#every time i remember TO it gives me psychic damage | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

childrenofcain-if · 3 months ago

Note

Did your school also have that awful baby project where you have to partner up with another student and be “parents” for like a fake robot baby? The one that has sensors in it and it cries in the middle of the night and you have to feed it and carry it around for like two weeks.

I'm imagining if MC and C had to pair up for that project in school. It's a funny mental image of two kids arguing over a fake baby like they're 40 year old divorcees.

Obviously they both want a good grade but they literally won't stop arguing over every stupid thing about the fake baby.

A whole lot of: “You're holding it the wrong way.” “No, YOU'RE holding it the wrong way.” “Why did you have to dress it up in THAT outfit. It looks hideous.” “I thought it was cute! What, are you not happy unless it's wearing formal three piece suit, get over yourself.” “You're supposed to look after it tonight.” “I told you that I'm too busy with practice after school.” “Well that's too bad, we both agreed that Friday is YOUR night to look after the baby. I'll get it back on the weekend.” “But I can't take the baby with me to football practice! Why are you so inconsiderate?" "Great, look it's crying now. That's gotta be your fault.”

Teacher would immediately be so done with them and ready to take off points for “inflicting psychic damage on the baby by means of hostile environment” or some bs 💀

it was supposed to be a simple project—a rite of passage, really. every student had to go through it: the dreaded baby project. the one where you and a partner were tasked with taking care of a robot baby for two weeks, complete with cries in the middle of the night, diapers that needed changing, and a never-ending checklist of parental responsibilities. it was meant to teach you about responsibility, commitment, and empathy, or whatever nonsense the school administration tried to sell it as.

you, on the other hand, had different thoughts. especially when you found out that your partner for this cursed experiment was none other than C Lacroix.

the moment the teacher had paired you two together, you both shot each other the same look of mutual horror. of all the people in your class, of all the potential partners, you were stuck with each other. it was like fate had a sick sense of humor. C, the person who couldn’t go a day without making some snide remark about you, was now supposed to co-parent a fake baby with you? for two whole weeks? this was going to be a nightmare.

“why do we even have to do this?” C muttered under their breath, running a hand through their hair as they eyed the little plastic baby lying in the crib in front of you. “making this project mandatory is ridiculous.”

“you think i’m happy about this?” you shot back, already feeling the tension between you two rising. “you’re not exactly my dream partner either.”

the teacher, mrs. wentworth, stood at the front of the class, giving out instructions as though this were the most serious, real-world task you’d ever face in high school. you had to pick up the baby, name it, dress it, and take care of it as if it were real. the sensors inside the baby would track how well you handled it, including how quickly you responded to its cries, how gently you held it, and whether or not you remembered to change its clothes and diapers.

C crossed their arms, glancing at the little bundle of plastic with thinly veiled disgust. “how are we supposed to pass this if it’s literally rigged to cry at random hours?”

you didn’t bother hiding your frustration as you leaned in closer, keeping your voice low. “well, maybe if you actually try instead of complaining all the time, we could figure it out. just a thought.”

they shot you a glare. “oh, so now you’re an expert on fake babies?”

“better than you, at least,” you muttered, folding your arms over your chest.

the two of you stood there in a silent, seething stalemate for a moment, both unwilling to be the first to back down. then mrs. wentworth walked over with an expectant smile, handing you the baby and the care guide that went with it.

“don’t forget,” she said, her voice overly chipper, “this baby is your responsibility. think of it like it’s a real, living child.”

C muttered something under their breath that sounded a lot like kill me now but managed a tight-lipped smile as mrs. wentworth walked away.

and so the nightmare began.

***

the first night was a disaster. the baby—whom you both begrudgingly decided to name “charlie,” after a half-hour debate that nearly escalated into a full-on shouting match—began crying at exactly 2:14 a.m. you were supposed to take care of it that night, but when the piercing wails filled the room, you groaned and instinctively checked your phone. two missed calls from C. the stupid app linked to the baby must’ve been ringing off for them.

“are you kidding me?” you muttered, rolling out of bed and grabbing your phone.

when you called them back, their voice was groggy and clearly annoyed. “why is the baby crying?”

“gee, i don’t know, lacroix, maybe because it’s a robot baby that cries for no reason? it’s literally designed to do this.”

“i thought you were supposed to be taking care of it tonight,” they shot back.

“i am, but it’s just— can’t you hear it over the phone?” you snapped. “it’s like it’s possessed. i’ve tried everything, but it’s not stopping.”

you heard a sigh on the other end, and then a rustling noise. “fine. i’ll come over.”

within fifteen minutes, C was standing in your doorway, wearing a dark green hoodie and gray sweatpants, looking very much like they regretted every life decision that had led them to this moment. they made a beeline for the fake baby, picking it up awkwardly, their movements stiff and unsure.

“you’re holding it the wrong way,” you said immediately, wincing as the baby wailed louder.

they glared at you. “no, i’m not.”

“yes, you are. you have to support its head.”

“i am supporting its head,” they growled through gritted teeth. “this thing’s just broken or something.”

you crossed your arms, trying not to lose your patience entirely. “great, so we’re already terrible parents and it’s only day one.”

C shot you a look of half-exasperation and half-amusement. “well, it’s not like we’re competing for ‘parents of the year,’ are we?”

“oh, trust me, we’re not even good enough to be in the running.”

***

by the end of week one, things had escalated.

“i can’t believe you dressed it in that,” you said, eyeing the baby’s outfit with utter disdain. it was a simple onesie, with little ducks printed all over it, but to you, it was the equivalent of committing some kind of fashion crime.

“what’s wrong with it?” C snapped, not in the mood for another one of your critiques.

“it looks ridiculous. you couldn’t have picked something more… i don’t know, neutral?”

“neutral?” C scoffed, narrowing their eyes at you. “what, were you expecting it to wear a three-piece suit? maybe a little tie and cufflinks? it’ll end up looking like a mini version of your dad.”

“at least it wouldn’t look like a clown.”

C threw their hands up in frustration. “oh my god, it’s a baby. it’s supposed to look cute.”

“that isn’t cute.”

“i thought it was cute!”

“well, it’s not. and now we look like idiots.”

“we?” C let out a sarcastic laugh. “last time i checked, i dressed it while you were too busy pretending to care.”

“i care!” you protested, your voice rising.

“really? because you didn’t seem to care last night when i was the one who had to stay up until 4 a.m.”

you crossed your arms, glaring at C. “i told you i had practice. we agreed that i’d take care of it over the weekend.”

“yeah, well, the baby didn’t get the memo.” C turned to grab the diaper bag, slinging it over their shoulder. “it’s your turn tonight, by the way. don’t be a deadbeat this time.”

“i can’t take it with me to hockey,” you said, your voice flat.

“then figure something out,” C snapped. “i have chess club to attend as well.”

you groaned, rubbing your temples in frustration. “this is impossible.”

“you’re telling me.”

***

come tuesday morning, you were a zombie. dark circles under your eyes, your body aching from both the lack of sleep and the lingering soreness from practice. when you met up with C in the hallway before class, you didn’t bother hiding your exhaustion.

“rough night?” they asked, though there was a smirk playing at the corners of their mouth.

“i hope you choke on your chess pieces,” you muttered, glaring at them.

they raised an eyebrow. “such hostility. it’s not good for our charlie, you know.”

“charlie’s fine. i’m the one who’s falling apart.”

“well, you’re supposed to be a co-parent,” they said, their tone teasing but with an edge of seriousness. “maybe if you actually tried…”

“oh, don’t you dare lecture me about trying,” you snapped. “you’re the one who left me with the baby for three whole days.”

“you’re the one who wanted the weekend slot.”

“it was monday yesterday!”

C opened their mouth to argue, but mrs. wentworth appeared before either of you could get another word in.

“how’s it going with little charlie?” she asked with a smile that was far too cheery for how sleep-deprived you felt.

“great,” C said immediately, flashing a charming smile that was only reserved for faculty members.

you shot them a look that could kill. “‘great?’ really?”

mrs. wentworth raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing the tension. “is there something you want to add?”

you crossed your arms, biting your tongue. the last thing you needed was a lecture on communication from your teacher. “no, it’s fine. we’re doing… great, yes.”

“fantastic,” she said with a smile. “just remember, it’s important to create a healthy, loving environment for your child.”

as soon as she walked away, you turned to C. “loving environment? you couldn’t even be bothered to show up last night.”

they shrugged, unbothered. “i had chess club after school.”

you let out a frustrated sigh, shaking your head. “i can’t wait for this project to be over.”

***

the arguing reached a fever pitch by the middle of the second week. it seemed like every little thing about the baby was grounds for debate.

“you’re not holding it right,” C said, standing over you as you tried to rock the baby to sleep.

you sighed out in irritation. “oh my god, can you just back off for once?”

“i’m serious, you’re supposed to hold it like this,” they insisted, demonstrating with an exaggerated motion, as if they were some kind of baby-holding expert now.

“you do realize it’s not even real, right? the sensors won’t know the difference.”

“that’s not the point.”

you clenched your jaw, doing your best to ignore them as you continued rocking the baby. it was past midnight, and you were exhausted—more exhausted than you’d ever been in your life. who knew a robot baby could be this draining? C, on the other hand, seemed to be operating on a combination of stubbornness and sheer arrogance, unwilling to back down from any argument.

“why are you so obsessed with doing everything your way?” you muttered under your breath.

“i’m not obsessed, i just don’t want us to fail.”

“oh, please, we’re not going to fail because of how i hold the stupid thing.”

“well, it’s crying now, isn’t it?” they shot back, crossing their arms.

you glared at them. “it’s crying because you won’t shut up.”

C huffed in frustration, running a hand through their hair. “fine. you know what? fine. you handle it. i’m done.”

“who’s the deadbeat now?” you snarked as they started storming off to the corner. they stopped in their tracks when they heard you and, with a barely suppressed groan, stomped back to you.

“back so soon?” you asked in faux surprise before thrusting the baby toward them. “your turn.”

C rolled their eyes, grumbling under their breath as they resigned themself to doing the baby-holding now.

***

by the time the project finally came to an end, you and C were barely on speaking terms. the constant bickering, the sleepless nights, and the stress of trying to keep a fake baby “alive” had taken its toll. you were both exhausted—mentally, physically, and emotionally.

when you handed charlie back to mrs. wentworth, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief wash over you. it was finally over.

“well,” mrs. wentworth said, eyeing the two of you with a bemused expression, “i hope this has been a… productive learning experience.”

“yeah,” you muttered, rubbing your temples. “something like that.”

she gave you both a tight smile. “i’ll be docking points for the… tension between you two. i did remind you that it’s important to maintain a healthy environment for your child.”

you and C both opened your mouths to protest, but she held up a hand. “no need to argue. you’ve both done enough of that already.”

as you walked out of the classroom, the weight of the past two weeks hung between you. it wasn’t until you were halfway down the hallway that C turned to you, not meeting your eyes.

“all things considered…” they started, their voice low and reluctant, like they were pulling teeth just to get the words out, “you weren’t that bad of a partner.”

you blinked, turning your head sharply to look at them, unsure if you had heard them correctly. the very same person who had spent the last two weeks criticizing every little thing you did, was actually complimenting you?

“wait, what?” you said, your voice dripping with incredulity. “did you just say something nice to me? are you feeling okay?”

C rolled their eyes, but there was a faint smirk tugging at the corner of their lips. “don’t get too excited. i’m just saying… you didn’t completely screw it up.”

you couldn’t help but let out a dry, sarcastic laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “wow, high praise coming from you. if this was a real baby, it would probably be dead by now with the way we handled things.”

C chuckled softly, the sound catching you off guard. it wasn’t their usual arrogant laugh, the one that always made you want to punch them. this was different—quieter, more genuine. they shrugged, their shoulders relaxed as they glanced at you.

“yeah, maybe. but…” they hesitated for a second, their pale green eyes flickering to yours before quickly looking away. “i wouldn’t have asked for another partner.”

the words hit you like a slow-motion realization, and for a moment, you couldn’t quite process what they had just said. you stared at them, mouth slightly open, completely taken aback.

before you could ask what them meant, they were already walking off, their long strides taking them down the hallway.

“good luck for your practice,” they tossed over their shoulder, their voice casual, as if they hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on you.

you stood there, frozen in place, your mind racing to make sense of it. what did they mean by that? were they actually being sincere? and why did they say it like it wasn’t a big deal?

the hallway felt suddenly quieter, the distant chatter of other students fading into the background as you tried to wrap your head around what just happened. your heart was pounding a little faster, and you felt an unfamiliar warmth creeping up your neck.

why the hell am i getting flustered over this? you thought, shaking your head as if that would clear the confusion.

you let out a slow breath, your mind replaying C’s words: i wouldn’t have asked for another partner.

why did that make your heart skip a beat? this was C—the same person who had criticized every little thing you did, the one who would normally rather die than give you a compliment. and yet, here you were, feeling oddly flattered and confused.

you were about to turn and head toward the gym lockers to get your hockey gears for practice when you realized your hands were still clenching the care guide from the project. you looked down at it, then back at the direction C had walked off in, their figure now disappearing around a corner.

a small, involuntarily giddy smile crept onto your face.

maybe they weren’t that bad of a partner either.

#this is 100% canon #but since it won’t be included in the story #y’all can have it here #if: the ballad of the young gods #interactive fiction #interactive novel #twine wip #interactive story #ro: c lacroix #ro scenarios

220 notes · View notes

eponymous-rose · 1 year ago

Text

So I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3 like everyone else and had An Incredibly Wild Combat Experience just now...

(spoilers under the cut for an early-game fight; if you don't care about the game, this is 100% parse-able as a d&d fight)

So there I am with my character Amisra (elf fighter), and a party consisting of Karlach (tiefling barbarian), Astarion (elf/vampire-spawn rogue) and Gale (human wizard). We venture into the lair of a hag to try to rescue this woman she's kidnapped and I'm getting a little blithe when it comes to spell slots and short rests - everyone's starting to look pretty rough, and then there's a long stretch of having to navigate carefully around traps, mostly via jumps that I actually remember to have Feather Fall on this time. "No problem," I think like every D&D player before me, "I'll simply take a long rest before the boss battle." And the game, in its DM-ish wisdom, says, "No, you can't long rest in the lair of an actively hostile enemy, what were you thinking???" and that's how I get into a fight that's way, way over my head.

I'm giving it my best shot, dealing with illusory hag-enemies and complicated terrain, but it's clear this is going to be my first total-party-kill of the game. Several characters have been knocked down and brought back up, and we've been in enough of a bad state that all of our healing potions are gone (leading me to the realization that you can craft in battle, which then leads to all of the crafted potions also being consumed).

The stage is set for disaster: the hag still has half her health (60-something points), and my whole party is out of all spell slots and fancy tricks. Astarion and Karlach are knocked unconscious on the other side of the room via Ray of Sickness, making death saves. Gale and Amisra are in some sort of necrotic zone that's dealing damage every round.

The immediate turn order: Gale, Hag, Amisra. Gale has 1 HP and will be unconscious from the necrotic damage after his turn. Amisra has a whopping 7 HP but is being held in the damage-over-time area by a Hold Person spell she cannot seem to save against. The hag has a perfect shot on everyone in the room.

So I'm sitting there like "well, it was a fun run while it lasted" and trying to remember when I saved last. At this point, I figure I might as well go for a little roleplay flair and try to think of what Gale would do for this, his final turn. Well, he'd look to magic. But, uh, sorry, those cantrips aren't going to deal 60 points of damage and get you out of your current predicament. Too bad.

Hang on. I've picked up so many scrolls, surely there's something there that might be a fun finish. Scroll of Flying? Nah, then I'll just die in midair. Scroll of Ray of Enfeeblement? Yeah, I'm sure she'll be real sad that her melee attacks do marginally less damage as she annihilates us with ranged attacks anyway. Scroll of Feign Death? Who's ever even used that spell successfully in a video game? What would you even--

Wait. Scroll of Feign Death. Resistance to all damage types except psychic, puts the target in a comatose state. Gale's going to be unconscious next round, but Amisra still has 7 HP...

So Gale, very dramatically, pulls out this scroll and casts the spell on Amisra, who Feigns Death very convincingly considering she's frozen on the spot and slowly taking damage. And Gale takes the last burst of damage himself and falls unconscious.

The hag absolutely doesn't stop there and keeps hitting Karlach, Astarion, and Gale until they're dead... but she never targets Amisra. She thinks she's dead. She actually thinks she's dead! And she might be right, as Amisra takes 2 HP and 1 HP of damage each turn, frozen in place...

And the hag just... stops. Everyone is dead, right? Yup, four bodies on the ground. Time to go and do whatever it is hags do for fun. She leaves the battlefield.

And Amisra finally saves against the damage-over-time with One. Frickin'. Hit. Point. Remaining.

I as the player have about 1 HP remaining myself as I fumble frantically to move Amisra out of the dangerous area and manage to remember how to use a mouse in time to cast a Scroll of Revivify on Gale. Two of us, each stumbling around at 1 HP, no other healing available, no idea where the hag is in her lair, the rest of our (very dead) party on the other side of the giant room, and a huge path of traps and treacherous drops to get back to the surface. What can we do but press on, deeper into the lair?

In the next room, which I have never seen before, I am shaking. If there's a trap, we're probably done. I'm too nervous to try looting anything in the room - what if she comes back? And then I see a sparkly fairy circle of mushrooms, looking an awful lot like an exit. No way. NO WAY.

I click that fairy circle so many times and just hold my breath as the two remaining party members stumble to the exit... and promptly appear back in the (slightly less dangerous) bog. The bog where, in its infinite DM-ly kindness, the game finally allows us to make camp, where I can resurrect Karlach and Astarion in peace.

And that's how we avoided a Total Party Kill with the most situational spell scroll use imaginable!

Edit: Also, a tip for when I did go back to fight the hag - a 2nd-level Magic Missile auto-hits up to 4 targets, so if you position Gale toward the middle of the room you can take down all 4 illusory hag-clones in one turn. Ahh, it was nice to have spell slots again.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #eponymous gaming tag

233 notes · View notes

gojo-mochi · 1 year ago

Note

⭐️ Choso, or you 😌💅

Hehe you get a BIG fat smooch from me anytime <;3

It was your first Christmas with Choso, teaching him about human traditions. You made him wear a reindeer headband and matching sweaters with you. He was a little confused about what everything meant, but he did it nevertheless, putting up stockings for Kechizu, Eso, and Yuuji. Telling you what he would give each of his brothers as their Christmas gift. Choso was definitely in the giving spirit—perhaps a little too much, though. In the days leading up to Christmas, he would give you anything he found—flowers from the side of the road, coffee or tea every day, his jacket, his scarf. You had to stop him from taking the skin off his back, honestly.

“Cho.. I’m really glad you're enjoying and getting into the holiday spirit, but this is getting a little too much.” You gently put a hand on his arm, squeezing it and looking up at your boyfriend’s pouting face. The cat in his hands, still sinking, fangs on his hand with unusual force, but Choso didn’t seem to notice the pain. “But I thought this little creature was cute like you." Choso jutted out his bottom lips, and you’re sure it wasn’t on purpose, but that didn’t negate the psychic damage it did to you. You patted his arm and made him lower the poor cat; it hissed at the two of you and ran away.

“I know, love. But you saw that collar on it? That means it has a home to go back to, with people who love and will miss them, and we can’t just kidnap it and take it with us.” Choso follows every word that hangs from your lips like gospel. You could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he looked at you and then at where the cat ran off to. You squish his cheeks in your head and make him look at you. “No, that does not mean you can gift me a collar.” Choso stared at you for a moment, opening his mouth, but you cut him off before he could speak. “And no, that does not mean you need to wear a collar."

Choso put his hands over yours, using his cursed blood technique to warm up his skin so you two would stay warm in the winter cold. “But how would people know that I have a home to go back to? And someone that loves me there too.." Choso sounded so genuine as he spoke, most likely because he was, that it made your heart jump miles high. You give him a peck on the nose and squish his cheek lovingly in your hands. “I think people will know either way, love.” Especially with the way Choso tends to stick by your side all the time. Choso returns the smooch back tenfold, arms wrapped around your waist as he spins you around in the snow. You two decide to go home once the snowfall starts to get heavier. “I still think a collar would look good on me, though…”

You return to your shared home, knocking off snow from your boots and shrugging off your coats. “Let me go make some drinks for us.” You wander to the kitchen with Choso not far behind, grabbing things from the shelves for you, ingredients, and stirring the pot like the good boy he was. As you were settling down on the couch, you suddenly remembered a holiday tradition that you forgot to show Choso. You quickly grabbed his arm and tugged him to a doorway. You point upwards at the mistletoe that you tacked on there a while ago and forgot about. “See that? That’s called a mistletoe, and it’s a tradition that whoever gets caught standing under the mistletoe together must kiss.”

Choso looks up at the mistletoe and then backs down at you with a confused look on his face. “But I like kissing you all the time; does this mean I can only kiss you when I’m standing under this?” He looks a bit horrified at the idea that he can’t kiss you all the time like he wants to anymore. You giggled at his expression: “No, no. It just means you have to kiss me when we get caught under this, not that you can only kiss me under it.” Choso makes an "ah" face and looks back up at the plant, seemingly admiring it. You shake your head lightly and tap his shoulder. “Cho~ We’re both standing under right now; you know what that means now, right?”

Choso's eyes widen a bit, and he blushes. "O-oh, right." He murmurs, leaning down, a hand on your cheek, his thumb swiping gently over the swell of your skin. Tilting your head a bit so he can perfectly mold his lips onto yours. He takes his time with parting, letting his lips linger on you until the very last second. As he lets go, he looks around the house and asks.

“Can we put more of these up?”

#choso fluff #choso x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #softy's mistletoe event

88 notes · View notes

yinyuedijun · 13 days ago

Note

bllk s2's animation is hard to watch at the beginning (which is not the animators fault but the studio) but rin looooks so pretty in them and the finale aka the final match between him and sae was chefs kiss LIKE THEY REALLY GAVE IT JUSTICE! And the additional time for young rin and sae when they were younger?? Ugh so cute!!

can't wait for the day they animate the rest of the itoshi bros childhood and my long awaited match which is rin vs isagi vs kaiser in NEL!!

anywhoo since DP is set in the future, I wonder what's readers reaction was when sae and rin faced eo in the Under 17 (?) arc if you're gonna include that one in the story. Cuz I remember there was a snippet of Sae when he came home and woke up from doing the deed w/ DP! reader and reader was like "don't leave us again". Was that when he came home for U17 or is that a diff arc/story in the DP universe?

tysm for dp! and hope you had a awesome new year celeb!!

HI ANONNN honestly rin's face is the biggest temptation for bllk s2 for me 😭 every time I see a gif, the animation looks so bleak BUT HE LOOKS SO GOOD. I didn't realise they gave more screentime to the itoshi bros childhood also!!!!

I haven't touched the manga since the NEL began but I'm now tempted... Rin vs Isagi vs Kaiser I can only imagine the level of homoerotic homicidal tension 😍

desire path info below!! (tw incest)

SFSLJSKSS I'm so shocked you know this deep lore about desire path. like. WOW. I thought that snippet with sae was lost to time 😭 so like. that is actually a scene from an alternate version of desire path that I had to discontinue because it was giving me too much psychic damage to write. everything is different in that og version - rin is already in a romantic relationship with the reader by the time of the U20 match, and she and sae intentionally don't talk to each other at all. zero contact. if you want to know more about this original version of the fic, let me know and I can tell you! but I shall spare you for now as it would take forever 💀

BUT ANYWAY. in the current version of desire path - It is like. major drama at the U20 match. she and rin have a massively deteriorating relationship at this point, whereas her relationship with sae is estranged but she's kinda delusional about it and hoping he'll come back to her. she attends the U20 match hoping to see sae, and while they do meet up - he explicitly tells her that he doesn't want to see her again, which is something that he does with good intentions (he has a conscience and does not want to entertain her incestuous feelings), but it really breaks her heart. at this point she feels like both of her brothers really hate her. rin goes home from blue lock shortly after this, they get into a massive fight, and that's when she runs away. 😔

I think it makes the U20 a very weird event for sae - he continues to push away both of his younger siblings for their own good. it's to rin's benefit (for once) as it helps him grow as a soccer player, but it's to his sister's detriment since she doesn't have a support network. there are no good influences in her life. he acts all high and mighty to rin during those phone calls, but he's drowning from guilt over her lol

#yueshuo.asks #OMG SORRY THAT WAS SO MUCH YAPPING #asks.dpath anon #<- your government assigned name should u choose to return!!!!#cw.incest

17 notes · View notes

i-am-grell · 6 months ago

Text

Pick My Next Anime

I'm about half way through season 4 of Haikyuu so I feel good about rolling out the next poll!

If you're new here, I have a lot of anime that I wanna watch. But I'm bad at starting series, finishing series, and making choices, so Tumblr gets to decide for me. (Fin) is stuff I have to finish, (Start) is stuff I wanna start - pretty straightforward.

As always, propaganda* (*my thoughts/feelings/whatever) below the poll. You're welcome to reblog and bully your followers to your cause (@ other peoples' followers, you don't have to know me, like me, or follow me to throw anime at me - frankly, you don't even have to like anime, just pick a button).

Propaganda:

Ace Attorney - I believe I was around the start of season 2 when I left off in Recipe for a Turnabout. Idk last thing I remember was hearing J Michael Tatum's aph France voice in a context outside of Hetalia and taking psychic damage. I'm prepared now. Frankly, I'm impressed I made it through Turnabout Big Top animated.

Tribe Nine - The propaganda here is Corpse Husband. I have nothing further to give you. Anyone who watched this watched it for Corpse Husband.

Sasaki and Miyano: Graduation - Dub it dub it dub it dub it get Kellen Goff in that booth. I have nothing against subs other than I like doing other things while watching shows so I have a dub preference when it's available. I will make an exception for this wonderful romance anime movie. But pls Crunchyroll let them dub it 🙏 I will rewatch it dubbed if I have to watch it subbed first but PLEASE 🙏

Sk8 the Infinity - Sk8 is 0 for 4 in these polls, second place every time. I say this next part unbiased toward the poll results: I literally chose everything in this one to give y'all a fighting chance. However, I can't decide if it's funnier if you keep getting second or if you deserve a win. Either way here: 🥈

Soul Eater Not! - I adore Soul Eater, but I've never watched Soul Eater Not! Do with that what you will.

Mob Psycho 100 - I, like, just learned what this anime is about. That English title is misleading af. Other than the basic premise, the only thing I know about this series is that your sexyman lost so Sans Undertale could kill the Queen. Respect.

#ace attorney anime #ace attorney #tribe nine #sasaki and miyano #sasaki to miyano #sasaki and miyano: graduation #sasaki to miyano: graduation #sasaki and miyano movie #sk8 the infinity #sk8 #soul eater #soul eater not #soul eater not!#mob psycho 100 #sans sweep #anime poll #anime

22 notes · View notes

loki-zen · 4 months ago

Text

Speaking of tho, call me a Pokémon old man bc I am, but I still don't Get some of these new types.

Steel is whatever i guess i don't object strongly, but Dark and Fairy can go fuck themselves.

Like ostensibly the idea behind Dark is balancing Psychic by giving it more weaknesses, but I feel like Ghost never got a chance at that - gen 1 Ghost failed as a counter to Psychic bc all available ghost Pokémon were also poison and there were no normal damaging Ghost moves, and I'd have liked to see how "Ghost but fixed" actually worked in a world where it wasn't immediately made to suck by utterly ubiquitous Dark and Fairy moves that kill them immediately because it's like whoever decided how many hit points they get thought that there were still Normal Pokémon out there who didn't get something Dark or Fairy every other move.

My main problem with Dark and Fairy Pokémon is two things:

1: it is completely unintuitive what they're strong and weak against. Their inclusion as common types/moves takes the overall feel of Pokémon type matchups from "basically intuitive with a few oddities you need to remember" to "in no small part simply an exercise in memorisation", is my gut level hot take. And it's worse if you're a returning player like me, because it's also way less clear whether a Pokémon you've never heard of will be one of these types based on its name/visual design than something like 'Fire' or 'Bug', so. Fuck me for trying to use Ghost Pokémon now there's actually a variety of them with really cool designs I guess.

2: They're just really annoying to fight against and to try to use, imo. Fairies be all sleep and healing and shit and cmon bro this is a random encounter I don't have all day, and Dark moves are all "well, if this, then this, but if you don't use it under just the right circumstances it's really weak or doesn't work (unless ofc you're an enemy and loki is just trying to show an animate candle or a haunted pumpkin a good time)". Cmon I just wanna fire a beam of something or maybe hit it with my claws

#Pokémon #old man loki yells at cloud

13 notes · View notes

castrotophic · 10 months ago

Text

shoe sock phil gives me psychic damage every time i remember he exists

#dan and phil #dan and phil games #dnp #dnpg #dapg #dip and pip #phan #phil lester #daniel howell #dan howell #phandom #amazing Phil #amazingphil

40 notes · View notes

teriwrites · 17 days ago

Text

Down Memory Lane

A WIP Retrospective

Do you get a kick out of reading someone's silly, ridiculous childhood writing?

Do you occasionally enjoy taking psychic damage from reading words that have no right being strung together?

Could you use a bit of encouragement and a solid reminder that, no, your writing is Not the worst to be found on the internet?

Well, then, I invite you to join me as I take a foray into my history with creative writing. More specifically, in order to track projects with similar levels of (questionable) quality over the years, a look into the various WIPs I've written during the month of November.

Since I first started in 2011, at the tender age of 13, I've participated in and completed fourteen Novembers' worth of writing 50,000 words over 30 days. Those drafts have been stored on a variety of family computers, flashdrives, laptops, and the like over the years, and only this past December did I actually manage to track down all of them and collect them into one place.

And now, partially out of curiosity, partially out of masochism, and partially out of a genuine interest in analyzing my own writing progress across half of my life, I've decided that I'm going to sit down and read every single one of them.

Arguably, most of these I haven't read through since they were originally written. Many of them are barely more than a vague plot summary and vibes in my mind. Obviously, some of the later projects will become more familiar and their quality will increase slightly (but, remember, these are very hastily-written projects. So don't worry, there will be plenty of trashy writing to be found even up to 2024). But I - and anyone who decides to follow along on this insane project - will have to earn those nice words by living through the earlier ones lol

Some highlights of what to expect:

A bunch of superpowered teens inexplicably running across the Alabama countryside

Lucifer is Tired of all the customer complaints he receives in his day job running Hell

Area Man loses his only ally in saving his friends because he simply cannot shut up for even one second

'Bridge to Terabithia' meets 'Anne of Green Gables' meets Depression

Woman hates her famous mom up until the moment she realizes famous mom might be onto something, actually

Guy doesn't respect girl's boundaries, has sense quite literally Knocked into him (she very publicly decks him in the face)

Golden fae who swears he's just using this human girl as a tool in his quest for vengeance accidentally discovers the meaning of devotion and friendship

Student so stressed about final exams that she accidentally stops time about it

A bunch of college girls working together to craft the perfect comeback to one of their asshole exes' awful texts

Fate bullying her favorite guy by giving him exclusive access to the Worst possible foresight

And so much more!

#writeblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #wips #my wips #wip intro #sorta #down memory lane #teriwrites down memory lane #(this is what that badly explained wips poll was about btw)#also PLEASE feel free to block the 'teriwrites down memory lane' tag to not have to see all these posts #it's literally going to have 16 parts to it #each with like different posts and running commentary and shit #also also if anybody wants to use this as an excuse to share their own old-as-shit WIPs from when they were kids #PLEASE tag me in it because I would Love to see how batshit all of us were at 13

5 notes · View notes

lampmanliveblogs · 8 months ago

Note

So if jaspis is the Swedish word for jasper, then what do you guys use as Lapis Lazuli and Jasper's ship name?

Good question! Sadly, there are two fundamental misconceptions at the basis of this question, two assumptions you made that are not true.

It implies there is a swedish fandom. There isn’t. There are swedish fans. I’ve found forum posts discussing how bad the dub is, there was enough of an audience to make a fuzz about an iffy translation choice, and I’ve even found some fan translations and covers of songs. HERE is a whole playlist.

The truth is that most swedish fans who were old enough to want to engage in a fandom, look at fanart, read fanfic, etc, they probably did what I did: watch the show in english and then join the english-speaking fandom. I only started watching the dub out of morbid curiosity, and then I watched the entire thing with my little brother who doesn’t know much english yet.

You give the dub too much credit. You are correct in assuming they would translate the gems’ names, because they did do that. So Garnet is called Granat, Amethyst is called Ametist, and Pearl is called Pärlan (a translation I’m not fond of for reasons I won’t go into now).

Your mistake is in thinking that they would be consistent with this. Like, at all. The dub is consistently inconsistent with its naming scheme. I have a conspiracy theory, that the show was translated by three different people who took turns doing different episodes, but they did not talk to each other and they maybe also hated each other.

The worst offender is what they did to my poor cotton candy-haired goddess Rose Quartz. Rose Quartz is ”Rosenkvarts” in swedish. You could call her Ros for short. Maybe Rosa, if you wanna be cute. They did not do that, oh no. They called her, drum roll… Rose Kvarts. Which is some swenglish nonsense and every time they say that, it inflicts psychic damage on me.

So what does this mean for everyone’s favorite Big Buff Ostbåge? Well, they did not bother translating Jasper’s name, they just call her… Jasper. They also do this with Ruby, Sapphire, and a few others. However, remember, consistently inconsistent. There are, according to the notes I took while watching the show with my brother, two episodes where they DO call Jasper ”Jaspis.” Super Watermenlon Island and Crack the Whip. And again, Ruby and Sapphire suffered this as well, occasionally being called ”Rubin” and ”Safir.”

Conclusion Let’s construct three scenarios wherein there is a swedish fandom of Steven Universe.

In the first scenario, the swedish-speaking fandom uses the names as they are given within the dub, prioritizing the first or most common name used. In this scenario, the Jasper/Lapis Lazuli ship would probably still be called Jaspis. I can imagine it being bit of a meme with people being like ”You ship Jaspis? D-do you ship her with herself?” and everyone has a sensible chuckle about it.

In the second scenario, the swedish-speaking fandom uses the original english names for the characters, as well as the ship names. In this scenario, the Jasper/Lapis Lazuli ship is still called Jaspis.

In the third scenario, the dub was not a nigh-incomprehensible mess, but translated all the gem names properly, as it should have done. In this scenario, what would the swedish-speaking fandom call the Jasper/Lapis Lazuli ship, or rather, the Jaspis/Lapis Lazuli ship? I don’t know, but I’m partial to Jazuli. Maybe Laspis?

Final Thoughts This ask reignited a dormant hatred within me, hatred I thought I had outgrown and left behind. I was certain I didn’t need it. But it is a part of me, the part I always have to repress. I don’t know that I can do it much longer.

#ask #steven universe #steven universe swedish dub #the lampman about to enter his villain era?

9 notes · View notes

toxooz · 1 year ago

Note

The canvases aren’t even safe 😭 they used the Boroque era as reference for their search engines. Like I’m losing my shit constantly over ai art so bad. Like this is totally gonna be a rant so forgive me but it’s driving up the WALLS. Ai art being readily available is killing the incentive for people to be creative. I cannot tell you how many times I think I’ve found a really cool fellow artist on tiktok and then see #midjourney. I take psychic damage every time that happens to me. And I’m starting to see it infiltrating business too where they generate ai images instead of hire photographers. I also saw someone selling tshirts with ai art on it at my local farmers market. MOTHERFUCKER THE FARMERS MARKET??? HAVE YOU NO SHAME????

NAW PREACH IT cause its become a nagging issue for me for a while that i simply try to not think about and dwell on but dear FUCKING god is it everywhere and it's painfully obvious too! just about every ad takes me 3 seconds to find damning evidence that its ai and im 99% ready to just delete facebook bc #1 i dont give a fuck abt anyone on there anymore and #2 Literally every other post is the most deplorable ai shit ive ever seen that everyone is carelessly oblivious to i mean total abominations that don't make any sense as an image but ppl share bc its the most bottom of the barrel ''relatable'' shit and that's just the sad reality of it is most people don't even give a shit what they're looking at as long as it looks pretty to their eyes for 3 seconds they don't give a damn

and that's just on basic everyday world shit like u said there's so many mfs i think are decent artists where i legitimately cant tell its ai until i read their fuckshit bio or somethin, like that midjourney i didnt even know it was an ai program i would've just thought it was the name of a video game or some shit! like I feel like I'm kinda turning my back on the whole art community involuntarily bc i just dont trust any image i see most of the time and its fukkin sad i ESPECIALLY feel for the real artists prior to this shitshow who have art styles that now look so much like ai that they basically hijacked to feed the machine like I couldn't imagine spending thousands of dollars on an art college and hours of practice just for your art style to be The Blueprint for empty soulless photos cranked out at inhuman rates by any stupid fucking lazy ass clown like Fuck Man it all sucks so much and the worst part is I just feel like it's one of those things where it will not stop until Something caves and i honestly dont know which one it will be but i just know its only going to get worse idk i try to remember that i can pick up a paintbrush or even whatever the hell i want and make something beautiful while 98% of these ai sacks of shit are just limited to stealing other peoples art on the internet and they couldn't even paint a damn flower if their lives depended on it and if i was stuck on a deserted island I'd probably still find ways to make art with whatever tools and resources i have cause that's an artist baybay but as far as The Internet and its grasp it has on the world and trying to make it as a digital artist and trying to make money from your homemade artwork is very grim man and dont even get me started on art and artists in just about every job field rn my heart goes out to them

#me painting hammers at work using spray paint and a pen tip : ai mfs could never #its been irking me for a while and itll only irk me more its soOOOO #like i just draw for funsies atm and get anxious when money is involved but i am planning to start making money off of my art but with this #ai shit its gunna be fukkin hard i dread

30 notes · View notes

camillathe6th · 1 year ago

Text

Snippet. None of us are free.

DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to Larian and Baldur's Gate 3. CONTEXT: This is supposed to take place somewhere at the end of act 2 / at the beginning of act 3, when Astarion and Hero were still basking in the unresolvedness of their relationship, and were NOT basking in bickering constantly about Cazador and the meaning of freedom. They're at the point where they're honest enough to know each other (this relationship is real), but not trusting enough to let the other put a blade to their respective throat (is it real?). Deception expertise will do that to you. SOME DETAILS: Hero is a bard and a charlatan, plays the lyre, has a propensity for psychic damage, and appears in other mismatched snippets here. I'm using this to explore both their voices a little, so there's nothing key in here.

Approaching Baldur's Gate, 1492 (Hero)

Watch. I am watching. Not around, around is incidental, around is always shine and dust. Eye-catcher, eye-blinder. No, I watch; I am watching, his beautiful face, which moves like cracking paint around the lies that tug below.

“When we go back to Cazador’s palace…” he whispers.

This is the right moment to do this: night has fallen, and sleep has fallen, and in the haven of the sighing-breathing camp, only the fire crackles, a little way away. I am still seating, my feet tucked beneath the cold weight of his thigh, and from here I can see.

The stars are misted with velvet fog, as Astarion is.

He smiles; on his back, as if abandoned, as if trusting, he closes his eyes, and murmurs—a tip-toe of the tongue, just a slip, a casual talk, a faraway dream. You understand, of course: if it is light, if it is airy, then surely it can’t be dangerous.

Dangerous to you. Dangerous to me.

“You know what would be even more satisfying?”

I take away my eyes—leave him time to snag himself out of hiding.

“Stealing his jewels?” I coo. “I remember talk of a bloodstone tiara, back in the day…”

A laugh: just this side of strained. Don’t joke about this, says the strain. This is serious.

“Good one”, he lies. “But no. Stealing his ritual, rather.”

I arch a brow, mimicking a surprise I don’t feel.

“Vampire ascendant,” I say, pensive—not pensive at all. “The most powerful of them all…”

“Yes,” he hisses, and thus shows his hand. “Yes. You get it, don’t you? I knew you would.”

A touch to my ankle, as cool as night-dew. His eyes meet mine and clasp them there—another show of faith and trust, there, keep, don’t blink, oh, I can almost hear his thoughts, go on, Astarion, let your mask slip, keep, keep so the mark will see your hunger and mistake it for your soul bared.

Two hundred years of experience, and still so ham-fisted with the changing of his face… Clearly he was not a natural.

Still, I let the semblance of a lying smile shift on my mouth—barely a hint, a little coy, a little flattered. It says, Oh, Astarion, you knew I would get it? My my, we really are soulmates.

“It would become you, it’s true,” I say with a touch of my fingers to his moonshaded knuckles. “After all these years…”

“I deserve it.”

“You deserve it,” I nod.

He does. Of course he does. Don’t we all deserve to sit on the throne of power that haunt our fantasy worlds? Don’t we all deserve to climb above, to sit in the rawness of ubiquity? Why not you? Why not me? Why not us?

It’s as simple as that. Strength. Safety. Beauty. Power. Let your soul spill over the world and shape it in your image. Have you not suffered enough for this? Bled enough for this?

Yes. He’s lying, but he’s not wrong: I do get it. I do get it. I do want it. I want it, every day, I want want want it— But if we all deserve it, that means not one of us can have it. And certainly not…

“Not just I, little lyre. We would take it together, for ourselves. Just for ourselves.”

What? I feel the slip but can’t stop it. For a second, he has me there, promising something I did not expect, an alliance he can’t, wouldn’t, won’t give. For a second, I am pinned and stuck, spider-webbed, and my heart sings louder than my mind.

Just for ourselves. Centuries of power, pulsing in our joined hands. Just for ourselves.

He smiles. Just a second. Just a second. Just a second before I catch myself back.

Tsk-tsk. Be serious now.

“But I wouldn’t become ascendant, would I?”

“I didn’t know you wanted to become a vampire to begin with,” he purrs, following the curve of my calf. “And squander all that lovely vivacity into undeath? Darling…”

“Then,” I smile, darling, sweet as child-blood, “we wouldn’t take it for ourselves really, would we?”

He frowns.

“I would share my power with you. I told you, love. This is real.”

I don’t flinch; I don’t, I know I don’t. Inside my skin I do, but skin is here to screen truth. A smooth and chiseled façade for the bile-and-guts sacks we all are.

Is this real? What binds us, is it real? Me, him, is it real? Is he real? Am I? Together and apart, are we real? The gut-sack might whisper from the depth, pounding like a heart, but it is lying. I know this. I learned this.

Nothing is real. Nothing has ever been real. Promises are smoke waiting to be dispelled. Promises of power, promises of love, promises of intimacy, promises of eternity: a charlatan arsenal, nothing more. Words and lies mould the world.

This cannot be real, and I am not caught. I am not.

I am free.

“It’s a lovely fantasy,” I say, cutting the pantomime to the quick.

And so the illusion breaks. He sits up, he tenses, eyes ruby-sharp.

“It can become reality,” he presses.

What, did he think this was ever a debate?

“No,” I laugh, a last effort at civility in front of the rushing tide. “Because I won’t let you.”

It’s a cheap shot: I know this is exactly the wrong thing to say.

“You won’t let me?”

“What did you expect? That I would encourage you to take over the world?”

“Oh, so this is about you, isn’t it?” he jeers. “You’re afraid that I will take over you. Why can’t you trust me? When I’m Ascendant, I can change you too.”

“Stop,” I clench my teeth. “It’s not about that. I don’t give a damn about ascendancy—”

“You were tempted. You were. Don’t think I don’t see through you, Hero.”

“Then you’ll know I like entertaining what could be, before I decide what should be.”

“But it’s not yours to decide!”

The star-face cracks: the smile is gone, and the composure, and the promises; and the hope. Maybe… Maybe, this is real.

“What? Do you think you’ll defeat Cazador by becoming Cazador?” I ask, harshly.

“I would not—”

“You would! I get it, alright? We’re weak. We are. Fear is guiding you now. You’re a grasping, terrified little—”

“Shut it,” he cleaves.

“No. You need to hear it. This isn’t freedom. You want freedom but you keep missing the point. Freedom is tie-cutting. To be free you need to end him, and with that I will help you unconditionally; but then you need to let it go. Do you think you’ll be free of Cazador as you recreate Cazador? Do you think you’ll be free of your past by enacting it onto others? Do you think you’ll be free at all, carrying the burden of godly power in your hands? It will only control you just like your master controlled you. Gods aren’t free, Asta—”

“Oh please!” he laughs, an ugly laugh now, his face lined, his eyes blazing, his voice as stinging as a poisoned dagger. “What do you know of freedom, Herodias? What do you know of captivity? What do you know of despair? You fled your mommy because you were sad at home, and you think you understand the plight of those who have known real enslavement? You dare preach to me about freedom because you had the guts to—what—leave a golden cage whose door stood open for your escape? Did they even come for you when you disappeared? No. They wanted you to disappear.”

“That’s not—”

“Look at you. You’ve lived nothing. I was tortured for centuries. Thrice as long as your lifetime. Do you understand that? I was used, flayed, insulted, dissected, humiliated, robbed of myself until I was nothing more than pain walking, then numbness walking. Nothing in my mind, nothing in my body, only Cazador. You think you can judge me and understand me? You think you can influence me? Do yourself a favour and keep your cheap tricks for your drunken clientele. What you know of life are stories, only stories. You’re just a brat playing make-believe, but I’m real. My pain is real. My worth is real. I will make my freedom the shape I want it to be.”

There’s a moment then, a moment of floating, ringing like blood in my ears. I’m not sure what my face looks like. I’m not sure what anything looks like, really, not through the blur. Maybe I have draped myself in the singing protection of the weave—the fear is kept at bay, but it cannot muffle the treacherous roiling, roiling—inside.

Inside, usually, I am silent. I am outward, like a shimmering mirror to what lies beyond myself, making it mine. I am, joyfully, a sham—but here, and now, inward, I am—I am—a sham—a, a, a—a sh-sh-shamed.

The tadpole squirms and projects; Astarion, in the fey glow of my unveiled thoughts, has gotten to his feet.

“You should be,” he spits, and leaves me to sit only with myself, a punishment that fits the crime.

#bg3 #astarion #hero #party tales #notebooks

37 notes · View notes

jotadoul · 3 days ago

Text

I've talked about folken et al a lot throughout my notes, about symbolism and influence in both the series and the film (and what carries between both) but maybe this breakdown will be more clear. I'll go episode by episode. I appreciate this story as a complete work, not disparate episodic parts. I'll be covering what is shown and told to us and making connections between them.

contains spoilers for the whole series.

I write all this out not to convince anyone that Folken Must Be Your Favourite Character. I don't care about that. I write this all out because I think if you're a fan of Escaflowne, knowing what the story itself is about might interest you...?

Correct me if I'm wrong: This story is about will and intention and conflict (grand, interpersonal, self-directed.) It's about not rising to provocation. It's about the trauma of war and how people act when they lack choice. It's about the contradiction between wanting peace but doing nothing to prevent violence. It's about the burden of the future placed on children. It's a story where, even within the most dire circumstances, realising personal agency is prized above attributing it to talismans. (If it wasn't, neither the pendant nor tarot nor Escaflowne would be discarded at the end.) It's a story where every character's action speaks to who they are versus who they feel they're supposed to be. It's about accepting love.

If all of that is true, then it must be both true and essential to the message/theme/plot of Escaflowne and to Folken's character that he spends the entire series trying to prevent Van from being killed despite this being incompatible with Dornkirk's plans. Is it not true that all the characters experience incompatibility with their true selves versus their desires? Folken is the character who realises and understands his mistakes first, and not only his, but the mistakes of everyone who's come before him, the wrongness of what has been put in place. Understanding those mistakes lets him appreciate the power Hitomi and Van share, and his understanding guides them into theirs.

Folken's life as we know it begins and ends with the goal of saving Van's. What he does in the middle is no different, only muddled. Regardless of how you feel about the consistency of his aim, his life is undeniably bookended by this fact.

Folken says in episode 7 and in the drama CD that he knows where Van is at all times. This is the psychic/love-based link that Van and Hitomi have later. He says it to Dilandau not because Dilandau is meant to understand it— he's meant to understand what Folken literally says, not what Folken means. What Folken means is for the viewer to understand— and not then, but later. It's deception, perhaps, but it's not hidden.

There's no filler in Escaflowne and foreshadowing is its primary technique from the very first moments of the very first episode. For a story that leaves so much unsaid, they say a lot with these A-B connections. Remember Van learning to visualise the pendant, and then him communing with Escaflowne, and then him getting wounded? That was pretty clear-cut in retrospect, right? Remember the explosion at the energist mine, and how the rocks which activate Freid's portion of the Atlantis machine form the shape of a mushroom cloud? Then a nuke goes off later? Yeah. Chain.mp3 playing during the fate alteration experiment in episode 19 is supposed to make you feel something about the nature of Allen and Hitomi's relationship, and give you a feeling about what could happen later. Every single element of a scene is working to make you feel something.

If Folken knows where Van is, he believes he can coordinate his movements in such a way to protect Van, even while causing/permitting other damage. Is that good? Uh... no? He's in conflict with himself. But he doesn't necessarily want to cause the extent of the damage he does. It's overwhelmingly ineffectual, but that's why after episodes where Dilandau disobeys and wreaks havoc (3, then 4, 7, 9, maybe more) Folken is there to babysit him.

(I only use "psychic" and "mind-reading" to describe the effect of what Folken does; it's not the terms the series uses.) If Folken could predict Dilandau's actions, he could better control them, but Dilandau is here to mess up Folken's plans. A man who can keenly observe and intuit people versus a boy whose only predictable action is chaos. (Trying the same things over and over and expecting different results, eh, Folken? Boy, who hasn't.)

In episode 10, not knowing his name, Hitomi is asked to do a reading on "the prisoner." As soon as Miguel Lavariel breaks out, therefor no longer "the prisoner," Hitomi draws a blank card! Hello! Folken cannot read Dilandau because Dilandau exists in name only, a false identity propped up by Zaibach as an experiment. The Dragonslayers exist to substantiate the idea that is "Dilandau." Folken tells Allen he doesn't know anything about Dilandau. Weird for a guy who seemingly knows everything!

Folken's actions are wrong and his intentions are good. That is verifiably his core trait and is crucial to the story. I know that because we get to see it with everyone. We get to see it with everyone because we are being asked to understand them. It makes it harder to outright vilify them. We're given an opportunity to forgive them, even when it's difficult. You can decide who you're willing to forgive, but regardless, the story presents the chance for every character.

This is additionally proven by Folken and Allen being some of the series' literary foils. The song "Memory of Fanelia" plays a lot for Allen, even though he has no connection to Fanelia— but Folken knows the song. Allen is embroiled in relationships, Folken abstains from them, and the people around them are hurt regardless. They're each the eldest sibling separated from their younger sibling, bound by that sense of duty and then the sense of duty they take on/are forced to take on (knight, strategist) and colour-coded blue to their complementary red-coded younger sibling. This in turn says something about Dilandau and Van, making them foils. (Everybody has multiple.) Dilandau is the face of the enemy, practically a mascot for Zaibach. He's a portrait of who Van could become— and when Dilandau is afraid of Van, it's because in that moment Van has become him.

Folken and Allen both overlook flaws in their methods, or avoid something which nonetheless dictates their behaviour— trying to protect people and failing to do so for reasons they don't understand, but keep repeating. Folken, however, understands himself and his reasons much much better and earlier than Allen— which is to say, Folken understands himself at all, lol

Here we go!

EPISODE 3: We are introduced to Folken by his first words, to Dilandau. "There was no reason to raze Fanelia to the ground. I'd like the stealth cloaks to be used more effectively."

Dilandau counters by calling Folken an amateur, because he's never seen Folken participate in battle himself. Folken is calm in response; Folken's tact with Dilandau is to humour him. We see Folken is aloof and soft-spoken. Folken's relative stoicism is why when he isn't calm, it comes through strongly and needs only a few extra details to convey it. He uses lots of microexpressions and tonal shifts which, granted, can be missed... if you aren't looking, I guess.

Of course, we know Folken is no amateur. In episodes 1 & 2 we were told he went through the exact same training as Van did with Balgus in order to complete the rite of ascension. (And it seems like the two of them were equally as good at it, which is to say, not good at at all.) But Folken doesn't like fighting. This is also stated in the design notes; he prefers reading to swordfighting. But the brothers are given no other choice by the people and events around them. Folken being desperate for escape from a cruel life and seeing no way out but a clean slate is also replicated in the Escaflowne film. In the film, that conclusion is merely followed to a different place.

If you want to know more about the facts and symbols of Fanelia's warrior culture, read this.

Oh yeah— this is the first and last time Dilandau comes to the bridge of the Vione. He is punished for his behaviour and loses more and more until all he has is Jajuka. War cannot sustain life, turns out. Hm.

EPISODE 4: Well, Folken's pissed at Dilandau's bullshit already.

Folken: Where are you going?

Dilandau: Isn't it obvious? I'm going to battle. We know where the dragon is.

Folken: Asturia is our ally.

Dilandau: How annoying. If I wait for political negotiation, I'll miss the target.

Folken: Why make matters worse?

Dilandau: If we use the Stealth Cloak that you invented, we won't leave any clue that we're from Zaibach. Look foward to my souvenir, Strategos.

Folken doesn't like this at all. This is an early hint at his intentions. In a series where he seems positioned as a villain, we're shown here something strange, which is that he wants to avoid needless violence. He is distrusting of Dilandau and a bit perplexed by his boss' orders. This is also the episode where he mysteriously hints at the location of Escaflowne/The Crusade, hidden behind a waterfall.

EPISODE 5: This one'll be getting a lot of coverage because it does a lot of things. Hey, look at that... Dilandau chides Folken for being overly cautious and not letting him swat the Crusade out of the sky. Then Dilandau suggests they destroy Escaflowne and Folken says, "I can't allow that."

Escaflowne is the only mech to form a blood pact with its pilot. The only person who can enter, exit, activate it is the pilot. If it were easier, then the crew would've broken Van out of Escaflowne at the beginning of episodes 14 and 15. In episode 20, Escaflowne "activates itself" and it opens the exact same way, with the exact same force. (I'm not totally sure if the mechs are considered hydraulic or pneumatic, but a shitload of pressurised air is released when the cockpit opens. The pilots are normally strapped into their mechs, and take a second before exiting. But Van is unconscious right now.)

The only way to get Van out of Escaflowne is for Folken to commune with/activate it, and he can do this because he and Van share blood. Alert: This episode is about them being similar. When they take different actions, they're moved by similar impulses. It's on purpose!

We learn:

1. since Folken conceals himself drawing his blood, it must be important to keep Dilandau from knowing how he's activated it, meaning it's important for Dilandau to believe anyone can activate it. 2. only Folken and Van can do this. 3. if anyone else tries to do the same, they'll be injured/blow a hole in the roof. Which I guess leads to: 4. Escaflowne has a fucked up relationship with its pilot and is a dangerous object even at rest. Maybe weapons... aren't... cool...? ... Naaaaah.

Van wakes to Folken whistling the cradle song. This is to soothe Van. How do I know? Well, because it's an old song from Fanelia, which he says, and it's called cradle song* so it's... for soothing. Van being upset is disadvantageous to Folken getting through to him. That problem will repeat between Folken and Van and Hitomi and Van, it'll be remarked upon by Hitomi, and it'll resolve in episode 26. Folken does not raise his voice and looks Van right in the eye, unobscured. He lets Van freely get up and even moves aside so Van can reach the sword, putting himself (at least by appearances) in danger.

From the song to the moment he reveals his wings, Folken was leaving openings for Van to recognise him. Much like yourself, I'm sure, Van is very surprised to find that this man... doesn't want him dead?

Folken opens his wings under the same conditions he and Van will from now on: to save a life.

The gas lamp here mimics the teardrop on Folken's face while he's illuminating things for Van. The series uses light and shadow to do exactly this... only when Folken's wings are revealed, fully open, is Van eclipsed by their shadow.

*yes i do know the whistle version is called Fatal.

Folken is visibly scared/concerned and instantly moves to stop Van. In the show, Folken uses his sword for twice: Saving Van, and... well, saving Van.

Musing to himself later (or... perhaps even wishing...?) Folken predicts that Van will someday come back to him, and they'll stand together— a prediction which comes true, it just doesn't come true the way he thinks it will in this moment. And in order to make it happen the way he wants, he has to act differently. Just like Hitomi!

Notice the blue lanterns scattered throughout this section of the Vione. By the way, episode 5 is almost entirely red/blue themed :^) do you think that might be... meaningful, for some reason?

EPISODE 6: Van sees Folken in Asturia. Here's a metaphor— even though Folken walks at a leisurely pace, Van charges after him. Folken isn't running from Van, not now or ever. And yet Van can't keep up.

Anyway, Van is yearning to see him for more explanations. Folken explains (speaking over a statue of a man killing a dragon) that the endless slaughter must be stopped, and, without revealing anything about the Atlantis machine, says this is a war to end all war.

Left eye this time :^) He's seeing something in the future... or... could he be... wishing?

This is the episode where Folken says he can see into Van's heart.

When Balgus described Van, he said Van would kill the dragon at even the cost of his own life (which is an insane thing to say about someone Balgus should want to live... right...?) Although we began the series a short while ago, we're expecting Van to check the boxes of what we think a protagonist must do and be. He's revived a machine with which to do violence (that's its only function) and we've seen just how much violence he's already endured and committed.

But then Folken says something not one single character has said or will say about Van: "This world is difficult for a gentle soul such as yours to bear."

Right eye this time. Van is really taking in Folken. And since Folken's arms are open, and Van is emotionally moved, and he's standing in the MIDDLE of the BRIDGE, it suggests he may be close to receptive. He wants to be. He is acting this way because he loves his brother.

Then Dilandau fucks that up for both of them. In their current circumstances, Folken cannot keep Van from the harm Zaibach— the world— does.

Right eye this time, but Folken's not in it. Van can only see the immediate, through a renewed hatred due to Dilandau's actions. And the chance of a future is blacked out entirely.

It's interesting that when Van is giving Folken a chance to explain himself, Folken still believes what he's doing is right, so his explanation is unacceptable to Van. Later, when Folken does tries to express his regret and his desire to atone, Van is not in a place to accept it, because Van is in the place Folken was before, convinced of his own actions.

EPISODE 7: I already said a bit about this, so let me say something new. Folken is told— he doesn't order it, he is told— that the generals are coming to Asturia and that Dornkirk has ordered the conquest of Freid. He's pretty... well, he's not excited about it, to say the least. And he hates boys night with Dilandau.

Ah look at that. Surrounded by darkness, Folken is illuminated under his classic sconce, and Dilandau's turned his back on the light. We know the symbolism for light now, right? Revelation/awareness.

Folken serves to tell us more about Zaibach's relationship with Asturia. Asturia's military strategy is to form alliances regardless of ethics. Zaibach needs to use Asturia as a docking point en route to Freid. Zaibach says it wants Escaflowne. The king of Asturia knows Escaflowne is there because he already made Van battle in the coliseum. The king of Asturia and his boys decide they're going to "feign ignorance" until they figure out why Zaibach wants it so bad. They pretend they've sent out a search party to find Escaflowne, and when Folken offers to send out his own search party, the king says it's not necessary. Folken, obviously knowing where Van is, lol, is very calm (deadpan) when he gets word that Escaflowne is on the move. "It would seem that we don't have to search for it after all." The king has been shown his own ass and has to calmly shut his eyes and say "... We didn't think it would be disguised." He keeps up the lie, quickly and bitterly saying he had no idea it was in Palas! He asks Folken to keep up his end of the treaty and requests Zaibach soldiers be sent to Palas. Folken says, "You are a very formidable king." Hilarious.

Anyway, this is a teachable moment, because the mastermind is at work yet again: Folken forced the king's hand by doing nothing other than letting Van run around freely. Folken only needed Van/Escaflowne insofar as he needed to sign a treaty assuring Asturia's cooperation/alliance. Which is to say, HE DOESN'T NEED TO CATCH VAN AT ALL!! Furthermore, he accomplishes his goal using simple cleverness and diplomacy. As the military strategist, we might presume this was equally if not most of his job. Perhaps that message from earlier, Dornkirk's orders regarding Freid and it not being Folken's decision/choice, is also the bulk of the job...?

Folken orders Dilandau not to involve the citizens of Asturia, and of course, once again, Dilandau disobeys.

Okay, this is already enormous and I have important things to get to, so let's jump forward.

Some of what happens in the meantime:

Fashback about the circumstances of Van and Folken's existence. Their dad speaks to Folken once, their mom reveals her wings in public to scold Van for showing his (while Folken watches from below btw) and that is all the dialogue the parents share with their children. Oh— and Varie disappears, but does not die.

Folken is shown in a flashback taking in the doppleganger, Zongi, promising to relieve him of the sad fate relegated to his people. It doesn't work because Dilandau kills Zongi. Dilandau says he hates dopplegangers— interesting. Might speak to something about who/what Dilandau is? In my opinion they fucked up here by not showing Folken mourning Zongi. I'm honestly not sure what to make of this paired with Zongi's introduction and later Folken's relationship to the twins.

War breaks out in Freid. Van links himself to Escaflowne. Folken agrees to let the Crusade go free in exchange for Freid's portion of the Atlantis machine. Dilandau goes after Van. When the Atlantis machine is activated, Folken... is in awe, and I mean the widely-held definition of awe: an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like: [e.g.] in awe of God.

We meet Naria and Eriya and see how Folken saved them from circumstances similar to those in which Dornkirk "saved him,' which is why they're so dedicated to him. Everyone travels to the legendary mystic valley, including Folken, but Folken, who's wondering about what Van wants in the valley, cautions that there is no way to reach it, and that it's extremely dangerous. Which is why he doesn't end up in the valley with them, since everyone who wanted to go... did.

EPISODE 17: when the gate breaks, it's Van who Folken cries out for.

EPISODE 18: A lot of stuff happens, like Escaflowne gets a jet engine that Van uses to blast past Folken and give him the evil eye in the Vione... which he's able to do because, following the events at the Mystic Valley, Folken has come back to Zaibach... to check on Van. Right? He must be freaked out that Van is in Zaibach? Since Folken always knows where Van is, it's almost like being in the Vione means Folken can easily follow Van around. After all, Dornkirk somehow plucked Folken, and Folken somehow saved the twins.

EPISODE 19: Folken's goal is to separate Hitomi and Van, because separating them doesn't only mean the fate machine will work— if the fate machine works by separating them, it means not needing to chase/capture Van. Folken doesn't yet appreciate the full implications of Hitomi + Van working in tandem, he figures that out soon though.

EPISODE 20: when Dornkirk directly orders Folken to kill Van (in no uncertain terms in the subtitles, "It's time to kill Van.") Folken is so, so mournful.

That desire not to kill Van/keep him from harm is why Escaflowne activates and reveals the Vione's position— so that Van can get ahead. Van had no idea the Vione was there, so he had no want for Escaflowne to activate. Even the twins are surprised, "The dragon revealed itself to us!" Hitomi was afraid of the turnout of the wedding, so while hers are less direct, her wants and Folken's wants are aligned. (We might also guess that Van wants to see Folken?) At that time, Folken thinks he can get Hitomi instead, and, of course, he ends up not wanting to do that either.

EPISODE 21: Episodes 19-22 are very important episodes for discerning the emotional point Folken is at as he teeters over the precipice. He is distressed and disturbed by how Naria and Eriya insist on putting themselves into danger for him, and that he is the one who directed them into that danger. He is realising that he lost sight of himself and the cost is too high.

This is the episode in which Van uses his power to locate Folken :^) please note that when he does, Folken is looking back at Van.

Van storms the Vione and demands to see Folken. Folken begs, with a grieving expression on his face, to be understood by Van. He doesn't understand why Van can't see what he's trying to do. The lighting and details here are showing his specific expression, desperate, yearning, frustrated, heartbroken. Van raises his sword to kill Folken, who does nothing to defend himself. He has accepted it.

But Naria and Eriya jump into the fray. Eriya says Van is who Folken loves most. That is who occupies his heart. We should've known this already, but now that she's saying it, it's unequivocal. Van, though, only unable to see Folken one way right now, is shocked.

Naria and Eriya being saved by Folken parallels Hitomi being saved by Van and, of course, parallels Merle's relationship to Van when they appear in episode 15. Merle is Van's little sister counterpart, and the feelings she characterises as love— until she observes the love between Van and Hitomi— are actually a familial love. With the twins it's more complicated, since Folken was older when he rescued them, but the series is disinterested in showing us that romantic love is reciprocated between them. Folken has no romance arc; his heart is dedicated to his brother. Guess what! Allen doesn't end up with a romantic partner, either! We are left with an image that his life is dedicated to caring for Celena, whose disappearance left a hole in him that he's been trying to fill. So, anyway, perhaps by imagining them as mirrors of Merle and Van, we might conclude the ultimate dynamic between the twins and Folken.

Shocked as Van is, he spends episode 22 only thinking about Folken, and when he hears Folken is waiting for him in Fanelia, Van BOOKS IT.

EPISODE 22: This one is a bit uh.... exhaustive.

Folken doesn't know why his wishes won't come true when all he's been wishing for is an end to the circumstances which created and dictate not only his life, but Van's life, and Naria's and Eriya's, who in a flashback are shown both literally and as one example of his overall good but misguided intentions, and the loss he has some control over, but within an environment where he has very little. He's been operating within its confines until now.

Where is Folken? Why, he's right where Van was in episode 2: on top of the right-turning conch-shaped chamber which released Escaflowne.

He wants/wanted to end to the cruel traditions of Fanelia, of Gaea. In episode 26, Van says Folken loved Fanelia so much— he merely wanted better for it, and saw no way out other than cause it to be built anew. Van says he is going to carry out HIS BROTHER's wish for a better world. Their parents were fully equipped to end it, or at least alter it, but they didn't. Folken originally took up the rite of succession at such a young age so that Van wouldn't have to— and, because of the boys' true nature as pacifists, Van couldn't complete the rite without Hitomi's help. He was going to die without her interference.

Remember how in episode 6, Van tells Folken that a war to end war doesn't make sense? Now, Van has been made to and even come to "enjoy" committing extreme and gruesome acts of violence this whole time. It's reinforced by Balgus, too. Van tells Hitomi that he's doing it for her, which freaks her the fuck out, and when Van says that, he doesn't say the fighting will end.

Folken can no longer allow himself to help create the situations that put Van in danger. Folken understands that wanting to protect Van from but also not put an end to violence, is what their parents did, too. It can't be both. So, now, Folken tries to show Van that killing is wrong, to break Van from his cycle of violence, demonstrating it with the dragons— they only attack when provoked. And, once again, he protects Van, and he protects Hitomi.

The point is that Folken and Van, half human and half dragon, are unable to kill each other. As both he, Van, and Hitomi all express at different points: it's unnatural. He realises they were born to end violence. Then he defects to atone for the harm he's caused.

The shot of Folken's right eye means he is seeing Van as he is in the present/immediate. This is also the meaning of the teardrop under Folken's right eye: from his first appearance, it's literally directing us to understand something about how he sees his life. Van's left eye also flashes in this scene— meaning he's seeing his future, but, just as Hitomi misinterprets her own visions, and because Van is holding up the royal sword, and because Folken is paired with the image of the dragon, we know it's a future Van believes he's only worthy of and can only attain through killing.

Remember which eye Folken sees and understands the dragon through? That's also his right. Which eye of the dragon do we see? Its right. Because he is here, present with the dragon, his understanding is occurring in this moment, and what he and the viewer are supposed to understand is that he and the dragon are the same. In his design notes, it says Folken's hair is never supposed to obscure his eyes. Because he can see things clearly, you understand? But in the film, he has two different colour eyes... perhaps to represent his life/actions/future being at odds?

So, Folken leaves. What he then understands is that his fate is bound up in Dornkirk's; Dornkirk altered Folken's life. Folken's fate has been staved off. And Folken, believing he had no other options, signed onto Dornkirk's theories. Folken's wishes, despite how hard he wants them, can't come true because of his proximity to the fate alteration engine and to Dornkirk. That is why his ultimate plan is to take Hitomi with him at the end, because he figured out that HER will is bound by nothing. He needs her to go with him to Zaibach, because he needs to kill Dornkirk, and he only knows he needs to do this because he understands the extent of Hitomi's power. He figures that out by talking to her in episode 23. She can do what he can't, and he tells her as much in episode 25.

You know what else happens in episode 22? Something very interesting: Folken communicates telepathically with Hitomi and Van. Van replies to him out loud, though, rejecting him. He can't let Folken in. Then we're inside Hitomi's head, seeing what she sees— because as Folken speaks, Hitomi sees the past. That's happened before. It happened just last episode, with Naria. But now, we are seeing how much deeper the link can go. She is open to Folken, sharing this space with him.

A few minutes later when Hitomi is talking to Folken, she gets a glimpse of Naria's spirit talking to her, and when she remarks on it out loud to Folken, he's surprised by the keen insight Hitomi displays— How could she know?

The metaphor with the dragon continues in this way: The dragon literally disarmed Folken, and through this, Folken realises disarmament is the key to a better future. But what happened with the dragon was entirely unexpected, and then, just as he accepts his death, he's raptured by Zaibach. No way around it: Folken was violated by Dornkirk. He was revived against his will and forcibly abled. His body was made not his own and now he's inextricably linked to Dornkirk's fate. At the end, he will be raptured to Zaibach again. A circular story. A cycle. To be broken.

EPISODE 23: Hitomi and Folken have a sweet conversation after Hitomi pisses Van off by trying to patch things up between him and his brother. She burns off the stress by going for a run, and for the first time in a long time it isn't purely for survival. Then she hangs out with Folken. She's very comfortable and natural with Folken and wholly believes in him.

Hitomi: I don't feel at ease, but...

Folken: But... ?

Hitomi: If I were scared, you'd have your guard up too. That wouldn't work. If I don't trust, I won't be trusted.

Folken: My defection to Asturia might be a part of a plot.

Hitomi: Even so, my thoughts of trust will reach you. Although it may not be brought to you correctly.

Folken to himself: So that's your power.

Actually, a lot of his statements are internal. In particular, his thoughts directed toward Van. And he thinks about Van... A Lot! Of course I remember other instances of characters thinking to themselves (like Millerna about Allen when he's looking at Chid.) If I remember right, the amount that Folken and Hitomi say out loud versus in their heads are higher than the other characters; like the viewer is supposed to have access to their perspective. Hmmmmmmm...

EPISODE 24: Hitomi is gone. This is bad for Folken. His plan as it stands relies on her being here, and hinges on Van's awareness of himself. So, this also happens.

EPISODE 25: Sucks man. Anyway, the math here is that Folken needs Hitomi to align their wills and transport him to Zaibach so that he can kill Dornkirk and so that she can counteract the fate machine. Hitomi has to be there to do this. Since she's been there before, she knows where to go, just like Folken does, so the result is precise. Her and Van's love must save Gaea. Folken knows that, which is why he is confident in saying "Finally Gaea will know true peace."

She comes to see Folken where he's been fixing parts of the fate alteration engine that were recovered from the Vione (the parts he had used preciously with Naria and Eriya.)

Hitomi: Folken! Van's suffering. I want to help Van. Folken: I knew you'd come. Hitomi: But, I saw... Folken... you might die in Zaibach, Folken! I saw something horrible.

They are both emotional throughout this exchange. Hitomi tells Folken that she knows he'll die if he confronts Dornkirk. Folken is visibly shocked that she knows this?! His eyes glisten emotionally. She pleads with him not to go.

Folken: You needn't worry about that.

With a sad smile, he admits that he doesn't have long to live anyway— the death which was originally staved off by Dornkirk has been catching up to him ever since. This is, definitively, a suicide mission.

Folken: I'll will atone with my life for my sin of associating with Dornkirk. This is my fate. Hitomi: You can't! If you die, Van'll be all alone! I don't want to see Van sad! Folken: Van will succeed. He will leave me behind for the sake of the new world. Hitomi: That's not right! I'll do everything I can to change that sad fate!

And unfortunately... that is what she tries to do. Her pendant, the machine parts recovered from the Vione, and Escaflowne all resonate, creating the beam of light. The beam of light brings Folken and Hitomi in front of Dornkirk.

Dornkirk: Everything is now in place. All the pieces have come to me.

The zone of absolute fortune is the radius of where action/reaction are strongest, coming at a faster clip. That's what Folken's death catching up to him means. It also serves to say this: if violence begets violence, then this is a place where violence done to others meets you equally and instantly. The difference, though, is Folken's action is a righteous violence, because it clears the path for Hitomi and Van.

SIDEBAR

As always: I understand the reason for "why" it's there, I understand what it means. But in my opinion the consequence of Folken's death is that it reaches back through the whole series and completely upends any meaning of its messages. Its greatest crime might be that it's one of the most uncreative aspects to an overwhelmingly inventive story.

Folken's black wings are a literal metaphor. It's an in-story sign that he's dying, and it's a visual representation so that we can better understand the story's explanations of "what you put out into the world is what you'll receive." Remember, Folken is the one who mentions the golden rule by name. The zone of absolute fortune is simply a place where action/reaction, giving/getting (lol), is happening at an almost instantaneous clip.

Escaflowne tells us that violence begets violence. Violence is not cool, it's not good, it eats at you, it depletes you, it sets the whole world back, it's barbarism we need to move on from, and love will help us do that. This is something that Folken and Van themselves talk about. But look: Folken killing Dornkirk demonstrates one of the only true righteous acts of violence portrayed in the series— an act of violence the show is telling us is necessary in order to bring about much-needed change. If that's true, if what occurs must be done and ultimately yields a net positive, then he should be rewarded for it, not punished.

What about Hitomi interfering with Van's death in the same way Dornkirk interfered with Folken's? What about all of the senseless, "insignificant", gruesome deaths that Van and Allen caused? Even if Dilandau's fate was grafted onto Celena's, that's a very cheap way of avoiding the same implications. What about the deaths Hitomi herself is blamed for causing? Van wields THE titular war machine, and in episode 23, we know he's doing it to impress a girl. Van has experienced trauma in this process, but so has Folken.

If this is the result of a righteous action, how much did any of the story's previous points matter? If there is nothing one can do to make up for their wrongdoings, then what significance could there possibly be to Hitomi proclaiming that she doesn't believe in predetermined fate? Clearly that's supposed to be meaningful, to tell us that fate can be changed at any time— but Folken's death proves that this is incorrect, lol!

The more I think about this moment, the more it tears down the story's construction. It's the most severe moment of creative disappointment, and stands in direct contradiction of everything that's come before it. Which is... unfortunately... the entire story.

And you know what, maybe that's why people think Folken didn't matter as a character: because Van and Allen are miraculously spared (it is honestly insane that Allen lives) then that means everything they did was good. So they see Folken's death as confirmation that he was bad/unimportant. Instead of ~interpreting~ that as damning evidence of poor writing decisions, they see that as damning of his character.

END SIDEBAR

When Folken dies, the last thing he says is Van's name. The last thing they share together, through the link between their hearts, is a memory— from Van's point of view as a child— of Van running to Folken and Folken picking him up.

Wanting to protect Van is Folken's great blindspot and it affects all of his actions. Those are his conflicted feelings, which he finally settles. Those feelings are conflicted because his intention is genuine. If he didn't care, there would be no conflict, obviously. The series insists that Folken loves Van. And Van loves Folken.

EPISODE 26: And then, finally... beautifully... coming like an exhale of glorious relief... well, you know what happens.

Folken guides Hitomi to consciously accepting her love for Van. We are immersed in it. A beautiful song like a hymn from mass and that verdant field with a green we've only seen in the Atlantis machine— a green signifying change.

If we care about Van, we care about Folken, if we care about Hitomi, we care about— and believe her about— Folken. If you remember nothing else, remember that Hitomi was adamant that she didn't want Folken to die. It hurts. She cries over him. Folken and Van are linked in the exact same way as Hitomi and Van, and Van to Escaflowne. In episode 6, Folken alludes to this on the bridge. Then we get to see that link from Van's perspective in episode 21. We are shown enough flashbacks between Folken and Van to know the series insists Folken is not only important but also fundamentally good, and he was the most warm and loving figure in Van's life, far more than their parents. Folken is presented as being similar to Hitomi, Naria, Allen, Van, and the dragons themselves. They all highlight/emphasise qualities in another. That's what being a foil is.

Obviously he's positioned in contrast to Dilandau, and as a chill nerd who devours knowledge and does shockingly well with strategy and politics (episode 23) he's also similar to Dryden. You could even argue that he and Millerna are similar, being nobles who prefer to work with/among the people, and in a healer role, just as Folken taught Van about medicinal plants (episode 4.)

There are no characters beyond reproach. Hitomi is told she's caused every major death/disaster (by wishing.) If you believe Varie is telling the truth, then Hitomi is just as much a villain as Folken. If you believe Balgus is telling the truth that it's Van's responsibility to bear the burden of war, then you have to believe the violence Van must endure and commit is good and just in a series telling you violence is bad. If you don't believe it, you instead have to believe Varie and Balgus have been woefully misguided in a way that has affected Folken, Van, and Hitomi in direct, intimate ways, altering their lives completely. Just like Dornkirk.

To close: In addition to the futility and trauma of war, in addition to the cruelty of what parents/a warmongering culture can do to children, the denial of true feelings, misunderstanding of feelings, conflicted feelings, and the blessed freedom of feelings realised are all deeply important to the plot of Escaflowne. I think we can agree on that, because without that, there is no plot. From the very first episode, Escaflowne can't exist without that underlying theme. If you pay attention to Folken, you get to see the depth to which this is being explored.

Like I said at the beginning, I wrote all of this because to enjoy Escaflowne is to enjoy what Escaflowne is about. You don't have to think this consciously about it, but it is worth thinking about, and thinking about a little harder than just taking everything at face value. And I think a very interesting aspect of the story is that Folken is the character who figures out "the story." We watch him come to understand each part of the overall mechanisms and machinations, he understands what has lead to this point, he understands what he's working against, and he understands how to break it. He displays an understanding of the other characters. He alone knows what must occur, and he takes it on. As you saw in the series, Hitomi and Van NEED his intervention. Hitomi and Van understand it because he figures it out before anyone else— potentially even yourself.

And when I say that, that's a neutral judgement. But Folken is not unique in this regard! This type of character exists in an endless number of stories. It's an archetype I really enjoy even though heartbreak is almost always involved by the very nature of the role.

#escaflowne #folken fanel #van fanel #hitomi #spoilers #analysis

4 notes · View notes

lluzionz · 2 years ago

Note

hii can i request diluc finding out reader is anorexic feel free to ignore :)

Hello there dear anon. I really really hope that you just came up with the idea and not are anorexic yourself or someone you know. If that's the case, I am really sorry you had to go through something like this (or if is someone you know) but remember, you body is amazing no matter the size it is. Just like you. I love you so much you amazing, beautiful person <3

"Body size"

Diluc x gn!reader

Tw: anorexia, comfort

A/n: Apologes to the person who sent this request, it literaly took so long and it's kinda all over the place..

"You are fat" Was the three words that your refflection screamed at you every time you looked at yourself in the mirror. "You are fat, stop eating." The voice in your mind scolded you everytime you tried to eat anything and you listened, you stopped eating.

At first it wasn't that bad, just eating a little less than usual, avoiding sweets and fast food but as the time past by the amont of food you ate was less and less until it was nothing. "I'm hungry but I don't want to eat anything because I'll get fat again." You reminded yourself whenever your mind drifted off to dreamland, or rather, the food you used to enjoy a while back. "I have to change and that's final." That thought kept you going even when your felt like passing out from starving yourself.

"Aren't you going to eat your food?" Diluc's voice brought you back to reality as you turned your head to look at him. "I'm not really hungry." You replied as you gently pushed your plate from in front of you. "Besides, I'm on a diet. I need to loose some weight." You continued as Diluc put his spoon down and looked at you, taking your hand in his. "Y/N, I've noticed that lately you had been loosing a great amount of weight." He started and you felt your breath caughting on your throat as the words left his mouth. "I'm not asking you to tell me why do you want to loose weight. All I want you to do is to remember to not overdo it and to take good care of yourself and to me, you are perfect just the way you are."

A faint smile rested on his lips as he rested his hand on your cheek, giving it a little stroke with his thumb. You smiled back at him, feeling your heart breaking into pieces as his words settled in. Not overdo it? Take good care of yourself and to him you were perfect? Was he serious or he was just lying to make you feel better? You had no idea and this made you feel ever worse. What if he was with you only because he felt bad for you? What if he didn't actually liked you? All of this overthinking made you feel even worse so you removed his hand from your face and got up from your seat. "Are you ok my love?" He asked as he watched you walking away. "I'm just tired and I want to get some sleep." You tried to smile but nothing came out.

With slow, unsteady steps, you walked towards your shared bedroom and an layed down on the bed. You didn't even had the strength to chanfe your clothes. Your body was pretty weak and extremely skinny to the point were your bones had started showing. It was that bad. You didn't even let Diluc touch you let alone hug you anymore and you felt horrible about it but there was nothing you could do about it. You just couldn't let him see the things you were doing to yourself. "He would be so disappointed in me." Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you cried yourself to sleep.

Time passed by and things were only getting worse and worse. Diluc tried so many times to ask you what was bothering you but you never gave him a clear answer. "Oh I'm just tired" or "I didn't sleep well last night" or "I'm just not in the mood" was some of the excuses you used to cover up the damage you were doing to yourself, both mentally but mostly psychically. You were anorexic, even tho you had no idea that you were doing it because everytime you looked at yourself in the mirror, a fat ugly refflection of yourself stared back at you from the the other side of the mirror. It was awful but there was nothing you could do about it rather than keep going until you change, you become pretty.

"Y/N please, eat your food." Diluc begged you but your answer was the same. "I already ate." It was a lie, obviously, but you needed to lie to him in order to get him off your back. "I know you're lying..." He said in a low, almost like a whisper voice but you were still able to hear it. "I'm not lying." You stoop up abruptly from your seat which caused you to feel extremely dizzy and stumble back. "What's wrong?" He asked you as he managed to grab you before you could hit the hard ground. "Nothing, I'm j-just feeling dizzy all of a sudden..." Your voice trailed off as your eyes closed slowly, the last thing you remembered seeing was Diluc hovering over you, calling out your name, trying to wake you up.

Your eyes opened slowly and you looked around you, trying to undrestand where were you. You were in an unfamiliar room, machines were biping around you as you tried to get up from the bed you were laying to. "Relax Y/N. Don't move." Diluc's soft voice echoid throught the unfamiliar room as you turned to look at him. "W-where am I?" You asked as he took your hand in his, camling you down a bit. "You're in the hospital, you fainted in my arms." He said and flashes of last nights events rushed back to your mind. "I remember now but, why am I here?" You asked but Diluc didn't reply to you immidiately. He firstly took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before talking again. "As I held your fainted body in my arms, l realised that you had lost a great amont of weight, to the point were your bones are showing. I got extremely worried and rushed you to the hospital, where I found out that you are suffering from anorexia..." His voice caught on his throat as he tried to hide the lump on his throat.

You stayed silent. Your mind was completely empty. You knew you were harming yourself by not eating anything for a while now but you never realised how much damage you were actually doing and you ended up having anorexia. "I have anorexia..." Tears started falling from your eyes as you repeated the words over and over again, trying to accept reality but you couldn't. It was too hard. "I just want to ask you ome thing, why?" Diluc gathered your attention back to him as you wiped your tears away and turned to fully face him ansd then the truth came out. "I'm fat and so ugly and I wanted to change myself in order to become pretty." You said without taking a breath, just letting all your thoughts and feelings out as Diluc just sat there, listening to you talking.

When you were finally done comfessing to him all the lies you told him ever since this whole mess started. "Y/N, you know this isn't true. You are neither fat or ugly. You are just an amazing, beautiful person who sadly lacks the confidence and has low self esteem." His words hit you like a tone of bricks but he was absolutely right. Your low self esteem and lack of confidence had brought you to this, laying on a hospital bed and hocked up in machines, trying to correct your mistakes. "I'm sorry Diluc. I'm so sorry for being anorexic, lying to you and having you worrying about me." You tried to hold back your tears but it was impossible as they ran down your cheeks once again. "No no Y/N don't apologise to me. I'm the one who needs an apology but yourself is." He was quivk to correct you. "You tortured yourself for so long, trying to change and become "prettier" as you put it, only to end up in a hospital. Why? You are a beautiful person Y/N, inside and out without even trying but you sadly can't see that, your true beauty." He said, making you cry harder.

"You only see yourself as what you think it is and not for what it truly is and this makes me so sad because you can't see what I'm seeing, that beautiful person I fell in love with and will continue to love for the rest of my life." He said as he slowly got up from his seanmt and walked up to you, gently wrapping his arms around your skinny body hugging you close to him as you cried. "It's okay Y/N. Everything will be alright. I am here for you." He said as his hand run circles on your back in an attempt to comfort you. It worked as you slowly stopped crying and raised your head up to look at your lover. He looked down at you and smiled, bringing his hand up to wipe your tear stained cheeks. "I will be here for you and we will get through this together. Your pain and sadness are mine too so let me help you recover and be happy because, I can't afford to loose you. I love you so much and I can't imagine living in a world without you." Uppon hearing his words, smile made it's way across your lips as you hugged him as tightly as you could, using that small amount of strength that was left in your body. "I love you too Diluc."

#diluc x reader #diluc x y/n #diluc x you #diluc comfort #genshin diluc #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin fanfic #genshin comfort

102 notes · View notes