#every situation is different but in general
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Guess who watched X-Men origins again
OK SO I got THOUGHTS of this movie but specially Wade's fight style because it's really similar to our current Deadpool's fighting style... so yeah I wanna yap about that hi
WELL FIRST OF wanna talk a lil about Victor, Logan and Wade's different styles... from a mortal's view point I am no expert on this just insane about these movies and I need to write my thoughts or i'll explode
Starting with Victor!! the ultimate kittycat girlypop
I love his kitty self I'm sorry ANYWAY EXAMPLES
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OKAY SO VICTOR. Victor's style is obviously very animalistic but also stylized, he makes the fight a show for himself! He likes to hunt and he tries to always give chase or play around a bit before the kill, just like a cat playing with his food!
AND IF you pay attention to the start of the movie, this game he's got with his target isn't initially how he fought, he kinda developed it as the years went by and the eviler he got the more he played with his food. The first few wars he goes to he's fighting like a human soldier, then you can see him slip up some animal jumps and uses his claws more until at the end he's full on predator chasing his prey (just like when he captures Scott, my god I love that scene he's terryfing)
AND A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND LOGAN (that I will also talk about later I guess) is that with this play thing Victor has going on it SHOWS that he THINKS about the stragety when fighting, he's aware of his surroundings and his target's strenghs and weaknesses, he's good at coming up with solutions on the spot (see his fight with John, he can predict where he's going to teleport and catch him) and how to give a good chase without losing WHILE LOGAN WELL, at least in this movie he seems very lost when fighting?? he mostly just launches at his target and attacks, if the target runs away he chases, very animalistic but in a feral-based on instincts way... prolly why he coulnt win agaisnt Victor at first, because he was being blinded by his rage while Victor was quite literally playing with him lmao
ANYWAY LOGAN our favorite traumatized babygirl
and boy does he suffer in this one aughh EXAMPLES
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Now you must be wondering why did I put the bathroom scene, well I feel like it represents Logan's general situation pretty well! (and its silly let me be), hes confused destroying everything and just keeps making it worse every time he tries to fix it.
The thing about Logan in this movie is that he's honestly just- confused and angry from the moment he killed his father, he runs away over and over again from EVERYTHING and he's constantly being manipulated BY EVERYONE!! Poor man has no idea what to do with himself of who he can actually trust but damn he tries, his enviroment is contantly changing and he's trying his best to adapt but he does it in a messy way.
The way he fights and acts in general is animalistic, yes, but more of the "scared dog attacks" kind of way, he's always acting on his instinct that it's mostly led by anger. When he fights he just throws himself and tries to slash whatever he can, he runs he hides and then when he gets the chance to he attacks again.
He constantly has little to no control of the situtation WHICH IS SPECIALLY SEEN pre-adamantium where he keeps losing to Victor because unlike him- he has no plan, he's being manipulated and kept blind of everything ON PURPOUSE which obviouly puts him in a disadvantage so yeah.
AFTER he gets the adamantium you can see his skills strengen with his knowledge, the more he lears about his situation the more focused he is and his fighting it's cleaner, he still moslty just launches himself head first into fights BUT he's not running away, he's able to evaluate his situation and adapt (See his fight with Gambit, he looks at him when running away and then destroys the stair so Gambit can't run away OR with Deadpool where he decides to gain height as a way to create the space needed to evaluate his enemy?? that one might be a lil bit of a stretch tho)
WADE WILSON THE ULTIMATE CUTIE PRINCESS
let's ignore how dirty they did him ok...
OKAY SO SADLY- The bullet scene is pretty much the only scene where we see him fight and it's honestly not enough to tell how his normal style is BUT I WILL SAY his general style is fancy to look at and scarily effective (which is mostly seen with our current Wade but you can see a bit in origins deadpool) he makes a show for everyone to see, which is also his stragedy to make himself even better at combat! He uses a lot of fancy movements and acrobatics that help him AND takes his enemies off-guard, confusing them as where they should attack or what he's going to hit?? anyway-
Comparison time yippieee THIS IS WHAT THIS POST IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT LMAO
I did not get side tracked idk what you mean.... and now seeing it over and over I'm realizing not that noticeable.... so it's just not that much to talk about oops
LOOK AT THIS WADE, LOOK AT THE MOVEMENTS HE DOES WITH HIS LEGS!! HIS HANDS??? THIS MAN IS SHOWING OFF he's using all kinds of acrobatics and fancy movements while fighting, he attacks with his hands and dodges using mostly his legs, he's using all he has!! and it's making Logan lose BECAUSE LOGAN CAN'T FOCUS!! specially since he's so "target locked will attack", Wade makes it SO HARD for him to focus on a pose long enough to actually stab him also Logan ain't too good at dodging, I'm guessing it could be because he heals? dunno
now what inmediately came to my mind upon rewatch was THIS scene (maybe because I saw it recently who knows)
THE SETTING IS SO SIMILAR!! Wade is using a lot of fancy movements to get up, dodge and attack all way too fast for Logan to process, once again Logan is looking everywhere confused about where to aim bc this silly red guy it's dancing on his face and he's struggling to keep up JUST LIKE IN ORIGINS except well he IS able to get a hit bahah
Dodges like crazy, jumps over Logan (he did in origins too) just moves a lot between every attack
Actually now that I think about it Wade feels a bit less effective in the car, like yes sure he's putting up a good fight but Logan still feels like he's leading it BECAUSE WADE IS MORE EFFECTIVE WHEN HE HAS MORE SPACE!! he likes to be able to move around and do gimnastics while Logan it's a lot better the closer he gets to his target so omg yeah... ALSO LIKE WADE STILL TRIES TO MOVE AROUND he shoves Logan away from him, he gets out of the car choking logan with a seatbelt and gets to the back, he tries to create space because that's where his speciality WHILE LOGAN keeps trying to get closer to have him in his power, which he gets to do since the car isn't allowing Wade to move as freely as he would want to...
AND YOU CAN SEE HIS FANCY MOVEMENTS WITH FRANCIS TOO he's constantly circuling him, dodging and spinning while Francis is just trying to get a hit, Wade keeps his enemies chasing him when he fight THAT'S the way he controls it and gets it wherever he wants aughh
ANYWAY YEAH I think that's it, don't really know how much sense any of this does since I've been writing it on-and off the whole day lmao it's so messy but yeah feel free to add onto it I'd love to see opinions on this wahoo
Might keep talking about stuff I find interesting in the movies bahah this has been funn
#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadpool 3#deadpool#xmen origins#james logan howlett#origins deadpool#x men origins wolverine#Youtube
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So, I went to a game store, and I asked if there were any good beginner games for someone who tried the DnD Essentials Kit and found it too complicated, and you'll never guess what one singular game they suggested!
THEME: Simpler Games than DND.
My friend, I’m not a very good guesser, but I hope that I am able to present you with some games that will give you what you’re looking for.
24XX: Chaos Unit, by polyhedralmice
Deep under the busy streets of Sapien City is the headquarters of the Vermin Squad, the espionage wing of a secret organization of urban animals known as the CHAOS Unit. They capitalize on the fact that vermin are virtually invisible human inhabitants of the city and use they use their street smarts to run vital missions for the unit. Raccoons, opossums, pigeons and squirrels each play specific roles and together form teams that take on the most vital of missions. From intercepting life-saving pizza orders to rescuing their colleagues from the dastardly Animal Control, there is no task too daunting for the brave animals of the Vermin Squad. Every night teams are sent out on their missions, and this is the story of one of those teams. Nothing will stop these brave agents from successfully completing their tasks (except maybe a humane trap baited with peanut butter).
CHAOS Unit is a spy themed hack based on Jason Tocci’s 24XX.
24XX games are great for groups that love different-sided dice. In general, you only have a few skills for your character that are outside the normal parameters (upgraded to d8 - d12), and the success threshold is the same for pretty much every roll. The challenges and situations of any given scenario are typically presented as roll tables, allowing the GM to come up with an adventure just by rolling a few dice.
CHAOS Unit has just a few character options, some simple gear options, and a comparatively light-hearted premise. It’s a great introduction to the system, and learning how to play one 24XX game makes every other 24XX game a piece of cake to learn, even if they include new rules.
Loot, by Gila RPGs.
LOOT is a fantasy TTRPG by Gila RPGs that combines looter shooter mechanics with west marches vibes. When a rebellion toppled a lich overlord and torn down his city, the people were left with a lot of loot, and a lot of problems. That's where you come in.
Get some friends together, fight some monsters, deck your characters out in cool loot. Do it all over again.
Even though LUMEN uses grid-based combat, your character’s stats are simplified, reduced to a few things: health, armour, and three action types: force, flow & focus. Your stats themselves come from the items that your carry - your loot.
Your loot is organized through slots on your character sheet: you can only carry so much, so you’ll have to think carefully about what kind of stat bonuses and abilities you want. I find that a visual inventory can make it easier to keep track of everything you have, and can help some players learn how to think strategically. If you like the fantasy and strategy that exists in D&D but don’t want to do nearly as much math, you might be interested in LOOT - although the lack of dice is certainly a big change.
Slugblaster, by Wilkie’s Candy Lab.
In the small town of Hillview, teenage hoverboarders sneak into other dimensions to explore, film tricks, go viral, and get away from the problems at home. It’s dangerous. It’s stupid. It’s got parent groups in a panic. And it’s the coolest thing ever.
This is Slugblaster. A table-top rpg about teenagehood, giant bugs, circuit-bent rayguns, and trying to be cool.
Forged in the Dark games can be tricky to introduce to a new table, but Slugblaster is one of a few that I think can do the job. It’s a streamlined version of the system, that takes away a lot of the crunch that comes from Stats, Position, and Effect, and boils it all down to Kick and Boost. It also streamlines harm into 2 levels of slams, and keeps stress and downtime to a procedure that you can follow step-by-step when you finish a run. Finally character creation is very easy: you only make few choices in terms of abilities, and many of these choices are descriptive, rather than mechanical.
One thing I’ve noticed about games with “simpler” rules systems is that they typically do require a bunch of improv, which can be scary for new GMs. Slugblaster isn’t that different in this regard, but it does have a few things you as a GM can prepare beforehand if you want to make things easier for yourself. For example, you can set up your map of the different dimensions beforehand, including the doorways that the teens can get through. If you know that the teens get back to your home dimension without going through Operablum, then you can prepare a few location - specific threats to confound the teens as they try to get back in time for dinner.
Another strength of these games is that typically, if a player wants to do something, they just have to be able to describe how they’d do it - you can then work backwards using the gear & resources on your sheet to give you some dice to roll, as well as the logic of the game world, to figure out what happens next.
Lady Blackbird, by John Harper
Lady Blackbird is on the run from an arranged marriage to Count Carlowe. She hired a smuggler skyship, The Owl, to take her from her palace on the Imperial world of Ilysium to the far reaches of the Remnants, so she could be with her once secret lover: the pirate king Uriah Flint.
Lady Blackbird is the first game I ever played, and it’s a game I fell for - hard. It involves rolling pools of dice that you pull from descriptive collections of tags assigned to pre-generated characters. It simplifies game-play by taking away the step of character creation, and gives the group a pretty solid story to pick up and follow wherever your heart may lead.
While the rules of the game are fairly simple, I think that as a GM, you’re going to need to be comfortable with a fair bit of improv to make this work. The game has some excellent pieces of advice on how to come up with scenes for the characters, and even includes some example complications to throw at the party. I’m really glad this was my first game because from the beginning, it affirmed that roleplaying games are a communal experience, and even if the characters and the starting scenario are already written for the group, the players have a lot of freedom to decide who their characters are, and what they’re going to value.
Liminal Horror, by Goblin Archives.
There’s a strange comfort to ambiguity. To stand at the threshold between states of what was and what’s next, to inhabit the places of transition. But you’re never truly alone here. There are things that hunger within the dark places. Strange creatures and mysteries lie in wait and tumbling into the wrong place at the wrong time may put you on the path towards doom.
Grab your flashlights and blood splattered jackets as you try to make it through the night. Beware, snapping bone and rending flesh are often the simplest outcome. While there may be great power within these places… not all mysteries can be solved and not everyone can be saved. Above all, there are fates far worse than death.
LIMINAL HORROR is a rules-lite, adaptable Survival-Horror roleplaying game about normal characters and their struggles against the things that go bump in the night. The game focuses on surviving the weird and Investigating horrors while blending simple, old-school inspired rules with modern, narrative first principles. Survival is not guaranteed and those that do make it through the night are often forever changed.
In Liminal Horror, character creation is rather quick, often easily generated using a few dice rolls. For most tasks, your characters will roll a d20 and try to get a number lower than one of their three stats, so when you get started, teaching the game should be pretty simple. Of course, since it’s a horror game, there’s more than just trying to roll under a stat: characters will find themselves subject to the consequences of being exposed to horrors that are far beyond the limits of human experience. As a result, characters will find themselves dealing with two different kinds of harm: stress & fallout. These two harm systems will make the stakes feel real, and they’ll also inflict changes on your characters as you play.
Liminal Horror has a few things going for it. The basic rules are fairly straightforward, but they’re also free. The game is meant to be paired with pre-written adventures, which often include place descriptions, NPCs, and adventure-specific consequences to torture the characters with. A lot of the adventures available come with a price tag, but if you want to try out the system, there’s a couple of free ones out there - I recommend Messenger National Park, by capacityforwonder.
For the Ship And Its Crew, by Adeline Fowl Games.
We've crewed this Ship for years together. We've seen wondrous sights, gotten ourselves into seemingly insurmountable trouble, and have owed our fair share of creds to the wrong people. And yet, still, we fly. But after all these years, our past may be catching up with us. As the missiles tear across starlit space, we'll be forced to ask ourselves: What will we do, for the Ship and its Crew?
This is a hack of For the Queen, which mostly involves answering prompts, using something like a card deck, or in this case, a digital hosting service. Your group is telling a story by taking turns answering questions, which makes the game fairly easy to teach, even to people who don’t have a lot of roleplaying experience.
These kinds of games can also be played very quickly, which might also make it easier to introduce to folks who aren’t used to sitting around a grid and calculating resources for 2+ hours.
Other Recommendation Posts To Check Out…
Easy To Teach Recommendation Post
First Time GMs Recommendation Post
Little Reading or Writing Required Recommendation Post
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Okay, let’s talk Lucanis’s mind prison (Warning: Spoilers):
I honestly haven’t seen much discourse yet on how the “prison guards” reflect aspects of our favorite assassin’s personality. So, I figured I throw my two cents into the ring.
Let’s start with Caterina. Honestly, the most surface level of our four candidates, especially with Spite spelling it out for us. Caterina is Lucanis’ fear. Specifically, his fear of failing. Failing and disappointing Caterina. Failing the expectations set for him and by him. Failing Rook. Not killing Ghiln’nain at Weisshaupt was the cherry on top of an absolute shit sunday of what Lucanis would see as a year’s worth of failure. He’s been captured, tortured, and turned into an abomination by the very people he’s supposed to put the fear of the Maker into. It all just confirms those secret fears of not being good enough he’s been carrying for most of his life. And now he’s being confronted with a similar situation but with stakes on a personal level. Either decision he makes, he (at this point) loses.
Next up, Harding. Harding is his fear of Spite. Of what he could become, and who he could hurt, if he ever loses a modicum of control over the demon. It’s no accident Harding’s is the face he summons to project this. She might be the most sympathetic to his plight and still be willing to kill him if he ever loses control. Harding tells him in the real world that she would know it wouldn’t be his fault, but she wouldn’t let him hurt their friends. And Lucanis encourages her with this! Harding also seems to be the only other person besides Rook to ask if he would like a different room and to show concern with his isolating patterns. The fact she cares in spite of her fear (which he shares) makes her a perfect representative. Because he might literally kill himself then risk hurting her.
Neve. Ah Neve, a potential love interest or Lucanis’s best friend if you romance him as Rook. By this point in the quest, Rook has bulldozed their way past Lucanis’s fears and insecurities. Now it’s time to lash out. If you listen to his & Neve’s banter with each other and in general, they are the driest pair of a-holes you will ever meet. It’s great! So, naturally, when it comes to throwing that cynicism and sarcasm up like a freaking shield, Neve is who he thinks about. I also love the insight this section gives into how Lucanis groups people in his head (family, enemy, and contract). That’s not Spite. Spite, we’ve seen, tends to build the framework of his interactions from his host. That is all Lucanis, baby! We also get a little more insight into how Lucanis views Neve herself. I like to think Spite’s description is kind of the gut instinct, first impression our boy had meeting Neve in the Ossuary or later at the Lighthouse. On paper, she’s a Tevinter mage like the ones who held him for a year. His head knows she’s not the same, but I’ll bet she set off all his defensive instincts and now there’s guilt associated with that. Because he likes Neve. He gets along with Neve. He really needs to teach Neve how to appreciate coffee. But he can’t shake how he felt first meeting her and, like everything else, he carries it with him.
Fucking Illario. It tracks that Lucanis at his most self-hating would dredge up this dumbass. This is the crux of his current dilemma. He loves his cousin. They’re the last person the other & Caterina has. But if he’s going to do this the Crow way, Illario has to die & Caterina will likely fall in the crossfire. Or, worse, she will never forgive him. It is the surest confirmation he is the monster everyone thinks he is. After all, only an abomination would kill all the family he has left. And because it’s Lucanis and it’s Rook, who just keeps sidestepping every excuse he can come up with, his last card is to show the monster behind the man. To show Rook the demon of Vyrantium.
In case you couldn’t tell, I love this mission!
#dragon age veilguard#dragon age#lucanis dellamorte#inner demons quest#god this is such a cool questline#I could talk about it forever#veilguard spoilers#dragon age Veilguard spoilers
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I'm a trans man who generally experiences male privilege is how I say that?
I get we don't all, and it's situational, but that privilege is situational for every man and is always contingent on performing manhood appropriately, so I don't see how it's different for trans men.
But I have experienced material difference in how I'm treated based on the gender I'm perceived as. This often persists when people know I'm trans because people are conditioned to react to my voice and appearance first and foremost. A masculine voice is heard as more authoritative, and I can tell you this firsthand, which is a valuable perspective, is it not?
I feel like this is all nitpicking at language when you know exactly what I mean?
if your trans feminist theory link post doesn’t include anything by trans men it’s only half a theory. you can’t just define trans men out of your version of feminism
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listen i know i yap a lot about nick and neurodiversity in my fics but it's like. every time i reread heartstopper it really jumps out at me and i'll probably reblog this again with more thoughts as i continue my reread but like.
it strikes me as interesting that despite the fact that nick gets called a chav pretty early on by tao, we never actually see nick acting that way on page. i think the show does a good job at showing how nick has sort of chameleoned himself and stuffed his real personality down but the show is a topic for a different post. in the webcomic we see it once when charlie is teasing him about being laddish and nick decides to act that way for a laugh. on one hand, i chalk this up to most of the early webcomic/heartstopper in general being in Charlie's pov. he wouldn't have noticed these things about Nick because they didn't really notice each other until their meet cute, which is realistic. I think it also speaks well to Charlie's character that he takes who Nick is at face value and challenges Tao's opinion of him. but what jumps out at me is that in harry's birthday party we sort of see the first instance of nick's "meaner" side and it's in the context of defending Charlie. Still! The first instance of this really sunshiney character taking quite a big turn!
But notice how the dig isn't personal? These are all observations about Harry that can be deduced in the context of the material before it. That is to say, despite being friends with Harry since he was like 11, Nick keeps it simple. It reminds me a lot of how you correct a dog's behavior in the moment and I can go on for ages about Nick and dogs but again-- that'll be another post. What follows this really intense moment is another really intense moment when he and Charlie are alone and like yeah, they're teenagers, being teenaged is intense enough. But after their kiss, we have this panel and my God is it one of my favs:
I really love how Nick is framed with flowers in this scene because it really feels like it's him blossoming into himself in this moment where it's just him and Charlie. Charlie is shown over and over again to be Nick's safe person in comic and while they are obviously falling in love way before this, I still feel like this is the moment where Nick decides it's safe to love Charlie (I mean duh, they kiss a LOT in this episode), or rather, to hand Charlie his emotions and feel like they won't be fucked with or used against him. And that's huge! Nick wears all his feelings on his sleeves, he's not even slick about it either-- the fact that Christian, Sai, and Otis pick up on the fact that Nick has a thing for Charlie before he does speaks a lot to the fact that Nick doesn't seem very aware of how much of himself he gives away on the regular. Which again, in juxtaposition with the fact that he's perceived as a judgmental rugby lad by Tao (which, grain of salt here. I love Tao a lot but he's also quite judgmental in his own ways so this is a pot and kettle situation), and the fact that his own mother comments on the fact that he's much more himself since befriending Charlie? That's MASSIVE. I dunno. I could be projecting here but as an autistic teenager who did everything in my power to be like my peers and lowkey hated myself for it, I find this incredibly relatable. We see Nick starting to realize that a lot of his friends are dicks several times before he and Charlie kiss for the first time, and that's also relatable. It took me so long and still takes me so long to realize that people I thought were friends are actually quite shit. Again, I could be projecting but it reads very neurodivergent to me that it takes Nick being exposed to someone who is actually kind to him (Charlie) to realize that his friends aren't kind people. Insane tbh! Something else that got me is that we see Nick struggle with the fact that he really likes Charlie and wants to stay with him vs. the responsibility he feels to regroup with his friends. I don't actually think it's responsibility. I read it as Nick putting his mask back on and resuming the expectations he's been bearing since before he met Charlie and it's a visible struggle for him.
Nick, while pretty unaware of the fact that he can be read like a book, is also incredibly aware of the role he plays in his own friend group and the ways in which he has to perform. But he doesn't like it now. His early love for Charlie really puts things in perspective for him that he doesn't have to accept where he's at currently if he's unhappy and we get that moment of regret where we see that he knows he fucked up by leaving Charlie.
It looks like he's disassociating here. That, or his mind is still in that room with Charlie. It's a battle of expectations vs. what Nick wants. And Nick's wants are never Nick's first priority. He's a pathological people pleaser after all. And despite the fact that he just fully made out with another boy despite barely having figured out that he likes guys and the ethics on Charlie kissing him without asking (teenage stuff, I'm not arguing about it rn especially because this doesn't bother Nick in canon. idk why this discourse exists but maybe i was just making out too much as a teenager) The next day, Nick clears the air. Literally runs to Charlie's in the rain so they can talk it out and so he can be understood properly. He's desperate to make things right with him because 1) he's in love and 2) he cares a lot about Charlie's feelings to the point of putting them above his own later in the story. But the way he does it and the way he sort of overexplains his feelings almost constantly really strike me as neurodivergent. Nick goes above and beyond explaining how he feels to make sure nothing can be misconstrued and that really gives me the sense that Nick is... somewhat aware of the fact that people assume how he feels? Granted, this is coming off the heels of everyone saying he was in love with Tara, so maybe he felt the need to explain himself more since some people think one pre-teen kiss = fairytale love. (ignore the fact that Nick's fairytale kiss with the flowers totally equaled fairytale levels of love for him, lol.)
He literally explodes! Charlie is physically taken aback by his words. This happens right after Charlie has his big "I shouldn't have kissed you this was all my fault" etc. explosion. Which! The fact that Charlie explains how he feels down to feeling at fault and sharing that with Nick, who is very much like no.. no nO WAIT. I LIKED IT. (so much that he kisses Charlie to get him to understand that pre-explosion). And again, we sort of see Nick trying to bottle and be a bit more normal about it immediately before when Charlie tells him he's getting mixed-signals. Nick's response was to unmix the signal and then cry about it because THIS. IS. A . LOT.
For a cis-male character who is involved in a very masculine sport, surrounded by masculine people who are not nearly as emotional as he is(on page at least) the fact that Nick goes above and beyond in this moment where he's so vulnerable to ensure Charlie understands him is hugely neurodivergent to me. He's making sure Charlie gets that Nick loves him, he's making sure he gets that he's not mad about the kiss, and he makes sure Charlie knows he feels bad for leaving him behind. His bases are covered! There's no room to make assumptions about how he feels and I imagine for Charlie, a chronic overthinker, the fact that Nick is so blunt about his feelings all the time must be fucking incredible. He can actually take Nick at face value (at least at this point in the story ). But especially after Ben's gaslighting shit? Like fuck! I'd want to jump into a relationship too if the guy I've been crushing on for like two months ran to me house in the rain, kissed me, cleared the air, and then cried in my arms. I love emotional honesty! It's also interesting to me that it seems like his confusion towards his sexuality bothers him a LOT more than his feelings for Charlie do. He likes being in love with Charlie, that much obvious, but it's this conflict within himself that bugs him. And idk, I could be projecting again but I just can't see a neurotypical teenager reacting like that. To me, it really reads as Nick going. "Okay, I like kissing Charlie and being around Charlie. I'm in love, this is good. Check." but then his sexuality is a huge gray area until he does more research on bisexuality and decides that's the label he wants to use and I think the not knowing is what really bothers him. There's a lot of pressure in queer spaces especially nowadays to be labeled and for Nick, a character who buried his personality to be accepted by others, to specifically be upset at being confused about his identity reads as neurodivergent to me. Nick, by all accounts, doesn't seem to really care about his sexuality except for the way it challenges who he believed himself to be up until this point and what that means to the people around him who think he's just some straight laddish dude, you know? Largely, he also seems rather apathetic towards sexuality and gender in general except when he has to confront his sexuality and how other people will perceive him if they knew what his sexuality is-- hence keeping things between him and Charlie a secret despite the fact that he's never ever been shown to be ashamed of the fact that he loves Charlie.
Anyway, this post got way too long. Enjoy one of my favorite OCD/AUDHD moments between Nick and Charlie. THEY LITERALLY KISSED LIKE TEN MINUTES BEFORE THIS MOMENT... INSANE BEHAVIOR... I love them. The sillies.
#chao talks#heartstopper#charlie spring#nick nelson#narlie#meta#is this meta?#idk maybe#really wrote all that and didnt even get to why i think he's audhd but you know#fuck it we ball#in case anyone wanted to know what percolates in my head#it's the fact that i think nick is undiagnosed with SOMETHING.#it would kind of slay if that were a plot point for nick's uni drama rn.#wink wink a nudge nudge#im joking#mostly
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u know i truly enjoyed until dawn but
i really REALLY hate the way josh was treated. if ur friend is having a mental health crisis, pls don't shout at them, hit them, or tie them up in a shed. just.....just talk to them ok?? call their mum. get them their medication and a glass of water and a snack. please for the love of god don't hurt them, that will just make things WORSe 😩
ALSO. may i just say. that i actually do NOT blame josh at all for being angry with his friends. their first prank led directly AND indirectly to the deaths of his two sisters, and one year, a SINGLE YEAR LATER, they were all back on that mountain, playing MORE PRANKS on each other, arguing, not even TALKING about hannah and beth and showing remorse for their actions. they learnt NOTHING, they learnt absolutely nothing and were STILL acting like utter twats. i don't blame josh for wanting to scare the piss out of them. i really don't. furthermore i both respect and am attracted to his dedication, planning, and genius. i find him quite brilliant and i love his film references, i would like to airlift him out of the game and invite him to my house to watch mst3k and be my friend 😌😌😌
#birb still says#until dawn#JUSTICE FOR JOSH#i don't care what anyone says josh is a good boy and he deserved better#fr tho if ur friend is having a mental health crisis DO NOT escalate the situation!!!#do NOT hit them and shout at them bc that will NOT help#every situation is different but in general#be calm and get assistance from their family or therapist or doctor#water and food can help as well#bc dehydration or low blood sugar can make certain conditions worse#poor josh ;A;#i wish he'd had a better outcome esp after everything he'd been thru!!! ;A;
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Let’s amp up the “Jason says ow and the batfam thinks he must be gravely injured” headcanon.
Jason calls Bruce or Dick for fun and says nothing but “goodbye” before hanging up (maybe it’s a dare by Roy who TOTALLY suspects the reaction Jay is gonna get).
Ten minutes late the entire Justice League is scouring Gotham, on the hunt for Jason.
#someone is stuck on Bat-sitting duty#meaning someone is tasked to watch Batman in case he tries to skimp on his no kill rule again#person in question is hyper aware Bruce definitely has ten different ways to taoe them down instantly#it’s not a fun situation for anybody#except for Jason#who’s getting ready for bed totally convinced all he’s gonna get the next day is an annoyed bat lecture#meanwhile every JLA member and their sidekick on the hunt for red hood#hoping they’ll find him (alive!) before they have a rogue batman on their hands#or a rogue batfamily in general#the rest aren’t looking too sane right now either oops#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#robin#bruce wayne#ghost talks#tim drake#red hood#batman#batdad#Damian wayne#alfred pennyworth
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This is exactly why I called it “breaking my silence.” Because no one who has a criticism about Con can ever voice it without being called a bully. Because I know for a FACT that there are people who don’t like his rendition but pretend to because they don’t want to get jumped on. Like I’m sorry that I wanted to vent. About a thing that drives me crazy. And that apparently you all took that to mean “I have the only right opinion and everyone who disagrees is stupid and wrong.” Sorry for not slapping every other sentence in my original post with “this is my OPINION btw”, because it was for venting. And idk about you, but when I vent about something, i dont exactly worry about everyone taking everything I say completely literally because it’s VENTING.
YOU even mentioned expression under "there is so much more to singing then just being able to hold a tone", this is again more a question of taste so you’re welcome to a different opinion but you have to get over the fact that TO ME and a lot of other people Cons vocal expression is great and just makes me FEEL things.
That's fine, you're allowed to have your own opinions. Music is subjective. To a point. But I can tell you that I personally was never very good at being expressive in performances, and you can bet I got notes on it. And if I had performed the way Con did, I absolutely would have gotten notes on expression, breath control, diction, pronunciation... I don't think it's too much to expect that a professional actor who is getting paid to do this to actually excel at it. Especially since it's prerecorded. And I assume they would have done multiple takes. You're allowed your opinion, and you're moved by his performance. I'm allowed my opinion, and I wasn't. And I listed the things that I would have liked to see done better (or done at all) for me to like the performance. Again, my opinion.
not even a vocal trainer?, your "source" is “I took singing lessons”? Everyone can do that, that says precisely nothing about your own qualification.
Again, this was a vent post, I wasn't really expecting anyone to interact with it, I didn't realize I need to give an outline of my education and experience. It also was a bit of a joke that apparently you missed.
Being a classically trained vocalist is miles away from “I took singing lessons.” It’s the difference between saying “I can speak on biology because I have a degree in biology” versus “I took biology classes.” It means that I’ve been trained in vocal techniques like mouth placement, tongue placement, breath support, posture, projection, vocal balance, etc etc. I’m not trying to sound superior, I’m just trying to say that I know more about this topic than the average person. Is a geologist being superior by citing their degree in order to speak on a geology-related subject?
“then don’t read it! How entitled are you to think that every fanfic author in this whole entire fandom has to agree with your taste in music? Don’t like it? Don’t fucking read it”
Yeah I generally don’t. But I can’t exactly avoid it when it’s not really something that can be tagged??? It’s something that tends to just pop up in fics??? And I wasn’t actually saying that I think everyone needs to bend to my whims or some shit. I was expressing something that annoys me. In an overly exaggerated way. Not every sentence needs to be taken literally. Like if I said “ugh I hate nuts in brownies, brownies should NEVER have nuts in them” I’m not actually saying that everyone needs to stop putting nuts in their brownies because I said so. I’m saying I don’t like nuts in brownies, this is how much I don’t like nuts in brownies.
“‘I’m not saying that Con doesn’t deserve this one’ -except you literally just DID”
I didn’t. I said that people win awards who don’t deserve it all the time. I said that to indicate that having won an award for something doesn’t necessarily give credence to an argument, in general. Not necessarily to this particular situation. I didn’t fucking say Con doesn’t deserve this award. I said maybe he did. I don’t know because I haven’t seen it, and I don’t really want to tbh, but I don’t have to see a performance from 40 years ago to critique a performance from last year. Like I said, voices change. Skill levels change. Especially if you’re not actively working on keeping them up. I don’t know what Con’s vocal practice looks like, or if he even has one anymore, but I can tell you my personal opinion on this performance, based on my own education.
It’s not hateful to vent about something that bothers me without specifically saying that this is my opinion on it, and we’re allowed to have different opinions. It’s not hateful to outline the reason something bothers me. If you interpreted my tone as being superior or aggressive or “everyone should have my opinion”, whatever that means, then fine. I don’t care. I do care about being called a bully when I was venting about something that bothers me, speaking generally into the void of the internet, having tagged it appropriately as a critical post, not expecting anyone to interact with it. That “don’t like don’t read” goes both ways. Don’t like a post, don’t interact. Just block and move on. The block is there for a reason.
Okay I’m breaking my silence. Con’s voice is not good. His rendition of La Vie en Rose is bad. And grating. And his French pronunciation sucks. Sure he can hold a tune, but there’s so much more to singing than that that he doesn’t have, or isn’t trained in. Timbre. Intonation. Expression. Resonance. Breath control. Source: I’m a classically trained vocalist.
There. I said it. If I see one more fic talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/whatever Izzy’s singing is, I’m going to throw something. Surprising is fine. Because it was surprising (and out of left field) for Izzy to sing. But beautiful, it ain’t.
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Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.
And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite
#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#so like what if marcy moving away was a proper tragedy#what if things were WORSE for her#what if *smashes marcy with a ROCK*#i realized that.#despite my parents being shitty (just found out literaly today my mom had doctors give me the wrong treatment because she assumed my body#would react the same way as hers. instead of doing what literally every doctor told her to do. now i need to get it fixed)#they still asked me how I felt about moving away to a different province when in like. 8.#like. oh right. this is something parents generally ask their kids about. instead of uprooting their entire lives out of nowhere.#marcy's situation is complicated in a narrative sense because#in order for her arc to work her departure must be dictated by morally neutral forces outside of her control#but her parents' decision seems very shitty with the context we're given. you COULD give context that justified their actions#i.e have them explain that they really do need this if they want marcy to go to college or some shit like that#but then it stops being Marcy vs. Forces of Nature#and it becomes Marcy vs. Her Dad (and she has to accept he's right in this one)#the show is clearly for a Marcy vs. Forces of Nature conflict (in this case it's the inevitability of change)#and in order to keep the antagonistic force abstract you CAN'T have her dad be a proper character#BUT. as a consequence -> Marcy has to give into the ''#the ''natural order'' which would be accepting her parents' power over her as natural and inevitable#it's not even like... accepting her parents are right or anything. just that their o#that their complete control of the situation and marcy's total powerlessness is natural and inevitable#and that's tragic! from a more watsonian ñerspective#perspective* : Marcy is sent back to her shitty parents and she just needs to learn how to deal with it away from her support system#the solution imo would have been to change the motivation behind her family moving away so that it's outside her parents' control too#it really has to be completely inevitable. i can't think of an alternative reason but it's just what it#it's what would fix this problem imo#it's a simple fix really
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If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.
While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.
I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.
#zionism#my gods y'all need to get a grip and start remembering that confirmation bias exists#and y'all use sources continually in this way while just generally having so much bs of presenting How To Not Use My Own Sources#or actually to be more correct you clearly do know you just choose not to because you'd rather be justified in resource theft and profit#Like the while tome it's been about either material gain or feeling good about yourself while you shit on strangers#and then I also see y'all make other accounts ro harass random Arabs for fun and random queers who aren't even related like#the fuck is wrong with y'all go sit down and think about why you all do this pointless bs#it's such a waste of your own life spending it looking for fights to help with your bottomless insecurities#Israel#fuck israel#long live palestine#like you can say hamas was bad all you like it doesn't actually change the situation and what y'all have been doing for 76 years#and actually longer but y'all arent ready for that conversation and how Zionists butchered Jews and helped Nazi Germany historically#like sorry that Was a thing that happened and if you want to label yourselves as The Sacred Protectors of Jews then you have to face that#Pretending history didn't happen isn't helpful to anyone including yourselves y'all just making Zionism look even worse and like idiocy#I mean it is but you all aren't helping yourselves by being literal holocaust deniers#and being like “but Zionists saved Jews afterwards” as if that somehow erases the fact they ALSO helped the Nazis#like history is full of contradictory bullshit so when you say “but what about this” you know that doesn't erase the other things right??#“That's worse. You DO see how that's worse right?”#I'm shaking you all and yelling this like it is WORSE that they killed Jews and then started playing the saviour and fellow victims#You do see how that is really bad for Jews today to be in a place created for political power plays and material gain through any means#like you see how that could be REALLY dangerous for Jews if they're that expendable to Zionist entities and the government#and you do realise that is literally what we are seeing from the actions of said government#and how they acting sadly very predictablely when you consider the historical contexts for its existence?#People who research this shit aren't surprised because it happens every single year and has been happening for centuries -#- before Israel the holocaust etc. It's been like this for as long as political Zionism and the French Revolution#It's been going on since pre Marxism and pre a lot of differing things but y'all pretend Zionists haven't ever harmed Jews ever when -#- there's a long history of internal conflict and in fighting that formed modern Zionism and plenty of internalised antisemetism within it#Yeah there's a genuine desire for return to the land (Not Own It just return and live peacefully)#but that is very very different to Political Zionism that formed as a socialist nationalist movement
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i wish we knew why thea likes kevin
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#i don'think it really says#i assume it isn't because of the particular brand of#Kevin Day Charm that we see over and over#which seems to work wonders on every depressed man he comes across#i would think she sees him a bit differently from that#and the ec does say that at some point they started getting to know each other off the court#so that's probably the answer#but that's something we don't really get to see#so like i keep saying#kevin has layers we don't know about :(#or maybe they like each other for the same reasons#they're both competitive they're both great at exy they're both ravens#they're both uhhhh not nice people (part of being a raven i guess 💀)#but they also have personalities outside of exy#at least that's what i gathered from the ec#idk how and why ppl get into relationships in general#let alone in their situation#idk man i just wonder
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Interesting idea.
It makes sense, but at the same time, I feel like it's actually possible for it not to be the case. I mostly say this as someone who'd suffered from emotional blunting for a time, but it's possible to be a decent person without feeling emotions. It just involves more of a choice.
And, it really depends on what you define love as. On my part, I see love as being only partly emotion-based & mostly choice & action-based. Like, love itself isn't an emotion. It's much more complex than that. So, what he might not be capable of is feeling affection & he might struggle with forming connections with other people.
But we definitely know that he's able to feel things like fear & anger still. So, he likely possesses many other emotions as well.
If such were the case, I actually think that UF Flowey would be more so like how he tends to be interpreted in the fandom after the games should he go with them to the Surface. Sort of a surly, tsundere sort with a definite mouth on him.
I'll be honest, most of my interpretations of the UT aus tend to revolve around alternate timelines in which in every au, before the Monsters are sealed, everything is exactly the same, but after that is when things can vary. Specifically, with the split point generally being when the tragedy with Asriel & Chara took place.
My reasoning being that, because Asgore & Torial are king & queen, they just innately have much more influence over how the kingdom's future will be molded. As such, depending on their reactions to the loss, it will cause a butterfly effect to take place.
In my mind, in an Underswap situation, originally, Asgore was still the one who made the order to kill all humans, but instead of simply leaving, here Toriel would've tried to reason with Asgore. However, in so doing, she would eventually realize just how dire their situation is as the reality of declining Hope, increasing Falling rates, dwindling food stock, & a climbing population with less & less room to expand, would eventually cause her to begin to see Asgore's side.
As such, she'd remain queen at his side until the next human fell. But, at the realization that it was another child, Asgore would falter. And so would Toriel... But, in the end, she chooses to poison the girl, ensuring that she felt no pain.
But this would horrify Asgore & suddenly, he would be the one to try to find ways to change her mind, but I tend to see Toriel as being very stubborn when she's set her mind to something.
Thus, the swap takes place. Asgore leaves with a broken heart.
In the case of Underfell & Swapfell, the main difference would be in Asgor/Toriel allowing bitterness & hatred to overshadow their good intentions. This shift in emotional state would then be reflected by their subjects, causing a darker, more violent, & more cynical outlook.
But that's just me.
Again, I see the core of the characters being the same, but changed by their experiences.
UT AU, where UF Flowey has his canon personality and is THRIVING in the gothic evil kingdom...
Because Flowey is still soulless in UF, so it doesn't make much sense for him to be a decent person...
However, UF Flowey is a bit smarter and more patient than Canon Flowey, so he pretends to be Frisk's BFF until they reach Asgore's Castle...
UF Flowey PRETENDS to be weak to trick Frisk into helping him (and Sans realizes this, then gives Frisk a brief warning about Flowey)...
After Flowey reveals his true colors and Frisk resets, Frisk is forced to still bring Flowey along for the journey...
Because Flowey is the only one that can convince Toriel to let them leave (Flowey has Toriel's respect for being the only one not afraid of her) and Flowey also threatens to trap Frisk in vines then give them to the royal guard, if the child tries to ditch Flowey...
It's harder for Frisk to befriend all the monsters, but they still do it because Frisk is a determined little badass!
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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#since i've decided to be online™ for a minute i'm gonna drop a controversial post and dip#i'm so so tired of people and their opinions on rainbows at shows#when people started bringing flags to 1d shows it was because they felt safe and the fandom felt like a community to them#they didn't do it for the boys and they didn't do it in the hopes of the boys interacting with the flags#the boys were lovely enough to make the fans feel safe and that's why the fans brought flags and stuff along with them#however as of late people have forgotten that and they bring it in the hopes of louis interacting with them#and then they're disappointed when he doesn't interact with them and unlarrie or unstan or whatever#like i'm so sorry but he never asked you explicitly to bring flags. and also he doesn't owe you an interaction#sure it's fun to do fan projects and to see everyone come together but do it for yourself#don't do it because you think he's a sorry closeted person who needs to see the support#he knows he's supported. he founded the rainbow bears so he definitely knows he's supported#by pressuring him to interact with the flags or whatever you're literally just shoving his closet in his face#just because harry interacts with rainbows does not mean louis should do. they're two completely different people#with completely different situations. so don't invalidate their identities#if you want to bring flags along do it for yourself do it because you want to do it because you feel the community#don't ever for whatever reason do it for louis because you think he needs it or whatever#like in general don't do it for other's sake. do it for you and only you.#i'm genuinely tired of the louis vs rainbow conversation coming up every few days so yeah
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i've had multiple people irl recently describe 911 to me as "a good show to have on in the background that you don't need to pay much attention to" and i'm always just like ?????? are we watching the same show ?????
#the difference is i am watching so i can dissect & analyze the characters' every move#and they (the general public) are watching for the wacky calls & dramatic situations
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#vent#wow I will never be able to let myself have friends huh#I am unwanted and inherently unwantable#I have it all figured out I just can't DO anything right. why is breaking silence the hardest thing to do#I can't bring myself to make/maintain/deepen friendships bc I'm convinced that I'm unpleasant to be around and unpleasant to be friends with#my company is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy#<- completely unjustified belief. I am kind and friendly and capable of responding appropriately in the majority of social situations#they reach out and I shrink back every time. no matter how much they reach towards me I can't believe that they actually want me around#and ofc the reasonable thing for them to do is stop reaching! when I never reach back! why would they expect a different outcome this time#so I can't blame anyone. I can't sit around waiting for a saintly mindreader who can see that my actions contradict my feelings#I know I just need to reach out. but how could I do that when I'm convinced it'll only hurt them?#my presence makes their day worse. I'm a mangy dog begging for scraps I don't deserve at their table. I am harming them with my presence#how can I beg for their attention and company and time when I know their life would be better without me in it#<- false belief. when I reach out I make them feel wanted and they feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they know I like them.#everyone appreciates being reached out to. I am pleasant to be around. they like being liked by me. my company is a desirable thing#company in general is a desirable thing. my company is better than no company. people like being liked.#logically I know all this to be true. emotionally? they hate me and I deserve it and the more I show I like them the more they'll hate me#sigh. what a banal problem to have. I'll stop being 18 years old one day. I can't wait until I have better things to worry about#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao#narcissus's echoes
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