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judecole · 2 years

Text

Holy Mary

pairings: jeno x reader

genre: romance, summer romance, churchboy!jeno (kind of), pining, fluff, angst

tw: sexual content, mentions of depression, religious trauma

word count: 13.5k

synopsis: you spend every summer at your grandparents lake side home in France. Most of the time you spend in the lake, painting or reading. The village is slow and life feels very relaxed. When a new priest turns up at the local church, your grandmother manages to convince you to attend a service which ends in you becoming infatuated with one of the priests sons, Lee Jeno. Jeno is a reserved man, he likes calm and quiet. His past trauma has effected his ability to maintain friendships and relationships. But when he meets you, he feels at home.

authors notes: this was inspired by Mary on a cross by Ghost! i also like to project my daddy issues and religious trauma onto people so enjoy! also! the south of france *chefs kiss* beautiful place, i want to go back so badly! and i recently learnt that catholic priests can remain married if they’re married before becoming ordained so that’s cool ig, it kinda inspired this story a little bit. ALSO! i would just like to clarify that this is just a story and i don’t share any of the opinions of the characters in the story. nor do i think jeno has any of these opinions. ITS JUST A STORY <3 also i can’t write smut to save my life but here u go

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

Most of your summers were spent by the lakes, at your grandparents lake house in France. The effervescent water sparkled under the sun, little ripples forming when the wind gently blew. The lakes had always fascinated you. You weren’t sure if it was the calmness being near water brought you or the memories of splashing around in them when you were a child, but you always felt very close to them.

You spent most of your summers painting too, mostly by the lake. Your grandmother tried to encourage you to sell your paintings, claiming that they ‘conveyed so much passion and emotion.’ You didn’t agree, you just wanted to paint. Today was no different, you sat by the lake and sketched out the lay of the land, preparing for your next painting. You watched your brothers splash around in the water with some other boys from the village. You could see the pure joy in their faces and made a mental note to try and capture that in your painting.

It wasn’t long before the midday sun became unbearable. You could feel it scorching your skin despite the thick layers of SPF your grandmother had lathered you and your siblings in. You decided it was probably best for you to go in for a while and get out of the sun. Your brothers were probably hungry too, with it being midday. You shouted over to them, both their heads turning as you beckoned them over and told them it was time to go in for some lunch. You began to collect all your belongings and head up to the house.

“There’s a new priest starting at the church this Sunday. I’d like it if you came this week, it would make a good first impression.” Your grandmother spoke up as you helped her set the table. You glanced over at the lake as you placed another fork down. “Really?” You mumbled, not really listening. “Yes, it would be good for you to get back in touch with your religion. Your mother tells me you don’t attend church back at home either.” Your grandparents were very religious, and they expected the same from their grandchildren. The reference to home made you feel sad for a moment. Although you loved coming to the lakes to see your grandparents, you missed your home. Your grandparents had moved to the south of France from Denmark when you were very young. You missed them dearly but they wanted a change and to have a much more relaxed and laid back life. Southern France did make for good vacations however.

“Oliver and Kaspar have been attending. They’ve been enjoying it, there’s lots of other young people there too. It’s be a good chance to make some friends for the summer.” Your grandfather had made an appearance at the table, your brothers following behind him. “I’ll think about it.” You said as you headed back inside to get the rest of the food. You could imagine your grandparents both shaking their heads. Religion had always been a touchy subject for you. You’d grown up being taught Catholicism and attended church every week with your parents back in Denmark. When you reached your teenage years, things began to change. You had many questions about religion and why things were so rigid. It made you uncomfortable. You stopped attending a short while after your thirteenth birthday.

There were some things that never changed however. You still wore your crucifix around your neck, it was a gift from your father at your first Holy communion. You found you could never take it off even if you wanted to. It felt as if it was welded into your skin and you felt bare without it. It was probably because it was from your father that you didn’t want to take it off. Your father had suffered with debilitating depression since you were ten after the loss of his brother. It had become hard for your mother to take care of you and your brothers. It was then that the yearly tradition of vacationing in France began. You and your brothers were shipped off to your grandparents every summer for 3 months so your mother could have a break from it all. You never really minded, you enjoyed being by the lakes.

Your grandparents house looked over the largest lake in the village. It was surrounded with beautiful native pine trees and small villas that blended in with the scenery seamlessly. After your meal you helped your siblings clear up and wash the dishes, still watching over the lake as you did so. You wanted to go back out there and continue your painting but the blazing sun said otherwise. You decided to take a nap instead and enjoy your break.

You found yourself attending church that Sunday. Your grandparents had finally worn you down, insisting that it would make you feel better and you’d make some friends. That it would even help you with your art work. You were exhausted of their constant nagging so in the end you just gave in. You were curious too, as to who this new priest was and why he was so special. Your grandmother had been talking about him non stop all week. How he’d come over from South Korea and he could apparently speak seven languages, including French of course.

When you arrived at the church that morning the sun had already began to beat down on you. You could feel the sweat dripping from your hair and down your neck. It didn’t help that you were already desperately uncomfortable walking into a place that made you feel like an outsider. Like you were a freak for thinking differently to everyone else inside, even though their rules were so rigid and based on a book written so long ago. However you were now sat on a pew, sandwiched between your older brother Kaspar and your grandmother. You couldn’t see much from where you were sitting, other than a large statue of the Virgin Mary that almost touched the ceiling at the front of the church. You couldn’t help think she looked sad. You wondered how long she’d stood there at the bow of the church. How many services she’d sat through and what she thought of them. Your attention was snatched from her when your grandmother touched your leg and indicated that the new priest had started his service.

The priest was tall, handsome and well spoken. He spoke mostly in French which you struggled to understand but sometimes switched to English. The service felt as if it went on forever. You were so hot and sweaty as the end neared, you couldn’t wait to get out and breath some fresh air. Many people got up to go and meet the new priest at the end of the service, your grandparents were included in that group. They waited in line for their turn to meet this, person. That’s all he was. You wondered why they were so excited. Your grandparents dragged you up too, along with your brothers and as you neared the front you noticed two equally as tall and handsome men stood next to him. They were younger, and you thought they may be his sons. You could feel yourself getting hotter and hotter as you moved closer. The one you deemed to be the youngest had the coldest and most attractive face you’d ever seen. Your face flushed red as you got closer.

“Thank you so much for coming.” The priest spoke as you got to the front. He shook your grandparents and brothers hands before getting to you. You were still so dazed by his son that you didn’t realise the priests hand stretched out to shake yours. Your grandmother nudged you and you quickly shook his hand. “These are my sons, Donghae,” he pointed to the oldest one, “and Jeno.” You could feel your throat close up as Jeno looked you up and down. A small smirk adorning his lips. Your grandfather finished the conversation and you were on your way again. Jeno’s face had become engrained in your mind. He was all you could think about on the drive back to the house and all you could think about when you went to bed that night.

When the following Sunday rolled around, you were the first one out of bed and ready to go. Your grandmother was surprised but extremely happy, thinking that you’d reconnected with your faith. But in reality you just wanted to see Jeno again. To look at his breathtaking face. You sat closer to the front on this day, making sure you could get a glimpse of the intimidating get enticing boy. You could feel yourself turning red when he turned around. You could feel his cold eyes burning deep into your soul. Maybe this was religion, you thought. Maybe he was God.

When the service ended, Jeno was the first one standing up, ready to leave. You quickly stood up too, racing out the pews to try and talk to him. Maybe to ask if he needs any help adjusting to the village. You did only live ten minutes from the church and you were always around if he needed anything. Your heart was crushed however when several other young girls surrounded him, trying to get his attention. Disheartened, you followed your family out of the church. Kaspar, your older brother had immediately realised what you wanted to do when you stood up. He knew last week from the way you looked at Jeno that you were interested in him. On your way out of the church he nudged you, “You like him, hey?” He teased, “What? No, he’s probably really conservative. He’s a priests son.” You nudged him back. You had experience with boys back home, you’d even briefly had a boyfriend. You never shied away from male attention, in fact, you welcomed it. You did well with the boys back in your home town and got bored here in France where there was barely any boys your age, and if there were, none of them interested you. This is probably why Jeno excited you so much. He was the first attractive boy you’d seen here in France.

“Really? Your face turned into a tomato as soon as he looked at you, tomat ansigt.” You shuddered at the nickname. Your mother had given it to you as a child when your face would turn as red as a tomato whenever you were embarrassed. “Don’t call me that mærkelig dreng.” You hit his shoulder earning a harsh glance from your grandmother as you got back into the car.

“I need some things from the market. Could you take Oliver down there and get everything on this list please?” Your grandmother asked you as she wondered into the living room where you sat on the old worn out leather couch, reading your book. She handed you the list as you reached your arm out. “Why do we need all this stuff?” You we’re inquisitive as to why there were so many items on the list, and good stuff too, like cake and ice cream. “Father Lee, the priest is coming tonight for dinner. Monsieur Clement and his wife and daughters and coming too. Make sure you get everything on the list please.” She widened her eyes as she emphasised. You called for Oliver and headed out to the market.

“I hate Monsieur Clement, he just talks about himself all the time.” Oliver whined as you headed into the grocery shop to finish your shopping. “I know Oli. Mormor said that his daughters are coming too. Maybe they’ll be your age.” He shrugged at your comment and picked up the next thing on your list. You doubted that though, Monsieur Clement was a retired business man in his early sixties. He had a substantial amount of money from what you could tell and he’d been living next to your grandparents for the past three years. You’d never met his daughters but part of you doubted that they’d be Oliver’s age. Probably more like yourself and Kaspar’s age, in their early twenties.

Your parents had had yourself and Kaspar when they were young and Oliver was a surprise slightly later in life. You and Kaspar had been so excited to have a little brother and you both absolutely adore him and constantly dote over him. Especially now with your dad practically out of the picture and your mother focused on caring for him and working too, you and Kaspar tried your hardest to make Oliver’s childhood a good one. Oliver was now eleven, you twenty and Kaspar twenty three but things hadn’t changed much from when you were young. You were a very close knit trio.

Your mind wondered back to the list and to the dinner, you were too focused on the fact that Monsieur Clement was attending to remember the fact that Father Lee, Jeno’s father may was attending too. You wondered if Jeno and his brother would be coming. You hoped they were. Maybe you’d finally get to talk to him. You and Oliver had finished up your shopping and began your walk home. It was sweltering outside. You’d gotten used to the cold air in the grocery shop and stepping outside felt like stepping into a furnace. Your eyes stopped on 2 figures outside the local Café. You recognised them to be Jeno and his brother. You watched them for a second. Jeno had a cigarette in one hand and his coffee in the other. Maybe he’s not so conservative if he smokes, you thought. Or maybe not, you don’t know him. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Oliver shouts your name. He’s already half way down the street, waiting for you. Jeno and Donghae look up to see what the shouting is about and notice you. It’s quite obvious that you were looking at them from your position and stance. You flush red when you see that Jeno is staring at you, his face still cold and stern. You spin on your feet in embarrassment and quickly follow Oliver back home.

“Are Father Lee’s sons coming tonight?” Kaspar asks your grandmother whilst helping her with the cooking. You’re sitting on a chair in the kitchen, peeling some vegetables. You look up to see Kaspar smirking at you. “You hope so, don’t you.” He carries on, pointing at you. You roll your eyes when your grandmother looks at you and shakes her head. Your grandmother doesn’t answer but you realise they probably are when there are quite a few places set at the table.

When your guests finally arrive you notice the absence of the one person you really wanted to see. Kaspar notices your dissatisfaction and pats you on the back. “Don’t worry, Father Lee said he’d be here soon. He’s just finishing up something at home.” You breathed a sigh of relief but were annoyed at your brother for noticing and reading your facial expressions so easily. Monsieur Clement’s daughters were like goddesses. They were a similar age to Kaspar and yourself much to Oliver’s dismay. Kaspar wasn’t wasting time introducing himself however. You rolled your eyes at him and poked him in the side every time he faked a laugh at something one of the daughters said or when he over exaggerated something that happened to him as a child for effect.

You were still waiting for Jeno when you’d finished eating. Your grandmother was about to bring out dessert and you were helping her tidy the table. Whilst in the kitchen you heard a commotion outside and realised Jeno had turned up. His father seemed very pleased to see him, maybe thinking he wouldn’t turn up at all. You rushed into the bathroom and tidied up your appearance, brushing your hair off of your face and smoothing out your dress before stepping outside to greet Jeno. Monsieur Clement’s daughters had wasted no time in introducing themselves, clearly flirting with him. Jeno was very gracious in the way he spoke to them, soaking up their stupid comments. You took a seat next to Kaspar when your grandmother bought the dessert out. You stayed pretty quiet whilst the others chatted amongst themselves. “Jeno I realised I never introduced my grandchildren to you. This is Kaspar, my eldest grandson. My only and very beautiful granddaughter, and my youngest grandson.” Your grandmother pointed you all out as she spoke. Jeno looked at you up and down like he did in the church. It made your heart flutter. “What do you all do?” Father Lee asked. “I’ve just finished up university back in Denmark, I studied architecture.” Kaspar spoke, Father Lee nodded his head impressed. “What about you two?” You stayed silent for a second hoping Oliver would speak, Jeno didn’t take his eyes off you for a second making you feel desperately awkward. But Oliver didn’t speak, probably not knowing what to say in front of all these people. “I’m studying fine art at university. In my second year.” You managed to squeeze out. “Wow, are you enjoying it? I’d love to see some of your work.” Father Lee sounded surprised. “I’ve been painting lots over the summer, I have a few paintings inside.” You managed to string a proper sentence together as if you weren’t melting under the stare of the priests youngest son. “She’s really very good Father. I too have an interest in paintings,” Monsieur Clement started as if he has any idea about your painting ability but you realised it was just an opportunity for him to speak about himself. You were glad though.

The sun began to set and everyone was getting ready to leave. You watched as Jeno helped clear the table and your grandmother insisted he sit down and she was absolutely fine. You leaned over the railings of the balcony that looked over the lake. You didn’t realise Jeno approaching you. “It’s really very beautiful here. I didn’t realise it would be when my father told me about it.” You felt your soul leave your body. He was talking to you. You needed to say something. “It is. I love it here.” You just about managed to say. “I’d love to see some of your paintings if you’d let me. I’d assume this is a great place to get inspiration.” You tucked your hair behind your ear. He actually wanted to see your paintings. God, help. “There’s a couple upstairs, I’ll bring them down if you want. They’re not very good, they were only quick ones.” You nervously spoke. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

He followed you into the house, waiting in the living room, not wanting to follow you into your room. “They’re just of the lakes.” You bought down two. Those two were your grandmothers favourites. “These are really amazing. You’re so talented. I could only dream of being able to paint like this. Have you ever considered selling your work?” He sounded to passionate as he spoke, he was genuinely impressed with your skills. “My grandma keeps telling me too but I’m not sure.” You sit next to him as he holds one of the paintings, still looking at it in depth. “You should. You’re really good.” He places it down on the coffee table as his father peeks his head around the door. “Time to go Jen.” Jeno stands up and follows his father, not before stopping and turning around to look at you again. “It was really nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?” He asks, “Yeah of course. It’s a small village.” You giggle awkwardly. He gives you a small wave before disappearing with his dad.

It was a while before you saw Jeno again. He hadn’t attended his fathers services for the past couple of weeks and you couldn’t help but wonder where he’d gone. You’d even bumped into Donghae whilst at the Saturday market in the village. “Is Jeno okay? I haven’t seen him around much.” You couldn’t help but ask. His brother gave a small smile before replying, “He’s okay. Just doesn’t cope well in the heat. I’ll tell him you asked after him.” You felt like it wasn’t true but didn’t probe this man you didn’t really know for any more answers.

It was another scorching afternoon by the lake when you saw Jeno again. He was swimming in the lake with his brother, talking to your brothers as they swam too. When he noticed you he put up a hand and waved, you smiled back and waved too. After a while, Jeno came out of the lake and headed towards you, grabbing a towel from where he and his brother had left their belongings. “It’s beautiful.” He said when he reached you, gesturing to your painting. “Thanks, I’m nowhere near finished though.” You continued on and he took a seat on a rock next to you. You tried your best to concentrate on your work but the way the water droplets slid down his muscular shoulders had you extremely distracted. “What do you like about it here?” He suddenly asked, surprising you. “What isn’t there to like? It’s beautiful and quiet.” You found yourself looking directly at him now, watching the way his muscles flexed as he turned around to face you. “You don’t find it boring at all?” He squints his eyes in the sun. You shrug, “Not really. It’s quite different to home so it’s nice to escape.” You thought back to your home in Copenhagen. The busyness sort of made you cringe. You loved home but it was nice to get away from the bustling streets, especially in summer.

“What’s home like? I’ve never been to Denmark.” You wondered why he was talking to you, not that you weren’t grateful, this God like being was actually paying you attention so there wasn’t much to complain about. “I love Copenhagen. But it sometimes feels depressing,” You thought about your dad, “It’s really very beautiful though. You should visit sometime.” He nodded. “What about you? I’ve never been to South Korea either.” His eyes lit up when you mentioned his home country. “I desperately miss it. I like busy. I like loud and bright. For me, it feels like an escape. I can be myself there. Being stuck with my dad and brother and not knowing anyone, or the language. It’s hard.” He looked down, playing with a stone at his feet. “I get that. My french isn’t great.” He smiled up at you after you said that and then you both fell silent for a while. He watched as his brother and your brothers played in the water. Something about the water made everyone turn into a child again. That was one of the things you loved about it. You took this opportunity to get a better look at his body. He must work out, you thought. His body looked as if it was calved by angels. So sharp, yet soft. His beautiful tan skin still bestrewn with little water droplets glistening in the sun.

“Are you going in today?” He asked, gesturing to the lake. “I might do later. I want to get this painting finished soon.” You went back to your painting, pretending that that was what you were doing the whole time. “Come in now. It’ll be fun.” He stood up and began walking back into the lake, before turning round again. You assumed he was waiting for you. Not much could get you to stop getting in the lake on a normal day. Especially if there was a very beautiful man trying to get you to go in. When you got up you noticed the way Jeno checked you out. His eyes shuffling up and down your body, his tongue poking out the side of his lips. You followed him into the lake and you both swam towards your brothers.

“Hun er med!” Kaspar cheered. “Jeg er kold, jeg vil snart ud.” Oliver whined as he swam over to you, holding onto your shoulders. “Why are you speaking Danish?” It was unusual for your you and your siblings to speak in Danish when you where in France. You weren’t sure why, it had just always been that way. “Donghae wants to learn some Danish so we’re only speaking in Danish now.” Oliver swam past you, “og hvordan kan du være kold? Det er så varmt.” Oliver shrugged before splashing you with the water, you squealed, not ready for the water to touch your neck yet. Jeno hadn’t thought Danish could sound so beautiful until it came out of your mouth. He smiled at you as Oliver continued to splash the water at you, you splashed him back and before you knew it your grandmother was calling you from the house for dinner.

“Are you boys staying for dinner? We’d love to have you.” Your grandfather asked as you all walked onto the deck, soaking wet. “We wouldn’t want to impose.” Donghae spoke, he was very well spoken, like his father. “Nonsense! Stay!” Your grandmother said as she bought a serving dish of food out. “Thank you very much. This is too kind.” Jeno said as he took a seat, next to you. You smiled at him as you grabbed him a plate. “Don’t be silly. It’s nice to have you here for dinner again.” You said. He gave you a very warm smile back, before thanking you for the plate.

You enjoyed dinner. It was nice to get to talk to Jeno more. You learnt that Jeno was very popular at school, and he played soccer. You could guess that he was popular. He probably had girls dropping to their knees for him on a daily basis. Jeno now studied law at a prestigious university in Seoul and was very hard working, according to his brother. You could tell Donghae was extremely proud of Jeno. It was heartwarming. You also learnt that Jeno had three cats at home and that he missed them very much. You mention to him that there’s many strays here in France and that if he left food for them, they’d probably never leave him alone. He liked the idea of that. Despite being allergic to cats, which made everyone at the table laugh.

When dinner was done, both Jeno and Donghae stayed to help tidy up. Your grandmother was very impressed with their manners and said she would make sure to tell their father how respectful they were. You could see Jeno’s face scrunch up at the mention of his father. You wondered what it was about him that made Jeno do that. After cleaning up, Jeno and Donghae left and walked home to the cottage attached to the church. Not before thanking your grandparents profusely for the meal and for welcoming them into their home again. You really liked how polite they were to your grandparents. It made you a hundred times more attracted to Jeno.

Jeno had invited you to the lake this time. You couldn’t help but feel sick with excitement that he wanted to go swimming with you. He’d knocked on the door that evening desperate to see you. For some reason he couldn’t get you out of his head and he just wanted to be near you. You made him feel something he hadn’t felt before. Especially since arriving in France. “Nice bikini.” He said as you walked down to the lake together, your hands brushing past his every so often, making electricity spark through your nervous system. “Thanks.” You smiled up at him. He was referring to your old mismatched bikini you had pulled out of your bottom draw as quickly as you could when he came round. Your other much nicer ones were in the wash. You piled your towels on the shore and both walked in to the lake together. “This is nice.” You mumbled as you got deep enough to swim. The sun was setting over the two of you, making him look even more ethereal. He thought the same about you too. Your pretty little face lit up when he mentioned the cats again. He’d tried to feed them but none of them let him stroke them. “It’s okay there’s loads of friendly ones that come to my house in the evening. We’ll probably see them when we go back. Mormor likes to make sure they’ve had a good dinner.”

After he asked what a Mormor was you explained some more Danish words to him. He just liked to hear you talk, especially in your mother tongue. You asked him to teach you some Korean. He immediately taught you the swear words of course, making you gently slap his shoulder after he got you to say them without knowing what they meant. He liked the way your hands felt on his skin. They were so soft and kind. The sun had finally set over the two of you, bringing darkness. The lake at night was probably your favourite. You didn’t ever really get the opportunity to go in it at night as your brothers were usually too tired or playing games. Jeno loved the way your face caught the light from the moon. He thought you were more beautiful than ever. He really wanted to kiss you right now.

“Do you like going to church?” You suddenly ask him, making him snap out of his daze. “No, not really. I feel I’m obliged to because of my dad though.” You nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Me neither. My family are pretty religious. I never used to go but I was forced to when there was a new priest,” you referenced his dad, making his face scrunch up again, “But I wanted to go after I saw you there. Your face made it more bearable.” You giggled, his face lit up. “Really?” He moved closer towards you and you placed a hand at the back of his neck. “Yeah, you’re not bad looking you know.” You said softly, placing your other arm behind his neck and finally securing both your arms around him. He felt like he was in heaven. As did you.

“I’m surprised to see you wear a cross then.” He looked down at your necklace. “My dad gave it to me. It feels weird to take it off.” You said, sadness laced through your voice. He didn’t ask about your dad, it was probably a sore subject, he decided. “I wouldn’t even call myself religious at all. I never understood it, never liked it.” Jeno suddenly said, boldly. “Me too! It feels wrong to me.” Jeno nodded at your comment. He felt close to you at that moment. He’d never been able to share his thoughts on his so called religion with anyone else. He was scared they would judge him. He was glad he could confide in you. After all, you were pretty much his only friend in this quiet little village. “What do you think made you feel like that? For me, it was when my church back home in Denmark was preaching about how being gay was wrong, and how you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. It doesn’t make sense. It’s so wrong.” Your arms were still wrapped around Jeno’s neck securely. He’d never felt so safe with anyone else to talk about this sort of thing before so he used it as an opportunity to get some things off his chest.

“The church my dad used to run, back in Korea. It was filled with people who believe those things. And to hear my dad talk about them too. It made me feel ill. I have friends back home that were, in my dads words, sinners. He didn’t like me hanging out with them because they believed differently to him. I’m an adult I should be able to do what I want, see whoever I want. But he didn’t see it like that. That’s why we’re here. He wanted my brother an I to get away from the sins in our home town and start fresh. He was hoping we’d suddenly turn to Christ and be born again.” Jeno looked down at the thin strip of water between the two of you. “I’ll never forgive him for taking me away from everything I know. This place, it’s beautiful don’t get me wrong. But it’s not for me. It’s too slow.” You pulled yourself closer to him, your lips close, to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry. That sounds really shitty. I promise it’s not that bad here. We’ll go into the market if you want. Try and do some less boring things.” You proposed, “It’s not boring here with you.” He said, looking back into your eyes. The distance between your lips was minute. He wanted to badly to kiss you then and there as did you. “We could do this everyday if you wanted.” You whispered, “I’d like that.” And with that he pressed his lips to yours.

“What’s going on with you and Jeno? You were awfully pleased with yourself last night.” Kaspar asks as he walks into your room, disturbing your peace. “We’re just friends. It’s nice to hang out with someone other than your brothers you know.” You throw your book at him and stand up. You wondered what Jeno was doing right now. “Touché.” Kaspar said as he walked out. “Oh and Jeno is here by the way, thought I should let you know.” He poked his head round the door and grinned. You quickly ran downstairs behind him. “Hey! What are you doing here?” You asked intuitively. “Just thought I’d take you up on that offer of going to the market.” He shrugged. “Of course! Let me grab my bag.” You rushed back upstairs to grab your bag, fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and headed back down.

“So how have you been?” He asks shyly. “You don’t have to be awkward with me just because we kissed.” You roll your eyes playfully at him before pushing him out the door. “Noted.” He grabbed your hand as you walked into the village. You looked down at your hands every so often as you passed different cottages and villas, fields full of lavender and smiled as Jeno squeezed your hands tighter. Even though you’d only known each other a few weeks, only spoken to each other a handful of times, it all felt right. “Hey can we go in here?” Jeno snapped you out of your thoughts and pointed towards a vintage store that seemed in the middle of nowhere, only surrounded by a few houses. “Sure, why not?”

The store was vintage alright. It definitely hadn’t been updated since the fifties. Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust. Your eyes were drawn to the back section of the store, it had various different sunglasses and hats. You tried on a pair of sunglasses and turned to Jeno, “What do you think? Sexy?” They were large, pink heart shaped glasses that made you look ridiculous. “Oh definitely.” Jeno smirked, “you want them?” He asked, stepping towards you and pushing them down your nose slightly. You slowly leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “Of course, they make me look super sexy!” Jeno smiled and placed another kiss on your cheek, making you blush a deep shade of red of course.

You and Jeno tried on more wacky sunglasses before you noticed the shop keeper beginning to become annoyed with you both. “I think we should probably go.” Jeno gritted his teeth awkwardly as you headed towards the front of the shop. You placed the heart shaped sunglasses on the front desk and began to look through your back for your purse, but before you could, Jeno whipped out his wallet and placed a bill on the counter. “Don’t be silly, let me pay.” You tried to give the bill back to him as the shop owner rolled her eyes. “No. Let me get them.” The lady took the bill and you two headed out the store, with your sunglasses on.

You walked past the church on your way to the market. You could feel Jeno stiffen up at the sight of it. You gave his hand a squeeze and smiled up at him. “There’s another vintage store in town. Actually there’s only 3 stores, ones a vintage store and the other two are grocery stores.” You grinned up at him, knowing he probably would find it boring. He didn’t though, he just loved being with you.

After your wild shopping experience, you and Jeno found yourself sitting outside the village café, the one you had seen Jeno and his brother sitting at a few weeks prior. “I’ve had a really great time with you. Thanks for showing me the village.” Jeno reached over the table to grab your hands. “I know it’s probably been boring for you but I did try.” He held your hands slightly tighter, “I had a lovely time. I like spending time with you. And I like kissing you.” Your face broke out into a grin at the last sentence. “I like kissing you too.” You leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips. You did really like kissing him.

That evening Jeno had stayed for dinner again. You got the sense that he didn’t really have family dinners so it probably felt comforting to have them. You could relate to that. Your ‘family dinners’ at home were usually you sitting in your room working on a painting whilst picking at some cheese and crackers. They weren’t exactly dinners at all. Your mother didn’t really cook, she was always quite busy with work. And your dad, well, he had barely left the house in ten years and couldn’t really move from his bed or the couch so dinner wasn’t really a thing. Let alone a family dinner. That was probably part of the reason you loved being with your grandparents so much. They loved taking care of you all and making extravagant meals, making sure you had everything you needed. Your grandfather would always drive into the nearest town with you to get more painting supplies if you needed them and your grandmother would sew up a hole on your clothes if you needed. It felt very homely and comfortable.

“What were you two up to today then?” Your grandfather asked you and Jeno. “We walked into the village and went into some vintage shop. I got these sunglasses.” You flicked the sunglasses from your head to your nose. “I was wondering about those.” He chuckled and went back to his meal. “Kaspar took me to the lake on the other side of the village today and there was some other boys there and we jumped off the jetty into the lake a thousand times. It was really fun.” Oliver smiled as you leaned over to pinch his cheek. “I’m glad you had fun Oli.” He hummed a yes and put another mouthful of salad into his mouth.

“Jeno I’ve been meaning to ask, I’ve been wanting to set up a baking group for the other elderly people in the village and was wondering if we could use the church hall to host it.” Your grandmother asked as she placed her final dish on the table and sat down. Jeno shifted in his seat, “Uh yeah, you’d have to ask him but I’m sure it would be okay.” You placed a hand over his under the table and gave it a squeeze before you changed the subject. “Mormor this salad is amazing. Did you grow these tomatoes?”

Your room was quite simple but your grandparents had allowed you to decorate it however you wanted. You had some fairy lights wrapped around the bedroom and your grandfather had helped you put up some of your favourite art work on your walls. Jeno liked your room, it felt very much like you. It was the first time he’d been in it. He noticed a shelf full of books and a floral piggy bank with a note on top, ‘For London’ it said. He smiled and sat down on your bed next to you. “So what did you want to do?” Jeno could barely finish his sentence before you grabbed his face and kissed him. He leaned into the kiss and bought his hands to your waist. You pulled away for a second before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down on the bed to lay beside you. He nuzzled his head into your neck and placed a few soft kisses on it. “You’re pretty.” He finally broke the silence after you’d both laid there for a while. It was dark outside and you’d spent the whole day in the lake again. Jeno was starting to see why you loved the lake so much. “You’re pretty too.” You smiled down at him and placed a kiss on his head.

“If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” You randomly asked, “Where did that come from?” He asked, stroking your leg. “But since you asked, I’d go to this small little village in the south of France, and I’d be laying in bed with a very pretty girl whilst she asks me random questions.” You grinned at his answer, “You wouldn’t go home?” You asked, unsure of what his answer would be. He knew you were referencing his home in Seoul when you asked this. “Hm, I do miss my home but right now I’m enjoying laying with you.” You ran your fingers down his back sending shivers down his spine. He loved the feeling he got when you touched him.

“Do you believe in God?” You shot another random question at him. He didn’t know how to answer this one because he genuinely didn’t know the answer. “I don’t know, do you?” He asked. You pondered for a while before saying, “I think so. It’s probably because I’m scared to believe otherwise. I would like to believe that there’s a heaven and that there’s someone there looking out for you. Even if His previous decisions were questionable.” He hummed in agreement. “When did your dad become a priest?” He shuffled to get more comfortable, “Not very long ago, maybe ten years? He divorced my mother to become one. It was a strange time. It’s not usual to hear of priests with children. I was worried what would happen when we came here because our old church had gotten used to it.” You had wondered why your village’s new Catholic priest had two sons at the time but never really questioned it. You wondered if anyone else had too, they probably had knowing the people in this village.

“I’m sorry that happened.” You whispered whilst placing another kiss on his head. “I think that’s why I’m so adverse to religion. My father denounced everything, his wife and almost his two children for a job. He’s moved us over to a country we no barely anything about for a job. You don’t even have to divorce if you’re already married to become a priest. I think he just went crazy.” Jeno shrugged whilst you stroked his hair to comfort him. “I know it seems strange that Donghae and I are both adults but we can’t make our own decision about where we live. But he’s controlling, it didn’t feel like we had a choice.” Jeno huffed and nuzzled deeper into your neck. “I understand. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know stuff like that is hard to talk about.” Jeno placed another kiss on your neck before you started speaking again. “I think I’m the opposite. I have so much freedom that it’s scary. My mother is a workaholic. Well I guess she has to be to keep a roof over our heads. It seems mean to say this but I don’t think she really cares where we are or what we’re doing as long as we’re not causing problems for her. My dad barely leaves the house. He fell into a deep depression after his brother passed away when I was eight or nine. It’s like he’s dead too. He’s alive but he’s dead.” You felt a pang of sadness hit your chest. You didn’t talk about your dad much because it hurt too much. You had a great relationship with him until your uncle had died and after that you completely lost him. You suddenly felt guilty that you’d offloaded your problems onto Jeno after he’d just poured his heart out to you. “Is that why you like it here so much? It feels more like home?” He sits up and asks you. “Yeah, I think so.” You whisper. Jeno presses a kiss to your forehead, then one on your nose and then finally one on your lips. “We’ll go to the lake tomorrow to swim after church, hey?” He placed a hand on your cheek, “Yeah I’d like that.”

You awoke in the morning with Jeno softly snoring with his head on your chest. Oh Lord. You must have both fallen asleep after talking. “Jeno, wake up.” You ran your fingers through his hair, not wanting to wake him up abruptly but also enough to actually wake him up because you were sure your grandparents wouldn’t be happy about a boy sleeping in your room. Not that you’d meant it. But even so, they wouldn’t be happy. He mumbled something incoherent as he shuffled on top of you. “Jen, we need to get up.” He sleepily lifted his head and when he noticed where he was his eyes opened wide. “Oh shit, sorry. We must have been tired last night.” He lifted himself off of you and sat on the edge of the bed whilst you started to get up and move around. He watched as you picked up some clothes off the floor and placed them in your washing basket. It was daytime now so things were much more visible. Your room was messy, skincare stuff and makeup was scattered all over your desk, clothes on the floor and your painting stuff just chucked in the corner. “Don’t worry my room is horrific. This is clean.” You rolled your eyes at him and threw one of your t-shirts at him. “I’d this for me? It looks a bit small?” He smiled and you rolled your eyes again throwing another item of clothing at him.

It wasn’t long before you arrived at the church with your family and Jeno. Jeno’s father immediately pulled him aside, he didn’t look happy. You wondered what they were talking about. You could see Father Lee gesturing for Jeno to sit next to his brother. Jeno gave you a smile of sympathy before sitting next to his brother. You sat in the middle with your grandparents and brother. You looked up at Mary whilst Father Lee started his service. You wondered if she cared about what was going on below her. She’d probably heard it all a million times. You sort of admired her despite your aversion to church and to religion. She had stood at the top of the church all this time, silently watching for all these years. Your eyes wondered around to the various paintings on the ceiling. How long did it take to paint those? And how high did the ladder have to be to reach the top? And how did the people painting them know what Jesus looked like? They had no reference. You couldn’t deny the churches beauty. Lots of people had obviously worked very hard to create this place hundreds of years ago. You decided to watch the back of Jeno’s head for a while. It was lowered for most of the time. He only looked up when his father spoke a word he understood, or when his brother spoke to him. It made you feel sad.

Jeno had been invited around for dinner for the umpteenth time that week by your grandparents. They could see how happy he was making you and could probably see that Jeno needed some company too. It was late when Jeno suggested you both walk into the village. Your grandparents made sure to tell him to take good care of you as it was dark and he assured them he would never let anything bad happen to you. That made you smile. You loosely held hands as you walked. You could see some horses had been put into a pasture along the road and you headed towards them, stroking their noble heads and giggling when they tried to nibble at your jumper. You passed the church a few minutes later and you were surprised when Jeno crossed the road to head towards it. You were even more surprised that the church was unlocked when Jeno pushed one of the large wooden doors open. “I want to show you something.” He said as you followed behind him. He headed towards the front and looked up, “Despite everything I feel about church and religion and my dad, I’ve always quite liked Mary.” He spoke softly, you held his hand close to you and leaned your head on his shoulder whilst you both looked up at the statue. “She’s managed to fool all of these people into believing she was a virgin despite getting pregnant. It’s amazing really.” He almost laughed at his own statement. You moved your attention to Jeno’s face as he looked up at the statue. His face must have been calved by angels, if they existed. It was perfect. He was perfect. You moved in front of him so you were facing him and wrapped your arms around him. He returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around you too. “Are you a virgin?” You suddenly ask out of the blue. Jeno is shocked by your question and almost chokes whilst trying to answer it. “What?” He says, “Are you a virgin?” You repeat, this time looking up at him. “I have a controlling overly religious father, what do you think? He raises an eyebrow. “Wait, you actually are? But you’re so hot!” You place and hand on his chest, your mouth wide open. “Thank you, I guess.” You wrap your arms around his neck and place a kiss on his lips. His hands find your waist and you slip your tongue into his mouth. “You kiss well for a virgin.” You couldn’t but say it. “I’ve have kissed girls before!” He sounds offended but doesn’t say anymore as you press your lips to his again.

Your arms unwrap themselves from Jeno’s neck and your hands find your way to his chest and then lower, and then slightly lower. “Is this okay?” You ask when you pull away from his lips. He looked to pretty right now, his lips red and slightly swollen. He mumbles out a “yes,” and you drop to your knees. In a church. God if you are real and you’re watching us right now, please forgive me, you thought as you began to unbutton Jeno’s pants. He watches you as you pull his underwear down, and take his cock into your hand. You look up at him again and he swears this is the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. You pump his cock a few times before taking it into your mouth. You make sure to retain eye contact as you suck, wanting to see Jeno’s reaction as you gave him head in the middle of his fathers church. It felt so unbelievably good, he thought, the fact that it was so wrong excited him. You kept looking up at him through your eyelashes as you went, making sure to take him right to the back of your throat. He threw his head back and groaned as you did this so you knew you were doing a good job. “Fuck, this is amazing.” He moaned and placed his hands on the back of your head. You could sense he was getting close as he pushed slightly on your head and let out a loud groan. “Come in my mouth.” You said as you took your mouth of his cock for a second. He quickly pushed your head back down and you giggled before taking it back into your mouth. And then he came. Right into your mouth, some spilling out past your lips and onto your chin. You swallowed before coming back up to face him. “Holy shit. I have faith. How could God not be real if having your dick sucked in a church felt that good?” You joked and you giggled at his comment as he took your face into his hand and wiped his cum off of your lips and chin. “Thank you baby.” He placed a kiss to your forehead before bringing you into his chest for a hug. “No problem.” You grinned cheekily at him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You should probably pull your pants up and get me out of here though. It’s late.” He smiled and placed another kiss on your forehead before you both headed back to your house.

“Really, thank you though.” Jeno said as he pulled the covers over you both. “Stop thanking me! It’s the least I could do!” You giggle and throw your arm over his stomach. “What random question are you gonna ask me tonight?” He asked as he placed a hand on your head, reminiscent of the nights earlier events, but this time to stroke your hair. “Hm, who is your favourite artist?” You run your hands down his chest and abs, feeling over the beautifully crafted muscles. “You.” He says immediately. “No like a real artist.” You look up at him and he swears it almost makes him hard again. “You are a real artist. You make art, beautiful art, and, you’re real.” He says very surely. “Thank you.” You lean your head into his chest. “Are we gonna risk you sleeping over again? Yeah I think we are, you’re very comfortable.” You say as your eyes flutter shut.

“Stop!” You squeal as Jeno lifts you over his shoulder and quickly walks into the lake, following your brothers. “No! Come and have some fun!” Your brothers laugh, enjoying their sisters misfortune but also enjoying seeing you so happy. “I was having fun!” You try to argue but it doesn’t seem to make any difference as Jeno dunks you into the lake. When you come up from the water you push Jeno back to try and get him to fall back into the water but you fail miserably and fall yourself, right into his chest. “Aw what a lovely thank you hug for making enjoy your day instead of sitting on the side just watching us.” You give in and wrap your hands around his neck placing a kiss on his cheek. Oliver makes a gagging sound and splashed you both, Jeno immediately unwraps himself from you and chases your brother round as fast as he can despite the water trying to stop him. Kaspar makes his way towards you, “I like this version of you. All happy and loved up. It’s nice.” You lay back in the water and watch the clouds above you. “But what’s gonna happen when we have to leave for Denmark again?” You hadn’t even thought about the fact you’d have to go back at the end of the summer and it made you feel sick. “I don’t know. But I don’t really care right now.” You stand upright again and look at your brother, a pout on your lips. “Sorry for bringing it up. Just want to prepare you.” You knew your brother only ever had good intentions. He’d never want to hurt you, he loved you far too much. You enjoyed watching Jeno chase Oliver for a while longer before you decided you were too cold and needed to get out of the water.

Jeno joined you by the lakeside a few minutes later as you lay out on your towel, enjoying the sunshine with your new sunglasses. The lake had a mix of stones and sand surrounding it and you’d found a good spot with no stones. He laid next to you on his side on the towel you’d brought him. He reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze when he retrieved it. “You’re so pretty.” He said, which made you break out into a smile. You felt all your worries leave your body whenever he spoke. “Even in my sunglasses?” You teased, “Even in your sunglasses.” He winked at you before he headed back into the lake with your brothers. You sat up and watched them for a while, playing and thrashing about in the water. Oliver had brought a ball with him and they were throwing it about playing some sort of game they’d made up. You couldn’t help but smile watching Jeno get on so well with your brothers.

Your brothers had never liked your previous boyfriend, if that was what you could even call Jeno, you weren’t sure, you hadn’t spoken about it. Your ex wasn’t exactly interested in having any sort of relationship with your family and it made you sad. When you thought back to it, all he wanted was to have sex with you, and when you weren’t having sex he was distant and cold. You broke up with him after five months, five months too long, you thought, and he was surprised that you’d done it. You couldn’t believe the audacity he had. He was honestly shocked that you wanted to end things with him after he treated you like you like you were just a hook up. You could remember Oliver being so relieved when you told him your boyfriend wouldn’t be coming over anymore. “Thank the Lord.” He said. He was only nine.

The boys finally made their way out the lake, complaining of hunger. You suggested that instead of bothering your grandmother for food, you’d head out into the village for lunch. Your grandmother never minded cooking for you but you thought she deserved a break, having cooked three meals a day for you for the past two months. You walked back up into the house to get changed, Jeno following behind you. Your grandparents weren’t in anyway, you remembered they’d told you they were driving into the closest town to pick up something your grandfather needed. As you and Jeno walked into your bedroom you caught a whiff of your hair, it smelt of lake. “I’m just gonna shower quickly. I smell of lake.” You told Jeno. Your mind, being in the gutter as always, asked you to invite him in. So you did. “Wanna come shower with me? I don’t share a bathroom with anyone so we’re safe.” You gave him a sultry look. He didn’t have to say anything as he followed you into the bathroom, taking his shirt off as he did so.

You turned on the shower and began undressing. You realised Jeno had never seen you naked before. You suddenly felt insecure, but there wasn’t any going back now. Jeno watched as you took off your bikini top, mesmerised by how beautiful you were. Once you were fully naked you stepped into the shower, “Coming in?” You snapped Jeno out of his daze and he pulled off his shorts and got in with you. “You’re so beautiful.” He ran his hands down your sides. You smile at him and place a kiss on his cheek. Jeno helps you wash your hair and makes sure your conditioner is coating every strand of your hair. Once you’re done you step out, pulling a towel around yourself and pass one to Jeno. He wraps it around his waist and follows you back through the hallway and into your bedroom, thankful you hadn’t been caught by your brothers.

When you arrive at the village café you sit down on one of the tables outside. Having already decided on your orders on the walk there, Jeno and Kaspar go inside to order your meals. “You like Jeno a lot don’t you?” Oliver asks you. “I do Oli.” You smile at him, “I like Jeno too. He’s very nice. He’s nice to you too.” You feel bad that Oliver had probably picked up on the way your ex had treated you. It probably worried him. But you’re grateful that he likes Jeno. When Kaspar and Jeno come out they have your drinks. Jeno places your coffee in front of you and sits down next to you. He immediately grabs your hand from under the table and rests it on his thigh. You give his hand a squeeze and try your coffee, humming in pleasure at its taste.

It’s three in the morning and you can’t sleep. Jeno had decided that after your walk to see the horses in the pasture that he should probably go home and sleep in his own bed that night. He had mentioned that his father wasn’t happy that he was out almost every night and questioned his whereabouts whenever he would see him. Which wasn’t very often these days. You couldn’t sleep without Jeno now though. He’d spoiled you with his fantastically comfortable chest which you used as a pillow. You decided that you weren’t going to sleep any time soon so you got up and out of bed. You sneaked out to the kitchen and out the back door successfully without waking anyone and made your way down to the lake. This was something you did often before Jeno had arrived in the village. Your grandfather had told you off about it, saying it wasn’t safe to go down to the lake on your own at night but you needed to see the water sometimes. Even if you’d been in the lake all day, sometimes you just needed to watch the water.

The moon reflected off the middle of the lake and reflected in your eyes. It looked beautiful, you thought. You sat down on a rock and looked out into the water. It was so calm and peaceful. You thought back to your previous summers spent overlooking the lake. None of them were as happy as this summer. You felt ill at the fact that in three weeks time, you would be on a plane on your way back to Copenhagen. You hadn’t spoken to Jeno about it but both of you knew it was coming. You could feel your heart ripping apart at the thought of the conversation. You couldn’t leave him here, even if you would be back the following summer, you didn’t think you could last nine months without him, you couldn’t even last a night without him. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard footsteps on the rocks behind you. You spun your head in fear but your heart rate returned to a slightly lower rate when you realised it was Kaspar. “Jesus Kristus, du skræmte mig.” You threw a tiny pebble at his legs. “Sorry.” He chuckled before taking a seat next to you.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, his legs spreading out in front of him. “No, I can’t sleep without Jeno.” You shamefully admitted to him. “What are you gonna do when we get home?” He asked. He knew that you were in love with Jeno. His question wasn’t necessarily about your sleeping habits but just in general. What were you going to do? He wrapped an arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder. You both stayed in silence as you watched the little ripples form in the water as the breeze skimmed across it. “We should go in. You need to sleep.” He stood up and offered you a hand. You both headed back into the house and Kaspar dropped you back off at your bedroom. You couldn’t sleep at all that night.

You must have fallen asleep eventually because when you awoke, it was already midday. You wondered into the kitchen to see if anyone was in. You could see your grandparents through the kitchen window tending to their garden and you assumed your brothers were down at the lake. There was only one thing you wanted to do today and that was to see Jeno. You quickly got ready and headed out up the road and into the village. When you got to the church you knocked on the cottage door. Donghae opened it and seemed happy to see you. He let you in and told you Jeno was in his room and he would go and get him. You waited for them and decided to glance around the kitchen. There were portraits of Jesus and Mary, several crucifixes and what you assumed was a Bible quote on the wall, but it was in Korean. When Jeno appeared he seemed surprised to see that you’d come to his home. He immediately took your hand and ushered you to his room without saying anything. “Is your dad in?” You asked when Jeno shut the door. “No thank God, but you can’t just appear here. You’re not my fathers favourite church goer believe it or not.” You smiled knowingly. Jeno’s father would often give you stern looks in church. Jeno had told you that his father believed you were corrupting him. That was true, you thought, thinking back to the ‘incident’ in the church. You didn’t care what Jeno’s father thought of you, you only really cared about Jeno. It was probably pretty selfish to think that but Jeno would probably agree with you.

Jeno guided you to his room and shut the door behind him. He had nothing on his walls other than a crucifix above his bed, which was messy and unmade. There were a few items of clothing strewn around the floor and books piled up on the desk. He noticed you looking around, “I was going to ask you if you’d paint me something I could hang on the wall. Just to make it feel more homely I guess.” You nodded and joined him on the bed. “I would be more than happy to.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. A knock on the door snapped you both out of your daze and Jeno instantly got up, scared it was his father knocking. Donghae opened the door and told Jeno something in Korean. When he shut the door behind him Jeno said, “He’s going out. We probably have a while before anyone gets back.” You then immediately pressed your lips to his and pushed him back on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer and deepened the kiss. His hands slipped under the t-shirt you were wearing, which just so happened to be his. He must have left it at your place after a swim in the lake. You pulled away from him and hooked your fingers under his shirt, beginning to pull it up over his head. He leaned forward to help you and threw the shirt in the pile of clothes on the floor. You immediately ran your hands over his chest, admiring how beautiful he was and went back in for another kiss. Jeno straight away slipped his hands under your shirt and you helped him get better access by taking it off. You also took the opportunity to remove your bra. Jeno had seen your naked body before but this time he felt different, and he swore he’d never seen something so beautiful in his life. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your breast before placing your lips back on his. You ground down on his crotch and could feel him hardening up at the friction. He moaned and ground his hips back up into yours. You continued like this for a while before you decided enough was enough and you needed him. You swung your leg over him and pulled him up by the hands so he was sitting in front of you. You unbuttoned his pants, just like you’d done in the church that day and he stood up to remove them along with his boxers. You took off your shorts and underwear and then got back into the bed. Jeno took a moment to appreciate how perfect everyone was at that moment and how beautiful you looked, waiting for him. He got on top of you, bringing you in for a kiss. “Are you sure you’re ready?” You asked him, placing a hand on his cheek, making sure he wanted to go through with it. He leaned over to his nightstand and rummaged through it, pulling out a condom.

“You were prepared for this, huh?” You smiled at him, kissing him again. He ripped open the condom and rolled it over his cock and lined himself up. “Go ahead.” You eyes rolled back into your head as he pushed into you and you grabbed his shoulders to ground you. “Holy fuck.” He groaned as he began to fuck in and out of you, “You feel so good baby.” He panted as he placed small kisses on your breasts and neck. “Jen, I love you.” It just came out of your mouth. You didn’t mean it to but God you meant it. “I love you too beautiful, I have since the moment I saw you.” You pulled him closer to you and be buried his face in your neck. He fucked in and out of you slowly and carefully. You could feel yourself getting close as could he. “Go faster.” You breathed out. He propped himself up and began to fuck you faster and harder and the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew. You whined out and grabbed on to Jeno’s back, probably leaving marks but you didn’t care at that moment, you felt so good. “I’m gonna cum.” He choked out before he released, shaking and moaning. He pulled out of you and snaked down your body, his head ending up at your pussy. He licked a stripe up you and focused on your clit, sucking on it. It wasn’t long before you came too, grabbing on to his hair as he ate you out. “Thank you baby. I love you.” You pulled him up towards you and placed a kiss on his mouth and pulling him closer to you by wrapping your arms around his neck. He collapsed on top of you, mumbling an “I love you too,” before wrapping his arms around your waist and snuggling into your neck.

It was a beautiful evening as the sun set over the lake and you and Jeno were in the water, your arms around his neck and his around your waist. You’d been meaning to talk to him about your return to Denmark but the right time never came. You weren’t sure that the right time would ever come. But it had to at some point. You pressed a kiss to Jeno’s lips before starting what would probably be one of the hardest conversations of your life. You weren’t sure where to even start. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you spoke, “I leave for Denmark again in 10 days.” You felt Jeno’s body tense up under your touch. He didn’t respond he just leaned his head into your shoulder and placed a gently kiss on it. You could feel your eyes beginning to fill with tears as you moved your arms up to cradle his head, stroking his hair. “I don’t want to go.” You cried, tears cascading down your cheeks. “I don’t want this to end.” Jeno held you tightly. He didn’t know what to say. His heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest and stamped on repeatedly. “Don’t go, please.” He managed to squeeze out, trying not to cry too. “I have to Jen. I have school and my parents.” Jeno couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he gripped into you harder, as if holding you tighter might prevent you from leaving. “You can’t leave me here.” He choked out, sobbing now. “I’m sorry Jen. I love you so much.” You pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, wiping away the tears with your thumb.

Jeno slept round again that night, holding you tighter and closer than he ever had. Making sure to take in everything about you. The way your skin felt on his fingers, the way you smelt and the way every time you touched him it felt like an electric pulse shot through his body. “I can’t be alone here.” He let out randomly in the middle of the night. “I don’t know what I’ll do.” It was the early hours of the morning at this point and neither of you had slept. Jeno shot up from the bed, his hands covering his face as he sat on the side. You sat up too and placed your head his back. The panic of not having you here was starting to set in with him and he wasn’t coping very well. “I can’t.” He choked before letting out a sob. You weren’t sure if anything you were going to say would help him. You’d racked your brains for ways your mother might let you stay in France but you kept coming up empty. She was be furious with you if you were just going to throw away your education and future for a boy you’d met on vacation. It didn’t feel like that to you though. Your relationship with Jeno was different, you felt so connected to him in a way that was so hard to explain. “I know,” was all you could say as you rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

Over the following days you and Jeno had been stuck together like glue. He hadn’t left your side and you hadn’t left his. Your grandparents had noticed that you were so desperately trying to hang on to each other, with it coming to the end of your stay. Jeno was in the lake with your brothers one afternoon, it was probably the first time he hadn’t been right next to you since your conversation. You’d decided to stay on the lakeside and paint. Your grandfather had joined you after a while. “How are you coping?” He said as he stood next to you awkwardly, probably not knowing what to say to you. His granddaughters love life wasn’t exactly his area of expertise. “I think we’re just pretending it’s not happening.” You sighed and continued to add paint to your canvas. “You know, you can always come here whenever you’d like. It doesn’t just have to be for the summer.” He said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I know Farfar, but you know my mother. We have to help at home.” You looked up and him and he pulled you in for a side hug.

On the evening before you left, it was tradition for you to play board games with your grandparents. Jeno had stayed for this occasion of course and you’d both played happily alongside your family. Jeno had helped you pack your bags and had sneakily placed a few of his t-shirts in your bag, knowing how much you liked to wear them. He seemed okay, you thought, but it didn’t stop you from worrying about him. You didn’t feel okay at all. You wanted to cry when you noticed that he’d put some of his shirts in your bag but you didn’t say anything, worried that it would set him off again. Jeno held your hand throughout the whole of your games night, bringing it up to his mouth every so often to place a soft kiss on it. Your grandparents and brothers felt sad for you both and looked at you with sorry eyes every time Jeno did it. They could see how much love you had for each other and it broke their hearts that you’d be split apart in the morning.

There wasn’t enough room in your grandfathers car for Jeno to come on the ride to the airport. You realised as you piled your bags into the car that the time had finally come and you’d have to say goodbye to Jeno. You grasped his hands so tightly after you’d packed your last items in your room. Tears flowed immediately as he pulled you in for a hug. You sobbed into his chest and he placed small kisses on your neck. You could feel his tears hitting your skin as you held each other tightly. “I love you so much. So fucking much, it’s killing me.” He kissed up your neck, moving his hands to cradle your head as you stroked his back. “I love you.” He said again. “I love you.” You said back, softly, and he sank into you even further, letting out a sob.

You watched Jeno’s sad eyes as your grandfather pulled away from the house. Kaspar wrapped an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss on your temple as you cried. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe. You felt as if your heart had been ripped out and stamped on, placed through a shredder and thrown in the trash. On the way through the village you asked your grandparents to stop off at Jeno’s house. You wanted to give him his gift when he wasn’t there. You didn’t think either of your hearts could have taken the final break of you giving him a goodbye gift. You placed the painting of the lake on his doorstep with a note attached. It was the painting you’d been working on when Jeno had approached you at the lake at the beginning of the summer.

END.

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