. He grins politely.

“That’s not the point though is it! How are you going to speak to her in the cinema?” By this point, Kai’s stopped fiddling with his jumper and is waving his hands around in annoyance.

“I dunno, I just thought it was a good idea!” fires back Mase, in defeat. The back and forth goes on for some time.

Declan looks up from his phone, having just been intently typing out something. “Gang, Jarrod and B are gonna find us in Kongs” he announces. The table cheers. Another policy win for President Dec. Martin catches his gaze from down the table, that same charming smile meeting his own childlike one. Jarrod and Bukayo will be great company. Calls for everyone to neck their pints are met with agreement, and the table heads off to Kongs.

It’s a bawdy affair on the streets, the rain still coming down but hardly putting anyone off. They’re definitely in the realm of tipsy now, and everything they pass becomes increasingly funny. A box of chips abandoned on a bin with a full cup of Maccies coke. Some girls struggling down a cobbled street in heels and less-than-adequate coats. A bar flashing with crappy disco lights blaring out the YMCA. “I’d rather die” jokes Kai, somewhere behind.

Martin’s hooked arms with Alessia. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just good friendship. They chat about their dating lives, some shit from her ex that’s been on her mind lately, and more of Martin’s Vinted purchases.

Lauren has got chatting to some passer-by. The group turn around to pick up the straggler. “Lauren, fucking hell, we are going!” pleads Leah, dragging her away.

“He was cute though!” she wails.

“He’s just another white guy, oh my days!” Leah is having none of it.

“We could have got them to come with us!”

“Shut up” Leah pushes her the other way down the street.

Not before there are more stragglers, however. Declan and Mason are giggling like school kids, getting left behind after Mase says something that makes Dec almost paralytic with laughter.

“Come on you pricks!” shouts Kai. He’s found his confidence. “I wanna get out of the rain”. The man looks disgruntled.

They’re in the queue for Kongs at last. It’s a basement bar on one of the main streets with a reliable dancefloor and good smoking area. Everyone usually gets along with the music, and there’s Guinness for Declan. IDs checked, it’s not long before they’re in.

Jarrod and Bukayo are by the bar when they arrive. A chorus of “Wahhyyys!” from the lads and “Ahhhs!” from the girls. They’ve all made it to their final destination. Another round of pints, though Mase is feeling exotic and has gone for a GnT.

The group pile their jackets on a nearby table, getting caught in all manner of conversations. Martin catches Kai’s reptilian smile as he chats to Bukayo, laughing about something as they vaguely bop along to the music. It’s loud in here, but not too much that you feel deafened. People are moving all about the place, and the mood feels good.

Martin finds Jarrod and decides to stick with him for a bit. Both of them being on the quieter side always makes for reliable company once everyone starts getting a bit silly. Another runthrough of catching up and work nonsense and what’s happened on the night already. Jarrod and Bukayo were at a gig down the road.

“Good set?” asks Martin.

“Yeah, well good” replies Jarrod. “I didn’t follow B into the mosh pit though” he laughs.

“ ‘Course not. I’ve heard they’re crazy on his tours?”

“Mad, honestly”. Martin likes how Jarod is always awed by live music, and the pedestal he puts it on in his head.

Declan’s trying to get their attention, pointing to the dance floor and giving a little shimmy. The time has come. Gathered up from the bar, the group find their way over to the music and push through the crowd. It’s well past midnight now and the place is thrumming. The DJ’s been on the right wavelength so far with a mix of House and 2-Step.

Martin lets himself find the rhythm and is soon grooving. He’s never been the best dancer, but it’s a busy dancefloor, and no one’s judging if he can’t throw it down. He closes his eyes and lets the alcohol carry him away.

“Mate the vibes!!” Mase keeps shouting out, his face scrunched up in joy. Kai is trying to get into it but isn’t quite feeling it yet. Lauren comes over and forces some life out of him by grabbing his hands. He gives in and belatedly shakes his hips a bit. Bukayo is throwing finger guns all over, always cool as shit on nights like this. Martin wishes he had the finesse he does, especially when it’s a Garage classic being played. Leah is insistent on getting photos, and keeps trying to get everyone to pose for a selfie. Someones always been caught by something else. “Alessia!” she commands, dragging the poor girl back into frame. She was only chatting to some of the people next to them.

Piss time. Martin tells the group and Kai shouts that he’s coming with him. The gents at Kongs aren’t exactly world-class, and the ceiling is lower here for some reason. Kai suddenly looks even taller than usual.

“You not feeling it yet?” asks Martin.

“Nah, I dunno, I’ve not liked the music yet” replies Kai.

Another drink will help. But first, they have to battle the slurry of men weaving in and out of the cubicles and urinals and sinks. It’s a bit of a fight to get over to the taps, and the soap dispenser has been ripped off the wall. Martin checks his hair. “Go on pretty boy!” someone shouts from behind, catching him in the mirror – some twat with a Louis Vuitton t-shirt. Martin smiles awkwardly and ducks for the door.

Kai is waiting, thankfully. “Pricks in there” says Martin.

“Yeah, fuckers” replies Kai.

Back to the dancefloor via the bar. It was Kai’s round anyway. Leah and Declan are dancing close. They’re putting their hands on each other, but not so much that it might cross a boundary. There’s always been chemistry between them, but whether they’d actually sleep with each other is another question. They both look gorgeous though, Dec’s chain glinting from under his t-shirt and Leah in her favourite cream trousers.

Alessia and Lauren have the attention of two guys dancing next to the group. Mason is looking a little defensive as Alessia dances near one of them. Bukayo tries to keep his energy up by getting him to sing along to whatever’s playing. It keeps him distracted at least.

Jarrod suddenly reappears looking concerned. “I can’t find my jacket”.

“Fuck” shouts Kai. “It’s not in the pile?”

“Nah, nah, I’ve looked there”. The obvious question, but it’s always courteous. “I’m gonna check at the bar if it’s been handed in”.

“I’ll come with” says Kai. The dancefloor isn’t agreeing with him tonight. He grabs Martin on the shoulder for a second. “I don’t trust those fuckers behind Alessia and Lauren, keep an eye on them”.

Martin nods. He doesn’t trust them either. The songs are all starting to feel a bit intense. He dances over to the girls to see if they’re doing good, trying to intonate a vibe check with Lauren without saying anything.

She shrugs. He decides they ought to swap places.

That doesn’t make the guys happy. One of them tries to slyly follow Lauren over without making it look obvious. Martin sarcastically moves over to try and block him.

“The fuck?” the guy mutters, but the Norwegian pretends he doesn’t hear.

The guy doesn’t leave, however, sliding his hands down Lauren’s body.

“Do you wanna fuck off?” she swings round, her bag flailing.

The guy plays innocent. Martin doesn’t know what to do, trying to ward this shitbag off with bad vibes. But he looks over to Alessia to see her trying to stop the other guy from kissing her.

“Mate!” he shouts, unsure if she should try and pull him away. Alessia is being polite and nudging his face out of the way of her lips.

“My man, she doesn’t want you” interjects Bukayo. He’s got the confidence to push him away.

“Mate, who the fuck are you?” gruffs the other guy.

“Doesn’t matter, she isn’t into you” shoves back B.

“Whatever.” What a prick, thinks Martin. And both of these twats are still hanging around.

Leah comes ploughing through, having seen the situation. “Hey everyone!” she says mockingly, loud enough for the guys to hear. She pulls Lauren and Alessia over to her.

Alessia says something to the girls, and Leah indicates to get off the dancefloor. The boys follow suit. They end up standing by some tables close to the bar. Martin senses the night slipping away. There are people spilling over from the dancefloor near them and everything is feeling too crowded. Declan isn’t looking happy, unsure what to say.

Jarrod and Kai are back. “You’re kidding!” says Mase. Jaz’s face says it all; there’s been no luck with the jacket.

“I’m fucked off, I’ve had that jacket for ages” rants Jaz. Dec goes over to try and comfort him.

Leah and Alessia have gone to the loos. Bukayo is sat on one of the stools, energy sapped.

“You thinking of heading?” asks Martin. It may as well be ‘I’m leaving’.

“Mmmm, I think so”. B shakes his head as he fiddles with the remains of his vodka coke.

Kai suddenly launches into a rage. “Mate, get the fuck away. You’re pathetic.” That same guy from earlier has tried to sneak through to the crowd to dance with Lauren again.

“Eugh, you’re so fucking gross”. Lauren shoves him away and gets behind the boys.

Kai’s really having a go at them, putting his fingers in their face and slipping into German every other sentence. It’s rare that Martin’s seen him this angry, practically spitting out his words. Mase comes over to pull him back. “Just shove off, alright?” he placates.

The guy swears at them and goes back to his mates. Martin watches him as he goes and sees the same dickhead from the gents with his stupid Louis Vutton t-shirt in the group. He hates that he didn’t feel like he could do more.

The girls are back from the loos, and Leah is practically making for the door already. “Come on gang” says Declan, weaker than his earlier announcements. They get their things and make their way up the stairs.

Out on the street, they try to arrange who’s getting in who’s taxi. Chips are off the table, sadly. No one’s feeling up for going down to the takeaways, and the alcohol has all got a bit much. Dec has Leah in his arms, trying to give her some comfort. Those dickheads really ruined everyone’s nights. Mase, Kai and B are still muttering about them, whilst Jaz keeps his hands in his pockets, now jacket-less, very much still pissed off. Martin’s having no luck with Uber, so he goes to find a cashpoint to flag down a cab instead.

“Right, me, Lauren and Alessia are gonna get in this one” says Mase, having seen his car arriving. At least everyone tries to remember the better parts of the night as they’re saying their goodbyes. Plans for later in the week and next weekend get half-mentioned.

“Love you Martin, see you soon”. Alessia gives the Norwegian an enveloping hug courtesy of her puffer jacket.

“What a load of shit eh” he remarks.

“Fuck them. See you soon”.

“Text us when you’re back” waves Declan, shouting down the street. “Will do” comes back from Alessia.

“I’m just gonna walk” says Bukayo.

“No, you’re not” says Leah, launching up from Declan. “We’re gonna find a six seater”. She takes charge of the taxi search.

“Nah, it’s okay”.

“No” commands Leah. B backs down. “Look, there’s one”. She heads over to ask the driver how much. The boys vaguely wander in her direction. She waves her hand and indicates for them to come over.

No one says much on the ride home. Martin aimlessly looks out of the window, the crowds gradually thinning out, passing the late night shops and unlit offices. It’s well past 3am by now and he’s been exhausted by it all.

Hugs and handholding follow everyone as they leave – Bukayo first, then Leah. “Text me when you’re back" each of them ask as they get out.

Eventually, they’re at Declan and Kai’s stop.

“Do you guys wanna come up?” Dec asks Jarrod and Martin.

“Ah, I think I’ll skip” says Jarrod, cosied by the warmth of the taxi.

“No worries man, get to bed” says Dec as he fist bumps him. “Martin?”

“Yeah, go on, I’ll come up”. Martin’s glad Declan asked. He’s feeling off and doesn’t fancy going back to his flat just yet. “See you soon Jaz.”

Up in the flat, Kai is haphazardly making some toast. He’s calmed down a bit, but is still really rather tipsy. Plates and cupboards clang as he makes his food. Declan’s thumbing through his records, trying to find something chill to soundtrack the end of the night. Martin is slumped on the sofa, watching him work through his collection.

“I can’t stand those sorts of people. Why do we go out?” Martin says to the room.

“I always say I’m done with clubbing” muffles Kai, mouth full of toast, “and then I never say no”.

Martin sniggers. “You were right about those guys though”.

“Yeah”. It’s only really a consolation from Kai.

Declan’s whacks on an old Bowie record, volume low, and wraps his legs up on his armchair.

“You and Leah good?” asks Kai, joining them.

“Yeah, we’re good. She was just fucked off about it all.” Dec runs his hand through his hair. He turns to the Norwegian. “Are you okay Martin?” he asks, more sternly.

It’s the question he wanted someone to ask. “I’m…eh, I dunno. I wish I could have done more when it was happening.”

“Yeah man…don’t knock yourself though” reassures Declan. “You never know how they’re gonna react.”

“Exactly” muffles Kai, still speaking with his mouth full. “I’ve seen people get punched for it.”

“I think I’m also just a bit…” continues Martin, finding his words, “...like, I’ve been waiting for this all week, and then that happens, and then Jarrod gets his coat nicked, and…” He trails off.

This might not have been the laidback afters that Declan had in mind. But that’s not important to him. They all end up talking through how the night has left them feeling, and perhaps more pertinently, how they’re all feeling in general. The kind of conversations that need it to be at least 4am to really work.

The record comes to the end. Kai may be tired, but he never looks it. Always quite spritely with his movements, despite how reserved he usually is. “I’m going off to bed lads, night night” he says, waving as he walks out.

“Night” the other two say back. Martin goes to gather his things and head off too. Declan follows him towards the door.

“Do you wanna stay here man? You look knackered” says Dec. Observant as ever. Martin looks bedraggled.

“Ah, I dunno if I wanna sleep on the sofa” mumbles Martin.

“Nah nah, come sleep in my bed.” Declan points to his room. “We can top and tail.”

“Are you sure?” Martin’s only asking out of politeness.

“Mate of course. I don’t really want you walking home like that.”

Dec chucks him some pyjamas whilst Martin piles his belongings in the corner. “Cheers lad” he says as he buttons off his shirt.

They’ve seen each other like this plenty of times before. The platonic intimacy of their friendship was something that got established early on. An unspoken care for each other in being able to be this open. Very rarely did they ever say anything about it, precisely because nothing needed to be said about it. Of course Declan was the kind of person who’d offer this sort of friendship. Of course Martin was the sort of person who would reciprocate.

The gentle spray of rain fimbles at the window. Dec turns the light out as Martin adjusts his end of the covers, careful not to pull them too far in his direction. His ears are still humming from the music, and his head feels light. It’s still dark outside, but it feels like early morning. Last time they did this, whilst staying at a mate’s house on a weekend away, they kept giggling so much they almost didn’t get to sleep. Not this time – but that’s okay. Martin just needs the company, and for all Declan’s stoicness, he needs it too.

#martin odegaard #declan rice #kai havertz #mason mount #jarrod bowen #bukayo saka #lauren james #leah williamson #alessia russo #football fanfic #martin odegaard fanfic #declan rice fanfic #kai havertz fanfic #arsenal fc fanfic

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lilirari · 11 months ago

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𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⊹ ( ⚽ ) . . . FAKE TEXTS ⁵ !

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ꩜⋆ we're back, baby ! please take this as a compensation for not posting any writing in the past week... i promise i'll work on all my drafts soon 🤞 anyways, who wanna be the cockroach to my lobster ? 🫣

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megs-1800 · 1 month ago

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Breaking Your Own Heart

Notes: This is based on a request from anonymous this took me a while to write so I do apologise for the delay and hope its what you wanted it to be like. Requests are still open.

Summary: Mason breaks up with you due to the stress of moving to Manchester, breaking apart your family and leaving you a single mum to your daughter together. But when Declan gets married and you both are invited, you haven't seen eachother since the break up, will you be able to remain civil? Will there be hope for you both yet?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 8.1K

Warnings: Fluff, Angst and mentions of drug use

It was 4 years ago when Mason and I met, I have travelled down to London to meet my friends at Uni. They decided they wanted to go to a new club that had opened up so we all ended up going. I wasn’t really one for clubbing but I enjoyed spending time with my friends. I was at the bar getting all us a drink when this man started coming up to me making advances I generally wasn’t interested and I was really started to get uncomfortable which I was shocked that he couldn’t see it on my face as my body language was saying it all. Next thing I knew I had an arm around my waist “Hey baby thanks for holding the spot at the bar” I looked at him to say who the hell are you, which he gave me a look back to say just go with it. I quickly replied “No worries baby what am I ordering?”. Which with this the guy who was bothering me at the bar quickly walked away. “Thanks for that, he just wouldn’t get the hint”. I smirked. “No worries I could never turn down a women in need”. You winked. I knew who you were I was a massive football fan but I still wanted to play it cool. “What do you want?” Mason gestured to the bar. “I was just ordering a couple of vodka lemonades for the group”. Which I pointed in the direction my friends were sitting in and realised they have now since gone and another group of people are now sitting in the space. My face dropped “Great they left me again, I am getting so sick of them leaving me to go hook up with some guys for fuck sake”. I go to walk away when suddenly feel a hand on my wrist “So just the one vodka lemonade then is it?”. You give me such a cheeky smile which makes my heart melt, I cannot believe I am stood here talking to Mason Mount. “its fine honestly, I am just going to go. My friends are gone so I will probably just go get a taxi but to my hotel”. Mason’s face falls as if he was disappointed. “You are more than welcome to join my table, I am sure they won’t mind one more” I now suddenly feel massively insecure “Honestly its fine, I know who you are Mason I am sure the last thing you want is to be stuck with me all night when you can have any girl you want in this bar”. You start to walk closer to me which closes the gab between us “and I want to spend the rest of my night with the beautiful girl in front of me, and I want to buy her a drink if she allows it. But honestly you can walk away now and I will wallow in my pity then I will never get to have my chance with you”. Bloody hell I am not sure if it is the amount of alcohol I have already consumed or was that smooth as fuck. I smiled and nodded.

The rest of the night was amazing we were all chatting and laughing away and I hit it off with the boys and their partners, especially Lauren (Declan’s girlfriend) we have been really getting to know eachother. When it was time to go, Mason claimed he didn’t really get much of a time to talk to me and asked for my number. He said “well I did kind of save your life tonight from creepy dude”. I laughed how overdramatic but no offence Mason Mount wanted my number I was defiantly happy to obliged.

We spent time getting to know eachother over text and facetime and before I knew it we were dating. He was the sweetest guy I have ever been with, he was constantly buying me presents and taking me out and we just had the best time together. I knew I wanted to be his after the first date. After about 6 months of officially dating the long distance was getting to us both, you didn’t live far from London but with your work and Mason’s schedule you literally only saw eachother a couple of times a week if that. Mason asked you to move to London which you were really nervous about at first but after some persuading by Mason you agreed.

Living together was a bliss at first, it was amazing living with Mason. It started to get lonely when he was away with training or games but he brought you a chocolate Labrador called Rocco which was great having a puppy in the house to give you some company. Mason always kept you out of the press as well, he always posted you as he wanted to make a point to say he was now taken but never posted your whole face which meant more of a peaceful life for you.

Everything was going well, that was until 2 years ago. Mason was away on an away game, I usually go to support him but I was working on Sunday so it made sense for me to stay home. It was Saturday night and I was checking the score and saw that Chelsea had won, I bet Mason is happy. I sent him a quick praise text “Well done baby! So proud!”. I curled back onto the sofa with Rocco and I looked on TV, it was an advert about pregnancy test and periods being late. It was a weird feeling I couldn’t explain it, I am on the pill so I do not have a period but then I suddenly think back to 3 weeks ago when I had an awful stomach bug and couldn’t keep anything down so the pill must not of been taken and that means I am now not protected for 7 days since then and I can definitely remember me and Mason had sex at least twice during this stage and OMG one of them it was like multiple times in a night due to a drunken haze. My toes curl again just thinking about it. Surely not I thought Surely I cannot be pregnant. I quickly run to the local shop and I pick up a clear blue digital, I need to be 100% sure I don’t want to be worrying about if there is a line or not. I quickly run to the bathroom and its the longest 3 minutes of my life. That’s when it flashes up Pregnant 2-3 weeks. SHIT! What are we going to do?

Mason was amazing as soon as I told him he was the happiest I have ever seen it, there was not even an inch of panic inside him, it was all excitement. He was amazing all throughout the pregnancy always made sure me and the baby were all okay he was my rock. The day we brought Esme home Mason’s family were all waiting to greet you. You were in a complete bubble you have never been happier.

It was hard being a mum, Esme struggled with sleeping and eating when she was first born so I was completely sleep deprived as she was constantly screaming and Mason was constantly out the house with training, or games, or shoots/promotions. It was tough and put a massive strain on you both. You were over an hour away from your family so it was hard not having that support, you leaned on Lauren as Jude was born around the same time so you were both going through the same thing. However you wanted and needed Mason but he was never around.

Things started to get worse when they were discussions of Mason moving from Chelsea, you didn’t want to believe it and you both had massive arguments about this. “WELL ITS MY CAREER WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO! JUST SIT AT HOME WITH YOU ALL DAY Y/N!” You were more emotional than usual since having Esme and you hated screaming with Mason but now you got so much fire in you the fights got so much more confrontational. “WELL JUST LEAVE ME AND ESME THEN MASON! IF YOUR FUCKING CAREER IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN YOUR DAUGHTER”. Mason was so shocked at this which made him more angry “HOW DARE YOU Y/N! YOU KNOW ESME IS MY WORLD WHY DO YOU THINK I AM DOING ALL THIS TO MAKE A GOOD FUTURE FOR HER, FOR US Y/N! FOR OUR FUCKING FAMILY!!”. I can feel the tiredness overwhelming me now, I hate arguing with Mason but sometimes he never sees it from my point of view. “Well Mason just think you are trying to build a future for us by pushing away how does that makes senses baby?”. At that I walk into the other room pick up Esme who is chilling in her play area and walk upstairs. I can feel my tears running down Esme’s check as I am holding her so close. I can here Mason shouting stuff at himself and slamming cupboards downstairs but right now all I want to do is curl up with my baby and forget about all of this bullshit.

About 6 months later, there are now rumours about Mason moving to Manchester United. I didn’t want to believe it. Manchester is miles away and I really do not want to pack up my life again and move further away. Everytime I ask Mason about it he curves away from the questions and has become very distant due to the injuries and all this gossip going around so it feels like we are strangers again. I go to bed alone and wake up and he is already gone it feels like we are not even together anymore.

Mason explained that his parents were coming over this evening which I was fine about, I love Debbie and Tony and they love me like their own and they absolutely love Esme. Me and Mason prepped dinner together before they came over and we even had a quickie in the shower, it was the closest we had been in months, something felt off. We had dinner and was chatting away with Esme in the highchair munching on some pasta, getting more on herself then in her mouth. After we finished dinner Tony turned to Mason “Are we all going to talk about this now?” I looked at Mason confused “talk about what?” Mason nodded and turned to me “Manchester United have approached me, I need to leave Chelsea and they are offering me a deal I cannot really say no to, I just don’t know what to do because I know you are not on board with moving that far away”. I am so shocked, I don’t know what to say how can he seriously be ambushing me with his parents here is he serious. “Well Mason, I gave up my life to move down to London to be with you and now you want me to pack up my life again to move all the way to Manchester? That’s not fair Mase”. I am directly looking at Mason and his head is down. Tony buts into the conversation “Its part of being with a footballer darling, you need to be able to cope with the moving around constantly ask any WAG”. I feel a bit offended that Tony has but in, this is supposed to be a conversation between me and Mason and our daughters future. I am not winning this argument. “This move is massive for me y/n please it would be good for my career, I could really do with your support. Please think about me in this situation and not just yourself”. Fuck you Mount I am thinking my blood is now boiling at this last bit “I am not thinking about myself Mason, I don’t care, I am thinking about our daughters support system which you should too. We have no one in Manchester, you think both sets of parents are miles away. Dec and Lauren is in London with Jude who she spends all her time with, all our friends everything is here Mason. Think about your fucking daughter” I can feel myself welling up at this point I am defeated “You know what Mase, it looks like you have already made your decision anyway. So you do what you want as usual. Thank you both for coming, please leave your plates in the sink I will sort the washing up out later”. At that I stand up, walk over to Esme and pick her up out of her highchair and walk myself back in our bedroom. Once inside I feel myself break as I sob into my daughter, I cannot believe he has done this to our family.

Months passed and Mason and I didn’t really didn’t speak about that night further, it was really cold between us and Mason signed for Manchester United. I was excited for him but I hated the fact at moving all the way to Manchester. I went with Mason obviously as I wanted my child to have a stable family however it turned out to be even more toxic. Mason became very distant and with the injuries and the hate he was getting from moving it was really getting to him, I was trying to be there for him and to hold our family together but it was just not working. He kept pushing me away and everytime I tried to push it would cause an argument. He hardly spent time with Esme which hurt me more seeing my little girl getting upset because she cannot see her daddy and everytime I speak to Mason about that again you guessed it, it caused an argument.

I have put Esme to sleep and she is all curled up, I have come downstairs and Mason is curled up on the sofa. I sat on the sofa and the tension could be cut with a knife its dead silent with both of us just starting at the TV. “You got something to say?” Mason said in a harsh tone. I looked at him with tired eyes, all we have done is fight since we came to Manchester, its so toxic which we both know. “What do you want me to say Mason, everytime I try and talk to you it has caused an argument and I am getting real tired of arguing”. He turns to look at me and I cannot tell if its anger or sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know y/n, I know I have been distant recently its just so hard with everything at the moment I am struggling to cope and right now I am trying to focus on my career but you keep pushing me to focus on us. You and Esme are my world and always will be but right now maybe we just need time”. I cannot believe I am here this right now. “Are you serious right now Mount?! You dragged me and your daughter all the way up to Manchester to just break up with us? How do you think I feel, I am here all alone all day with Esme, no friends, no family here, then when you get in you never walk talk or spend time with us. You are not the only one getting hate, since Esme is born I am getting it too, and all the cheating rumours going around that you are seen with this and that girl its fucking hard Mason! But I am still here making sure you are okay. And now you just want to throw it all away, like all I have done means nothing to you? All I have done is be supportive of the move even though you know I didn’t want to do this but I never said anything and now what? You just want to leave me really”. At this last part I break I am now in full on tears. “Please don’t cry baby” You wipe my cheek and rest my cheek in your hands “I love you and Esme more then anything in the world just please everything is getting too much for me at the moment, and it will be easier if I can just focus on my career instead of having to focus on my career and us. I will still be here for you and Esme I just need some time please Y/N, please give me that”. At this point I can feel the tears pouring down my face which I cannot hold in anymore. “I cannot believe you Mase, after everything we have been through really you just want to give up. You are saying we are your world, you just don’t love us enough to fight for us I suppose.” I start to stand up and make my way over to the living room exit and turn towards Mason. “Don’t worry Mase, I will start packing now I will make sure we are gone as soon as possible”. As I make my way up to our now used to be shared bedroom I can feel my heart shatter into a hundred pieces.

I moved out after a couple of days and moved myself and Esme back to (your hometown). You stayed with your parents for a couple of days and put some of your stuff in storage. That’s when Mason messaged you and explained that he brought you a flat for you and Esme as he didn’t want his daughter on the streets. I appreciated he did this because I would struggle to rent somewhere on my own and couldn’t live with my parents forever. It will still bitter though, I was once the love of his life but I guess I didn’t mean what I thought I meant to him.

Mason and I broke up 10 months ago now, I read on the news that his injury spell has continued which I bet has killed him. He only has seen Esme a couple of times when Debbie and Tony have had her, he has popped over to see her. He always posts gifts and clothes to the house which I appreciate and will send me money every month which he said is to support her and for the bills which again I always respond explaining that I appreciate. Which he replies saying “Just because I am not in Esme’s life as much as I want, I still want to make sure she has the world. I want to make sure you do not stress trying to provide for her as well as I know you will give her everything you have and you deserve to treat yourself as well ;)”That text made me smile. Me and Mason haven’t seen eachother since the breakup, and we only communicate over text message, we usually keep the chat aimed at Esme which I send him pictures and updates, as soon as the text goes off topic the other person usually doesn’t reply which we are both guilty for. I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

Mason POV

Its been 10 months since y/n and I broke up. I cannot believe I did it, it was the worst mistake of my life. I miss her more then anything else and I miss my baby girl, I miss Esme more than words can say. My injury spell has continued and I have become a shell of myself. I cannot believe I broke up with y/n, she was my rock my everything I hate myself for ending it, she was the only thing that was keeping me positive and now she is gone. I would give anything to be a family again. That’s why I send her money and things for Esme, I don’t want her panicking about providing for her because I know she will always put Esme first, I want you to happy, that’s all I ever wanted.

I received a text message : “Yo Mase I know its been a tough time lately but Lauren wanted to know if you wanted to come round for dinner tonight, we having a couple of other people over too. To celebrate the engagement and all that. I would really appreciate if you came”. I looked at the message and felt my heart sank, I know this would be something you jumped at the opportunity to go to, I know how excited you would be about Dec and Lauren getting married, but now I do not get to enjoy these moments with you anymore. I quickly replied back explaining I would be there and to send me the details about times and all that. I didn’t want to go but I know I had be there for my friend.

When I arrived there was a couple of the other guys are their girlfriends there and a couple of Lauren friends, part of me really wished you were there so I could see you again. Actually no all of me wished you were there, to see those beautiful eyes and that contagious smile would be all I need right now to get me out of the head space I am in. We sit down to eat and I look across the table hoping to see you but you are not there, I can feel my heart ache again. I can hear all the constant chatter across the table but my mind is zoned out all I can think about is you. One of the boys pulls me out of daydream and asks “Hows Esme doing Mason?” I wish I knew I thought but I thought better of it and faked a smile “Yeah she is doing well thanks, you know what its like growing up way to quickly” and made a little giggle which made the whole table copy. The rest of the table continue in conversation as I help Dec and Lauren clear the plates from dinner, we take them into the kitchen. “Congratulations bro” I saw wrapping my arm around Dec shoulders “I cannot believe you two are getting married its going to be one hell of a party” I say winking at Dec. Lauren then buts in “I am marrying the love of my life Mase, its not a party” which she said in a jokish tone which we all laughed at. “How is she doing Lauren?” I instantly regret asking that as soon as I say it but I need to know. Lauren gives me a small smile trying to console me I think. “She is doing well Mase. Esme is incredible she is a really intelligent girl she is walking and talking and her personality is amazing and so confident. She is amazing Mase honestly”. I smiled its so good how hearing my baby girl is striving in life, but that’s not who I meant. “Thank you Lauren but I didn’t mean Esme, hows Y/N/N doing?” Lauren gives me a sympathetic look “I know what you meant Mase. She is doing well now. She really struggled when you broke up, she was struggling to look after herself, don’t get me wrong she always made sure Esme was cared for, but she struggled Mase. She always said loosing you was the hardest thing. Especially with you making her move to Manchester to just break up with her, that was out of order Mase!” Lauren shouts which makes me wince, I was a dick for doing that I still cannot believe I did that to her. “I know Lauren, I thought if we all moved to Manchester it would help. I hate it Lauren I hate what I did and I wish I never ended it and worked harder to keep my family. Believe me if there was anything I could do to get them back I would. I even started messaging her the past couple of days but she is ignoring me. I love her more then anything Lauren honestly, I just want to make sure she is okay and happy. She deserves the world”. Lauren looks down as if she is scared to tell me the next bit What doesn’t she want to tell me? I look her with pleading eyes I need to make sure she is okay. “She is good Mase, actually she is really good. She started seeing this guy a couple of months ago and they started hitting it off. Esme absolutely loves him and it’s the happiest I have seen Y/N in months. She is allowed to be happy Mase, so please just let her have this. You have hurt her enough”. I look down at the floor trying to hold it all together, I can feel a lump in my throat I cannot believe I lost my chance and you have moved on. At that I said my goodbyes and quickly escorting myself out of Declan’s I can feel the lump in my throat as I leave trying to stop myself from breaking. I cannot believe y/n moved on, I don’t blame her. She is an amazing girl I cannot believe I let her go.

I have been a mess since finding out y/n had moved on, and the fact that my daughter loves him too. They are being a family without me, the thought of this breaks me. I know I was the one who ended it but I didn’t want to break up I just needed some time to get my head around everything. I would get on my hands and knees and beg for her back if needed. I needed her back, I am nothing without them both. I need y/n and I need my baby.

More time passes and you become less talkative with me, you even stop sending me updates about Esme. I have to ask for them which you always send me when requested but you used to message me everyday before and now you are keeping the conversation very blunt I am so broken. It comes to week of Declan and Laurens wedding and all I can think about is seeing you. I know that Esme is the flower girl and you are a bridesmaid. I am the best man, this is my chance to apologise. This is my chance to win you back.

Mason POV

I look at myself in the mirror and straighten my tie. “I cannot believe you are getting married mate. Lauren is amazing you are so lucky” I put my arm around him and I can feel my heart ache at the thought of you. “I will go see the girls quickly so I can grab Jude”. Declan nods and I start walking to the other side of the hotel where I know the girls were getting ready. I knock on the door and let out the breath that I didn’t even realise I was holding. As one of the bridesmaids open the door and let me in I smile at Jude and Lauren as I come in. “You look amazing Lauren! Congratulations!!” I hug Lauren being careful not to ruin her dress. “I am here to pick up Jude” I explain which Lauren nods and points over to Jude. Jude is playing with Esme in the corner and that’s when my eyes meet yours. You look absolutely breathtaking. You have a mint green dress which matches my tie and your hair is all curled and up in a bun with a few strands of hair curled around your face. You’re absolutely breathtaking. I can feel my heart beating through my chest. You smile at me and I can feel my whole body heating up. “Hey” I say that’s all I can get out I can feel my palms sweating I do not know why I am so nervous. “You look incredible” which I can see the small smile on your face as you look down. This is the first time we are seeing eachother in person since the breakup. You give me a small giggle then respond “Right back at you Mount”. My heart melts at hearing her voice again and seeing that small giggle I forgotten how much I miss you. I am suddenly brought out of my trance “daddddddyyyyyyy!!!” I hear as Esme comes running over to me. She has a long puffier dress which is white and has a ribbon round it which is mint green which matches us. I quickly pick her up and gave her the biggest hug, I didn’t realise how tight I was holding her until she asked me to put her down. I slowly lower her and give her the biggest smile which she returns. I quickly see the time and see I need to get back to Declan. I don’t want to leave you though. “I will catch you later? I need to get Jude to Declan” I ask which you do not respond and just give me a small smile and nod.

The wedding was beautiful but I just keep looking at you, it makes me think of what could have been between us if I didn’t fuck it up this could have been our wedding. She looked incredible, you always have been the prettiest women in the room in my eyes. I cannot believe I let you go.

After the wedding the reception went amazing, everyone was in good spirits. Everyone was chatting away over me but I wasn’t listening all I was doing is watching you. I can see the way your lips touch the champagne glass wishing those lips were on mine.

You go to walk outside on the decking and I know this is my chance, so I follow you out. As I come outside I see you speaking to a guy. You are all giddy which I relive the memory of knowing this is what you are like when you are drunk. You walk round the back which I follow but ensure I keep my distance at the same time. You walk over to a guy, he is tall and has a warm cheeky smile and I watch you wrap your drunk arms around him and hold him tight and engage in a deep kiss. The sight of it makes me feel sick. I watch you two interact with eachother, it breaks my heart that’s how we used to be. I suddenly get a hint of a weed then I realise what that guy is smoking is a joint. I watch you two talk for another 10 minutes then watch him finish his smoke and kiss you goodbye and go back inside this is my chance I thought.

I slowly begin walking over to you carefully and quietly as you are on your own I grab your wrist a little so you turn to look at me “he best not be smoking that round my daughter” I know that sounded more harsh then I wanted and I didn’t want to cause an argument but I was shocked at the sight. I see you roll your eyes and let out a little scoff “He doesn’t smoke around Esme and he never really smokes anyway he only did because someone at the wedding offered it to him and they were sharing it. But you know what I do not need to justify anything to you, he is a grown man he can do what he wants but the thought that you would think of me letting drugs be around my daughter fucking really! And yeah Mason hear that she isn’t YOUR daughter she is MY daughter” which you made the empathies on the Your and My. That made my heart break hearing that.

“Is this what you came here for Mason, to just start shit. I really don’t need to hear it Mason. I have spent too much of my life arguing with you and letting you upset me and today isn’t going to be one of them”. I look down as I can see the tears starting to form in your eyes. All I want to do is grab and kiss you to take the pain away but I know I cannot do it.

“I am sorry y/n I never meant to hurt you, I was selfish I never should of moved you all the way to Manchester to just push you away. I just didn’t know how to cope with it. I didn’t want to drag you down with me you deserved all the happiness in the world and I couldn’t offer you that in that moment of time”. At this point I have closed the gap between us and I am holding your hands in mine. I can see the tears running down your face I am not sure if those are tears of sadness or anger right now. Your eyes are totally blank. “Here” I say passing you a bottle of water “I can see all you have drunken all day is champagne. You hate champagne and you probably going to be on the floor soon so lets make sure you make it home in one piece so please hydrate”. I wink at you, in which you return this with a small smile and mutter a quiet thank you whilst you can a couple of sips. “What are you doing here Mase” In which I laugh at that and make a cocky comment “Well its kind of my best friends wedding” In which you roll your eyes at that comment and I think I here a small laugh in return but I really couldn’t tell. “I mean what are you doing here Mase, outside with me. Like why have you decided now of all times to come speak to me like do you really need to do this now”. You sound so scared in your voice I know I need to tread carefully.

“I came to say sorry y/n, I am sorry for breaking your heart. You are my world. You both are, you and Esme. My life has been incomplete since you have been gone. I would give anything to go back in time and change what happened and fight harder for us.” At this point my hands are now holding your waist and I have brought you into me. We are eye to eye and I can see the hurt in your eyes as you are trying not to break. You push me away gently, “No Mase, you don’t get to have a couple of drinks and now suddenly you are sorry. What you did Mason, I would of stayed by your side through everything. You gave up, you pushed us away.” I look at her with so much regret. “I know I did, I never wanted to walk away it just all got so much it was so much pressure from me from everywhere. Everyone needed me to be the best footballer, and you needed me to be a family man. I just needed the world to stop spinning for 5 mins for me to get my head around everything. I am sorry, if I could go back in time I would choose you, our family. All I want is you and Esme. I have been a mess without you”. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest this is the moment I have been waiting for. “The problem is Mase, I can forgive you for breaking my heart, but I can never forgive you for breaking here’s” At this I can see your entire body break, all the hurt you were building up is now coming flooding at your eyes. The memory of breaking both your hearts hurts me, I never wanted any of this.

“We are a happy Mase, both of us. We are a family me, Esme and Daniel. Please just let us be. Getting over you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I finally found a guy who makes me feel the way you used to make me feel. Please Mase, don’t do this not now please.” I hear you started to control your breathing to stop you from hyperventilating throughout the sentence as you continue to let the tears fall. The way you said the way I used to make you feel shattered my heart, and knowing you now feel this for someone else breaks me also.

“You deserve so much better y/n, much more then what this Daniel can offer you.” I say pleading. “Oh what Mase, do I deserve someone like you! Someone who drags me and his daughter all the way up to Manchester to just break up with them! Do I deserve that Mase?!” You are now shouting and throwing your arms about, it probably wasn’t the best time to have this conversation. “You know what I mean y/n people like him are not good for people like you”. At this point you are now shooting daggers at me across the decking. “People like him, what the hell does that even mean?” You spit out. “He had one joint Mason, he is an adult he is allowed. He doesn’t do it around Esme. He is not a drug addict. What the fuck are you even talking about Mase. Go fuck off!” I can see you are starting to get defensive. “He is not who you think he is Y/n/n. I know I am not your favourite person right now but please just hear me out. He does a lot more drugs then you think and his last relationship ended because he robbed his ex for everything she had, I am assuming for drug debt, and left her in so much debt. I don’t want that to be you please y/n, be smart about this.” Her eyes start to soften I can tell she is in disbelief right now not knowing to believe me or not. “Your lying! How do you even know all of this? Did you like stalk me or something?!” I try to walk forward to comfort you but as I take a step forward you take a step back. “Of course I was looking out for you y/n. As soon as I heard you were dating this Daniel I had to check him out I had to look out for you and Esme. So I asked about him but what I heard wasn’t great, but I knew if I did it over text you wouldn’t listen to me. She is my daughter y/n I deserve to know who you are bringing into in her life”.

“Don’t act like you care about her Mason. You know ‘father of the year!’ tell me what her favourite colour is? Or the last time she cried? Or what her favourite bedtime story is?” At that I look down as we both knew I couldn’t answer these questions. “Exactly Mason you cannot tell me! You know nothing about her, but you know what Daniel can answer every single one of those questions. He is more of a father to Esme then you ever will be so I beg you stop acting like you care about us, because all your care about is yourself Mase. I can’t…. I can’t… I’m…I’m gonna be sick”. I watch as you quickly look around and dart for the bin on the edge of the decking and start throwing up. I knew you shouldn’t of drunk that much champagne you cannot handle it. I quickly run over to you and pull back the few stands of hair that have fallen out of your bun to make sure you do not get sick in your hair and start rubbing your back, giving you reassurance works like ‘its alright’ and ‘that’s it get it all out’.

Once you are done being sick you stand up and drink some more of the water that I gave you earlier. “I cannot do this now Mason. You made your decision, you didn’t want us. Please let us carry on with our lives. Let us be happy please Mason. If you don’t want to do it for me. Do it for that innocent little girl. She loved you and you broke her heart. You weren’t there whilst she cried for you every night. She is finally happy Mase, she deserves that so please let her be happy”. At that I let you walk away as I can feel a tear slip down my cheek. That’s not the way I thought tonight would go but I guess I will just have to let you both be happy, at the end of the day you both deserve that.

The rest of the night was bittersweet, I watched as you danced the night away with that Daniel. You were grinding on him and making out with him on the dance floor. I know you were more drunk then you were earlier, you were always like that once you were drunk you loved making me jealous. I know you were doing it to just wind me up because as you had your back to him as he hold your waist tightly grinding you into him, your eyes were on me the whole time. It hurt so much, but I knew I deserved that. The part that hurt worse is when Esme came to dance with you both, he held her in his arms as he had his arms wrapped around you as you all were dancing. I can tell this time you were not trying to make me jealous you were living in the moment. You looked so happy, like one big happy family. I could feel my heart shatter. I had to walk away from the dance floor. I couldn’t watch it anymore. I have lost you both.

A couple of weeks later, I got home from training. It was a cold wet winter day. I had a hot shower the feeling of the water hitting my skin instantly warming me up felt like ecstasy. It was a later training day today so by the time I have made dinner, I now find myself wrapped up on the sofa trying to stay warm watching shit on TV, and can feel myself yawning as its now getting late. I can feel myself starting to drift off when suddenly the door bell rings which wakes me up. I quickly open the app on my phone to see who is at the door, when I see you slightly wet from the rain, I can see your face is puffy and soaked not sure if that’s from the rain or if you have been crying. You have got Esme wrapped in your arms and I can tell she is completely knock out asleep.

I feel myself running to the door, when I open the door the sight of you melts my heart. I can now tell the reason why your face is so puffy is from crying you look a mess. But a beautiful mess. “I am s..s..s..sorry for coming down, I didn’t know where else to go. My parents are on holiday and I started driving and then I realised I just drove here. I am s..s..s..sorry for disturbing you”. I quickly pull you inside to the warm. “You can put her upstairs. I always kept her room the same you know in case she ever stayed”. You quickly nod and run Esme upstairs, you being here is all I ever wanted. You come downstairs and you look defeated. I offered you a drink which you decline and I direct you to come and sit in the living room.

You plop yourself onto the sofa which I come and sit next to you, placing a hand on your thigh trying to give you some reassurance. “I am sorry for just turning up I just didn’t know where else to go”. I continue to rub your thigh “Don’t apologise I told you I am always here. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Has something happened to Esme?” I say concerned, you now take my hand of your thigh and hold my hands in yours. “You were right, you were right Mase?” I know look at you confused I have no idea what you are talking about. “Daniel turned out to be the guy you said he was. He was in massive drug debts. He took loans out in my names to clear them. I had a drug dealer turn up at my door threatening me and Esme if he didn’t pay this money. I cannot believe he would do this to me”. You start to break, I wrap you in my arms and put you onto my lap as you cry into my chest, I can feel you soaking my t-shirt as you cry.

“So what happened with him, how did you leave it?” I say hopeful, hoping that you would say you have ended it. “The guy turned up at lunchtime, I explained I had no idea what happened and about this money. The guy left but explained the money has to be paid one way or the other. When Daniel got home I confronted him about it and he confessed everything. He owes like £10k worth of debt and he even explained that he was only getting close to me because he knew Esme’s was yours and you would give us child maintenance and support. He just used me to get your money. I just feel so stupid. I kicked him out and explained no one is turning up at my door. I just feel so awful I didn’t know where to go, I just didn’t feel safe in the flat right now.”.

I look at you with so much pity, I always wanted you back but I didn’t want to be right. I didn’t want you hurting this much. “You and Esme can stay here the night if that helps you to be safe. You know I will always keep both of you safe” I can see you smile, I look down at you as you are wrapped in my arms. You look at my lips and before I know you have crashed your lips to me. You turn to straddle me and deepen the kiss. I have waited so long for this kiss. You stop the kiss and look into my eyes still straddling me. “I am sorry, we shouldn’t be doing this. My head is just all over the place at the moment”. I put a strand of hair behind your eyes and cup your face, you are the most beautiful women I have ever met. “I am not complaining. All I have wanted for months is to feel your kiss”. You giggle at that comment. “If me and Esme could stay tonight that would be great but do not want to impose if you have plans”. I can feel my heart begin to beat fast, I have waited so long to have you this close again. “You do not even have to ask, I am so happy to have you both here again”. You start to move off my lap, I begin to look down as I can feel a lump in my throat coming. “Does Esme hate me? The way you spoke about me knowing nothing about her life, does she think I am a rubbish dad, does she hate me?”

This time you close the gap between us and cup my face in your hands, “she loves you more then words can say Mase. I just said what I said to hurt you because I was shocked and hurt at the time. I always speak to you about her, I show her pictures of you and your family always speak about you. She understands you are busy. Don’t get me wrong she misses you, and always asks why her daddy isn’t around but she loves you Mase I promise. She is going to be so happy when she finds out she is going to wake up in her daddy’s house”. That speech makes my heart melt. I stand up which follow my steps and I wrap you up in my arms. “I love you so much y/n, you and Esme are my everything. I love you”. You smile back into my chest and I feel you tightening the grip on my waist. Maybe there is a chance for us. Maybe we can be a family again.

#angst #fluff and angst #football #footballer imagine #footballer imagines #footballer x reader #footballer x you #manchester united #mason mount fanfic #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount #declan rice #breakup #heartache

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taasgirl · 1 year ago

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tasteful / jude bellingham pt 3.

summary: jude wants to apologise, but y/n is having absolutely none of it.

read part two! here

liked by jackgrealish, milliebright, jordannobbs and 33, 091 others ynusername I got my girls 💗

jordannobbs My girl

judebellingham ☮️

declanrice Omfg

user71628 how did y/n get her leg up that high omfg

leahwilliamson gorgeous people

view beathmead's story

liked by judebellingham, keirawalsh, lucybronze and 27, 827 others maryearps Y/N's ability to down drinks always baffles me...

racheldaly she's still passed out

jackgrealish Dw she's learning to build her tolerance 🤣

leahwilliamson Please don't tell me those were all for her.

declanrice Atta girl @ ynusername

liked by declanrice, ynusername, alexgreenwood and 451, 294 others england Recovery and media day for your Lions and Lionesses! Interviews coming soon!

user52212 y/n and declan was a duo i didnt know i needed

user91033 Declan is so fine and for what

liked by harrykane, ellieroebuck, judebellingham, and 163, 811 others ynusername I think they're looking for some tips

lj10 @ masonmount What are you laughing at huh

kalvinphillips why wasn't I invited to this secret session 😢

trentarnold66 Technique goes crazy

liked by alexgreenwood, madders, ynusername and 61, 282 others england Our annual England Awards Ceremony will be taking place soon. The following awards will be given:

Best Player - Men's and Women's Best Attacker - Men's and Women's Best Defence - Men's and Women's Best Goalkeeper - Men's and Women's Best Performance - Men's or Women's Best Combined 11

Voting is internal, and is decided by coaches, peers, and staff. Stay tuned for the results.

Let me know in the comments if you want to be tagged in the next instalment and if you like the series so far! Fyi, this might be a longish series, I prefer the 'chase' of enemies to lovers, so expect many parts!

Read part 4 here!

@bibissparkles @fashphotolife @hummusxx

#football #jude bellingham #soccer #jude bellingham smau #smau #jude bellingham fic #declan rice #football fanfic #football social media au #mary earps #football imagine #enemies to lovers #instagram au

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judecole · 4 months ago

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someone write for cole palmer right now 😭 im on the verge of hysteria

#cole palmer #football #england nt #england #harry kane #phil foden #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #fanfic #taa #trent alexander arnold #john stones #connor gallgher #declan rice #saka #bukayo saka #jordan pickford

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niftynellie · 2 years ago

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• Splash War •

Boyfriend!mason mount x reader

warnings: Fluff

̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

the hotel was strangely quiet when you and Stacey arrived back, the two of you had taken the kids out for the day while Mason and the rest of the team trained for their upcoming match against the USA. It was pushing bedtime for the two children as the four of you got out of the car, and three year old Poppy was utterly drained the heat and exhaustion from the day hitting her all at once.

"Aunty Y/n" she whined stopping in her tracks and tugging at your hand, her mom had already gone ahead with her older brother as the whole way home the young boy had been complaining about needing the toilet. So you volunteered to dawdle behind with Poppy. "whats wrong pops?" you asked sweetly turning round to see her puppy eyes staring up at you,her little arms raised and hands grabbing at the air. "mmh sleepy"

You smiled down at her. Her flushed cheeks, puppy eyes and pig tails cutting right through and tugging at your heart strings. "come here dot" you mumbled kneeling slightly and lifting her up resting her on your hip. Poppy immediately snuggling into you, her head resting in the crook of your neck. You and Mason had been together for three months when Poppy was born, so you'd watched her grow up and loved her just as much as Mason did.

When you walked through the recpetion you heard a voice call out, you turned around and saw Declan Rice coming over a big grin on his face. "hey müller man" you teased as he got beside you, he rolled his eyes before chuckling. "Where you headin’ to?" He asked smiling down at the girl on your hip, tickling her gently, "Well she's going to bed, and I'm going to find Mase. Have you seen him ‘round?"

"I have not, I'm assuming he's up in his room but i could be wrong…I'll see you around I've got a massage in five" Declan said as he looked down at his watch.

"oh what a hard life you live" you joked as he started walking backwards down the hall, he sent you another smile before saying goodbye and slipping away, You carried on your way up to Stacey's room.

̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

"As much as i love Harley and Pops, them kids aint half tireing" You said into the room as the hotel door closed behind you. After what Declan had said you had just assumed Mason would be in the room probably in bed watching a film. But when you rounded the corner he was no where to be seen. You felt a little silly for basically talking to yourself now, but you were more curious as to where your boyfriend had gone off to. On the bed was a little note, which after you dropped your bag down onto the chair in the corner, you picked up and read.

I'm down by the pool, come down when your back. Love you mase xx

You smiled down at the note and decided the night was still fairly young and still incredibly warm so a little dip in the pool would probably would be just the thing. So you grabbed a Bikini and a cute cover up to wrap round yourself.

Before you left the room you remembered you could see the pool from your little balcony. So you stepped outside and tried to spot where mason was, when you peered over the railing you could see him swimming around all by himself. You stood there for a moment and just watched him float around peacefully, a small chuckle leaving your lips when he started trying to do handstands his legs flailing in the air. That was when you decided to head down.

Outside the sun was setting but the thick Qatar heat still remained, You dropped your towel and cover up on a chair beside where Masons was. He was still underwater when you came around and sat down on the edge of the pool. He jumped slightly as he came up and saw you there but he quickly recovered and swam over to you with a smile. "Hi" he said sweetly as he stopped between your legs his wet hands coming up and resting on your hips. "hi" you smiled your own hands resting on his toned shoulders.

"How was your day?" He asked looking up from the water his thumbs rubbing little circles on your waist. You gave him a brief run down of how your day had gone, telling him all about the different shops you'd all been in and the cute restaurant you had gone to for dinner, even gushing about how cute Poppy was when she was tired. which he was more than familiar with but he still listened to everything you said so intently it was as if he'd never heard it before. And then when you'd finished he said "I'm starting to think Pops likes you more than me"

"I mean...who doesn't like me more than you" you teased grinning cheekily at him, Mason frowned playfully and pinched your sides making you laugh. you wriggled on the edge of the pool trying to swat his hands away which only egged mason on more his pinches turning to tickles. Making you wriggle even more trying to get away from his grasp. Which lead to you accidently slipping into the pool.

You bobbed back to the top and drew in a breath as you wiped the water away from your eyes and pushed back you hair, while Mason was beside himself laughing. "Your an ass" you groaned pushing you arms forward and splashing him. Starting a splash war, both you and Mason darting round the pool trying to dodge the others attacks your Laughter filling the little courtyard.

After a minute or two Mason manged to get behind you and send a huge wave hurtling over your head, and when you turned around after just wiping the water from your eyes he sent another splash directly into your face. So forceful you stumbled back slightly eyes stinging from the water. "that was mean mase"

"I'm sorry" Mason stuttered out through his laughter reaching out under the water to grab your hand and pull you closer to him, one hand wrapping round your waist to hold you flush against him while the other came up and he used his thumb to wipe the water droplets from your face. You smiled having him so close, your arms tightly wrapping round him. His hand settled on the side of your face once the droplets were gone, cupping your cheek. You subconsciously leant into the warmth of his touch, placing a sweet slow kiss on his lips.

You pulled away, leaving your faces still close enough you were basically sharing each breath, big cheesy grins on your faces. Your nails ran lines up and down Masons back under the water and the two of you just enjoyed the small moment of just being alone together. Which hadn't happened in the last couple weeks since everywhere the two of you went there was a teammate or there was games to play and training to go to. Mason leant in and pecked your lips over and over again, letting you know he'd been missing your touch just as much as you had been his.

But suddenly some yells came from behind you "no simps in the pool" was yelled three times from three different voices, before three men came hurtling into the pool. You and Mason both looked away from the splashes turning your heads and squeezing your eyes shut. When you both looked round your grips on eachother still there but looser you saw Belingham, Rice and Saka all coming up laughing.

"I hate all of you" Mason grummbled.

• • •

#football #footballer #footballer fic #footballer imagine #fanfic #mason mount #declan rice #bukayo saka #jude bellingham #mason mount fluff #mason mount fic #mason mount fanfic #fluff imagine #qatar 2022 #world cup 2022 #imagine #reader x mason mount

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canirove · 3 months ago

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Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 20

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“Olivia, where do you think you are going?” my mum asks me as I walk down the stairs.

“To work?”

“Don't you have a doctor's appointment to attend to today?”

“Yes, this afternoon.”

“What? I thought you said it was in the morning! I changed my shift to go with you!”

“I'm sorry, mum. But they called yesterday at the last minute saying that they had to reschedule it.”

“And why didn't you tell me?”

“I forgot” I shrug.

But I actually hadn't forgotten. I had been the one calling my doctor asking her if we could reschedule my appointment to the afternoon so Declan could come with me since he didn't have training. This was my first scan since I had told him everything, and he wanted to be there with me.

“Oh, Liv… I wanted to be there with you! Today they will definitely tell you if it's a boy or a girl!”

“I'm sorry, mum. You know I have too many things in my head right now and…”

“I know” she says, taking my hand on hers and giving it a little squeeze. “But I still wanted to be there for you. Your dad is already missing it since he is at that talk in Manchester.”

“I know. He was so excited…”

“He was” she says. “But who will be going with you then?”

“Kennedy.”

“What? Why her?”

“She was free and offered to come with me.”

“And Alex? He hasn't been to any scan yet, and he is the father of your child in case you have forgotten.”

“I have not, no” I sigh.

“Liv… I don't know what happened between you two and I respect your choice to not tell us… But in a few months there will be a baby, and they deserve to have a mother and a father that will take care of them.”

“They will have that, don't worry” I say. Because if Declan keeps his promise, our baby will have us both in their life. Maybe not together like a couple, but we will be there for them. “And I better go, I don't want to be late.”

“Ok. But be careful with the car and keep me updated about the doctor's appointment.”

“I will, mum. I promise. I love you” I say, kissing her cheek.

“I love you too, Olivia” she smiles.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hi, sorry I'm late” I say, getting into Declan's car. “There was a problem with that bloody coffee machine again, the technician wasn't picking up the phone, and then the power went out for an hour. It was a bit chaotic and… Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

“Uh?”

“My face. Is there something on it? I had pasta for lunch, so maybe I didn't clean all the tomato sauce.”

“There is no tomato sauce” Declan says.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

“How?”

“Like… that” I say, moving my hand in the air.

“You look beautiful today.”

“What?” I say with a nervous laugh, my cheeks already starting to burn.

“I mean, you always look beautiful. But today, a lot more.”

“Well… ummm… thanks.”

“You're welcome” Declan smiles. “Now, should we get going? I don't want us to be late to meet the little one.”

“Yes, of course” I reply, putting on my seatbelt. Or trying to.

“Here, let me help you.”

The moment our hands touch and he looks up, it's like we've traveled back in time to the day we met. I can feel the same electricity I felt when our fingers first touched running through my whole body, my mind starting to get lost once again in that shade of blue I had never seen before.

“I hope they get your eyes. And your eyelashes.”

“What?” Declan says, his hands still on mine.

“The baby. I hope they get your eyes. They are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.” Woah, Olivia. Intense much?

“Thank you” he replies with a shy smile. Wait a minute… Declan Rice getting shy after I have complimented him? Since when? I am the one who starts giggling and feeling her face on fire, not him. “And this is done.”

“What is?”

“The seatbelt, Liv.”

“Oh, yes, yes. Pregnant brain, you know” I say with a stupid laugh. Yeah, making a fool of myself in front of him hasn't changed.

“Is that a thing?”

“Yep.”

“Interesting” he smirks. Now that is the Declan I am used to. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I'm fine.”

“Ok. Then let's go see our baby” he says, letting go of my hand and making me miss his touch. But it doesn't last long, because he moves it to caress my bump, something he would do again a few more times while we are stopped at a red light, the warmest and fuzziest feeling ever filling my chest.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ok, let's check how the little one is today, shall we?” my doctor smiles while I give Declan's hand a little squeeze. I've had to grab it to make him stop fidgeting, he is so nervous…

“Woah, what is that noise?” he asks.

“That's their heartbeat” I tell him.

“Really? Is that normal?”

“It is, don't worry. It means they are very healthy” the doctor explains.

“And I thought mine was beating fast…”

“Welcome to the club” I chuckle. “Are they in the right position today?” In my previous scan it had been impossible to tell if they were a boy or a girl.

“They are yes. Do you want me to tell you now or are you planning a gender reveal?”

“Oh no, I hate those. Declan?”

“Uh?” he says, his eyes still fixed on the screen. He is… Oh my God, he is crying.

“Dec, hey. Are you ok?” I ask him, squeezing his hand again.

“Yeah, yeah, I just… That's my child” he says, quickly wiping away his tears.

“It is, yes” I smile, trying not to cry too.

“Anyway, the gender” he says, composing himself. “Is it possible to know later on our own?”

“Of course” my doctor says. “We'll give you an envelope with the results so you can open it when you are ready.”

“And photos too?”

“Photos too” she smiles.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“So, how do we do it?” Declan asks me once we are back in his car.

“How do we do what?”

“The envelope, Liv” he says. “Do you want to do it here or should we go somewhere special?”

“Actually, now that you mention it… Can we go to that restaurant where you took me when we left the lionesses game? I've been dreaming about the cake we ate for the past weeks.”

“First craving?” he asks, starting the car.

“Oh, no. My first craving was Cadbury chocolate.”

“You are always eating chocolate, Liv” he chuckles. “That isn't new.”

“But now it's gotten worse.”

“How can it be worse than liking literally anything made with chocolate?”

“I have to keep a bar on my bedside table because I wake up hungry in the middle of the night and it is the only thing I want to eat. And it has to be Cadbury chocolate, just that one. One morning I woke up hugging it.”

“What?” Declan laughs.

“Yeah” I shrug. “I think it is because the baby has your sweet tooth.”

“My sweet tooth, Liv? Mine?” he laughs again.

“Yep, yours” I smile. “So if my teeth fall off after eating so much sugar… You are paying for the new ones, you are the millionaire here.”

“Ok” he laughs once again, the rest of our journey to the restaurant filled with more of his loud laugh while I just smile like an idiot. Had I missed that? God knows I had.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Is it as good as you remembered?”

“Better” I say, cake spilling from my mouth. So elegant, Olivia.

“Here, let me help you” Declan chuckles, cleaning my chin with his napkin, his other hand holding my face. I wonder if he can feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer by the second. “Done.”

“Thank you” I whisper.

“So… Should we open the envelope before they kick us out due to you eating all their cake?” he says with a teasing smile.

“Ha ha ha” I reply, rolling my eyes. “But yeah, let's do it. It's in my bag.”

“Ok” he says, taking it and moving his chair next to mine. “Are you ready?”

“Are you?”

“I asked first, Liv.”

“I know. But your hand is the one that's shaking, not mine” I say, holding it like I did during our doctor's appointment.

“Sorry” he smiles. “Anyway, ready?”

“Ready” I smile back.

“And baby Rice is…”

“I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” I laugh, hitting his arm.

“Ouch, Liv!”

“I knew it was going to be a boy! You only have brothers and they only have boys! It's like you only carry the male gene!”

“I actually have a niece too, remember?”

“The exception that confirms my theory.”

“You look quite happy about it” Declan chuckles. “Did you want a boy?”

“I just wanted a healthy baby. But since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I pictured a boy” I shrug.

“With my blue eyes?” he smirks.

“With your blue eyes and hopefully a smaller head.”

“What?” he laughs.

“I know most of it is hair but… Yeah. I don't want something that big coming out of my…”

“Oh my God, Olivia” Declan laughs again.

“Sorry” I shrug. “Anyway, should we ask for more cake in honour of our little boy?”

“Ok. But just one slice, and we'll share it.”

“What?”

“You just said you don't want a big baby, and if you keep eating like this…”

“Idiot” I reply, hitting him again. “But fine, ok. Just one slice.”

“And then we are going for a walk to help with your digestion.”

“Yes, mum” I sigh.

“If I'm being annoying is because I care about you, Liv. Both of you” he says, caressing my bump.

“I know, Declan. I know” I say, smiling like an idiot once again.

#declan rice #declan rice x reader #declan rice fanfic #declan rice imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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football-and-fanfics · 3 months ago

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Sick - Declan Rice

Who: Declan Rice, Mason Mount Prompt: Sick during a training camp or match abroad Requested by: anonymous Word count: 397 Warnings: contains descriptions of being sick

Declan had been fighting a massive headache all day long. The flight to Rome for England's Nations League match of tomorrow surely hadn’t made it any better.

The headache was trying to split his head in two, and sounds and light started to bother him more and more. He was pretty sure this was rapidly turning into a migraine, and all he wanted right now was to get to his room and sleep.

"Come on, roomie." Mason dangled a hotel keycard in front of Declan's face. "Am I sharing with you?" Declan asked. "Yeah." Mason frowned a little in surprise. "The rooming list was read out on the plane." "Ah." Declan shrugged. "I slept most of the way, so I must have missed it. Let's go up to our room."

Declan was glad with his assigned roommate. Mason knew him through and through, probably he had already sensed something was off with Declan, and he surely would not mind if Declan went to bed early.

They took the elevator up to the floor of their room. As they stepped out, Declan stumbled badly. He was shaky and unsteady on his feet by now, and had expected to fall to the ground right then and there. And he would have, too, if Mason had not caught him by the armpits, successfully preventing his friend from crashing to the floor.

"You’re not looking good, mate." Mason looked concerned. "I already thought something was going on. Are you feeling sick?" "I think I’m having a migraine." Declan passed a shaky hand over his face. "I just need to lie down and sleep." "Our room is a little further down the hall. Can you walk?" Mason asked. "Yeah." Declan blew out a deep breath. "I can make that."

Declan slowly walked the distance to their room. Everything hurt his head by now: light, sounds, even his own delicate movements hurt. Mason was beside Declan, ready to catch him if he would topple over again, but Declan managed to stay on his feet. Mason quickly opened the door of their hotel room, allowing Declan to step inside first.

Declan slowly shuffled into their room. He just took the time to change into his nightwear, before dropping himself onto his bed. Mason watched his friend silently. "Tell me if you need anything, alright?" But Declan hadn't heard him. He was already fast asleep.

The tags list has been moved to the comment section. If you would like to be added to the tags list, you can let me know through here.

Writing masterlist | Declan Rice masterlist

#declan rice #declan rice imagine #declan rice blurb #declan rice fanfic #declan rice fanfiction #football imagine #football blurb #football fanfic #football fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer blurb #footballer fanfic #footballer fanfiction

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avenirdelight · 2 years ago

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When You’re Not Looking

Mason Mount (ft. Declan Rice)

Mason has a crush on England's photographer. But he feels like she has become distant, never hangs out with him anymore and never takes his photos. Declan says that there's only one way to find out why. [Requested]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MASON!❤️

Mason heard a snort, and that was what stopped him from doing what he was doing. He’d just done a set on the bench press and was about to do one more. He turned his head around and saw a judging Declan approaching.

“What?” He shot Declan, who had snorted at him, a rather sharp look.

“You’re not gonna give up, are ya, mate? Still trying to get her attention?” Declan mocked. He turned his head towards the basketball court across the gym hall, Mason couldn’t stop himself from doing the same.

She was there with her camera, taking photos of Raheem and Marcus who were having a go at basketball, killing time before they needed to go out on the pitch for training.

“Sorry, but it’s getting embarrassing now,” Declan stated. Mason quickly looked away before Declan could catch him. Mason almost felt embarrassed but he refused to show it and give Declan the satisfaction, so he shook his head instead.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just doing the bench press.”

“You think I won’t notice how you purposely do an extra set that’s completely unnecessary?”

Mason completely ignored his best friend’s question and did what he was going to do: the completely unnecessary extra set of bench press.

“Listen. We don’t know how long this camp is gonna last. It’s not like I’m hoping for us to go out soon, but you know what I mean,” Declan said. Mason could feel Declan boring his eyes into him. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re wasting chances and time. You might not get it again tomorrow.”

Mason might have looked so focused on doing the bench press but he heard everything Declan said. And as much as he wanted to ignore it, he admitted that what his best friend had said was true.

—

They were sitting down at dinner. James and Bukayo had been at the table too, they’d hung out and done some Saka’s Spelling School episodes, something Bukayo had come up with for his TikTok. The two boys had left, leaving the other two who wanted to stay for dessert.

They ate their desserts in silence. Declan was scrolling on his phone, probably reading messages from his family and friends. Mason took the opportunity to secretly glance over and over again at her, who was sitting at the table near the TV. Their tables were separated by a water fountain and plants, so he hoped that she wouldn’t catch him staring at her.

Mason had grown a crush on her—a fairly huge crush, he couldn’t deny it anymore. He forgot how or when it started. She’d been a photographer for the England team for almost a year. At some point he’d just started thinking that she was pretty, fun to be with, and he’d started to pay more attention to her. Some of the boys liked to tease her and joke around with her, and Mason always found it incredibly cute when she became shy or when she let out some cute giggles.

The problem was, lately he’d realised that she’d been strangely distant. She was always taking photos of another group, always at the other side of the room or the pitch, she was never near him. She never came to hang out anymore, at least not when he was there. At first he’d thought that it was just coincidence, but the more he paid attention, the more he was sure that she was avoiding him.

“Do you think I’d done something wrong?” Mason broke the silence. “Do you think she’s mad at me or something? Or maybe she just doesn’t like me.” The second question caught Declan’s attention and he looked up at gloomy-looking Mason.

“Listen, mate. You know I only have one answer and advice, for you, yeah?”

“‘There’s only one way to find out?’”

“Exactly.”

Mason glanced at her again and she was laughing with the other staff. His heart skipped a beat because she looked pretty with that smile on her face.

“Last week I found her alone here, editing some photos. I stopped for a moment and tried to make a conversation. She looked… Uncomfortable. Am I the problem?”

“There’s only one way to find out, Mase.”

Mason sighed and dropped his gaze to his now unappealing dessert, spinning his spoon randomly on the bowl. It seemed like Declan was also tired with indecisiveness, considering that they’d had this kind of conversation a few times before. Declan decided to get back on his phone and leave Mason alone with his troubled thoughts.

Maybe Declan was right again, that there was only one way to find out.

—

Mason decided to wake up early today. He’d seriously been paying attention, so he knew that usually, her breakfast plate would already be empty by the time he arrived at the hotel’s restaurant. He was determined to catch her, maybe have breakfast together, and ask her about the thing that had been bothering his mind.

As he predicted, she was already there, occupying the table in the corner of the room. There was barely anyone there, it definitely seemed like the perfect moment for Mason to execute his plan. He could immediately feel his nervousness building up as he picked up a plate and filled it with his usual choice of breakfast.

When she noticed him approaching her table, Mason could swear she almost choked on the water she was drinking. He greeted her with a cheerful “good morning” and she replied with the same tone.

“Why are you always here so early?”

She gave him a shy grin. “I need uh– My morning solitude. Need to uhh, compose myself first thing in the morning before facing the day.”

“May I sit here? If that doesn’t ruin your morning solitude.”

“No, of course not.” She shook her head. “Take a seat. Please.”

Mason took the empty seat in her diagonal as he figured it would be too awkward if he sat right in front of her. His heart was starting to race, but he reminded himself to keep himself calm. Last night he had made a plan since he absolutely didn’t want to scare her or anything. He’d thought about starting with a question about work.

“So… Busy day today?”

“Not really. Just the usual.”

“I heard Beckham is coming to training today.”

“Ah… Yeah. I think I’m gonna be assigned for him.”

“Have you met him before?”

“No, I haven’t,” she slightly shook her head before continuing to eat. Mason eyed his messy plate and started eating too.

The silence took over sooner than Mason had anticipated. Last time they’d interacted, it wasn’t as awkward. Maybe it was the setting that made it feel this way, the freaking solitude, but Mason knew that he couldn’t let the silence really settle in and make it more awkward so he needed to try to carry on.

“So… Being a photographer for England. Do you enjoy it?”

She slightly raised her eyebrows before nodding. “Yeah, of course. I love photography, I like football… And with England it’s always an amazing experience. I mean, we’re at the World Cup now. It’s insane.”

“Couldn’t agree more. And I feel like this is a very special group of people we’re working with…”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Everyone’s so, uhh…” She looked away quickly. “So nice and lovely.”

Mason’s heart dropped. She didn’t even want to look at him when she said it. Wasn’t he nice and lovely too?

Then there was silence again. There were only sounds of the hotel staff talking, the sounds from the little cooking stations in the room, and their utensils against the plates. It wasn’t going smoothly at all and he really couldn’t stand this awkwardness.

“Hey, may I ask you a question?” Mason said before he couldn’t even stop himself. He paused and silently took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever was coming. She was eating so she just simply nodded and shrugged. “Sorry, I absolutely don’t mean to offend you. I’m just asking because I just want to know– Uhh, I’ve been wondering if I’ve done something wrong. To you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, not getting his statement and question.

“Lately, I’ve realised that… You never take photos of me. And… I don’t know, it just feels like it’s become so awkward and kind of weird between us.”

“What?” Her voice barely came out as a whisper. Her face was blank, Mason couldn’t read her; well, maybe he actually could but he was panicking.

“Well, maybe it’s just me but– It has kind of made me wonder what’s wrong, or like I said, if I’ve done something wrong. We used to hang out, talk, and then we didn’t.” The disappointment was clear in his voice. “You… You’ve become so distant.”

“Have I?”

“That’s how I feel. I mean, we barely interact anymore.”

“And that’s… A problem for you?”

Mason shrugged. “Yeah, kind of…”

She dropped her gaze and took her glass, drinking her water, leaving Mason’s questions unanswered. It had gotten from awkward to super awkward. Mason was starting to regret it and he realised he should’ve just brought up other things. The last win, the weather, the cats, so many things to talk about, but he couldn’t stop himself from jumping on the topic right away.

“Sorry, this must be confusing to you. I didn’t mean to–”

“No, it’s okay, I mean, I’m sorry– I didn’t know you feel that way,” she said. “So, uhh, you’re bothered that we’re not hanging out? May I ask why?”

“‘Cause I like hanging out with you. And it’s always a pleasure when we get to work together. You’re a nice and lovely person,” he said. You could easily tell that he was being sincere.

“Oh…”

They both fell silent again. Mason took a sip of his tea, hoping it would help to calm himself down but unfortunately he only got more and more nervous with each passing second. He had no idea of what she was thinking or what she was going to say. Maybe this was a mistake after all—Mason quickly thought of a way out of this because it started to feel so uncomfortable even for him.

Just when he was about to open his mouth, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Good morning, mate.” It was Madders. The lad then greeted her too—which she quickly replied—before turning to him again. “You’re early today.”

“You are early today.” Madders wasn’t an early morning person to his knowledge. Why would he be here now interrupting such a critical moment?

Madders sighed and shook his head. “Kennedy called, said Leo woke up and spent an hour crying, wouldn’t stop asking for me. So she had to call, and…”

Mason couldn’t hear anything Madders said; it went in one ear and out the other. He glanced at her, who was now paying attention to Madders, but still got hints of shock and confusion in her face. Mason felt his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach.

—

The sombre atmosphere could be felt around the hotel. Once they’d gotten back to the hotel from the stadium after England’s loss to France, they’d all gone straight to their rooms and locked themselves there.

It was a tough loss, a tough exit from the World Cup—it was definitely going to take a while to get over this one. They were supposed to win this all. They were supposed to lift a trophy after failing to do so last year in Euro’s final. It was not supposed to go like this. He was supposed to get more game time, play better, score his world cup goals, make his family even prouder…

Mason started to feel like it was suffocating being in his room, he started to feel like he was trapped since there was only him and his distressing thoughts. So Mason came out of his room and his feet brought him to the basketball court. No one was there, everyone was probably packing up because they were going to leave in the morning.

“It’s very late, Mason, why are you out here?”

The ball had just bounced off the ring and Mason turned around on his heels. She was walking closer, a camera bag hanging on her shoulder.

“I needed some air,” he said as he went to pick up the ball. He dribbled it as he got back to his position, shifting his gaze between the ball and her. “What are you doing?”

“Just picked this up from Paul’s room,” she said, patting her camera bag.

“You guys must have loads to pack.” Mason turned around and took another shot. The ball hit the ring again before it bounced loudly on the ground.

“Yeah… But we’ve been pretty organised, so it’s not hard to pack everything up again.” She walked closer to the wall and Mason noticed her putting her camera bag down as she stood against the wall. She tightened her jacket around her as the chilly breeze blew. “Although we believe we’ve lost a GoPro. Paul’s misplaced it. Thank God he’d removed the memory card.”

“Yeah?” Mason slightly raised his eyebrows at her before quickly looking away. He took another shot and it didn’t go in again. He shook his head, lazily picked up the ball, and just dribbled it aimlessly. He’d been missing all the shots, he didn’t want to embarrass himself even more in front of her.

She’d fallen silent and Mason didn’t dare to look up because he could feel her eyes boring at him. He might find a look of disappointment on her face, or worse, pity—he absolutely didn’t want that. He was feeling like such a big failure already; knowing that he’d failed people he cared about would only make him feel worse.

“Hey, Mase?” She said, but Mason didn’t respond. He did a layup instead; it finally went in. “I know you’re upset but… Don’t get upset for too long, okay?” Her voice sounded so soft. So gentle. “We’re all gutted but you guys have to be proud. You guys put up a good fight, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Mason let out a heavy sigh as he shook his head, still dribbling. “We kept saying that this is gonna be our time, you know? It honestly felt like it. And I just wished that I could help the team a bit more.”

“Our time will come. Your time will come,” she said, and Mason could tell that she was smiling when she said it. “You still have a long way ahead. And this special squad is only gonna go far, I know it.” She sounded so reassuring, Mason couldn’t help but to look up at her. There was no sign of disappointment or pity on her face; he could only see her subtle smile and kind eyes.

“Thank you,” Mason muttered, offering her his best smile. She nodded and her smile grew bigger. Mason wished he could tell her how pretty her smile looked, or how warm his heart felt right now.

This was their least awkward interaction after what felt like such a long time, quite the opposite from their last. She looked rather relaxed too. Mason was curious more than ever about what had actually happened, why she’d become distant and all that. He’d thought about asking her again but this was a nice moment they were sharing and he didn’t want to ruin it. Maybe he should just forget about everything, he shouldn’t have made it a big deal, maybe she’d been just—

“I do take photos of you, Mason,” she said.. “Just when you’re not looking.”

Mason was about to do another layup. But he stopped on his tracks, he almost stumbled on his own feet. He quickly turned and searched for her face.

“What?”

The chilly breeze blew again and she folded her arms. “Last time you asked why I never take photos of you,” she tried to remind him, even though there was absolutely no need for that because Mason obviously remembered. “Well, I do actually take your photos. Just when you’re not looking and… From far away.”

Mason gulped. “Why?”

“Because I’m just shy and embarrassed? Okay– This will sound so silly,” she chortled. “But you’re my football crush. I’ve been a fan since you made your first England debut. And it’s just weird for me to suddenly… Work with you. It still feels weird even after almost a year.”

Mason gripped the ball on his hands; the tips of his fingers almost turned white. He clenched his jaw as he tried to process her words, his heart started pounding hard in his chest. “So… You have a crush on me?”

She scrunched up her face cutely. “Do you really have to say it out loud? God, it feels so… Embarrassing.”

Mason chuckled. “I’m just trying to get confirmation here.”

She sighed. “I have a Chelsea shirt with your number and name, how about that?”

Mason his stomach flipping and he couldn’t help but to chuckle again out of relief and nervousness. An image flashed on his mind, of her wearing his club shirt with his name on it, and it made his heart flutter.

“Okay, okay,” he said as he approached her, with a huge silly smile on his face. “That’s wonderful, that’s… Wow. It’s actually very good to know that.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I mean, you must have noticed that I’ve been trying to get your attention, then? Throughout the whole camp?”

She shrugged. A blush was visible on her cheeks. “Of course I do. I’m a girl, a quite sensible one, I always know what’s happening.”

Mason shook his head in disbelief. He threw the ball away and took a few more small steps towards her. “For weeks I’d been thinking that I'd done something wrong.”

“Sorry for making you worry, I really didn’t mean too…”

“Yeah. And it turns out you knew all along that I fancy you.”

Her eyes widened. “You fancy me?”

“You literally just said you’re quite a sensible one.” Mason furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would I try so hard to get your attention if I didn’t. Do you fancy me? Am I a real crush or just a football crush?”

She pursed her lips as she stared at him for a while. Mason was honestly stunned because he’d never seen her looking at him like this before. She was admiring him, taking her time to take him in.

“A real one,” she finally said, her voice just above a whisper.

Mason was washed with the biggest wave of relief—he let out a long sigh, letting out everything he’d been holding in. He’d actually forgotten that he’d been upset because of their loss tonight. This surely mended his broken heart a little and made everything feel less down.

“Well, okay. This is nice,” he commented. He didn’t take his eyes off her. He couldn’t. “Did you know I always use all my chances to look at you? When you’re not looking.”

“I guess I did.” She shrugged. Mason grinned and she giggled.

“Hey, do you know what?” His eyes lit up, sparking a curiosity on her and it was shown by the way her eyebrows lifted up. Mason quickly got the ball that had rolled away. “I’ll do a shot and if it goes in, I get to take you on a date.”

“What if it doesn’t go in?”

“It will, I promise.”

“Go on, then.”

Mason got in position and dribbled the ball. It was at that moment that he realised that his hands were slightly trembling and this was probably stupid, but he didn’t care. She was finally looking at him from up close—he still wanted to impress her. More than ever.

After taking a deep breath and wished for the best, he confidently threw the ball in.

—

i thank you so much if you reach this point because this is a loooooong one! it took me a month to finish this one:') i kept getting stuck but today i suddenly got inspired and was able to finish it! i hope you enjoyed it! reblogs, likes, and comments are always very appreciated!<3

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